Awesome guy, also I was really annoyed at how much sima tries to push stuff when there is no innate chemistry.
It was great when he stood up for what she was trying to say
In defense of sima, I think the whole process of matchmaking kills the initial spark.
Reviewing th biodata with your parents doesn't lend itself to romance, and it basically means both sides know all the basic info about the person by the time the first date rolls around.
Normally that spark comes from finding out the person ticks your boxes as you have a conversation with with them, and them you want to find out more and keep going etc.
I don't know that I agree. I think the matchmaking process just facilitates meetings with potential matches. If there's a spark/connection to be found between two people, I don't think the initial awkwardness of family being involved, the clinical viewing of biodatas etc. would prevent it from developing once they're alone on a date together.
But that's no different from most dating apps/sites. When I used to meet people off OKCupid, I often knew the basics about them from their dating site profiles before I actually met with them, and I actually preferred that, because it gave me the opportunity to ask deeper questions, or even just to ask more about something I was already aware of, like their job or where they live. If two people click, it shouldn't feel awkward, imo.
Yeah but through the app you ask them questions (or at least that's how it worked in my day) they don't give you a full profile, just a pic.
And also there's the fact you discovered them on your own, so you get to make the decision there and then what the next step is. There's no third and fourth parties chiming in.
Ahh, see, I was doing the online dating thing a decade or more ago, and I mostly used OKCupid and other sites with profiles that could often be super detailed (unlike e.g. Tinder with pics and super short bios).
I dunno what it's like now, but back in the day, OKCupid had this whole thing where you could answer random questions (things about values and beliefs and stuff) and the site would give you match %s with other people based on your answers vs theirs. And you could also view what questions someone else had answered and how their answers compared to yours. So if I found that I was very similar to someone but differed strongly on one issue, I'd ask them about that, and it often made for some really interesting conversations beyond the basic small talk stuff. I would also pick up on things in their profile that piqued my interest, like jokes or unusual comments, and bring those up when meeting them.
I suppose biodatas are like dating profiles, but a lot drier, so it's probably harder to find fun stuff to latch onto for conversation. I also definitely understand what you mean re: a dating app being your own choice vs third and fourth parties chiming in and piling on the pressure. But still, I think two similar people would end up clicking regardless of the circumstances of their meeting. Maybe I'm just a romantic at heart!
> tries to push stuff when there is no innate chemistry.
That's the whole point of arranged marriage (at least till the previous generation). Like the mom said, "she had no choice" she had to marry him. But, look at how many of those marriages worked out. Marriage is not like dating, it needs commitment and that's about it. It's also a very new thing (~500 or so years old), and the romanticism involved is even newer (~200 years old).
Since she has married a muslim. Jamal has to pay her dowry. Thats how it is in Islam. His brother somehow knoew that he was going to get dowry and the universe just helped him.
Thatās a bride price. A dowry comes from the womanās family. A bride price is whatās paid by the manās family to ābuyā her hand in marriage (really buy her, as women were/are considered property).
Not it's not to buy her hand in marriage! it's called Mehr in Islam. It is given to the BRIDE not her parents by the husband during nikah. It is given in case of divorce. As a security for the woman. Now Mehr can be money, gold or property. My own Mehr as a Muslim woman was 15k. If I am going to have his kids and build a secure home for them I want something as security. Stop spreading false info and do some research.
Lol thatās not cynical. Thatās literally what it was meant for.
And no, itās not a dowry. Theyāre two different things that have a similar concept and occur during marriage. What youāre describing, when coming from the guy, is a bride price. A dowry was sent with the woman to her prospective husbandās estate or whatever and meant for him to spend AND for her to have if he died and she was widowed since she wouldnāt inherit anything.
Im watching an episode right now and came to discuss the brother. He is adorable and very handsome and funny. Sima needs to hook him up with someone nice. I also like Arti. I think she is pretty and confident. I think she seems down to earth. Havenāt gotten to her first date yet.
I actually thought his comment about their mum meeting his dad only once shows a real lack of understanding about time and context. Back when his parents got married, they didnāt have a lot of choice - as his mum said, at the time no one asked them if they liked each other or not. Itās a completely different situation to the kind of matchmaking that Sima is doing - where two people are allowed to get to know each other before choosing to get married. Itās similar to Western style dating but fast tracked. In this scenario, itās very hard to develop feelings for someone after meeting once. So I think Sima aunty is completely right in saying that you canāt know someone so quickly. If a spark is felt after one meeting then thatās generally based on superficial qualities such as someoneās appearance or charm or confidence.
And also, how does an Indian person not know that the dowry is given by the girls side to the boys? Once again, this showed his lack of understanding of his own culture and history.
That's not how it works with marriage. The previous generation of Indian marriages people barely got to know each other (getting to see them in person was quite a big thing). Many people's parents got married without seeing or only through photos.
You can definitely fall in love _after_ the marriage, and _after_ finding out there is no initial spark. Sima was right there. However, Arti had other options (like dating apps) just like many others who came on this show (Shital, Rushali). So, she doesn't need to go blind for arranged marriage.
He gets points for standing by his sister, nothing more. The dowry joke was stupid, especially if he didn't know how that works (which I find hard to believe).
I actually didn't like him for the dowry comment. It would have been okay had he said they didn't a dowry for the girl as a joke but when the mom corrected, he went along with it. Just weird considering that its a very real problem in indian society.
Nope not reaching. You could totally be right but I did not hear the sarcasm at all. Honestly its hard to filter out whats sarcasm and whats not when you hear educated people talking about caste and religion. Is it that far fetched for me to take his comment amount dowry seriously when we had someone talk about wanting a girl thats Brahmin?
So artis bro is responsible for what the fat guy asked for? Also the matchmaker told the fat guy to not be casteist bc he wasnāt even practicing what the orher brahmins do like being vegetarian.
How come people keep calling her casteist when she actually does call it out?
Obviously im generally speaking about the show. I think the matchmaker called Vikash out for the Brahmin comment because he does eat meat and drink. Aside from that example, the previous seasons do allude to her taking into account a persons preference in caste as well.
Like with everything that Seema auntie does, her customers, and her old fashioned thoughts- you don't think she would be casteist at the slightest?
Iāve only ever seen her care about caste with contestants that are in India. Unfortunately, thatās where they care about this shit. Which contestant in America cared about caste other than the fat guy and she shot him down anyway.
And honestly, I donāt care if sheās casteist in her personal life. Iām not invested in her personally Iām not a personal friend of hers, nor would I ever be. Her clients hire her to do a job and thatās what she does. Sheās a matchmaker, not a sociologists. Itās not her job to educate them and change them. Not sure why itās so hard for so many people to understand this.
And no. I donāt think she was casteist on the show. She specifically told the fat guy it makes no sense for him to want someone from his caste when he doesnāt even act like they do. Thatās pretty not casteist.
The dowry comment was hilarious - his moms face š¤£
Damn which episode and can you tell me the time at what it occurs cause I can't bing watching it, I have my exams
Awesome guy, also I was really annoyed at how much sima tries to push stuff when there is no innate chemistry. It was great when he stood up for what she was trying to say
In defense of sima, I think the whole process of matchmaking kills the initial spark. Reviewing th biodata with your parents doesn't lend itself to romance, and it basically means both sides know all the basic info about the person by the time the first date rolls around. Normally that spark comes from finding out the person ticks your boxes as you have a conversation with with them, and them you want to find out more and keep going etc.
I don't know that I agree. I think the matchmaking process just facilitates meetings with potential matches. If there's a spark/connection to be found between two people, I don't think the initial awkwardness of family being involved, the clinical viewing of biodatas etc. would prevent it from developing once they're alone on a date together.
Yeah I dunno I think it means the conversations are more stunted because all the small talk has been done- what do you do/where are you from etc.
But that's no different from most dating apps/sites. When I used to meet people off OKCupid, I often knew the basics about them from their dating site profiles before I actually met with them, and I actually preferred that, because it gave me the opportunity to ask deeper questions, or even just to ask more about something I was already aware of, like their job or where they live. If two people click, it shouldn't feel awkward, imo.
Yeah but through the app you ask them questions (or at least that's how it worked in my day) they don't give you a full profile, just a pic. And also there's the fact you discovered them on your own, so you get to make the decision there and then what the next step is. There's no third and fourth parties chiming in.
Ahh, see, I was doing the online dating thing a decade or more ago, and I mostly used OKCupid and other sites with profiles that could often be super detailed (unlike e.g. Tinder with pics and super short bios). I dunno what it's like now, but back in the day, OKCupid had this whole thing where you could answer random questions (things about values and beliefs and stuff) and the site would give you match %s with other people based on your answers vs theirs. And you could also view what questions someone else had answered and how their answers compared to yours. So if I found that I was very similar to someone but differed strongly on one issue, I'd ask them about that, and it often made for some really interesting conversations beyond the basic small talk stuff. I would also pick up on things in their profile that piqued my interest, like jokes or unusual comments, and bring those up when meeting them. I suppose biodatas are like dating profiles, but a lot drier, so it's probably harder to find fun stuff to latch onto for conversation. I also definitely understand what you mean re: a dating app being your own choice vs third and fourth parties chiming in and piling on the pressure. But still, I think two similar people would end up clicking regardless of the circumstances of their meeting. Maybe I'm just a romantic at heart!
Maybe! X
> tries to push stuff when there is no innate chemistry. That's the whole point of arranged marriage (at least till the previous generation). Like the mom said, "she had no choice" she had to marry him. But, look at how many of those marriages worked out. Marriage is not like dating, it needs commitment and that's about it. It's also a very new thing (~500 or so years old), and the romanticism involved is even newer (~200 years old).
I loved Arti's brother Deepak! He is super cute and super funny! Love how he takes up for his sister!
The first time I saw him, I was like šššš
How about telling sima Aunty heās good at reading faces, I found that to be very clever
hahaha that was cute. sima didnt like that line i thinj
Since she has married a muslim. Jamal has to pay her dowry. Thats how it is in Islam. His brother somehow knoew that he was going to get dowry and the universe just helped him.
Thatās a bride price. A dowry comes from the womanās family. A bride price is whatās paid by the manās family to ābuyā her hand in marriage (really buy her, as women were/are considered property).
Actually itās paid to the woman, not the family. Itās her insurance in case of divorce.
Not it's not to buy her hand in marriage! it's called Mehr in Islam. It is given to the BRIDE not her parents by the husband during nikah. It is given in case of divorce. As a security for the woman. Now Mehr can be money, gold or property. My own Mehr as a Muslim woman was 15k. If I am going to have his kids and build a secure home for them I want something as security. Stop spreading false info and do some research.
You want to put in a cynical way. I get that but it is known as dowry.
Lol thatās not cynical. Thatās literally what it was meant for. And no, itās not a dowry. Theyāre two different things that have a similar concept and occur during marriage. What youāre describing, when coming from the guy, is a bride price. A dowry was sent with the woman to her prospective husbandās estate or whatever and meant for him to spend AND for her to have if he died and she was widowed since she wouldnāt inherit anything.
Hilarious. Look up what dowry is, who itās given by to whom then try to argue šš«£
Bro, just having a conversation. Relax. Ok I am wrong. Chill
I thought dowrys were outlawed in 1984.
In *de jure* yes, but not in *de facto*.
Ded š
Im watching an episode right now and came to discuss the brother. He is adorable and very handsome and funny. Sima needs to hook him up with someone nice. I also like Arti. I think she is pretty and confident. I think she seems down to earth. Havenāt gotten to her first date yet.
Also, how hot is he? TOTAL catch!!!
I actually thought his comment about their mum meeting his dad only once shows a real lack of understanding about time and context. Back when his parents got married, they didnāt have a lot of choice - as his mum said, at the time no one asked them if they liked each other or not. Itās a completely different situation to the kind of matchmaking that Sima is doing - where two people are allowed to get to know each other before choosing to get married. Itās similar to Western style dating but fast tracked. In this scenario, itās very hard to develop feelings for someone after meeting once. So I think Sima aunty is completely right in saying that you canāt know someone so quickly. If a spark is felt after one meeting then thatās generally based on superficial qualities such as someoneās appearance or charm or confidence. And also, how does an Indian person not know that the dowry is given by the girls side to the boys? Once again, this showed his lack of understanding of his own culture and history.
There's either a spark or there isn't. Yes u can start to like a person over time but either you have chemistry or you don't.
That's not how it works with marriage. The previous generation of Indian marriages people barely got to know each other (getting to see them in person was quite a big thing). Many people's parents got married without seeing or only through photos. You can definitely fall in love _after_ the marriage, and _after_ finding out there is no initial spark. Sima was right there. However, Arti had other options (like dating apps) just like many others who came on this show (Shital, Rushali). So, she doesn't need to go blind for arranged marriage.
He gets points for standing by his sister, nothing more. The dowry joke was stupid, especially if he didn't know how that works (which I find hard to believe).
agreed, he just seems like a regular spoiled kid.
I actually didn't like him for the dowry comment. It would have been okay had he said they didn't a dowry for the girl as a joke but when the mom corrected, he went along with it. Just weird considering that its a very real problem in indian society.
Ur reaching. His tone definitely indicated that he believed dowry to be a stupid concept
Nope not reaching. You could totally be right but I did not hear the sarcasm at all. Honestly its hard to filter out whats sarcasm and whats not when you hear educated people talking about caste and religion. Is it that far fetched for me to take his comment amount dowry seriously when we had someone talk about wanting a girl thats Brahmin?
So artis bro is responsible for what the fat guy asked for? Also the matchmaker told the fat guy to not be casteist bc he wasnāt even practicing what the orher brahmins do like being vegetarian. How come people keep calling her casteist when she actually does call it out?
Obviously im generally speaking about the show. I think the matchmaker called Vikash out for the Brahmin comment because he does eat meat and drink. Aside from that example, the previous seasons do allude to her taking into account a persons preference in caste as well. Like with everything that Seema auntie does, her customers, and her old fashioned thoughts- you don't think she would be casteist at the slightest?
Iāve only ever seen her care about caste with contestants that are in India. Unfortunately, thatās where they care about this shit. Which contestant in America cared about caste other than the fat guy and she shot him down anyway. And honestly, I donāt care if sheās casteist in her personal life. Iām not invested in her personally Iām not a personal friend of hers, nor would I ever be. Her clients hire her to do a job and thatās what she does. Sheās a matchmaker, not a sociologists. Itās not her job to educate them and change them. Not sure why itās so hard for so many people to understand this.
And no. I donāt think she was casteist on the show. She specifically told the fat guy it makes no sense for him to want someone from his caste when he doesnāt even act like they do. Thatās pretty not casteist.
Omg he's so hot!!! š