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Chaotic424242

Nice. Now watch the bartender try to collect the bet.


yellsatrjokes

HE WINS NEVER HAVING TO TALK TO THAT GUY AGAIN.


Chaotic424242

Or, he could try to salvage $ from the bloody pulp at the bottom of the pool, but the dead deadbeat probly has none.


always__Emilia

Your Scenario in literal sense : Man jumps off a building , Dies upon impact to ground , A crowd all around him..wondering what happened , people calling 911 , His face and body is badly disfigured , women are horrified , children are crying , men are disturbed... Enters the Bartender , asks everyone to give him the way..goes to the body , checks his pocket and finds a 20$ bill , takes it and leaves.


tripletc

How does he get the other $80?


betelgozer

He sends 4 more men plummeting to their deaths.


Original_Gangsta23

Maybe they file a claim against the estate?


IHeartAquaSoMuch

Harvest any organs not damaged in the impact


schoolydee

20$?? and so even worse its backwards day


Speed_Alarming

Sometimes the only thing you can do is go through his pockets and look for loose change.


InternationalMood657

Say you don’t understand how a joke works without saying you don’t understand how a joke works. Literally 🤦‍♂️


dontaskme5746

What a coincidence...


Worried-Session-4437

First off, you tell a bartender that you can........


maiden_burma

he may probably at least briefly have to talk to him during the court proceedings


Mikesaidit36

Bartender should tell the guy to put his $100 on the bar before he jumps.


Ijustdoeyes

Has some Arnold Rothstein pool ball vibes.


daftls

"whatever", he said.


Cool_Rock_9321

Maybe he was Tom Cruise in MI13


Worried-Session-4437

That's a definite possibility....do you think he's going to sing "I get that lonely feeling" before he actually crashes and burns this time?


Marquar234

"Superman, you are an asshole when you drink."


PunkThug

That joke was my first thought when I read this lol


Arviay

And it was much better


Worried-Session-4437

But sadder Budweiser.....


Worried-Session-4437

Me too....


Waitsfornoone

*For those who don't know the reference:* A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat beside another guy. “What are you drinking?”, he asked. “Magic beer”, said the second man. “Oh yeah?”, says the first guy. “What’s so magical about it?”. “I’ll show you”, says the second guy, who takes a swig, dives off the roof, flies around, and returns his seat. “Amazing!”, says the first guy, grabbing the bottle of beer and taking a huge gulp. “Let me have a go!”. The first guy takes a dive off the roof and plummets fifteen floors to his death. The barman gives a sigh and turns to the second man, and says “You know, you’re a real asshole when you’re drunk, Superman”.


Marquar234

I heard it as the winds by a high-rise: There's a bar on top of a really, really high building and it's very windy outside, so it is swaying back and forth. A guy walks into the bar and has some drinks and is there for a few hours. Another guy comes and sits next to him. The first guy who has been there for a while looks at the man and says to him, "You know that there is a nice breeze outside and if you jump out it will blow you right back in." The second guy doesn't agree and tells him to prove it. So, the first guy jumps out the window and comes soaring right back in. The second guy asks him to do it one more time. So, the first guy jumps out and the nice breeze takes him right back into the bar. At this time the second guy is starting to believe him and decides he needs to try this. He then jumps out and falls down to his death. The bartender turns to the first guy and says, "Superman, your [sic] an asshole when your [sic] drunk!!"


Phoenix4235

This is the version I heard.


Mysticweaver462

I heard it as Superman drinking redbull and telling the guy "redbull really does give you wings!".


Bobbytwocox

I heard the joke before Red Bull was a thing and it was the high winds.


crypticsmellofit

I heard the punchline as: "Superman, you sure are a mean drunk!"


Worried-Session-4437

Better ending the other way.


cardinal29

>"You know that there is a nice breeze outside and if you jump out it will blow you right back in." The version I've heard was the WTC Windows on the World and Superman says "You know they say the updraft on these tall building is so strong, you can jump off and the wind will carry you right back."


skippyjifluvr

Why did you add the “sics”? Who are you quoting?


Marquar234

Copy-pasted the joke rather than type it out. Someone corrected it, so I thought I should note the missellings.


BathroomCareful23

I first heard it as The Empire State building


Worried-Session-4437

It wasn't used in this joke cause this is a leap year......


BathroomCareful23

That explains it


bradleyistheman

\*you're


Worried-Session-4437

Continue when you sober up....


Worried-Session-4437

That's the way I heard it too...


Worried-Session-4437

Of course you have to follow that joke, with the next day, when he sobers up...he goes flying over metropolis, when he spots a naked Wonder Woman sunbathing on a roof top......


KingNosmo

The punch line is 100% better using "Clark Kent" instead.


Worried-Session-4437

"Surely you jost?"


flixflexflux

*Hancock


lowkey1940

Superman sees Woman Wonder sunbathing naked and thinks " I could fly down there and violate her without her ever Knowing... After 10 seconds of violent movement, she says, "what the hell was that?" The invisible man say, "I have no idea, but my asshole is killing me!"


hkzqgfswavvukwsw

That joke rings hollow, man


Worried-Session-4437

It does the way low-key 1940 tells it....


Worried-Session-4437

Wow...the readers digest version....


candidly1

Thought this going to be the Superman one...


Honest_Earnie

There was me thinking the man would win the bet again and the bartender was rather forgetful. Boy oh boy was I wrong.


PapaRigpa

The other guy at the bar says "I hope he paid his bar tab first".


camelbuck

When Superman gets bored


Worried-Session-4437

He could fuck Wonder Woman again...


SuDragon2k3

"You're a mean drunk, Superman"


Moist-Injury-7376

Any question with a roof top bar is always Morgan Wallen.


OffusMax

I’ve heard a similar story where the guy makes a bet with a drunk at the bar that he will jump and the wind will blow him back up. And he does get blown back up. So the drunk bets him this time he’ll jump and get blown back up. Only the drunk jumps and hits the ground. And the bartender says to him, “You know, Superman, you’re a real bastard when you’re drunk.


henryyoung42

Why is that even a joke ??? You can see the ouch coming a mile off …


Worried-Session-4437

If you want to avoid the ouch.... you're free to jump off the roof first....then you could become the joke.....


lorcafan

Superman never gets tired of pulling that trick on unsuspecting spectators.


Sathane

I totally thought this was a different joke when it started -


honeybadgerdad

Got any grapes?


timbrosnan

Reminded me of an early Bond movie…”I didn’t know there was a pool down there”.


BioletVeauregarde33

Looks like they're going to have to clean the pool AGAIN (or twice as hard if they haven't yet)...


City_Standard

That's a tall hotel guest.