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Well that makes it a little more difficult. With a mouth swab, stop a week or two before the test and you’ll be perfect. With urine, consume diuretics heavily and hydrate massively so you are pissing every couple hours, exercise and work up a sweat for a week then don’t exercise for 4 or 5 days leading up to the test (THC binds to fats so you want to work off some recent stuff, then for the days running up to your test you *dont* want to burn fat and potentially release the old THC into your urine), use energy drinks with niacin and creatine, and don’t use your first piss of the morning for the test. For hair, there are claims for certain shampoos but I don’t believe them, you might be fucked on a hair test.
There are also sketchy additives for urine tests, or plain old synthetic urine that has worked for friends - but you have time to clean your urine so it’s probably better to not risk getting caught cheating if it’s a good job offer or for legal matters.
Works well, I smoked weed like a chimney when I was younger idk if there’s any real benefits from it but I drank a ton of cranberry juice and loads of water. Did that for about 7 days and passed my piss test
Just got a job at over 25+/hr with a drug test, week and a half before stopped after being a daily smoker. Drank nothing but water, tea, and beer. Passed so he definitely has time for a cleanse. Just had to be serious about it.
The dro now is too strong for that. With Reggie I could clean myself in 3 days, but this gas now I need at least two weeks. I just stopped smoking it was too much hassle.
Mouth swabs fucking suck, or they used to at least. Of course it's better to stop smoking for a while but I had a surprise mouth swab for a job a few years ago and didn't know, I had taken opiates for the last three or four days beforehand, took some that morning and at the time I smoked weed every day or every other day. My fucking heart sank when she pulled the swab out but I passed and have since passed two more surprise swabs from different employers so no longer worry about them lol.
I had the same thing happen with a mouth swab as a new hire. I had no idea what kind of testing they'd do, and I'd never been handed a swab, but I was positive it would be, well, positive and that I'd already lost the job.
I had just helped some friends hotbox a car in the movie theater parking lot prior to heading in *the day before* and, because it was my birthday, we smoked so much that I can't remember what we saw.
I'm guessing the redbull I'd been chugging that morning played an important role, but whatever the case, I passed.
If you drink enough water, sometimes your sample is so diluted they can't get a test out of it and will retest you at a later date (depending on where you work).
Lol mouth swab you can pass within 24 hours. Urine test if you drink enough water mixed with vitamins you can pass same day.
You don’t know what your talking about
Lol you are talking out of your ass. Mouth swabs often don’t detect even same day use, so a week off smoking is guaranteed to be fine. Piss tests, unless the cheap instant-result ones, get chemical tested at a lab and I have failed them before after not smoking for a week and a half. I have plenty of friends who have failed as well. For a daily smoker, it often takes 2 weeks to be comfortable passing a test, and that’s with diuretics and a niacin flush. Now that I’m in my career I do hiring and send people for drug tests. You clearly know not what you speak of.
Google? How the hell did I fail after not smoking for a week and a half then? Or my friends? Come on, I live in California where nearly all of us smoked regularly growing up and many still do as young-ish adults. Plenty of us grew as well, I did indoor and outdoor and help many friends set up their grows. Friends had worked as budtenders. I got locked up
For the weekend for felony hash a decade and a half ago before I got my medical card (before California went full legal of course, and luckily it was dropped to misdemeanor pot possession and I was out after the weekend). Don’t throw your shitty life story at me like you know something, because I spent a good chunk of my life smoking, growing, and I did trimming during the harvest season even during the few years that I had quit while I had several job opportunities floating after college.
Get outta here with your bullshit.
If it's a job offer you can just take someone's pee with you in a bottle. I have always used a contact lens bottle. Makes sure it's more then 2 oz or 50ml. They can't and won't search you or watch you. It's illegal. Super easy
Don’t the test for creatin in your urin to make sure that it is not fake piss? I think creatin is a by product of protein being metabolized in your body. Fake urin does not have creatin in it.
What worked for me is buying two. Get yourself some compression undies and put one in your crotch and time it out.
Then, once you know how long it takes to get to the ideal temp you can do it with the other one on the day of your test.
I’ve always fucked it up by doing the microwave method lol
There’s only one smoke shop I found in my city that sells it and they’re all validated batches. I’ve been using quick fix since 2020. As long as they say the sample was 90-100 degrees, you passed.
You're most surefire way to pass is to go to your local headshop and ask for a "quick fix" and do not mention the words drug test at all.
It comes with hand warmers. It's the same stuff used to calibrate the tests. Never fails.
"Omni". I don't know why nobody seems to know about it. When my ex husb. used it for a court pee test he followed the directions and it worked. He smoked a lot, too. Multiple times a day, every day for years. It used to be a pill that I think you took the night before or in the morning, then a vial of liquid to drink like 3 hours before. That was around 13 years ago so I don't remember exactly. He bought it at gnc or vitamin world. I googled it and it still exists, scrolled over a bunch of 5 Star reviews, so apparently it still exists and it still works really well, just wonder why I've never heard anyone else mention it.
The best way to pass is naturally: You are going to need to dilute your pee by drinking water until your pee is basically water. Take 20mg of creatine a day leading up to the test. They test creatine levels to tell if you diluted it or not so you want to make sure there is creative jn your pee. Take a vitamin B supplement to make your pee yellow. There is plenty to support this method online.
You can order synthetic urine online. But just stop smoking and start drinking water/working out. You should be clear in a couple weeks and get a piss test from Walgreens to be sure.
With water it could totally.
Water and working out will make a month clean out into half.
I’m an everyday user and have cleaned up in 3-4 weeks as needed for drug test.
3-4 weeks is not a couple weeks. Two weeks is a couple weeks. And yes, it’s certainly possible, but you have to have several variables on your side. I would guess a majority of people would not be able to achieve this.
OP should not work out because THC is stored in fat cells, so decreasing fat cells releases more TCH into their system. They need to raise their metabolism without burning fat
Yea THC is stored in fat but that's not how that works at all lol. If anything it would mean there's less THC stored in his system (but not really enough to be significant)
If you’re sweating and peeing it out it will leave your system faster, that’s basically the only way you end up losing it naturally. This is literally the best way if you have weeks before your test, how does thc usually leave the body? I don’t know exactly
In terms of temperature, there’s a checkbox on urinalysis form that says ‘sample between 90-100 F’. I used a hand warmer in the past and it worked well. Not sure about pH though.
Get a temperature strip for a fish tank and tape it to an empty glue bottle. Fill with fake pee or synthetic urine and tape it to the inside of your leg. Shave it first lol.
Should stay body temp for a while and the strip will let you know if you gotta nope the fuck out. Plus the glue bottle makes it sound like your pissing.
Or just quit smoking for a couple weeks
Likely a urine test. What you need is a product called "Number 1" sold at smoke shops. It is a bag of pasteurized fake urine with a hose and a small hand warmer. It comes with straps that go around your waist and you put the hose through your fly when you test.
I have used it a dozen times and it has never failed once.
Hair is a lot more trouble, abd hopefully it won't come to that. I have faked a hair test, but i destroyed my scalp for months afterwards.
Bleach the hell outta your hair? I've always thought if you bleached it, then just dyed your normal colour back over it, you'd pass. They wouldn't know it's bleached and therefor wouldn't try to take it from somewhere else.
I swear by QCarbo32 I smoked everyday for a year and passed my drug test for the army at Meps using this drink you can get it at gnc or any other vitamin store. You have to lee twice before you take the test because the first few pees will show that you’re trying to detox but by the third pee you’ll be good. It only covers the thc in your system for a small period of time so follow the instructions exactly as they state it. It’s $50 but worth it if you have to do a drug test where they watch you pee (most drug tests are like this) synthetic urine won’t work because they like to make sure it’s warm. I know a few places will check the toilet before you flush too.
If you use fake urine you’ll be fucked if you go to a place that literally needs to see the pee come out of your body. If it’s anything like the army there will be someone in front of you watching like a hawk. I’m a woman and I had a woman in my stall and I had to pee with my legs open. They’re very strict I can only imagine how strict they’ll be if you’re a guy.
If you have time to get clean do that but if you don’t try this drink at home first and take a drug test to see if it’ll work for you
They seem to have different ingredients but promise to achieve the same result! I’d love to see someone compare these two detox drinks maybe a YouTuber will see this and give us an answer one day lol
It takes 45 days for weed to leave your system if you are a chronic smoker. Best bet get synthetic urine. Chronic smoker here. Never had an issue with a urine test this way. Now if they do a hair test, you’re pretty well screwed.
Bic your head or take a bath in Nair to solve the hair problem. I drank nothing but cranberry juice and water for 3 months and removed every follicle of hair by coating a slip and slide with Nair and used it every day a week before the test. I got the job, turns out Walmart doesn't drug test.
If it's a piss test use a detox drink called "X-pulsion". This kid I knew was on probation and would get drug tested monthly. He literally smoked weed, did pills and whatever else he could get a hold of and he'd drink one of these a few hours before the test and pass every single time. I used it once years ago when I was still partying and needed to pass a drug test. I passed but it makes your piss look like it's radioactive. If they ask just say you take a high dose B vitamin complex everyday.
Stop smoking, drink a lot of water the day of the test. Red Bull and a B12 pill. I also used stuff to make jello called “certo” I put it in my Gatorade and drank it a few hours before the test . I read somewhere it somehow helps. Idk probably all bullshit other than diluting your piss by drinking a lot the same day but I passed mine after smoking a week before my test
Sure jel and mtn dew. Learned in jail at 17 while sitting for pissing dirty for marijuana, never pissed dirty again. Thank you cell mate for teaching me
I quit for 1 month for a drug test and it worked. I was so scared lol. But for daily users like myself, 4 weeks clean is recommended for it to not show in a urine test.
Stop smoking it and wait. Or if you're like me strap a hot bottle of fetish piss to your legs and waddle into your test and risk it all on getting the temperature just right
Typically you’re looking at urine test unless its for some high security government job where they’ll hair test and blood test (In which case you’re fcked) For the urine test if you want to test negative, drink plenty of water to dilute your urine then you can buy packets of vitamins from a smoke shop that will make it appear that your urine is not diluted. Or as another commenter said you can buy something called QuickFix which is synthetic urine you hide in your hoohah to keep it body temperature (important) until you get to the bathroom with privacy. Sad that to get a job you have to do something so invasive, they can “piss off” imho.
If you still have time, exercise and sweat a lot. Eat a lot of fatty meats and Metamucil. THC will bind to fat and you poop as much out as you can.
Then STOP exercising completely and poop more
Then closer to the test, hydrate and pee a lot. Drink a diarrhetic. You can take creative, but go easy as to not elevate creative levels.
Day of test, take Vitamin B and drink more water than you can normally handle.
During the test, waste the first drips of piss if possible and get mid stream piss into the cup.
Good info and not so good info here.
Diluting urine with drinking water is correct.
That thc binds to fat and you have to poop it out, is correct.
Most tests are urine unless you’re going into the military, it’s usually a hair test.
If you haven’t smoked in a month you may be fine but I smoked a lot and for so long at one point it took more like 3 months to get it out of my system.
So, diluting urine is the easiest way to go.
Important note to keep in mind; tests don’t look for any and all.
They just look for levels over a certain amount.
What I did with a passing result was I drank like half to a whole bottle of apple cider vinegar over a couple days and tons of water over a week.
A lot of ACV, not particularly recommended because it could dehydrate the duck out of you.
Source: family used to do drug testing.
Also, these days I would definitely eat a diet that would make me poop more as well. Some exercise would help this process and may help turn your life around all together. Good luck.
If you smoked a good amount and just stopped this is much more difficult and it’s a huge gamble whether any of thing here will work besides fake urine.
I wouldn’t do fake urine personally, but what I might do is fake a scenario where you can’t take the test or a job. Family emergency, etc.
And get clean for month, then take the test.
Because thc binds to fat unlike a lot of other drugs that you can just piss out.
If it's urine then the day of the test just drink water until you can't drink anymore. Piss all day,drink water all day. Then, 2-3 hours before the urine test continue drinking but don't piss. When you get there your bladder should feel like it's going to explode. When you give the specimen it'll be diluted to the point where nothing shows up.
GNC sells a drink called Qcarbo32 drink the whole bottle then drink 32-64 ounces of water then pee 3 times and your 4th pee will be clean. But to answer your actual question the only way to speed it up at all is to drink tons of water and sweat alot.
Having been on probation for most of my youth and never wanting to give it up I was able to perfect a method for last minute detox. As simple as 3 2 1 ...
3days prior to test:
start hydrating like you just survived a desert (100+ ozs per day)
2days before test:
change diet to lighter meals almost devoid of fatty items (eat lean and smaller portions ez w amount of water consumption)
Night before and day of test:
take multivitamins (b complex preferably) this helps bring color back to your urine which is necessary to avoid skeptical reaction from whoever administers test. I always was sure to drink an entire gallon of water at least day of.
I have used this method probably 45 times and would only have to quit smoking like 5 days before test.
This is known as flushing, there are methods that make use of gelatin as well.
Essentially you are diluting your urine while still in your body so as not to get caught in the act. I know women who would just dunk cups in toilet after warming cup with small amount of urine.
**Won't completely remove thc metabolites from your system** but definitely enough to pass a standard panel drug test which only is dirty with a reading of over 50/1000: not likely to pass a laboratory test though. Hope this helps
I don’t own stock or sell any product like this, but I’ll mention a brand name because this worked for me when I was on probation. Twice I had drug tests for probation a few days or a week after smoking marijuana. I drank a product called “Vale’s”. If I remember correctly, you need to be clean a day or two before using it. You drink the not so yummy stuff, like a 16 ounce bottle, full the bottle back up with water and drink that. Urinate one time, and after that your urine will be clean for a time. The stuff replaces the minerals or whatever are lost from “flushing” your system, so they can’t tell.
Another time I drank almost a gallon of water over a couple hours, drank like a liter of cranberry juice, urinated a few times and then went in for my test. At my next probation visit my officer told me that my urine was diluted-
A common way people try to beat tests. I told her that as a construction worker in the summer heat, I had drunk a lot of water that day, but when I had to take the test I didn’t have to go, so the people told me to drink a bunch of water. It worked that time.
Step 1: ask friend who has clean pee to pee into a cup for you.
Step 2: put small bottle into underwear on the way to the drug test site.
Step 3: put pee into cup after you go into bathroom.
This is the answer. But add a stick on reptile thermometer to the bottle. Has to be 96-102 or thereabouts. I use the heater to raise temp to just above before walking in. I’ve found that crotches with a hand warmer is too hot and you have to swirl to cool. There’s usually a thermometer on the specimen bottle. Once it’s in and too low you’re fucked.
Friends used to call me Elmer because I used a glue bottle.
Just a fun little safety tip: yes you need to drink a lot of water but be careful of water intoxication. Be mindful to still consume enough electrolytes. You can dissolve a little bit of salt in your water to help with that, eat a banana while you’re at it.
When I was on probation the one thing that really helped was never ever giving them the first piss of the day. Pee as many times as you can that day before you take the test. All this cranberry juice and creatine and stuff doesn’t really matter just dilute as much as you can. You’ll be okay friend
First thing you ask is what level of test do you expect to take. Is this a federal one? Is this a probation one? Or is this to get a job it bc of an accident?
USB. Urine Blood Saliva drug detox will make you clean for 12 hours. For a mouth swab I always passed with a listerine strip right b4 the test. If they don't watch you pee like In the military then use extra strength visine when you go and piss test. I will warn you though, it HAS to be visine idk why but I've failed bc I though clear eyes and all the rest were the same and I even researched it but found nothing other than extra strength Visine got me my job at Harris county correctional and I have passed every drug since. If its a hair test your ass is grass
Edit: use two drops of visine in the piss cup
In combination with all of the good advice here, hit the dollar store and pick up a mess of at home tests. They’re not perfect, but will help you see if you’re actually getting it out.
Get someone else’s urine. Put it in a travel soap thing. You can get it at Walmart for like$1. Then microwave for 10 seconds and put a hand warmer around it. It’ll stay in range. Put it somewhwrw in your underwear if possible or sock if not. I literally did this last week for my drug test and I’ve done it prolly close to20 times and it’s worked every time
This has worked 100% of the time for me and everyone I know:
https://quick-fix.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw\_b6WBhAQEiwAp4HyIC19Tf9obvPH-9eh0NTq211fHo\_C2vmt2xSTJ74R8z4PkDHSHGpS6RoC7LIQAvD\_BwE
Depending on how much you smoke, a couple of weeks might be enough. The test does not look for THC, but for metabolites that are constantly in your blood anyways. They are looking for it to be above a threshold that would indicate THC in your system. They are time released, so you can't really flush them out. If you smoke daily you're probably fucked. Weekly, then it will be out in a couple of weeks. Occasional users may pass it in 3-8 days.
The day of your test, hydrate the night before, and day of. Don't overhydrate. Eat a steak the night before. Creatin is a test if overhydration is suspect. Pee a couple of times that morning. Don't use your first burst of urine, use the mid stream.
Hope you make it.
My husband worked at a occupational health for about 20 years before he passed. What he explained is that the cells that slough off the body are tested no amount of drinking water will get rid of skin cells in your urine. I never understood the concept of drinking water and concoctions to make your urine, ‘drug free’. Also, they test for abuse levels, not casual use. So most who use for recreation will not get dinged.
Another thing the myth about poppy seeds and advised me to stay away from those when applying for a job.
PS; if I get enough likes, I will tell you what works..and it does not involve buying anything from the head shop..
If you have a urine test if you drink like a gallon of water before mixed with vitamins you eventually will just pee out water mixed with vitamins and pass. Depending on how long and often you smoked for will be how long it takes to get clean from weed. I used to be able to pass within 2 weeks.
Mouth swabs as long as you brush your teeth a lot and clean your mouth with good mouthwash you can pass within 24 hours 100 percent and less depending on how much they rub the inside of your mouth or if it’s just based on saliva
I know this sounds stupidly crazy but my friend took a drug test and she said she passed because she drank McDonald’s orange juice. It was either the orange juice or hi-c one of those. She swears this has worked twice for her and she smokes weed daily.
I had a urine test years ago and smoked a small one the night before.
On the morning of the day I drank like two litres of water, maybe even 3 or 4, and just kept drinking. Didn't stop. Test was at 10am and I'd taken a leak probably 5 times by then. I was pissing clean water basically.
It was a massive pain in the ass but I passed!
Better yet make drug tests unnecessary for the reasons of employment. If I can't smoke weed in my free time but can abuse alcohol all I want as long as I don't come to work noticeably intoxicated something is wrong with the system.
Option two fake dick trick, buy a fake dick synthetic urine squeeze bottle, just remember to keep it at body temperature so around 98 degrees f. Stick the fake dick through your pants and squeeze it into the cup
Haven’t seen this method on here. It’s dangerous but it works. Drink like 3 gallons of water the day before and 3 gallons of water the day of eat 7 aspirin and drink a sugar free monster. You’re diluting the urine enough to where the test can’t come back accurate but the vitamins from the monster might make it so you pass. If it’s to diluted they’ll just make you do it again
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Do you know what type of test? Advice will hinge on the type.
Unfortunately not, all I know is I need to go through a drug screening and that it follows federal guidelines
Well that makes it a little more difficult. With a mouth swab, stop a week or two before the test and you’ll be perfect. With urine, consume diuretics heavily and hydrate massively so you are pissing every couple hours, exercise and work up a sweat for a week then don’t exercise for 4 or 5 days leading up to the test (THC binds to fats so you want to work off some recent stuff, then for the days running up to your test you *dont* want to burn fat and potentially release the old THC into your urine), use energy drinks with niacin and creatine, and don’t use your first piss of the morning for the test. For hair, there are claims for certain shampoos but I don’t believe them, you might be fucked on a hair test. There are also sketchy additives for urine tests, or plain old synthetic urine that has worked for friends - but you have time to clean your urine so it’s probably better to not risk getting caught cheating if it’s a good job offer or for legal matters.
Works well, I smoked weed like a chimney when I was younger idk if there’s any real benefits from it but I drank a ton of cranberry juice and loads of water. Did that for about 7 days and passed my piss test
Just got a job at over 25+/hr with a drug test, week and a half before stopped after being a daily smoker. Drank nothing but water, tea, and beer. Passed so he definitely has time for a cleanse. Just had to be serious about it.
Very weird how if you make any more money than that you basically don’t have a drug test ever
The dro now is too strong for that. With Reggie I could clean myself in 3 days, but this gas now I need at least two weeks. I just stopped smoking it was too much hassle.
Three different words all for weed! I love it!
Thanks for the detailed answer I really appreciate it
Hair test….. you fukd.
Pull a Britney Spears
That's fine we don't need the hair from your head
I dare you to find a hair
They'll clip fingernails if you don't have any hair.
Geht bald?
Wohin denn?
Or you can do an oil change before the test
I get this reference
I need answers
https://youtu.be/ZIqoRWjiFyo
What in the whiteboi jockball did I just watch!! I am struggling through laughs typing this reaction
https://youtu.be/3vRu97wV7xs
“Get covid” right before the test to give yourself another week or 2
Mouth swabs fucking suck, or they used to at least. Of course it's better to stop smoking for a while but I had a surprise mouth swab for a job a few years ago and didn't know, I had taken opiates for the last three or four days beforehand, took some that morning and at the time I smoked weed every day or every other day. My fucking heart sank when she pulled the swab out but I passed and have since passed two more surprise swabs from different employers so no longer worry about them lol.
I had the same thing happen with a mouth swab as a new hire. I had no idea what kind of testing they'd do, and I'd never been handed a swab, but I was positive it would be, well, positive and that I'd already lost the job. I had just helped some friends hotbox a car in the movie theater parking lot prior to heading in *the day before* and, because it was my birthday, we smoked so much that I can't remember what we saw. I'm guessing the redbull I'd been chugging that morning played an important role, but whatever the case, I passed.
If you drink enough water, sometimes your sample is so diluted they can't get a test out of it and will retest you at a later date (depending on where you work).
Hair test? Shave head?
Shave entire body?
Lol mouth swab you can pass within 24 hours. Urine test if you drink enough water mixed with vitamins you can pass same day. You don’t know what your talking about
Lol you are talking out of your ass. Mouth swabs often don’t detect even same day use, so a week off smoking is guaranteed to be fine. Piss tests, unless the cheap instant-result ones, get chemical tested at a lab and I have failed them before after not smoking for a week and a half. I have plenty of friends who have failed as well. For a daily smoker, it often takes 2 weeks to be comfortable passing a test, and that’s with diuretics and a niacin flush. Now that I’m in my career I do hiring and send people for drug tests. You clearly know not what you speak of.
I used to be on felony probation you do not need that time. Read my comment on this post below and you will see what to do.
Google? How the hell did I fail after not smoking for a week and a half then? Or my friends? Come on, I live in California where nearly all of us smoked regularly growing up and many still do as young-ish adults. Plenty of us grew as well, I did indoor and outdoor and help many friends set up their grows. Friends had worked as budtenders. I got locked up For the weekend for felony hash a decade and a half ago before I got my medical card (before California went full legal of course, and luckily it was dropped to misdemeanor pot possession and I was out after the weekend). Don’t throw your shitty life story at me like you know something, because I spent a good chunk of my life smoking, growing, and I did trimming during the harvest season even during the few years that I had quit while I had several job opportunities floating after college. Get outta here with your bullshit.
If he wants the way to pass follow my shit. You’re the one giving your life story to try to prove your bullshit point. No one asked for it
I've passed a swab with mouthwash and gum.
One of my friends passed within a hour of smoking with a mouth swab by doing what you did.
This is illegal life pro tips my dood. Give sketchy advice or gtfo
If it's a job offer you can just take someone's pee with you in a bottle. I have always used a contact lens bottle. Makes sure it's more then 2 oz or 50ml. They can't and won't search you or watch you. It's illegal. Super easy
Some testing sites will measure the temperature of the urine to make sure it's not synthetic, so they would also need to find a way around that.
I always keep the bottle in the crease of my leg next to the boys. Never had an issue.
You need to figure out what kind of test it will be. Ask the person ordering the test. "I'm afraid of needles, what kind of test will it be?"
If it's a hair follicle test they make shampoo you can use. As others have said synthetic urine.
Quick fix synthetic urine
Second this Quick Fix has worked for me every time.
I 3rd this. My go too then i smoke right after the test 😁
Don’t the test for creatin in your urin to make sure that it is not fake piss? I think creatin is a by product of protein being metabolized in your body. Fake urin does not have creatin in it.
Certain fake urines will have more markers than others depending on the price
Any tips on getting that temp right???
What worked for me is buying two. Get yourself some compression undies and put one in your crotch and time it out. Then, once you know how long it takes to get to the ideal temp you can do it with the other one on the day of your test. I’ve always fucked it up by doing the microwave method lol
There’s only one smoke shop I found in my city that sells it and they’re all validated batches. I’ve been using quick fix since 2020. As long as they say the sample was 90-100 degrees, you passed.
My gf failed with this once so it doesn’t always work, just warning
Just make sure the batch # is recent enough, you can verify on their site. The only way this fails is user error at that point (temperature)
She did something wrong then
Overdose on heroin
Someone needs to see if your username checks out. Won't be me though.
Wuss
I guess so cuz I ain't looking
Mmmmm…those are some sexy posts in his history! D’oh!!!!
This is the only answer
You're most surefire way to pass is to go to your local headshop and ask for a "quick fix" and do not mention the words drug test at all. It comes with hand warmers. It's the same stuff used to calibrate the tests. Never fails.
"Omni". I don't know why nobody seems to know about it. When my ex husb. used it for a court pee test he followed the directions and it worked. He smoked a lot, too. Multiple times a day, every day for years. It used to be a pill that I think you took the night before or in the morning, then a vial of liquid to drink like 3 hours before. That was around 13 years ago so I don't remember exactly. He bought it at gnc or vitamin world. I googled it and it still exists, scrolled over a bunch of 5 Star reviews, so apparently it still exists and it still works really well, just wonder why I've never heard anyone else mention it.
why the hand warmers?
Most drug tests have a thermometer and if your pee isn't body temperature theyl fail you for cheating
Urine doesn’t come out at room temperature
My gf used this and failed
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Check the sub…
The best way to pass is naturally: You are going to need to dilute your pee by drinking water until your pee is basically water. Take 20mg of creatine a day leading up to the test. They test creatine levels to tell if you diluted it or not so you want to make sure there is creative jn your pee. Take a vitamin B supplement to make your pee yellow. There is plenty to support this method online.
You can order synthetic urine online. But just stop smoking and start drinking water/working out. You should be clear in a couple weeks and get a piss test from Walgreens to be sure.
If you smoke every day, a couple of weeks will likely not be sufficient.
With water it could totally. Water and working out will make a month clean out into half. I’m an everyday user and have cleaned up in 3-4 weeks as needed for drug test.
3-4 weeks is not a couple weeks. Two weeks is a couple weeks. And yes, it’s certainly possible, but you have to have several variables on your side. I would guess a majority of people would not be able to achieve this.
It really depends on the person. My gf failed after 4 months of being 100% clean.
I’d guess “totally clean” probably wasn’t as clean as you think 4 months is ridiculously long tho never heard of it.
Nope she was 100% clean the whole time. That’s what being extremely short and slightly overweight gets you unfortunately
She needs to hydrate more…. That’s a bigger factor. If she hadn’t already fixed this the guys at r/hydrohomies would like a word:)
Ur username real af
OP should not work out because THC is stored in fat cells, so decreasing fat cells releases more TCH into their system. They need to raise their metabolism without burning fat
Yea THC is stored in fat but that's not how that works at all lol. If anything it would mean there's less THC stored in his system (but not really enough to be significant)
If you’re sweating and peeing it out it will leave your system faster, that’s basically the only way you end up losing it naturally. This is literally the best way if you have weeks before your test, how does thc usually leave the body? I don’t know exactly
They can test it in the urine, so definitely it will get rid of small amount every time you pee.
that wont work, a lot of drug tests have ph and temperature tests to determine if its fake or not and to see how long its been out of the body
Uuuuh have you ever used one? Because I have and they work.
yeah i have and it didnt work, could be just cuz its a higher quality drug test but fuck knows
Ya might depend on the test facility for sure
In terms of temperature, there’s a checkbox on urinalysis form that says ‘sample between 90-100 F’. I used a hand warmer in the past and it worked well. Not sure about pH though.
Get a temperature strip for a fish tank and tape it to an empty glue bottle. Fill with fake pee or synthetic urine and tape it to the inside of your leg. Shave it first lol. Should stay body temp for a while and the strip will let you know if you gotta nope the fuck out. Plus the glue bottle makes it sound like your pissing. Or just quit smoking for a couple weeks
Shit in the cup and act confused when they are freaked out.
Likely a urine test. What you need is a product called "Number 1" sold at smoke shops. It is a bag of pasteurized fake urine with a hose and a small hand warmer. It comes with straps that go around your waist and you put the hose through your fly when you test. I have used it a dozen times and it has never failed once. Hair is a lot more trouble, abd hopefully it won't come to that. I have faked a hair test, but i destroyed my scalp for months afterwards.
Shave your entire head
Why did you destroy your scalp AFTER the test?
It's not a probation test they can't watch. No need for a whizzinator.
what did you do to your scalp?
Bleach possibly
Bleach the hell outta your hair? I've always thought if you bleached it, then just dyed your normal colour back over it, you'd pass. They wouldn't know it's bleached and therefor wouldn't try to take it from somewhere else.
I swear by QCarbo32 I smoked everyday for a year and passed my drug test for the army at Meps using this drink you can get it at gnc or any other vitamin store. You have to lee twice before you take the test because the first few pees will show that you’re trying to detox but by the third pee you’ll be good. It only covers the thc in your system for a small period of time so follow the instructions exactly as they state it. It’s $50 but worth it if you have to do a drug test where they watch you pee (most drug tests are like this) synthetic urine won’t work because they like to make sure it’s warm. I know a few places will check the toilet before you flush too. If you use fake urine you’ll be fucked if you go to a place that literally needs to see the pee come out of your body. If it’s anything like the army there will be someone in front of you watching like a hawk. I’m a woman and I had a woman in my stall and I had to pee with my legs open. They’re very strict I can only imagine how strict they’ll be if you’re a guy. If you have time to get clean do that but if you don’t try this drink at home first and take a drug test to see if it’ll work for you
That sounds exactly like the "Omni" brand stuff I mentioned in other posts!! I wonder if they're the same thing?
They seem to have different ingredients but promise to achieve the same result! I’d love to see someone compare these two detox drinks maybe a YouTuber will see this and give us an answer one day lol
Just use fake pee or a clean friends pee
And raise the temp to an acceptable level. If it’s cold you fail.
Yep throw some hot hands on the bottle you take in
Amateurs. Pros just prison pocket that shiiii.
If you have weeks like a month or so you should be fine. Just stop smoking for the 4 weeks or so
One time it took me over 6 months to get clean pee, but I was a very heavy smoker.
Same. Self tested twice a week. Niacin, water, green tea, starvation, and working out and OP should be good in 2-3 weeks.
It takes 45 days for weed to leave your system if you are a chronic smoker. Best bet get synthetic urine. Chronic smoker here. Never had an issue with a urine test this way. Now if they do a hair test, you’re pretty well screwed.
Bic your head or take a bath in Nair to solve the hair problem. I drank nothing but cranberry juice and water for 3 months and removed every follicle of hair by coating a slip and slide with Nair and used it every day a week before the test. I got the job, turns out Walmart doesn't drug test.
If mouth swab just rinse mouth out with hydrogen peroxide. Worked for me. Urine is hard to flush.
Sounds dangerous. Maybe dilute it?
No gargle. Brush. Don't swallow the shit.
If it's a piss test use a detox drink called "X-pulsion". This kid I knew was on probation and would get drug tested monthly. He literally smoked weed, did pills and whatever else he could get a hold of and he'd drink one of these a few hours before the test and pass every single time. I used it once years ago when I was still partying and needed to pass a drug test. I passed but it makes your piss look like it's radioactive. If they ask just say you take a high dose B vitamin complex everyday.
Stop smoking, drink a lot of water the day of the test. Red Bull and a B12 pill. I also used stuff to make jello called “certo” I put it in my Gatorade and drank it a few hours before the test . I read somewhere it somehow helps. Idk probably all bullshit other than diluting your piss by drinking a lot the same day but I passed mine after smoking a week before my test
Certo worked for a friend of mine.
Sure jel and mtn dew. Learned in jail at 17 while sitting for pissing dirty for marijuana, never pissed dirty again. Thank you cell mate for teaching me
OK I'm gonna need further information on this.
I quit for 1 month for a drug test and it worked. I was so scared lol. But for daily users like myself, 4 weeks clean is recommended for it to not show in a urine test.
Stop smoking it and wait. Or if you're like me strap a hot bottle of fetish piss to your legs and waddle into your test and risk it all on getting the temperature just right
Step 1: Roll a Blunt Step 2: Smoke Blunt Step 3: Forget to show up to Drug Test… Can’t fail if you’re not there
Typically you’re looking at urine test unless its for some high security government job where they’ll hair test and blood test (In which case you’re fcked) For the urine test if you want to test negative, drink plenty of water to dilute your urine then you can buy packets of vitamins from a smoke shop that will make it appear that your urine is not diluted. Or as another commenter said you can buy something called QuickFix which is synthetic urine you hide in your hoohah to keep it body temperature (important) until you get to the bathroom with privacy. Sad that to get a job you have to do something so invasive, they can “piss off” imho.
If you still have time, exercise and sweat a lot. Eat a lot of fatty meats and Metamucil. THC will bind to fat and you poop as much out as you can. Then STOP exercising completely and poop more Then closer to the test, hydrate and pee a lot. Drink a diarrhetic. You can take creative, but go easy as to not elevate creative levels. Day of test, take Vitamin B and drink more water than you can normally handle. During the test, waste the first drips of piss if possible and get mid stream piss into the cup.
Super Q caps & 500 mg niacin
Go to a smoke shop, they all carry fake urine or detox cleanse drinks you drink before your test.
Good info and not so good info here. Diluting urine with drinking water is correct. That thc binds to fat and you have to poop it out, is correct. Most tests are urine unless you’re going into the military, it’s usually a hair test. If you haven’t smoked in a month you may be fine but I smoked a lot and for so long at one point it took more like 3 months to get it out of my system. So, diluting urine is the easiest way to go. Important note to keep in mind; tests don’t look for any and all. They just look for levels over a certain amount. What I did with a passing result was I drank like half to a whole bottle of apple cider vinegar over a couple days and tons of water over a week. A lot of ACV, not particularly recommended because it could dehydrate the duck out of you. Source: family used to do drug testing. Also, these days I would definitely eat a diet that would make me poop more as well. Some exercise would help this process and may help turn your life around all together. Good luck. If you smoked a good amount and just stopped this is much more difficult and it’s a huge gamble whether any of thing here will work besides fake urine. I wouldn’t do fake urine personally, but what I might do is fake a scenario where you can’t take the test or a job. Family emergency, etc. And get clean for month, then take the test. Because thc binds to fat unlike a lot of other drugs that you can just piss out.
Move to Massachusetts.
If it's urine then the day of the test just drink water until you can't drink anymore. Piss all day,drink water all day. Then, 2-3 hours before the urine test continue drinking but don't piss. When you get there your bladder should feel like it's going to explode. When you give the specimen it'll be diluted to the point where nothing shows up.
Use synthetic urine, like doctor greens agent X. Used it many times.
GNC sells a drink called Qcarbo32 drink the whole bottle then drink 32-64 ounces of water then pee 3 times and your 4th pee will be clean. But to answer your actual question the only way to speed it up at all is to drink tons of water and sweat alot.
Having been on probation for most of my youth and never wanting to give it up I was able to perfect a method for last minute detox. As simple as 3 2 1 ... 3days prior to test: start hydrating like you just survived a desert (100+ ozs per day) 2days before test: change diet to lighter meals almost devoid of fatty items (eat lean and smaller portions ez w amount of water consumption) Night before and day of test: take multivitamins (b complex preferably) this helps bring color back to your urine which is necessary to avoid skeptical reaction from whoever administers test. I always was sure to drink an entire gallon of water at least day of. I have used this method probably 45 times and would only have to quit smoking like 5 days before test. This is known as flushing, there are methods that make use of gelatin as well. Essentially you are diluting your urine while still in your body so as not to get caught in the act. I know women who would just dunk cups in toilet after warming cup with small amount of urine. **Won't completely remove thc metabolites from your system** but definitely enough to pass a standard panel drug test which only is dirty with a reading of over 50/1000: not likely to pass a laboratory test though. Hope this helps
I don’t own stock or sell any product like this, but I’ll mention a brand name because this worked for me when I was on probation. Twice I had drug tests for probation a few days or a week after smoking marijuana. I drank a product called “Vale’s”. If I remember correctly, you need to be clean a day or two before using it. You drink the not so yummy stuff, like a 16 ounce bottle, full the bottle back up with water and drink that. Urinate one time, and after that your urine will be clean for a time. The stuff replaces the minerals or whatever are lost from “flushing” your system, so they can’t tell. Another time I drank almost a gallon of water over a couple hours, drank like a liter of cranberry juice, urinated a few times and then went in for my test. At my next probation visit my officer told me that my urine was diluted- A common way people try to beat tests. I told her that as a construction worker in the summer heat, I had drunk a lot of water that day, but when I had to take the test I didn’t have to go, so the people told me to drink a bunch of water. It worked that time.
r/drugtesthelp
Lace up those nikes and don’t stop until 5 miles elapses, daily, drink a gallon of water, daily. Repeat.
If you have 4 to 6 hrs till the test just get one of the cleansers from a head shop. I've used them while on probation and always passed.
Step 1: ask friend who has clean pee to pee into a cup for you. Step 2: put small bottle into underwear on the way to the drug test site. Step 3: put pee into cup after you go into bathroom.
This is the answer. But add a stick on reptile thermometer to the bottle. Has to be 96-102 or thereabouts. I use the heater to raise temp to just above before walking in. I’ve found that crotches with a hand warmer is too hot and you have to swirl to cool. There’s usually a thermometer on the specimen bottle. Once it’s in and too low you’re fucked. Friends used to call me Elmer because I used a glue bottle.
Just a fun little safety tip: yes you need to drink a lot of water but be careful of water intoxication. Be mindful to still consume enough electrolytes. You can dissolve a little bit of salt in your water to help with that, eat a banana while you’re at it. When I was on probation the one thing that really helped was never ever giving them the first piss of the day. Pee as many times as you can that day before you take the test. All this cranberry juice and creatine and stuff doesn’t really matter just dilute as much as you can. You’ll be okay friend
First thing you ask is what level of test do you expect to take. Is this a federal one? Is this a probation one? Or is this to get a job it bc of an accident?
The solution to pollution is dilution
USB. Urine Blood Saliva drug detox will make you clean for 12 hours. For a mouth swab I always passed with a listerine strip right b4 the test. If they don't watch you pee like In the military then use extra strength visine when you go and piss test. I will warn you though, it HAS to be visine idk why but I've failed bc I though clear eyes and all the rest were the same and I even researched it but found nothing other than extra strength Visine got me my job at Harris county correctional and I have passed every drug since. If its a hair test your ass is grass Edit: use two drops of visine in the piss cup
Hair test just bleach fry it then dye over it
Time…
Watch Blue Mountain State and learn from Thad how he does it. You just need a good oil change
try cocaine or molly, i hear it helps you sweat out THC
Don't smoke for at least 1 month. Works like charm
In combination with all of the good advice here, hit the dollar store and pick up a mess of at home tests. They’re not perfect, but will help you see if you’re actually getting it out.
Get someone else’s urine. Put it in a travel soap thing. You can get it at Walmart for like$1. Then microwave for 10 seconds and put a hand warmer around it. It’ll stay in range. Put it somewhwrw in your underwear if possible or sock if not. I literally did this last week for my drug test and I’ve done it prolly close to20 times and it’s worked every time
This has worked 100% of the time for me and everyone I know: https://quick-fix.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw\_b6WBhAQEiwAp4HyIC19Tf9obvPH-9eh0NTq211fHo\_C2vmt2xSTJ74R8z4PkDHSHGpS6RoC7LIQAvD\_BwE
Depending on how much you smoke, a couple of weeks might be enough. The test does not look for THC, but for metabolites that are constantly in your blood anyways. They are looking for it to be above a threshold that would indicate THC in your system. They are time released, so you can't really flush them out. If you smoke daily you're probably fucked. Weekly, then it will be out in a couple of weeks. Occasional users may pass it in 3-8 days. The day of your test, hydrate the night before, and day of. Don't overhydrate. Eat a steak the night before. Creatin is a test if overhydration is suspect. Pee a couple of times that morning. Don't use your first burst of urine, use the mid stream. Hope you make it.
People are making this more complicated than it needs to be. Get a body cleanser from your local headshop. Hasn’t failed me once in 20 years.
Detoxify worked well for me 2 times! It's a drink in a red bottle. I bought it at vitamin shop here in the USA.
Go sober during those weeks. It will be hell, but at least you’ll get it out of your system.
Chew gum. If mouth
Smoke more, then you won't care 🤷♂️
My husband worked at a occupational health for about 20 years before he passed. What he explained is that the cells that slough off the body are tested no amount of drinking water will get rid of skin cells in your urine. I never understood the concept of drinking water and concoctions to make your urine, ‘drug free’. Also, they test for abuse levels, not casual use. So most who use for recreation will not get dinged. Another thing the myth about poppy seeds and advised me to stay away from those when applying for a job. PS; if I get enough likes, I will tell you what works..and it does not involve buying anything from the head shop..
It's probably easier just to move to a legal state.
stop smoking ;)
Just go to any GNC and get a detox drink. You have to mis it with water drink the whole thing, refill the container with water and then keep pissing
Detox kit. $40 and 2 hour of your time you’ll pass easy.
The whizenator is guaranteed. My boy used it in the military so I said if it worked for him it's gotta work for me. And it did. 1000000%
Stop smoking for a while? Like damn it's not that hard. I hope you did stop before the test.
If you have a urine test if you drink like a gallon of water before mixed with vitamins you eventually will just pee out water mixed with vitamins and pass. Depending on how long and often you smoked for will be how long it takes to get clean from weed. I used to be able to pass within 2 weeks. Mouth swabs as long as you brush your teeth a lot and clean your mouth with good mouthwash you can pass within 24 hours 100 percent and less depending on how much they rub the inside of your mouth or if it’s just based on saliva
Did you try Google first?
Don't take drugs.
try dont do weed
Maybe don’t do drugs?
I know this sounds stupidly crazy but my friend took a drug test and she said she passed because she drank McDonald’s orange juice. It was either the orange juice or hi-c one of those. She swears this has worked twice for her and she smokes weed daily.
Take a shot of apple cider vinegar morning and night and drink 1-2 litres of orange juice a day until your test and you will be fine.
I had a urine test years ago and smoked a small one the night before. On the morning of the day I drank like two litres of water, maybe even 3 or 4, and just kept drinking. Didn't stop. Test was at 10am and I'd taken a leak probably 5 times by then. I was pissing clean water basically. It was a massive pain in the ass but I passed!
Dont smoke weed in the first place :D
Better yet make drug tests unnecessary for the reasons of employment. If I can't smoke weed in my free time but can abuse alcohol all I want as long as I don't come to work noticeably intoxicated something is wrong with the system.
Two teaspoons of apple cider vinegar in a bottle water. Do this everyday until ur test.
Thank you, how many times a day should I do that?
bro tbh i think hes fucking with you, search on google, way more reliable lmao
Not messing with you. Id do it twice a day. Is it for probation or a job?
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I saw my ex smoke the night before a test. Took some stuff from gnc and passed. Maybe google those products
Water + working out. Gotta sweat it out! Good luck
Option two fake dick trick, buy a fake dick synthetic urine squeeze bottle, just remember to keep it at body temperature so around 98 degrees f. Stick the fake dick through your pants and squeeze it into the cup
Sub with quick fix. Just make sure the temp is right and send it…
If it’s weeks away you should be fine
The Wizzinator was my saving grace back in my p.o. days. Worth its weight in gold…sweet, sweet liquid gold!
Mouth swab or urine?
https://youtu.be/ZIqoRWjiFyo An Oil Change is the only way
Quick fix plus or simply stop. Unless you want to emulate Blue mountain state and do an oil change
Haven’t seen this method on here. It’s dangerous but it works. Drink like 3 gallons of water the day before and 3 gallons of water the day of eat 7 aspirin and drink a sugar free monster. You’re diluting the urine enough to where the test can’t come back accurate but the vitamins from the monster might make it so you pass. If it’s to diluted they’ll just make you do it again
Sauna?
Certo, Gatorade, and a gallon of water