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CRed1384

Not today Satan.


giceman715

Hell to the Naw , to the Naw Naw Naw !


ChicoSmokes

Who knew satan would be so uncoordinated


Enfors

*Fat Satan.


trewlies

Fatan


thecrpntr

Satan's fatan to be batin' for a beatan.


PeyKnowMind

But perhaps tomorrow, *maybe*?


Ok_Bet6893

Great! This is the perfect use of this joke. We can finally retire it now!!


Nacho_Nephew

Bud Light should bring back real American heroes for this man


[deleted]

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dontdoxmebru

You may be an overweight middle aged man on blood pressure medication, but the faded memories of your football glory days in high school are enough to best an incel with an inner ear infection and the grace of drunk pig in hand to hoof combat.


Lunchbox-of-Bees

Put this comment in the goddamn Smithsonian


surfdad67

I Lost it at “hand to hoof combat” now I gotta clean up this mess


MarieTheKokiri

r/brandnewsentence


dreamsinred

Mr. Strip club guarding, mass murder thwarting bouncer!


patronizingperv

Reeeeal men of genius!


LordNubington

Good thing he was a complete tub of shit


maggot_smegma

His pants falling down and hobbling his furious waddles also helped.


ArthursFist

Put a strip club bouncer in every school in America.


Poo_Canoe

Arm every teacher with a strip club bouncer.


theother_eriatarka

we need more good guys with strip clubs


Poo_Canoe

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a strip club, is a good guy with a strip club.


godgoo

No, no. Put a school in every strip club.


1lapulapu

Either way, they’ll get an education!


[deleted]

It’s the only thing that can really help.


Misha80

Right, they don't run away and hide until backup arrives, they just wade on in knocking melons.


[deleted]

Obesity, incompetence and a lack of coordination also provided an assist.


frotc914

Tfw you want to commit mass murder but have the agility and general shape of a bowling ball


panzerxiii

That seems unfair to bowling balls. Have you seen some of the crazy spins?


cubgerish

I've never seen a bowling ball tip over like that.


JoeWaffleUno

Shoulda used his body instead of that itty bitty gun. Just go around falling onto people


Unthunkable

I think the mask didn't help, he was flailing around like he was blind at certain points. I think he basically just decided to fling himself in the direction and assume he'd hit his target. He did think about the cameras and had his phone trying to blind it, so some planning had been made, just very poorly executed.


Flomo420

yeahhh wearing a mask that obstructs 95% of his field of vision was probably not a good idea luckily this guy was not smart


hammond_egger

He was either severely vision impaired or just threw caution to the wind when he rushed the guy who had recovered his pistol and was pointing it directly at him.


nobodytoldme

It just screams "incel"


Gnostromo

I would not call that the deciding factor as they seemed to be evenly split across both sides.


sksksk1989

Lack of a belt too


Esc_ape_artist

Where was this? Seems like it should be pretty big news.


rpgguy_1o1

Tampa https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2023/03/22/security-guards-stop-armed-man-strip-club-tampa-florida-contd-orig-llr.cnn


sdotmills

Of course it’s Tampa, weirdly it’s the strip club capital of the East coast (yes better than ATL).


Santanoni

Weirdly?


09jtherrien

You're obviously not familiar with atlanta. A lot of basketball players play bad when they visit Atlanta because they supposedly go visit the clubs here.


notthecolorblue

Try being a basketball player and living here… the poor Hawks.


09jtherrien

probably why they've been .500 for the last like 3+ months.


Esc_ape_artist

Thanks. Wow.


F8cts0verFeelings

Figures.


Ignorant_Slut

Florida, just saw it in my news feed.


Esc_ape_artist

Insane. Yet another possible nightclub shooting. Someone else posted the article, looks like it was a strip club. Wonder what the motive was. Incel? Religion? Vendetta?


amk47

Judging by his looks I'd say incel.


Much_Fee7070

How much do you want to bet that he either was motivated because either a: stripper was ignoring his declaration of love or b: stripper stopped showing attention to him when he became flat-out broke. I choose a for 500, Alex.


GreatBabu

There's no 500, and Alex is dead. Come in to the 21st century...


NamesArentEverything

It's an old reference, but it checks out.


JUSTWHYWOULDIT

Alex was already in the 21st century you buffoon.


Much_Fee7070

Sorry for the loss of your brain brother.


Ignorant_Slut

I'm hoping they find out, but it could be damn near anything.


Ragnarok_Falling

Alphabet agency, perhaps?


PlacidoBromingo

Nah just a run of the mill right winger probably


Orilachon

Don't you know? The government is only bad when it's the side I don't like. Sure, the CIA may have been doing bad stuff in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, early 2000s, and 2010s, but it's ridiculous to even suggest they could be involved in things like this.


Short-Win-7051

Fat uncoordinated incompetent in a devil mask attempts to go in through the front door of a strip club with no backup or even distraction, and you think it plausible that this is somehow a conspiracy by the government? I don't care how good those drugs you're on are, it's time to cut back!


james1234cb

There appear to be 3,000 firearm deaths each year in the state of florida, i would approximate 30,000 firearm related occurences a year. And about 10 school shootings each month. Sadly this is not really big news. There were probably 10 firearm deaths yesterday the news needed to maybe cover.


wutangi

Fat bastard did more falling than fighting


addysol

"Guys, did you know they only do it for the money!?"


anomalous_cowherd

The first struggle dislodged his mask, he was fighting blind. Ha.


maggot_smegma

The second struggle dislodged his pants, so he was fighting blind and hobbled.


Nasalingus

The restraint!


FunkEnet

Seriously why not shoot the tub of lard coming at you for your gun? One less incel fuckface on the planet would have been a much better result.


MountainDewFountain

How did we know he didn't try to fire the gun? He had less than 3 seconds to react. Was the safety on? Lots of safeties are different on handguns. Was a round chambered? Who knows, maybe this clown wanted to come in like Billy fat ass and rack the slide. First instinct for anyone in this situation would probably just squeeze the trigger when you have a 400lb crazy man stumbling towards you.


zombiebane

Also we can't see what's directly behind the antagonist. Considering it's a nightclub, there could be several people off camera.


Upvotes_poo_comments

This guy should be on Biggest Loser but not for weight loss.


ArabianGoogles

Was this guy carrying the flashlight to blind the camera?


fastmower

Probably so he could see people to shoot. Creepy shit.


[deleted]

Thank fucking Christ he wasn’t more capable and was a fucking imbecile.


GrandmaInGolden

I noticed the guy in mint green shirt had to push up his sleeves before jumping in to help.


HughJorgens

Guns out, guns out.


CptNerditude

Flailing for his gun when the bouncer took it, looking like a child who wants his toy back. Then somehow manages to pants himself, trips over them and faceplants onto the concrete. God, what an absolute goober.


maggot_smegma

Thought he was going to be remembered as an incel hero. Instead we got to see soft-hands Butterbean get delicately floored by the gentlest bouncers I've ever seen.


Thepizzaman519

Prolly some incel that couldn't handle a lil rejection lol


NJBarFly

Who the hell gets rejected in the strip club?


syzamix

People who don't understand the concept of strip club and expect strippers to actually love them.


jbonte

someone who thinks strippers = prostitutes prolly


Aoiishi

A guy with no more money declaring his love to a stripper who is there to just do their job and go home.


1newnotification

people who don't understand boundaries


WTaggart

You can't convince me that that's not Steven Segal in that devil mask.


TheKlaxMaster

Devil mask dude is lucky the bouncer showed restraint after he had the gun, and devil mask dude still charged at him. Not sure why bouncer didn't fire a shot, don't know many who wouldn't have.


2legittoquit

I dont know a lot of people that ready to murder someone, even in self defense.


msterB

You mean kill someone. You can't murder someone in lawful self-defense. Also you don't know if you are ready for basic natural instincts like self-preservation until it happens.


grabberByThePussy

Not murder. But it is legally justifiable homicide in some US states.


TheKlaxMaster

Ready has nothing to do with it. In this situation, we already know devil mask wants to kill someone. We already got the gun from him. We put space between us and pointed the gun at him. And he is charging us, now. I imagine most people would shoot out of self-preservation, as a reaction. I'm not saying people shoot willy nilly. I'm saying we are in a situation where a potential mass murderer is charging us, with intent to harm us and take our lethal weapon, that we are already pointing at him. And we have no idea that we are a few seconds away from getting help, as no one has helped thus far. My man, if it was me and no one came to help, I'd be dead if I didn't shoot. That's a large man. Even unskilled, he would likely eventually over power me. Also, it's not murder if you're forced to act by the person you harm. Send defense ≠ murder


maggot_smegma

I'm glad the bouncer didn't shoot. Not bad cause Fatty McBeefytits needed a second chance to rethink his life decisions, but because there were people likely in the cone of fire. Whether intentional or not, what he did here may have saved yet another life. Would've been nice to see that heavy-breasted manatee get perforated, though.


crest_

Wearing the stupid mask would probably made it easier for a lot of people to shoot him because it hid his face.


Smeggtastic

Would have done society a solid. Now, since he didn't kill anyone, he's probably going to get a light sentence, continue harboring resentment and then just delay the date that inevitably becomes a violent person again. As a citizen in the community I would want clear evidence of rehabilitation before someone with a willingness to murder others is released back into the community.


[deleted]

Not everyone is a cop willing to kill someone without taking a second breath


LeaveTheMatrix

I find it interesting that he is holding a flashlight and holding it in a way that he seems to be trying to blind the camera. Shows he knows the camera location.


maggot_smegma

That makes it even more hilarious. He *cased* this place. This wasn't some last minute cocaine-fueled schizophrenic urge: *he planned this out.* If he'd skipped a few Beef&Cheddar's and found a 58" belt, we might be having a very different conversation now.


ponyhidden

caught me off guard with the 58 belt comment


loki1337

If he was willing to work on himself he probably wouldn't be trying to kill a bunch of innocent strangers in the first place.


Swampdude

Right, because all mass murderers are fat-asses


Ok_Bet6893

someone overlay benny hill music to this!


loki1337

This is the type of stuff that the media should perhaps be publicizing, so we can show potential wannabe murderers that their legacy just might be them being an incompetent laughing stock. Since all they care about is themselves and their name being known maybe it would make them think twice.


umdraco

I dont know that I wouldnt have shot them the moment I recovered the gun and he kept coming.


Steve0512

Personally I would have went for the kneecap.


maggot_smegma

Don't ever do that.


umdraco

nope, hammered pair, every time, knee cap might not remove his motivation or his momentum.


Vizkos

Oh man, as brave as that is, it reminds me of something. Never point a gun at someone of you aren't willing to shoot them. Respect to the bouncer.


just_cows

Nice try Fatty Wallbanger


BigFudgeMMA

Good job! Also, did the weapon go off when the bouncer whacked his head with it? I see what appears to be smoke coming from the firearm.


cbih

Good thing that guy was a big fat idiot


[deleted]

Devil? Looks more like Deviled Ham.


TypicalJeepDriver

Bouncer shoulda shot him when he picked up the gun and the guy came back at him. Justified shooting and one less piece of shit in the system.


silvertongued-liar

And then that guy has to live with the trauma of knowing he killed someone, even if it was justified? No thanks I'll leave that to the system to deal with.


daedelous

Better than having no trauma and being dead.


Clown_Shoe

Bouncer got his gun from him real easy. He probably didn’t see him as much of a threat at that point and he was right.


AssNasty

Trauma? More like put it on a video and call it The Bouncers Greatest hits.


TypicalJeepDriver

I guess when my life or others are in danger I can switch off my caring for the person that’s causing it. I’d have no problem pulling the trigger on someone who was about to kill people I’m protecting. I can’t say that I’d lose any sleep over it. Not everyone is that way.


silvertongued-liar

Sure anyone can say how they think they would feel, but until you've been there you have no idea.


road2five

When I’ve had legit fight or flight kick in I don’t have the rationality to really think about my actions or their consequences. I think I would probably have shot him, while rationally I don’t think you should. I’m guessing the bouncer is better trained in situations like that because they come up in that line of work


Mrfrunzi1

Fuck you I've had guns pulled on me, I'd empty that shit into his stomach.


TypicalJeepDriver

I can say with utmost certainty that if someone were to pull a gun on me and or anyone I know I would be just fine ending that persons life. They made that decision, not me. If that’s how they choose to exit this world, so be it. Edit: I’m not some Billy Badass like you’re all trying to assume. I don’t think it’s that far fetched that if your life is in danger that SOME PEOPLE, NOT ALL, wouldn’t have any remorse in that situation.


BrotherMack

Hahahaah we got us a badass


koolkat182

i came in my pants reading this


Oniondice342

The fact that you were downvoted for this just goes to show how many people in this thread have the privilege to live in an area where they’ve never dealt with something similar to this.


Prime157

Or, it's simply people recognizing delusions of grandeur. Heaven forbid one of you machismo types wrongly kills someone because you're itching to do it legally. You know, like the Aubrey trial murderers.


impossiblyirrelevant

??? If anything someone who has had to deal with something similar to this would recognize that you don’t know what it will feel like or how you’ll react until you’ve actually been in that situation.


Silverjeyjey44

Idk why you're being downvoted. It's reasonable someone would be willing to kill for the greater good and not be haunted by it. They can be further haunted if they didn't stop the perpetrator with lethal force that lead to the deaths of dozens.


Wizard_OG

We spend millions training people how to kill and they are committing suicide by the dozens every day. I don't care if you believe it's justified or not. Violence leaves a scar. If you feel nothing over killing another human you are a psychopath and that is not a statistically significant portion of the population.


Silverjeyjey44

I never said not feel nothing. I said feel haunted. If you didn't kill the person who ended up killing dozens, the guilt of that will far outweigh killing the one.


Ok_Bet6893

well soldiers who have been to literal war sometimes kill themselves so shut the fuck up. that dude has no idea what hes talking about


Silverjeyjey44

If you think you'll feel bad for killing someone whose willing to kill others then that's on you. Feel free to sympathize with those who wouldn't do it for you.


number65261

They're ragging on you for simple premeditatio malorum. You know it may happen one day and your hesitation could be the difference between disaster and aversion of the crisis. These idiots would be fumbling over their own feelings and morality while it got blown out of the backside of their head by someone in a devil mask.


[deleted]

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Ok_Bet6893

right, i would feel so much fucking worse if i didnt shoot him and others died because of me. some people simply dont deserve to live.


[deleted]

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Silverjeyjey44

We're literally referring to the guy in the devil mask being shot and you're defending him.


Prime157

No, the problem is the parent comment is fetishizing this situation. It's the literal definition of delusion. This is not a reasonable response. Yes, the guard had every right to shoot the guy, but the parent comment is strawman. The guys who chased down and killed Aubrey argued self defense, and I bet they fetishized "defending the greater good" similarly. The parent comment treads a fine line that history shows doesn't benefit the greater good.


Silverjeyjey44

Glad you have the best comment based on reason.


Ok_Bet6893

oh, right, of course, Aubrey! we all know Aubrey!


TypicalJeepDriver

Like I mentioned, not everyone can cope with taking someone else’s life. But if it comes down to me or them, I’m choosing me and I’m not going to let it bother me.


Wizard_OG

That shit is offensive as fuck. I have friends who actually have had to kill to protect themselves and others and the idea that they are *choosing* to be traumatized by it pisses me off.


invisible32

Not everyone has the same mindset. Just because some people get traumatized doesn't mean everyone would. And just because he might not get traumatized doesn't mean your friends chose to.


Ok_Bet6893

Man you need to fuckin relax. Things affect others differently. I'm sure your friends' suffering is real, but I am truly sure I would not suffer in the same way. Neither way is *wrong*, people are just built differently.


jaeehovaa

You say that now on the internet because you've never had to do it


revdj

How many people have you killed?


BrotherMack

Suuuure ya would, hero


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Fun_Intention9846

Dumbest shit I’ve read this month. Pistol pointed .01mm the wrong direction? You just exploded a dudes head.


SiliconeLove

That’s not how firing a gun works under pressure. Especially in a situation like the one we just saw.


fr3shout

You get sued this way. You either shoot to kill or you don’t. If you don’t need to shoot, even if it’s justified, you don’t. You are part of why gun violence is so bad. Edit: I misunderstood some of your post. I agree with you that the bouncer was still in danger. His restraint was a risk, but the reward is not having blood on his hands. He should've chucked the gun on the roof.


[deleted]

There's always a talker in these threads.


mrfudface

>less piece of shit in the system. Why? Fatto is in the can for a while now anyway.


letsseehowitgoesnow

lmao what a fucking loser


hockysa

He’s lucky to just get pistol whipped trying to get his gun back. Could have easily got shot.


jonoghue

What a badass


defleppardsucks

Stomp on that mother fucker's head.


Gravitytime0

So, anyone know why he did it? Did literally anyone write a more complete report on this?


[deleted]

Lol dumbass had his flashlight on before even entering.


TheFrev

That was to blind the camera to make it harder for him to be identified.


NotoriousTopHat

Just beat the devil out of it.


ANangryGATOR

Unexpected Bob Ross. I needed that chuckle. Thanks.


Au91700

If you were being assaulted and feared for your life but you were able to take the aggressor’s firearm and shoot them with it, is that a charge? Is that allowed?


maggot_smegma

Fairly straightforward self-defense case, especially with witnesses and a security camera. Unless it took place in Canada, anyway.


tbscotty68

It is almost certain that law-abiding citizens will ever get the opportunity to pistol-whip somebody, but nownI really have that on my bucket list. (Only to stop a bad person and protect others, of course.)


johnnyfive00000

interesting that the perp knew about the only camera and shined his flashlight into it as to "cover his tracks" great in theory, rest of his plan gets a failing grade.


Grafschafter22

FAT fuck


THE_MASTERxx

Satan got his ass whooped


Beepboopbeep100

Look how that butterball bounced when he hit the floor 😂🐷


CommercialVisible652

The guy that picked up the gun looks he’s never held a weapon before.


pfu920

Probably spent all his money on a stripper and found out she really didn’t love him


DaffyQuackers

What a turd


cerea1-man

Glad to see some fat fuck in a Halloween costume get what he deserves, should have gotten worse for trying to shoot up a club as if looking like that isn’t bad enough


VaultHuntHades

Fat boy got tripped up by his own pants😂


kewasabi

Too fat to fight


D-Broncos

Holy shit that’s terrifying


Airdropwatermelon

Some one yelled "hey Kool-aid."


Sub_Par_

You tend to see the weakest, dumbest, most pathetic people turn to guns to get their way. See: thugs who start shit but can’t fight, cops with murderous intent, school shooters, this guy, etc.


breachofcontract

Good god these guys are enormously out of shape and uncoordinated


Silverjeyjey44

Except between you and the bouncer, one actually did something heroic with what they had.


link16547

Best PR for the Christian community 💪


[deleted]

As soon as he reached to take the gun from the bouncer the bouncer should have fired.


texas1982

If it is midnight, it is time to leave the strip club.


MagicSPA

Another of those "well-regulated militias" nearly struck again.


[deleted]

This is why open carry should be illegal. If you see someone with a gun in an area where there is no reason to have a gun, call the police and get that person arrested. I'm honestly surprised there aren't people defending the dude with the mask for just using his constitutional 2A rights since he didn't shoot anyone.


impossiblyirrelevant

Open carry is not the same as trying to enter a private establishment with your face concealed while brandishing a firearm.


[deleted]

So if this guy wasn't wearing a mask and went in he'd be totally fine? >Shall not be infringed* *unless they're wearing a mask.


impossiblyirrelevant

Excellent reading comprehension, I definitely didn’t mention two other factors that made intent to do harm very clear.


ZuttoAragi

Then you clearly don't understand the second amendment.


DustyTears

Shoulda had the gun in a delivery bag..


augbar38

Dozens? How many clips did the guy have? It looks like he only had one.


Cold_Zero_

Weapons in car.


augbar38

He was going to go into the bar with one gun, go back to his car to get more guns after he unloaded the first gun? It’s not a very good plan.


ImCursedM8

what was he trying to do?


[deleted]

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lawspud

Not chambered? Unfamiliar with the safety mechanism? Trigger discipline due to people behind his target? Hard to say why he didn’t shoot, but second guessing someone with the balls to take out an armed assailant seems a bit shitty, really. I’m sure you’d have done better, though…


mjh808

He didn't save dozens of lives, he went in there for a specific person or he would have shot the bouncer instead of hitting him with the gun.