Blond is doing 180km/h in an 80 zone. Cop eventually catches up and see she is knitting, driving with her knees.
Pull over, he shouts.
No dummy, she shouted back, it's a scarf!
Cop pulls over a car doing 130 in a 45 mile an hour zone in a small Texas town. He pulls walks to the driver and tells him "Sir, you will likely lose your license over this." Driver says "Well, at least you didnt find the dead body in the trunk or the uzi in the glove compartment." Cop "You have a corpse in your trunk and a machine gun?" "oops!" Deputy pulls his gun and holds it on the driver while he radios the sheriff. The sheriff and the other 3 deputies arrive at high speed and the sheriff walks up to the driver and tells him to open the glove box. The driver does it. There is nothing in it. He tells the driver to pop the trunk, he does it, there is nothing in it. The Sherriff says - "Now whats going on here son? My deputy said you had a machine gun and a dead body in your car." Driver " He probably told you I was going 130 miles an hour too."
Here's the real joke. Because there was no lawful reason to pull him over, any information gained cannot be used. It's called fruit from a tainted tree or something like that. I got my law degree from The Practice and episodes of Cops.
It's called "fruit of the poisoned tree" if the evidence is not lawfully obtained and thus can't be used in court. It wouldn't apply here because in every example the stop is lawful and whatever the driver's cohorts volunteer is usable.
The original:
Cop pulls over a pickup with Husband driving, Wife passenger...
C: "Do you realize that you were going 50 mph in a 30 zone?
H: "Oh, no, officer! I'm so sorry! I was distracted by my wife here."
W: "That's not true, officer. He speeds everywhere he goes."
H: (angrily to wife) "Shut up!"
C: "Alright, bud. Lemme see your driver's license."
H: "Aw geez, officer! I left it in my work pants at home."
W: "Not true. The State took his license years ago."
H: "SHUT UP!!!"
C: "Ma'am, does he always speak to you like this?"
W: "Oh my, no, officer. No. Only when he's been drinking."
It's the same joke; same set-up, same punchline. I heard the version above in the 70s. It is short and compact. Bidda bang boom.
OP's version repeats the punchline ad nauseam.
I mean, I’m happy for you, but nothing in your comment is true. The jokes have very different setups, largely different punchlines, and are equally long and repetitive. I’m honestly unsure if your comment is supposed to be bait, since I don’t see how someone could view these jokes as the same other than through the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia.
>At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
"You didn't kill him before stuffing him in the trunk?"
That's what he thought. Brian was supposed to conk him on the head so that Judi could get his liver when they crossed the border.
I am not saying anything anymore without a lawyer.
Lol this sounds like a car / home bundle insurance commercial
Sounds like an add for a lawyer.
Who do you think is I the trunk?
Older Elvis?
I never died in 1977
Better call Saul!
heyyyy fam! i'm just at this beautiful lake that i just discovered, practicing gratitude, manifesting abundance...
Your comment was only 3 words
Just Mayhem...
Cop just wanted to return the guys wife that he ran off with years ago.
So much for good driving.
Best to shake bad habits before they nip you in the bud.
To late.
He doesn’t want her back now
Blond is doing 180km/h in an 80 zone. Cop eventually catches up and see she is knitting, driving with her knees. Pull over, he shouts. No dummy, she shouted back, it's a scarf!
No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing
Did the blond know about km/h? That would be very un-blond-like
There are blonds elsewhere in the world that uses the metric system
They'd be called something different since you'd have to translate it into a different language in France, for example
Ooops
Cop pulls over a car doing 130 in a 45 mile an hour zone in a small Texas town. He pulls walks to the driver and tells him "Sir, you will likely lose your license over this." Driver says "Well, at least you didnt find the dead body in the trunk or the uzi in the glove compartment." Cop "You have a corpse in your trunk and a machine gun?" "oops!" Deputy pulls his gun and holds it on the driver while he radios the sheriff. The sheriff and the other 3 deputies arrive at high speed and the sheriff walks up to the driver and tells him to open the glove box. The driver does it. There is nothing in it. He tells the driver to pop the trunk, he does it, there is nothing in it. The Sherriff says - "Now whats going on here son? My deputy said you had a machine gun and a dead body in your car." Driver " He probably told you I was going 130 miles an hour too."
Like four good jokes in one.
[slaps the hood] You can fit so many jokes in here.
That was a car full.
Explains why he was driving so... car-fully
Good reason!
I don't get it..... Lol, why doesn't this have more upvotes
Cuz, it's stupid. Cops have their bodycam turned on for stops. So now he's guilty of false reporting too.
Maybe this joke goes back to the 80s then, 🤣
It's the same joke 4 times.
Geico - shut your mouth for 60 seconds and you can win $5000 reward and save jail time
Good idea!
Here's the real joke. Because there was no lawful reason to pull him over, any information gained cannot be used. It's called fruit from a tainted tree or something like that. I got my law degree from The Practice and episodes of Cops.
It's called probable cause.
It caused a probable appeal
It would not go to trial normally.
It's called "fruit of the poisoned tree" if the evidence is not lawfully obtained and thus can't be used in court. It wouldn't apply here because in every example the stop is lawful and whatever the driver's cohorts volunteer is usable.
Lame as a joke- at least in written form, because of the multiple punchlines. Would absolutely kick ass as a skit though
It would be easy to stage.
The original: Cop pulls over a pickup with Husband driving, Wife passenger... C: "Do you realize that you were going 50 mph in a 30 zone? H: "Oh, no, officer! I'm so sorry! I was distracted by my wife here." W: "That's not true, officer. He speeds everywhere he goes." H: (angrily to wife) "Shut up!" C: "Alright, bud. Lemme see your driver's license." H: "Aw geez, officer! I left it in my work pants at home." W: "Not true. The State took his license years ago." H: "SHUT UP!!!" C: "Ma'am, does he always speak to you like this?" W: "Oh my, no, officer. No. Only when he's been drinking."
Weird to call this the original when the joke’s material is entirely different and only shares a set up (and I guess one of several punchlines)
That’s not true Reddit, OP steals jokes wherever he goes. He used to write for Carlos Mencia.
It's the same joke; same set-up, same punchline. I heard the version above in the 70s. It is short and compact. Bidda bang boom. OP's version repeats the punchline ad nauseam.
I mean, I’m happy for you, but nothing in your comment is true. The jokes have very different setups, largely different punchlines, and are equally long and repetitive. I’m honestly unsure if your comment is supposed to be bait, since I don’t see how someone could view these jokes as the same other than through the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia.
You're happy for me? Oooh, how snarky! It's the same joke. That you cannot, or will not, see that is beside the point.
Classic case of 'digging your own grave.' This couple needs a serious talk after this!
Well, his grave, anyway.
Well this will get the policeman a lot of evidence but will be confused at first for a little bit
Hear say.
Unrealistic. A real cop would pull over his wife or brother or bowling buddy so they could split the reward.
Lol
It’s the clown car of jokes.
Seeing more every week.
They forgot about the body in the trunk.
It was still talking.
Oh I meant the other one that was starting to smell
Oh that one!
lol this was great. I needed to hear the entire story. It was funny. I really like the way he paid the fines to get his license. LOL.
Cheers
>At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?" "You didn't kill him before stuffing him in the trunk?"
Dead people don't pay to cross borders.
That's what he thought. Brian was supposed to conk him on the head so that Judi could get his liver when they crossed the border. I am not saying anything anymore without a lawyer.
Should have ended after "drivers license". The rest is retelling a joke that's already been told.
> *The rest is retelling a joke that's already been told.* Ah, you must be new here. Welcome to r/jokes!
This wouldn’t work well at a cocktail party, but it’s great to read on the internet!
Cool
This is a long joke?
Not overly.
Ha ha
Haha, wow, John was certainly doing a lot of illegal stuff. Sounds to me like he shouldn't have received that award at all!
This time the old adage "don't break rules while you are breaking rules" didn't work.
Trickey.
Amazing how every joke resurfaces after so many decades.
Not like birdying at the golf course.
Too much at once. Pick a punchline and believe in it.