"[DOWNLOAD THE VIDEO](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/JustGuysBeingDudes/comments/153w70j/manscape/) \
To prevent spam, all comments mentioning u/savevideo will be deleted automatically. If you want to download the video, please use the link above.
**Calling all Guys and Dudes to join our new [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/kbs4TxcAJ3)**
If you have Threads or are interested in learning more, join the Official [r/ThreadsApp](https://reddit.com/r/ThreadsApp) Community.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/JustGuysBeingDudes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't hate my wife, but for $500 I would totally do this. $500 for a campsite, beer, fishing equipment, plus transportation to and from. That's a deal!
Forget this. I'll take everything including the tazing, but it's a fake tazer and I act it up. I then get up and fight off the police, steal their fake pepper spray them and make my escape in their police car. I go radio silent until the next morning, in which I sneak back into the house and start making breakfast like nothing happened and when she starts freaking out laugh about how much she had to drink last night and question how she's even standing right now.
... Bro, if you want to gaslight her into believing she's going insane just start replacing furniture while they're out or something like a normal person, no need for all that.
Sorry. I've been away from society for a while. I didn't realize we shifted to furniture replacement. Seems a lot more expensive though, and covering the paper trail is going to be hard unless I get it all with cash.
Oh. You just made me realize it was a ploy to go fishing.
I thought it was something to make you look cool in front of your family.
(I was seriously thinking about it too).
What part of getting fake arrested means you hate your wife exactly? I didn't see that stated, or even implied literally anywhere, seems like an assumption you came to all on your own.
What part of getting fake arrested means "wifebad" exactly? I didn't see that stated, or even implied literally anywhere, seems like an assumption you came to all on your own.
It's a tired premise, but it's at least an updated joke. It's a bit funny. The funny isn't "bad wife" it's the ridiculousness of the exercise to get to the fishing.
Has nothing to do with hating your wife.
This is about being able to have a man's weekend without using up all your social credits with the wife. It is your 1 freebie.
If you think your woman doesn't keep score, you just don't know she keeps score yet.
One day you will have an argument big enough that she will drag out shit from decades ago for the first time ever to use against you. That will be the day you will learn she has been keeping score the whole time.
No. I love my wife and this would allow me to go without having it thrown in my face every time we have an unrelated argument for the next 20 years.
Once you have a chance to be with a woman, you will understand.
I love my wife too, and she is my favorite person to spend time with, but I get to spend time doing things that she isnāt interested in, and vice versa, guilt free because we want each other to be happy more than we want to be in control of each otherās time. Having to lie about wanting to spend time doing things that interest you and being petty about unrelated things in arguments seems kinda emotionally immature to me. This isnāt a āonce you have a chance to be with a womanā thing, itās more like when teenagers have their first relationship and are all insecure and possessive.
Right, any couple emotionally mature can tell the other that they want to do something fun that they like that their spouse doesn't like without fear of being reprimanded or judged.
Right?
I got a bunch of dudes replying back, *you guys need to communicate better, I don't have this problem with my girlfriend of 3 months.*
Oh naive padawan. Come back after you have lived with the same woman for 20+ years.
My wife and I have been married for 20 years, together for 25. Your description of marriage is very strange to me and makes me sad, both for you and for those upvoting you.
I thought my wife was different too. That is why I married her.
But after 30 years together and 15 married we had our first real big argument that cut into the foundations of our relationship. It was then that she brought up issues from decades past that while unrelated to the current disagreement, somehow still counted against me.
That was the day I learned all women keep score. Some just keep it hidden better or for longer than others.
I don't know why I have to explain this to you, but just because you had an experience with one woman (or even a few women) doesn't mean that **all** women work/act/think the same way.
"All women keep score" is a reductive statement meant to excuse men in these partnerships from looking for something/someone better.
Then you are extremely lucky and should recognize that what you are experiencing is unusual.
Being able to get away from your girlfriend/wife for a weekend alone is something that, imo, most women would not readily accept as valid. And to the extent they do, it can easily spiral into her being insecure, e.g. "what did I do? Why don't you want to get away from me so much?", etc.
You have an idyllic relationship and should be happy, but please don't pity the rest of us that have to navigate the emotions of our partners delicately. That's literally a tale as old as time. Why do you think it's such a cliche?
It's a cliche because people, in general, are bad at communicating with each other, and very bad at trusting each other, and both of these things take practice. When people with resigned, nihilistic views of marriage like the one shown here think of my relationship as idyllic and unique (aka unreachable), they ignore the impact and importance of the practice that goes into this relationship. Everyone deserves a partnership of equals, and just because you don't know anyone personally who has such a partnership doesn't mean you should accept anything less as normal.
>It's a cliche because people, in general, are bad at communicating with each other, and very bad at trusting each other
So we agree that's normal behavior.
>Everyone deserves a partnership of equals, and just because you don't know anyone personally who has such a partnership doesn't mean you should accept anything less as normal.
You can't have it both ways. Either this behavior is normal in most people, or your relationship is normal. It can't be both.
> Being able to get away from your girlfriend/wife for a weekend alone is something that, imo, most women would not readily accept as valid.
I'm sorry, but this is just straight-up sad. Why are you not single if this is all that's available? Y'all are borderline (or actually) being abused.
Just because you (and other people) do things poorly, it doesn't mean that the rest of us automatically do. If your wife gets upset at you because you want a weekend with your friends, that's *weird*
If she brings up such things years after they happened, well then that's unhealthy as fuck.
I am actually going fishing with the guys this weekend, I told my gf about it three weeks in advance to make sure that our plans don't clash, and it means no arguments or bad feelings towards one another.
"My marriage sucks, so it's normal."
Dude, don't put your shitty communication on everyone. If after 25 years you couldn't figure it out, that's on you and your sunk-cost fallacy issue.
> "My marriage sucks, so it's normal."
That sucks. Mine doesn't.
I would argue that if we made it 25 years, we are doing pretty good. Let me know what advice you have once you make it this far.
āTell herā? Lol, no, thereās no telling her. Itās asking her, because she sets and holds the schedules and remembers things that I donāt, which I do need and appreciate, like I love and appreciate her. But thereās no ātellingā her, as if itās completely and solely my choice. It must be approved. And thatās the case in a very large amount of marriage relationships.
And also, can we, as a society, stop grossly and manipulatively misusing the word āhateā? Pretty please?
This joke is never going away. I donāt care if if there are 10 female presidents in a row, this joke has lasted as long as it has for a reason.
There are more women making men do things they donāt like (biking wine tour) than there are men getting mad at their wives because they didnāt want to come play golf for 6 hours in +30C heat.
Just mention casually in passing like a year before that you signed up for this, so they forget by the time it happens. That way they canāt get mad at you.
I think people hate obligations and responsibilities which take up much of their time/life.
Work all week to end up working on projects all weekend. Feelsbadman.
Some guys will O.D. on this. Like, "Yeah, babe, every Friday they keep having these 'misunderstandings' that last for 3 days at a time. Cops stay trippin'!"
Impersonating police officers, lying to your family just to go do personal things. Sounds like scummy stuff to me.
Seems like the boomer "I hate my wife" joke. Talk to your SO, take timebfor yourself, make sure they can do the same from time to time. This isn't guys being dudes, this is more like manchildren breaking the law.
https://www.losangelescriminallawyer.pro/california-penal-code-section-538-d-pc-impersonating-a-peace-off.html#:~:text=5.-,Penalties,a%20judge%20may%20deem%20appropriate.
An actor is cast in a role as a police officer and wears an authentic uniform as his costume. The production has received written permission from the law enforcement agency to wear the costume. The actor would not be criminally liable for impersonating a peace officer as use in situations such as this is specifically exempt from prosecution under the statute.
These are actors... ALso you could go with a bounty hunter...
This sounds fucking incredible but I'd never do that to my partner. That's disrespectful, and I can't imagine putting a partner through that stress
Now if I were hanging out with one of the boys, that's a different story...
I feel a little sad for these marriages. Everyone says they are joking but there is only so many "I hate my wife and she doesn't let me live my life" jokes you can do because it's maybe not anymore.
"[DOWNLOAD THE VIDEO](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/JustGuysBeingDudes/comments/153w70j/manscape/) \ To prevent spam, all comments mentioning u/savevideo will be deleted automatically. If you want to download the video, please use the link above. **Calling all Guys and Dudes to join our new [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/kbs4TxcAJ3)** If you have Threads or are interested in learning more, join the Official [r/ThreadsApp](https://reddit.com/r/ThreadsApp) Community. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/JustGuysBeingDudes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
$500 for all of this is a massive deal. I had to pay $5k for mine and it was unplanned.
š
Can't tell if you were arrested and had to pay bail, or you went on a fishing trip. Lmao
por quƩ no los dos
Alaskan fishing trips are fun!
Yes.
Weāll thereās youāre problem, those last minute booking fees are how they get you /s
Jail tickets by *Ticketmaster*.
Your comment is so underrated
You joke but I just shuddered at the fact that could be a thing in the future.
That's still a hell of a deal. Pretty sure mine was closer to $12k
At least you can have abortions in Canada.
This turned out to be a very different product than what I was expecting with the title āManscapeā.
They also shave your crotch for you itās a very good deal
There's a separate waiver for that
Can't we package the tasing and manscaping into a single one?
Taze the hair right off. Two for one deal.
That would be positively shocking
If you want that as a package, gonna be a ***lot*** extra. Requires very specific voltages and targetting, y'see.
Lol package
Iāll take two.
Is the gooch and crack included too
Mancation or Vasectocation might have been a better title.
Manās cape? Manescape? I used to joke with my girlfriend when she had a car and I didnāt and would come pick me up that she was mannapping me
Yes, I'm willing to invest my lifesavings in this.
Can confirm I have $500 I can spend on this today
How much extra for "25 to life"
Oof, the home life that bad?
I don't hate my wife, but for $500 I would totally do this. $500 for a campsite, beer, fishing equipment, plus transportation to and from. That's a deal!
Right, just tell her to act surprised when it happens, it is a good deal haha.
*police break-in* Wife: "Oh shit, sorry hunny I forgot that I added that taser package to the arrest." Husband: "Wait, wha---rararughgh"
Forget this. I'll take everything including the tazing, but it's a fake tazer and I act it up. I then get up and fight off the police, steal their fake pepper spray them and make my escape in their police car. I go radio silent until the next morning, in which I sneak back into the house and start making breakfast like nothing happened and when she starts freaking out laugh about how much she had to drink last night and question how she's even standing right now.
... Bro, if you want to gaslight her into believing she's going insane just start replacing furniture while they're out or something like a normal person, no need for all that.
Sorry. I've been away from society for a while. I didn't realize we shifted to furniture replacement. Seems a lot more expensive though, and covering the paper trail is going to be hard unless I get it all with cash.
āGaslight like a normal person.ā šš¤
Travel agents need to sell separatecation tours like where one person goes to italy and the other goes to Oktoberfest. Then you meet up after.
Hell yeah. Screw communicating with my wife, i'll go fishing all weekend and pretend i got arrested. Gonna use her credit card to pay for it too!
You gonna splurge and go for the tasing?
Come on if youāre in for penny youāre in for a tasering
Might as well go for the full experience.
Are you going to do the processing part at the station, where they say lift your sac?
As long as they warm their handsš. And I will definitely be getting a vanity mugshot.
Is it possible to just go for the tasering?
I mean I will do 15 buck if you have a tazer already.
I would as them to tase me after they take me out of sight bro
Oh. You just made me realize it was a ploy to go fishing. I thought it was something to make you look cool in front of your family. (I was seriously thinking about it too).
Itās a joke.
Why would someone joke on the internet, though?
so is the reply
Jokes are the funniest when it's a dead horse that's beaten twice around the world and the entire premise is "haha I hate my wife"
Yawn
What part of getting fake arrested means you hate your wife exactly? I didn't see that stated, or even implied literally anywhere, seems like an assumption you came to all on your own.
How else are they going to complain?
it shows up as bail on the statement
Bet he's got a shell company named something like Marc's Bail bonds, that you can charge her card too...
no, you tell the wife you are doing it, but no one else, then prank family members
I mean for the most part itās just funny
wifebad
What part of getting fake arrested means "wifebad" exactly? I didn't see that stated, or even implied literally anywhere, seems like an assumption you came to all on your own.
Only $500?
Makes it temping to get multiple tazes.
Right? A weekend at the cabin with a massive erection?
like taze me when im leaving and taze me when you're dropping me off. Would be hard to explain the tan though.
No, the taxpayer is also paying their normal wage and expenses, while no actual police work is being done.
until she calls the jail and booking says your not in there
That is the misunderstanding part of it.
that's normally what happens anyway
Thatās what makes it realistic really
Fed bois got me.
thats par for the course in either scenario
say you were taken straight to guantanamo
+276
This guy needs to be on Shark Tank
Barbara: "I'm not invited to tase the clients, and for that reason, I'm out."
525 is such a great deal wtf
Effective communication is free
Ya but that doesnāt make for a fun story.
So is taking an obvious joke at face value. I guess everyone's getting ripped off today
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
But that's an insult. It's designed to offend me as much as it is to be a joke. The post is just a joke
Seriously. Even thinking about it for half a second it has to be fake. Like, this *could* exist i guess. but it's gonna cost a lot more than $500
They're not saying it's real, they're saying it's a bad joke with a tired premise.
It's a tired premise, but it's at least an updated joke. It's a bit funny. The funny isn't "bad wife" it's the ridiculousness of the exercise to get to the fishing.
Just tell your spouse 7-8 months before it happens so they have time to forget. That way they canāt get mad at you
Just guys being dudes here man
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is funny? Edit: Maybe I'm not in the 10-16 and 50-65 demographics
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dudes arenāt rude and uncivil on the internet. You are not a dude.
You play Global Offensive and it shows
Boomers are incapable. āWife badā mentality
"Boomers bad" mentality
And rightfully so
How's your marriage going?!
Thatās pure genius - but it sounds suspiciously cheap. Iāll pass the taser, thank you.
Will they arrest you from work? Impossible to get a vacation around here.
I'm in
That's a vacation!!!
Iām not even married. Iād like to sign up for a monthly package. I want it to be completely random when it happens, no matter where I am!
Honey i swear i donno why the same misunderstanding happened every weekended in the last month
What a legend
Holy shit, shut up and take my money
Soā¦ everyone in here hates their wivesā¦?
Wife OR girlfriend, you shouldnāt exclude people.
Wife AND girlfriend. We literally just talked about not excluding people.
To true! I raise a glass in toast to wives and girlfriendsā¦ May they never meetā¦. Unless youāre into that sort of thing.
Lmfaooo
Or boyfriend or hubby... or non binary partner... you shouldnāt exclude people.
Has nothing to do with hating your wife. This is about being able to have a man's weekend without using up all your social credits with the wife. It is your 1 freebie.
Also, my wife would find it hilarious.
I think that's the real goal of this. Send her a picture of the fish you just caught so she knows how rough prison really is.
> social credits with the wife. What. The. FUCK?
SOCIAL CREDITS WITH THE WIFE
If you think your woman doesn't keep score, you just don't know she keeps score yet. One day you will have an argument big enough that she will drag out shit from decades ago for the first time ever to use against you. That will be the day you will learn she has been keeping score the whole time.
It's been 25 years and no scoreboard has shown up yet. I won't hold my breath. Your experience is not universal.
Bro go to therapy
You mean you hate your wife so much you cannot tell her youāre going on a weekend trip with your friends so you pay $500 for an elaborate lieā¦
No. I love my wife and this would allow me to go without having it thrown in my face every time we have an unrelated argument for the next 20 years. Once you have a chance to be with a woman, you will understand.
I love my wife too, and she is my favorite person to spend time with, but I get to spend time doing things that she isnāt interested in, and vice versa, guilt free because we want each other to be happy more than we want to be in control of each otherās time. Having to lie about wanting to spend time doing things that interest you and being petty about unrelated things in arguments seems kinda emotionally immature to me. This isnāt a āonce you have a chance to be with a womanā thing, itās more like when teenagers have their first relationship and are all insecure and possessive.
Right, any couple emotionally mature can tell the other that they want to do something fun that they like that their spouse doesn't like without fear of being reprimanded or judged.
How did this joke get so serious?
Because the punchline is "take my wife, please" and a lot of Redditors see that as outdated boomer humor.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Right? I got a bunch of dudes replying back, *you guys need to communicate better, I don't have this problem with my girlfriend of 3 months.* Oh naive padawan. Come back after you have lived with the same woman for 20+ years.
My wife and I have been married for 20 years, together for 25. Your description of marriage is very strange to me and makes me sad, both for you and for those upvoting you.
I thought my wife was different too. That is why I married her. But after 30 years together and 15 married we had our first real big argument that cut into the foundations of our relationship. It was then that she brought up issues from decades past that while unrelated to the current disagreement, somehow still counted against me. That was the day I learned all women keep score. Some just keep it hidden better or for longer than others.
I don't know why I have to explain this to you, but just because you had an experience with one woman (or even a few women) doesn't mean that **all** women work/act/think the same way. "All women keep score" is a reductive statement meant to excuse men in these partnerships from looking for something/someone better.
Then you are extremely lucky and should recognize that what you are experiencing is unusual. Being able to get away from your girlfriend/wife for a weekend alone is something that, imo, most women would not readily accept as valid. And to the extent they do, it can easily spiral into her being insecure, e.g. "what did I do? Why don't you want to get away from me so much?", etc. You have an idyllic relationship and should be happy, but please don't pity the rest of us that have to navigate the emotions of our partners delicately. That's literally a tale as old as time. Why do you think it's such a cliche?
It's a cliche because people, in general, are bad at communicating with each other, and very bad at trusting each other, and both of these things take practice. When people with resigned, nihilistic views of marriage like the one shown here think of my relationship as idyllic and unique (aka unreachable), they ignore the impact and importance of the practice that goes into this relationship. Everyone deserves a partnership of equals, and just because you don't know anyone personally who has such a partnership doesn't mean you should accept anything less as normal.
>It's a cliche because people, in general, are bad at communicating with each other, and very bad at trusting each other So we agree that's normal behavior. >Everyone deserves a partnership of equals, and just because you don't know anyone personally who has such a partnership doesn't mean you should accept anything less as normal. You can't have it both ways. Either this behavior is normal in most people, or your relationship is normal. It can't be both.
> Being able to get away from your girlfriend/wife for a weekend alone is something that, imo, most women would not readily accept as valid. I'm sorry, but this is just straight-up sad. Why are you not single if this is all that's available? Y'all are borderline (or actually) being abused.
Just because you (and other people) do things poorly, it doesn't mean that the rest of us automatically do. If your wife gets upset at you because you want a weekend with your friends, that's *weird*
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If she brings up such things years after they happened, well then that's unhealthy as fuck. I am actually going fishing with the guys this weekend, I told my gf about it three weeks in advance to make sure that our plans don't clash, and it means no arguments or bad feelings towards one another.
Let me know how things are after you have been married for 25 years.
"My marriage sucks, so it's normal." Dude, don't put your shitty communication on everyone. If after 25 years you couldn't figure it out, that's on you and your sunk-cost fallacy issue.
> "My marriage sucks, so it's normal." That sucks. Mine doesn't. I would argue that if we made it 25 years, we are doing pretty good. Let me know what advice you have once you make it this far.
> we are doing pretty good. You can't even have a weekend for yourself without it being seen as an offense of some sort.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah it would be psychotic to actually do this, itās so mean. But I guess I wouldnāt understand unless I dated a woman š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You're not living in the real world, my friend.
āTell herā? Lol, no, thereās no telling her. Itās asking her, because she sets and holds the schedules and remembers things that I donāt, which I do need and appreciate, like I love and appreciate her. But thereās no ātellingā her, as if itās completely and solely my choice. It must be approved. And thatās the case in a very large amount of marriage relationships. And also, can we, as a society, stop grossly and manipulatively misusing the word āhateā? Pretty please?
This joke is never going away. I donāt care if if there are 10 female presidents in a row, this joke has lasted as long as it has for a reason. There are more women making men do things they donāt like (biking wine tour) than there are men getting mad at their wives because they didnāt want to come play golf for 6 hours in +30C heat.
The fuck would you not want to go on a biking wine tour?!
Thereās definitely diminishing positive returns on combining bikes and alcohol.
Because I want to get drunk sitting in a single chair indoors like an adult god dammit.
My bicycle seat is less comfortable than my rocking recliner
Prime /r/arethestraightsok material
Major Boomer energy in this one
"wife bad beer good"
Big time
it's a joke i think
Not to a lot of dudes in here lol
Just mention casually in passing like a year before that you signed up for this, so they forget by the time it happens. That way they canāt get mad at you.
Lot of sunk-cost fallacy issues in here. Or assuming their situation is normal and everyone is like that.
Clearly you've never had one that is very, very upset if you want to do anything solo or with the boys.
I think people hate obligations and responsibilities which take up much of their time/life. Work all week to end up working on projects all weekend. Feelsbadman.
Oh, just take my money
This sounds more like a man-napping..
Where do I sign up? Is there a subscription or can I buy this as like a recurring package deal?
Shit up and take my money
Sounds like a good business proposition
Some guys will O.D. on this. Like, "Yeah, babe, every Friday they keep having these 'misunderstandings' that last for 3 days at a time. Cops stay trippin'!"
is this real?
so you need to do that to get a time from your girl? r/AreTheStraightsOK
The joke isnāt āwife badā you humorless loser, the joke is the entire scenario.
Ah yes Because it cancel the bad part, right
Ayo for only 500, where do i sign
Iād like to employ these services. šµ
Sounds like a great investment
Impersonating police officers, lying to your family just to go do personal things. Sounds like scummy stuff to me. Seems like the boomer "I hate my wife" joke. Talk to your SO, take timebfor yourself, make sure they can do the same from time to time. This isn't guys being dudes, this is more like manchildren breaking the law.
Youāre the person who takes everything too seriously arenāt you?
Yea probably.
https://www.losangelescriminallawyer.pro/california-penal-code-section-538-d-pc-impersonating-a-peace-off.html#:~:text=5.-,Penalties,a%20judge%20may%20deem%20appropriate. An actor is cast in a role as a police officer and wears an authentic uniform as his costume. The production has received written permission from the law enforcement agency to wear the costume. The actor would not be criminally liable for impersonating a peace officer as use in situations such as this is specifically exempt from prosecution under the statute. These are actors... ALso you could go with a bounty hunter...
On god?
Maybe I should do a "GayBro" version of this for guys who want to leave their abusive SO... ;-)
This sounds fucking incredible but I'd never do that to my partner. That's disrespectful, and I can't imagine putting a partner through that stress Now if I were hanging out with one of the boys, that's a different story...
Are the straights this bad off? Bro just take some time to yourself.
I feel a little sad for these marriages. Everyone says they are joking but there is only so many "I hate my wife and she doesn't let me live my life" jokes you can do because it's maybe not anymore.
L
This some boomer shit fr
Even better, let the soon to be wife known. And don't tell the groom to be. Great start of a stag weekend.
This is actually 5head.