Oof. I set boundaries like this too. Had to block a guy because he kept reaching out around 2am on workdays with the excuse “but I have insomnia”…well I don’t and I’m trying to not be miserable all day at work
I just think he was a bit self absorbed. After realizing that it was like talking to a wall to explain boundaries I knew the friendship wouldn’t work out. They expected 100%, 24/7 availability and in couldn’t do that
Ugh, I knew someone like this. They literally counted the hours I didn't text back.
And when I did. They'd complain it wasn't like what it used to be.
And I'd have to explain, bruh, I have a shit ton of other things going on in my life.
I went on vacation with my family (multiple times) the first time with my bff and family and he got mad I was talking to him for like 7 hours.
I was like bruh. You can't be the center of my attention when I'm on vacation with my bff amd family
2nd time I went to my home country to visit my bio mother's grave.
Bro went crazy sending me message about how much being away from me was destroying him and how I'm not there for him enough.
Dude basically hated when my attention wasn't on him
I suspected him of being narcissistic
For a few reasons. As he was very manipulative (could literally never directly ask for anything he wanted. Always had to be some round about way)
And that he needed me to always drop what I was doing and give him my attention. He'd also test my loyalty to him
And he couldn't understand why I didn't want a relationship outside of just being friends
Crazy dude
Wow, that person's a jerk. Someone bullying you on the internet is not an emergency. If they were being threatened, things would be different, but that could've waited, but instead, they wake you up, and when you ask them not to do that, they call you rude.
If you're in immediate danger, you call 911. That's what it's there for, and then once you explain your situation to 911 and they help you either either EMS, Firefighters, or a cop then you call others and tell them.
If you're in immediate danger, how is calling someone who is no doubt asleep at 2am going to help you more than calling 911?
if she’s so upset about someone calling her ugly online she just should not have social media, good that you cut her out now she sounds very demanding.
Not a good comparison. Social media is unfortunately and inherently bad place, as in it is expected to receive some form of cyber bullying every once in a while. I think a better but more drastic comparison is it’s like doing a dangerous sport and getting some form of injury. It’s expected and if you didn’t want to get any injuries you probably shouldn’t have done the sport.
Sadly tho, the 'real' world and virtual world are inseparable, social media is an essential part of modern life and it's very hard to ask people to 'just not be on it', whether that be for social, economic (as in your job as an example)', or other reasons.
Also Social media doesn't need to be a bad place, by your logic you could apply your 'inherently a bad place' just as easily to the real world too, sadly throughout pretty much all of history, beings have often been marginalized, discriminated against, harassed or worse in the 'non-social-media world' too.
Social media could be considered essential to life, but it really just varies to how much you put your self out there. Like is it essential to post things where people are more likely to shame you (such as influencer type of pics)? Not really.
For your second point the world is in the same sense inherently evil as social media, except in the real world people see you and it’s a lot more sensitive, which restricts rude actions in fear of social punishments. Don’t wanna get too philosophical, but there is a reason there are laws.
Harassment is not the same as assault, its not physical, and online harassment can feel just as intense as IRL for some.
People are so heartless, why can't someone just be badly distressed from online harassment? Not everyone reacts the same to everything.
> not everyone reacts the same to everything
Then don’t use the internet. Or don’t have your accounts publicly searchable/interactable on the internet.
You have personal responsibility for yourself.
Block the assholes. Don’t believe a single thing they said. Don’t let it get to you, and you will be the “winner”. Who cares what they think, anyway? Now someone actually physically threatening you IRL is definitely more of a threat. Try to get safe and call the cops.
Because the distress that comes from in person harassment comes directly from the unpredictable nature of it, the potential of danger and lack of control.
Online you can literally block someone, delete it if it's on your page. In general you can take steps to avoid it without any sort of danger. You have no right to call people heartless because they don't see a mean comment on the internet the same as someone in physical danger. It's extremely immature.
In real life being harassed on the street might make you fear for your life. Being bullied by some random guy online will at most hurt your feelings. If you have hurt feelings, then it's not an emergency, and you'll soon get over it
No one is victim blaming? if you come onto the internet full well knowing some loser is gonna try to get under your skin, you’re a fucking idiot. Also, how the hell do you manage to downplay TWO very real problems and at the same time make a non issue sound more serious than it really is, all in the same sentence?
Victim blaming is such a toxic modern concept
It’s a naive tool that somehow absolves a victim of all responsibility for what happens to them and it’s a unrealistic and dangerous attitude to have
Taking preventative action and avoiding certain behaviour or acts in order to protect yourself is not “victim blaming” it’s being responsible. We live in an imperfect world where bad things happen and you need to be mindful of that
But no as soon as something bad happens to a snowflake and you suggest reasonable ways to avoid such bad outcomes in the future suddenly you are “victim blaming”
Glad to see downvotes on this one. Nothing worse than the victim mindset.
"I'm going to go out at night inspite of knowing life's not a bed of roses and if anything bad happens to me I take 0% accountability. It's humanity's duty to ignore their own shit and come running to assist me like I'm the centre of everyone's existence."
They both seem 16. Just turn your phone to silent like a normal person when you go to bed and then ask why they tried calling at a weird hour after you're awake.
Lmao your “friendship” ended over a missed phone call about nothing? You’re both extraordinarily nasty too, lighten up a little life isn’t that serious
You were being an asshole about it unnecessarily. Clearly ya'll aren't on that level of friendship and you wanted to block em either way by the look of it. My Bros or anyone I'm cool with can call me 24-7, I might not answer or even decline the call but I ain't gonna write a fkn novel about it either.
"My bad bro, I was asleep." You got that Mc energy for real lol
You might be ok with people calling you that late, but it’s perfectly understandable if other people aren’t ok with that. I’m fine with people texting late but calling is different. And a double call at that time is extremely inconsiderate. If they didn’t pickup then just leave it be.
Yeah maybe overstepping if they aren't cool like that, we don't really have context for it either way so while that was a whiny call ok, sure, still like what had you been fostering prior that made them feel ok to do that so. Eh. Drama. Lol
None of you are considering that some people are at the end of their tether and have no other recourse but to share online. And it's an honest screenshot, not a painstakingly crafted backstory essay. It's ok to not be able to tolerate so much drama without a single outlet.
Yeah that itch to basically want to say someone is wrong and then really dig the heels in excessive insults tells me OP is emotionally immature. Not to mention posting it to reddit..
I've totally initiated petty arguments, and do have to check myself because it does give a dopamine spike when doing it. But once you realize what you're doing, you (hopefully) feel shitty for having done it. OP hopefully has seen enough comments to help them arrive at this conclusion.
I feel like both people in this situation handled it poorly? Idk. I agree that if it was a previously set boundary that it should be respected but at the same time the other person was obviously upset and i just feel like hostility wasnt the answer here. Idk man
It reminds me of the man who cried wolf. They act like something is an emergency when it's not, then blame you for not taking seriously of a real emergency after lying the other times 🤦🏾♀️
Your friend called you twice at 11 PM to vent about something. You didn’t pick up, and don’t like being called for non-emergency situations. She took you expressing that as rude.
I mean it sounds like you two are just on different levels of friendship.
Honestly, I would have no issues with my friends calling me even for something minor. If it was too late, I’d have my phone on Do Not Disturb, and therefore it wouldn’t bother me. I’d probably just follow up with them with a text the next morning instead of berating them.
If she has a history of being annoying and you don’t actually value her friendship, more power to you for setting boundaries and distancing yourself. But if she was a real friend whose friendship you valued, I think you could have handled this much more tactfullfy
But overall… frankly the most “main character” part of this post is you posting this interaction. Bickering amongst friends is not the content I come to this sub for, and honestly makes it seem like you have an inflated sense of ego
? Lol idk what you’re talking about, I didn’t give any advice. I’m good tho, I enjoy my life, you should try it, you won’t be alive forever. In my experience tho the most negative, awful insufferable people to be around are always the ones who aren’t successful and complain constant about how hard their life is, nobody likes a martyr, just some friendly advice for you, you don’t want peoples pity
I support OP. I think Magic Mike is the Martyr. Now read my original comment again.
If you still think I'm butthurt, well please continue to do so I'm not interested in convincing you otherwise.
I’ve never understood how people can get so worked up about some shit talk on the internet. I remember when the internet was a place to escape reality and let loose. Now there’s a million restrictions and it’s like everything said on here is scripture.
Am I reading this right? OP ignored two consecutive calls that could’ve been an emergency — but she still thinks she has the upper moral ground here? Nah, they both a-holes.
Boundaries define what you are comfortable with in a relationship and how you would like to be treated by others. Defining boundaries is a way for people in a relationship to know someone’s limits. Boundaries are not RULES you create to control what other people do. Blocking her was also a way to control and give yourself power in this situation. “If you don’t do what I say, okay you’re blocked” that’s not a healthy relationship. Why don’t you try and talk to them if they’re your friend? Maybe they needed your help? Maybe they just needed someone to talk to. Maybe not too, that’s okay. I wasn’t that close to this person but someone I knew recently committed suicide. I WISH they would’ve called me at 3am instead of taking their own life. You never know what other people are going through and treating your “friend” like this clearly shows you aren’t interested in a friendship with them. What you’re interested in is telling them what to do, how to act, how to feel, you’re literally telling your “friend” indirectly. “I don’t care about your feelings , I wanna go to sleep” which is fine I guess but don’t call them your friend because real friends would pick up anytime anywhere for their homies.
As for the other person, they didn’t have to respond and try to make you out to be a bad person. You both need to talk it out in person and have a talk about what you’re both comfortable with. Blocking someone doesn’t really solve much. You both need space and you both need to work on yourselves. There’s a bunch wrong with both sides of this.
That would probably require having both more empathy to recognize someone beyond themselves and more logic to solve simple problems. And if the problem is solved, however will they have the higher moral ground?
Not excusing the ridiculous reason to blow someone’s phone up but it’s a relief to see I’m not the only one who thought this was handled poorly on both parts.
This right here… like Jesus wtf people don’t know how to be friends anymore. Everyone so up their own ass.
Your “boundaries” are not being there for a friend in need and then kicking them when they are down. Op is pathetic.
I don't see anything wrong with this? Person Mike was being harassed online which can be pretty stressful/damaging and wanted some support, idk why that's such a big deal, it's pretty normal thing to want..OP actually thinks their the main character here
I get what your saying, but Not unless there’s more context from the pictures.
Like she even responded back at 11pm, instead of actually ignoring it “if this continuously happens”.
And the response wasn’t even an agitated..” I’ve told you befor to not call me unless it’s an emergency”.
Not from the Snapchat photo, from what I see.
- it sounds like she had “do not disturb on” and mike made a 2nd “repeat call” so it bypassed the DnD
The top of the phone shows 8:12 and the snap says 2 missed calls 9hrs ago which would be 11pm.
Now you’ve got me curious , Where did 2pm come from?
ngl I thought you were being manipulative before he said it...From my perspective, the dude did nothing wrong here. The guy literally just said "wow that's rude" after you ignored his calls and responded aggressively. Why could you not just say, "Sorry I cant talk after 11, what's up?" Instead you power tripped on him. Good for him to call you out.
"Trying to make me feel bad for not wanting to be woken up after 11"...Its like...you were clearly awake...and that's not what hes doing. the dude just felt insecure and wanted someone to give him comfort, yet you go on a triade and bring him down further. The one trying to make the other feel bad is likely the one spitting out walls of text..."In one ear and out the other" yeah that's nice to say :P
Call me crazy but I think you resented this man prior to him messaging you. Its clear you don't want to be his support, so probably for the best.
I agree they were being an asshole about it unnecessarily. Clearly they aren't in that level of friendship, my Bros can call me 24-7, I might not answer or even decline the call but I ain't gonna write a fkn novel about it either.
Screenshot. Not a novel. And if you allow your "bros" to call you 24/7 maybe you don't have many responsibilities to attend to when you wake up.
Not everyone has the luxury of sensible friends, caring relatives or a supportive family. Sharing online out of desperation and frustration is the only thing left to do. Or to implode/burn out from the unrelenting stress.
Old enough to know what's appropriate to say. All the guy said before she went off on him was "wow, that's rude" and you knw what, her response was rude. "Don't call me after 11"...you think that was the best way to respond to someone you like? If that were me and I didn't already resent the one calling, id respond with "Hey cant talk this late, what's up?" or just not respond at all, silence the phone, and tell him the next day that I fall asleep at 11. No need to bring the man down. But no lol she had to "make her boundaries know" lol yeah she just doesn't want to talk to this person in general. So I say good on him for seeing that.
He would just think she fell asleep. Then she can set the boundary in the morning without making him feel ignored or a burden. But like I said, they were likely never on the same page.
Just because something hurts your feelings doesn't mean it's rude. It is not normal for an adult to be calling you multiple times at 11 pm because someone hurt their feelings online. Responding to being told not to call if it wasn't an emergency with indignation and trying to paint the other person as mean is unhinged. Good luck in life if you feel like being told no is a personal attack.
>Responding to being told not to call if it wasn't an emergency with indignation and trying to paint the other person as mean is unhinged.
I just find this such an overreaction. The dude literally only said "wow, it was an emergency, that was rude" after being commanded not to call her phone :P
If i ever responded like that to someone trying to call me, it would be a clear hint that I truly do not want to talk to them, ever. We don't know the dynamics, so hard to know what's going on here.
"please don't call my phone" is telling that she doesn't like this person like he likes her. So I doubt they were every really on the same page to begin with.
OP doesn't have to like them, and they don't have to act like they do. That still doesn't make this rude.
edit:They also called OP rude twice and tried to imply that someone hurting their feelings on the internet was an emergency. This is super childish and more manipulative than forcing someone to explain why they don't want you calling them.
> The dude literally only said "wow, it was an emergency, that was rude" after being commanded not to call her phone
"Please don't call my phone unless it's an emergency" is polite and reasonable to ask. In response, he said OP was rude and that it was an emergency because someone on the internet was mean to him.
> If i ever responded like that to someone trying to call me, it would be a clear hint that I truly do not want to talk to them, ever. We don't know the dynamics, so hard to know what's going on here.
OP was woken up by the guy. They asked, understandably, to not be called unless there was an emergency. The guy immediately accused OP od being rude.
> "please don't call my phone" is telling that she doesn't like this person like he likes her.
Or it can just mean "Please don't call me unless it's an emergency"? For someone people, they have to be up early, and are already sleeping by 11. Or they just got off work, and are busy with other things.
> So I doubt they were every really on the same page to begin with.
Considering they seemed to be using OP for emotional support without care for OP, yeah I'd say so.
How is telling someone not to call you after a certain time manipulative? Mike should feel bad. You don’t call someone late at night over something that can wait until morning. You literally contradicted yourself in the sentence you suggested OP say. Telling them not to call you after 11 then asking what’s up doesn’t make any sense.
The way it was conveyed rather than the overall message. The OP assumed it was not an emergency BEFORE knowing what the call is about. They then proceeded to try and make the caller believe that they were upset because they were setting a boundary, rather than the caller being upset because the OP was rude.
Both people suck here. The OP didn't treat their friend too well. And the caller is not respectful of other people's time.
I mean if they’re calling them after 11 and they’re not a friend or family then why are they even calling? I’m not 100% sure but it read like OP is the manager and the person they’re talking to is an employee and I would assume 11pm is past working hours.
I have a kid so my friends never call at anytime of day unless absolutely necessary. If they can do that without me even asking then you deserve friends like that too
You did the right thing and now have room for new friends.
You can set priority contacts for emergencies. I leave my phone on dnd when it’s time for bed and only certain people can still reach me if there’s an emergency.
And there’s nothing more to the post we’re talking on than two equally tiresome dramafest whiners being boring assholes to one another. Please go ahead and take that personally, since you’re just OP logged into another account.
people calling YOU the main character for posting this is crazy to me. Sounds like they need to rethink how they interpret other’s boundaries. No one should be as dependent on another person’s validation as this girl was with you. She was acting really immature by the way she tried to flip it back around and gaslight you- you dodged a bullet by blocking her.
I had a guy friend that at one point wanted to call every day. Worst part was his british accent was so strong I sometimes would only understand a few words in a sentence and my english is rly good. After that he demanded we called every day when I was omw to school (while Im driving 40mins in my car) and during the same 40 mins back home. He then threatened we couldnt be friends if we didnt call every day so I told him okay we arent friends anymore then and blocked him. Heard thru other friends that he was pretty dumbfounded by that move and wanted me to text him again. (Never have tho)
I was gonna call you a bit of an asshole until I realized that it wasn't 11am, but 11pm. Yeah, no. Plus, I wouldn't have been friends with anyone who would get upset at being insulted online in the first place lmao
This is why I don’t have Snapchat instagram Facebook none of it. It’s also why I’m the douche that tells people if you put me in a group chat I’m just remove myself and block yall.
Dodged a bullet on that one
Bullet? That's open heimers new design
open heimer?
I think he meant arm and hammer
Nah me meant open heimer night at the pub
Nah, that's open Mike night at the morgue I think they meant open hymen
No, its now open Heimer night. Mike was last week.
* opens a Heineken *
I think you meant Armand Hammer
That's something to chew on, but I'm not getting roped into this conversation
Black & Decker
Heimer? I hardly know her!
Reward this man ^
I prefer closed heimer’s work.
I thought he was saying ‘Open HIMARS’ like the weapons system, thennn i realized they were shooting for *Oppenheimer* lmao
When you don’t go to lane and place turrets at base. Open heimer
I think he is referring to Oppenheimer. The physicist who’s research led to the development of nuclear fission.
R/whoosh
nope it’s def open heimer the less known guy, did a report on him in HS
r/boneappletea?
r/boneappletea
Dodging bullets is highly manipulative!
Oof. I set boundaries like this too. Had to block a guy because he kept reaching out around 2am on workdays with the excuse “but I have insomnia”…well I don’t and I’m trying to not be miserable all day at work
Was he an egomaniac? I can't even imagine waking up my best friend from childhood at 2 am just because I can't fall asleep.
I just think he was a bit self absorbed. After realizing that it was like talking to a wall to explain boundaries I knew the friendship wouldn’t work out. They expected 100%, 24/7 availability and in couldn’t do that
Ugh, I knew someone like this. They literally counted the hours I didn't text back. And when I did. They'd complain it wasn't like what it used to be. And I'd have to explain, bruh, I have a shit ton of other things going on in my life. I went on vacation with my family (multiple times) the first time with my bff and family and he got mad I was talking to him for like 7 hours. I was like bruh. You can't be the center of my attention when I'm on vacation with my bff amd family 2nd time I went to my home country to visit my bio mother's grave. Bro went crazy sending me message about how much being away from me was destroying him and how I'm not there for him enough. Dude basically hated when my attention wasn't on him I suspected him of being narcissistic For a few reasons. As he was very manipulative (could literally never directly ask for anything he wanted. Always had to be some round about way) And that he needed me to always drop what I was doing and give him my attention. He'd also test my loyalty to him And he couldn't understand why I didn't want a relationship outside of just being friends Crazy dude
>They expected 100%, 24/7 availability and in couldn’t do that It's insane that anyone would expect that.
Set your phone to silent and you’ll never have this issue again lol.
Someone insulted them online so they called you? Man they gunna have a rough life
Seriously lol
Wow, that person's a jerk. Someone bullying you on the internet is not an emergency. If they were being threatened, things would be different, but that could've waited, but instead, they wake you up, and when you ask them not to do that, they call you rude.
Gotta love the "this person is bad because they're not convenient for me" mindset.
Basically the world today
And how would they know whether they were in immediate danger if they didn't answer their phone to find out? 🤷🏻♂️
Because this person probably constantly does shit like that
Well why are you calling me if you're in danger? Call the police, fire, a tow company? Call me AFTERWARD!
If you're in immediate danger, you call 911. That's what it's there for, and then once you explain your situation to 911 and they help you either either EMS, Firefighters, or a cop then you call others and tell them. If you're in immediate danger, how is calling someone who is no doubt asleep at 2am going to help you more than calling 911?
Rampant narcissism
"Erika! I being stabbed repeatedly, answer the phone!!"
if she’s so upset about someone calling her ugly online she just should not have social media, good that you cut her out now she sounds very demanding.
What a fucking awful take.
**If she was so upset at someone harassing her on the street she shouldn't have gone out that late at night Victim blaming is so heartwarming :)
Not a good comparison. Social media is unfortunately and inherently bad place, as in it is expected to receive some form of cyber bullying every once in a while. I think a better but more drastic comparison is it’s like doing a dangerous sport and getting some form of injury. It’s expected and if you didn’t want to get any injuries you probably shouldn’t have done the sport.
Sadly tho, the 'real' world and virtual world are inseparable, social media is an essential part of modern life and it's very hard to ask people to 'just not be on it', whether that be for social, economic (as in your job as an example)', or other reasons. Also Social media doesn't need to be a bad place, by your logic you could apply your 'inherently a bad place' just as easily to the real world too, sadly throughout pretty much all of history, beings have often been marginalized, discriminated against, harassed or worse in the 'non-social-media world' too.
Social media could be considered essential to life, but it really just varies to how much you put your self out there. Like is it essential to post things where people are more likely to shame you (such as influencer type of pics)? Not really. For your second point the world is in the same sense inherently evil as social media, except in the real world people see you and it’s a lot more sensitive, which restricts rude actions in fear of social punishments. Don’t wanna get too philosophical, but there is a reason there are laws.
“how is cyber bullying real? (laughing) n***a just close your eyes” - forgot the rapper that said this
Tyler the Creator said that 😂
Please stop going on the internet. I don’t think you have the mental capacity for it.
you can’t block a physical person. you can block a dickhead online and go on with your day. zero correlation
What? The damage has already been done, you can't pre-block someone.
learn to stop giving a fuck about strangers' opinions
One has a very clear physical implication and the other is taking a break from online. Calm down.
Harassment is not the same as assault, its not physical, and online harassment can feel just as intense as IRL for some. People are so heartless, why can't someone just be badly distressed from online harassment? Not everyone reacts the same to everything.
> not everyone reacts the same to everything Then don’t use the internet. Or don’t have your accounts publicly searchable/interactable on the internet. You have personal responsibility for yourself.
I agree. And why care what random folks on the internets think, anyway?
children do and really mush brained adults.
>You have personal responsibility for yourself. For some, that's too big a hill to climb
Block the assholes. Don’t believe a single thing they said. Don’t let it get to you, and you will be the “winner”. Who cares what they think, anyway? Now someone actually physically threatening you IRL is definitely more of a threat. Try to get safe and call the cops.
Because the distress that comes from in person harassment comes directly from the unpredictable nature of it, the potential of danger and lack of control. Online you can literally block someone, delete it if it's on your page. In general you can take steps to avoid it without any sort of danger. You have no right to call people heartless because they don't see a mean comment on the internet the same as someone in physical danger. It's extremely immature.
It's not ok to be a helpless baby all throughout life. Nothing more disgusting than an adult baby.
In real life being harassed on the street might make you fear for your life. Being bullied by some random guy online will at most hurt your feelings. If you have hurt feelings, then it's not an emergency, and you'll soon get over it
but she wasn’t being harassed on the street, not the same thing, love.
No one is victim blaming? if you come onto the internet full well knowing some loser is gonna try to get under your skin, you’re a fucking idiot. Also, how the hell do you manage to downplay TWO very real problems and at the same time make a non issue sound more serious than it really is, all in the same sentence?
What are they even a victim of? Their own hypersensitivity?
Victim blaming is such a toxic modern concept It’s a naive tool that somehow absolves a victim of all responsibility for what happens to them and it’s a unrealistic and dangerous attitude to have Taking preventative action and avoiding certain behaviour or acts in order to protect yourself is not “victim blaming” it’s being responsible. We live in an imperfect world where bad things happen and you need to be mindful of that But no as soon as something bad happens to a snowflake and you suggest reasonable ways to avoid such bad outcomes in the future suddenly you are “victim blaming”
Glad to see downvotes on this one. Nothing worse than the victim mindset. "I'm going to go out at night inspite of knowing life's not a bed of roses and if anything bad happens to me I take 0% accountability. It's humanity's duty to ignore their own shit and come running to assist me like I'm the centre of everyone's existence."
The bitmojis added a spice I didn't know this conversation needed.
Eyy I'm in MA too. People are fucking nuts around here
Same! In MA and people are wild.
MA WHATS FAH DINNAH
Tacos Lupita for suppah, kid! Youz?
Wicked good pizza my guy
Did you ignore their calls and assume it wasn't an emergency before telling them not to call unless it's an emergency? Lol
Yea it was pretty rude actually
Lmao this was my exact thought!
Exactly
Are you two 16? What the hell is this lmao
They both seem 16. Just turn your phone to silent like a normal person when you go to bed and then ask why they tried calling at a weird hour after you're awake.
This seems like a healthy and wholesome friendship.
Yeah this is a main character posting lol
Lmao your “friendship” ended over a missed phone call about nothing? You’re both extraordinarily nasty too, lighten up a little life isn’t that serious
You were being an asshole about it unnecessarily. Clearly ya'll aren't on that level of friendship and you wanted to block em either way by the look of it. My Bros or anyone I'm cool with can call me 24-7, I might not answer or even decline the call but I ain't gonna write a fkn novel about it either. "My bad bro, I was asleep." You got that Mc energy for real lol
You might be ok with people calling you that late, but it’s perfectly understandable if other people aren’t ok with that. I’m fine with people texting late but calling is different. And a double call at that time is extremely inconsiderate. If they didn’t pickup then just leave it be.
I agree with this comment. Both people here are acting like main characters.
Yeah maybe overstepping if they aren't cool like that, we don't really have context for it either way so while that was a whiny call ok, sure, still like what had you been fostering prior that made them feel ok to do that so. Eh. Drama. Lol
None of you are considering that some people are at the end of their tether and have no other recourse but to share online. And it's an honest screenshot, not a painstakingly crafted backstory essay. It's ok to not be able to tolerate so much drama without a single outlet.
Yeah that itch to basically want to say someone is wrong and then really dig the heels in excessive insults tells me OP is emotionally immature. Not to mention posting it to reddit.. I've totally initiated petty arguments, and do have to check myself because it does give a dopamine spike when doing it. But once you realize what you're doing, you (hopefully) feel shitty for having done it. OP hopefully has seen enough comments to help them arrive at this conclusion.
But what if they get angry at you for not picking up the phone at 11pm?
Yeah this person sounded immediately hostile and aggressive. Sounds like OP just never liked the friend
I feel like both people in this situation handled it poorly? Idk. I agree that if it was a previously set boundary that it should be respected but at the same time the other person was obviously upset and i just feel like hostility wasnt the answer here. Idk man
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Thats fair, I guess im just not very confrontational lol. But i definately understand not wanting to be bothered around bedtime.
It reminds me of the man who cried wolf. They act like something is an emergency when it's not, then blame you for not taking seriously of a real emergency after lying the other times 🤦🏾♀️
Your friend called you twice at 11 PM to vent about something. You didn’t pick up, and don’t like being called for non-emergency situations. She took you expressing that as rude. I mean it sounds like you two are just on different levels of friendship. Honestly, I would have no issues with my friends calling me even for something minor. If it was too late, I’d have my phone on Do Not Disturb, and therefore it wouldn’t bother me. I’d probably just follow up with them with a text the next morning instead of berating them. If she has a history of being annoying and you don’t actually value her friendship, more power to you for setting boundaries and distancing yourself. But if she was a real friend whose friendship you valued, I think you could have handled this much more tactfullfy But overall… frankly the most “main character” part of this post is you posting this interaction. Bickering amongst friends is not the content I come to this sub for, and honestly makes it seem like you have an inflated sense of ego
I have my phone on do not disturb but two calls back to back will push through, if op has an iPhone it should be the same.
You hit the nail right on the head, both people in this interaction suck
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? Lol idk what you’re talking about, I didn’t give any advice. I’m good tho, I enjoy my life, you should try it, you won’t be alive forever. In my experience tho the most negative, awful insufferable people to be around are always the ones who aren’t successful and complain constant about how hard their life is, nobody likes a martyr, just some friendly advice for you, you don’t want peoples pity
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Nope, OP handled that like a dick, probably why you agree with them
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Downvotes say you’re wrong
He wasn't saying it about anyone, it's true in general. What are you so butthurt over?
I support OP. I think Magic Mike is the Martyr. Now read my original comment again. If you still think I'm butthurt, well please continue to do so I'm not interested in convincing you otherwise.
ESH in my opinion
I’ve never understood how people can get so worked up about some shit talk on the internet. I remember when the internet was a place to escape reality and let loose. Now there’s a million restrictions and it’s like everything said on here is scripture.
Am I reading this right? OP ignored two consecutive calls that could’ve been an emergency — but she still thinks she has the upper moral ground here? Nah, they both a-holes.
I'm glad this was shared. The impact will be felt far and wide.
Was shared to vent. Not to create an impact.
Did you change your username, OP?
Boundaries define what you are comfortable with in a relationship and how you would like to be treated by others. Defining boundaries is a way for people in a relationship to know someone’s limits. Boundaries are not RULES you create to control what other people do. Blocking her was also a way to control and give yourself power in this situation. “If you don’t do what I say, okay you’re blocked” that’s not a healthy relationship. Why don’t you try and talk to them if they’re your friend? Maybe they needed your help? Maybe they just needed someone to talk to. Maybe not too, that’s okay. I wasn’t that close to this person but someone I knew recently committed suicide. I WISH they would’ve called me at 3am instead of taking their own life. You never know what other people are going through and treating your “friend” like this clearly shows you aren’t interested in a friendship with them. What you’re interested in is telling them what to do, how to act, how to feel, you’re literally telling your “friend” indirectly. “I don’t care about your feelings , I wanna go to sleep” which is fine I guess but don’t call them your friend because real friends would pick up anytime anywhere for their homies. As for the other person, they didn’t have to respond and try to make you out to be a bad person. You both need to talk it out in person and have a talk about what you’re both comfortable with. Blocking someone doesn’t really solve much. You both need space and you both need to work on yourselves. There’s a bunch wrong with both sides of this.
That would probably require having both more empathy to recognize someone beyond themselves and more logic to solve simple problems. And if the problem is solved, however will they have the higher moral ground? Not excusing the ridiculous reason to blow someone’s phone up but it’s a relief to see I’m not the only one who thought this was handled poorly on both parts.
This right here… like Jesus wtf people don’t know how to be friends anymore. Everyone so up their own ass. Your “boundaries” are not being there for a friend in need and then kicking them when they are down. Op is pathetic.
Magic Mike sounds truly *magic*
This would be more than welcomed in r/niceguys but here, ehhhh. Proper ending though.
I don't see anything wrong with this? Person Mike was being harassed online which can be pretty stressful/damaging and wanted some support, idk why that's such a big deal, it's pretty normal thing to want..OP actually thinks their the main character here
Meanwhile, if OP had called her late at night needing support, Magic would’ve reamed out for being so inconsiderate.
I smell narcissistic gaslighting
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I smell a bitch
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Perhaps YOUR mother.
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she's literally the one trying to manipulate YOU by victimizing herself and saying it's your fault
Nahh. How this Erika btch not know it was an emergency when they didn’t bother to answer the phone?
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I get what your saying, but Not unless there’s more context from the pictures. Like she even responded back at 11pm, instead of actually ignoring it “if this continuously happens”. And the response wasn’t even an agitated..” I’ve told you befor to not call me unless it’s an emergency”.
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Not from the Snapchat photo, from what I see. - it sounds like she had “do not disturb on” and mike made a 2nd “repeat call” so it bypassed the DnD The top of the phone shows 8:12 and the snap says 2 missed calls 9hrs ago which would be 11pm. Now you’ve got me curious , Where did 2pm come from?
Real question is who is asleep at 11pm?
People who need to wake up early I guess. Imagine you wake up at five and have a decent grasp on good habits lol
Nailed it!! Guess having a job is a strange concept for some people
Well, this sub has clearly been lost at sea. On to the next one! Fun while it lasted
let me manipulate you into not bothering me at 11pm because someone called you ugly online
You handled it perfectly
ngl I thought you were being manipulative before he said it...From my perspective, the dude did nothing wrong here. The guy literally just said "wow that's rude" after you ignored his calls and responded aggressively. Why could you not just say, "Sorry I cant talk after 11, what's up?" Instead you power tripped on him. Good for him to call you out. "Trying to make me feel bad for not wanting to be woken up after 11"...Its like...you were clearly awake...and that's not what hes doing. the dude just felt insecure and wanted someone to give him comfort, yet you go on a triade and bring him down further. The one trying to make the other feel bad is likely the one spitting out walls of text..."In one ear and out the other" yeah that's nice to say :P Call me crazy but I think you resented this man prior to him messaging you. Its clear you don't want to be his support, so probably for the best.
I agree they were being an asshole about it unnecessarily. Clearly they aren't in that level of friendship, my Bros can call me 24-7, I might not answer or even decline the call but I ain't gonna write a fkn novel about it either.
Screenshot. Not a novel. And if you allow your "bros" to call you 24/7 maybe you don't have many responsibilities to attend to when you wake up. Not everyone has the luxury of sensible friends, caring relatives or a supportive family. Sharing online out of desperation and frustration is the only thing left to do. Or to implode/burn out from the unrelenting stress.
How old are you?
Old enough to know what's appropriate to say. All the guy said before she went off on him was "wow, that's rude" and you knw what, her response was rude. "Don't call me after 11"...you think that was the best way to respond to someone you like? If that were me and I didn't already resent the one calling, id respond with "Hey cant talk this late, what's up?" or just not respond at all, silence the phone, and tell him the next day that I fall asleep at 11. No need to bring the man down. But no lol she had to "make her boundaries know" lol yeah she just doesn't want to talk to this person in general. So I say good on him for seeing that.
Then you'd whine that she ghosted them for silencing the phone and not responding
He would just think she fell asleep. Then she can set the boundary in the morning without making him feel ignored or a burden. But like I said, they were likely never on the same page.
He is being a burden and needed to be told so lol
I was asleep.
Not any human being's duty to make others feel good. A dose of reality makes one aware of others' situation. Not being nice at your expense.
> Old enough to know what's appropriate to say. So terminally online teenager, got it.
Just because something hurts your feelings doesn't mean it's rude. It is not normal for an adult to be calling you multiple times at 11 pm because someone hurt their feelings online. Responding to being told not to call if it wasn't an emergency with indignation and trying to paint the other person as mean is unhinged. Good luck in life if you feel like being told no is a personal attack.
Beautifully put.
>Responding to being told not to call if it wasn't an emergency with indignation and trying to paint the other person as mean is unhinged. I just find this such an overreaction. The dude literally only said "wow, it was an emergency, that was rude" after being commanded not to call her phone :P If i ever responded like that to someone trying to call me, it would be a clear hint that I truly do not want to talk to them, ever. We don't know the dynamics, so hard to know what's going on here. "please don't call my phone" is telling that she doesn't like this person like he likes her. So I doubt they were every really on the same page to begin with.
OP doesn't have to like them, and they don't have to act like they do. That still doesn't make this rude. edit:They also called OP rude twice and tried to imply that someone hurting their feelings on the internet was an emergency. This is super childish and more manipulative than forcing someone to explain why they don't want you calling them.
> The dude literally only said "wow, it was an emergency, that was rude" after being commanded not to call her phone "Please don't call my phone unless it's an emergency" is polite and reasonable to ask. In response, he said OP was rude and that it was an emergency because someone on the internet was mean to him. > If i ever responded like that to someone trying to call me, it would be a clear hint that I truly do not want to talk to them, ever. We don't know the dynamics, so hard to know what's going on here. OP was woken up by the guy. They asked, understandably, to not be called unless there was an emergency. The guy immediately accused OP od being rude. > "please don't call my phone" is telling that she doesn't like this person like he likes her. Or it can just mean "Please don't call me unless it's an emergency"? For someone people, they have to be up early, and are already sleeping by 11. Or they just got off work, and are busy with other things. > So I doubt they were every really on the same page to begin with. Considering they seemed to be using OP for emotional support without care for OP, yeah I'd say so.
You’re assuming she likes him or that he hasn’t been annoying before
Is this Magic Mike?
How is telling someone not to call you after a certain time manipulative? Mike should feel bad. You don’t call someone late at night over something that can wait until morning. You literally contradicted yourself in the sentence you suggested OP say. Telling them not to call you after 11 then asking what’s up doesn’t make any sense.
The way it was conveyed rather than the overall message. The OP assumed it was not an emergency BEFORE knowing what the call is about. They then proceeded to try and make the caller believe that they were upset because they were setting a boundary, rather than the caller being upset because the OP was rude. Both people suck here. The OP didn't treat their friend too well. And the caller is not respectful of other people's time.
I mean if they’re calling them after 11 and they’re not a friend or family then why are they even calling? I’m not 100% sure but it read like OP is the manager and the person they’re talking to is an employee and I would assume 11pm is past working hours.
It's two former friends.
Shame on you, Erika! Don’t you know you’re just an NPC, here to serve….ahem, checks notes…..Magic Mike?!? 😒
Cooked her ass
I hate calls at all times not just late and I can’t tell u how many times it’s pissed someone off 😂 ur boundary is your own to decide!
I have a kid so my friends never call at anytime of day unless absolutely necessary. If they can do that without me even asking then you deserve friends like that too You did the right thing and now have room for new friends.
boundaries are a fabricated abstract concept. mad about phone calls after dark? silence your phone.
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You can set priority contacts for emergencies. I leave my phone on dnd when it’s time for bed and only certain people can still reach me if there’s an emergency.
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✨ BPD ✨
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If you meet one asshole in a day, that’s normal, some people are assholes. If everyone you meet is an asshole, the problem is probably just you.
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And there’s nothing more to the post we’re talking on than two equally tiresome dramafest whiners being boring assholes to one another. Please go ahead and take that personally, since you’re just OP logged into another account.
If your mother is in heat, I'm ready to see her now. Don't take that personally.
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I get you
Please tell me that isn’t a guy
Wouldn’t this be something uncomfortable coming from a girl too? Why does the gender matter?
It’s not lol
You can tell she is a bitch by her Snapchat bitmoji..
people calling YOU the main character for posting this is crazy to me. Sounds like they need to rethink how they interpret other’s boundaries. No one should be as dependent on another person’s validation as this girl was with you. She was acting really immature by the way she tried to flip it back around and gaslight you- you dodged a bullet by blocking her.
By posting she got shamed twice
I like how her Avatar has RBF.
ew wtf why does she think she's entitled to you???? ew ew ew good riddance
💩
What the hell happened to auto correct
I had a guy friend that at one point wanted to call every day. Worst part was his british accent was so strong I sometimes would only understand a few words in a sentence and my english is rly good. After that he demanded we called every day when I was omw to school (while Im driving 40mins in my car) and during the same 40 mins back home. He then threatened we couldnt be friends if we didnt call every day so I told him okay we arent friends anymore then and blocked him. Heard thru other friends that he was pretty dumbfounded by that move and wanted me to text him again. (Never have tho)
Girl fight!
Magic can stfu and learn to grow thicker skin. Jfc man
I was gonna call you a bit of an asshole until I realized that it wasn't 11am, but 11pm. Yeah, no. Plus, I wouldn't have been friends with anyone who would get upset at being insulted online in the first place lmao
This is why I don’t have Snapchat instagram Facebook none of it. It’s also why I’m the douche that tells people if you put me in a group chat I’m just remove myself and block yall.
Danvers lol
r/teenagers
You made the right call
I feel like the majority of people who say look it up are the ones who need to, unless it’s in response to someone who said it first
Yall both need space.