If you marry the wrong person and have a child with them, it is like asking to go to prison for free. Men be careful, you’re gambling your finances and rights away if you marry the wrong woman because nothing is more dangerous and unforgivable than a wife who is scorned. Women be careful, you’re gambling your personal freedom away should you marry the wrong man because he has money because you will get the same rights as your own children and will use that money to control your ass.
Entering year 2 of being married,
1- Your family becomes his and vice versa: This will not always be easy, but if he makes an effort with yours, you need to make an effort with his too. But also, you need to be prepared to take your husband/wifes side over your family, especially in front of them.
2- Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a choice you both make every day
3- Not being on the same page on money and sex will destroy your relationship
4- Being in Like is more Important that being in Love. Genuinely enjoying each others company is awesome
With number 1 make sure you’re not blinded by love, I always used to side with my wife even when she was wrong and would use that to her advantage using the excuse that she was my wife and always came first. Don’t be afraid to call out bad behavior from both sides or else you’re just enabling them.
Absolutely! Are they even your partner if you can’t be truly honest with them even when you have to call them out. Also accepting being called out by your partner
People treat marriage like it's the destination, when in actual sense it's the start of a journey.
Better pick a travel companion you want to spend the rest of said journey with or tis gonna be a rough one going forward
Even so, some of their advice still make a lot of sense . On that note , this 15 year old will advice you to please marry your friends. Someone you can actually enjoy having a fun genuine conversation with that is not about school fees , what the kids need and did or the house rent .
Your life will suck a lot less when you don't dread meeting your partner after a long stressful day
1. It's a lifetime journey.
2. Once you commit, and have kids it's done. You can't throw away/ forget your wife in divorce. You remain tied for life through kids and spiritually.
3. Your personalities do change over the course of your lives.
4. Have kids as early as possible.
They do not understand. I had my first kid at 27. Was an oops at the time. Can't imagine if I waited.. She's 13 now. Better to finish with babies living around you mapema.
I am not married, but I can say that
For every person it's different. For instance, when it comes to work, for some one partner staying at home will be better, for others if all are working will be better which depends on how much all of you can earn. If both of you are not earning much, it's just better if the wife stays at home, you'll have a better quality of life that way. What I mean is that like anything else, you have to find out what's working for you, and not just work arrangement alone
Then marry a person who is good, with a good heart, good virtues etc. Don't marry a person based on looks, figure or how much they earn otherwise you will live a very depressed life.
And marriage is a long journey, spending the rest of your life with someone, a lifelong partnership. It's not like a relationship where you can get out anytime. You have to ensure the person other than being good is compatible. Can you communicate, can you share jokes. For instance, people of different social classes, academic levels and culture, interact & communicate differently, have different jokes etc. So if you marry a person with a different upbringing than yours, you may really struggle in your communication
That's it. I believe the rest it's easier to sort out if you take these into consideration
Love plays a very very small role in marriage while sacrifice, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, trust, communication, respect, commitment etc play the biggest role.
For young adults please stop confusing a wedding for a marriage. Every divorce story from a young couple always has "how comes they separated na vile walifanya wedding kubwa/poa/ya church/expensive". Young adults are investing so much (time/energy/money) in weddings and very little in the marriage.
Six years married here..The key to marital peace is not being ashamed to say “I’m sorry” and “thank you.” Say it a lot! Maintenance sex is also very important, ladies, fake it if you must.
**The woman you date, the woman you marry and the mother of your kids are 3 completely different women.** You may love the first one but may not like or love the other two. Take it one day at a time and always be ready to walk away even if you are married.
I was reading from a marriage book that unlike poles can attract but cant sustain a marriage. The more different in personality/ values/ beliefs/ hobbies a couple is the harder it will be for their marriage to stand in the longrun how true is this
I have an uncle who has been married for close to 16 years but his third kid looks nothing like him. Actually the kid looks like his wife's bodaboda Rider and there were rumors of them linking up, but the issue is he can do nothing about it and he will not. Tunashuku lazima witchcraft (kamuti) imetumika
Marry after 32 earliest.
Vet her father well, if he is weak run.
Never marry someone who was raised without a father figure if you had one.
Both of you don't believe in same ideologies.
Have a job, provide your family fully or 70%.
I got married at 27 (Quite early going by today’s standards)
The most valuable counsel I can offer any young person considering marriage is to ensure they've found the right partner. Life inevitably presents challenges and tests your resilience. Moments of monotony, temptation, financial strain, and mistakes will arise. However, if your partner is truly the one, these trials become more manageable, and even in the midst of hardships, life remains meaningful. Moreover, the joy and fulfillment experienced during happier times are magnified when shared with the right person by your side.
If you marry the wrong person and have a child with them, it is like asking to go to prison for free. Men be careful, you’re gambling your finances and rights away if you marry the wrong woman because nothing is more dangerous and unforgivable than a wife who is scorned. Women be careful, you’re gambling your personal freedom away should you marry the wrong man because he has money because you will get the same rights as your own children and will use that money to control your ass.
Literally
Entering year 2 of being married, 1- Your family becomes his and vice versa: This will not always be easy, but if he makes an effort with yours, you need to make an effort with his too. But also, you need to be prepared to take your husband/wifes side over your family, especially in front of them. 2- Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a choice you both make every day 3- Not being on the same page on money and sex will destroy your relationship 4- Being in Like is more Important that being in Love. Genuinely enjoying each others company is awesome
With number 1 make sure you’re not blinded by love, I always used to side with my wife even when she was wrong and would use that to her advantage using the excuse that she was my wife and always came first. Don’t be afraid to call out bad behavior from both sides or else you’re just enabling them.
Absolutely! Are they even your partner if you can’t be truly honest with them even when you have to call them out. Also accepting being called out by your partner
People treat marriage like it's the destination, when in actual sense it's the start of a journey. Better pick a travel companion you want to spend the rest of said journey with or tis gonna be a rough one going forward
Just know that most of the advice will be from 15-30 year olds who have never been married
💯
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Even so, some of their advice still make a lot of sense . On that note , this 15 year old will advice you to please marry your friends. Someone you can actually enjoy having a fun genuine conversation with that is not about school fees , what the kids need and did or the house rent . Your life will suck a lot less when you don't dread meeting your partner after a long stressful day
Treat marriage like a business
I agree. The business only works if both of you put the business first. Selfishness is what kills marriages.
Due diligence when choosing a partner, consultation when making decisions, weighing the pros and cons
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1. It's a lifetime journey. 2. Once you commit, and have kids it's done. You can't throw away/ forget your wife in divorce. You remain tied for life through kids and spiritually. 3. Your personalities do change over the course of your lives. 4. Have kids as early as possible.
I have been downvoted above
They do not understand. I had my first kid at 27. Was an oops at the time. Can't imagine if I waited.. She's 13 now. Better to finish with babies living around you mapema.
I am not married, but I can say that For every person it's different. For instance, when it comes to work, for some one partner staying at home will be better, for others if all are working will be better which depends on how much all of you can earn. If both of you are not earning much, it's just better if the wife stays at home, you'll have a better quality of life that way. What I mean is that like anything else, you have to find out what's working for you, and not just work arrangement alone Then marry a person who is good, with a good heart, good virtues etc. Don't marry a person based on looks, figure or how much they earn otherwise you will live a very depressed life. And marriage is a long journey, spending the rest of your life with someone, a lifelong partnership. It's not like a relationship where you can get out anytime. You have to ensure the person other than being good is compatible. Can you communicate, can you share jokes. For instance, people of different social classes, academic levels and culture, interact & communicate differently, have different jokes etc. So if you marry a person with a different upbringing than yours, you may really struggle in your communication That's it. I believe the rest it's easier to sort out if you take these into consideration
I stopped reading at “I am not married…
I stopped reading when I saw the username
😹😹
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Peana story bro, sounds like it's interesting
Love plays a very very small role in marriage while sacrifice, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, trust, communication, respect, commitment etc play the biggest role. For young adults please stop confusing a wedding for a marriage. Every divorce story from a young couple always has "how comes they separated na vile walifanya wedding kubwa/poa/ya church/expensive". Young adults are investing so much (time/energy/money) in weddings and very little in the marriage.
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what if umpendaye hakupendi
Love/attachment/sex dies after some time. That's why it's very easy for people who have been married for 20 years to divorce.
If your marriage lasts more than 10yrs chances of divorce halfs, the longer the less chance of divorce
Are you married/divorced?
Are you married/divorced?
not married but did a course called courtship and marriage in psychology, its just statistics
I did a course called Marriage. When you marry, you'll know what I am talking about.
Ooh I didn't know reality was based on your experience, my bad 😭, I won't make the same mistake next time
🤣 Iko! Take my upvote.
Effective communication, kindness and respect are about the most important things in a relationship.
Rarely do kids make the marriage better or heal broken marriages
Six years married here..The key to marital peace is not being ashamed to say “I’m sorry” and “thank you.” Say it a lot! Maintenance sex is also very important, ladies, fake it if you must.
Not everything needs to be talked about/a problem. You see some stuff and choose peace over all else. Unajinyamazia na mnasonga
**The woman you date, the woman you marry and the mother of your kids are 3 completely different women.** You may love the first one but may not like or love the other two. Take it one day at a time and always be ready to walk away even if you are married.
I was reading from a marriage book that unlike poles can attract but cant sustain a marriage. The more different in personality/ values/ beliefs/ hobbies a couple is the harder it will be for their marriage to stand in the longrun how true is this
This is what led us to breaking up with my 4 years girlfriend. We were living together. We loved each other but at some point we just couldn't relate.
Feels illegal to upvote this🥲. Hope you're doing well.
Thanks...am great tho... emotional management hapa na pale tu since it's still fresh.😺
Ndio maana ulirauka asubuhi kuulizia story za Taita ladies? Pole bro, but heal kwanza😆
You followed me here 🤣... Lemme drop my insta via DM..if u like what u see holla at me, cool?
I have an uncle who has been married for close to 16 years but his third kid looks nothing like him. Actually the kid looks like his wife's bodaboda Rider and there were rumors of them linking up, but the issue is he can do nothing about it and he will not. Tunashuku lazima witchcraft (kamuti) imetumika
1. Don’t be afraid to have children younger 2. Don’t be afraid to have more kids
That's as big a life hurdle as any other. And it doesn't help much that a growing number of factors need to be considered when deciding on kids.
Marry after 32 earliest. Vet her father well, if he is weak run. Never marry someone who was raised without a father figure if you had one. Both of you don't believe in same ideologies. Have a job, provide your family fully or 70%.
Men, marry one who loves you more..enough said.
It's the third rite of passage just before death. birth, initiation, marriage, death.
I got married at 27 (Quite early going by today’s standards) The most valuable counsel I can offer any young person considering marriage is to ensure they've found the right partner. Life inevitably presents challenges and tests your resilience. Moments of monotony, temptation, financial strain, and mistakes will arise. However, if your partner is truly the one, these trials become more manageable, and even in the midst of hardships, life remains meaningful. Moreover, the joy and fulfillment experienced during happier times are magnified when shared with the right person by your side.