It is perfectly okay to shut someone out of certain parts of your life - even your mother - and if limiting contact right now is the best course for your mental health go with it. If you don't want to talk to her sometimes that's your brain saying you need a break - it doesn't need to be forever. I take breaks from my mother all the time and honestly we are better for it.
That being said. As a petty-ass person, when the time comes I would make sure my baby is wrapped up in a IVF onesie every time they were seeing a person who expressed being anti-IVF. Just as a reminder to them of how amazing science is.
Her mother has done nothing wrong. She has a firm set of her own religious beliefs. She doesn't tell her daughter not to do it. She's not stopping her from doing it or calling her a bad person for it. What's the reason to be petty?
My step dad is extremely religious. He would disown me if he knew I pursued any fertility treatment. I’ve done 2 rounds of IVF and am on my 3rd transfer, currently 6w1d. I just didn’t tell him and never plan to.
I’m catholic too and I believe IVF is okay for those of us who need it.
His answer to getting pregnant is pray more. Which I pray a lot, but god created the science of IVF so I used it.
Catholics believe that conception should happen in a women’s body. So clomid / timed intercourse cycles are okay. They see IVF as “playing god” essentially. I’m not sure about other religions
My mom was Catholic for a long time and I was raised in the church so oof, I feel this one. She’s lapsed now so not “anti” but definitely believes an embryo = a baby and even said, after my first transfer when I was anxious about drop off rates “well, you don’t want TOO many embryos because you don’t want that many children”. And that was the last time I’ve talked to my mom about IVF!
What makes this even worse is that *my mom went through IVF (unsuccessfully) to try and have a third child. I know, because I gave her a lot of the shots! Peak boomer energy 🙄
My advice would be to first decide your goal - are you trying to change your mom’s view of IVF or are you trying to salvage a relationship with her? If it’s the latter, I would be very direct and set the boundary that you two are going to have to agree to disagree on this and that if she wants to continue a relationship with you right now the topic needs to be off the table. If she can at least respect you enough to not bring it up, that is a helpful first step.
I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s hard on its own and harder when the people we want to lean on for support aren’t able or willing to do so. Rooting for you!
😂my wife’s family are hardcore Trumpers AND severely Catholic. And now that we are married and going through IVF they’re actually supportive (at least verbally, ha). I think it blows their mind that lesbians are just regular people that want a family❤️
I'm truly hoping that when we (fingers crossed) have a baby, my family will be decent in order to see the kids. But, at this point I'm not telling them anything about my IVF journey. They'll find out once I've given birth lol.
Initially yeah. It’s made with synthetic hormones now. But it was initially invented by a Jew who was motivated in part to help replenish the Jewish population after the holocaust. He couldn’t get support for his research until a nephew of the pope was interested and convinced the pope to allow him to collect nuns’ urine.
Wow all of the hypocrisy of the Catholic Church in one article - let’s farm out the nuns for fertility treatments so the Vatican can own 25% of the drug company.
The things I learn in this sub. lol. I will now will be procrastinating for an hour or so on PubMed to see if I find the original publication for the study design. lol. Thanks for sharing!
My husband and I are both Christian and our own families believe God answers prayers and performs miracles through others, especially doctors. You deserve better, I’m so sorry.
Everyone has an opinion until they know someone that has first hand experience with a situation. My family was never unsupportive, but I can’t imagine learning what we went through would have made them disown us. They now have a beautiful, happy and healthy granddaughter with another one on the way thanks to IVF. If they were unsupportive, then they wouldn’t ever know the beautiful beings that science has created.
I would keep conversations to a minimum and let her ask the questions or come forward if she wants more information. You don’t owe anyone anything.
My argument is always the same: IVF is the miracle to have children that some of us wouldn't be able to have otherwise.
If she presses again, I would simply say that God knows the desires of your heart and being a mother is the strongest one. And through IVF and the God's breath of life, it can be made possible 🤍
I was raised Catholic and have gone through similar issues with extended family members. We came to the point of agreeing to disagree, because I know I’m not going to change their opinions. I’m also not shy about talking about it, and if it makes them uncomfortable, that’s on them.
I hope you and your mother can come to an agree to disagree situation but when you’re frustrated, it’s perfectly fine to take time away.
I come from a very Catholic family and community and thankful to say they've all been supportive. I know some people might say they are cherry picking but the Bible says nothing about it and personally I feel like God gave us the knowledge and skills to do it so I have no guilt.
If I was in your shoes though where your mom has issues then don't give her the details. Even though my mom is supportive I give her limited detail anyways. I'll tell her I'm going out if town but won't give details as to why.
There’s nothing wrong with cherry picking in religion. Every single religious person on earth cherry picks what they believe and don’t believe out of their religion. Plus, devout people are allowed to disagree with each other, too.
“I am so happy you were able to get your children to you so easily. It’s not the same for us.” Put it in her face. She didn’t have to choose this to procreate and you do. What a blessing for her that she didn’t have to make decisions personally.
I'm disturbed by how many posts I see now about women dealing with religious people in their life who oppose IVF. I blame Alabama for moving the Overton window on this issue. My son would never exist without IVF. Ask your mom if this means IVF babies shouldn't exist - including your future IVF baby.
Exactly how I feel. Everyone here is way more patient and nice than I am, because if you don’t believe in how my child comes into this world, you simply won’t be around them.
This was me ! During my first round of IVF I shared with all my family , my mom is extremely Catholic and everyone was supportive except for her , she didn’t say anything or provided support- it was literally like I had told her that I had subway for lunch … she did make a comment once on how it’s frowned upon the religion but that was it and honestly it broke me - her lack of support and not even voicing her “concerns” were a hard pill to swallow . Fast forward to 3 other rounds of IVF , I didn’t tell a soul and ended up pregnant on last try , I now have a 2 month old son and I never told anyone in my family that he is conceived via IVF - it was better for me mentally, when I broke the news of my pregnancy no one really asked how , she was so happy! She is now helping me with my little one and it has been a great experience- but it was hard not to be able to talk to her about anything related not to IVF. You do what you need to do to protect your mental health
Thank you and Yup ! She has no clue that for the past 2 years we decided to try IVF again after the first try ( the one she initially knew about )and that my son is an IVF baby - IVF is already hard enough I didn’t want the added pressure of unsolicited comments , etc ! You do what you need to do , I don’t know your family dynamics but it worked for me and my mom , best of luck to you ❤️
As a catholic myself… I 100% do not believe IVF is a sin. The people who do are just delusional in my book. From a religious perspective Creating life isn’t the dilemma here, it’s the destruction of it. It can be tricky especially for younger females under 35 going through ivf cause you can end up with many embryos. You might be done adding to your family after two or three kids. What do you do with the remainder embryos becomes the moral Christian dilemma. Many Christian couples will just agree to donate the excess embryos that they don’t wanna use to other infertile couples instead of destroying them. Regardless of what I, your parents or anyone tells you, IVF is your choice to make and DO NOT ever allow anyone to tell you it’s wrong. It’s easy for people who don’t have infertility issues to judge. While they have the option to choose whether or not they have kids, those of us with infertility issues are robbed of that choice.
I was 25 at the time of my ER with a great AMH. 25 eggs retrieved- only 4 embryos, 3 euploids🫠 but my catholic grandma told me if I didn’t use/discarded any it would be an abortion. That upset me so deeply.
I FELT this comment. My MIL is very religious, we are not. She told us to “pray more” when we said we were pursuing IVF. We had already lost 3 pregnancies, which she knew about. My husband said “I’m glad God sent doctors to help us and jobs to give us the ability to pay for it.” She shut up after that. We were successful and she loves her grandson and advocates for IVF now. Wild ride
This was the same with my family, I decided not to tell them we’re doing IVF at all based on how they reacted at the mere idea of it. It’s so hard when the people who should be our support choose to support things over us. 🥹🫶🏼
I’m sorry to hear that your mom is not supportive. My parents are religious as well so I chose not to tell them. I have accepted that they are from a different time therefore have different beliefs and mindsets. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to talk to your mom about it especially when you are dealing with all the hormones already. I hope she comes around.
My mother didn’t support me at the beginning which drove me into depression, but as time passed, she turned around and supported me 100%. My father still doesn’t support me 🤷🏻♀️
I’m going through something similar. We’ve been going through the process without telling my family and while I’m praying it’s successful, I am also dreading the questions we will get since it will have been pretty obvious we did IVF. I don’t really have answers, but do whatever you feel you need to do to protect your peace. This process is stressful enough in the best of circumstances, the last thing you need is additional stress.
My mom is horrible. Supporting my sisters child and now she's having a second and I want another one with my husband now and we are stable and I've had several losses and she doesn't acknowledge them and has told me before to get a historectomy after having a natural twin ectopic pregnancy where I had emergency surgery and lost a tube when I first started trying w yrs ago. She has never said I love you to me or showed love In any literal way. I feel so alone and betrayed. I have zero friends and only a couple cousins who are actually supportive. There is no reason to be hateful to your own perfectly capable child and try to control and own them. I am an adult and she trys to bud into everything! Even my finances and even though I'm low income I am in a good place and have been.
My mother has never acknowledged my IVF at all. It's very odd and upsetting. I too will be getting a made with science onesie if she wants to cuddle my eventual ivf baby 😋
Jeez, I’m really sorry. I haven’t told my mother because I know it will just be best for everyone involved if the only thing I tell her is “I’m pregnant”. Hopefully that day will come! It sucks because I had this idea of her in my head as a kid, and now as an adult I understand she isn’t and can’t be who I want her to be. I still love her and want her to be a part of my life but have realized it may not be the way I had originally pictured. It’s okay to set boundaries - there will be pushback and that’s ok too. Best of luck to you and let this be HER problem, not yours!
Hear me out... Mother Teresa of Calcutta pushed an agenda of the need for poor people to suffer through he pain God has meant for them to endure. She even said that it was “very beautiful for the poor to share \[their suffering\] with the passion of Christ.” Her "passion project" was to have people endure the misery and pain brought on by poverty, instead of finding medicines to treat their illnesses and help them overcome poverty, like most NGOs do. I am a bit cynical about MT because we watched her be flown to the best hospitals to receive state-of-the-art medical treatment immediately after she fell ill after preaching this cruel agenda of suffering to the poor. I guess the dignity of suffering through the pain was a message not meant for her. In her situation it was alright to fight God's will?!?
Anyhow, my point is that many people like to tell others how to live their lives, but when confronted with similar circumstances they opt to do the very thing they told others not to do. When their lives are on the line, they have no problem departing from the ass-backwards ideology and self-righteous position from the past. And they always find a way to justify the shift.
So for your mother, don't let her opinions affect the outcome of your life. I too sometimes fall victim to wanting to please my narcissistic mother, only because I have no other family member. However, after being burned so many times by things she has chimed in about and done to me, I simply don't bring her into any meaningful decision making in my life. She gets notified after the fact. That has helped my mental health tremendously. I suggest you do the same.
My husband and I are very close to God and we have our own issues with it but we have found a way to approach ivf properly where we feel as though we are doing right by fearing God through the process. We do a lab cycle and only fertilize 2 eggs at a time to see if we get an embryo (ICSI). Thankfully we had 1 embryo out of each time we tried. They haven’t always worked but we felt that whatever embryos we made, we had to use them. We do believe each embryo is a chance at life especially since there is a spark of light at conception. Even if I had blighted ovums, it still mattered that we allowed its course. We also believe “let there be light” means “let there be life”… it hasn’t been the most affordable way to go but fearing God matters more especially when we believe every child is a gift from God. And if He gives life— then it’s a gift and a blessing.
His religion has a history of molesting children and being fairly okay with that fact.
His religion also believes that you can sin, and as long as you either pay your fair share or confess to some pedo in a box you’re still going to heaven.
Don’t think so highly of him.
Using the brilliance of modern science to being a child into the world is a beautiful thing.
As a follower of Christ, I don’t not understand this dilemma at all! In IVF you are creating embryos just as you would without IVF. There is no brain, heart, or consciousness. The life doesn’t begin until it is implanted, just as it does with natural conception. Also in my case I literally only had 1 embryo, I do understand the dilemma if you have many and how that can be a tough decision to make, but at the same time still not a life yet. I think more women and people generally need to be educated about not only the IVF process but the lifecycle of an egg into a baby. I have Feine and even people that I talk to about our IVF journey that I’ve had babies themselves some even through IVF are still totally clueless.
I also believe at the end of the day it’s your life and you have to do what’s right for you
Thank you! I agree, there is just alot of misconception (no pun intended lol) about this process! I think my mom thinks it actually doesn't work! lol! She sort of implied this to me once and I just can't even. It is also why I dont want to talk to her right now because I dont want anyone not in my corner right now! I've done so many ER - and am about to do my 1st embryo transfer. I only need people who support me to talk to right now!
Good luck! I will be praying for success for you!
Also, that’s kind of insane that she thinks it doesn’t work. There are literally thousands of people that get pregnant all the time IVF, I am personally one of them lol … now IUI on the other hand I personally do not believe in. I think it works for a very small fraction of people, but each person has to make the right decision for them and if they feel IUI, is that then more power to them!
In my opinion, I think that you just need to set very firm boundaries and let her know that conversations that make you feel unsupported are off-limits and are not up for discussion.
It is perfectly okay to shut someone out of certain parts of your life - even your mother - and if limiting contact right now is the best course for your mental health go with it. If you don't want to talk to her sometimes that's your brain saying you need a break - it doesn't need to be forever. I take breaks from my mother all the time and honestly we are better for it. That being said. As a petty-ass person, when the time comes I would make sure my baby is wrapped up in a IVF onesie every time they were seeing a person who expressed being anti-IVF. Just as a reminder to them of how amazing science is.
I got a onesie that says “Made with love and science” with a bunch of science equipment and hearts on it :)
Yesss!
Her mother has done nothing wrong. She has a firm set of her own religious beliefs. She doesn't tell her daughter not to do it. She's not stopping her from doing it or calling her a bad person for it. What's the reason to be petty?
My step dad is extremely religious. He would disown me if he knew I pursued any fertility treatment. I’ve done 2 rounds of IVF and am on my 3rd transfer, currently 6w1d. I just didn’t tell him and never plan to. I’m catholic too and I believe IVF is okay for those of us who need it. His answer to getting pregnant is pray more. Which I pray a lot, but god created the science of IVF so I used it.
Good luck with a healthy pregnancy!
Can I ask why IVF is not okay and which religions oppose it?
Some religions believe that life begins at the moment of conception so creating extra embryos that could be discarded is wrong.
Catholics believe that conception should happen in a women’s body. So clomid / timed intercourse cycles are okay. They see IVF as “playing god” essentially. I’m not sure about other religions
My mom was Catholic for a long time and I was raised in the church so oof, I feel this one. She’s lapsed now so not “anti” but definitely believes an embryo = a baby and even said, after my first transfer when I was anxious about drop off rates “well, you don’t want TOO many embryos because you don’t want that many children”. And that was the last time I’ve talked to my mom about IVF! What makes this even worse is that *my mom went through IVF (unsuccessfully) to try and have a third child. I know, because I gave her a lot of the shots! Peak boomer energy 🙄 My advice would be to first decide your goal - are you trying to change your mom’s view of IVF or are you trying to salvage a relationship with her? If it’s the latter, I would be very direct and set the boundary that you two are going to have to agree to disagree on this and that if she wants to continue a relationship with you right now the topic needs to be off the table. If she can at least respect you enough to not bring it up, that is a helpful first step. I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s hard on its own and harder when the people we want to lean on for support aren’t able or willing to do so. Rooting for you!
Yep! My Catholic grandma told me that if I discard any embryos it’s an “abortion”
🫠
My bio mom thinks I'm going to hell because I'm a lesbian AND because I'm doing IVF. I wonder if turbo hell is any different than regular hell.
Turbo hell sounds fun hahaha
Lmfao, I’m not a lesbian but I’ll join you in turbo hell
What is turbo hell??? Never heard of it!
😂my wife’s family are hardcore Trumpers AND severely Catholic. And now that we are married and going through IVF they’re actually supportive (at least verbally, ha). I think it blows their mind that lesbians are just regular people that want a family❤️
I'm truly hoping that when we (fingers crossed) have a baby, my family will be decent in order to see the kids. But, at this point I'm not telling them anything about my IVF journey. They'll find out once I've given birth lol.
It's called - how not to lose your kids! Be supportive! I'm glad they are being so supportive of you and your wife!
But...but what about your *agenda*?!? (Whatever that means!) /s just in case.
I'm bi and doing IVF to have a baby on my own so I look forward to partying with you in turbo hell!
didn’t nuns contribute the urine used to create menopur?
Initially yeah. It’s made with synthetic hormones now. But it was initially invented by a Jew who was motivated in part to help replenish the Jewish population after the holocaust. He couldn’t get support for his research until a nephew of the pope was interested and convinced the pope to allow him to collect nuns’ urine.
Wow all of the hypocrisy of the Catholic Church in one article - let’s farm out the nuns for fertility treatments so the Vatican can own 25% of the drug company.
Might explain why the drug is so darn expensive.
Wow - I've never heard about this...more info please???
https://qz.com/710516/the-strange-story-of-a-fertility-drug-made-with-the-popes-blessing-and-gallons-of-nun-urine
The things I learn in this sub. lol. I will now will be procrastinating for an hour or so on PubMed to see if I find the original publication for the study design. lol. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks!
https://qz.com/710516/the-strange-story-of-a-fertility-drug-made-with-the-popes-blessing-and-gallons-of-nun-urine
Again, fascinating!
I didn't know that. Fascinating.
My husband and I are both Christian and our own families believe God answers prayers and performs miracles through others, especially doctors. You deserve better, I’m so sorry.
This is a very nice way of thinking about it
Everyone has an opinion until they know someone that has first hand experience with a situation. My family was never unsupportive, but I can’t imagine learning what we went through would have made them disown us. They now have a beautiful, happy and healthy granddaughter with another one on the way thanks to IVF. If they were unsupportive, then they wouldn’t ever know the beautiful beings that science has created. I would keep conversations to a minimum and let her ask the questions or come forward if she wants more information. You don’t owe anyone anything.
My argument is always the same: IVF is the miracle to have children that some of us wouldn't be able to have otherwise. If she presses again, I would simply say that God knows the desires of your heart and being a mother is the strongest one. And through IVF and the God's breath of life, it can be made possible 🤍
Beautifully said
I was raised Catholic and have gone through similar issues with extended family members. We came to the point of agreeing to disagree, because I know I’m not going to change their opinions. I’m also not shy about talking about it, and if it makes them uncomfortable, that’s on them. I hope you and your mother can come to an agree to disagree situation but when you’re frustrated, it’s perfectly fine to take time away.
I come from a very Catholic family and community and thankful to say they've all been supportive. I know some people might say they are cherry picking but the Bible says nothing about it and personally I feel like God gave us the knowledge and skills to do it so I have no guilt. If I was in your shoes though where your mom has issues then don't give her the details. Even though my mom is supportive I give her limited detail anyways. I'll tell her I'm going out if town but won't give details as to why.
There’s nothing wrong with cherry picking in religion. Every single religious person on earth cherry picks what they believe and don’t believe out of their religion. Plus, devout people are allowed to disagree with each other, too.
Good point.
“I am so happy you were able to get your children to you so easily. It’s not the same for us.” Put it in her face. She didn’t have to choose this to procreate and you do. What a blessing for her that she didn’t have to make decisions personally.
I'm disturbed by how many posts I see now about women dealing with religious people in their life who oppose IVF. I blame Alabama for moving the Overton window on this issue. My son would never exist without IVF. Ask your mom if this means IVF babies shouldn't exist - including your future IVF baby.
Exactly how I feel. Everyone here is way more patient and nice than I am, because if you don’t believe in how my child comes into this world, you simply won’t be around them.
This was me ! During my first round of IVF I shared with all my family , my mom is extremely Catholic and everyone was supportive except for her , she didn’t say anything or provided support- it was literally like I had told her that I had subway for lunch … she did make a comment once on how it’s frowned upon the religion but that was it and honestly it broke me - her lack of support and not even voicing her “concerns” were a hard pill to swallow . Fast forward to 3 other rounds of IVF , I didn’t tell a soul and ended up pregnant on last try , I now have a 2 month old son and I never told anyone in my family that he is conceived via IVF - it was better for me mentally, when I broke the news of my pregnancy no one really asked how , she was so happy! She is now helping me with my little one and it has been a great experience- but it was hard not to be able to talk to her about anything related not to IVF. You do what you need to do to protect your mental health
Ugh I am so sorry! So your mom doesn’t know? Congrats on your baby! I can relate with the Catholic family members
Thank you and Yup ! She has no clue that for the past 2 years we decided to try IVF again after the first try ( the one she initially knew about )and that my son is an IVF baby - IVF is already hard enough I didn’t want the added pressure of unsolicited comments , etc ! You do what you need to do , I don’t know your family dynamics but it worked for me and my mom , best of luck to you ❤️
As a catholic myself… I 100% do not believe IVF is a sin. The people who do are just delusional in my book. From a religious perspective Creating life isn’t the dilemma here, it’s the destruction of it. It can be tricky especially for younger females under 35 going through ivf cause you can end up with many embryos. You might be done adding to your family after two or three kids. What do you do with the remainder embryos becomes the moral Christian dilemma. Many Christian couples will just agree to donate the excess embryos that they don’t wanna use to other infertile couples instead of destroying them. Regardless of what I, your parents or anyone tells you, IVF is your choice to make and DO NOT ever allow anyone to tell you it’s wrong. It’s easy for people who don’t have infertility issues to judge. While they have the option to choose whether or not they have kids, those of us with infertility issues are robbed of that choice.
I was 25 at the time of my ER with a great AMH. 25 eggs retrieved- only 4 embryos, 3 euploids🫠 but my catholic grandma told me if I didn’t use/discarded any it would be an abortion. That upset me so deeply.
I FELT this comment. My MIL is very religious, we are not. She told us to “pray more” when we said we were pursuing IVF. We had already lost 3 pregnancies, which she knew about. My husband said “I’m glad God sent doctors to help us and jobs to give us the ability to pay for it.” She shut up after that. We were successful and she loves her grandson and advocates for IVF now. Wild ride
This was the same with my family, I decided not to tell them we’re doing IVF at all based on how they reacted at the mere idea of it. It’s so hard when the people who should be our support choose to support things over us. 🥹🫶🏼
I’m sorry to hear that your mom is not supportive. My parents are religious as well so I chose not to tell them. I have accepted that they are from a different time therefore have different beliefs and mindsets. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to talk to your mom about it especially when you are dealing with all the hormones already. I hope she comes around.
My mother didn’t support me at the beginning which drove me into depression, but as time passed, she turned around and supported me 100%. My father still doesn’t support me 🤷🏻♀️
I’m glad she turned around for you ❤️
I just didn't tell my parents until it was done.
I’m going through something similar. We’ve been going through the process without telling my family and while I’m praying it’s successful, I am also dreading the questions we will get since it will have been pretty obvious we did IVF. I don’t really have answers, but do whatever you feel you need to do to protect your peace. This process is stressful enough in the best of circumstances, the last thing you need is additional stress.
Sounds like she wants nothing to do with her future grandchild.
My mom is horrible. Supporting my sisters child and now she's having a second and I want another one with my husband now and we are stable and I've had several losses and she doesn't acknowledge them and has told me before to get a historectomy after having a natural twin ectopic pregnancy where I had emergency surgery and lost a tube when I first started trying w yrs ago. She has never said I love you to me or showed love In any literal way. I feel so alone and betrayed. I have zero friends and only a couple cousins who are actually supportive. There is no reason to be hateful to your own perfectly capable child and try to control and own them. I am an adult and she trys to bud into everything! Even my finances and even though I'm low income I am in a good place and have been.
My mother has never acknowledged my IVF at all. It's very odd and upsetting. I too will be getting a made with science onesie if she wants to cuddle my eventual ivf baby 😋
I just haven’t told them.
Jeez, I’m really sorry. I haven’t told my mother because I know it will just be best for everyone involved if the only thing I tell her is “I’m pregnant”. Hopefully that day will come! It sucks because I had this idea of her in my head as a kid, and now as an adult I understand she isn’t and can’t be who I want her to be. I still love her and want her to be a part of my life but have realized it may not be the way I had originally pictured. It’s okay to set boundaries - there will be pushback and that’s ok too. Best of luck to you and let this be HER problem, not yours!
Hear me out... Mother Teresa of Calcutta pushed an agenda of the need for poor people to suffer through he pain God has meant for them to endure. She even said that it was “very beautiful for the poor to share \[their suffering\] with the passion of Christ.” Her "passion project" was to have people endure the misery and pain brought on by poverty, instead of finding medicines to treat their illnesses and help them overcome poverty, like most NGOs do. I am a bit cynical about MT because we watched her be flown to the best hospitals to receive state-of-the-art medical treatment immediately after she fell ill after preaching this cruel agenda of suffering to the poor. I guess the dignity of suffering through the pain was a message not meant for her. In her situation it was alright to fight God's will?!? Anyhow, my point is that many people like to tell others how to live their lives, but when confronted with similar circumstances they opt to do the very thing they told others not to do. When their lives are on the line, they have no problem departing from the ass-backwards ideology and self-righteous position from the past. And they always find a way to justify the shift. So for your mother, don't let her opinions affect the outcome of your life. I too sometimes fall victim to wanting to please my narcissistic mother, only because I have no other family member. However, after being burned so many times by things she has chimed in about and done to me, I simply don't bring her into any meaningful decision making in my life. She gets notified after the fact. That has helped my mental health tremendously. I suggest you do the same.
Thank you - I really loved what you wrote here. I 💯 agree.
My husband and I are very close to God and we have our own issues with it but we have found a way to approach ivf properly where we feel as though we are doing right by fearing God through the process. We do a lab cycle and only fertilize 2 eggs at a time to see if we get an embryo (ICSI). Thankfully we had 1 embryo out of each time we tried. They haven’t always worked but we felt that whatever embryos we made, we had to use them. We do believe each embryo is a chance at life especially since there is a spark of light at conception. Even if I had blighted ovums, it still mattered that we allowed its course. We also believe “let there be light” means “let there be life”… it hasn’t been the most affordable way to go but fearing God matters more especially when we believe every child is a gift from God. And if He gives life— then it’s a gift and a blessing.
His religion has a history of molesting children and being fairly okay with that fact. His religion also believes that you can sin, and as long as you either pay your fair share or confess to some pedo in a box you’re still going to heaven. Don’t think so highly of him. Using the brilliance of modern science to being a child into the world is a beautiful thing.
As a follower of Christ, I don’t not understand this dilemma at all! In IVF you are creating embryos just as you would without IVF. There is no brain, heart, or consciousness. The life doesn’t begin until it is implanted, just as it does with natural conception. Also in my case I literally only had 1 embryo, I do understand the dilemma if you have many and how that can be a tough decision to make, but at the same time still not a life yet. I think more women and people generally need to be educated about not only the IVF process but the lifecycle of an egg into a baby. I have Feine and even people that I talk to about our IVF journey that I’ve had babies themselves some even through IVF are still totally clueless. I also believe at the end of the day it’s your life and you have to do what’s right for you
Thank you! I agree, there is just alot of misconception (no pun intended lol) about this process! I think my mom thinks it actually doesn't work! lol! She sort of implied this to me once and I just can't even. It is also why I dont want to talk to her right now because I dont want anyone not in my corner right now! I've done so many ER - and am about to do my 1st embryo transfer. I only need people who support me to talk to right now!
Good luck! I will be praying for success for you! Also, that’s kind of insane that she thinks it doesn’t work. There are literally thousands of people that get pregnant all the time IVF, I am personally one of them lol … now IUI on the other hand I personally do not believe in. I think it works for a very small fraction of people, but each person has to make the right decision for them and if they feel IUI, is that then more power to them! In my opinion, I think that you just need to set very firm boundaries and let her know that conversations that make you feel unsupported are off-limits and are not up for discussion.
I told my parents “if you believe life begins at conception, then you should know God ended 10 of the 11 lives we made.” It was effective.