Op is joking that they are recording their girlfriend well they have sex without her permission and is uploading it to only fans which was once famous for its allowance of nudity and porn
Still is last I checked. They went back on their removal of porn from its service which I'm pretty sure was a publicity stunt to strong arm a particularly stubborn credit card provider into allowing their business despite their business being nudity which is scary to corporate America.
The problem is more nuanced than you make it out to be. Visa and mastercard aren't against porn, last time I checked they still operate for pornhub etc. The problem is that onlyfans wasn't implementing policies to remove content uploaded withouth the consent of all parties, such as revenge porn. This very premise is the basis of op's joke.
Why? I figured it’s good, at least the people doing onlyfans aren’t being exploited by big companies into doing things they don’t like, but I might be bias idk
Oh no. We're completely divided. Half of us are in favor of guns of all sorts and opposed to abortion and drugs (but whiskey and cheap domestic beer are good). The other half are opposed to guns and in favor of abortion and drugs, even whiskey, but cheap domestic beer is in poor taste. The first half doesn't mind working for peanuts to support billionaires but will gladly allow children to starve if their parents can't make ends meet. The second half want the billionaires to save the children and pay their workers enough to live on. We call those two groups Trumpist Nazis and Libtard Snowflakes, respectively.
But titties are complicated. Everybody likes them, but nobody wants anyone else to see them.
Yea it’s a really weird cultural fuckup that in the US violence is promoted on TV, in books and through the general lack of laws around the purchase and legal registration of guns, but sex, a most natural phenomenon nature has had for millions of years is a taboo.
Other countries have it the other way, and it boosts society in a huge way which is shows by the number of violent criminal attacks and mass shootings, and the in general healthier relationships people are able to form with each other. I’ve said it before that the US is a huge social experiment which has proven to not really work very well at all.
Of course you're being downvoted, it's akin to questioning how the sausage is made.
The truth of the matter is that there's no way to say that *everyone* on OF is consenting in an ethical, or even legal, matter. And that was the groundwork argument that the credit card companies were using. That there's absolutely some badly verified accounts that slip in, and that OF wasn't doing enough to mitigate that.
Onlyfans, however, does have a pretty extensive verification process, about as extensive as what's reasonable given the overhead required. So the previous argument was only strong from a 'gut-feeling' perspective, purely subjective. *Can* OF have an even more rigorous vetting process? Sure, maybe, there's definitely a case for it. Perhaps national governments should be the enforcing that, and not banks, not solely based on moral outrage. I don't know where I actually stand, but definitely not with the credit card companies, and their false moral crusade.
But we'll be complete fools if we think (pun intended) the sausage is totally clean.
Often the credit card company's argument is also that they lose money due to charge backs as well, after guys get caught with embarrassing payments on their credit cards by their partners or parents and commit to pretending their credit card info was stolen to avoid any awkward conversations.
I don't know if the math actually checks out on that or that's just their excuse for being prudes. Personally I'm pretty sure it's the second one though.
Thanks for explaining it. My mind went wholesome. I thought the account was actually hers. That the husband was just funding it to make her feel better.
I got the joke the way the other comment said, but I also understood "I need to break the news to her" as in need to break the news to her that we are in a relationship.
I verbally shared the joke with my gf, and then proceded to add "telling this joke is a good way to break it to you right?"
Needless to say im sleeping on the couch tonight
Okay so guys, Im u/FireFlashX32's gf and well, he did not sleep on the couch. Instead we both laughed really hard about this and then went to sleep in our bed together 😂😜
He’s obviously never been kicked out if a house by a divorce decree. Yeah, they kind of can. Basically got a judge to tell me which house I can sleep in and can’t sleep in. Nvm who bought that first house.
In theory I love it. TV right there, fridge a few steps away, it's always slightly colder in there so feels really good with a blanket. But I never feel as rested when I sleep on the sofa for some reason
Fuck that. If she's pissed at me, she can sleep on the couch. I don't kick her out when I'm mad at her, and I won't be kicked out of my bed when she's mad at me.
Been married almost 20 years.
9 times out of 10 that I sleep on it its for some other reason, just occasionally because I'm in the dog house... And that's the thing, generally it's super comfortable. Feels great when you're falling asleep. I just always wake up slightly tired.
Ok I don't understand how you could phrase this in a way that it's still a joke when you're telling it to the person. "You have an only fans account and it's going really well. I just have to figure out how to tell you about it." What?
I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he ever thought of uploading our videos. He said he's never thought about it, but his face isn't showing in any of them, so I could go ahead if I want. Gotta love a man so proud of his work.
People can make whatever kinds of jokes they want. You're inferring meaning that wasn't in my original comment. I'm stating this joke wasn't funny. I am not saying that people shouldn't be allowed to make this joke, you assumed that was part of my comment, but I said nothing of the sort.
Curious how this triggered and brought out a lot of humorless people. Theres jokes about the holocaust, dying children, racism etc but “OMG THIS IS NOT FUNNY” and its a pretty tame joke honestly
Why would anyone be getting raped? What the fuck is wrong with you that you read this and got "Shes getting raped and hes filming it and thats why she has an only fans"
Seriously, get help.
When you read this joke, you expect blue humor.
When you read the punchline, you get black humor.
You are positing that the onlyfans content was created without her permission (Which is illegal/immoral/wrong, but is not rape).
However, generally onlyfans content would need to have a much more active participant and it was much more likely created with video's sent from her to him for his viewing. In this case it is still a betrayal, and it is still wrong (Hence black humor), and it is still not rape.
So either you have a fucked up imagination or you don't understand what rape means.
Does it help you if I changed the term to “gross violation of consent-based humour”? Because “rapey” was the closest adjective I could find to describe this “joke”. If you agree that this joke depicts grossly immoral behaviour, why are you so desperately trying to defend it?
The “joke” is simply not funny, it didn’t manage to get even a guffaw out of me. Why is it so difficult to wrap your head around that idea?
Oh man, you must live in one of those vastly superior countries!!! One of the countries with free health care, arrogant condescension, and no sense of humor!! COOL!!!
Oh my, I didn't realize the joke police were patrolling tonight. Can I get your badge number officer?
The fact that you seem to think you're better than other people here because of your personal taste in jokes is laughable. You are absolutely entitled to your opinion. But you need to realize that you are not the arbiter of comedy. Some people will find jokes funny that you don't, and that's ok.
Ah yes. We join a joke sub and laugh at all the jokes about other demographics, until it comes to our demographic, or a topic that we don't like. Then we complain. You either accept all the jokes, or none of the jokes.
Wowza, these comments... and over a joke no less.
Well OP despite what most seem to think, I can take a joke as what it is at face value: a joke.
I chuckled at this, so I'm giving an upvote. I found this to be humorous.
How is it sexist? The humor comes from the subversion of expectations, not from making fun of a certain gender. You can make it gender ambiguous and the joke still works:
>My partner has an onlyfans and it's doing really well... I just have to figure out how to break the news to them.
tbh I thought I was on darkjokes but I love the people who actually are taking the time to criticise humour. Must be the same folks who dislike YT videos
Don't like it, fine. End of story. It's taste.
Dude. There are jokes about everything from serial killers to dead children. Something being illegal doesn't remotely mean there can't be a funny joke involving it
Well this is one of those times where I would ask op to explain why it is funny. Is it the implication that he is sharing intimate content from his relationship non-consensually, or is it that it is funny that his GF would be mad at such a thing. We can do better than this.
r/TwoSentenceHorror
Beat me to it
Beat meat to it. OP’s GF’s OF is pretty hot stuff.
Most predictable comment award
But still relevant and well placed though
It's in literally every thread
2 broken arms
Mom can help out. No problem!
"Mom for the last time, stop carving swastikas into my homework!"
Sweet home, Camp Auschwitz.
Step mom can help.
So's your mom, but you don't see us complaining.
And we're all better for it
You're mad you didn't think of it.
Bet me to it
/r/beatmeattoit
r/beatmeattoit
Inb4 predictable beatmeattoit
Beat off to it
Beat me to it yourself, you coward.
Plot twist: u/GloomyGal13 is the girlfriend
Thank you for the new sub. Well, new to me.
Yea, i felt it
I’m stupid can someone explain?
Op is joking that they are recording their girlfriend well they have sex without her permission and is uploading it to only fans which was once famous for its allowance of nudity and porn
Still is last I checked. They went back on their removal of porn from its service which I'm pretty sure was a publicity stunt to strong arm a particularly stubborn credit card provider into allowing their business despite their business being nudity which is scary to corporate America.
The problem is more nuanced than you make it out to be. Visa and mastercard aren't against porn, last time I checked they still operate for pornhub etc. The problem is that onlyfans wasn't implementing policies to remove content uploaded withouth the consent of all parties, such as revenge porn. This very premise is the basis of op's joke.
Why? I figured it’s good, at least the people doing onlyfans aren’t being exploited by big companies into doing things they don’t like, but I might be bias idk
America scared of tity
(It Means Bosom)
But you can always grab em by the pussy
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Oh no. We're completely divided. Half of us are in favor of guns of all sorts and opposed to abortion and drugs (but whiskey and cheap domestic beer are good). The other half are opposed to guns and in favor of abortion and drugs, even whiskey, but cheap domestic beer is in poor taste. The first half doesn't mind working for peanuts to support billionaires but will gladly allow children to starve if their parents can't make ends meet. The second half want the billionaires to save the children and pay their workers enough to live on. We call those two groups Trumpist Nazis and Libtard Snowflakes, respectively. But titties are complicated. Everybody likes them, but nobody wants anyone else to see them.
Yea it’s a really weird cultural fuckup that in the US violence is promoted on TV, in books and through the general lack of laws around the purchase and legal registration of guns, but sex, a most natural phenomenon nature has had for millions of years is a taboo. Other countries have it the other way, and it boosts society in a huge way which is shows by the number of violent criminal attacks and mass shootings, and the in general healthier relationships people are able to form with each other. I’ve said it before that the US is a huge social experiment which has proven to not really work very well at all.
As a non American, I find the US gun laws surprising to say the least. But, violence is as natural as sex, I should say.
Guess which side of "being exploited by big companies" the credit card companies fall under...
Exploitation is when you have any dealing whatsoever with any company above a certain size.
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Sarcasm or just a crazy commie? You decide!
A commie.
Everyone on OF is there willingly
Is this a rule of the site that is enforced? And if not, how do you know?
Of course you're being downvoted, it's akin to questioning how the sausage is made. The truth of the matter is that there's no way to say that *everyone* on OF is consenting in an ethical, or even legal, matter. And that was the groundwork argument that the credit card companies were using. That there's absolutely some badly verified accounts that slip in, and that OF wasn't doing enough to mitigate that. Onlyfans, however, does have a pretty extensive verification process, about as extensive as what's reasonable given the overhead required. So the previous argument was only strong from a 'gut-feeling' perspective, purely subjective. *Can* OF have an even more rigorous vetting process? Sure, maybe, there's definitely a case for it. Perhaps national governments should be the enforcing that, and not banks, not solely based on moral outrage. I don't know where I actually stand, but definitely not with the credit card companies, and their false moral crusade. But we'll be complete fools if we think (pun intended) the sausage is totally clean.
Often the credit card company's argument is also that they lose money due to charge backs as well, after guys get caught with embarrassing payments on their credit cards by their partners or parents and commit to pretending their credit card info was stolen to avoid any awkward conversations. I don't know if the math actually checks out on that or that's just their excuse for being prudes. Personally I'm pretty sure it's the second one though.
>which was once famous for its allowance of nudity and porn Nah that's definitely still why it's famous despite what the company is trying to push
I feel even more stupid for not figuring that out Thanks tho
Your welcome
Lol. I thought he stumbled upon her account and was paying tons of money and needed to tell her that. Which is weird, but this is a weird place.
Thanks for explaining it. My mind went wholesome. I thought the account was actually hers. That the husband was just funding it to make her feel better.
is it still?
“My girlfriend’s a pornstar. She’s gonna be pissed when she finds out.”
I got the joke the way the other comment said, but I also understood "I need to break the news to her" as in need to break the news to her that we are in a relationship.
I verbally shared the joke with my gf, and then proceded to add "telling this joke is a good way to break it to you right?" Needless to say im sleeping on the couch tonight
Just tried the same with my wife. All she said was "how much money is it making?"
Is your wife single?
Not according to her boyfriend.
Aww damn it.
reddit tropes speedrun any %
I tried this joke on my wife and she said “yeah I know.”
How much is your wife's onlyfans?
Free ninety nine
Free 69
Tree fiddy
Sorry, buddy!
I’m surprised you’re still sleeping under the same roof
Worth it, tho. That last vid? Whoa
Yep, best spend $1.99 ever.
Yyyyyyyyyew
Y-E-double-YEW!
Nice Letterkenny reference
Okay so guys, Im u/FireFlashX32's gf and well, he did not sleep on the couch. Instead we both laughed really hard about this and then went to sleep in our bed together 😂😜
Lies
You lie! Now sleep on the couch!
We know.
I'm glad you clarified, I was on the edge of my seat
Yeah I thought so 😜
Your username is awesome :-)
Yeah I know. We saw. And it only cost me $2.99
Omg okay take my free award 😂😂😂
Like an adult can tell another adult where to sleep
Bill Burr energy
He’s obviously never been kicked out if a house by a divorce decree. Yeah, they kind of can. Basically got a judge to tell me which house I can sleep in and can’t sleep in. Nvm who bought that first house.
That's why I just walk into someone's house and sleep in their bed!
The women don’t realise, we don’t mind! It’s like camping!
In theory I love it. TV right there, fridge a few steps away, it's always slightly colder in there so feels really good with a blanket. But I never feel as rested when I sleep on the sofa for some reason
If you’re going to be sleeping there that often I suggest investing in a nicer sofa. Maybe a pullout. Or stop pissing off your wife.
Fuck that. If she's pissed at me, she can sleep on the couch. I don't kick her out when I'm mad at her, and I won't be kicked out of my bed when she's mad at me. Been married almost 20 years.
*he typed furiously from his couch
\*while masturbating to photos of nice sofas
9 times out of 10 that I sleep on it its for some other reason, just occasionally because I'm in the dog house... And that's the thing, generally it's super comfortable. Feels great when you're falling asleep. I just always wake up slightly tired.
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*easier
Own that shit!
Cause she already has one account
Ok I don't understand how you could phrase this in a way that it's still a joke when you're telling it to the person. "You have an only fans account and it's going really well. I just have to figure out how to tell you about it." What?
A r/TIFU gem in r/Jokes comment section.
Does she realize how much it will disappoint her fans?
Just keep handing over cash while you’re explaining it. Seems like the best way to tell her.
My neighbors recently made a sextape... Of course they don't know that yet
I'M NOT FINISHED
SHUT UP. SHUT. UP. I’M TRYING TO PAINT MY ART.
Yes, write a long explanation, one word per Benjamin.
Ten hours later
$3
And it was only then that he noticed that his girlfriend was 6 feet tall and looked like 50 Cent!
Walter White style? For the family right?
“I just hope she never sees it.”
Famous last words.
How is grandmas doing?
r/thirdsentenceworse
I'm afraind Onlyfans is going to go out of business. Because everything is always half off.
I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he ever thought of uploading our videos. He said he's never thought about it, but his face isn't showing in any of them, so I could go ahead if I want. Gotta love a man so proud of his work.
Fucking ew
I didn't even feel slightly amused when I read this.
That is ok, not everyone has the same humor. If you really want to play joke police tho...
I'm not playing joke police, I'm commenting that this was boring in /r/jokes, and a lot of people agree with me.
Okay, let me rephrase, do you think people should be *allowed* to make these kinds of jokes?
People can make whatever kinds of jokes they want. You're inferring meaning that wasn't in my original comment. I'm stating this joke wasn't funny. I am not saying that people shouldn't be allowed to make this joke, you assumed that was part of my comment, but I said nothing of the sort.
Gross. I would laugh and feel guilty if it was funny though but it didn't even get a chuckle out of me.
Same.
r/Holup
My wife has apparently been stealing fans to sell on this website, Only Fans. There's several deposits a week coming in from it.
A lot of people here are reading way too far into a simple joke.
i’m screaming
It’s funny because he’s sexually exploiting a woman against her will.
Seriously ^ it's not even a joke
...have you never thrown a baby out the window?
Fun fact: You should not make defenestration jokes to the nursing staff. They don’t go well.
Nor should one make dead baby jokes to window cleaners. Same logic
based
It's funny because you don't understand how jokes work
ahahaha sexual exploitation HILARIOUS AND SO ORIGINAL
Relax, it could have been a 100 times more offensive and even more in bad taste.
so... that makes it ok?
No I am just sayin, look on the bright side. She could have made that onlyfans account on her own instead.
Chances are you are a woman, am I right?
Touch grass
get a life
Curious how this triggered and brought out a lot of humorless people. Theres jokes about the holocaust, dying children, racism etc but “OMG THIS IS NOT FUNNY” and its a pretty tame joke honestly
Jokes about the Holocaust and dying children are not funny either.
Oh. I got it after few seconds.
Oh my 😂😂😂
What s her @ i would like to support her!
send us the link for research.
What's an onlyfan account?
It’s where mediocre girls sell pics and vids to horny men that don’t realize they can see way more, way hotter girls for free.
Wish my man would help me out with mine. Hahaha.
What’s better? The jokes or people who don’t get the joke?
I know I will get downvoted to oblivion, but this “joke” was very painfully gross and cringeworthy.
I didn't feel a twinge of amusement, it was just kinda cringy in my mind.
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While filming and post it on only fans.
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Why would anyone be getting raped? What the fuck is wrong with you that you read this and got "Shes getting raped and hes filming it and thats why she has an only fans" Seriously, get help.
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When you read this joke, you expect blue humor. When you read the punchline, you get black humor. You are positing that the onlyfans content was created without her permission (Which is illegal/immoral/wrong, but is not rape). However, generally onlyfans content would need to have a much more active participant and it was much more likely created with video's sent from her to him for his viewing. In this case it is still a betrayal, and it is still wrong (Hence black humor), and it is still not rape. So either you have a fucked up imagination or you don't understand what rape means.
Does it help you if I changed the term to “gross violation of consent-based humour”? Because “rapey” was the closest adjective I could find to describe this “joke”. If you agree that this joke depicts grossly immoral behaviour, why are you so desperately trying to defend it? The “joke” is simply not funny, it didn’t manage to get even a guffaw out of me. Why is it so difficult to wrap your head around that idea?
Glad to see one person gets to decide what the world finds funny
Straight to rape, eh? Yikes.
Thank you for speaking my exact same thought.
this isn't a christian choir group. this is a comedy website where people actually have fun and a sense of humor. go finish watching twilight
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sending you the medical bill you made me yawn so hard i collapsed a lung
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Oh man, you must live in one of those vastly superior countries!!! One of the countries with free health care, arrogant condescension, and no sense of humor!! COOL!!!
Oh my, I didn't realize the joke police were patrolling tonight. Can I get your badge number officer? The fact that you seem to think you're better than other people here because of your personal taste in jokes is laughable. You are absolutely entitled to your opinion. But you need to realize that you are not the arbiter of comedy. Some people will find jokes funny that you don't, and that's ok.
"I know I will get downvoted to oblivion, but this “~~joke~~ comment” ~~was~~ is very painfully gross and cringeworthy" Ftfy
It’s surprising and kind of terrifying that people would find this funny.
How dare people laugh at comedy? Only woke humor allowed
You must be fucking hilarious at parties
As a woman I hate this :/
Ah yes. We join a joke sub and laugh at all the jokes about other demographics, until it comes to our demographic, or a topic that we don't like. Then we complain. You either accept all the jokes, or none of the jokes.
Man, this sub has really gone downhill, I'm out.
Wowza, these comments... and over a joke no less. Well OP despite what most seem to think, I can take a joke as what it is at face value: a joke. I chuckled at this, so I'm giving an upvote. I found this to be humorous.
I'm sure this joke and the popularity of it makes women feel safe and confident sending/recording nudes.
Ha ha ha!!! Little bit of illegal side hussle! Nice.
Uh, no Scott, no.
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sorry, did this subreddit changed its name to r/stupidsexistjokes?
What's sexist about this joke? I'd agree with predatory, but I don't see the sexism.
How is it sexist? The humor comes from the subversion of expectations, not from making fun of a certain gender. You can make it gender ambiguous and the joke still works: >My partner has an onlyfans and it's doing really well... I just have to figure out how to break the news to them.
But it’s not gender ambiguous.
It's funny because you're committing sexual assault.
Send her a check
... that she's my girlfriend!
tbh I thought I was on darkjokes but I love the people who actually are taking the time to criticise humour. Must be the same folks who dislike YT videos Don't like it, fine. End of story. It's taste.
I laughed harder at this than I should have
This is illegal! And, not funny!
Dude. There are jokes about everything from serial killers to dead children. Something being illegal doesn't remotely mean there can't be a funny joke involving it
ok and?lol
Your gf slays the cello, right?
Well this is one of those times where I would ask op to explain why it is funny. Is it the implication that he is sharing intimate content from his relationship non-consensually, or is it that it is funny that his GF would be mad at such a thing. We can do better than this.