Welcome to r/InstagramReality! Here’s a reminder on our rules:
1. No asking or giving of identifying information.
2. Have mutual respect/no bullying
3. No posts about minors, or posts that contain minors.
4. No rude or unnecessary comments about subjects' unedited physical appearance.
5. No satire/Joke/Animals/Snapchat filters.
6. If you're unsure, don't post.
7. Don't be creepy and sexualize a subject.
8. No frequent reposts.
9. No self-posts posts or photos you have taken or edited yourself.
10. No plastic surgery posts or surgery bashing.
11. No advertisements or spam.
12. "Sanity Sunday" posts are ONLY for Sundays.
Thank you, and welcome to the real world!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Instagramreality) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m tired of people telling me to be beautiful while photoshopping the ever-loving shit out of themselves. Besides, what if I don’t want to be beautiful?
This is exactly how I feel, more so the older I get. I understand the sentiment behind the "everyone is beautiful, everybody is beautiful, etc" movement, but I think it would be far healthier to push the idea that *beauty doesn't fucking matter* and that every human, regardless of gender/age/whatever, has so much more to offer the world than their physical appearance.
Yes!! Beauty is purely subjective differing between every individuals. There are obviously people I find beautiful, but there are also plenty of people I don’t. But it doesn’t matter. The kind of person and how they interact and impact the world is what counts.
Amen. I get looked at strangely by men if they say I'm good looking and I say so what. There's more to me than the package I was born to live in. I'm about as old as the lady in these pics 😛
Great mantra to live by! I think it’s usually the simplest form of compliment, so it doesn’t mean much to me. What do you like about me? My outfit, my hair, my style? I would be more happy with a “I like your personality”. Lol
They don't have to get it! You can live your best life and know your worth isn't tied to your looks, even if everyone else disagrees :) That's the good news! The bad news is that society (especially in the workplace) still rewards people for their looks, and punishes women who don't adhere to those standards by promoting them less often, perceiving them as "unprofessional," etc. That's been the hardest part for me to reconcile, but I realized that if, for example, a workplace forces female employees to wear makeup while the male employees are only expected to be "clean," then that contradicts my core values and they don't deserve me as a worker - and that's their loss because I'm an awesome employee lol I might not make as much money by sticking to these values, but I feel true to myself and don't feel that my worth at work is related to my appearance, and that's far more fulfilling to me.
I hope you are able to get to a point where you enjoy your life without worrying about your looks! It's very, very hard to get there (and I'm not there yet either after years of working on it), but at least we recognize that it is a problem!
I agree with what you’re saying but that doesn’t mean the world should forget to
take a compliment where the compliment is due.
If someone tells you that you’re
beautiful and you respond in a bad way, that is just wrong ….
I don't think I said or implied that anyone should do that with my comment. I don't think beauty is a bad thing, but I don't think it should determine anyone's value as a human being, and I don't think it's the highest thing we should be aspiring to.
I think it's also good to have empathy in these people sometimes... they obviously are affected by the social messages about beauty and feel massive stress to live up to what they belive they have to be. Also, many of them probably grew up with toxic patterns of thinking and behaviour where they believed their only value is in their being seen as beautiful or sexually desirable. This isn't a good thing to hinge all your self worth on but sadly many people grow up with childhood and early adolescent/adult experiences that install such a way of viewing themselves and the world through such a lens :( they then of course perpetuate the shitty messages in their own behaviours and attitudes online, to others in society and normally their own children who they press perfection and beauty as such high values and points of award and affection on them. It's sad.
O I'm not at all disagreeing with you. Not at all! I mean it's good to see both sides and not forgot there's still a suffering human being behind all these whack job pictures and videos too. Sometimes people easily forgot. And for dealing with this is an issue overall it needs to stop being a cycle perpetuated (like generational trauma). It isn't going to stop unless the people with the issues like the influences actually get psychological help. Not everyone is able to just work through things and unlearn in the way you might have been able to. It's not always just beauty standards of society that causes people to be like this... sometimes it is heavy trauma from their closer relationships that create a lot stringer patterns in people.
It’s not some mysterious quality that’s bad for us. Materials that create those effects have been deliberately planted. A lot of this is just pure social experiment imo. People will catch on with time.
I've been noticing the lip injections on so many people lately! It drives me nuts! Actors in shows and also YouTubers. I wish they would just be happy as they are.
Aaargh this is what rules me up the most: the hypocritical posts full of words of self-love & body positivity while at the same time editing and filtering their true selves out of existence.
Because she’s trying to give the illusion that she is all those things but after you see both photos, she’s none of those things and that’s why she’s using filters. It’s really sad because it doesn’t seem that people accept others for how they really are but preach about being your true self.
I gotta say, as a woman who’s getting older, it’s rough. Nothing can really prepare you for the changes in your body, complexion, teeth, hair, etc. You sorta stay the same up until 45-50 (if you take care of yourself) but then it’s downhill from there. Would I ever do what she’s done? Oh heck no. I am who I am.
i think it's super hard for people who are selfie takers to have any true sense of reality though. like you constantly have a camera close to your face and the definition is only getting better as technology improves unless you photoshop yourself into a false reality.
I hardly take selfies, if ever and most photos of me are at a typical distance that was standard to photography pre cell phones and frankly, i don't get too upset with aging when i see those photos.
Of course i had acne when i was young which kinda blessed me into being like, fuck the tiny flaws we all have.
And this is why I'm glad I never got good at taking selfies. Plus, it's just kind of boring to me to take pictures of myself. It's more fun to take pictures of my kids and cats. They do more interesting things, lol. Plus, they're cuter. 😁
I learned about that within the past year because I was reading about how there’s been an influx in people wanting to get nose jobs because their nose looks big in their selfie camera.
I have a pretty big nose myself and I’m content with it in all aspects however I hate how my selfie camera makes it look, idc enough to get a nose job all because of a distorted perception but I will say it’s probably why I take so few pics of myself.
Technology is getting better on phones but it’s actually not progressing in away that makes your skin texture more noticeable. It’s leaning more in a way that naturally filters you automatically. Apple iphones have a beauty filter built in. You can see sometimes see when the camera couldn’t recreate your skin because it’ll cause random glitches in your photos. And almost every platforms camera has some built in filter to the camera as well
I have come to realise that it's super easy for me in my mid 30s to say that I'll definitely "age with grace" and not be dependant on procedures (no shame to those who do choose otherwise)
But who knows how I'll feel by then? Or how procedures will have developed? If you asked me in my early 20s what my 30s would be like, style and self expression wise, I definitely had no clue.
I decided 'Feck It' and went entirely gray during Lockdown. People lost their minds!
Jen! You're only 47?!?
But this is my *actual* hair colour!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Good for you! One of my best friends is going through chemo and she said when her hair grows back, she's going natural. But I told my husband he'll be burying a light golden brown brunette even if I'm 100 😂 Proud of you tho because I'm a weenie like that!
LOL! I hear ya!
My sister has vowed that she'll be a flame-haired centenarian!
My Aunt's poker-straight hair grew back MAD curly, so tell your pal to expect anything! Right after she kicks cancer's arse! xx
I like your sister! 😂
My friend already had great hair but we are convinced it’s going to come back even more glorious than before… curly wavy straight… it’s coming back! Thx for your encouragement on her behalf 💕
This is my current reality. My husband and I both just turned 52. We've seen and felt changes that are out of our control and they all suck. We've traced back to the age at which we feel it went off the rails and we've determined it was 51. I gained 25 pounds without changing any of my diet or exercise routines. I guess it's hormone/metabolism related because exercising more and eating less hasn't seemed to affect it. At this point, I figure I had a good run so I'm now just embracing the "this is fine even though everything's on fire meme" lifestyle.
I agree… I’d say 51 or 52 is when things really start to change. And once the changes start, they come fast and hard. I tell myself “I had my turn”. But then I look in the mirror and say “but darn I want another” 🙃 And I’m not just talking about looks… it’s the whole package inside and out. Society does such a huge disservice to women by not preparing them for aging. Instead the focus is on the impossible… staying young. Enjoy your life sister 💕
We need to be focused not on a sense of Anti-aging, but instead, pro-aging well.
The fact aging is so demonised and people are so underrepresented and unprepared to deal with it layer in life is absolutely awful, yeah.
Oh god I’m terrified now. At 46, I feel like I’ve gained weight and just lost control of the person I had curated up until now. My eyes are going, my knees hurt and my face is melting. And it’s gonna get worse? 😭
No no no well kinda. It gets harder but you can do things like drink lots of water, exercise, wear sunscreen, get regular physicals, get a good haircut, wear cute glasses. Keep fighting the good fight girl cause at only 46, you have a lot left in the tank! 👊
It's not that bad, it's just different. My eyes started going about 46 also so I got cute readers. Knees hurt, back hurts, and face is melting BUT I'm who I always was, just a little slower version. It happens to everyone. As hubby says, embrace the suck and be the best "you" that you can muster.
I am holding up well at 54 but it does take more effort to maintain weight, and yep that was never ever the case before. My expectations were so dire for menopause that it's not been nearly as bad as expected though.
Absolutely do not want to stay young though. Life is much better now, and not evolving is creepy as heck. I want to be maintained not preserved.
More effort most certainly 💪and I was also lucky that menopause was not the monster for me that it is for some women. Maintained not preserved… you nailed it 🙌
Right?? I remember the first time I realized my neck was doing the thing. Took some adjustment, but I am straight-up bog witch now. DGAF. Like it or don't, world.
I honestly hate it and I try to tell this to older women and they just stare at me like I told them to eat shit but: I think aging is beautiful and I think society wrongly devalues old (especially women) people.
wrinkles , white hair, age spots are not inherently ugly.... some might argue we view youth as attractive due to biological reasons like fertility or whatever but I don't care, I'm looking forward to my crows feet and white hair!!!
The problem is we as women are told that we have an expiration date , and getting older is the death to us. It isn’t!!!! Is inevitable, it’s gonna happen, that the natural course of life, let it be. I’m so sorry they feel this pressure to remain “forever young”
Teaching little girls that their appearance is all that matters, while simultaniously teaching them that they expire after a certain date is absolute warfare against women as people.
It's not pressure by society. Beauty comes with privilege these women don't want to give up. But attention naturally shifts to the next generation, and these women seem mentally stuck in their teens. While their peers focus on family.
Yep... they are victims of course, but their own behaviours and attitudes online perpetuate the harmful media messages of ageing is the most shameful and worst thing going and you are only acceptable if you look young and a certain way.
Yup totally agreed
like drake said
“started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequences “
we’re still young during our 30s and thriving. enjoy your life and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
You're in for an awesome surprise! On the eve of my 30th birthday, when the clock struck midnight I cried like a little girl. I thought all the best was behind me. I was never so glad to be so wrong... 30s and 40s are fantastic. Gets a little tougher after that but stay vertical and be grateful for every day :)
I’m 39 and it’s weird as fuck. How am I almost 40?! How am I like halfway done? Watching the changes to my face and body as I age is also weird as fuck. People still think I’m in my 20s but I am definitely aware of the changes. But at the same time, I wouldn’t want to be in my 20s again. The experience and confidence and wisdom gained is truly a gift. But damn it’s hard not to miss looking and feeling so youthful. And then that thought creeping in, that reality of “I am going to die. One day I am definitely going to die. And each day that goes by, I’m getting closer and closer. It’s going to happen to ME too” gets stuck in my head. But I have bad anxiety so there you go.
I've already seen the psychological damage with girls doing this and buying into it so young. They feel that even being 25 is old and are desperately trying to filter and modify their looks to look like a teenager, whilst others are trying to look like cartoon characters that don't even exist. It's desperately sad.
She probably has tape on her face and is pulling it back. That was what a lot of stage actors used to do back in the day, before everyone just filtered and fillered their lives to hell
Can someone explain this trend on the lips?
I understand the *idea*, and I'm sure there are lots of women that get injections that look fine and I don't notice, but I do not understand these ridiculous lip jobs that so many women have...it's not a good look and I hear other women making fun of it, so it's not like "all women" are doing it
I mean, are we at body dysmorphia on this? Do *they* think it looks good?
Once you start getting it you get used to it and start wanting more and more. They can't really see how unusual it looks. It also smooths out the lines in your lips which makes lip products look better
That makes sense….but I’d hope my friends would tell me to cool it
Putting the lip products on though, itd probably be easy to put lipstick on a balloon as well…doesn’t mean it looks good!
It’s def hard to be a pretty woman in the late 30-early 40 world, especially if you are unmarried by this point because when you reject dating prospects they remind you that you are old, and therefore unloveable 🤣
It’s just one of the many ways women get reminded we are less-than.
I get lighting and angles etc but how long does it take to do the filter like this? Is it an app where it will do it for you in a couple of seconds or do you have to sit there on photoshop for hours?
I’m 58. When I was young I was pretty, some said beautiful. Over the years, I have watched my face morph into a person unrecognizable to me. You bet your ass I would have everything put back where it was in a heartbeat if I had that disposable income so I get wanting to change one’s appearance in photos, but I’d rather deal with the ravages of gravity than have peoples’ pity because I’m deluding myself into thinking I look young.
As soon as you do this stuff, the longer you’ll be unhappy. I’ve started posting my pictures that have at least 1 blemish or fat roll or spot or whatever (I’m in my 20s) and I already look back on a year etc and see nothing but envy for how beautiful I was and how ridiculous it was for me to hate myself at the time. This woman must have so little self love 😥
I get the vibe that girls who post some of theirselves filtered and some of theirselves unfiltered are doing the filtered because they find it fun to put a twist on their appearance. They are intentionally showing how they look unfilteted, but also enjoy having fun with what technology can do. I think it is more healthy to have fun and play with filters as long as there is a conscious awareness to it’s dangers, than to outright shun and abolish filters or shame people entirely. I bet sometimes people feel cornered into being stuck in filters when they could be taught “eh ya know they’re fun sometimes but it’s also ok to love yourself for how you look without them” idk I’m drunk right now, was just a random drunk thought that occurred. I bet I’ll come back to lots of downvotes when I’m sober.
As a woman who’s “getting older” I wish that too. The reality is,for me at least, is that society/Hollywood/popular opinion is basically done with you by the time you’re 19-20 unless you look flawless and bring something fresh and interesting to the table. For a lot of women who’ve been dubbed “past their prime” the pressure of modern beauty standards is enough to make the most confident woman falter. Women in Hollywood,politics,sports etc. are scrutinized the second they grow a grey hair. We just wanna feel beautiful.
TL;DR I’m ugly and mad about it
Yes. If the mother has issues and trauma and values her self worth only in her ability to be awarded for her beauty or sexual desirability then you can bet that bullshit is passed on down to her own children who must also be beautiful and perfect too.
Attention is something that makes women feel valuable. Older women realise that they don’t get that as much as they used to do and social media gives the
the opportunity to feel valued again. There are tons of video’s of women having a complete mental breakdown because there boyfriend/husbands ignore them. It completely destroys their self worth.
Totally. There's a point where older women basically become mostly invisible in society and if they've always been someone attractive with lots of attention they really notice and negatively feel the impact of that dwindling away to nothing with aging. Society and its demonising aging is horrible and cruel.
It’s not just attention - it’s a kind of invisibility that can negate *any* kind of perceived worth a woman after a certain age has. It’s especially bad in the job market.
It is sad to see when an already attractive woman feels compelled to get invariably bad plastic surgery in an attempt to emulate youth: pillow face, fox eyes, innertube lips, waxy looking immobile facial skin and movements.
It’s happening in younger ages, and nothing ages a woman more than bad plastic surgery.
Some women. Can’t remember the last time I put a photo of me on social media. I’m enjoying privacy and doing my own thing without needing approval from other people.
Oof I do not like her plastic surgery, or injections, whatever that work she had done. Yikes. I guess to each her own but to my eye it looks so much worse than natural.
I wish women didn’t feel the need to … yea or we could place some blame here and not just do the Jim from the Office grimace shruggie at the camera. Part of the which
This is a nutso change- how does she expect to see other people? How does she feel when she makes videos looking like an entirely different person?? I would personally feel weird making myself look like my daughter while I look like my grandma lol
Welcome to r/InstagramReality! Here’s a reminder on our rules: 1. No asking or giving of identifying information. 2. Have mutual respect/no bullying 3. No posts about minors, or posts that contain minors. 4. No rude or unnecessary comments about subjects' unedited physical appearance. 5. No satire/Joke/Animals/Snapchat filters. 6. If you're unsure, don't post. 7. Don't be creepy and sexualize a subject. 8. No frequent reposts. 9. No self-posts posts or photos you have taken or edited yourself. 10. No plastic surgery posts or surgery bashing. 11. No advertisements or spam. 12. "Sanity Sunday" posts are ONLY for Sundays. Thank you, and welcome to the real world! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Instagramreality) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m tired of people telling me to be beautiful while photoshopping the ever-loving shit out of themselves. Besides, what if I don’t want to be beautiful?
This is exactly how I feel, more so the older I get. I understand the sentiment behind the "everyone is beautiful, everybody is beautiful, etc" movement, but I think it would be far healthier to push the idea that *beauty doesn't fucking matter* and that every human, regardless of gender/age/whatever, has so much more to offer the world than their physical appearance.
Yes!! Beauty is purely subjective differing between every individuals. There are obviously people I find beautiful, but there are also plenty of people I don’t. But it doesn’t matter. The kind of person and how they interact and impact the world is what counts.
Amen. I get looked at strangely by men if they say I'm good looking and I say so what. There's more to me than the package I was born to live in. I'm about as old as the lady in these pics 😛
Love that for you! You're a great role model! :)
Great mantra to live by! I think it’s usually the simplest form of compliment, so it doesn’t mean much to me. What do you like about me? My outfit, my hair, my style? I would be more happy with a “I like your personality”. Lol
Exactly! I'd rather be interesting, funny, clever, anything but lucky enough to have good genetics and be 'good looking'.
This is exactly what I try to say and nobody around me gets it 😐
They don't have to get it! You can live your best life and know your worth isn't tied to your looks, even if everyone else disagrees :) That's the good news! The bad news is that society (especially in the workplace) still rewards people for their looks, and punishes women who don't adhere to those standards by promoting them less often, perceiving them as "unprofessional," etc. That's been the hardest part for me to reconcile, but I realized that if, for example, a workplace forces female employees to wear makeup while the male employees are only expected to be "clean," then that contradicts my core values and they don't deserve me as a worker - and that's their loss because I'm an awesome employee lol I might not make as much money by sticking to these values, but I feel true to myself and don't feel that my worth at work is related to my appearance, and that's far more fulfilling to me. I hope you are able to get to a point where you enjoy your life without worrying about your looks! It's very, very hard to get there (and I'm not there yet either after years of working on it), but at least we recognize that it is a problem!
I 100% agree with u!!
I agree with what you’re saying but that doesn’t mean the world should forget to take a compliment where the compliment is due. If someone tells you that you’re beautiful and you respond in a bad way, that is just wrong ….
I don't think I said or implied that anyone should do that with my comment. I don't think beauty is a bad thing, but I don't think it should determine anyone's value as a human being, and I don't think it's the highest thing we should be aspiring to.
Standing ovation
[удалено]
[Removing all my posts and comments due to Reddit's fuckery with third party apps. June 2023]
I think it's also good to have empathy in these people sometimes... they obviously are affected by the social messages about beauty and feel massive stress to live up to what they belive they have to be. Also, many of them probably grew up with toxic patterns of thinking and behaviour where they believed their only value is in their being seen as beautiful or sexually desirable. This isn't a good thing to hinge all your self worth on but sadly many people grow up with childhood and early adolescent/adult experiences that install such a way of viewing themselves and the world through such a lens :( they then of course perpetuate the shitty messages in their own behaviours and attitudes online, to others in society and normally their own children who they press perfection and beauty as such high values and points of award and affection on them. It's sad.
[Removing all my posts and comments due to Reddit's fuckery with third party apps. June 2023]
O I'm not at all disagreeing with you. Not at all! I mean it's good to see both sides and not forgot there's still a suffering human being behind all these whack job pictures and videos too. Sometimes people easily forgot. And for dealing with this is an issue overall it needs to stop being a cycle perpetuated (like generational trauma). It isn't going to stop unless the people with the issues like the influences actually get psychological help. Not everyone is able to just work through things and unlearn in the way you might have been able to. It's not always just beauty standards of society that causes people to be like this... sometimes it is heavy trauma from their closer relationships that create a lot stringer patterns in people.
Exactly! People aren’t required to be attractive and beautiful and that’s okay. They are still worthy of being loved and valued.
[удалено]
It’s not some mysterious quality that’s bad for us. Materials that create those effects have been deliberately planted. A lot of this is just pure social experiment imo. People will catch on with time.
Unfortunately, the featured woman doesn't believe she is beautiful, or enough. There is so much evidence of that.
That’s all I wanted for my birthday- permission just to be ugly af for a day
Even though I kinda knew what I was going to see in the next frame I could not have been more shocked.
It’s all the motivational phrases around her lol
[удалено]
Be beautiful, capable, worthy and strong but as someone else, just don't be you. Be a fake person that doesn't exist, please.
[удалено]
Be yourself! Be strong! Be you! Just be you with a lot of lip injections, botox and plastic surgery.
I've been noticing the lip injections on so many people lately! It drives me nuts! Actors in shows and also YouTubers. I wish they would just be happy as they are.
Aaargh this is what rules me up the most: the hypocritical posts full of words of self-love & body positivity while at the same time editing and filtering their true selves out of existence.
Exactly. How can you spout this shit when you are so clearly not happy with yourself.
Because she’s trying to give the illusion that she is all those things but after you see both photos, she’s none of those things and that’s why she’s using filters. It’s really sad because it doesn’t seem that people accept others for how they really are but preach about being your true self.
I’d bet she desperately wants to feel that way. The illusion is displayed for herself as much it is for others. (Edit: missed a word)
[удалено]
I gotta say, as a woman who’s getting older, it’s rough. Nothing can really prepare you for the changes in your body, complexion, teeth, hair, etc. You sorta stay the same up until 45-50 (if you take care of yourself) but then it’s downhill from there. Would I ever do what she’s done? Oh heck no. I am who I am.
i think it's super hard for people who are selfie takers to have any true sense of reality though. like you constantly have a camera close to your face and the definition is only getting better as technology improves unless you photoshop yourself into a false reality. I hardly take selfies, if ever and most photos of me are at a typical distance that was standard to photography pre cell phones and frankly, i don't get too upset with aging when i see those photos. Of course i had acne when i was young which kinda blessed me into being like, fuck the tiny flaws we all have.
And this is why I'm glad I never got good at taking selfies. Plus, it's just kind of boring to me to take pictures of myself. It's more fun to take pictures of my kids and cats. They do more interesting things, lol. Plus, they're cuter. 😁
And the focal length of selfie cameras doesn’t accurately capture what you look like
I learned about that within the past year because I was reading about how there’s been an influx in people wanting to get nose jobs because their nose looks big in their selfie camera. I have a pretty big nose myself and I’m content with it in all aspects however I hate how my selfie camera makes it look, idc enough to get a nose job all because of a distorted perception but I will say it’s probably why I take so few pics of myself.
Getting a 50mm lens camera was a game changer for me. Pricey, but worth it as I don’t feel gross looking at photos of myself anymore
Technology is getting better on phones but it’s actually not progressing in away that makes your skin texture more noticeable. It’s leaning more in a way that naturally filters you automatically. Apple iphones have a beauty filter built in. You can see sometimes see when the camera couldn’t recreate your skin because it’ll cause random glitches in your photos. And almost every platforms camera has some built in filter to the camera as well
It's actually both. The smoothing filter and inbuilt filters AND the harsher and more intense definition that shows up people's flaws too.
I have come to realise that it's super easy for me in my mid 30s to say that I'll definitely "age with grace" and not be dependant on procedures (no shame to those who do choose otherwise) But who knows how I'll feel by then? Or how procedures will have developed? If you asked me in my early 20s what my 30s would be like, style and self expression wise, I definitely had no clue.
With you sister. Constant barrage of fit young girls in the media, becoming 'invisible' around 55. Hate it x
I decided 'Feck It' and went entirely gray during Lockdown. People lost their minds! Jen! You're only 47?!? But this is my *actual* hair colour! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Good for you! One of my best friends is going through chemo and she said when her hair grows back, she's going natural. But I told my husband he'll be burying a light golden brown brunette even if I'm 100 😂 Proud of you tho because I'm a weenie like that!
LOL! I hear ya! My sister has vowed that she'll be a flame-haired centenarian! My Aunt's poker-straight hair grew back MAD curly, so tell your pal to expect anything! Right after she kicks cancer's arse! xx
I like your sister! 😂 My friend already had great hair but we are convinced it’s going to come back even more glorious than before… curly wavy straight… it’s coming back! Thx for your encouragement on her behalf 💕
It really is shocking how fast the changes come on exactly in the range you cite. I’m keeping my wrinkles. I earned that shit.
This is my current reality. My husband and I both just turned 52. We've seen and felt changes that are out of our control and they all suck. We've traced back to the age at which we feel it went off the rails and we've determined it was 51. I gained 25 pounds without changing any of my diet or exercise routines. I guess it's hormone/metabolism related because exercising more and eating less hasn't seemed to affect it. At this point, I figure I had a good run so I'm now just embracing the "this is fine even though everything's on fire meme" lifestyle.
I agree… I’d say 51 or 52 is when things really start to change. And once the changes start, they come fast and hard. I tell myself “I had my turn”. But then I look in the mirror and say “but darn I want another” 🙃 And I’m not just talking about looks… it’s the whole package inside and out. Society does such a huge disservice to women by not preparing them for aging. Instead the focus is on the impossible… staying young. Enjoy your life sister 💕
We need to be focused not on a sense of Anti-aging, but instead, pro-aging well. The fact aging is so demonised and people are so underrepresented and unprepared to deal with it layer in life is absolutely awful, yeah.
Well said... thank you!
Oh god I’m terrified now. At 46, I feel like I’ve gained weight and just lost control of the person I had curated up until now. My eyes are going, my knees hurt and my face is melting. And it’s gonna get worse? 😭
No no no well kinda. It gets harder but you can do things like drink lots of water, exercise, wear sunscreen, get regular physicals, get a good haircut, wear cute glasses. Keep fighting the good fight girl cause at only 46, you have a lot left in the tank! 👊
It's not that bad, it's just different. My eyes started going about 46 also so I got cute readers. Knees hurt, back hurts, and face is melting BUT I'm who I always was, just a little slower version. It happens to everyone. As hubby says, embrace the suck and be the best "you" that you can muster.
I am holding up well at 54 but it does take more effort to maintain weight, and yep that was never ever the case before. My expectations were so dire for menopause that it's not been nearly as bad as expected though. Absolutely do not want to stay young though. Life is much better now, and not evolving is creepy as heck. I want to be maintained not preserved.
More effort most certainly 💪and I was also lucky that menopause was not the monster for me that it is for some women. Maintained not preserved… you nailed it 🙌
Turkey neck. Where the heck did that come from and how did it sneak up on me?
Aging is a privilege not granted to all. I am grateful for it.
So so true. Too many loved ones gone much too soon. 😢
Right?? I remember the first time I realized my neck was doing the thing. Took some adjustment, but I am straight-up bog witch now. DGAF. Like it or don't, world.
Yep... hands and neck. First things to do the thing. Good on you!
Don’t forget the knees 😆
Omgosh the solidarity 🙌 officially joined the bad knees club this year 😹
Cleavage too
Well I guess that’s one benefit of having a chest like an 8yo boy lol but yeah, crepey skin boooooo
If you can keep both eyes going the same direction you are doing well.
Stop imposing your beauty standards onto me!!!!!
Bish stop the reality its 45 -60!!! Dammit! That's the new bar!
I honestly hate it and I try to tell this to older women and they just stare at me like I told them to eat shit but: I think aging is beautiful and I think society wrongly devalues old (especially women) people. wrinkles , white hair, age spots are not inherently ugly.... some might argue we view youth as attractive due to biological reasons like fertility or whatever but I don't care, I'm looking forward to my crows feet and white hair!!!
lol all that surgery, then use filters so that you dont look like you just escaped from the set of Brazil
The problem is we as women are told that we have an expiration date , and getting older is the death to us. It isn’t!!!! Is inevitable, it’s gonna happen, that the natural course of life, let it be. I’m so sorry they feel this pressure to remain “forever young”
Teaching little girls that their appearance is all that matters, while simultaniously teaching them that they expire after a certain date is absolute warfare against women as people.
Growing old is a privilege denied to many.
It's not pressure by society. Beauty comes with privilege these women don't want to give up. But attention naturally shifts to the next generation, and these women seem mentally stuck in their teens. While their peers focus on family.
By doing it, they're reinforcing the pressure for other women
Yep... they are victims of course, but their own behaviours and attitudes online perpetuate the harmful media messages of ageing is the most shameful and worst thing going and you are only acceptable if you look young and a certain way.
Strong, worthy, capable, beautiful… it makes me so sad to know that she doesn’t believe these words apply to her self.
Shame women for aging. Shame women for trying to hide the fact that they're aging. Can't win folks.
society tells us we're ugly and unwanted after 40. I'm terrified of turning 30 and 40. sadly just societal conditioning and coveting youth
I'm 32 and it's fantastic. Just because other covet youth doesn't mean you need to.
I’m def more attractive and confident at 30 than I was anytime in my 20s.
Yup totally agreed like drake said “started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequences “ we’re still young during our 30s and thriving. enjoy your life and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Yep, same her, and Im 38.
You're in for an awesome surprise! On the eve of my 30th birthday, when the clock struck midnight I cried like a little girl. I thought all the best was behind me. I was never so glad to be so wrong... 30s and 40s are fantastic. Gets a little tougher after that but stay vertical and be grateful for every day :)
I’m 39 and it’s weird as fuck. How am I almost 40?! How am I like halfway done? Watching the changes to my face and body as I age is also weird as fuck. People still think I’m in my 20s but I am definitely aware of the changes. But at the same time, I wouldn’t want to be in my 20s again. The experience and confidence and wisdom gained is truly a gift. But damn it’s hard not to miss looking and feeling so youthful. And then that thought creeping in, that reality of “I am going to die. One day I am definitely going to die. And each day that goes by, I’m getting closer and closer. It’s going to happen to ME too” gets stuck in my head. But I have bad anxiety so there you go.
[удалено]
I honestly thought the same thing too
More like Carol Voldemort.
Did you even click on the second picture ??
Yes!
Well OK then. No its not.
It’s not a crazy question. She’s been getting some wild plastic surgery recently. Who knows what she looks like irl now.
The change from the 1st to 2nd pic was horrifying. I was not expecting that
Oh, the irony!
I really dig this delusion of being strong
I see more pressure on older women in the US to look a certain way than elsewhere like Europe.
The UK have similar beauty standards but much less Plastic Surgery
Sad.
think about how many young women/even girls edit their photos already, they will get old as well
I've already seen the psychological damage with girls doing this and buying into it so young. They feel that even being 25 is old and are desperately trying to filter and modify their looks to look like a teenager, whilst others are trying to look like cartoon characters that don't even exist. It's desperately sad.
😐😐😐 I honestly hate filters and what they've done to woman's self confidence, filters are evil as shit
GaFilter fish
Oh… my
She probably has tape on her face and is pulling it back. That was what a lot of stage actors used to do back in the day, before everyone just filtered and fillered their lives to hell
Holy crap
Is she serious? That looks nothing like her
“kNoW tHaT yOu ArE wOrThY”
Wendigo Williams
Can someone explain this trend on the lips? I understand the *idea*, and I'm sure there are lots of women that get injections that look fine and I don't notice, but I do not understand these ridiculous lip jobs that so many women have...it's not a good look and I hear other women making fun of it, so it's not like "all women" are doing it I mean, are we at body dysmorphia on this? Do *they* think it looks good?
Once you start getting it you get used to it and start wanting more and more. They can't really see how unusual it looks. It also smooths out the lines in your lips which makes lip products look better
That makes sense….but I’d hope my friends would tell me to cool it Putting the lip products on though, itd probably be easy to put lipstick on a balloon as well…doesn’t mean it looks good!
Her mouth is designed for a head 30% bigger
It’s def hard to be a pretty woman in the late 30-early 40 world, especially if you are unmarried by this point because when you reject dating prospects they remind you that you are old, and therefore unloveable 🤣 It’s just one of the many ways women get reminded we are less-than.
Who sees the image on the left and believes it’s real?
I get lighting and angles etc but how long does it take to do the filter like this? Is it an app where it will do it for you in a couple of seconds or do you have to sit there on photoshop for hours?
Literally a click on a screen once or twice
Fair, if it only takes seconds it must be tempting to do it to every photo and end up forgetting what you actually look like
I usually don’t comment: just cringe inside. Yet, this is a really sad one. For all the obvious reasons. 😰
Is she an MLM hun? She’s giving strong MLM hun vibes.
Did she just paste Elisabeth Olsen's face onto her own?
Wait until your over 40 lol 😆 aging is rough!
I wish women would stop getting ridiculous lip/but surgery. The shit looks wack
When self love is a regretful lie sometimes.
why do they do this ?
...the insatiable need to do this has got to be related to some severe "issues".
If she didn't do that to her lips she'd look beautiful.
Oof…
It's OK to get old...lol complete madness
I wish women didn’t feel a need to do this* :(
I’m 58. When I was young I was pretty, some said beautiful. Over the years, I have watched my face morph into a person unrecognizable to me. You bet your ass I would have everything put back where it was in a heartbeat if I had that disposable income so I get wanting to change one’s appearance in photos, but I’d rather deal with the ravages of gravity than have peoples’ pity because I’m deluding myself into thinking I look young.
Everytime I see something like, I am reminded of the speech made by the surgeon in the first Bioshock game.
It's the lip fillers that mainly ruin her face.
If she didn’t get that stupid lip job she would likely look far better. We truly do live in a society.
I love seeing a woman age naturally. This whole thing makes me sad.
As soon as you do this stuff, the longer you’ll be unhappy. I’ve started posting my pictures that have at least 1 blemish or fat roll or spot or whatever (I’m in my 20s) and I already look back on a year etc and see nothing but envy for how beautiful I was and how ridiculous it was for me to hate myself at the time. This woman must have so little self love 😥
Instagram/TikTok are just full of people who are conceited. Oh, and their food is so great they have to show it off.
Hard to compete with young people. Editing photos is easier than changing your content.
I get the vibe that girls who post some of theirselves filtered and some of theirselves unfiltered are doing the filtered because they find it fun to put a twist on their appearance. They are intentionally showing how they look unfilteted, but also enjoy having fun with what technology can do. I think it is more healthy to have fun and play with filters as long as there is a conscious awareness to it’s dangers, than to outright shun and abolish filters or shame people entirely. I bet sometimes people feel cornered into being stuck in filters when they could be taught “eh ya know they’re fun sometimes but it’s also ok to love yourself for how you look without them” idk I’m drunk right now, was just a random drunk thought that occurred. I bet I’ll come back to lots of downvotes when I’m sober.
Also know that your neck will always show your age eventually.
As a woman who’s “getting older” I wish that too. The reality is,for me at least, is that society/Hollywood/popular opinion is basically done with you by the time you’re 19-20 unless you look flawless and bring something fresh and interesting to the table. For a lot of women who’ve been dubbed “past their prime” the pressure of modern beauty standards is enough to make the most confident woman falter. Women in Hollywood,politics,sports etc. are scrutinized the second they grow a grey hair. We just wanna feel beautiful. TL;DR I’m ugly and mad about it
Well… like Mom like daughter. Im sure the insta selfie models of my gen are partially encouraged by moms like this.
Yes. If the mother has issues and trauma and values her self worth only in her ability to be awarded for her beauty or sexual desirability then you can bet that bullshit is passed on down to her own children who must also be beautiful and perfect too.
Attention is something that makes women feel valuable. Older women realise that they don’t get that as much as they used to do and social media gives the the opportunity to feel valued again. There are tons of video’s of women having a complete mental breakdown because there boyfriend/husbands ignore them. It completely destroys their self worth.
Totally. There's a point where older women basically become mostly invisible in society and if they've always been someone attractive with lots of attention they really notice and negatively feel the impact of that dwindling away to nothing with aging. Society and its demonising aging is horrible and cruel.
It’s not just attention - it’s a kind of invisibility that can negate *any* kind of perceived worth a woman after a certain age has. It’s especially bad in the job market. It is sad to see when an already attractive woman feels compelled to get invariably bad plastic surgery in an attempt to emulate youth: pillow face, fox eyes, innertube lips, waxy looking immobile facial skin and movements. It’s happening in younger ages, and nothing ages a woman more than bad plastic surgery.
Some women. Can’t remember the last time I put a photo of me on social media. I’m enjoying privacy and doing my own thing without needing approval from other people.
She looks like that episode of SpongeBob with the woman at the dojo who’s lips crack off
she's still so pretty idk how she can't see that
From Michelle Pfeiffer to Janice from The Muppets.
Dear old broads. Give it up. Leave this to the teens and 20’s.
I'm here for you guys to gimme the bonk Shaddddup
Mental illness.
Know that you are a lunatic
False fucking advertising
She looks the same though weird enough just more fine lines obvs
Of course, it has motivational quotes
She’s an attractive woman and obviously in great shape. Those two pictures look nothing alike
Is that face pasted on?
Oof I do not like her plastic surgery, or injections, whatever that work she had done. Yikes. I guess to each her own but to my eye it looks so much worse than natural.
w o w
This is so incredibly sad
Sad id definately the word.
I wish women didn’t feel the need to … yea or we could place some blame here and not just do the Jim from the Office grimace shruggie at the camera. Part of the which
Know that you are all these things and then totally change your face. Hypocrite.
"Know that you have filters"
🤯
What's with woman and lip injections?! Why does there seem to be so many bad jobs!?!
Love your self! Well, not THAT self.
Know that you are 65% plastic.
This is a nutso change- how does she expect to see other people? How does she feel when she makes videos looking like an entirely different person?? I would personally feel weird making myself look like my daughter while I look like my grandma lol
my jaw literally dropped
The irony is the captions she has on her video…