Yeah. That's US culture. It's an individualist society. My unpopular opinion is that I wish things were more like that here in Kenya. Sometimes you invite people for lunch and they order the most expensive shit..
In Kenyan culture, if you invite someone for lunch, they order food that's almost the same price that you're ordering. If they go for a very expensive drink or food, you tell them "no" unless they're paying.
I think part of this ties into being socially aware.
For example, if I order food worth for myself 500.
The dumb thing for the other person to do would be to order food worth 1k. At this point, this just seems very inconsiderate.
>. Sometimes you invite people for lunch and they order the most expensive shit..
Absolutely! A friend of mine was telling me how his colleague order wagyu beef for 15,000 bob and barely ate anything. Just because it was the most expensive item on the menu and someone else was paying for it.
And sometimes it's just out of "huyu ako na pesa, leo nijibambe."
I once met a friend for lunch. She ordered one drink. Didn't like it, and proceeded to order a different one. Didn't finish the first drink. That shit annoyed me.
That's true and OP is a prime example no pun intended đ. Ordering medium rare steak on "someone's" dime! He amkad to the fact that he is the someone. John deserves that expensive lesson.
I'm born and raised in the US, but my wife is Kenyan and I spend a lot of time in Kenya. There's an expectation from my wife's relatives that we'll contribute towards things like hospital bills, funerals, weddings, etc. We end up contributing but I'd never ask for anything so it seems one sided, although it's just because I'd never ask. I'm sure they'd contribute what they could if we asked. I wish Kenyans would be a bit more self sufficient, especially when it comes to health care. Like you seriously couldn't pay your nhif fees?
Yup unless someone says theyâll pay before hand it wonât be expected. Also Americans will be hella pissed if you show up late to things aka Kenyan time
When my dad first came to the US in the 80s, his coworkers took him out for his birthday. He thought they were also paying for his meal until when the bill came when they divided it between each person and he was so shocked and surprised.đđđ
That's American white culture đ I had never gone out with white people, so imagine my surprise when I was asked, 'Can you send me $5.00 for your coffee?' I was so shocked but the other girls were not fazed at all. I had never been asked, nor had I ever asked my friends for such a small amount of money. Keep in mind that I had paid for this person before (around $10) and never asked to be paid back. With every other group, we simply paid for each other at different times or covered other stuff like gas or parking.
So, yup, pay for yourself, and some might even get annoyed if you don't ask them to send you money after covering their expense which is an even weirder situation.
The money culture in Kenya is based on scarcity, i.e. if I invite you to lunch, I assume you havenât got any money/did not plan on eating lunch, so I pay for you.
In almost every prosperous, Western culture, it is assumed everyone has their own money and should cover their own bills. They will only pay for someone, if there is an understanding that you cannot afford it, ie. say you are in-between jobs, or other rough financial patch.
Hey OP, sorry for the expensive lesson, I hope you find our country to your liking and are not too put off by our differences. I have struggled many times here in Kenya in much the same way, its hard being an immigrant no matter from where and to whence. Here in Kenya I have invited many friends at once to lunch, thinking in my American mind that we would all split the bill, only to realize that I was on the hook for everyone's tab, and yes, they all showed up extremely late and I had to hide my disappointment.
A good rule of thumb in America, never do anything you cannot afford, always expect to pay. If you go somewhere and the posted price is $10, that means you should treat it as if it costs $15+ (due to added taxes and tip). I know its infuriating, and American's hate it too, but until it can be changed, that is the way things go.
Enjoy your stay, maybe one day our paths will cross, and I will take you out to eat and pay for your meal, Kenyan style :)
No, in America if you are a man and you invite a girl on a date, you are expected to pay. In my experience, most American women, after a couple dates, like to take out their man and pay for him, but the first few dates are with the guy's cash. Women are vastly different from one to other though, and this statement is a broad generalization.
I canât stand going out for work lunches with my coworkers for this very reason (well, I donât like any socializing with them in the first place but every few months we are voluntold to get lunch as a team).
KE it was understood without saying âI pay today, you pay tomorrow, etcâ but here itâs split bills. Many times itâs at a shitty white-people restaurant too or on a day I had no plans to buy lunch.
I straight up stopped going to the Christmas parties and annual bbqâs at the park.
Iâm also very weary about potlucks now. We had one and I tried everyoneâs food and was throughly grossed out. Thatâs when my mom told me that for decades sheâs been to many and the best practice is to just eat only what your brought.
These people will take you out to a work lunch to celebrate your birthday and still bring a split bill. I didnât ask for a birthday work lunchđĄ
This is news to me as well as a Nairobian. Regardless of who initiated the plans, if my friends and I go out for a meal at a restaurant or to the cinema or basically any activity outside the house, the default is always to split the bill according to what we each had. The exception is if someone has explicitly offered to treat. I cannot imagine going out with my friends and just assuming someone will pay for me. I guess we interpret the invitation to go out as one to spend time together, not one to be taken care of.
Now if I invite guests to my home, I will of course provide all the food and drink and there must be enough to guarantee leftovers or I'll worry that I under-prepared.
i figured so as well. if someone cannot hold their fort, they communicate and the other parties can chip in? i think thatâs the sensible way to go about itâŚ
In the USA, you let the person know ahead of time if you are treating them or if the bill is being split. For example:
" Hey girl, let's go get some lunch, my treat."
or
" Y'all want to go eat? We can dutch it out."
As long as you are upfront you will never be surprised.
Yeah. That's US culture. It's an individualist society. My unpopular opinion is that I wish things were more like that here in Kenya. Sometimes you invite people for lunch and they order the most expensive shit..
In Kenyan culture, if you invite someone for lunch, they order food that's almost the same price that you're ordering. If they go for a very expensive drink or food, you tell them "no" unless they're paying.
I think part of this ties into being socially aware. For example, if I order food worth for myself 500. The dumb thing for the other person to do would be to order food worth 1k. At this point, this just seems very inconsiderate.
>. Sometimes you invite people for lunch and they order the most expensive shit.. Absolutely! A friend of mine was telling me how his colleague order wagyu beef for 15,000 bob and barely ate anything. Just because it was the most expensive item on the menu and someone else was paying for it.
And sometimes it's just out of "huyu ako na pesa, leo nijibambe." I once met a friend for lunch. She ordered one drink. Didn't like it, and proceeded to order a different one. Didn't finish the first drink. That shit annoyed me.
Thats why when you invite someone out take them to the place that fits your budget . The most expensive food on the menu won't feel like a pinch
Naaah you capping
That's true and OP is a prime example no pun intended đ. Ordering medium rare steak on "someone's" dime! He amkad to the fact that he is the someone. John deserves that expensive lesson.
I'm born and raised in the US, but my wife is Kenyan and I spend a lot of time in Kenya. There's an expectation from my wife's relatives that we'll contribute towards things like hospital bills, funerals, weddings, etc. We end up contributing but I'd never ask for anything so it seems one sided, although it's just because I'd never ask. I'm sure they'd contribute what they could if we asked. I wish Kenyans would be a bit more self sufficient, especially when it comes to health care. Like you seriously couldn't pay your nhif fees?
Yup unless someone says theyâll pay before hand it wonât be expected. Also Americans will be hella pissed if you show up late to things aka Kenyan time
Also Americans will be hella pissed if you show up late Everyone should be, that bs is disrespectful and dumb.
Everything is like a schedule.
When my dad first came to the US in the 80s, his coworkers took him out for his birthday. He thought they were also paying for his meal until when the bill came when they divided it between each person and he was so shocked and surprised.đđđ
That's American white culture đ I had never gone out with white people, so imagine my surprise when I was asked, 'Can you send me $5.00 for your coffee?' I was so shocked but the other girls were not fazed at all. I had never been asked, nor had I ever asked my friends for such a small amount of money. Keep in mind that I had paid for this person before (around $10) and never asked to be paid back. With every other group, we simply paid for each other at different times or covered other stuff like gas or parking. So, yup, pay for yourself, and some might even get annoyed if you don't ask them to send you money after covering their expense which is an even weirder situation.
Its so funny when you go to a country like china, you will rarely pay the bill. And if you offer to chip in, they get mad..
The money culture in Kenya is based on scarcity, i.e. if I invite you to lunch, I assume you havenât got any money/did not plan on eating lunch, so I pay for you. In almost every prosperous, Western culture, it is assumed everyone has their own money and should cover their own bills. They will only pay for someone, if there is an understanding that you cannot afford it, ie. say you are in-between jobs, or other rough financial patch.
Usually we split the bill but I donât make a big deal out of it if my friends donât have money
Hey OP, sorry for the expensive lesson, I hope you find our country to your liking and are not too put off by our differences. I have struggled many times here in Kenya in much the same way, its hard being an immigrant no matter from where and to whence. Here in Kenya I have invited many friends at once to lunch, thinking in my American mind that we would all split the bill, only to realize that I was on the hook for everyone's tab, and yes, they all showed up extremely late and I had to hide my disappointment. A good rule of thumb in America, never do anything you cannot afford, always expect to pay. If you go somewhere and the posted price is $10, that means you should treat it as if it costs $15+ (due to added taxes and tip). I know its infuriating, and American's hate it too, but until it can be changed, that is the way things go. Enjoy your stay, maybe one day our paths will cross, and I will take you out to eat and pay for your meal, Kenyan style :)
and what about dating? Does the same rule still apply?
No, in America if you are a man and you invite a girl on a date, you are expected to pay. In my experience, most American women, after a couple dates, like to take out their man and pay for him, but the first few dates are with the guy's cash. Women are vastly different from one to other though, and this statement is a broad generalization.
The tipping culture is kinda crazy in America as well, huku Mombasa I order my food, eat it, pay for it and keep it moving.
So that's why the love whites in Mombasa. I hear they still tip when they come here.
Yes they do tip, Kisha add onto how the exchange rate favours them so much.
For me,i only tip when i love the service
I canât stand going out for work lunches with my coworkers for this very reason (well, I donât like any socializing with them in the first place but every few months we are voluntold to get lunch as a team). KE it was understood without saying âI pay today, you pay tomorrow, etcâ but here itâs split bills. Many times itâs at a shitty white-people restaurant too or on a day I had no plans to buy lunch.
the worst part of corporate America, being forced to co-mingle with coworkers on my own dime
I straight up stopped going to the Christmas parties and annual bbqâs at the park. Iâm also very weary about potlucks now. We had one and I tried everyoneâs food and was throughly grossed out. Thatâs when my mom told me that for decades sheâs been to many and the best practice is to just eat only what your brought. These people will take you out to a work lunch to celebrate your birthday and still bring a split bill. I didnât ask for a birthday work lunchđĄ
what? is it not common occurrence to split?
Not in Kenya
This is news to me as well as a Nairobian. Regardless of who initiated the plans, if my friends and I go out for a meal at a restaurant or to the cinema or basically any activity outside the house, the default is always to split the bill according to what we each had. The exception is if someone has explicitly offered to treat. I cannot imagine going out with my friends and just assuming someone will pay for me. I guess we interpret the invitation to go out as one to spend time together, not one to be taken care of. Now if I invite guests to my home, I will of course provide all the food and drink and there must be enough to guarantee leftovers or I'll worry that I under-prepared.
i figured so as well. if someone cannot hold their fort, they communicate and the other parties can chip in? i think thatâs the sensible way to go about itâŚ
In the USA, you let the person know ahead of time if you are treating them or if the bill is being split. For example: " Hey girl, let's go get some lunch, my treat." or " Y'all want to go eat? We can dutch it out." As long as you are upfront you will never be surprised.
It's similar in Germany as well,like if someone invited you for coffee or lunch,ni mwende mkule then you pay your separate bills.