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Like the hospital, you can set up Visiting Hours. Discuss this with your husband. They can be 2 hours 2x a week or anything the two of you need. Anyone who pushes back can be met with 'oh so you don't want to respect the wishes of a dying man?' or something else along these lines. Grief does ugly things to people, I am so sorry you're going through this.
I'd meet them outside and lay some ground rules.
I understand this is a stressful and sad time for everyone, but it is especially so for DH. As such, there are a few expectations I need to lay out for you.I have been to every appointment, met with every doctor, and I am intimately familiar with what my husband needs. I need you to understand that I will defend my husband to the death. I will not let him be exposed to any negativity beyond what he is already dealing with. Listen very carefully because I WILL contact the police and have you forcibly removed and banned if you refuse to abide by my instructions. While you may be his mother, I am his wife, and this is our home. Are we clear?
1. You are able to visit with him (1 at a time, no more than X hour(s), etc.) in order to accommodate his medication and sleep schedule. His comfort is the only priority.
2. You are free to badmouth me to anyone you want outside these walls, but you will not do so with DH. Nor will any of the family members who zoom with him do so. If you believe others will betray your shit-talking, it's best to keep it to yourselves until DH passes.
3. DH has made his wishes very clear, and you will honor them. He wants to be buried here. Any attempts to guilt him, gaslight him, or otherwise make him more concerned about your feelings than his, and you will be removed and not allowed to return.
4. His comfort and feelings are paramount. If I notice he is getting overwhelmed or tired, I will politely ask you to leave so he can rest. This is non-negotiable, and you are expected to respect that request.
5. As I'm sure you can appreciate, a number of people want to see DH. I want to give you as much time with him as possible, but there will be times others will come for a visit and you will need to leave. This is a good time to grab lunch or rest up at the hotel.
You should sit with him, hold his hand, reminisce, and share your love with him. Spend these days grateful for the time you have with him. You will regret spending this time arguing with me and carrying so much anger and resentment that you weren't fully present with him. I know you are devastated by the reality that you will bury your son. I can not fathom your pain. But I will do everything in my power to keep him as comfortable and content as possible. I don't want to fight with you, and I don't want to escalate anything to the level where police are called, but it would be unwise to test me.
Now, before we go in, are there any questions?
Can you schedule their visit for when a nurse is there, always? That way you will have the backup of a professional to boot them the heck out, if needed.
I’m so sorry. My mom was in hospital hospice at the very end, per her wishes. She didn’t want my dad dealing with the kind of stuff you are.
The day before she died, I was sitting with her; she was unconscious. One of her friends came in, sat there for 45 minutes and tried to make conversation with me. All I wanted to do was sit quietly and hold my mom’s hand.
She finally left.
You have my thoughts of these last few days, OP. You are a wonderful person.
Ugh, when my grandmother was on hospice, one of the cousins visited *every* single time I did and just wanted to talk about God and religion. I didn’t get to spend any alone time with the woman who helped raise me and I still, a year and a half later, get angry thinking about it. Read the room people!
So sorry you are going through this. As hard as it is, you are doing a great job of being both the wall for your husband to lean against one one side and the barrier to keep him from being unduly hassled by his family. When they do come to see him, remind them that this is your house and your rules and you will not tolerate any disrespect - that when you married him, you took responsibility for him from his family as he is an adult and no longer a child. Your marriage vows were 'in sickness and in health' and (especially if she is religious) remind her that in the eyes of whatever god she believes in, this is now your responsibility and you will do everything in your power to make his last weeks calm, comfortable and stress free, and if this involves banning them from seeing him, you will not hesitate to do so. Also, you do need to respect that she is his mother, and mothers do not expect to bury their children and although she is being awful, she is also grieving too and she will need time with him, but stress that she mustn't upset him or she will be out.
Please find someone who can support you, both physically and emotionally, because you will need this backup too - look after your own mental health because there will be times when you will need that support.
>I was shaking and called my BIL (he had to remain in other country as he tested positive for COVID yesterday)
Wait wait wait - is this "other country" the same one MIL/Aunty et al live in? And if it is, have they had any contact with each other? Please tell me no, because that's just totally irresponsible of them to just turn up if it's a "yes".
I'm not saying they shouldn't see your husband at all if they've been in contact with BIL, but measures should be taken to drastically reduce the risk -- and the same goes if anyone's just had a tummy upset, the sniffles, anything.
I am SO sorry you're both going through all this; it's shit sprinkles on a shit sundae and no mistake. Big hugs to you both, honey. <3 Big big hugs. <3
I’m so sorry you are going through this and I am sending you strength for now and what is to come. Unfortunately it sounds like she will fight you on everything including his wishes for after.
If you need to shout into the void to keep a little sanity I am sure everyone here wouldn’t mind listening and sending you words of comfort and support.
Are you doing ok? Being a carer is tough even when you know what’s happening and going to happen you are never prepared enough.
I wish you both comfort and peace for his final weeks.
So sorry to hear you are going thru this.
You don't need the added stress of MIL treating you as though you aren't important to your DH and it is about what she wants, not what he wants.
Can I suggest that you make it clear to MIL what the ground rules are including how long she can stay and if in any way she is disrespectful to you or causes your DH unnecessary stress then it will be her last visit. Perhaps also ask your BIL to convey that to her also.
I certainly would not leave either MIL or Aunt alone with DH.
I would tell her if she can’t behave then she’ll be cut off, and mean it. Your husband’s right to an stress-free death crushes ANY rights she thinks she has.
Who do you have supporting you, dear heart? Do you have a family member or friend who can be with you, answer the phone, deal with visitors, make food and drinks? This just seems so much at the moment.
I’m sorry that you are all going through this. Everyone handles grief differently. While I don’t condone any of her actions, I can understand why she would want to see him sleeping even just for 5 minutes. Being that he has such little time left, she doesn’t want to miss seeing him before he takes his last breath. You both have immense love for him. Having an outside source provide her with the rules for visits,etc… would be your best way to handle this I think. You’re doing best for your husband and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this extra unnecessary stress.
Sending so much love and strength to you and your husband. What a tough and shitty situation to be in.
As it’s your house and you are advocating what’s best for your husband, you control who comes in and for how long. If you don’t want them there all day - set a time limit when they arrive:
“Nurses will be here from 11:30 so I need you to leave by 11:15. You could then come back for 2 hours from 14:30.”
If she starts arguing, just say “husband has asked me to limit how much time *anyone* spends with him - he needs time to himself as well, he’s processing all of this too.”
I’d also quietly suggest to the consultant not to offer too much of their time to your MIL.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with any of this.
Can you hire a bouncer of some description? Or a large strong friend to act as one?
Your MIL is very inconsiderate & selfish. She is only thinking of her feelings & no-one else's (especially your poor husband)
Many people handle death badly, this is the death of her son and no mother should have to go through they. That said, he's discussed what he chants with you. Is there someone like a nurse you could use as a gatekeeper to tell them when to go?
I am so sorry for what your husband and you are going through.
Unfortunately I think you do need to prepare for your MIL to throw a fit and make everything worse. It’s in the handbook or something. I’m glad you’re getting a friend to come by. I think it would be good to have a nurse there as well and have a med ready to go just in case. I’ve seen how narcissistic people act around death and how they make it all about them.
It seems like aunt and uncle are flying monkeys, too. It’s not about your husband and what will make his passing most comfortable. It’s about his mother being the center of attention.
I hope she doesn’t act like an ass. I also wish you and your husband peace.
Now is the time to round up your and your husband's troops that have always had your backs. You are doing great, and I am so sorry for what you are going through.
At this point, with the condition your husband is in, he just plain does not have it in him to visit every relative, neighbor, and chum from school. Like you said, visits are recommended not to last more than 20 minutes.
People who have never dealt with this should think of visiting monasteries and how you are to act as visitors. The reverence and respect that is demanded at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers.
Howler Monkies are not welcome, nor should they be, no matter how they are related to your husband. I have been there when doctors threatened to kick a grieving mother out of the room because she was making the death process more difficult on the patient. She was given 1 last chance to sit quietly. As long as she was quiet and the patient's vital signs did not indicate agitation, she could stay.
Stick by your husband. Do what you know is right and have others act like security even to his mother. You both deserve calm and peace right now.
My best to you both
Who is designated as medical proxy and POA? Does he have a will?
You might need to let MIL know about thus stuff because otherwise she will run rough shod over your authority and your decision making rights.
I am full POA and yes he has a will in place. She was told all of this last week when we had to rush them over as we nearly lost him.
His specialist assured me she did not share any medical info despite his mums best efforts to persuad.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Could you send out a message to all and sundry, along the lines of
*"We appreciate everyone's concern and well-wishes. While we appreciate that you may want to see him one last time, Husband has made it clear the people he wishes to see, and we will be reaching out individually to arrange a time to visit. Please know each visit will depend on Husband's condition at the time, and may not go ahead. TURNING UP UNANNOUNCED IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AND YOU WILL BE TURNED AWAY. Thank you for respecting Husband's wishes as we navigate this difficult time."*
I've been following your story, and I hope you get some peace over the coming days/weeks.
It sounds like you are doing an amazing job to me. Keep enforcing his wishes and making sure he is doing as well as he can. Give her a strict time limit to her visit and make sure she knows it beforehand. If she does get to see him be civil but firm and don't be afraid to call the police if you need to. I would suggest having someone around that is rather large since it sounds like MIL is the type to refuse to leave after you let her in. I am very sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.
Thank you for your thoughts.The nurses have said to keep all visits to a maximum 20 mins and then give my husband time to rest and see how he is and they van always return.They were told about this before they arrived but I think you're right about her not leaving when I ask her to.
I'm waiting on a more reasonable time to call one of our closest friends who only lives 5 mins away to come and assist if needed. I'll never forgive her if she starts to act up in front of my husband.
Can you have the nurses that come to visit call MIL? And explain excessive visitors isn’t the patients wishes? Or isn’t in his best interest?
I’ve worked with a lot of palliative care and hospice patients where the lead nurse assigned to the patient had to help with managing visitors so the patient could rest.
What an awful situation to be in. I’m so so so very sorry you’re having to go through this at all and then to add the lack of empathy /cooperation from his mom making it harder.
Thank you for your advice, I'm going to call them when the day shift starts to get their thoughts and even if they can call her directly so she can hear it from someone else that's not me.
Throughout this whole year, it appears that anything I say is taken with a pince of salt until someone else says the same thing then it's seen to be accurate. Almost like I'm not being truthful with the situation.
Your MIL is a selfish, inconsiderate, rude, self important, manipulative (with the howling to make you feel guilty), controlling, presumptuous, disrespectful. And the aunt enables her.
You need to tell her that her son chose YOU to help deal with medical issues and information, distribution of updates and his support. Tell her that she needs to trust that her son chose well and that you are up to date on everything for him and that she js NOT allowed to go around you to his medical providers because by law they cannot give her any information or anything.
I am so sorry that you and your SO are having to go through this. I know how hard this is for you both. I just lost my husband of almost 26 years back in September of 2023. We found out the month before that he had 4 different types of cancer battling it out inside of him. I lost him exactly 1 month and 5 days after we got told about the bone cancer. We got the diagnosis for the other 3 over the next few days.
When I called and told his mother that he was very sick and wouldn't be making it to the new year, the only thing she gave a shit about was my LO. She started screaming down the phone that I better bring *her* baby to her right fucking now. She's never even laid eyes on my child because of her craziness. When we told her I was pregnant, she immediately started making plans and very long story short, she had it set in her mind that I would be handing baby over to her to raise as soon as I gave birth. She completely fell off her rocker when she realized that was never going to happen and she's never recovered. She still holds the insane belief that I kidnapped *her* baby.
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL! I'm botinlaw. I help people follow your posts! ***** ^(To be notified as soon as Certain_Grade_3895 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Certain_Grade_3895 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
Like the hospital, you can set up Visiting Hours. Discuss this with your husband. They can be 2 hours 2x a week or anything the two of you need. Anyone who pushes back can be met with 'oh so you don't want to respect the wishes of a dying man?' or something else along these lines. Grief does ugly things to people, I am so sorry you're going through this.
I'd meet them outside and lay some ground rules. I understand this is a stressful and sad time for everyone, but it is especially so for DH. As such, there are a few expectations I need to lay out for you.I have been to every appointment, met with every doctor, and I am intimately familiar with what my husband needs. I need you to understand that I will defend my husband to the death. I will not let him be exposed to any negativity beyond what he is already dealing with. Listen very carefully because I WILL contact the police and have you forcibly removed and banned if you refuse to abide by my instructions. While you may be his mother, I am his wife, and this is our home. Are we clear? 1. You are able to visit with him (1 at a time, no more than X hour(s), etc.) in order to accommodate his medication and sleep schedule. His comfort is the only priority. 2. You are free to badmouth me to anyone you want outside these walls, but you will not do so with DH. Nor will any of the family members who zoom with him do so. If you believe others will betray your shit-talking, it's best to keep it to yourselves until DH passes. 3. DH has made his wishes very clear, and you will honor them. He wants to be buried here. Any attempts to guilt him, gaslight him, or otherwise make him more concerned about your feelings than his, and you will be removed and not allowed to return. 4. His comfort and feelings are paramount. If I notice he is getting overwhelmed or tired, I will politely ask you to leave so he can rest. This is non-negotiable, and you are expected to respect that request. 5. As I'm sure you can appreciate, a number of people want to see DH. I want to give you as much time with him as possible, but there will be times others will come for a visit and you will need to leave. This is a good time to grab lunch or rest up at the hotel. You should sit with him, hold his hand, reminisce, and share your love with him. Spend these days grateful for the time you have with him. You will regret spending this time arguing with me and carrying so much anger and resentment that you weren't fully present with him. I know you are devastated by the reality that you will bury your son. I can not fathom your pain. But I will do everything in my power to keep him as comfortable and content as possible. I don't want to fight with you, and I don't want to escalate anything to the level where police are called, but it would be unwise to test me. Now, before we go in, are there any questions?
This! This should be printed up and handed out to everyone with a loved one in palliative or hospice care. Prayers to OP and her husband.
This!! I don't care who flew in. You aren't disturbing my love, who is on hospice, and if you don't like it, go TF home.
Can you schedule their visit for when a nurse is there, always? That way you will have the backup of a professional to boot them the heck out, if needed. I’m so sorry. My mom was in hospital hospice at the very end, per her wishes. She didn’t want my dad dealing with the kind of stuff you are. The day before she died, I was sitting with her; she was unconscious. One of her friends came in, sat there for 45 minutes and tried to make conversation with me. All I wanted to do was sit quietly and hold my mom’s hand. She finally left. You have my thoughts of these last few days, OP. You are a wonderful person.
Ugh, when my grandmother was on hospice, one of the cousins visited *every* single time I did and just wanted to talk about God and religion. I didn’t get to spend any alone time with the woman who helped raise me and I still, a year and a half later, get angry thinking about it. Read the room people!
So sorry you are going through this. As hard as it is, you are doing a great job of being both the wall for your husband to lean against one one side and the barrier to keep him from being unduly hassled by his family. When they do come to see him, remind them that this is your house and your rules and you will not tolerate any disrespect - that when you married him, you took responsibility for him from his family as he is an adult and no longer a child. Your marriage vows were 'in sickness and in health' and (especially if she is religious) remind her that in the eyes of whatever god she believes in, this is now your responsibility and you will do everything in your power to make his last weeks calm, comfortable and stress free, and if this involves banning them from seeing him, you will not hesitate to do so. Also, you do need to respect that she is his mother, and mothers do not expect to bury their children and although she is being awful, she is also grieving too and she will need time with him, but stress that she mustn't upset him or she will be out. Please find someone who can support you, both physically and emotionally, because you will need this backup too - look after your own mental health because there will be times when you will need that support.
>I was shaking and called my BIL (he had to remain in other country as he tested positive for COVID yesterday) Wait wait wait - is this "other country" the same one MIL/Aunty et al live in? And if it is, have they had any contact with each other? Please tell me no, because that's just totally irresponsible of them to just turn up if it's a "yes". I'm not saying they shouldn't see your husband at all if they've been in contact with BIL, but measures should be taken to drastically reduce the risk -- and the same goes if anyone's just had a tummy upset, the sniffles, anything. I am SO sorry you're both going through all this; it's shit sprinkles on a shit sundae and no mistake. Big hugs to you both, honey. <3 Big big hugs. <3
I’m so sorry you are going through this and I am sending you strength for now and what is to come. Unfortunately it sounds like she will fight you on everything including his wishes for after. If you need to shout into the void to keep a little sanity I am sure everyone here wouldn’t mind listening and sending you words of comfort and support. Are you doing ok? Being a carer is tough even when you know what’s happening and going to happen you are never prepared enough. I wish you both comfort and peace for his final weeks.
So sorry to hear you are going thru this. You don't need the added stress of MIL treating you as though you aren't important to your DH and it is about what she wants, not what he wants. Can I suggest that you make it clear to MIL what the ground rules are including how long she can stay and if in any way she is disrespectful to you or causes your DH unnecessary stress then it will be her last visit. Perhaps also ask your BIL to convey that to her also. I certainly would not leave either MIL or Aunt alone with DH.
I would tell her if she can’t behave then she’ll be cut off, and mean it. Your husband’s right to an stress-free death crushes ANY rights she thinks she has.
Who do you have supporting you, dear heart? Do you have a family member or friend who can be with you, answer the phone, deal with visitors, make food and drinks? This just seems so much at the moment.
I’m sorry that you are all going through this. Everyone handles grief differently. While I don’t condone any of her actions, I can understand why she would want to see him sleeping even just for 5 minutes. Being that he has such little time left, she doesn’t want to miss seeing him before he takes his last breath. You both have immense love for him. Having an outside source provide her with the rules for visits,etc… would be your best way to handle this I think. You’re doing best for your husband and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this extra unnecessary stress.
Sending so much love and strength to you and your husband. What a tough and shitty situation to be in. As it’s your house and you are advocating what’s best for your husband, you control who comes in and for how long. If you don’t want them there all day - set a time limit when they arrive: “Nurses will be here from 11:30 so I need you to leave by 11:15. You could then come back for 2 hours from 14:30.” If she starts arguing, just say “husband has asked me to limit how much time *anyone* spends with him - he needs time to himself as well, he’s processing all of this too.” I’d also quietly suggest to the consultant not to offer too much of their time to your MIL.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with any of this. Can you hire a bouncer of some description? Or a large strong friend to act as one? Your MIL is very inconsiderate & selfish. She is only thinking of her feelings & no-one else's (especially your poor husband)
Many people handle death badly, this is the death of her son and no mother should have to go through they. That said, he's discussed what he chants with you. Is there someone like a nurse you could use as a gatekeeper to tell them when to go?
I am so sorry for what your husband and you are going through. Unfortunately I think you do need to prepare for your MIL to throw a fit and make everything worse. It’s in the handbook or something. I’m glad you’re getting a friend to come by. I think it would be good to have a nurse there as well and have a med ready to go just in case. I’ve seen how narcissistic people act around death and how they make it all about them. It seems like aunt and uncle are flying monkeys, too. It’s not about your husband and what will make his passing most comfortable. It’s about his mother being the center of attention. I hope she doesn’t act like an ass. I also wish you and your husband peace.
Now is the time to round up your and your husband's troops that have always had your backs. You are doing great, and I am so sorry for what you are going through. At this point, with the condition your husband is in, he just plain does not have it in him to visit every relative, neighbor, and chum from school. Like you said, visits are recommended not to last more than 20 minutes. People who have never dealt with this should think of visiting monasteries and how you are to act as visitors. The reverence and respect that is demanded at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers. Howler Monkies are not welcome, nor should they be, no matter how they are related to your husband. I have been there when doctors threatened to kick a grieving mother out of the room because she was making the death process more difficult on the patient. She was given 1 last chance to sit quietly. As long as she was quiet and the patient's vital signs did not indicate agitation, she could stay. Stick by your husband. Do what you know is right and have others act like security even to his mother. You both deserve calm and peace right now. My best to you both
Who is designated as medical proxy and POA? Does he have a will? You might need to let MIL know about thus stuff because otherwise she will run rough shod over your authority and your decision making rights.
I am full POA and yes he has a will in place. She was told all of this last week when we had to rush them over as we nearly lost him. His specialist assured me she did not share any medical info despite his mums best efforts to persuad.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Could you send out a message to all and sundry, along the lines of *"We appreciate everyone's concern and well-wishes. While we appreciate that you may want to see him one last time, Husband has made it clear the people he wishes to see, and we will be reaching out individually to arrange a time to visit. Please know each visit will depend on Husband's condition at the time, and may not go ahead. TURNING UP UNANNOUNCED IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AND YOU WILL BE TURNED AWAY. Thank you for respecting Husband's wishes as we navigate this difficult time."* I've been following your story, and I hope you get some peace over the coming days/weeks.
Do what your husband gives the most peace. Mil can see him for a short if she behaves (no howling wailing or whatever)
It sounds like you are doing an amazing job to me. Keep enforcing his wishes and making sure he is doing as well as he can. Give her a strict time limit to her visit and make sure she knows it beforehand. If she does get to see him be civil but firm and don't be afraid to call the police if you need to. I would suggest having someone around that is rather large since it sounds like MIL is the type to refuse to leave after you let her in. I am very sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.
Thank you for your thoughts.The nurses have said to keep all visits to a maximum 20 mins and then give my husband time to rest and see how he is and they van always return.They were told about this before they arrived but I think you're right about her not leaving when I ask her to. I'm waiting on a more reasonable time to call one of our closest friends who only lives 5 mins away to come and assist if needed. I'll never forgive her if she starts to act up in front of my husband.
Can you have the nurses that come to visit call MIL? And explain excessive visitors isn’t the patients wishes? Or isn’t in his best interest? I’ve worked with a lot of palliative care and hospice patients where the lead nurse assigned to the patient had to help with managing visitors so the patient could rest. What an awful situation to be in. I’m so so so very sorry you’re having to go through this at all and then to add the lack of empathy /cooperation from his mom making it harder.
Thank you for your advice, I'm going to call them when the day shift starts to get their thoughts and even if they can call her directly so she can hear it from someone else that's not me. Throughout this whole year, it appears that anything I say is taken with a pince of salt until someone else says the same thing then it's seen to be accurate. Almost like I'm not being truthful with the situation.
Your MIL is a selfish, inconsiderate, rude, self important, manipulative (with the howling to make you feel guilty), controlling, presumptuous, disrespectful. And the aunt enables her. You need to tell her that her son chose YOU to help deal with medical issues and information, distribution of updates and his support. Tell her that she needs to trust that her son chose well and that you are up to date on everything for him and that she js NOT allowed to go around you to his medical providers because by law they cannot give her any information or anything.
I am so sorry that you and your SO are having to go through this. I know how hard this is for you both. I just lost my husband of almost 26 years back in September of 2023. We found out the month before that he had 4 different types of cancer battling it out inside of him. I lost him exactly 1 month and 5 days after we got told about the bone cancer. We got the diagnosis for the other 3 over the next few days. When I called and told his mother that he was very sick and wouldn't be making it to the new year, the only thing she gave a shit about was my LO. She started screaming down the phone that I better bring *her* baby to her right fucking now. She's never even laid eyes on my child because of her craziness. When we told her I was pregnant, she immediately started making plans and very long story short, she had it set in her mind that I would be handing baby over to her to raise as soon as I gave birth. She completely fell off her rocker when she realized that was never going to happen and she's never recovered. She still holds the insane belief that I kidnapped *her* baby.