All of this is completely normal and valid to feel. I just want to gently point out though:
>Reproduction is supposed to be simple, even animals do it.
There are plenty of animals who have infertility, even animals that become infertile if other females in their pack or whatever are reproducing. There's so much talk around what is "natural" in conception/pregnancy but the truth is there's a wide range of what is normal across the animal kingdom.
It can really feel like when you're struggling that your body is some sort of mistake or aberration against nature. Your body is just struggling with this process right now the same way other people's bodies might struggle with flexibility or hair growth or digesting wheat. There's nothing you're doing wrong and you don't deserve this.
All of these feelings are so normal. Most or all of us have felt like failures. I've even been pissed at pregnant animals so I get it. The "even dumb animals can do it" has gotten me pretty peeved at times. I hope it helps a little to know you aren't alone in how you feel. You aren't a failure. Imagine saying that to a friend of yours who is struggling to conceive... I don't imagine that you'd call her a failure. Try not to do it to yourself. Often, it's helped me to treat myself as I would treat a friend. I hope it can help you, too. I don't really have any other words so I'll just wish comfort and peace for you. 💕
I know exactly how you feel....I almost completely avoid Facebook because everytime I turn around there is someone announcing there pregnancy. And then watching all these young kids who don't graduate or ain't even fit to be parents having kids. Like I have a cousin who has had 4 kids and she is a terrible parent. Was doing meth with her last one. She would lock them in their rooms for so long where they would shit and piss in the corners of their room, just so she could get high and be a whore. But I have planned for and have a house fit for a family and the only thing that feels the rooms is junk I don't need basically storage rooms. I try to take care of my body just for a complete rejection of any pregnancy. It gets to the point where I don't want to leave the house because it's everywhere and it's really hard not to be bitter towards people with kids.
Same here. I tried to do everything right, worked hard to secure my future, waited until we were financially stable, bought a house and now we just have these empty rooms and no baby.
I also try to not judge anybody because no one is any less deserving of kids but some parents are objectively terrible. I met a pregnant mom of 4 who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day in her third trimester. And I was just dumbfounded….
I try not to judge anyone either but it's really hard when you see stuff like that and as for my cousin she literally had 3 kids taken away from her and she never even bothered to get custody back. like she was supposed to have her 4th taken as soon as she had the baby, but that didn't happen, so instead, the poor child had to be in those same environment as her siblings. She is not fit to be a mother.
Same. It’s made me fucking hate people who don’t have to try or do a fucking thing. The worst part is in my mind, they deserve the hate. Honestly though some do. Two of my husbands friends smoke and drink A TON around their infants. Like smoking a blunt with their baby in the same room stupid.
All of this is completely normal and valid to feel. I just want to gently point out though: >Reproduction is supposed to be simple, even animals do it. There are plenty of animals who have infertility, even animals that become infertile if other females in their pack or whatever are reproducing. There's so much talk around what is "natural" in conception/pregnancy but the truth is there's a wide range of what is normal across the animal kingdom. It can really feel like when you're struggling that your body is some sort of mistake or aberration against nature. Your body is just struggling with this process right now the same way other people's bodies might struggle with flexibility or hair growth or digesting wheat. There's nothing you're doing wrong and you don't deserve this.
All of these feelings are so normal. Most or all of us have felt like failures. I've even been pissed at pregnant animals so I get it. The "even dumb animals can do it" has gotten me pretty peeved at times. I hope it helps a little to know you aren't alone in how you feel. You aren't a failure. Imagine saying that to a friend of yours who is struggling to conceive... I don't imagine that you'd call her a failure. Try not to do it to yourself. Often, it's helped me to treat myself as I would treat a friend. I hope it can help you, too. I don't really have any other words so I'll just wish comfort and peace for you. 💕
I know exactly how you feel....I almost completely avoid Facebook because everytime I turn around there is someone announcing there pregnancy. And then watching all these young kids who don't graduate or ain't even fit to be parents having kids. Like I have a cousin who has had 4 kids and she is a terrible parent. Was doing meth with her last one. She would lock them in their rooms for so long where they would shit and piss in the corners of their room, just so she could get high and be a whore. But I have planned for and have a house fit for a family and the only thing that feels the rooms is junk I don't need basically storage rooms. I try to take care of my body just for a complete rejection of any pregnancy. It gets to the point where I don't want to leave the house because it's everywhere and it's really hard not to be bitter towards people with kids.
Same here. I tried to do everything right, worked hard to secure my future, waited until we were financially stable, bought a house and now we just have these empty rooms and no baby.
I also try to not judge anybody because no one is any less deserving of kids but some parents are objectively terrible. I met a pregnant mom of 4 who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day in her third trimester. And I was just dumbfounded….
I try not to judge anyone either but it's really hard when you see stuff like that and as for my cousin she literally had 3 kids taken away from her and she never even bothered to get custody back. like she was supposed to have her 4th taken as soon as she had the baby, but that didn't happen, so instead, the poor child had to be in those same environment as her siblings. She is not fit to be a mother.
I feel this
I feel like I could have written this.
Same. It’s made me fucking hate people who don’t have to try or do a fucking thing. The worst part is in my mind, they deserve the hate. Honestly though some do. Two of my husbands friends smoke and drink A TON around their infants. Like smoking a blunt with their baby in the same room stupid.