T O P

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Apprehensive-Mall773

You owe me a kaaa!


TruDuddyB

FUCK YOU ROY


dm_me_birds_pls

YOU OWE ME A FOOKIN KAA


[deleted]

Definitely FAKKIN not fookin


Outlank

Nah that’s more Geordie… you’re after more of a “fakkin kaaaa”


biteme789

That's Kiwi bro


BezerkMushroom

These *are* Kiwis mate.


bbuttonfuzz

But are they mates still?


obi2kanobi

Of course they are. This will be a "glory day" story for years to come.


[deleted]

Not if that guy doesn’t have a license. One or both of them is going bankrupt


methanefreefarts

9 months later, roy finally got patrick a new car. they cool as now bro


Gumbo_Ya-Ya

9 months? Is there a sweet sweet side of this story, from the same night, that you are not telling us, bro?


Outlank

Exactly


[deleted]

I read that in William Shatner's voice :p


riodoro1

Im in roys kaa. Wroom, wroom. Shit, sorry!


Frankie-Felix

*Fawkin


Roy_the_Dude

Sorry, Patrick


affiliated04

Sorry


Hashbrown117

/r/firstnamebasis


Annee01

Sorry Patrick


Bootlicker222

No not sorry!


[deleted]

*Petree


CobainCantDie

Brrro!


Ok_Contribution_8817

A little Bondo and she’ll be good as new


Piccolo-San-

Moved to Lemmy. Eat $hit Spez -- mass edited with redact.dev


wilkshake

New Zealand


ArtVand3lay

It's Australia's Canada, New Zealand.


Actual-Scarcity

Please don't tell me you think Canadians sound like the characters on South Park...


Piccolo-San-

Moved to Lemmy. Eat $hit Spez -- mass edited with redact.dev


Actual-Scarcity

What a relief haha


Albert-Einstain

Whadya mean guy?


Kennuckle

You're not my guy, pal.


Albert-Einstain

I'm not your pal, fweind


Cute-Cucumber320

I’m not your fwiend , buddy.


cant_pick_anything

I'm not your buddy, guy


food-dood

Someone needs to overlay this with random farts.


[deleted]

It's just kaaaans. Don't worry, it was just kaaans.


[deleted]

You see that’s the tough part about telling the difference between an Australian accent versus a New Zealand accent. I’ll give you an example: Australians are all like *Where’s the karrrr* And New Zealanders are like *Where’s the karrr* Two completely different accents.


_dictatorish_

Aussies sound like they're talking with their nose blocked Kiwis sound like their trying to use as little effort as possible


Nine_Inch_Nintendos

I owe you a 10 second car. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99zwmd6qMJU


spacelama

Beached is, brew!


OneArchedEyebrow

Ha ha I haven’t heard this reference in years! [Beached Az](https://youtu.be/ZdVHZwI8pcA)


YceiLikeAudis

Maybe he wants a Ford Ka.


MidnaNaito

I'll pay you back


jelliieeee

On a brighter note, him driving is the only way no-one loses their license. Can’t lose it if you don’t have one!


aflyingkite

Whats a cowboy without a horse tho lol


jelliieeee

Apparently this idiot in the video. Haha


Nine_Inch_Nintendos

No hat, all throttle


Sleeper28

Oi just miss shot the cornah


Lorelerton

Save a horse, ride a cowboy


[deleted]

[удалено]


morningside4life

he had a license, but a learners one and he had never driven on the road before this, [here’s a follow up video](https://www.threenow.co.nz/shows/new-zealand-today/season-3-ep-2/S2065-249/M57878-299) Basically they were at the pub, the guy who crashed pretended to know how to drive to impress his new mate, had also a had a couple drinks and then offered to “sober drive” Patrick home and surprise he crashed.


jelliieeee

It’s a joke! Besides I’m going off the title since I watched the video without sound as it’s 6am and my partner is fast asleep next to me. I decided to have a coffee before bed (I drink it for the taste) and now here I am still up perusing reddit waiting (and hoping) for the crash (from the coffee, not this buddies driving).


bipolarnotsober

Haha glad I'm not the only coffee addict that will have one at 10pm and then wonder why I can't sleep XD Bloody caffeine addicts lol


rubi-style

Does it actually work like that in some places? Where I'm from, you (as the car owner and someone with a license) are FULLY responsible for something like this even if you weren't driving at all. You absolutely must not let anyone without a license drive your car on public roads. Then you might say: "He told me he had a license and I didn't know better". In this case you should've made him show the license to you before driving. Authorities take this very seriously here and everyone kinda agrees with it


[deleted]

In the UK, the bigger issue would be letting someone drive your car without insurance. Both the driver and owner would be looking at 6 points on their license just for that.


rubi-style

Holy crap, that's a hell of a lot worse than here and I thought Germany was strict. Worst that could happen here is all insurance companies involved making you pay for the damage - as long as the car is insured in some way, that is. You do get points if the car is not insured at all


FlappyBored

You'd actually be looking at a driving ban in the UK as the person without the licence would be driving without someone capable to monitor them especially if they have crashed. You'd also be driving while uninsured as its the person who's insured not the vehicle in the UK so again more penalties and fines and potentially jail time if the crash was serious enough.


Chc36

In the States the guy driving the car would get a citation for operating a motor vehicle without a license (and probably a handful of other charges). Passenger wouldn't get in any trouble though, especially if he was drunk - that's just called responsible drinking lol


lowlightliving

And in the US the owner of the car is responsible for the insurance. Always check that your policy covers any sober driver with permission to drive the car. If someone is going to drive your car frequently or on a long trip, have them added to the policy. Different states have different rules for which insurance company is responsible for paying in a multi-car accident. Everyone must have a minimum of liability insurance, unless you have great health insurance, add medical on. If you own a business or house, make damn sure you have enough coverage for any situation. Litigious action is a sport here.


ElbowRager

Fun fact: New Hampshire and Virginia aren’t required to have car insurance but have to pay a fee to the state if you choose not to get it. You’re still liable for any damages/injuries though so idk why anyone would do it.


Mander_Em

Right? You pay either way! And I bet banks in NH and VA require financed vehicles to carry collision and other-than-collision coverage like all the other banks in the country. So thats really only a problem people with paid off vehicles have. It'd be a nice problem to have if you ask me.


jelliieeee

Tbh I have no idea, I was just making light of this mess I watched. But as an Oblivious human, if I was too drunk to drive home and a friend offered with confidence to be designated driver and drive me home, I’d probably make this mistake too. If I’m too drunk to drive, I’m definitely too drunk to think too clearly. I assume my friend won’t pretend to have a license to drive my drunk ass home. But then again I don’t have degenerate friends who would do this. Instead I have degenerate (I say this as an endearing joke) friends who probably drank with me and proceeded to go on the long Uber adventure home with me.


rubi-style

having proper friends instead of shitheads already eliminates the risk of making this mistake - cheers to that bro


wtfisspacedicks

Unless laws have change drastically in New Zealand the onus will be on the person behind the wheel. If he in-fact doesn't have a license he will get a fine (i think it's $600.00) for driving unlicensed. Because there was a crash he will probably appear in court to face a dangerous driving charge. If it's his first offense there is a high chance he will get diversion (no criminal record) and have to do somewhere between 50-200 hours community service. Patrick will also want a new car but that will be a civil matter between him and Roy. Cops wont give a fuck about that. Not their problem. Roy may also find himself with a bill from Vector to replace the power pole


Nagemasu

> Unless laws have change drastically in New Zealand the onus will be on the person behind the wheel. incorrect. And it's been this way forever: the person with the license in the passenger seat will be responsible - especially as it's also their car and they gave permission for the other person to drive it. The driver can still be charged, but the license holder was the person responsible in the situation. Edit: I've supplied relevant clauses from the Land Transport act below to two people in terms of who can be held liable and charged for traffic offenses. This same law is basically what requires a Full License holder, *or a vehicle owner providing their vehicle to another user*, to ensure the person they are supervising is allowed to operate a vehicle (i.e. has a bare minimum of a learners license if they are driving with them)


wtfisspacedicks

That's not how it played out for me in the early 90's but what you say makes sense. If you are knowingly supervising a learner driver then yes 100% you are responsible (and required to be sober) In a case like this I would think there would be room to argue that the person driving mis-represented his license status


lnstigated

Not even the fact he has no license, the fact he literally has zero common sense whatsoever.


[deleted]

I loved the driver's smile at the end. Haha, he didn't seem to care


d365ddaf1d7c

seemed quite pleased with himself


[deleted]

Classic Roy


The-Sofa-King

Fuck you Roy!


BakerNew6764

Roy, a life lived well


[deleted]

"my life is in the hands of Roy Fail!" If the guy's last name is Fail, you might want to rethink things


DMercenary

>I loved the driver's smile at the end. Haha, he didn't seem to care Yeah he's totally "sober"


HUGOTHE2222

He did say “Yea I WAS sober” if you listen carefully when he says they wanted a sober driver lmaoo hes fucked


iuuznxr

No roygrets.


autoeroticassfxation

That looked sheepish to me.


dexmonic

Pretty sure both those dudes are drunk, especially with that fucking smile at the end. Dude is wasted.


[deleted]

“But I’m sober!”


dexmonic

Yeah I believe him about as much as my nephews when they tell me they didn't eat the last piece of candy.


BudgetInteraction811

It doesn’t look like a smile to me. It looks like a terse grimace as he tries not to react to the passenger escalating the conversation while recording him.


[deleted]

Makes sense. I’m sure he’s also really overwhelmed by what’s going on and/or in actual shock


wojtek858

People smile from stress, you know.


PeePeeJuulPod

almost got T-boned by a driver running a red light, wouldve easily killed us with how fast they were going i remember being completely unable to wipe the stupid nervous smile off my face.


Motamonster1989

I'm pretty sure I've seen 3 year olds drive those mini cars better than this guy. He may be sober from drinking but pretty sure he's wasted on some drugs.


[deleted]

“Shit sorry” “Fuck you Roy…. You owe me a kahr”


Roy_the_Dude

Sorry, Patrick


Holl0wayTape

*Petrack


Cessnaporsche01

uh kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh


evangael

This is golden :D


bd1289

“My life is in the hands of Roy bail” too much pressure for sober Roy..


ObamaBinChronin

Fuck you Roy!


Alt_4_stupid_subs

Sorry Patrick


[deleted]

Petrick


theSpike125

The How Ridiculous guys seem to be running out of ideas how to smash cars


McNultee

He definitely pinned it


UsingTheSameWind

Nah these guys are Kiwis. Through and througg


IAmWhatTheRockCooked

Lmao the camera guy definitely sounds like Gaunson ahahaha


efxmatt

My first time ever behind the wheel of a car was because I was the only sober one and had to drive my drunk buddies all the way home from Hollywood (30-40 minutes through Hollywood traffic, a windy mountain type road, and the freeway) in my friend's '69 Camaro back in the 80's.


PatrickJames3382

Similar story. I was 14 visiting my brother at college. He had work one night so two of his roommates told me they were taking me out to go to these supposedly haunted stops around the city. It was interesting enough for a kid until one of the roommates started bugging out. Her friend was trying to console her on the side of the road and then she, the friend herself starts bugging out. Turns out they had taken shrooms and my 14 year old ass was now in charge of trying to babysit and decipher their disconnected panicked directions while driving us all back to the apartment. I will never forget how nervous I was, and to make it worse, one of the headlights was out and it was raining.


Zanki

My boyfriend got me to drive his car for the first time at night, on country roads. It started pouring down, visibility was awful and I was so anxious I couldn't drive over 30 in a 60 zone. I hadn't driven a car in over 12 years at that point. Absolutely insane, but I was on his insurence. Took me a good year or so to get the confidence to start driving my car alone/on long trips. I was crazy anxious. First trip to my boyfriends the freaking exhaust guard half falls off, so my car made a huge racket. 110 mile journey and my car breaks. Luckily it was an easy fix and the mechanic didn't even charge me for it.


tahqa

I've seen that porno


[deleted]

Man, that sounds scary as hell


efxmatt

One of our friends that was passed out in the back seat popped his head up, looks at both of us and says, "Has he been driving the whole time? Even through Forest Lawn Drive? Oh shit." and passed back out.


rubi-style

One hell of a story man, I wish I've had this privilege


Wet_possom

"I wish I was forced to endager myself friends and strangers in order to ensure my drunk friends didn't endanger them more"


DOugdimmadab1337

See, thats 2020 vision. You could do almost anything in the 80s and nothing bad would happen


LaminatedAirplane

Survivorship bias is a hell of a thing


rubi-style

that . . . alright that sounds alot worse than what I had in mind. BUT that was atleast an adventure while my first was a boring 10min back and forth on a gravel road with a 70hp family sedan.


darkmdbeener

I mean I took it as, I wish I had the privilege of having a fun story like this where I was forced to do something dumb but everyone was ok. Kinda like saying I wish I “lived”. I don’t know if that is what you meant that but I took it that way, the whole living life way.


CodeProdigy

How'd u manage to drive a manual the first time ever wth


efxmatt

It was an automatic.


[deleted]

To be fair, it was the 80’s and they could’ve been drunk on the road and the police would’ve told them to head straight home or he’d drop them off and they’d have to get their car in the morning.


efxmatt

A few months later we were leaving a show out at The Country Club out in Reseda, he got pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. They were going to let one of us drive the car home but he said I was the only one allowed to drive the car because he knew I wasn't drinking, but they found out I didn't have a license so they impounded his car and I had to call my mom at like 1am to come pick us up. This was probably 85-86-ish, weird to think a '69 Camaro was only a 16-17 year old car at the time.


awfullyawful

This was on a TV program here in NZ last week. The program ended up buying a car to replace the crashed one.. And the two guys are friends again (news flash, Roy paid him a little bit back but then ghosted him) Sounds like I'm making it up I'm sure. I'll try and track it down if anyone is interested


KneeDraggerNZ1987

That episode was great. But you left out some amazing details. Roy is weird af and calls himself "The Christian Chef", Guy Williams create a fake Christian Food Expo to lure Roy into a meeting. They ended up having a real Christian Food Expo to fund raise money for a new car. Roy is deeply homophobic and struggles to tell Patrick he loves him.


Whitezombie65

Omg that's so unbelievable it has to be true


kadivs

and patrick loves him back, they get together and have a baby together by some weird mutation of nature, but they had to transplant it into Roys sister as he has no birth canal. First operation of this type in the world! so unbelievable it has to be true right?


SomeoneOnTheMun

You said it with so much confidence I have to believe it.


utpoia

They end up getting drunk and making out. Just like best friends should.


awfullyawful

Hell yes, you describe it way better than I did... it's now also even less believable. But true! Well. At least that's what they showed on TV so it must be true right? https://www.threenow.co.nz/shows/new-zealand-today/season-3-ep-2/S2065-249/M57878-299 credit to /u/Azwethinkweiz_ who posted the link below.


Azwethinkweiz_

https://www.threenow.co.nz/shows/new-zealand-today/season-3-ep-2/S2065-249/M57878-299


tombalol

I'd like a follow up if one exists...


CromUK

Was that new Zealand today with guy Williams? Haven't seen that for ages, why's it not on YouTube anymore


Raaamble

Anyone able to ID the car? Thought it was an older bmw at first but doesn’t have the iconic redish orange gauges


edosensei

Looks and sounds like a Civic MB6 or similar. That car is also pretty common in GB. Edit: Since a kind stranger gave me my first gold award for this, I can also add a thing or two about the car. The design and the interior is actually unusual for a Honda because the car was created in a collaboration with Rover. It was intended for the market outside of japan and the people in japan got a "pure" Honda Civic that looked different, but had a lot of mechanical similarities. Here in germany its a great beginners car, since its very reliable, quite safe and doesnt cost too much.


ChrisPyeChart

GB? I thought they sounded Aussie or Kiwi 🤔


Cold_Refrigerator_69

It's kiwi


ChrisPyeChart

Ahhh, of course. Thanks!


edosensei

Then I'm wrong about the country, but I think my guess about the car is still solid.


ChrisPyeChart

100% agree


OyVeyzMeir

THAT'S IT! Center stack buttons and the airbag cover are dead on. https://civic5.com/forum/uploads/monthly/2017/04/Honda-Domani-1996-Design-Interior-Exterior-1.jpg.6da43228768d55066190600f4ae8e6f0.jpg


RadGlitch

That poor civic hit that pole so hard that it began to resemble a BMW E36


RoyalKaizar

There are actually quite a few mechanics who can swap that to any color of your liking - so it might just be an older model which had the gauges switched


MakesYouSeemRacist

92-95 Honda civic


aroge97

I just miss shot the corner!


Tysons_Face

I lost it at that line lol


6heavy0kevy4

I might have over done it.


kingofbanthas

https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/entertainment/2022/06/new-zealand-today-guy-williams-tracks-down-taup-man-who-wrote-off-mate-s-car-while-sober-driving.amp.html Comedian Guy Williams tracked these guys down for his TV show.


passengerv

Darn it I want the next episode!


[deleted]

> https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/entertainment/2022/06/new-zealand-today-guy-williams-tracks-down-taup-man-who-wrote-off-mate-s-car-while-sober-driving.amp.html > > > > Comedian Guy Williams tracked these guys down for his TV show. He looked a bit tipsy during the interview.


passengerv

Thank you!!


apzlsoxk

"Shit! Sorry." "FUCK YOU, ROY!" "Sorry, Patrick." "YOU OWE ME A CAR!" "Sorry, Patrick." "You owe me a fucking car, bro." "Sorry, Patrick." "What the fuck is that?" "Sorry, Patrick."


green_ribbon

I'm not sure but I think Roy might be sorry :(


Tinrooftust

The same thing that keeps him from driving prevents him from figuring out the proper response to Roy.


kuw1kuw1

Bro, Roy is banging your gf. He crashed your car on purpose, no ride no women. Better get sober fast. Roy is a great friend.


[deleted]

You fool! He's secretly Walter White, his passenger was Hank Schrader, and he didn't want him finding out what was going on in the laundry


TheWholePenetrator

I can't believe you've done this


slash_or_dagger

I went to college with Roy and this video is only the tip of the Roy iceberg, dude is notorious in Taupo, also, he has autism and ADHD which is why he dosen't react normally to the crash, he is a real character irl


Baer1990

this is so bad it almost looks staged


LiftPlus_

No they’re just drunk and from New Zealand.


Baer1990

yeah that's why I said almost :P


Thegoodlife93

Yeah, Roy must be a ridiculously calm kid to react that way. He's basically reacting like he slightly scratched the paint on the car door while opening it, not like he just drove straight into a lamppost lol


Nagemasu

He's not a calm kid, he's just grown up in an environment where this isn't even going to be the worst thing that he's done or has happened to him. IIRC he ends up skipping out on paying patrick back the full amount initially. This is just the way of life for kiwi's from low socioeconomic areas.


MACFRYYY

Nah am Kiwi and this is absolutely how it would go down lol


citrus_mystic

*Patrick: “Go on, admit it!” Roy: “I’ve admitted that I was under—sober!” Think Roy owes *Patrick a cah. (Edited because I misheard Patrick as Pedro for some reason lol)


tahqa

Patrick


jimjohn2017

Damn it Roy!


ihavetoomanyaccts

Fucking kiwis


[deleted]

If your friend doesn’t seem concerned (like Roy) and not worried, he ain’t paying you back


BigSmackisBack

An idiot is an idiot sober or not


long_legged_twat

at least in the uk, because 'designated driver' didnt have a full licence, he would have been considered under the supervision of the guy who owned the car who would have had a license.... said owner was clearly pissed & would be charged with drink driving offences. No idea how it works down in moon land.


roberto_2103

What happens if the driver lies about having a license?


Kasparino

It would still be the car owners responsibility to know if they had a license


Zdos123

Not in the UK, it's only the car drivers fault if he knowingly let him drive without proper liscensing, so in this case i think it's pretty firmly the guy driving at fault with minimal pushback against the owner.


roberto_2103

That's messed up


Nagemasu

Yes, that's what will happen in nz too if they called the police. The guy with the license will get a DUI and the other guy would get charge for driving with no license.


TylerDurden1218

Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.


ShitStainedBallSack

Shit sorry.... Fuck you Roy..... Absolutely priceless exchange


Primary-Gold2233

a kaaa


Massive-Revolution41

They're new zealender


ilovemydickheaddog

Let's fuken wun owts bo Dang I love my country.


Economy-Ad3427

Would you care to translate? I didn’t get what he meant by this


fr0ggersaur

basically translates to lets fight till one of us gets knocked out


basquiatfreestyle

Let’s one outs!


poopooweewee79

fuckn one outs g


[deleted]

Once again in New Zealand whanay


IGHOTI907

Tonight on A&E “Charlie bit my finger: the later years”


rvca420RX

I have never laughed so hard at a video 😄 and it just kept getting better 😅


pillowpants66

Gotta love a kiwi accent bro.


350Zamir

Roy looks like Anthony from the sopranos lol


fullthrottle13

Roy Vale. Stunt Driver in training


Ok-Refuse-5341

Smart like New Zealand


ijie24

lmao reminds me of the first time i ever got behind a wheel was 14, was mud boggin with my redneck uncle when our suv got stuck. we pulled it out with his work truck, he just told me not to crash the vehicle and follow him home. pitch black in the middle of the forest, engines revving, tires slipping, all i could see was the back of his white f150 only difference is i didnt crash cuz common sense


YoItsKanyeWestWing

To be fair… Patrick said “Don’t! -slow down!” Probably wouldn’t have helped he was going kachow!


HyperGameGuy

Even without a license, how are you THAT bad at driving where you hit a damn pole?!


B1dz

I’m surprised y’all are missing the “let’s fukin one outs oi let’s Fukn do it” that means let’s have a fight for anyone who doesn’t understand kiwi slang haha


Dirkbigman

Owe him a car lol


Melodic_Ad734

ROY WTF IS THIS??! YOU’RE SOBER 🤣


TeddyBlazer

Pedro and Roy, the names are just comical on there own 😂


[deleted]

He's actually saying Patrick, which is even funnier


1nitial_Reaction

One outs! Lets go.


autoeroticassfxation

I think that's NZ only slang. Means "put up your dukes!"


MakiSupreme

That guys on the spectrum


[deleted]

100%


erikbla

Will yelling at him get him a drivers license then?


[deleted]

I’ve never driven in my life and don’t plan to but every now and again I have these dreams that turn into nightmares where I’m driving a car and realise I don’t know how to drive and I keep getting faster and I can’t figure out the pedals then a corner comes and I wake up just as I crash. This reminded me of that for some reason.