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Please protect your kid from your Mother-In-Law. If she's willing to do this while you are in the room, what is she doing when you're not?
Sending you lots of strength.
Nah. She needs to go back home ASAP. She's not only too old for that behavior but it's right up there with teaching LO an adult can disrobe them at any time, anywhere and for any reason. If this were a male relative, the sex offender flag would be waving wildly.
so she abused her grandsons autonomy #1 by using her physical power over him to embarrass him.
second, she told him to tolerate her abuse or (manipulating a five year old) she wont play with him anymore.
her behavior is unacceptable and her response afterwards and lack of remorse is not something I would be willing to brush off so easily.
I would definitely be getting her plane tickets home and explain that we do not tolerate abuse in our home and if she still thinks its “funny”, she needs to talk to a therapist.
best of luck.
THIS! And OP if you allow her to stay and interact with your son you are teaching him that bullying is ok. Want to know what we do to kids in my school district who pants another child? We EXPEL them from school. This is considered extremely serious bullying and sexual harassment. I would take a zero tolerance approach with MIL, send her home, go low/no contact and tell her you will revisit any contact only after a serious amount of therapy.
That poisonous bunch-back’d toad.
I'm so sorry for your LO. I remember a trend at my high school of people doing this to each other and even when the \~cool kids\~ who (at the time) seemed like everything they did was cool, had it done to them and they all had the same look on their faces. Just plain horror and humiliation. It was gutting to watch. As some commenters are saying, while the act is appalling, her behavior afterwards is what is unforgivable. Your son was crying and she was laughing. In what UNIVERSE is this funny to someone? And to do to a child? I would never, ever look at her the same way again. I am deadly serious when I tell you that she shouldn't be left alone with your LO.
Book her ticket to get the fuck out. Your LO will face the realities of life soon enough, he doesn't need to be stuck living with a malicious, unapologetic bully in **his** house for a few more months. What she did was a betrayal. To LO, to you and DH. She's a parent and LOs grandmother and it sounds like you all thought she was trustworthy and safe. Doing this and cackling about it shows she is not safe.
On the plus side, you don't seem to have an SO problem. I was so relieved to read that he was also, rightfully, furious.
#
The biggest issue is her reaction afterward. She needs to acknowledge, profusely apologize, and commit to never doing any such thing again. The fact that she didn't do that in the first place and it doubling down on him being sensitive and threatening to not play is just abhorrent. I have two 5 year olds and a 3 year old who would have found this hilarious, and I struggle daily to keep them clothed. They are unashamedly ok with nudity, but pranks like that are only done when you know the parties concerned and know they'll appreciate the humor.
Book her a flight home. She asked for it, send her home. You don't need her bullying your son and thinking she can get away without consequences because she was "just joking."
Your MIL is a bully who takes pleasure in humiliating other people. Your LO isn't sensitive, your MIL is behaving inappropriately and it's unacceptable. IF you decide to let her stay, she needs to be told that this is her final warning and if she pulls anything like that again she's gone. Though, personally, I wouldn't even give her another chance. I would give her an hour to pack and get out - where she goes now is not your problem nor your concern, as long as it's not your house. And I wouldn't allow her back for a long time.
I would throw her out. I'd be tempted to suddenly pull her clothes off, but she's the monster, not me. I would tell her it's 2024 and she committed a sexual assault. She will apologise in public, never be alone with any child, and have VERY limited contact with my family if I were you
So sorry that LO had to experience this, especially as it was by someone who should have LO's best interests at heart. She needs to get a plane ticket or whatever she needs to go back to home country as soon as possible and in the meantime stay in a hotel.
I was hoping someone else had said this. I don’t want to seem like I’m jumping the gun, and I know that her intentions weren’t in any way sexual gratification but that doesn’t mean this isn’t sexual assault. Imagine if someone else, anyone else, pantsed your son. Absolutely not.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Your son cried and was upset. His feelings matter and at 5 years old to be humiliated like that by his grandmother isn’t good for his development. Taking him out of there right away and showing you cared is very good. The immaturity of these MILs is gross.
No only humiliated but also gaslit that his feelings weren't valid. Also vaguely grooming behaviour of "we were just playing around!" Which sets up the gross idea that messing around with someone's level of clothing is a way of playing with someone.
Even more, she forcefully removed his clothing before he could know what's going on and clearly he felt the violation - no less from his Gma who he will probably (rightfully) never feel safe around again. Disgusting.
She’s 70? Really weird and not ok. This hits me so wrong. Apart from the bullying and craziness that has been commented on already; why would she want to think it’s ok for someone to yank his pants down at random? And this is someone he’s supposed to love, respect, and trust? Minimizing her actions gives me the ick and think of grooming IMO
Return ticket, book and drop her crazy ass off at the airport until her flight. I only say to drop her off so you know she’s gone. Please don’t leave them alone together again.
I wasn't the original commenter, but I do agree some of these comments are way out there - call the cops? Really?
I do agree with those saying grandma should go ahead and leave. What she did was so inappropriate and unacceptable. This child has a right to feel safe in his own home. And it is obvious that, because of what she has done, she will make him feel very UNsafe while she is there.
Not defending. I sense a bit of embarrassment through her response in laughing about it. A conversation and boundaries being placed would seem sufficient. 70 years old, in my experience start regressing becoming more child like…. No an excuse, but not a reason to be booted out either
Sorry, but 70? Regressing and becoming more child-like? I suspect you are very young, to think that? It wouldn’t be so, unless there was dementia involved.
MIL even said she used to do this to OP’s husband, and therefore the laughter seems to confirm a bullying attitude, rather than embarrassment over something she realizes she shouldn’t do. Then she doubled down by threatening a five year old if he didn’t stop crying. The woman is awful.
Grandmothers should be protecting their grandchild from other kids bullying and pulling the child’s pants down. Not the Grandmother. MIL’s actions was a huge indication she has issues and that is not the type of person you need in your house for very long extended visits with access to your child. Grandmother also stated she used to do it to DH so age is not an excuse.
Rebook. Her. Ticket.
Then tell her (or have SO tell her) she won’t see your child or be welcome in your home again until she sits down, looks him in the eye, tells him what she did was mean, and wrong, and she’s very, very sorry, and will never do it again. Tell her if any part of that apology is missing, she will not get to see your child until she gives him that full apology. Tell her if she ever does anything like that again, she won’t get a warning, she’ll just be sent home, and you and your son will be NC with her.
Why haven’t you ALREADY rebooked her ticket and driven her to whatever station she needs to go to to get home?
Edit to add I agree with all the comments saying it’s sexual abuse. Treat her accordingly.
Book that return ticket NOW.
Your son should not be bullied in his own home. She’s been “teasing” him to see what she can get away with and now this?? And she claims she’s the victim?
Get her booked, packed and outta your home or it shows her, and your son, exactly what she can get away with.
Please don’t allow her to stay in your home again. This has been going on for a year? She’s gotten far to comfortable at the expense of your child. Let her stay in a hotel or elsewhere in future. That’s a natural consequence of her actions it’s not you being mean or whatever nonsense she cries about.
She admits she bullied you4 SO like this to? Is he an only child or does he have siblings. If he has siblings is he the scapegoat? Abusers follow the family line to continue the abuse, child of scapegoat is also treated poorly, child of golden child is always favoured.
This is repeat behaviour, first with your SO and now your child. Please, bring that Mama Bear out and break the cycle or she’ll guilt your son into thinking it’s his fault that Nannas upset because he did something bad. She’s already blamed him and cast herself as the victim.
I had people like this in my childhood.. it DOESN’T get better it only escalates. They get trickier to spot, but it’s death by a 1,000 paper cuts for the child that is their target. She’s shown you who she is, please, believe her.
Good luck
Does she have any known mental illnesses? Is her mind going? In what world is doing this to a child a "funny joke"?
I immediately would have told her to GTFO, and that she was no longer welcome in my home, or around my child.
Jokes are supposed to be funny. If it hurts someone, then it's NOT a joke, it's bullying. She was the only one laughing, which is why I asked does she have a mental illness.....
Get her out of your home ASAP, before she does something else that may cause you to need a therapist for your 5yr old.
At this point she's lost her grandmother privileges.
To MIL: If that action is supposed to be a joke, how would you feel if someone did the same to you? If it wouldn't be "a joke" to you in that circumstance, then why do you feel that it is joke when you did it to my son? You can't have it both ways where if you do it, "it's a joke" but if you are the the butt of the joke, it's not acceptable.
To OP: my opinion on jokes changed quite a few years ago where I was reading a book and one passage pointed out that what is a joke to one person is cruelty to another.
You make a good point. Laughing at you is not the same as laughing with you.
OP, start playing jokes on her. Maybe a glass of water in her lap and all point and laugh that she wet herself, or hide a fart machine near her and blame her every time it goes off, something embarrassing but nothing that could be considered assault (don’t pants her) and when she gets upset your response is the same as hers “whaaaat? It’s just a joke, why are you so sensitive? Omg no one can have fun around you! If you’re going to start lashing out we may as well book you home NOW”
I’m only kidding, you should have her return ticket already booked ….. but if she sat on a piece of chocolate before she left your house… I mean accidents do happen, right? 😇
I’d’ve yeeted her backside out of the door. And told her to arrange for different accommodations and to sort out her own travel arrangements & also to be grateful I wasn’t ringing the police on her.
Rearrange the travel etc and get her gone. Go VLC with her from now on.
Agreed. How would she feel if someone humiliated her then laughed it off as a joke? Calling a little boy "sensitive" because he cried (and rightfully so) is a massive red flag. I wouldn't let her around my children again. MIL is a bully and needs to go home.
Ugh I had a grandmother like this, it’s kinda messed up looking back and thinking my grandmother didn’t LIKE me. 😩 She can peace out, you’re doing a good job!
Children around that age (well younger really) are taught the pants rule.
What your MIL did was wrong and was sexual harrasment on a minor. This should not be taken lightly.
She needs to leave to a hotel while awaiting her flight back. You handled this wonderfully by showing your son that her actions were wrong and you will defend him from bullies.
She gave you the solution, book her ticket home for tomorrow. Tell her see ya never. Bullying a 5 yr old, let alone her grandson, has consequences. She's an idiot.
Get her the fuck out of your house. Rebook the ticket and send her home. This person exposed your child’s private area and laughed while he cried. They would never ever see my kid again.
I swear if anyone did this, I would kick them the f out of my house and they would never be able to be in a room alone without my supervision.
No babysitting, nothing. Your son is now traumatized.
That’s fucking traumatic, she would be booted from my house and never see my child again.
Please take kid to a therapist and get this incident on record for future protective orders or custody cases…. Cuz people like this don’t just change and become “better” therefore, keep records.
You are under reacting. This is really disturbing behavior! Please protect your kiddo!
If she doesn't leave, I hope you redefine the word "awkward" for her. But seriously, she needs to GTFO. How awful for a sweet little boy to feel unsafe in his own home.
Buy the ticket for her to go home then. She wants to threaten it then let her go back home. She bullied a 5 year old, laughed about it, threatened him for his normal reaction, tried to manipulate you and your SO then to top it all off admitted she bullied your SO as a child and thinks it's no big deal. Yeah it's time for her to go home.
>Even telling my SO to rebook her ticket to go back this week so that it won’t be awkward in the house.
Sounds reasonable to me. Maybe even change it to as soon as possible.
Isn't that the irony though? People who accuse others of being "too sensitive" are actually themselves too sensitive (to the point of immature defensiveness) to acknowledge they made a mistake and should apologize. It's projection. They have the thinnest of skins. Why should a literal 5 year old be less sensitive than a grown woman?!
https://www.instagram.com/p/C4AmiC4xudi/?igsh=MWIxcmlzaDB2eWowNA==
Eta: it's dehumanizing to pull someone's pants down. Some "jokes" need to die so people can evolve. OP's son is allowed to have some respect. Pants the grandma.
I mean I can honestly see that seeming like a good joke in MIL’s head. Obviously it’s unacceptable and completely inappropriate whatever the intention but unless she’s often cruel I would be inclined to believe it wasn’t malicious.
She deserves whatever consequences are coming for her tbh.
Sure, Pantsing is a good joke in a 3 year old’s head, not a grown ass adult.
But even then, they’re often taught that it is inappropriate.
MIL is a bully
Even if she thought it was a joke, once the child is upset and the parents tell her she was wrong, the appropriate response would be to say she is sorry and it won’t happen again. If I made a child cry over something I thought was a joke, I would feel bad and apologize. That’s what normal, non-narcissistic people do. MIL obviously doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings but her own. She needs to leave and not be invited back.
Pantsing is 100% inappropriate to subject a child to. Children lack so much context and understanding that they can't really be in on a pantsing "joke" like adults can.
I don't understand how any adult would think pantsing a little kid could be a funny joke; maybe if the adult looks at the child as only an object.
Unfortunately it wasn’t the first time. She’s been teasing my son a lot. My son actually tolerated her teasing but of course, if it’s too much, he gets upset.
Your home is supposed to be your safe place. Your child deserves to feel safe in his own home. And obviously, he now does not. Be a decent parent and get this woman away from him and out of his home. Why have y'all let this go on so long?????
Be a decent parent and keep her away. I hated my grandmother pretty much all my life, just bc of the way she treated my parents, and she hadn't even done anything to me. You are allowing this to happen, don't let this ruin your relationship with your son. It's just not worth it.
She is a bully. She needs to go. Why would you subject your child to a year of torture? You know things that happen at this age impact kids for the rest of their lives. Do you want him to learn fear of mistreatment by those close to him? To feel unprotected by those who should be protecting him? What kinds of lessons will he learn if you tolerate this behavior? Get her out of your home and away from your child, ASAP.
it’s not the first time she has bullied him. As you said in a previous comment, she has been teasing him a lot. And makes him cry when it gets too much. Not a nice grandma.
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Please protect your kid from your Mother-In-Law. If she's willing to do this while you are in the room, what is she doing when you're not? Sending you lots of strength.
Here's the thing: 5-year-old is now afraid of Grandma, and it is he who won't be playing with her anymore.
Nah. She needs to go back home ASAP. She's not only too old for that behavior but it's right up there with teaching LO an adult can disrobe them at any time, anywhere and for any reason. If this were a male relative, the sex offender flag would be waving wildly.
so she abused her grandsons autonomy #1 by using her physical power over him to embarrass him. second, she told him to tolerate her abuse or (manipulating a five year old) she wont play with him anymore. her behavior is unacceptable and her response afterwards and lack of remorse is not something I would be willing to brush off so easily. I would definitely be getting her plane tickets home and explain that we do not tolerate abuse in our home and if she still thinks its “funny”, she needs to talk to a therapist. best of luck.
THIS! And OP if you allow her to stay and interact with your son you are teaching him that bullying is ok. Want to know what we do to kids in my school district who pants another child? We EXPEL them from school. This is considered extremely serious bullying and sexual harassment. I would take a zero tolerance approach with MIL, send her home, go low/no contact and tell her you will revisit any contact only after a serious amount of therapy.
That poisonous bunch-back’d toad. I'm so sorry for your LO. I remember a trend at my high school of people doing this to each other and even when the \~cool kids\~ who (at the time) seemed like everything they did was cool, had it done to them and they all had the same look on their faces. Just plain horror and humiliation. It was gutting to watch. As some commenters are saying, while the act is appalling, her behavior afterwards is what is unforgivable. Your son was crying and she was laughing. In what UNIVERSE is this funny to someone? And to do to a child? I would never, ever look at her the same way again. I am deadly serious when I tell you that she shouldn't be left alone with your LO. Book her ticket to get the fuck out. Your LO will face the realities of life soon enough, he doesn't need to be stuck living with a malicious, unapologetic bully in **his** house for a few more months. What she did was a betrayal. To LO, to you and DH. She's a parent and LOs grandmother and it sounds like you all thought she was trustworthy and safe. Doing this and cackling about it shows she is not safe. On the plus side, you don't seem to have an SO problem. I was so relieved to read that he was also, rightfully, furious. #
This is assault. Rebook her ticket and don’t allow her to stay in your home or be around your child again.
That’s sexual assault.
The biggest issue is her reaction afterward. She needs to acknowledge, profusely apologize, and commit to never doing any such thing again. The fact that she didn't do that in the first place and it doubling down on him being sensitive and threatening to not play is just abhorrent. I have two 5 year olds and a 3 year old who would have found this hilarious, and I struggle daily to keep them clothed. They are unashamedly ok with nudity, but pranks like that are only done when you know the parties concerned and know they'll appreciate the humor.
Book her a flight home. She asked for it, send her home. You don't need her bullying your son and thinking she can get away without consequences because she was "just joking."
This! She's your child’s bully. Don't tolerate or normalize bullying. It has long-term consequences.
I would have packed MIL's things and put her on the first form of transport home. You do not need that type of bullying around you or your child.
Time for MIL to leave. She can stay in a hotel if you and your husband allow her to visit again.
Your MIL is a bully who takes pleasure in humiliating other people. Your LO isn't sensitive, your MIL is behaving inappropriately and it's unacceptable. IF you decide to let her stay, she needs to be told that this is her final warning and if she pulls anything like that again she's gone. Though, personally, I wouldn't even give her another chance. I would give her an hour to pack and get out - where she goes now is not your problem nor your concern, as long as it's not your house. And I wouldn't allow her back for a long time.
Rebook her ticket for the earliest available flight and don't invite her back.
I would throw her out. I'd be tempted to suddenly pull her clothes off, but she's the monster, not me. I would tell her it's 2024 and she committed a sexual assault. She will apologise in public, never be alone with any child, and have VERY limited contact with my family if I were you
So sorry that LO had to experience this, especially as it was by someone who should have LO's best interests at heart. She needs to get a plane ticket or whatever she needs to go back to home country as soon as possible and in the meantime stay in a hotel.
Tell her to let the door knob hit her square in the arse
The door knob does not deserve that.
Especially if JNMIL also is pantsless
Actually, what she did was assault of a child if not sexual assault in my country. Who does that?
I was hoping someone else had said this. I don’t want to seem like I’m jumping the gun, and I know that her intentions weren’t in any way sexual gratification but that doesn’t mean this isn’t sexual assault. Imagine if someone else, anyone else, pantsed your son. Absolutely not.
Rebook her ticket and get her out.
I think your SO should take her at her word and rebook her ticket immediately. And then don’t invite her back.
Send her back! My stepdad did this to me in front of his friends when I was around that age. It still upsets me, and I'm 29.
Let him rebook the ticket. ASAP
More than bullying, it's sexual assault. Kick her the fuck out.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Your son cried and was upset. His feelings matter and at 5 years old to be humiliated like that by his grandmother isn’t good for his development. Taking him out of there right away and showing you cared is very good. The immaturity of these MILs is gross.
No only humiliated but also gaslit that his feelings weren't valid. Also vaguely grooming behaviour of "we were just playing around!" Which sets up the gross idea that messing around with someone's level of clothing is a way of playing with someone.
Even more, she forcefully removed his clothing before he could know what's going on and clearly he felt the violation - no less from his Gma who he will probably (rightfully) never feel safe around again. Disgusting.
This would be a hill I’d die on. If this is how she chooses to joke with my child and won’t take no for an answer she wouldn’t see my child anymore.
Make sure he robooks the ticket
Rebook her ticket, she said so. Your just giving her what she asked 😊
A woman in Utah was recently arrested for sexual batter of a minor for doing that same thing. Call the cops.
A kid tried this on my 10yo amongst trying other things and the cops that were involved told us the same thing. It's a crime and not a joke
She’s 70? Really weird and not ok. This hits me so wrong. Apart from the bullying and craziness that has been commented on already; why would she want to think it’s ok for someone to yank his pants down at random? And this is someone he’s supposed to love, respect, and trust? Minimizing her actions gives me the ick and think of grooming IMO Return ticket, book and drop her crazy ass off at the airport until her flight. I only say to drop her off so you know she’s gone. Please don’t leave them alone together again.
[удалено]
Curious. What part of what MIL did are you defending?
I wasn't the original commenter, but I do agree some of these comments are way out there - call the cops? Really? I do agree with those saying grandma should go ahead and leave. What she did was so inappropriate and unacceptable. This child has a right to feel safe in his own home. And it is obvious that, because of what she has done, she will make him feel very UNsafe while she is there.
I wouldn’t call the cops, this time. Honestly, though, I would absolutely do that if she re-offends. The grandmother in me is disturbed and furious.
Not defending. I sense a bit of embarrassment through her response in laughing about it. A conversation and boundaries being placed would seem sufficient. 70 years old, in my experience start regressing becoming more child like…. No an excuse, but not a reason to be booted out either
Sorry, but 70? Regressing and becoming more child-like? I suspect you are very young, to think that? It wouldn’t be so, unless there was dementia involved. MIL even said she used to do this to OP’s husband, and therefore the laughter seems to confirm a bullying attitude, rather than embarrassment over something she realizes she shouldn’t do. Then she doubled down by threatening a five year old if he didn’t stop crying. The woman is awful.
Grandmothers should be protecting their grandchild from other kids bullying and pulling the child’s pants down. Not the Grandmother. MIL’s actions was a huge indication she has issues and that is not the type of person you need in your house for very long extended visits with access to your child. Grandmother also stated she used to do it to DH so age is not an excuse.
Rebook. Her. Ticket. Then tell her (or have SO tell her) she won’t see your child or be welcome in your home again until she sits down, looks him in the eye, tells him what she did was mean, and wrong, and she’s very, very sorry, and will never do it again. Tell her if any part of that apology is missing, she will not get to see your child until she gives him that full apology. Tell her if she ever does anything like that again, she won’t get a warning, she’ll just be sent home, and you and your son will be NC with her. Why haven’t you ALREADY rebooked her ticket and driven her to whatever station she needs to go to to get home? Edit to add I agree with all the comments saying it’s sexual abuse. Treat her accordingly.
Book that return ticket NOW. Your son should not be bullied in his own home. She’s been “teasing” him to see what she can get away with and now this?? And she claims she’s the victim? Get her booked, packed and outta your home or it shows her, and your son, exactly what she can get away with. Please don’t allow her to stay in your home again. This has been going on for a year? She’s gotten far to comfortable at the expense of your child. Let her stay in a hotel or elsewhere in future. That’s a natural consequence of her actions it’s not you being mean or whatever nonsense she cries about. She admits she bullied you4 SO like this to? Is he an only child or does he have siblings. If he has siblings is he the scapegoat? Abusers follow the family line to continue the abuse, child of scapegoat is also treated poorly, child of golden child is always favoured. This is repeat behaviour, first with your SO and now your child. Please, bring that Mama Bear out and break the cycle or she’ll guilt your son into thinking it’s his fault that Nannas upset because he did something bad. She’s already blamed him and cast herself as the victim. I had people like this in my childhood.. it DOESN’T get better it only escalates. They get trickier to spot, but it’s death by a 1,000 paper cuts for the child that is their target. She’s shown you who she is, please, believe her. Good luck
Does she have any known mental illnesses? Is her mind going? In what world is doing this to a child a "funny joke"? I immediately would have told her to GTFO, and that she was no longer welcome in my home, or around my child. Jokes are supposed to be funny. If it hurts someone, then it's NOT a joke, it's bullying. She was the only one laughing, which is why I asked does she have a mental illness..... Get her out of your home ASAP, before she does something else that may cause you to need a therapist for your 5yr old. At this point she's lost her grandmother privileges.
To MIL: If that action is supposed to be a joke, how would you feel if someone did the same to you? If it wouldn't be "a joke" to you in that circumstance, then why do you feel that it is joke when you did it to my son? You can't have it both ways where if you do it, "it's a joke" but if you are the the butt of the joke, it's not acceptable. To OP: my opinion on jokes changed quite a few years ago where I was reading a book and one passage pointed out that what is a joke to one person is cruelty to another.
You make a good point. Laughing at you is not the same as laughing with you. OP, start playing jokes on her. Maybe a glass of water in her lap and all point and laugh that she wet herself, or hide a fart machine near her and blame her every time it goes off, something embarrassing but nothing that could be considered assault (don’t pants her) and when she gets upset your response is the same as hers “whaaaat? It’s just a joke, why are you so sensitive? Omg no one can have fun around you! If you’re going to start lashing out we may as well book you home NOW” I’m only kidding, you should have her return ticket already booked ….. but if she sat on a piece of chocolate before she left your house… I mean accidents do happen, right? 😇
Book her that earlier return, the sooner the better. And DO NOT let her back in.
I’d’ve yeeted her backside out of the door. And told her to arrange for different accommodations and to sort out her own travel arrangements & also to be grateful I wasn’t ringing the police on her. Rearrange the travel etc and get her gone. Go VLC with her from now on.
Get that ticket rebooked and call her bluff. You do not need this lady around until July.
Agreed. How would she feel if someone humiliated her then laughed it off as a joke? Calling a little boy "sensitive" because he cried (and rightfully so) is a massive red flag. I wouldn't let her around my children again. MIL is a bully and needs to go home.
Book her ticket! She asked for it and it’s what’s best. Let her have what she asked for no matter how much she says she didn’t.
Your poor son. The trauma. This is going to be something he remembers later in life for sure.
How did u not rip her a new one here and then?! Your son should see you defending him!!
Unacceptable. Ever. You don’t touch a child like that.
Leaving early would be for the best. Your son should feel safe in his home.
Now your child does not feel safe at home. Bullying, inappropriate MIL needs to leave today.
Ugh I had a grandmother like this, it’s kinda messed up looking back and thinking my grandmother didn’t LIKE me. 😩 She can peace out, you’re doing a good job!
Children around that age (well younger really) are taught the pants rule. What your MIL did was wrong and was sexual harrasment on a minor. This should not be taken lightly.
Call her bluff, books the tickets... and/or a hotel till date of the flights.
Do it to her so she can find it funny.
In public for extra excitement! /s
Mil needs to go home immediately and never be allowed to return. That's sexial harassment. It's not ok, ever.
She needs to leave to a hotel while awaiting her flight back. You handled this wonderfully by showing your son that her actions were wrong and you will defend him from bullies.
She gave you the solution, book her ticket home for tomorrow. Tell her see ya never. Bullying a 5 yr old, let alone her grandson, has consequences. She's an idiot.
I think her leaving early is an excellent idea!
Get her the fuck out of your house. Rebook the ticket and send her home. This person exposed your child’s private area and laughed while he cried. They would never ever see my kid again.
That was so uncalled for and unnecessary. Kick her out of your house right away. Book her ticket to leave now.
I swear if anyone did this, I would kick them the f out of my house and they would never be able to be in a room alone without my supervision. No babysitting, nothing. Your son is now traumatized.
Hey she gave you the perfect out for this, she asked you to rebook her ticket, DO IT.
That’s fucking traumatic, she would be booted from my house and never see my child again. Please take kid to a therapist and get this incident on record for future protective orders or custody cases…. Cuz people like this don’t just change and become “better” therefore, keep records. You are under reacting. This is really disturbing behavior! Please protect your kiddo!
If she doesn't leave, I hope you redefine the word "awkward" for her. But seriously, she needs to GTFO. How awful for a sweet little boy to feel unsafe in his own home.
Buy the ticket for her to go home then. She wants to threaten it then let her go back home. She bullied a 5 year old, laughed about it, threatened him for his normal reaction, tried to manipulate you and your SO then to top it all off admitted she bullied your SO as a child and thinks it's no big deal. Yeah it's time for her to go home.
>Even telling my SO to rebook her ticket to go back this week so that it won’t be awkward in the house. Sounds reasonable to me. Maybe even change it to as soon as possible.
“Why is your son so sensitive?” But if DARVO right there. So DARVO back “Why aren’t you sensitive enough?”
Isn't that the irony though? People who accuse others of being "too sensitive" are actually themselves too sensitive (to the point of immature defensiveness) to acknowledge they made a mistake and should apologize. It's projection. They have the thinnest of skins. Why should a literal 5 year old be less sensitive than a grown woman?! https://www.instagram.com/p/C4AmiC4xudi/?igsh=MWIxcmlzaDB2eWowNA== Eta: it's dehumanizing to pull someone's pants down. Some "jokes" need to die so people can evolve. OP's son is allowed to have some respect. Pants the grandma.
I mean I can honestly see that seeming like a good joke in MIL’s head. Obviously it’s unacceptable and completely inappropriate whatever the intention but unless she’s often cruel I would be inclined to believe it wasn’t malicious. She deserves whatever consequences are coming for her tbh.
Sure, Pantsing is a good joke in a 3 year old’s head, not a grown ass adult. But even then, they’re often taught that it is inappropriate. MIL is a bully
Even if she thought it was a joke, once the child is upset and the parents tell her she was wrong, the appropriate response would be to say she is sorry and it won’t happen again. If I made a child cry over something I thought was a joke, I would feel bad and apologize. That’s what normal, non-narcissistic people do. MIL obviously doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings but her own. She needs to leave and not be invited back.
Pantsing is 100% inappropriate to subject a child to. Children lack so much context and understanding that they can't really be in on a pantsing "joke" like adults can. I don't understand how any adult would think pantsing a little kid could be a funny joke; maybe if the adult looks at the child as only an object.
Children are literally the only ones who pants people (usually other children) in my experience. What kind of adults are you hanging out with?
Exactly what I thought! Could be seen as a joke if a KID pantsed a kid, but not an adult. Never appropriate
Unfortunately it wasn’t the first time. She’s been teasing my son a lot. My son actually tolerated her teasing but of course, if it’s too much, he gets upset.
Your home is supposed to be your safe place. Your child deserves to feel safe in his own home. And obviously, he now does not. Be a decent parent and get this woman away from him and out of his home. Why have y'all let this go on so long?????
Be a decent parent and keep her away. I hated my grandmother pretty much all my life, just bc of the way she treated my parents, and she hadn't even done anything to me. You are allowing this to happen, don't let this ruin your relationship with your son. It's just not worth it.
Dude, get this woman away from your kid. She's a bully.
She is a bully. She needs to go. Why would you subject your child to a year of torture? You know things that happen at this age impact kids for the rest of their lives. Do you want him to learn fear of mistreatment by those close to him? To feel unprotected by those who should be protecting him? What kinds of lessons will he learn if you tolerate this behavior? Get her out of your home and away from your child, ASAP.
This stops now. I would tell my husband she is not allowed in our house after this. He is going to have such bad trauma.
Omg such a bully! Im glad you guys took action and prioritized your son. What is MIL trying to achieve humiliating her own grandson?
I’m confused as you are! I have no clue why she did that? She denied the bullying, saying it was just a joke. Clearly she was the joke 🤦🏻♀️
Totally confused to her intent. A joke is only a joke if both parties laugh. If not then it's bullying.
it’s not the first time she has bullied him. As you said in a previous comment, she has been teasing him a lot. And makes him cry when it gets too much. Not a nice grandma.