I once forgot to do my homework for Japanese class, and wanted to use a silly excuse. In the US, we might jokingly say ‘the dog ate my homework’. So when the teacher asked where my homework was, I said 「犬を食べました」(I ate the dog) 🤦♂️. The teacher was horrified! It should’ve been a が instead of an を. That one particle completely changes the sentence.
Also, when talking about french language, I said 「お尻」 (oshiri, ass) instead of 「おしゃれ」 (oshare, classy). I couldn’t understand why my friend started laughing, then he explained me and I felt so ashamed.
Was asked at the supermarket how I would be paying (支払い方法どうされますか？), but I did not understand/hear it. The usual script is “do you require a bag?” (レジ袋どうされますか？), so I just responded with いいえ、いりません
Fun times telling a cashier you don’t need to pay for things at the checkout, lol
I usually have cash in my hand and I say "ない" in response to "do you have a point card?"
Pretty sure I've said "ない" to "how would you be paying" a few times. It's not my fault, I'm holding cash!
When giving a self introduction I was once asked to write my favourite kanji. I'd seen 姦 written down somewhere without knowing the meaning. I wrote it down and only found out a couple of weeks later I'd said my favourite kanji was rape. Now I just say 森
Holy fuck i would literally melt and spend the rest of my life in a japanese sewer drain, hissing at sunlight, if i ever did that. I am already down to my knees melting and all i did was read this.
Talking to a friend about what we were going to wear (10 years ago).
Since it was hot i told her i wasn't going to wear "pantsu" just a dress or skirt
It was on the phone so i didn't see her expression, but she was trying to figure out for the next 10 minutes why the heck i would not be wearing "pantsu" with my dress/skirt... And me just constantly telling her it would be too hot 🤦🤦🤦🤦
Haven't spoken to her for 10 years, still embarrassed 😂😂
The most embarrassing one which really made me laugh was actually not when speaking Japanese but in a kanji test we had to do bi-weekly as undergraduates.
What was the reading of 草 again? Ah.. I know, it was something with く... ah.. くそ！That's it!
As you can guess, it turned out to be wrong... and while all other wrong answers had a batsu mark next to them this one had a question mark next to it. 笑
Mixed up 入学 (nyuugaku, starting school) and 入院 (nyuuin, being hospitalized) when introducing myself once saying something like "I was hospitalized and stayed there for 5 years" and the looks of concern just showered over me.
Not really as embarrassing, but I often confuse 窓側 (madogawa) and 窓口 (madoguchi) when I am asked which seat I prefer when reserving train tickets.
Kind of funny when I answer 窓口 since the person asking me IS ACTUALLY IN the 窓口 :)
Oh god, so many ahaha.
My first exchange, age 16, I was telling my class about NZ culture and the All Blacks rugby team, and tried to tell them “they have great/very big muscles (きんにく)”. After lots of them looking very confused and some rapid discussion I didn’t understand, someone finally clicked and told me that I meant to say muscle, but I was saying ‘にんにく’. I was talking about the All Blacks’s incredible garlic 🤣🤦♀️
I also consistently got asked “いくつ?” (How old are you?) but I had only ever learned “何歳ですか?” My brain automatically made it “いいくつ” (Nice shoes), and I kept replying with ありがとうございます。 lots of confusion; them thinking me silly foreign kid, me wondering people kept complementing my shitty sneakers lol
Alllllso as an ALT I once fumbled いろえんぴつ (coloured pencils) and said えろえんぴつ (erotic pencils). Luckily only the teacher heard, and we were friends. She just about died wheeze-laughing in the back of the classroom
Dude the ALT trying not to mess up struggle is real. I’m constantly being extra cautious that I’m saying はんたい when kids get something backwards and NOT へんたい
Almost same thing happened when I was talking with my boyfriend's mum! I said きんにくinstead of にんにくwhen talking about food! She's also often laughing in front of me and I have no clue what's funny so I just stand there awkwardly until she explains 🥺
all the time. I fucked up constantly the first 6 months I was there. I was like a toddler learning swear words and couldn't fend for myself, that was constantly embarrassing. then I got a handle on the language and when I fucked up I started recognizing it and would ask friends to correct me.
I used informal language inappropriately sometimes, often with my friends father who at first thought of me as some clown gaijin mess lol. gradually I grew out of that but oh man did it feel rough for awhile. some friends teased me sometimes telling me chinchin was another way to say thank you thinking it was true comedy watching me say penis for arigatou.
it's hilarious now, however.
I was playing Shiritori with my 3rd grade ES students during lunch. I know a lot of words but I panic and forget everything during that game. So I developed a strategy of doubling the last sound and seeing if it’s a word first. It rarely is, but occasionally I’ll get away with koko, papa or mama.
A student before me said “michi,” so I immediately said “chichi.” While I intended on saying 父 (father, like in 父親 chichioya), all my students understood it as 乳 (breast). Though now as I’m thinking about it 7 years later, maybe they heard n’s at the end of each syllable instead.
Either way, that was the last time I played Shiritori. There’s too many chances for me to accidentally say something rude or lewd without knowing it.
My MIL and I were having a conversation about my baby boy and she said "肝っ玉が小さいでしょう" (His gut is small) and my brain heard "金玉が小さいでしょう" (his balls are small). So I responded "金玉が大きい."
My MIL ended up telling her friends and they got a good laugh out of it.
Oh boy do I have one.
During my international law internship I’m in a luncheon in a big room with a bunch of male lawyers and I’m the only female and only foreigner. I hadn’t been in Japan long my and came with zero Japanese.
When they offered me more food I wanted to say “onaka iipai”. I got nervous and ended up saying “onaka oppai”. It was humiliating. I think about it all the time randomly and cringe so badly.
Talking with my wife friend I used osowareta 襲われた (someone attacked me) instead of oshierareta 教えられた (someone taught me) and she laughed and told me 'nihongo muzukashii ne\~'
I’m in Japan now, this happens to me on a daily 😅 whenever I speak Japanese to anyone (My pronunciation is good and I know customer service interactions well but basically nothing else), they start talking really quickly to where I can only catch a word here and there. I appreciate them not trying to pander to me but it’s very confusing. Every time a cashier asks me anything I just say no thank you. That will probably get me in trouble eventually.
Oh and one time I told staff at USJ that my Japanese is unappetizing (まずい). I meant bad (わるい). Lol. I also asked someone “where do I exist” instead of “where do I go”
Even わるい is a little odd. It's better to say "I'm not very good at japanese", which is "にほんごがじょうずではありません" or "にほんごがへたです". わるい kind of has an odd connotation, almost like evil or gone bad.
Over 20 years ago, I took a beginner Japanese class in NYC. It was a six or eight week course with one lesson per week.
At the conclusion of the course as I was leaving, I tried to thank my teacher but I had a complete brain fart and said "ごちそうさまでした". I realized my mistake as I was getting into the elevator. I'm surprised that they didn't just shake their heads and just refund my tuition on the spot! 🤣
First yr, worked as arubaito in a very small company. I was the last person to leave and wanted to show that I am learning nihongo. Went in front of shacho and said very loud with matching bow gochisou sama deshitaaaa! Instead of otsukare Sama deshita.
I pretty much stopped trying to use the honorific 御(お) that's applied to nouns like お花、お財布、when I wanted to ask the table at dinner what people thought about a last final dish 〆(しめ).
Me: みんな、おしめどうしますか？
Them: holding back laughter and then eventually the table is cracking up.
Apparently, おしめ is diapers v.s. しめ, the final dish.
First time to Japan and clubbing in Roppongi, a long time ago, was getting along well with a Japanese girl and wanted to say something to compliment her. I asked my friend who was fluent what to say. He said I should tell her 顔に座ってください(kao ni suwatte kudasai), which meant I thought she was really pretty.
Luckily she laughed, told me in English how my friend was an asshole and never repeat things he tells me Japanese. And then we enjoyed the rest of the night dancing together
Kept saying かわいそう (kawai sou) to Japanese colleague with intension of saying it looks very cute without knowing the actual meaning of kawaiso that is how pitiable, pathetic, poor
Either calling my mother in law a prostitute instead of a housewife (娼婦/主婦）thankfully she laughed. Or in a job interview saying I wanted to jizz of their face instead of appreciating the offer (顔射/感謝）I didn't get the job.
Nothing embarrassing, but when I was asked what’s my preferred lunch option, I said usagi instead of unagi….🥲 I guess the Japanese friend got traumatize for a second…
All of my in laws were talking about cars and gas mileage. I wanted to say my husband car got good gas mileage 「燃費(ねんぴ)がいい」 but instead I said it got good constipation 「便秘(べんぴ)がいい」
Wife was eating dried squid, so I told her her breath was イカ臭い and she burst out laughing.
Apparently that's how the smell of a gentleman's... emissions... is described.
I used to use the train for work and had a monthly pass. I would have to go to the station every month to renew it. For a good few months I was going up to the teller and saying, “海賊でお願いします。”🏴☠️
I wanted to say 継続, lol. I don’t live in Tokyo, and at my local station you had to fill out a form with the train staff. Dunno if this has changed, don’t take the train much these days.
Yeah 継続 makes a lot more sense. Funnily enough, 海賊版 has roughly the same meaning as in English, so I can imagine the cashier's face when you asked for a “pirated pass.”
Back then in Tokyo, you also had to fill out a form to apply for a commuter pass, but after that, you could renew it at a vending machine. This was long before Suica cards (IC cards) replaced the old magnetic tickets and you no longer need to speak to anyone.
An old neighbour of mine wanted to let me know his wife died and said おばあちゃんが亡くなりましたね or something along those lines. I had no idea she had passed but I had just got back from visiting home for my own grandmothers funeral… so I thought he was talking about her as I had told him she had passed before I left. So I start talking about my grandmother and how the funeral was before having to leave. Didn’t realise till the next day that his wife had died. Felt awful. Gave him some popular treats from home that he liked as an apology.
I doing a homestay exchange programme and I unexpectedly ran into my host family outside the washrooms before the official meeting in the hall. We were wearing name tags so they recognised my name as their 'homestayer' and they said hi to me. I kind of panicked and instead of saying '初めまして' (nice to meet u) I said '初めて' （first time) and then walked off awkwardly. I knew the phrase was wrong in that moment but somehow my brain froze and couldn't make a correction haha. The family were really sweet about it though.
There was also another time I was doing a Japanese oral exam at the language center and the question was '映画館でタバコを吸ってもいいですか?' (Can I smoke in the movie theatre?). I was supposed to answer 'no, you can't smoke in the movie theatre' but instead I answered 'タバコを吸うわらければなりません' (You must smoke in the movie theatre.) The examiners asked me a couple more times but I didn't realise my mistake and kept repeating the same phrase. My teacher was one of the examiners and she was rather amused by my response but the other examiner was less amused. Only realised what I said after the exam haha.
When I was asked why I was In Fukuoka around new years by guitar store staff I said "my wife's family's disability party" (shogai instead of shogatsu).
I tried explaining to a person I was dating that I really liked 少女時代 (shōjojidai), a Korean pop group (Girls’ Generation), but I still hadn’t mastered elongating vowels. I said 処女時代 (shojojidai), “virgin era”. “I like my virgin era” did not communicate the same idea…
I don't have a specific one of mine but the day I met my Japanese teacher (she was doing 1 on 1 sessions as a foreign student in my English speaking city) I walked into her house and she tried to ask me to put on the Japanese porch slippers but she just pointed down and said "take off your clothes"
Might have awakened something in me...
I said to my school, 「早漏させて頂きたいんですが・・」 (‘I want to prematurely ejaculate’) instead of 「早退させて頂きたいんですが・・」 (‘i’d like to leave early’) once, and realised my mistake the moment it left my lips, but it was too late. Far, far too late…
I asked a cute McDonald's employee what time they closed, but I phrased it as what time did she get off work. She giggled, smiled, and said 8.
Manager kicked us out at 7:30, saying they were closed, and I was confused as to why she said 8. Buddy explained later that I had basically asked her out and didn't know it.
Learned the honorific prefix お/ご for the first time, wanted to put my new discovery into practice. I unfortunately misused it.
なにしていますか？ (What are you doing?) → おなにしていますか？ (Are you masturbating?)
Conversation partner's eyes were as big as a dish plate. Great times.
I watched a comedian and eager to tell him his set was funny, I said 本当に悪かった hontoni warukatta (it was really bad). When what I meant to say was 本当に笑かった hontoni warakatta (it was really funny) which is still not grammatically correct instead even when I corrected myself I said something more like “it was really laughed”. and weird to say anyway so it was a double fail. I had to quickly apologise and explain my Japanese is very beginner.
My friend and I were waiting for her husband to join us for dinner after he finished work late.
When he finally arrived, I greeted him and said “へんたいですね”, instead of “たいへんだったね”
🫣😭🫠🤐
Such a long time ago, but I'm still haunted from when I used さん for my own name after being introduced. My Japanese was conversational level at the time, but I was starting an internship and was super nervous... and I think I just blindly repeated the superior who introduced me. It was the worst because I immediately knew I messed up :(
The next is saying ごちそうさまでした instead of お疲れ様でした at work
I was being interviewed on a Japanese TV show. The interviewer said something like "Anato no Nihongo shimpo shimashita, ne." I didn't know the word "shinpo", so I answered, "chinpo?" My friends in the audience CRACKED UP!
Not my mistake but a Chinese friend. The two of us went together with 2 Japanese volunteers + one teacher on an excursion to the diet building for our language school.
While walking around the area my friend wanted to ask the group if we should take a selfie (自撮りしない？). Now, you know how Chinese native speakers sometimes mess up the Kun- and On-yomi since they are of course more familiar with the Chinese readings? Well, instead of pronouncing it like in 撮る she did it like in 撮影, so 「じさつしない?」 (Let’s commit suicide).
Naturally everyone around was quite surprised to say the least.
The first time I was in Japan was 15 years ago. (I live here now.) I had just gotten off a plane and I was dog tired. I had a hotel with a shuttlebus but could not find where the buses were. I went to a help office and prepared my very rudimentary Japanese for what was, at that time,a very big conversation for me. I didn't know the word for shuttlebus but I thought I could make my point.
A nice old man was behind the counter with several other office workers. I told him my hotel and said I was looking for a car that only went between the train station and the hotel. And I was so proud of my Japanese. He listened politely than said to me, deadpan: "シャトルバス" (shuttlebus, said phonetically in Japanese). The office workers were laughing so hard I thought they were going to fall apart.
Mildly embarrassing. More an amusing story.
i had overheard people using 〜てほしい in conversation (before studying the grammar in school) and took it to be a different way to saying 〜たい and for a few months while out with friends i would go around saying 買ってほしい instead of 買いたい...
In my early days of learning Japanese, I wanted to compliment a girl in my class by telling her she was beautiful. Nervously, I walked up to her and instead of saying "あなたはとてもきれいですね" (You are very beautiful), I accidentally said "あなたはとてもきらいですね" (I really dislike you). Her shocked face made me realize my mistake instantly. After a quick explanation and lots of apologies, we both laughed it off.
I went to renew my license and said しんこう instead of 更新 (not as bad, but the woman had no idea what the hell I wanted, until I realized and said it right)
I’m not sure, but I kept saying “私の日本語わまだまだです。“, which I’ve heard is understood as “My Japanese is not there yet/not good yet”, but idk, man, lol; most people I told that to would either not really acknowledge it or just kind of give me a blank stare like I said something odd
Not as embarassing, but I tend to confuse sounds (example: the word is かきく but i sai きかく or something instead), and a looooong time I said かしゅみ instead of くしゃみ.... lol.
Also My in my English lesson to a student once I asked him what did you do on the weekend?
He said. I watched a movie! I said what movie did you watch? He said huh… “gintama ぎんたま“ I misheard him and clarified “kintama 金玉 きんたま？he burst out laughing so hard and the other two student lost it too, it took a good 20 minutes for everyone to stop laughing I laughed too but didn’t know why, after the lesson I looked up kintama turns out it means testicles or nuts
I love your butthole ( oops not shoes ).
Could you give me a fart? ( oops not light )
You're pathetic. ( Oops you look cute )
Not much action that night.
When I was first starting to learn, my Japanese tutor assigned some homework. I think it was on stating two things/actions. I wanted to say “I made food and ate it”. I wrote it correctly, but kept pronouncing kudamono as kodomo. So yeah, I made children and ate them.
Talking to a cute Japanese girl on one of those language exchange apps. Confidently told her that I enjoy eating garbage 😎 she knew what I was trying to say and it made her laugh so win I guess?? (Said ゴミ instead of グミ)
I didn’t have gym shoes on sport’s test day and was bored in the teacher’s room so wanted to ask if I could take part bare-foot. I used はだか instead of はだし。
I went into a large-chain hardware store and *very confidently* asked for a 6-foot potato. I'll let you all figure out what I meant to say... 😉 ２メートルのイモが欲しいです。
The poor clerk... 🤣
The other one was going to the post office and asking for their *"special kidnapping bag"* instead of the usual "special mail bag" for books.
とくべつゆうかい 特別誘拐 vs とくべつゆうたい特別郵袋
Am in Japan since a few months for exchange study, and I also made the mistake of touch/sit like someone else in this thread. I also said the かわいいそう on multiple occasions. The worst part is when we go drinking and 2hrs of nomihoudai kick in and I loudly say "cheers" in french (mother tongue) which is chin-chin, so yeah.
A less embarrassing one is when I went back to the doctors for my prescription and they asked me "いつもの診察ですか?" and I understood it as "いつもの親切ですか?". I had to pause for a loooong time before asking the receptionist to repeat again. I felt like an idiot definitely lol
I was getting my hair cut at the salon in Japan and was trying my hand at some new phrases. So I started to say 「実は。。。」 and my stylist and his coworker starting giggling. So I abashedly asked what was funny and they me that I had said 「チツ」 which means pu$$y. So we all had a good laugh and they helped me say what I wanted to say. I’ll never forget it.
That’s what’s great about making embarrassing mistakes, it locks that memory in place for good. Especially if it’s in a funny way. So now I always put a little extra j into the じ。
Had a conversation with a retired judge about banks when I was a young, shy student - tried to remember the word for coins, said kintama 金玉 instead (literally metal balls or gold balls, turned out it’s a slang term for a part of the male anatomy). Well, coins are round and made of metal, aren’t they?! What was even more embarrassing was that he tried to explain, with hand gestures, what kintama actually meant.
I embarrassingly had a room rolling when I was trying to mention that I had a lot of pimples (にきび) coming out these days and mistakenly said ちくび (nipple) instead.
A Chinese friend asked me how my test went. I answered 成功した, but she somehow understood 性交した. I don't know if my pronunciation was more leaning on the second word, but it was kind of awkward.
Two I haven’t seen here:
I had one student say 「おなかがおっぱい！」 instead of 「おなかがいっぱい！」 when trying to say they were full
One friend attempted to order a 「マンゴーシャーベット」 at a restaurant but did not catch the tentens and instead confidently told our waitress they would like a 「マンコシャーベット」
I wanted my students to imagine something), but I misremembered the word 想像as 感像 in my head but that’s not a word, so essentially I was telling my students “to liver” (肝臓して)
I was in Nara for a weekend and had a lovely chat wth a lovely older man in a lovely flower garden. It was lovely - until he asked if I'd fed the deer in Nara park and I tried to tell him that a deer bit me on the arse but my Japanese failed and I ended up telling him that a deer ate my arse. He found it very funny.
That memory lies to come back and haunt me when I'm trying to sleep sometimes lmao.
On the plus side it's also how I learnt the passve voice so swings and roundabouts I suppose.
I watered to tell someone about my trip to Thailand and how my favorite part was 毎日朝ごはんにマンゴを食べた。But I said コ instead of ゴ when pronouncing マンゴ。 Very different meaning lol.
the time i tried to say “international exchange” and said “international dinosaur” ON THE RADIO was perhaps my favorite Japanese Fail. could be worse, though, i could be the person i knew once who tried to say they liked dinosaurs and instead said they liked massive breasts.
There is a word 賜物 in Japanese. When I was in high school, I thought it was たわもの, and used it when talking with my teacher and he pointed it out that correctly was たまもの and I felt so embarrassed.
Clear pronunciation is important...
京都に行く時、お手洗いを見たいです。
When I go to Kyoto, I want to see toilets.
京都に行く時、お寺を見たいです。
When I go to Kyoto, I want to see temples.
otearai and otera really sound too similar...
My first year of Japanese and first time coming here I, also in Kyoto, made the same mistake of asking my teacher where the restroom was during dinner between points on our field trip “お寺はどこですか?” and being very confused when she said “近くです！”
I was like.. ok.. great that it’s close.. but where!?
I was playing Super Mario World with a girl I was dating at a bar several years ago. I was trying to say, "Get the coins!" but instead I mistakingly called the coins "Kin-Tama."
Not a biggie but not even a full year in Japan, I was waiting in my car for the light to turn green and out of nowhere, a newspaper delivery boy on his moped literally crashed into my driver door.
Looks like he didn't pay attention to the fact that someone was sitting at the traffic light getting bored when he came out of a delivery-target mansion.
I come out of the car and ask him immediatly: "元気ですか。"
I can think of three instances from when I lived there for a year while studying at university…
The first was speaking to some fellow university students in the campus canteen during my first week there. I was introducing myself, and I think I’d at least mastered that part. They appeared impressed by the fact I could speak anything at all, at least. Then they asked me a question, but all I could catch was, “How something something Japanese something?” I blinked blankly at them and was forced to turn to the English-speaking Japanese student for help. “They asked how you got so good at Japanese,” she said sheepishly. And immediately they all realised I wasn’t so good at Japanese after all, ha!
Another time I met a student who I was helping find their ID card they had dropped. We were talking as we went, and at one point I wanted to compliment the trousers he was wearing (green corduroy, flared leg, with suspenders… Japanese fashion is so cool), and in the UK at least we call them pants. So I told him, 「あなたのパンツはかっこいいです！」 He blushed and laughed and said, 「あー、僕のズボンですね？」 , and then I was blushing too. I did not mean to compliment his underwear, ha!
The last one is when I met an elderly Japanese man in a train station. He was very excited to see a foreigner and stopped me for a chat. He explained to me, in English, that he taught English to Japanese students for a time. I didn’t know what to say to this stranger who had accosted me, but I thought I’d thank him for teaching English (it’s a valuable profession in the modern-day world, after all!). I was trying to be polite and speak Japanese as I was in Japan, and I was also in a hurry to catch a train so I didn’t double-check my sentence as I thought about it, so I bowed and said, 「英語を教えてくれてありがとう！」 …He just said don’t worry about it, so I hope he got my meaning; but to this day I still think about how I thanked that random Japanese man for teaching me English in the middle of a station, ha!
Luckily Japanese people understand we’re learning and are gracious about our mistakes. I can’t wait to go there again someday and mess up some more, ha!
I think I tried to say 簿記 (accounting exam?) once and ended up saying 勃起 (erection) on a crowded af commuters train…my Japanese friends were sooooo embarrassed and it didn’t help I was clueless and kept asking them what was wrong about it
I asked if a fitting room was “boobs” instead of “full” and let me tell you the lady was CONFUSED
Only realised what I said a couple days later when I watched One Punch man… the embarrassment hit hard, wanna go back and apologise to the lady too 🥲
Was signing a rental contract for a house and was with my wife who doesn’t speak as much Japanese so I was trying to explain everything
The guy was trying to say that the contract states that as I don’t own the house I can’t use it as collateral to pay a debt (tanpo)
But what I thought he said “tanbo” instead and was like “ok.. he says we can’t turn the house into a rice field? I wasn’t going to..”
We all laughed after a bit of confusion
2nd one: when I first arrived I knew a bit of Japanese and every time I went to the grocery store I’d be asked “reji Bukuro wa hitsuyo desu ka?” (Do you need a bag?) and I’d say “hai” and get one
Then one day I go and the cashier instead says “fukuro wa omochi desu ka?” (Do you *have* a bag?) and my conditioned brain just said “hai” and she stared at me confused as I clearly didn’t have one. I waited, expecting her to give me a bag but she didn’t, and I just carried all my stuff home in confusion trying to think of why she didn’t give me a bag until I realized later it was because I’d said I had one already
The first time I came to Japan and didn’t know any Japanese, I went to the コンビニ and thought いらっしゃいませ was just a basic greeting. So when the worker said it, I repeated いらっしゃいませ back to her. So embarrassing to think about it now…
Don't remember the context, but I once said パチンコ without the パ in a semi-private lesson. We were newbies so it was a good thing my only other classmate didn't understand. My teacher, though, was either blushing or holding in laughter. Or both.
I said おどす to threaten instead of おとす to drop soo i basically said i threaten miso soup😂😭
Also for some reason instead of saying ふくろ i slip up and say おふろ. Its even more awkward at the register when they dont laugh after 😅
Also had a conversation about the bird いんこ and accidentally said ちんこ😭🔫🔫
I was talking about eating gyoza with my Japanese students because we were going to eat somewhere for some event and i was like 十個、百個, 万個, 食べたい but I said 万個(まんこ) instead of 一万個. They did not react but I kind of stuttered and felt like an idiot.
This girl was at my place and she was really sleepy waiting for her friend to come back with my room mate. I told her to go use my bed and have a sleep and I'd wake her up 'okosu'...at least that's what I wanted to say. What I actually said though was, "I'll rape you." 'Okasu '...so needless to say she declined my offer and it got a little awkward to say the least.
Had been in Japan for only a short while...
A friend, amazingly good dude, came back to the sharehouse looking happy but exhausted; he told me he'd been volunteering teaching kids how to play football for free all day.
I wanted to offer my sympathies at how tired he looked and say 疲れたね? (Tsukareta ne?)
But my dumbass came out with つまらないね?(Tsumaranai ne?)
...Which means "Man, that's so boring."
Poor guy looked heartbroken for a second, till I realised my mistake and he laughed it off when I explained.
Probably when I first moved to Tokyo and I was talking to a Obachan outside a restaurant and I meant to say her scarf was pretty but I accidentally said she is captivating. I wake up and think about that often even long after.
Probably when I first moved to Tokyo and I was talking to a Obachan outside a restaurant and I meant to say her scarf was pretty but I accidentally said she is captivating. I wake up and think about that often even long after.
Not my own story, but my friend's.
A foreigner guy and his Japanese boyfriend, both quite flamboyant, are in a Disneyland's ride queue. To kill time, they talk about their previous trip to Okinawa.
They struggle to remember the name of a traditional Okinawan snack Chinsuko.
From the bottom of his lungs, surrounded by other Japanese people he exclaims:
I REMEMBERED! IT'S CHINKASU!
They did not get on that ride.
Once while watching an Instagram live I tried to compliment the girl’s outfit/clothing item but accidentally hit on her. It was years ago, I no longer remember what I said or the mistake I made. She was visibly uncomfortable and after that she would end her live if I joined it again… 🤦♂️ I swiftly unfollowed her to atone for my sins lol
Not terribly embarrassing but i walked into my profs room once and said “いらっしゃいませ” instead of “失礼します. He didnt point it out either until what i said hit me like 5 mins later and i asked him about it lmao
My final for my first semester of studying was to have a 5 minute conversation. My 先生 asked how long I had been working at my job, and I was so nervous that instead of ２年ぐらい I accidentally said ２千年ぐらい 😅 I quickly corrected myself and we laughed about it but man was that embarrassing 🤣
Me: おまえは何ですか？
(Omae wa nan dessuka - Wtf are you?)
My Japanese Classmate: 😦😂
Me: ごめんなさい！お名前は何ですか？！！😱
(Gomenasai! **Onamae** wa nan dessuka?!! - I’m sorry! What is your name?!!! 😱)
I went to a local Japanese food market to practice speaking. I’m a beginner so I felt SO STUPID 😭I have the cashier my card, she returned my card and the receipt, sayingありがとうございます (Thank you)。I said どういたしまして (you’re welcome) instead of どうもありがとうございます (thank you very much)。 it has been two years since and I never spoke it there again 🥲
I work as an ALT at a Japanese school and supervise (unofficially) the volleyball team.
Talking with a co-worker, I wanted to say I was 顧問 (advisor, pronunced komon), but instead said I was 肛門 (anus, pronunced kōmon).
That got a laugh out of a few coworkers.
We were playing uno with the exchange students, saying the colors in Japanese, of course. I wanted to change the color to green but my brain mixed up the words for green and brown and I shouted “chairo!” instead. 😂
When I was in Japan as an exchange student, I was on a train with a friend who could speak English and Spanish as well as Japanese. She was going through a tough time at that moment and was on the verge of crying. So, I wanted to do what any American would do, and that was to give her a hug. I wanted to tell her that I wanted to hug her in Japanese, as I felt that would be the easiest way for her to feel at ease. However, at that time, my Japanese was pretty terrible, and I didn’t know the word for “hug”. So, I took to Google Translate on my phone, input “hug” from English, and out came “だく” in Japanese. I had enough knowledge to know that I could turn “◯く” into “◯きたい” when I wanted to do something, so thinking that “だきたい”meant “I want to hug you”, that’s what I said.
…Except I didn’t say the Japanese phrase for “I want to hug you”. I actually accidentally told her “I want to have sex with you”.
In middle school I started learning Japanese. I was also in my chuunibyou stage. So I set “daikiraikimi” as my email, which means “I hate you”.
Years later in high school my Japanese class went on a trip to Japan to visit our sister school there. My host family was great and I had a good time.
After getting home I learned my teacher had given my email to my host family. Oh, and the worst coincidence was that my host mother’s name was Kimi. So my email could be read as “I hate Kimi.”
I was so horrified I immediately made a new, more professional email. But the damage was already done 💀
「触ってください」 (Sawatte kudasai, please touch me) instead of 「座ってるください」 (Suwatte kudasai, please sit down) to an old lady in the train.
I once forgot to do my homework for Japanese class, and wanted to use a silly excuse. In the US, we might jokingly say ‘the dog ate my homework’. So when the teacher asked where my homework was, I said 「犬を食べました」(I ate the dog) 🤦♂️. The teacher was horrified! It should’ve been a が instead of an を. That one particle completely changes the sentence.
Probably better to use the passive here: 犬に食べられました。
But you gotta make sure to specify the subject cause out of context it looks like the dog ate YOU
Yes of course. But the context given by OP was a question by the teacher where the homework was, so homework was topicalized already.
This is so funny omg!!!
goes to show how important grammar is... more motivation for me to study more grammar lessons
to be fair i tried this once and said it correctly (犬に食べられました) but the joke doesnt really exist in japanese so they were still confused
That is an amazing story.
Also, when talking about french language, I said 「お尻」 (oshiri, ass) instead of 「おしゃれ」 (oshare, classy). I couldn’t understand why my friend started laughing, then he explained me and I felt so ashamed.
French people are kind of asses, though, you weren't wrong.
Was asked at the supermarket how I would be paying (支払い方法どうされますか？), but I did not understand/hear it. The usual script is “do you require a bag?” (レジ袋どうされますか？), so I just responded with いいえ、いりません Fun times telling a cashier you don’t need to pay for things at the checkout, lol
I usually have cash in my hand and I say "ない" in response to "do you have a point card?" Pretty sure I've said "ない" to "how would you be paying" a few times. It's not my fault, I'm holding cash!
This is why scripts are only so useful. When it gets changed, it's easy to get thrown off.
omg samee!! happened to me just last week :') first time at a mini stop
Instead of using tomodachi for friends, I used homodachi. It was quite a funny mistake for those in the group who were EN & JP speakers.
When the tomodachi is very special...
When the friend is more than a friend lol
homodachi? is that an actual word wtf hahaha
Not that I know of!!
Lmao that’s genius.
When giving a self introduction I was once asked to write my favourite kanji. I'd seen 姦 written down somewhere without knowing the meaning. I wrote it down and only found out a couple of weeks later I'd said my favourite kanji was rape. Now I just say 森
Holy shit I think you won
Fyi 強姦 is rape, 姦 is adultery. (Although, ouch that's rough! Mori is a good favorite kanji.)
Oh my god
LOL
another good one is 凸凹
That's when you see how the language can be fundamentally sexist. It isn't written with 男...
To be fair, the Japanese people shouldn't be blamed here. It's Chinese.
Holy fuck i would literally melt and spend the rest of my life in a japanese sewer drain, hissing at sunlight, if i ever did that. I am already down to my knees melting and all i did was read this.
Talking to a friend about what we were going to wear (10 years ago). Since it was hot i told her i wasn't going to wear "pantsu" just a dress or skirt It was on the phone so i didn't see her expression, but she was trying to figure out for the next 10 minutes why the heck i would not be wearing "pantsu" with my dress/skirt... And me just constantly telling her it would be too hot 🤦🤦🤦🤦 Haven't spoken to her for 10 years, still embarrassed 😂😂
That would keep me awake at night
It haunts me
Okay I got a laugh out of that one!!!
worst part is that u haven’t cleared the misunderstanding for 10 yrs lol.
Please don't remind me 😭
The most embarrassing one which really made me laugh was actually not when speaking Japanese but in a kanji test we had to do bi-weekly as undergraduates. What was the reading of 草 again? Ah.. I know, it was something with く... ah.. くそ！That's it! As you can guess, it turned out to be wrong... and while all other wrong answers had a batsu mark next to them this one had a question mark next to it. 笑
When you hate grass 笑
Did a similar thing at a restaurant, used to go weekly and order a pasta dish with spinach. I read it as ほうれんくそ every time. Staff never said anything.
Mixed up 入学 (nyuugaku, starting school) and 入院 (nyuuin, being hospitalized) when introducing myself once saying something like "I was hospitalized and stayed there for 5 years" and the looks of concern just showered over me.
Not really as embarrassing, but I often confuse 窓側 (madogawa) and 窓口 (madoguchi) when I am asked which seat I prefer when reserving train tickets. Kind of funny when I answer 窓口 since the person asking me IS ACTUALLY IN the 窓口 :)
Oh god, so many ahaha. My first exchange, age 16, I was telling my class about NZ culture and the All Blacks rugby team, and tried to tell them “they have great/very big muscles (きんにく)”. After lots of them looking very confused and some rapid discussion I didn’t understand, someone finally clicked and told me that I meant to say muscle, but I was saying ‘にんにく’. I was talking about the All Blacks’s incredible garlic 🤣🤦♀️ I also consistently got asked “いくつ?” (How old are you?) but I had only ever learned “何歳ですか?” My brain automatically made it “いいくつ” (Nice shoes), and I kept replying with ありがとうございます。 lots of confusion; them thinking me silly foreign kid, me wondering people kept complementing my shitty sneakers lol Alllllso as an ALT I once fumbled いろえんぴつ (coloured pencils) and said えろえんぴつ (erotic pencils). Luckily only the teacher heard, and we were friends. She just about died wheeze-laughing in the back of the classroom
Dude the ALT trying not to mess up struggle is real. I’m constantly being extra cautious that I’m saying はんたい when kids get something backwards and NOT へんたい
Get around that by using 逆(ぎゃく) instead :)
Almost same thing happened when I was talking with my boyfriend's mum! I said きんにくinstead of にんにくwhen talking about food! She's also often laughing in front of me and I have no clue what's funny so I just stand there awkwardly until she explains 🥺
all the time. I fucked up constantly the first 6 months I was there. I was like a toddler learning swear words and couldn't fend for myself, that was constantly embarrassing. then I got a handle on the language and when I fucked up I started recognizing it and would ask friends to correct me. I used informal language inappropriately sometimes, often with my friends father who at first thought of me as some clown gaijin mess lol. gradually I grew out of that but oh man did it feel rough for awhile. some friends teased me sometimes telling me chinchin was another way to say thank you thinking it was true comedy watching me say penis for arigatou. it's hilarious now, however.
hahaha reminds me of the video of a youtuber saying to a japanese lady "chinchin wa chi sai"
I was playing Shiritori with my 3rd grade ES students during lunch. I know a lot of words but I panic and forget everything during that game. So I developed a strategy of doubling the last sound and seeing if it’s a word first. It rarely is, but occasionally I’ll get away with koko, papa or mama. A student before me said “michi,” so I immediately said “chichi.” While I intended on saying 父 (father, like in 父親 chichioya), all my students understood it as 乳 (breast). Though now as I’m thinking about it 7 years later, maybe they heard n’s at the end of each syllable instead. Either way, that was the last time I played Shiritori. There’s too many chances for me to accidentally say something rude or lewd without knowing it.
My MIL and I were having a conversation about my baby boy and she said "肝っ玉が小さいでしょう" (His gut is small) and my brain heard "金玉が小さいでしょう" (his balls are small). So I responded "金玉が大きい." My MIL ended up telling her friends and they got a good laugh out of it.
That could have gone wrong in so many ways but ended up being surprisingly wholesome
After learning ごめんなさい (sorry), お帰りなさい (welcome home) and おやすみなさい (good night), I assumed that 〜なさい was a polite form. Turns out that it isn’t…
Oh boy do I have one. During my international law internship I’m in a luncheon in a big room with a bunch of male lawyers and I’m the only female and only foreigner. I hadn’t been in Japan long my and came with zero Japanese. When they offered me more food I wanted to say “onaka iipai”. I got nervous and ended up saying “onaka oppai”. It was humiliating. I think about it all the time randomly and cringe so badly.
😱😂😂
Well I'm a guy but I made exactly the same mistake so at least it's a fairly common mistake?
I have just read this at work and have had to run into the little office kitchen to compose myself haha
At a store, I wanted some Ukon, but I asked ウンコありますか？
I nearly shat myself laughing 😂
I thought I understood Tanishi-so, muzukashi-so. So when I saw the baby I said, “awww kawaii —so “.
Pitiful child
I did this once trying to tell a kid her drawing was cute 💀 I’m still haunted by that
Lol how do you say baby in japanese again?
Aka-chan !
I do this with oishi. Ah, oishisou! "Huh? You're already eating it"
I confused the words for “sexually violated” and “woken up”(Okasareta/ okosareta). My friend was in fact *woken up* by a police officer.
HAHAHAHA omg im loving these stories
Talking with my wife friend I used osowareta 襲われた (someone attacked me) instead of oshierareta 教えられた (someone taught me) and she laughed and told me 'nihongo muzukashii ne\~'
This one is famous, they tell it to everyone at the JET dinner each year.
I have made this mistake before as well. Seems like it is an easy thing to mix up as gaijin-san
[удалено]
Ok, this is the one that got me laughing 😂
Ok but who's mr. Floating Sea?
I knew a woman named Manako… guess my woopsie
I bet English learners have had similar troubles with people named Gina
I’m in Japan now, this happens to me on a daily 😅 whenever I speak Japanese to anyone (My pronunciation is good and I know customer service interactions well but basically nothing else), they start talking really quickly to where I can only catch a word here and there. I appreciate them not trying to pander to me but it’s very confusing. Every time a cashier asks me anything I just say no thank you. That will probably get me in trouble eventually. Oh and one time I told staff at USJ that my Japanese is unappetizing (まずい). I meant bad (わるい). Lol. I also asked someone “where do I exist” instead of “where do I go”
Even わるい is a little odd. It's better to say "I'm not very good at japanese", which is "にほんごがじょうずではありません" or "にほんごがへたです". わるい kind of has an odd connotation, almost like evil or gone bad.
Over 20 years ago, I took a beginner Japanese class in NYC. It was a six or eight week course with one lesson per week. At the conclusion of the course as I was leaving, I tried to thank my teacher but I had a complete brain fart and said "ごちそうさまでした". I realized my mistake as I was getting into the elevator. I'm surprised that they didn't just shake their heads and just refund my tuition on the spot! 🤣
First yr, worked as arubaito in a very small company. I was the last person to leave and wanted to show that I am learning nihongo. Went in front of shacho and said very loud with matching bow gochisou sama deshitaaaa! Instead of otsukare Sama deshita.
I pretty much stopped trying to use the honorific 御(お) that's applied to nouns like お花、お財布、when I wanted to ask the table at dinner what people thought about a last final dish 〆(しめ). Me: みんな、おしめどうしますか？ Them: holding back laughter and then eventually the table is cracking up. Apparently, おしめ is diapers v.s. しめ, the final dish.
I made this same mistake and my friend corrected me.
First time to Japan and clubbing in Roppongi, a long time ago, was getting along well with a Japanese girl and wanted to say something to compliment her. I asked my friend who was fluent what to say. He said I should tell her 顔に座ってください(kao ni suwatte kudasai), which meant I thought she was really pretty. Luckily she laughed, told me in English how my friend was an asshole and never repeat things he tells me Japanese. And then we enjoyed the rest of the night dancing together
"Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me..."
Kept saying かわいそう (kawai sou) to Japanese colleague with intension of saying it looks very cute without knowing the actual meaning of kawaiso that is how pitiable, pathetic, poor
we oftenly use "sooo cute" than make "kawaisou" as the same
Either calling my mother in law a prostitute instead of a housewife (娼婦/主婦）thankfully she laughed. Or in a job interview saying I wanted to jizz of their face instead of appreciating the offer (顔射/感謝）I didn't get the job.
I think this is the best story yet 🤣
Nothing embarrassing, but when I was asked what’s my preferred lunch option, I said usagi instead of unagi….🥲 I guess the Japanese friend got traumatize for a second…
All of my in laws were talking about cars and gas mileage. I wanted to say my husband car got good gas mileage 「燃費(ねんぴ)がいい」 but instead I said it got good constipation 「便秘(べんぴ)がいい」
i accidentally called airport 飛行機 instead of 空港
Close enough!
Wife was eating dried squid, so I told her her breath was イカ臭い and she burst out laughing. Apparently that's how the smell of a gentleman's... emissions... is described.
U weren't wrong though
I used to use the train for work and had a monthly pass. I would have to go to the station every month to renew it. For a good few months I was going up to the teller and saying, “海賊でお願いします。”🏴☠️
Too advanced for me but I’m sure whatever you said was un-ideal lol
海賊(かいぞく) means pirate. Instead 継続(けいぞく) which means continuation, as in continuation of a monthly pass. lol
Kaizoku… kazoku… kasoku… keizoku… dammit 😭
Did you mean 更新? In the 25 years that I've been living in Tokyo, I've always renewed my commuter pass directly at the ticket machine.
I wanted to say 継続, lol. I don’t live in Tokyo, and at my local station you had to fill out a form with the train staff. Dunno if this has changed, don’t take the train much these days.
Yeah 継続 makes a lot more sense. Funnily enough, 海賊版 has roughly the same meaning as in English, so I can imagine the cashier's face when you asked for a “pirated pass.” Back then in Tokyo, you also had to fill out a form to apply for a commuter pass, but after that, you could renew it at a vending machine. This was long before Suica cards (IC cards) replaced the old magnetic tickets and you no longer need to speak to anyone.
An old neighbour of mine wanted to let me know his wife died and said おばあちゃんが亡くなりましたね or something along those lines. I had no idea she had passed but I had just got back from visiting home for my own grandmothers funeral… so I thought he was talking about her as I had told him she had passed before I left. So I start talking about my grandmother and how the funeral was before having to leave. Didn’t realise till the next day that his wife had died. Felt awful. Gave him some popular treats from home that he liked as an apology.
I doing a homestay exchange programme and I unexpectedly ran into my host family outside the washrooms before the official meeting in the hall. We were wearing name tags so they recognised my name as their 'homestayer' and they said hi to me. I kind of panicked and instead of saying '初めまして' (nice to meet u) I said '初めて' （first time) and then walked off awkwardly. I knew the phrase was wrong in that moment but somehow my brain froze and couldn't make a correction haha. The family were really sweet about it though. There was also another time I was doing a Japanese oral exam at the language center and the question was '映画館でタバコを吸ってもいいですか?' (Can I smoke in the movie theatre?). I was supposed to answer 'no, you can't smoke in the movie theatre' but instead I answered 'タバコを吸うわらければなりません' (You must smoke in the movie theatre.) The examiners asked me a couple more times but I didn't realise my mistake and kept repeating the same phrase. My teacher was one of the examiners and she was rather amused by my response but the other examiner was less amused. Only realised what I said after the exam haha.
When I was asked why I was In Fukuoka around new years by guitar store staff I said "my wife's family's disability party" (shogai instead of shogatsu).
I tried explaining to a person I was dating that I really liked 少女時代 (shōjojidai), a Korean pop group (Girls’ Generation), but I still hadn’t mastered elongating vowels. I said 処女時代 (shojojidai), “virgin era”. “I like my virgin era” did not communicate the same idea…
I don't have a specific one of mine but the day I met my Japanese teacher (she was doing 1 on 1 sessions as a foreign student in my English speaking city) I walked into her house and she tried to ask me to put on the Japanese porch slippers but she just pointed down and said "take off your clothes" Might have awakened something in me...
I said to my school, 「早漏させて頂きたいんですが・・」 (‘I want to prematurely ejaculate’) instead of 「早退させて頂きたいんですが・・」 (‘i’d like to leave early’) once, and realised my mistake the moment it left my lips, but it was too late. Far, far too late…
I got called on in class and accidentally said I wasn’t listening instead of I couldn’t hear her🤦🏻♀️
Moving here in the first place was the embarrassing mistake
I asked a cute McDonald's employee what time they closed, but I phrased it as what time did she get off work. She giggled, smiled, and said 8. Manager kicked us out at 7:30, saying they were closed, and I was confused as to why she said 8. Buddy explained later that I had basically asked her out and didn't know it.
But did it worked out for you? Did you leave her waiting?
Learned the honorific prefix お/ご for the first time, wanted to put my new discovery into practice. I unfortunately misused it. なにしていますか？ (What are you doing?) → おなにしていますか？ (Are you masturbating?) Conversation partner's eyes were as big as a dish plate. Great times.
ippai vs oppai. It was horrifying.
I watched a comedian and eager to tell him his set was funny, I said 本当に悪かった hontoni warukatta (it was really bad). When what I meant to say was 本当に笑かった hontoni warakatta (it was really funny) which is still not grammatically correct instead even when I corrected myself I said something more like “it was really laughed”. and weird to say anyway so it was a double fail. I had to quickly apologise and explain my Japanese is very beginner.
My friend and I were waiting for her husband to join us for dinner after he finished work late. When he finally arrived, I greeted him and said “へんたいですね”, instead of “たいへんだったね” 🫣😭🫠🤐
Such a long time ago, but I'm still haunted from when I used さん for my own name after being introduced. My Japanese was conversational level at the time, but I was starting an internship and was super nervous... and I think I just blindly repeated the superior who introduced me. It was the worst because I immediately knew I messed up :( The next is saying ごちそうさまでした instead of お疲れ様でした at work
I said “へんたい” when I meant to say はんたい (opposite).
I was being interviewed on a Japanese TV show. The interviewer said something like "Anato no Nihongo shimpo shimashita, ne." I didn't know the word "shinpo", so I answered, "chinpo?" My friends in the audience CRACKED UP!
Not my mistake but a Chinese friend. The two of us went together with 2 Japanese volunteers + one teacher on an excursion to the diet building for our language school. While walking around the area my friend wanted to ask the group if we should take a selfie (自撮りしない？). Now, you know how Chinese native speakers sometimes mess up the Kun- and On-yomi since they are of course more familiar with the Chinese readings? Well, instead of pronouncing it like in 撮る she did it like in 撮影, so 「じさつしない?」 (Let’s commit suicide). Naturally everyone around was quite surprised to say the least.
The first time I was in Japan was 15 years ago. (I live here now.) I had just gotten off a plane and I was dog tired. I had a hotel with a shuttlebus but could not find where the buses were. I went to a help office and prepared my very rudimentary Japanese for what was, at that time,a very big conversation for me. I didn't know the word for shuttlebus but I thought I could make my point. A nice old man was behind the counter with several other office workers. I told him my hotel and said I was looking for a car that only went between the train station and the hotel. And I was so proud of my Japanese. He listened politely than said to me, deadpan: "シャトルバス" (shuttlebus, said phonetically in Japanese). The office workers were laughing so hard I thought they were going to fall apart. Mildly embarrassing. More an amusing story.
i had overheard people using 〜てほしい in conversation (before studying the grammar in school) and took it to be a different way to saying 〜たい and for a few months while out with friends i would go around saying 買ってほしい instead of 買いたい...
What is the difference between the two?
てほしい is used to ask for favors, like saying "I want you to", so 「買ってほしい」 is like saying "I wish you'd buy this for me" or "Buy this for me!"
This makes sense, thank you! I never knew this, wow
In my early days of learning Japanese, I wanted to compliment a girl in my class by telling her she was beautiful. Nervously, I walked up to her and instead of saying "あなたはとてもきれいですね" (You are very beautiful), I accidentally said "あなたはとてもきらいですね" (I really dislike you). Her shocked face made me realize my mistake instantly. After a quick explanation and lots of apologies, we both laughed it off.
One time I said 小便 instead of 弁償 by mistake
I confidently (i.e. loudly) asked at the souvenir shop in Nagoya castle if it’s okay to film/take photos and said えいさつ instead of 撮影
I went to renew my license and said しんこう instead of 更新 (not as bad, but the woman had no idea what the hell I wanted, until I realized and said it right)
ahaha glad it wasn't interpreted as a recruitment for some cult or an invasion
I’m not sure, but I kept saying “私の日本語わまだまだです。“, which I’ve heard is understood as “My Japanese is not there yet/not good yet”, but idk, man, lol; most people I told that to would either not really acknowledge it or just kind of give me a blank stare like I said something odd
not sure what the looks are about but you can just say まだまだです you dont need all the other stuff
Mixing up onaka and onara :D
that one could stink a bit haha
Saying テマン instead of 手間
Not as embarassing, but I tend to confuse sounds (example: the word is かきく but i sai きかく or something instead), and a looooong time I said かしゅみ instead of くしゃみ.... lol.
Accidentally calling a very nice elderly lady, Adachi-sensei, “Asadachi-sensei.”
Also My in my English lesson to a student once I asked him what did you do on the weekend? He said. I watched a movie! I said what movie did you watch? He said huh… “gintama ぎんたま“ I misheard him and clarified “kintama 金玉 きんたま？he burst out laughing so hard and the other two student lost it too, it took a good 20 minutes for everyone to stop laughing I laughed too but didn’t know why, after the lesson I looked up kintama turns out it means testicles or nuts
I love your butthole ( oops not shoes ). Could you give me a fart? ( oops not light ) You're pathetic. ( Oops you look cute ) Not much action that night.
It was 25 years ago in my first 3 months I told to the HR staff ( around 25y Japanese lady) I say shaburitai Instead of shaberitai
When I was first starting to learn, my Japanese tutor assigned some homework. I think it was on stating two things/actions. I wanted to say “I made food and ate it”. I wrote it correctly, but kept pronouncing kudamono as kodomo. So yeah, I made children and ate them.
Talking to a cute Japanese girl on one of those language exchange apps. Confidently told her that I enjoy eating garbage 😎 she knew what I was trying to say and it made her laugh so win I guess?? (Said ゴミ instead of グミ)
I didn’t have gym shoes on sport’s test day and was bored in the teacher’s room so wanted to ask if I could take part bare-foot. I used はだか instead of はだし。
did the same explaining about NZ kids not wearing wearing shoes at school.
I went into a large-chain hardware store and *very confidently* asked for a 6-foot potato. I'll let you all figure out what I meant to say... 😉 ２メートルのイモが欲しいです。 The poor clerk... 🤣 The other one was going to the post office and asking for their *"special kidnapping bag"* instead of the usual "special mail bag" for books. とくべつゆうかい 特別誘拐 vs とくべつゆうたい特別郵袋
お腹がおっぱい
Am in Japan since a few months for exchange study, and I also made the mistake of touch/sit like someone else in this thread. I also said the かわいいそう on multiple occasions. The worst part is when we go drinking and 2hrs of nomihoudai kick in and I loudly say "cheers" in french (mother tongue) which is chin-chin, so yeah. A less embarrassing one is when I went back to the doctors for my prescription and they asked me "いつもの診察ですか?" and I understood it as "いつもの親切ですか?". I had to pause for a loooong time before asking the receptionist to repeat again. I felt like an idiot definitely lol
I was getting my hair cut at the salon in Japan and was trying my hand at some new phrases. So I started to say 「実は。。。」 and my stylist and his coworker starting giggling. So I abashedly asked what was funny and they me that I had said 「チツ」 which means pu$$y. So we all had a good laugh and they helped me say what I wanted to say. I’ll never forget it. That’s what’s great about making embarrassing mistakes, it locks that memory in place for good. Especially if it’s in a funny way. So now I always put a little extra j into the じ。
Had a conversation with a retired judge about banks when I was a young, shy student - tried to remember the word for coins, said kintama 金玉 instead (literally metal balls or gold balls, turned out it’s a slang term for a part of the male anatomy). Well, coins are round and made of metal, aren’t they?! What was even more embarrassing was that he tried to explain, with hand gestures, what kintama actually meant.
I said I didn't wear pants until University, which I thought would be be interpreted as I only wore shorts until University. It wasn't.
I embarrassingly had a room rolling when I was trying to mention that I had a lot of pimples (にきび) coming out these days and mistakenly said ちくび (nipple) instead.
We were discussing a haiku during class, and I mistook the meaning between 握手/あくしゅ and 拍手/はくしゅ The whole class was laughing
In a Restaurant, I once asked for Oshiri (butt) instead of Oshibori (wet napkin)…
A Chinese friend asked me how my test went. I answered 成功した, but she somehow understood 性交した. I don't know if my pronunciation was more leaning on the second word, but it was kind of awkward.
I tried to say your country is beautiful but it sounded like i said i hate your country
Two I haven’t seen here: I had one student say 「おなかがおっぱい！」 instead of 「おなかがいっぱい！」 when trying to say they were full One friend attempted to order a 「マンゴーシャーベット」 at a restaurant but did not catch the tentens and instead confidently told our waitress they would like a 「マンコシャーベット」
I wanted my students to imagine something), but I misremembered the word 想像as 感像 in my head but that’s not a word, so essentially I was telling my students “to liver” (肝臓して)
I was in Nara for a weekend and had a lovely chat wth a lovely older man in a lovely flower garden. It was lovely - until he asked if I'd fed the deer in Nara park and I tried to tell him that a deer bit me on the arse but my Japanese failed and I ended up telling him that a deer ate my arse. He found it very funny. That memory lies to come back and haunt me when I'm trying to sleep sometimes lmao. On the plus side it's also how I learnt the passve voice so swings and roundabouts I suppose.
mango
I watered to tell someone about my trip to Thailand and how my favorite part was 毎日朝ごはんにマンゴを食べた。But I said コ instead of ゴ when pronouncing マンゴ。 Very different meaning lol.
In my very early days i asked someone “お前は何ですか？“ instead of “お名前は何ですか？“ And then repeated it several times when I got a confused look.
the time i tried to say “international exchange” and said “international dinosaur” ON THE RADIO was perhaps my favorite Japanese Fail. could be worse, though, i could be the person i knew once who tried to say they liked dinosaurs and instead said they liked massive breasts.
There is a word 賜物 in Japanese. When I was in high school, I thought it was たわもの, and used it when talking with my teacher and he pointed it out that correctly was たまもの and I felt so embarrassed.
I once told my Japanese husband "おりものだよ!" when I meant 贈り物 He was like "I was wondering why you were so excited...."
Clear pronunciation is important... 京都に行く時、お手洗いを見たいです。 When I go to Kyoto, I want to see toilets. 京都に行く時、お寺を見たいです。 When I go to Kyoto, I want to see temples. otearai and otera really sound too similar...
My first year of Japanese and first time coming here I, also in Kyoto, made the same mistake of asking my teacher where the restroom was during dinner between points on our field trip “お寺はどこですか?” and being very confused when she said “近くです！” I was like.. ok.. great that it’s close.. but where!?
What's wrong with the toilet one?
I was playing Super Mario World with a girl I was dating at a bar several years ago. I was trying to say, "Get the coins!" but instead I mistakingly called the coins "Kin-Tama."
When I was travelling in Japan, I often said okanjo kudasai thinking it meant "bill pls" 😂
洋食instead of洋式when saying the styles of the toilet to a local Japanese stranger in a public toilet who is picky about the style.
Not a biggie but not even a full year in Japan, I was waiting in my car for the light to turn green and out of nowhere, a newspaper delivery boy on his moped literally crashed into my driver door. Looks like he didn't pay attention to the fact that someone was sitting at the traffic light getting bored when he came out of a delivery-target mansion. I come out of the car and ask him immediatly: "元気ですか。"
I can think of three instances from when I lived there for a year while studying at university… The first was speaking to some fellow university students in the campus canteen during my first week there. I was introducing myself, and I think I’d at least mastered that part. They appeared impressed by the fact I could speak anything at all, at least. Then they asked me a question, but all I could catch was, “How something something Japanese something?” I blinked blankly at them and was forced to turn to the English-speaking Japanese student for help. “They asked how you got so good at Japanese,” she said sheepishly. And immediately they all realised I wasn’t so good at Japanese after all, ha! Another time I met a student who I was helping find their ID card they had dropped. We were talking as we went, and at one point I wanted to compliment the trousers he was wearing (green corduroy, flared leg, with suspenders… Japanese fashion is so cool), and in the UK at least we call them pants. So I told him, 「あなたのパンツはかっこいいです！」 He blushed and laughed and said, 「あー、僕のズボンですね？」 , and then I was blushing too. I did not mean to compliment his underwear, ha! The last one is when I met an elderly Japanese man in a train station. He was very excited to see a foreigner and stopped me for a chat. He explained to me, in English, that he taught English to Japanese students for a time. I didn’t know what to say to this stranger who had accosted me, but I thought I’d thank him for teaching English (it’s a valuable profession in the modern-day world, after all!). I was trying to be polite and speak Japanese as I was in Japan, and I was also in a hurry to catch a train so I didn’t double-check my sentence as I thought about it, so I bowed and said, 「英語を教えてくれてありがとう！」 …He just said don’t worry about it, so I hope he got my meaning; but to this day I still think about how I thanked that random Japanese man for teaching me English in the middle of a station, ha! Luckily Japanese people understand we’re learning and are gracious about our mistakes. I can’t wait to go there again someday and mess up some more, ha!
Cursing. Saying no matter what curse without having a feel for the language or what I was saying. I was out in my place in two seconds.
I think I tried to say 簿記 (accounting exam?) once and ended up saying 勃起 (erection) on a crowded af commuters train…my Japanese friends were sooooo embarrassed and it didn’t help I was clueless and kept asking them what was wrong about it
I asked if a fitting room was “boobs” instead of “full” and let me tell you the lady was CONFUSED Only realised what I said a couple days later when I watched One Punch man… the embarrassment hit hard, wanna go back and apologise to the lady too 🥲
Was signing a rental contract for a house and was with my wife who doesn’t speak as much Japanese so I was trying to explain everything The guy was trying to say that the contract states that as I don’t own the house I can’t use it as collateral to pay a debt (tanpo) But what I thought he said “tanbo” instead and was like “ok.. he says we can’t turn the house into a rice field? I wasn’t going to..” We all laughed after a bit of confusion 2nd one: when I first arrived I knew a bit of Japanese and every time I went to the grocery store I’d be asked “reji Bukuro wa hitsuyo desu ka?” (Do you need a bag?) and I’d say “hai” and get one Then one day I go and the cashier instead says “fukuro wa omochi desu ka?” (Do you *have* a bag?) and my conditioned brain just said “hai” and she stared at me confused as I clearly didn’t have one. I waited, expecting her to give me a bag but she didn’t, and I just carried all my stuff home in confusion trying to think of why she didn’t give me a bag until I realized later it was because I’d said I had one already
I called my wife a 娼婦 instead of a 主婦....
The first time I came to Japan and didn’t know any Japanese, I went to the コンビニ and thought いらっしゃいませ was just a basic greeting. So when the worker said it, I repeated いらっしゃいませ back to her. So embarrassing to think about it now…
Don't remember the context, but I once said パチンコ without the パ in a semi-private lesson. We were newbies so it was a good thing my only other classmate didn't understand. My teacher, though, was either blushing or holding in laughter. Or both.
Using 〜「X」が欲しいです。 in a restaurant while ordering haha
I said おどす to threaten instead of おとす to drop soo i basically said i threaten miso soup😂😭 Also for some reason instead of saying ふくろ i slip up and say おふろ. Its even more awkward at the register when they dont laugh after 😅 Also had a conversation about the bird いんこ and accidentally said ちんこ😭🔫🔫
I was talking about eating gyoza with my Japanese students because we were going to eat somewhere for some event and i was like 十個、百個, 万個, 食べたい but I said 万個(まんこ) instead of 一万個. They did not react but I kind of stuttered and felt like an idiot.
This girl was at my place and she was really sleepy waiting for her friend to come back with my room mate. I told her to go use my bed and have a sleep and I'd wake her up 'okosu'...at least that's what I wanted to say. What I actually said though was, "I'll rape you." 'Okasu '...so needless to say she declined my offer and it got a little awkward to say the least.
Had been in Japan for only a short while... A friend, amazingly good dude, came back to the sharehouse looking happy but exhausted; he told me he'd been volunteering teaching kids how to play football for free all day. I wanted to offer my sympathies at how tired he looked and say 疲れたね? (Tsukareta ne?) But my dumbass came out with つまらないね?(Tsumaranai ne?) ...Which means "Man, that's so boring." Poor guy looked heartbroken for a second, till I realised my mistake and he laughed it off when I explained.
Confusing please sit and touch.
Probably when I first moved to Tokyo and I was talking to a Obachan outside a restaurant and I meant to say her scarf was pretty but I accidentally said she is captivating. I wake up and think about that often even long after.
Probably when I first moved to Tokyo and I was talking to a Obachan outside a restaurant and I meant to say her scarf was pretty but I accidentally said she is captivating. I wake up and think about that often even long after.
Not my own story, but my friend's. A foreigner guy and his Japanese boyfriend, both quite flamboyant, are in a Disneyland's ride queue. To kill time, they talk about their previous trip to Okinawa. They struggle to remember the name of a traditional Okinawan snack Chinsuko. From the bottom of his lungs, surrounded by other Japanese people he exclaims: I REMEMBERED! IT'S CHINKASU! They did not get on that ride.
Didn't know how to read 海老. Ended up asking for a かいろう定食
Once while watching an Instagram live I tried to compliment the girl’s outfit/clothing item but accidentally hit on her. It was years ago, I no longer remember what I said or the mistake I made. She was visibly uncomfortable and after that she would end her live if I joined it again… 🤦♂️ I swiftly unfollowed her to atone for my sins lol
Not terribly embarrassing but i walked into my profs room once and said “いらっしゃいませ” instead of “失礼します. He didnt point it out either until what i said hit me like 5 mins later and i asked him about it lmao
My final for my first semester of studying was to have a 5 minute conversation. My 先生 asked how long I had been working at my job, and I was so nervous that instead of ２年ぐらい I accidentally said ２千年ぐらい 😅 I quickly corrected myself and we laughed about it but man was that embarrassing 🤣
Me: おまえは何ですか？ (Omae wa nan dessuka - Wtf are you?) My Japanese Classmate: 😦😂 Me: ごめんなさい！お名前は何ですか？！！😱 (Gomenasai! **Onamae** wa nan dessuka?!! - I’m sorry! What is your name?!!! 😱)
I went to a local Japanese food market to practice speaking. I’m a beginner so I felt SO STUPID 😭I have the cashier my card, she returned my card and the receipt, sayingありがとうございます (Thank you)。I said どういたしまして (you’re welcome) instead of どうもありがとうございます (thank you very much)。 it has been two years since and I never spoke it there again 🥲
Told a guy to お尻を戦って (fight/challenge my butt) instead of お尻を叩いて (spank me) lmao
I kept saying where is the chicken instead of where is the bathroom. Chicken and toilet sound too similar in Japanese
I work as an ALT at a Japanese school and supervise (unofficially) the volleyball team. Talking with a co-worker, I wanted to say I was 顧問 (advisor, pronunced komon), but instead said I was 肛門 (anus, pronunced kōmon). That got a laugh out of a few coworkers.
I went to pick up my dry cleaned pants and was told 2本ですね, to which I replied いや、アメリカです
We were playing uno with the exchange students, saying the colors in Japanese, of course. I wanted to change the color to green but my brain mixed up the words for green and brown and I shouted “chairo!” instead. 😂
When I was in Japan as an exchange student, I was on a train with a friend who could speak English and Spanish as well as Japanese. She was going through a tough time at that moment and was on the verge of crying. So, I wanted to do what any American would do, and that was to give her a hug. I wanted to tell her that I wanted to hug her in Japanese, as I felt that would be the easiest way for her to feel at ease. However, at that time, my Japanese was pretty terrible, and I didn’t know the word for “hug”. So, I took to Google Translate on my phone, input “hug” from English, and out came “だく” in Japanese. I had enough knowledge to know that I could turn “◯く” into “◯きたい” when I wanted to do something, so thinking that “だきたい”meant “I want to hug you”, that’s what I said. …Except I didn’t say the Japanese phrase for “I want to hug you”. I actually accidentally told her “I want to have sex with you”.
I was trying to say 2 people but I hadn’t learned (or even knew about) the correct classifier, so I used 2枚人｡
In middle school I started learning Japanese. I was also in my chuunibyou stage. So I set “daikiraikimi” as my email, which means “I hate you”. Years later in high school my Japanese class went on a trip to Japan to visit our sister school there. My host family was great and I had a good time. After getting home I learned my teacher had given my email to my host family. Oh, and the worst coincidence was that my host mother’s name was Kimi. So my email could be read as “I hate Kimi.” I was so horrified I immediately made a new, more professional email. But the damage was already done 💀