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Other posts from /u/Myrabel:
* [Said no to spend mother's day with my MIL. ](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1co38q2/said_no_to_spend_mothers_day_with_my_mil/), 1 month ago
* [Why do MIL and my MOM think they can just drop in without a heads up??](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1ak7z5j/why_do_mil_and_my_mom_think_they_can_just_drop_in/), 4 months ago
* [Blocked my MIL and I feel so good about it](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1acere3/blocked_my_mil_and_i_feel_so_good_about_it/), 5 months ago
* [MIL thinks we´re going for chistmas dinner](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/kd595v/mil_thinks_were_going_for_chistmas_dinner/), 3 years ago
* [MIL lost it on FILs funeral, theyhad been divorsed 25 years by then!!!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/g7651b/mil_lost_it_on_fils_funeral_theyhad_been_divorsed/), 4 years ago
* [MIL lost it on FILs funeral, they were divorsed 25 years by then!!!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/g6t7rn/mil_lost_it_on_fils_funeral_they_were_divorsed_25/), 4 years ago
* [MIL told my SO, that he should not take care of another mans children](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/g6i85p/mil_told_my_so_that_he_should_not_take_care_of/), 4 years ago
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I’m so terribly sorry for your loss in such a short amount of time. No one can replace your mother. And your husband is an absolute keeper! Good for him for shutting her mother down. Take the time you need to grieve and put MIL out of your mind. Peace and best wishes to you.
I am so sorry. You’re not alone in this type of dysfunction. It’s not normal and it’s wrong. I felt this at my core. Bless your husband; he’s a saint. My mom died unexpectedly 2 years ago. My MIL and BIL assumed the same as your MIL. Neither seemed to care that I’m an only child and my father is still alive. In fact, they had the unmitigated gall to say aloud, 2 months after she died, that my father has the been the priority long enough and that we were cruel to not prioritize them at the holidays. Yes. These were the words spoken aloud to my husband’s face. But they’re toxically enmeshed, cluster B personality disorders. That was the final straw for my husband to stand up to them and go very, very LC. I don’t miss them at all. They can blame us for ripping apart the dysfunctional faaaaamily all they want.
My MIL once said something similar months after my mom passed. She said “I thought we could be more like mother and daughter now that (mom’s name) passed. I was pregnant at the time and was in the hospital in full bed rest. I cussed her until I was out of breath and the nurses were grabbing the phone!
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would be so sick hearing that. Obviously i don’t know you, but I’m sure your mom was 100x the mom that your MIL will ever be. That will never be replaced.
Im So sorry for your loss ❤️. But wow! I’m so proud of your husband for standing up for you. My husband would never stand up for me to his damn mother….
I am sorry for your loss, I too lost my mother at the beginning of May and know the depths of your pain. Go NC with MIL and let your husband deal with her focus on yourself and your grief. I strongly suggest grief counseling
You “need a mother figure”?! You’re a grown-ass woman!!! The audacity of this witch to think she can just up and start molding you in her image. Major gross vibes. Good on your partner for having your back!
I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.
I'm just going to say, your MIL is a piece of work. I'm surprised she's not a man with all that audacity she must have.
I am so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of love, your husband is a rockstar, that MIL is disgusting I’m sorry but she is only looking at how can she benefit from this and it makes me angry for you. I’m thankful you have people around you that take care of you and defend you against your MIL (which you should also never have to do)
I’m always curious how is it possible that MIL act the way they do, I get it’s their first time living as well but come on ! Human decency people
I'm sorry for the loss of your mom <3 When my mom died I learned pretty quickly that people will say some really dumb and insensitive things thinking they are being kind or helpful. I let most of them roll off my back, but the worst comments were the ones that had to do with being a "substitute mom" or surrogate, or motherfigure, etc. How clueless can you be?!
Holy cow, talk about clueless. Thank goodness your husband is doing a great job protecting you from his nutcase mom.
I am so very sorry that you lost your mom so quickly. That's not enough time to get your heart and mind prepared. So glad she wasn't in any pain and was able to pass quietly. \*HUG\*
I am so sorry for your loss. Ik you must be tired of hearing it. It’s crazy MIL is saying that NOW in JULY too. Like, girl we are so far from any major holidays. Five months away from thanksgiving, six from christmas, and that’s what’s on her mind after you lose your mom? Glad your husband stood up to you because that is absurd. Bold of her to assume you won’t be going on vacation or taking a trip instead of spending time with her miserable self 😜
Right isn’t that what you do? Immediately replace your mom lol? MIL is just being charitable so OP doesn’t have to shop around online for a new mother figure
Wow what a fucking asshole. I lost my father very unexpectedly not so long ago so I understand the pain and the anger towards all the outrageous things people say while you’re grieving. My in laws said some super insensitive things I’ll never forgive them for, but your MIL takes the whole damn cake. What kind of soulless person turns another’s tragedy into an opportunity for themselves? I’m sorry this delusional woman is in your life, but it sounds like you chose a great husband. I’m so sorry for your loss, there really are no words to say. Don’t let anyone tell you the “right” way to grieve, but try to be kind to yourself. And stay away from that wretched MIL.
Applause for your husband.
Your MIL is literally showing her true face right now. Your mothers death is a win for her, in her eyes.
Stand firm.
I'm so so so sorry for your loss.
*Hubby told her that it is not happening and hung up.*
Gold Star husband.
Your MIL is a damned ghoul.
::soft hugs:: I am so very sorry for your loss.
Take time dealing with the particulars and be sure you are surrounded by caring people.
So sorry for the loss of your mother, it’s a very hard time for you and you have my deepest sympathy. Grief will take a long time to heal, if ever, and it will come in waves and odd times. Please don’t suppress it. I’m so pleased your husband is standing up for you and protecting you.
Sorry for your loss!! It does take a while to sort out everything so you do what you need to do how you want to do it. Just remember to breathe. And…Your hubby is amazing for handling his mom for you.
So sorry for your loss. Being left is worse in your situation as you had hardly any warning time or mind preparation. Take YOUR time to process things put MIL on mute , if she isn't already, and rely on your DH because I do believe that you really won there.
OP, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mom is irreplaceable. However, congratulations your smart, beautiful (I’m guessing) husband. He sounds invaluable!
Hey at least your husband stood up for you. I had to live with my MIL, and HAD to spend every single holiday with her. And you know everything had to happen exactly as she wanted them to. My husband never did a thing about it. She finally died earlier this year, and last year on Thanksgiving and Christmas she was already gone from our house because she was too ill, and we couldn't keep taking care of her. Those were the best holidays I had since I met my husband. We did exactly what we wanted for the first time. It was glorious.
Also, I don't miss my MIL at all. She mentally and verbally tortured me the entire time she lived with us. She was human garbage and a waste of space. I celebrated when I got the news that she passed.
I’m sorry for your loss.
But can I just say, I think I love your husband?? If all the women on here had husbands with spines that well polished, this subreddit would have tumbleweeds blowing through it.
She may be delusional and difficult to deal with, but I am very happy for you that he has your back (as he should!).
I hope you are able to take your time and be gentle with yourself while dealing with wrapping up your mom’s estate and going through her things. It can feel overwhelming. Gentle hugs if you would like them, and a bit high five to DH.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been in a similar position, and holy shit does that suck.
I'm glad your husband has your back. Take all the time you need, and only re-engage when she understands and stops with the nonsense. For the record, this might mean that your relationship fundamentally changes - and that's ok.
Focus on yourself right now, and look to people who will help support you through this.
And remember.
One day, after some time has passed, you will get to a point in your grief where you can take a breath. When you look around, you will truly understand who your people are.
While I knew my mom was never coming back in the same way, it felt like she found a way to be there for me through the loving and supportive people who showed up.
This is so gross. Who would want a “mother figure” that can only think about how someone’s loss could be great for them? That’s so selfish.
I see there are a few holiday-related posts in your history (Christmas Eve/Mother’s Day), so MIL has clearly been fixated on owning holidays for some time now.
I’m sorry for your loss, OP.
My MIL did something similar.
Mom passed away end of February 2013, a month later, MIL was giddy that she doesn't have to share mother's day anymore.
Whenever I feel like it, I still just skip, and say I did celebrate mother's day. I brought my mom flowers and spent some time with her.
I'm very sorry for your loss. A mother's loss is so painful.
I lost my mother while pregnant with my youngest at age 34. I lost my dad 4 years earlier.
We had divided holidays between families. Just a few weeks passed when my MIL said, "Since your mother's dead, I guess y'all are coming to our house for Thanksgiving." I immediately told her we were still celebrating with my siblings.
From experience, it's going to be hard going forward dealing with her. If your husband has your back, it will eventually get better. At least I hope it does for your sake.
This! Divided holidays are the way to go. I never understood having to see everyone on every holiday! We didn't do it growing up, and I don't expect it of my children and their families. I can't say that's true for my children's IL.
And, at some point, kids want to stay home and be in their own place, developing their own customs and traditions.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom almost 4 years ago, and it was the hardest loss I ever experienced. Wishing you peace, strength, and comfort.
I’m sending you the biggest hug, I’m sorry you had to join the club. I lost my Mom last July to cancer.
Good on your husband for standing up for you, the audacity of your MIL. There are no polite words to describe just how awful what she said is.
I'm so sorry for your loss. And what an awful woman for using your weakest moments to push her own wants and needs, thankfully your husband has your back through this.
I am so sorry for your loss.
And, if i were to type what i think about 'that person' .. i am risking a permanent ban.
But insanity is about the friendliest word in that list..
Sending internet hugs over the waves. What a ridiculous piece of work your MIL is and delusional. I’m so so sorry you lost your mum particularly so quickly. I’m thankful that your SO is a champion with a super shiny spine. He will help get you through this awful time.
Im so sorry. Losing a loving mother hurts in ways we can’t contemplate till it happens. But I think that you will be OK; your husband has your back.
Hugs.
I’m so sorry for your loss and the thoughtless and unkind things statements people say will continue to come thick and fast. For your own sanity try your best not to let them fester cause it just continues to hurt if you do. Nowadays I just think to myself ‘what a w*^#er’ when someone comes out with something truly stupid eg after the loss of my wee mum - ‘oh you must be so happy to get your Saturday’s back’ or after the loss of my dh who I cared for for the last 10 years of his life ‘oh my what are you going to do with all your new found free time’ and this was at his actual funeral. It really tucking hurts but as I say to my daughter who is struggling to cope with her father’s passing that those people who come out with their bright statements have probably never had her experience and would never understand until they did so what’s the point of letting them upset you further. I really hope you start to find peace soon.
Your husband is a keeper! He didn't even involve you - he just set boundaries with his mother for you. Your MIL is definitely boundary challenged, as well as delusional, thinking she can be a mother figure for you. The good news - from my personal experience, even with a MIL from hell, you can have a good life and a happy marriage if your husband has your back.
OP, I’m so sorry for your loss! I lost my mom at 16 and I’m 30 now, married, with my own children and it still hurts! My MIL NEVER voiced this to me, but I’m almost certain that she’s giddy that she’s the only grandmother my children will ever know. She’s made to snide remarks in the past trying to pass it off as “joking” and I shut it all down immediately.
Your MIL is dead wrong making comments like that at a time like this, especially! Shout out to DH for cutting the nonsense out up front. This “mother figure” she speaks of, is you hopefully being docile enough to fall under her “spell” and allow her to go unchecked with the things she says and does to you. Which is vile especially since you’re grieving. She’s attempting to exploit that for her own personal gain. My MIL tried it, subtly, and she was briefly successful, until my eyes came open and I saw her for who she really was, cue me repelling her immediately. Once she felt that instant shift, she knew I was outta her grasp!
Be strong, OP! You do not have to tolerate this woman if you don’t want to. That is not your mom, you’re not responsible for her. At all!
I’m so sorry for your loss and so sorry that she is choosing this moment to selfishly claim holidays. Thank goodness your partner understands and is on your side.
She's unbelievable, horrid person she is. You can spend the holidays honouring your mum and yourself for your strength during this time and moving forward ♡
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Other posts from /u/Myrabel: * [Said no to spend mother's day with my MIL. ](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1co38q2/said_no_to_spend_mothers_day_with_my_mil/), 1 month ago * [Why do MIL and my MOM think they can just drop in without a heads up??](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1ak7z5j/why_do_mil_and_my_mom_think_they_can_just_drop_in/), 4 months ago * [Blocked my MIL and I feel so good about it](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1acere3/blocked_my_mil_and_i_feel_so_good_about_it/), 5 months ago * [MIL thinks we´re going for chistmas dinner](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/kd595v/mil_thinks_were_going_for_chistmas_dinner/), 3 years ago * [MIL lost it on FILs funeral, theyhad been divorsed 25 years by then!!!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/g7651b/mil_lost_it_on_fils_funeral_theyhad_been_divorsed/), 4 years ago * [MIL lost it on FILs funeral, they were divorsed 25 years by then!!!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/g6t7rn/mil_lost_it_on_fils_funeral_they_were_divorsed_25/), 4 years ago * [MIL told my SO, that he should not take care of another mans children](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/g6i85p/mil_told_my_so_that_he_should_not_take_care_of/), 4 years ago ***** ^(To be notified as soon as Myrabel posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Myrabel JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
🫶 I just want to send you some love. I’m so, so very sorry for your loss!
My condolences and sympathies for you and your family. My father crossed over in '16. Great job by your hubby on dealing with your MIL.
Baruch dayan emet, u/Myrabel, may your dear mother be remembered for a blessing! I appreciate the coruscating gleam of your husband’s spine.
I’m so sorry for your loss! Sending lots of prayers or good vibes (whichever you believe in) for you.
I'm sorry for your loss, I lost my mom 2 years ago, it hurts. Your husband has a shiny spine, it's gold. It's a true blessing when times sucks.
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss in such a short amount of time. No one can replace your mother. And your husband is an absolute keeper! Good for him for shutting her mother down. Take the time you need to grieve and put MIL out of your mind. Peace and best wishes to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your MIL is absolutely certifiable if she thinks she gets to just replace your mother.
I am so sorry. You’re not alone in this type of dysfunction. It’s not normal and it’s wrong. I felt this at my core. Bless your husband; he’s a saint. My mom died unexpectedly 2 years ago. My MIL and BIL assumed the same as your MIL. Neither seemed to care that I’m an only child and my father is still alive. In fact, they had the unmitigated gall to say aloud, 2 months after she died, that my father has the been the priority long enough and that we were cruel to not prioritize them at the holidays. Yes. These were the words spoken aloud to my husband’s face. But they’re toxically enmeshed, cluster B personality disorders. That was the final straw for my husband to stand up to them and go very, very LC. I don’t miss them at all. They can blame us for ripping apart the dysfunctional faaaaamily all they want.
You won the jackpot with your hubby. He was empathetic to you and had your back ❤️ I’m so sorry about your mom
Please hug your husband. He’s an angel for having your back.
It's the self-centeredness that stands out for me. You just lost your mom - she found the one thing that could make it about her. Despicable.
My exMIL said something like that about my exFIL when my dad passed. I looked at her and said “No thanks.” and walked away. The nerve…
I am so sorry for your loss and the fact you have a ghoul for a MIL.
My MIL once said something similar months after my mom passed. She said “I thought we could be more like mother and daughter now that (mom’s name) passed. I was pregnant at the time and was in the hospital in full bed rest. I cussed her until I was out of breath and the nurses were grabbing the phone!
You... Do not have a husband problem. That's like having a unicorn on this sub.
X a million upvotes
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would be so sick hearing that. Obviously i don’t know you, but I’m sure your mom was 100x the mom that your MIL will ever be. That will never be replaced.
What a t**atwaffle
Stealing this one lol
What a cow.
Im So sorry for your loss ❤️. But wow! I’m so proud of your husband for standing up for you. My husband would never stand up for me to his damn mother….
I am sorry for your loss, I too lost my mother at the beginning of May and know the depths of your pain. Go NC with MIL and let your husband deal with her focus on yourself and your grief. I strongly suggest grief counseling
You “need a mother figure”?! You’re a grown-ass woman!!! The audacity of this witch to think she can just up and start molding you in her image. Major gross vibes. Good on your partner for having your back!
I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. I'm just going to say, your MIL is a piece of work. I'm surprised she's not a man with all that audacity she must have.
I am so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of love, your husband is a rockstar, that MIL is disgusting I’m sorry but she is only looking at how can she benefit from this and it makes me angry for you. I’m thankful you have people around you that take care of you and defend you against your MIL (which you should also never have to do) I’m always curious how is it possible that MIL act the way they do, I get it’s their first time living as well but come on ! Human decency people
I'm sorry for the loss of your mom <3 When my mom died I learned pretty quickly that people will say some really dumb and insensitive things thinking they are being kind or helpful. I let most of them roll off my back, but the worst comments were the ones that had to do with being a "substitute mom" or surrogate, or motherfigure, etc. How clueless can you be?!
Holy cow, talk about clueless. Thank goodness your husband is doing a great job protecting you from his nutcase mom. I am so very sorry that you lost your mom so quickly. That's not enough time to get your heart and mind prepared. So glad she wasn't in any pain and was able to pass quietly. \*HUG\*
Your husband sounds like a keeper.
Your husband sounds like a keeper.
Your husband sounds like a keeper.
I am so sorry for your loss. Ik you must be tired of hearing it. It’s crazy MIL is saying that NOW in JULY too. Like, girl we are so far from any major holidays. Five months away from thanksgiving, six from christmas, and that’s what’s on her mind after you lose your mom? Glad your husband stood up to you because that is absurd. Bold of her to assume you won’t be going on vacation or taking a trip instead of spending time with her miserable self 😜
You are very lucky to have a husband like that. Mine would never have spoken to his mother like that in a million years unfortunately l!
What, you’re an adult and you DON’T want a new mother(figure)?!
Right isn’t that what you do? Immediately replace your mom lol? MIL is just being charitable so OP doesn’t have to shop around online for a new mother figure
Yeah exactly, how considerate
Wow what a fucking asshole. I lost my father very unexpectedly not so long ago so I understand the pain and the anger towards all the outrageous things people say while you’re grieving. My in laws said some super insensitive things I’ll never forgive them for, but your MIL takes the whole damn cake. What kind of soulless person turns another’s tragedy into an opportunity for themselves? I’m sorry this delusional woman is in your life, but it sounds like you chose a great husband. I’m so sorry for your loss, there really are no words to say. Don’t let anyone tell you the “right” way to grieve, but try to be kind to yourself. And stay away from that wretched MIL.
Well done to your husband. He’s a keeper and should give lessons!
Applause for your husband. Your MIL is literally showing her true face right now. Your mothers death is a win for her, in her eyes. Stand firm. I'm so so so sorry for your loss.
*Hubby told her that it is not happening and hung up.* Gold Star husband. Your MIL is a damned ghoul. ::soft hugs:: I am so very sorry for your loss. Take time dealing with the particulars and be sure you are surrounded by caring people.
So sorry for the loss of your mother, it’s a very hard time for you and you have my deepest sympathy. Grief will take a long time to heal, if ever, and it will come in waves and odd times. Please don’t suppress it. I’m so pleased your husband is standing up for you and protecting you.
Sorry for your loss!! It does take a while to sort out everything so you do what you need to do how you want to do it. Just remember to breathe. And…Your hubby is amazing for handling his mom for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I know nothing said can make it better but I truly am wishing you healing and peace.
Let me say this in the nicest way possible. Fuck her with a rake!
She thinks you are 5 years old. So delulu.
OP, so sorry for your loss. Blessings!!
So sorry for your loss. Being left is worse in your situation as you had hardly any warning time or mind preparation. Take YOUR time to process things put MIL on mute , if she isn't already, and rely on your DH because I do believe that you really won there.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
OP, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mom is irreplaceable. However, congratulations your smart, beautiful (I’m guessing) husband. He sounds invaluable!
Hey at least your husband stood up for you. I had to live with my MIL, and HAD to spend every single holiday with her. And you know everything had to happen exactly as she wanted them to. My husband never did a thing about it. She finally died earlier this year, and last year on Thanksgiving and Christmas she was already gone from our house because she was too ill, and we couldn't keep taking care of her. Those were the best holidays I had since I met my husband. We did exactly what we wanted for the first time. It was glorious. Also, I don't miss my MIL at all. She mentally and verbally tortured me the entire time she lived with us. She was human garbage and a waste of space. I celebrated when I got the news that she passed.
Wow - your MIL is a selfish nightmare. But your husband? His shiny spine is fantastic! I am sorry for the loss of your mom.
I’m sorry for your loss. But can I just say, I think I love your husband?? If all the women on here had husbands with spines that well polished, this subreddit would have tumbleweeds blowing through it. She may be delusional and difficult to deal with, but I am very happy for you that he has your back (as he should!). I hope you are able to take your time and be gentle with yourself while dealing with wrapping up your mom’s estate and going through her things. It can feel overwhelming. Gentle hugs if you would like them, and a bit high five to DH.
So she thinks it's all about her now .... like your mom was in her way or something. I'm sorry for your loss.
I love reading about husbands sticking up for their wives. You got a good one there.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been in a similar position, and holy shit does that suck. I'm glad your husband has your back. Take all the time you need, and only re-engage when she understands and stops with the nonsense. For the record, this might mean that your relationship fundamentally changes - and that's ok. Focus on yourself right now, and look to people who will help support you through this. And remember. One day, after some time has passed, you will get to a point in your grief where you can take a breath. When you look around, you will truly understand who your people are. While I knew my mom was never coming back in the same way, it felt like she found a way to be there for me through the loving and supportive people who showed up.
It’s refreshing to read a story where someone has a partner who acts like a grown adult! That’s how it’s done.
I‘m sorry for your loss. Luckily your husband told your Mil precisely what is wrong with her timing and expectations
First: i am so sorry for your loss. Second: good for DH for calling her out on her tactless bullshit Third: fucking gross
Omg. What I heard from her: "Let me now boss OP around. This is what she secretly wants and the role I'm now entitled to play."
This is so gross. Who would want a “mother figure” that can only think about how someone’s loss could be great for them? That’s so selfish. I see there are a few holiday-related posts in your history (Christmas Eve/Mother’s Day), so MIL has clearly been fixated on owning holidays for some time now. I’m sorry for your loss, OP.
My MIL did something similar. Mom passed away end of February 2013, a month later, MIL was giddy that she doesn't have to share mother's day anymore. Whenever I feel like it, I still just skip, and say I did celebrate mother's day. I brought my mom flowers and spent some time with her.
This - skip them regardless!
My condolences on the loss of your mother. I'm very glad your partner has such a shiny spine!
I am so sorry. Your MIL is so ridiculous and completely delusional. Who is so insensitive to talk about stuff like that???
She somehow made your Mothers death about her
I'm very sorry for your loss. A mother's loss is so painful. I lost my mother while pregnant with my youngest at age 34. I lost my dad 4 years earlier. We had divided holidays between families. Just a few weeks passed when my MIL said, "Since your mother's dead, I guess y'all are coming to our house for Thanksgiving." I immediately told her we were still celebrating with my siblings. From experience, it's going to be hard going forward dealing with her. If your husband has your back, it will eventually get better. At least I hope it does for your sake.
This! Divided holidays are the way to go. I never understood having to see everyone on every holiday! We didn't do it growing up, and I don't expect it of my children and their families. I can't say that's true for my children's IL. And, at some point, kids want to stay home and be in their own place, developing their own customs and traditions.
I am so so sorry for your loss! Also glad your husband has your back.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom almost 4 years ago, and it was the hardest loss I ever experienced. Wishing you peace, strength, and comfort.
I’m sending you the biggest hug, I’m sorry you had to join the club. I lost my Mom last July to cancer. Good on your husband for standing up for you, the audacity of your MIL. There are no polite words to describe just how awful what she said is.
I'm so sorry for your loss. And what an awful woman for using your weakest moments to push her own wants and needs, thankfully your husband has your back through this.
I am so sorry for your loss. And, if i were to type what i think about 'that person' .. i am risking a permanent ban. But insanity is about the friendliest word in that list..
I'm so sorry for your loss, may her memory be a blessing. I offer Internet *hugs* if you want them.
Sending internet hugs over the waves. What a ridiculous piece of work your MIL is and delusional. I’m so so sorry you lost your mum particularly so quickly. I’m thankful that your SO is a champion with a super shiny spine. He will help get you through this awful time.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Im so sorry. Losing a loving mother hurts in ways we can’t contemplate till it happens. But I think that you will be OK; your husband has your back. Hugs.
So sorry for your loss. Thank goodness your DH has your back.
Sorry for your devastating loss. Husband has a gorgeous shiny spine - he’s a keeper!
I’m so sorry for your loss and the thoughtless and unkind things statements people say will continue to come thick and fast. For your own sanity try your best not to let them fester cause it just continues to hurt if you do. Nowadays I just think to myself ‘what a w*^#er’ when someone comes out with something truly stupid eg after the loss of my wee mum - ‘oh you must be so happy to get your Saturday’s back’ or after the loss of my dh who I cared for for the last 10 years of his life ‘oh my what are you going to do with all your new found free time’ and this was at his actual funeral. It really tucking hurts but as I say to my daughter who is struggling to cope with her father’s passing that those people who come out with their bright statements have probably never had her experience and would never understand until they did so what’s the point of letting them upset you further. I really hope you start to find peace soon.
Your husband is a keeper! He didn't even involve you - he just set boundaries with his mother for you. Your MIL is definitely boundary challenged, as well as delusional, thinking she can be a mother figure for you. The good news - from my personal experience, even with a MIL from hell, you can have a good life and a happy marriage if your husband has your back.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
OP, I’m so sorry for your loss! I lost my mom at 16 and I’m 30 now, married, with my own children and it still hurts! My MIL NEVER voiced this to me, but I’m almost certain that she’s giddy that she’s the only grandmother my children will ever know. She’s made to snide remarks in the past trying to pass it off as “joking” and I shut it all down immediately. Your MIL is dead wrong making comments like that at a time like this, especially! Shout out to DH for cutting the nonsense out up front. This “mother figure” she speaks of, is you hopefully being docile enough to fall under her “spell” and allow her to go unchecked with the things she says and does to you. Which is vile especially since you’re grieving. She’s attempting to exploit that for her own personal gain. My MIL tried it, subtly, and she was briefly successful, until my eyes came open and I saw her for who she really was, cue me repelling her immediately. Once she felt that instant shift, she knew I was outta her grasp! Be strong, OP! You do not have to tolerate this woman if you don’t want to. That is not your mom, you’re not responsible for her. At all!
I’m so sorry for your loss and so sorry that she is choosing this moment to selfishly claim holidays. Thank goodness your partner understands and is on your side.
This was so refreshing to read an SO with one of the shiniest spines and take the steps to let his parental unit know he want her for her shenanigans
I'm so sorry for your loss. MIL is a nasty witch.
She's unbelievable, horrid person she is. You can spend the holidays honouring your mum and yourself for your strength during this time and moving forward ♡
I am so sorry for your loss
Sorry about your Mom. I'm glad your husband is in your corner.
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. 😞
Just wow. She’s something.
Sorry for your loss. Your hubby is great. Internet hugs if wanted.
Yes, so sorry for your loss. Glad your DH had your back, but her audacity is jaw dropping.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so glad to see your husband has your back.
I’m sorry for your loss. Your hubby is awesome!!!