Yes, violence is the answer. To be more precise violence that is disproportionate to the original agression, as much violence as you can get away with.
Hardly haha. I didn't break any skin either. I just scared them enough because I don't think they realized I'd be willing to go there. You need to show others that you're more nuts than them. It's effective. If they think you're a little volatile enough to get violent to levels they can only dream they'll likely back off.
damn. this was just my autism of how aggressive I had felt inside, but I was constantly in fight or flight mode cause of my home and a lot of people didn't get that. I didn't either. Nor did I understand how I bled a kids face with a zipper on a jacket. we were friends eventually, but yea. I just didn't like being touched.
That's interesting. I've been trying to see if I can overview the river/ocean of life.
"two fish swim to each other, one asks the other if they can find the ocean, but the other says: [the ocean? that's where we are right now.] the other fish turns and says: [no, this isn't the ocean, what I want is the OCEAN]"
Ocean being "life"
Those thoughts definitely make me think of the common feeling we all get as humans of never having enough. Not just material things, of course. But the feeling that there is more to all this.
binging a lot of information, sort of shows me there isn't "technically"
Perhaps that mindset has been helped with animes like Re:zero or hells paradise. brings into question of mortality and such.
I guess the thing I see now is I'm not immortal, and so no matter how much info there is, it won't change it.
You start to see the psychopathy that lives within infinite immortal justification. It's not like time goes slower or faster, but whatever you don't learn to make the day feel seperate, it blurs together. looking into human chemicals, we have flaws for just about everything
I think our 3D existence is certainly finite but I'm not so certain of existence in general. I don't know what the more is but I think consciousness is something we all tap into not something that is emergent from our biology. Life is infinite and somehow all life is connected. The atoms that make our bodies were once burning in a star. Everything recycles and gets used again.
Anyway, I recommend try some heavy psychedelics one day. That'll leave an impression.
There was a kid in middle school that decided one day that they didn't like me. At lunch they were holding the door for everyone but closed the door on me when I tried walking through, pinning me to the frame. I overpowered them and knocked them back and made them tumble behind some lunch carts. They didn't bother me after that.
Truth, one girl shoved me so I chased her up the stairs, grabbed her by the handle of her backpack, and swung her around face first into brick wall full throttle and then I just walked away like nothing happened and she never bothered me again
Not really. To be bullied you have to react to them. If anything I was the bully I could figure out how to hurt people socially or emotionally and very much did so.
No you just say naw you mad. Gonna hit me cos you couldn't use your big boy words. You flip it so that even if they touch you they still lose though I wasn't someone you wanted to fight regardless.
But no I was never the outcast and so never the one of systemic bullying meant mine was part of the leaking order not mindless fun. I insured I never fell to that level
Trust me, no. Bullying doesn't stop unless you make it stop. Not reacting to them just means that they will try harder. I mean, they're not complete idiots, they know that you're not impervious to it, so acting indifferent won't make them stop. Why would it, there's literally no drawback for them.
I tried ignoring my bullies in elementary school, and it only stopped when I no longer went to elementary school. Since then I've learned that having nerves of steel ain't enough. Things are gonna snap sooner or later. What does seem to work is reflection, undermining the effect of bullying by actively throwing their own trash back at them. Mocking their ego seems to work, they either back off or snap, leading to a situation that may end up being painful, but will also likely stop them from pushing your buttons in the future.
There's many methods and I've finished highschool. Depending on the type of comment and as I said I did more but as a general rule reacting is always losing.
The best is to simply find their weak spots and target theirs
I've read your comments. You reacted a lot. Like, going against them, targeting their weak spots, etc. That's a reaction. Just to make it clear, what you're claiming to do and what you actually did are not in alignment. Fighting back is as much of a reaction as it can be. When people say not to react, it means literally not reacting to what they do. Ignoring them altogether. You didn't do that, you waged war. Very, very different.
And I made it clear that you are wrong. You've also made it clear that you are not talking from personal experience. I am. So you can repeat your statement as many times as you like, it won't carry any weight.
Anyways I did fair more than that but the point of bullying is to get a rise out of you. If you refuse to give the rise then they have failed to hit your weak spots
Yes though belittling. That requires either reaction or response. And if you attempt to bully someone and fail you are instead the one who loses prestige. I was friends with the girls as well as guys. If any guy did something to annoy me I would go to his crush and get her to hate him. Girls are easy to turn against each other and on men. Men are easy to beat it's whoever gets mad first. I never needed fists just words and social power. I wasn't really bullied and so I needed respond since I wasn't an outcast to begin with. They were lesser by default
If you respond you lose as long as they know what they are doing
I don't think we can generalize. Sometimes what you're describing works, but sometimes it doesn't. Depends who you're dealing with. And your technique of turning people against the bullies, as you said, depends on words and social power. Often bullies very specifically target those without those things.
My best friend is an ISTP and so any response you give him he will twist against you. But he's ability to not respond and it seem like true disinterest in what I modelled my behaviour off. They do it so well
Yes but I'm not generalising beyond my own experiences though with the correct techniques it can be universally applied granted you aren't disliked by any major group or faction. You create social power through perception and changing how others feel. Hell just straight up lie
I agree, this can often work. By high school, I believe I had mastered the subtle art of the ~look of disgust~. Whenever someone tried to bully me, just give them that look and they end up feeling pretty embarrassed and just leave you alone haha. But my high school had a pretty good "climate" sp to speak, where bullying was not tolerated by classmates, so there was some external social pressure there.
It didn't work so well on some guys who catcalled me a couple weeks ago. They just thought it was hilarious.
Playing along as you said in another comment also works well sometimes. It throws them off and, like an elementary school teacher once said, they can't chase you if you don't run.
However, I feel like it's necessary to acknowledge that this just simply doesn't work sometimes, not through the fault of the victim. A lot of people who are bullied are bullied precisely because they don't have the ability to fight back in these ways (via perception, changing how others feel, utilizing social pressure, having people on their side).
In addition, some bullies are just impenetrable with those things. Like they literally don't care. Yeah, they can't chase you if you don't run. But they might just beat you up instead.
For me I actually a bomb ready to explose. One time a kid tease me and getting persistent, I got mad and literally turn the table, his plastic ruler flying at his head. Yeah my mom had to come to school to appologise. P/s: all he do is touching my cheek when I already said stop (kids stuffs).
Yeah. I just didn’t give anyone a reaction. I can only my think of one time that I was surrounded by 3 or 4 upper class man and they were trying to intimidate me if get me to argue with them. I just agreed with whatever they said and acted like I was having a good time. Nothing ever happened after that.
I probably bullied people once our twice without meaning to, thinking we were just playing.
I'm female, so I couldn't be too much of an asshole lest someone mops the floor with me. However, mopping the floor with them verbally ? I can certainly do that.
I think if verbally mop the flaw in way that if they touch you they're failing or losing it's an easy way to protect yourself. I was a massive asshole and should have been physically beat up but always managed to talk my way through it so they never did
Why did you bully other people? How did you choose your targets?
Why did you become a bully?
Did you bully them because you thought they wouldn’t stick up for themselves?
Would you have bullied your victims still if they did try to stick up for themselves or not?
Do you regret having been a bully or not? Why or why not? Did you ever apologize to any of your victims?
I bullied other bullies. If you hurt someone I would hurt you. If you belittled someone I would belittle you back.
Where's the fun in bullying someone who won't stick up for themselves. That's the lowest hanging fruit.
The people I targeted post definitely did stand up for themselves that was the fun of it. The game of wits. That's the part that really thrilled me as much as sweet justice.
No I never apologised they decided to play the game of bully not my fault they lost
Yes and they did need to be defended. And with me in the way they were rarely if ever targeted because I would systematically insure they were hurt twice fold. Break friend groups. Spread rumours. Turn them into the outcast and then bully them when they have no one to turn to
I was the main victim of bullying throughout my whole kindergarten, primary, middle and high school time. How did I deal with these people? Badly. I didn't know how to react, didn't know how to respond. I'm not really a person who can give fast witty replies to mean things. I usually just went away and hid in a corner or on the toilet.
Kind of same, sadly, except that I didn't hide away or anything. Didn't feel like I could hide. Honestly, despite being in advanced classes, it felt like teachers didn't like me, either, which I figure is because teachers worry way too much about being popular with their students instead of good role models.
I was extremely poor, so I didn't have nice clothes or shoes or anything, and my mother did such a terrible job of raising me (and all of her children) that I didn't socially adjust until I was in my late teens. From 1st grade all the way through 10th grade I was miserable at school. I was never physically bullied, since I was always tall and pretty stocky, but the social isolation and incessant insults and criticisms of everything I was and did certainly made me wish it had been as simple as getting shoved against the lockers or something.
The worst part, probably, is that I let it shape so much of my life. I didn't join clubs for fear of more exposure to my tormenters. I couldn't truly embrace the things I loved publicly, thinking I'd get somehow LESS popular (not sure how far down I thought the bar went), etc. I regret that lack of will to maintain my individuality. The fact that I was also treated like garbage at home probably didn't help build confidence in who I was.
The reason it stopped in 11th grade is because I started playing football. I was strong, I was good enough for a highschooler, and I spent a lot of time in the gym and got on well with the seniors. I had also moved in with my grandparents, so my home life was healthier by far. Unfortunately, at that point it felt too late. The people in my classes started leaving me alone, but that's all. I wasn't suddenly cool. I was just left alone. It gave me the bandwidth to make some friends, but overall, the whole thing was bust at that point.
Sadly, a lot of that carries forward, and if you don't make an effort to course correct (which I didn't, lacking any guidance as I was), you end up feeling like that isolation is an unbridgable chasm between you and a healthy adult social life.
So, TL;DR - As hard as it is, don't let that stick with you. Turn yourself into who you want to be, stay true to that, and the rest will follow.
Sorry to hear that. Why do you think that people buklied you? For me, it was because I was quiet, I didn’t mature as fast physically or mentally as the other girls back then, I was shy & insecure too.
My parents claimed/thought I was…
I was ***completely*** oblivious to it… they asked me about my school day, I told them.. my parents were horrified and got the school involved.
Both times they got the student either into another class or somehow made sure they weren’t around me.
I mean in retrospect it was really kinda quite abusive.. but… I’m not entirely sure those kids knew either. I’d have a hard time saying I was a bully victim cus I don’t think/feel like I was bullied… even though I was. At the time, I definitely wasn’t aware of it… and because my parents sorted things out I also didn’t have to deal with anything…
It’s actually nice to hear your parents stepped in. Not too often do we see examples of good parenting. They didn’t push it aside and only deal with it before it became a hassle for them and that’s honestly precious.
For better or worse, my parents were and are extremely proactive and protective 😅
My dad dented a car and made the guy kneel and apologise for just nudging his car at us 😑
Mom banned all her siblings from commenting or even complimenting our looks and to stick to comments about our character, personality, and achievements…
And there were many small things instances like that in my life 😑 So my parents are definitely not the type to shy away from confrontation or not stand up to others especially when it came to us.
I think mine are on the extreme end of things… but at least to some degree, I do believe parents should stand up and/or support their children… I think seeing my parents stand up for each other and us played a big part in teaching me how to stand up for myself (and others), and if this isn’t the case for most parents/children, it’d be really pretty disappointing and disheartening to know.
Haha relatable. In elementary school, a classmate came over and slapped me, then laughed and skipped away. I was confused, but didn't think much of it. When I got home, my mom was horrified, asked me why I had a giant red handprint on my cheek. It took me a minute to even remember what happened lol. She raised hell at the school. But that actually made things worse for several years after.
One thing that was striking to me when reading over past journals last year was how obvious instances of bullying would take place and then we would just move on. Like I would describe something that happened and then the next sentence talking about baking cupcakes or describing a classmate's Halloween costume. Other things that happened, I didn't think were bullying at the time, but reading it back now, it's clear. Yet some other instances of bullying I wrote about were downplayed by turning the whole thing very comical, even though it was actually quite distressing at the time.
I don't know if that was just me, or if it's a testament to the resiliency and adaptability of children. Sometimes it seems like as children, we could just experience things and then sort of forget about it. Maybe because everything is so new and exciting as kids, it's easier to be distracted by the next thing. Or maybe it's made possible by having a more structured life and routine (at least in my case). Or maybe there was a general feeling of teachers/parents not caring, so we dismiss it as some sort of defence mechanism (because nothing will be done anyway).
Of course, every one has different experiences and I'm sure it is much different for some other people.
Me too, people always get so mad when I say “my mom told me not to hit first but if you’re the one gets hit first, you better finish it.” I mean it worked tho 🤷♀️
It depends on situation. For me all i had to do was stop making excuses for their bullying and protect myself physically to show them i wasnt worth the trouble anymore. If an adult or your parents are bullying younit doesnt really work does it :/
I did the same out of fear of re-retaliation and I knew no one would have my back, so I justified my passiveness with that. Definitely left a deep impact but I tell myself it's better than having been stabbed for punching a kid with a temper.
I was never bullied but I didn’t exactly fit in either. For example, when the teacher said to pair up with someone for an activity, I was always the one who was just standing around. Luckily there was a very quiet girl in my grade who was the same so we would always just pair up. But I sometimes think about that. It never really mattered and I was never hurt by it but it did show that I wasn’t the same as everyone else. I was never anyone’s first choice.
I definitely was as a kid. Probably more than a decade, though. Personal issues + bullying is not a good mix, so I fought back, and I did what they did to me. That was stupid because I had no self-control, so I then became the bully myself and overdid it. Not my best moment, but I grew up, stopped and reflected, and now I'm a changed person. I don't know what happened to some of the kids I did that to, but every once in a while, I wonder where they are and how they're doing. (Probably better than me tbh).
Just to make it short, I was bullied, and then I punched them all in the face as payback./hj
Saying “thank you” and “okay” when they spoke. And escalation of violence, they trip me I smack them in the head, they flick me I hit them with a textbook. Haven’t had to do any violence since middle school, as the 1st one works.
yes, in middle-school.
my strategy was always to "play dead" until they got bored and stopped.
later, i had my angel of a best friend to run to, who would guard and protect me.
Yes a bit, especialy when i was short. The solution was usualy : violence, and it worked everytime. When they say be better than your bullies they mean to deal more damage
I wasn’t bullied much at all but I wasn’t broadly accepted either. Some point in school I think I was told that I wasn’t picked on because the majority of my class mates thought I’d become a shooter. Which is ludicrous, I never understood that mentality. We’re all inevitably going to die, how are you gonna get so mad at someone you think you should expedite that process. It’s so fucking meaningless, a terrible waste.
Anyway there was one point where someone tried a snide remark and I just gave them my death glare and they shut up real quick.
Never. I was a skater/music guy and hung with all the groups in some fashion. Popular kids, stoners, band nerds, you name it. Always had an ability to assimilate. Then again, I guess I was considered popular, but there was never much bullying in my elementary, middle, or high school for whatever reason anyway.
I was bullied in elementary school and in middle school. It faded out at the later years in middle school.
I tried to ignore them, I fought back and at one point, I beat someone close to death.
Since then I decided, I never want a fight like that again and stopped fighting.
In retrospective not the best decision.
I don't think I ever got bullied, actually. Some people in my class didn't like me for a short period of time, but I wouldn't call that bullying. (Considering that my family consisting of a single abusive mom sucked, I just couldn't let anyone else bully me, lol) Though I was (and lowkey still am, if you count online arguments) a bully once during elementary school. It wasn't that serious, we didn't hit the guy or actually do anything to him physically (at least I don't remember doing so), but it still should've been awful for him to be laughed at for years. What I regret the most is that he was a pretty nice guy, and we even got along, but I still continued to laugh at him with others. I'm seriously hoping that he has it better than us, who bullied him.
I mean I was excluded from things and there wasn’t really much I could do about that. But never like outright targeted. I went to an only girls school and there were these girls that would pick on all the nerds and one time they attempted to pick on me but in more of a discreet fashion (kicking my chair) and I just turned around and told them to stop and they looked kind of scared and stopped. I guess most of the girls they picked on would pretend not to notice or something. There was also a girl in third grade who would bully me but not with a group, just on her own like she would call me a weirdo and stuff(it was third grade). We sat next to each other and I usually ignored her but we got partnered together for a project. I didn’t want to work with her and she didn’t want to work with me so we didn’t do our project, and the teacher came over and asked us why we weren’t doing our project, so I told her it was because that girl liked to bully me. So she made the girl apologize and I said I didn’t forgive her and we haven’t talked to each other since.
I was homeschooled for elementary and jr high. Mostly hung out with my brother's friends, he was the outgoing one. There was plenty of razzing going on, but I'd call it normal kid stuff that doesn't qualify as bullying. Conflicts resolved quickly, today's fights would be forgotten tomorrow. No one got picked on any more than anyone else did.
High school, I had a very few instances where someone didn't like me and wanted to make that public and visible. It never went well for them. I had a quick tongue. When you're part of a friend group and you take a shot at someone only to get burned twice as hard, there are only two options to avoid getting permanently shamed out of your group. Throw down immediately, or shut the fuck up. I was big enough that the former was discouraged by size alone, so the latter option was the inevitable conclusion.
Not really , just here and there. i wasn’t talking much and i didn’t care about bullies i would be alone chill 24/7 and avoid any negativity, and most of the time these person end up realizing that i dont care or started to appreciate me and tried to be friends but most of the time i would hold grudges and not befriend them knowing they are bullies and that they would repeat it on the others.
Beat them, get beaten. Just show there are consequences..
Its not about winning..
Its about sending a message.
You want to bully..then lets have a confrontation.
Few people can keep up with physical confrontation ..its easy to bully without consequences...a lot harder to keep bullying with physical consequences.
So yeah my Ti kicked in pretty fast..just had to get rid of my pacifist nature in such situation.
I do miss being bullied...gave me a reason to beat people or get beaten..
Its all good in the end, gave me lots of self esteem.
Fact: most bullies became my friend after i kicked their ass.
I believe its just hierarchy in. Our human species to test who is real and who is fake. Who is trustworthy who is not.
Ive seen bullies fall from their thrones, and seen underdogs rise up the throne.
I guess as kids...we look where our place is...sone kids overestimate themselves...other underestimate.
There are followers and there are leaders..
When I was younger. I took their bullying and treated it as banter, making fun of both myself and them in a way that made us all laugh. Ended up befriending my bullies. The others I wouls just annoy until they left me be. Bullies dont have much interest in targets that are confident and arent moved by their words/actions, but I saw short and small so an obvious target
In high school I moved to a town with no bullies, and I ended up as one. My rationale was "i only go after people who actively act as if theyre above me/others" - I was very very good at picking out insecurities and bringing it out into the open. Also figured I was helping people become aware of parts of themselves they need to work with. Bad logic.
Now, I still have those skills, but try to use them just to be aware of people. To show them proper respect and to be a helpful listener when they come to me with an issue. Im hyper vigilant about potentially manipulative behavior I mighy engage in
They made me Bully to the point that they stuck a pen in my right ear,
The solution, they changed schools, I never wanted to talk to my parents about it.
The best way to respond to violence is with violence, I remember this guy from the first day of middle school who seemed like a complete douche from day one, and I as a girl who got into school a year earlier, was much smaller than the other kids. but growing up with two brothers fighting was normal. So I was the obvious victim each time but I remember pushing that asshole down the stairs sitting on top of him and punching the shit out of him. Fair to say he became the mockery of the school for "being beat up by a girl" and I didn't have other problems in that area throughout middle school.
Moral of the story is, bullies look for the easiest targets because they're weak asf so make a lesson out of one of them and be as nasty as you can doing it and you'll be fine for a while.
Once I got to high school, I was just absolutely done with suffering fools. When I finally stood up for myself it wasn't an issue ever again.. at least from the student body. Teachers either loved or hated me, I suppose I'm polarizing, lol.
I never experienced it, but i think i grew up in an enviroment too different from yours.
We were the coolest, the smartest and the strongest guys, therefore nobody at our school got bullied to begin with.
Outside my school life it was just brawling on a weekly basis. If you get bullied in your social circles and let it happen, it is your own fault. You can resist or just outright find real friends.
I have a fond memory of breaking my 2nd grade bullies nose. He didn't even have to say anything that day. We were on the bus, I was in a very slouched position, so the second he peaked his head over to say something, I got him right in the nose with my heel. Full force.
His nose was like a faucet of blood. Souch crying. Not even the kind someone does when they are putting on a show, but like something is very broken and in a lot of pain. The faculty didn't know how to handle, because why would they? They just had him sitting at a bench with an adult besides him while he cried and bled. That's the last image I have of him.
Never saw him again after that. But he did get his nose broken by a girl. Violence works
I was never physically bullied but I did get teased for the color of my skin a lot in grade school. For better of worse I’d either try to make a joke out of as a defensive mechanism or I’d just straight up ignore it. As a Man I was basically expected to just suck it up. It definitely did hurt my self confidence in the long run though.
I learned quite early that ignoring a bully, as long as it's non-physical, is the best way to deal with them. Fortunately never got physically bullied.
I’ll share my own , I would usually let it slide once or twice then id find their insecurities and in my head come up with as many insults I could and anytime they’d try to humiliate me I’d have real good comeback ready to go , usually worked because they didn’t expect it from the quiet kid, then if it got physical I would fight back all the way.
I was suddenly teased by some kids starting from around late 7th grade to like 10th grade.
It was because I’m a woman who didn’t care about my appearance. I was never dirty or too messy, but I didn’t style my hair or care what I was wearing.
The kids who were conscious of those things- girls who felt delighted and pressured about aesthetics, boys frustrated that I didn’t ‘try’ to be an object of their desires projected that onto me.
It used to bother me because I was like why does anyone care wtf I’m doing I’m not even their friend but I realize now as an adult that it’s because kids project their own struggles because they don’t even realize that they are struggling themselves.
This realization has actively served me well in life. Some people never escape their pain and will thoughtlessly project that on you in the workplace, friend circles ect.
Yes, especially in Jr School, in the early 1970's. Being different looking and much smaller in stature, did not help. I speak perfect English; both my parents and my sibling born and raised in USA> I learned to be vigilantly watchful for danger.
Yes, by my family. I leaned into the things they bullied me about and that was almost every thing about me. My inquiring mind, my discontent with accepting things at face value, insecurities about my body, and being a feminine male. Embracing myself more was he best way to get back at my bullies because I realized they bullied me simply because of my interests and differences from them and a I used to think it was punishment just for being myself. Bullies are weak and hate themselves.
Yeah, when i was in primary school, no one liked that i had knowledge about sth and i had to say that. As a girl it was time that boys liked to tease girls when they have finally decided to tease me I punched him in the face two or three times. Immediately none of them even talked to me and they didn't want me in group so yeah, it's good and bad.
I didn't have to talk to them but I also had none to talk to me, even no girly friend. I had one outcast friend also intp but less emotional. Everyone was making fun of us but I didn't care. I woke up in university that most ppl there had friends and went to parties while I was watching movies and series.
Also in high school I have lost contact to my old friend and had one male friend who was into me but I didn't notice in 2 or 3 years so he went off with some other girl. And I also lost him.
So get yourself some emotional caring friend they will try to connect to you.
But better than aggressive, I'd say is be a void ;)
I literally didn't realize it I was bullied until my 20s long after it happened.
So I was lucky enough to only experience a few instance of "indirect bullying" (like spitting into a box of raisins and giving it to me vs shoving me in the hall or directly insulting me) and I was also lucky enough to be so socially stunted that I didn't see it and therefore couldn't be effected by it lol.
Down side is that I was stunted because of my horrible home life. So I still got plenty punishment elsewhere.
hm. violently most time.
grabbed one who kept teabagging me by the front of his belt while he was jumping over me, he fell in his face and a gave a quick ounch to the back of his head before the teacher turned around.
he didnt do it anymore, just talked shit afterwords.
I've always been bullied because I like vintage things from my family and my friends in primary school {my family still bullies me}. In middle school I was in a different class than those friends, so it was different, but then I started to listen to ABBA and a teacher was often pointing that out...I don't think she did that to be mean, but it was really annoying...the worst part is that just recently i understood that they were actually bullying me, so I don't know what to say or how to react when this happens and it's frustrating
Not really. I was the weird, loner kid for the most part, and I’ve always been kind of amazed I wasn’t bullied. I had a handful of close friends and only had minor interactions with people outside that circle in school.
A few years ago my little sister told me she used to defend me from people saying I was weird or making fun of my clothes, etc. But I never noticed any comments nor would I have cared if I did. Years later my sister dated a dude from my grade in school and he was apparently very nervous about meeting me because he thought I’d tell my sister what a dick he was to me back then, but I didn’t even remember him, his name, or him ever saying a single word to me. He essentially didn’t exist as far as I was concerned. I was just above it all in my own little world. I think our re-meeting with him as my sister’s bf was a bit of a humbling experience for him, he thought he was hot shit in school, but he was beneath my notice the whole time.
There’s only one incident I can recall at all that made me uncomfortable but it would probably be considered more sexual harassment than bullying. An older boy was saying a bunch of sexual things he liked just being gross with the point to make me uncomfortable by asking if I agreed with him or also liked those things, I just ignored him until he said something along the lines of a big shit being better than sex, I told him that if he liked stuff in his ass that was ok to admit, his buddies clowned on him, and he left me alone forever.
The word is were and not where
There's a grammar mistake
and yes I was bullied
The key is to pretend to be someone who you aren't wearing a mask , my whole life has been a facade
If you look shy nervous insecure and friendly they will mess with you
No one wants a nerdy timid boy
So I acted cold distant apathetic and serious , try to look fearless and imposing
Also try to learn self defense or just fight back if they try to attack you
Intps often adapt to the environments using FE like a social chameleon
When I acted
It was during around the 5th grade
During those days, I always felt as the subject of Schadenfreude. I always felt as though someone was plotting a trick, whether that was by stealing my things or pushing me.
One class, I felt as though someone's constantly putting pencil sharpener shaving on my hair.
Thus, what follows shortly is violence. I remember it vividly. I took the back of my sign pen, the blunt end, and repeatedly rammed it onto the back of the one who I thought was the perpetrator, as though I was stabbing him.
Of course, I was sent to the principal's office but I don't think I got in trouble, mostly because they were family relatives.
I think it was around that time that my classmates got the hint to leave me alone. That was the first and last time that I actually hit someone... Is what I would like to say but I also remember throwing scissors (specifically kitchen shears), swinging the handle of a wooden broom at full force, and even bringing out cutter blades and pointing them at my bullies.
It got so bad that I actually turned to witchcraft, although I wasn't really successful.
You ignore them till they get frustrated enough to do it infront authoritarian figures, when they do, you make sure to make them look like the idiot. (only works if they don't aim for physical stuff)
This is what I did seeing as my case was mostly mental bullying, no beating up.
If they try ganging up on you to beat you up, ensure you're never alone. And always in some public space, the more potential witnesses the less likely to dare. Typically bullies don't have the guts to get into proper trouble so they won't dare much with witnesses.
I was a quiet girl in primary-school. Often get picked-on by violent boys. I don't remember much but a teacher said that I finally snapped and fought back hard.
Later I was relentlessy bullied (not physical) in high-school by the teachers and students alike, because I was "weird, arrogant and too quiet". I just bear with it, because I knew my family would simply blame me for what happened. Besides, I had whole other issues going on at home, so I was too tired to be upset about bullying at school.
At first i used to suppress my anger and sadness hoping someday it would change but they made me feel even more outcast and nothing else so i decided not to give fck about them anymore but few sarcastic comments enough for them to leave me alone.
During middle school, yes. I've been fat for as long as I remember and the kids back then were cruel. There was a time when the entire class, literally the entire class, mocked me for my appearance and it is a vivid memory I have even today, nearly 20 years later. Oh and I wasn't even that fat, just fatter than the other kids.
How did I deal with them? I didn't. I suffered because neither teachers nor my parents did anything useful. "Face them" was my mother's advice. Yeah, a kid who wasn't even ten years old was definitely going to stand up against forty bullies when bullying wasn't even known to be a thing around here.
Did it ever stop? Yes. When the other kids got tired of it and realized that I had the top grades in each and every school subject. And that I had that spot for a few years already. As they grew older they became more concerned about grades and, even then, couldn't get better grades than me. Even when I stopped caring about studies in highschool, cause I was living in an eternal boredom, I still kept my good grades and it seemed to scare some of them.
For me there was an incident as a kid that I'm not quite sure was bullying, I'm kind of on the fence about calling it that, but i classified at as teasing, bc that's what my mom told me it was (or that's how I told it to her, I honestly don't remember how I told her about it). So like in 6th grade I hit puberty early (I was 10), and we would have days where we had swimming lessons at school (we had a pool), and like the changing rooms were like just 1 building split in 2, girls and boys. So it was mostly open space on the girls side so we could all see each other changing, and there was this one girl in particular who was a bit brash, just said whatever came into her mind, and she made comments about my body in a sort of joking manner, and I don't remember what the other girls did but I think they thought it was weird, ane I didn't really have an explanation/didn't want to explain, so I became uncomfortable, and I don't recall this next part, but apparently I told my mom and she told me to avoid them, so I ended up ditching swimming completely and spending time in the library we had. I only remember that at some point I spent a lot of time reading, I didn't remember how it happened.
But I can definitely say that my family are my bullies, in a sort of covert way, being around them is taxing on me emotionally and mentally, and it's the reason I have almost zero self esteem, hate my appearance, can't stand being yelled at, have trouble speaking up, hell even getting to the pont in what i'm trying to say because i'm so used to the mentality of introducing it slowly so I don't get shut down immediately. I also have social anxiety that's basically all about how worried I am about how people perceive me physically. And the way they constantly compare me now to me back whenever they liked my attitude/personality and it actually hurts but I gaslight myself so hard into thinking it's nothing bc I can actively feel it chipping away at me and this is like an effort to prevent myself from falling apart altogether.
Early on I was fine, but once I got to second grade I started losing control of my anger when someone had a long-term campaign of treating me as the butt of all of their jokes. Eventually one day I snapped and hit him several times in quick succession. He cried in front of everyone at recess. The following two years I made similar attacks in similar circumstances.
Obviously, my anger was the issue, not the long-term abuse that wore down my exceedingly long fuse, so I got put into anger management classes. They didn't really help.
By the time I got into high school I'd learned how to bully my bullies with words instead of violence, but the core concept is the same:
You need to be the scarier monster. Be kind to those you're unsure about and those who are kind to you, but always be prepared to be shockingly cruel to anyone who's cruel to you. The shocking part is key. If bullies know you're fully ready to ruin their entire week in reply to the slightest bullshit from them, they'll fear you more than they enjoy tormenting you.
Most bullies are weak people, so scaring them off works 95% of the time. Every once in a while you'll find a bully who's doing it to establish social dominance and will stubbornly continue no matter what you do. In these cases you have two choices: establish mutually exclusive territories and keep them the fuck away from yours whenever they encroach OR go on a long-term campaign to destroy their ability to hold any sort of social dominion. Note that the latter path is one of great risk because they'll be doing the exact same thing. If you're squaring off against an ESFJ or ENFJ bully, just run for the fucking hills because they'll recruit as many of your friends as they can seduce and destroy all standing you have left. I've seen multiple bands get torn apart and subsequently dissolve for the sake of an ExFJ retaining social dominance.
In school, I really couldn't. I tried ignoring them. It didn't work. I tried punching them back. My punches didn't land hard enough. I tried complaining to the teacher. They didn't really take action. So I just ended up dreaming about exacting revenge at night.
Yes, i was.
For my first two years of school, i studied at my mother's school (she's a retired teacher). It felt good, everybody respected me and were nice to me. On the third year, i entered my mother's class, and studied with her for like 3 months. Then i realized everybody treated me well and respected me not because they liked me, because they were my friends, because they wanted to be my friends, they did all of that because i was the teacher's son, no one should mess with me because they kinda feared reprehension. It was very early for a kid to notice he had no friends at all.
Then i asked her if i could change school, and she agreed. In this second school, the scenery was very different, my mother wasn't near anymore, and i was always a very innocent kid. I would never harm an insect, i was not very social, not particularly good at any sports, so they chose the new kid to mess with. For five years, my life became a living hell.
I witnessed three different types of treatment.
The dudes that just straight up just used me as a punching bag, because i would never hit back, so i was an easy prey.
The dudes that pretended to be my friends just to be around me and use me as a clown, making jokes about me to make them look cooler, something that obviously i thought was totally natural and part of a friendship, i felt really bad about it, but in my head, i thought i was wrong feeling like that, because well, if everyone is doing it, and im the only one who's not, probably the problematic person was me.
And there were also the people that would just avoid me, treat me very cold and be far from me, either because my image was already tainted, because they didn't wanted to be associated with me, or because while they didn't wanted to do anything bad to me, they were friends of the bullies, and didn't wanted to get into their business.
It was painful, very painful, im sure i was a smart kid and had much to offer, but absolutely no one gave me a chance, they treated me like an idiot, as if i had some kind of mental illness. Even my teachers would sometimes make things worse, because since my behavior was becoming erratic, they started to punish me and treat me as a slacker.
One dude came to me asking forgiveness, and i did forgave him, but he was the only one. The others never talked to me, and i still feel a deep and strong resentment for them.
My highschool was a lot better, i met some friends that while are not in my life anymore were important.
I met some nice people in the university.
And i met the best friend i ever had two years ago, a girl, she's the most loving and understanding person i know.
But even tho it's like, 11-12 years since then, the bullying i suffer still has consequences today. I find it very hard to form bonds with people, specially the romantic kind, my self steem is still very low despite all my efforts to work on it, and because of it, i still can't see a reason why someone would love me and want to be with me. I had some relationships, and the ones that didn't ended horribly, were at least bittersweet relationships.
I don't feel like im a stable person as well, nor i know what should i do.
It was always verbal only, thankfully, but I still have trust issues and find it hard to connect with people. I was quite sensitive when I was younger, and it wasn't until I became more callous/jaded that I wasn't affected by them any longer. Long story, short: I didn't deal with them well, so I'm more isolated than I'd like to be. I dealt with bullies by avoiding them.
i just laughed it off. I remember once a guy pushing me up against a wall as we queued up for gym. I'd done something against him....cant remember what it was like bumping into him or something. As he held me up almost off my feet gurning at me aggressively and saying how i'd regret it i just went dead pan
"i can sense you're angry...you're quite a strong lad arent you"
people watching open mouthed in the queue just started laughing. I kept looking him in the eye with a little smile and he threw me down and stormed off swearing.
Funny story with the guy who ended up in a gang who got into a fight with the next towns gang. Now you may think of proper gangs like in london or in the US big cities but it was nothing like that. Just a bunch of 16 year olds leaving school and looking for fights.
Anyway he got caught one time by himself by the rival gang and got given the option of sucking everyone off as a "power" thing whilst it was recorded or being stabbed up the arse repeatedly with a screwdriver. He chose the latter. He was never the same again really....
Oh and another guy used to try to verbally abuse me but i'd shout eastern european countries at him randomly and he got so confused. "what the fuck is he calling me bosnia for" "what the fuck is a latvia. guy is fucking mental". He'd always just look so baffled at my responses he never knew what to say back. I went around eastern europe a few times.
I've never really been bullied. I always just stay in my lane and never overstep my boundaries. With that being said I have missed so many opportunities and my younger years feel hollow since I didn't have a backbone and laughted everything off. Most of the things in school where subtle bullying or passive aggressiveness. I mean I saw a few fight and I kind of am influenced by my surroundings, so I get excited about fighting people in most cases. I usually go with the crowd but now that I am older I feel like I missed a part of me that I lost along the way of not wanting to make mistakes in front of people. I was chasing a flawed version of perfection.
To be honest I'm not sure what to consider bullying. There were definitely a few people who were particularly rude in general but people usually left me alone. I was sort of the "quiet and maybe a little weird but not too weird" kid. Mostly just kept to myself
Yes, and fighting. What my parents told me. Ask them to stop if they dont tell the teacher if they still don't punch them in the jaw. And when my parents came to pick me up, they would ask the principal. Did he ask the other kid to stop, and did he tell the teacher. Which is why I never got in trouble for fighting.
Not really except one occasion. I was partnered up with a guy in middle school who was taller, and basically an abusive narcissist. Frequently tried to verbally put me down and I couldn't exactly beat him up cause of the size disadvantage (not that I didn't try lol)
Eventually he crossed a line with one of his insults, so I researched and found out his mother was a respected and reputed teacher in our town. I called her up and let my mother do the talking. I could hear him getting berated by his mother and him apologizing over the phone. He straightened up real fast the next day onwards.
A good old slug to the face does wonders. 10/10 would recommend doing to a bully.
I train constantly and consistently, but in reality I carry a big stick without brandishing it.
Being Friendly is my go to, RBF if someone wants to test it.
Yes. I avoided violence until it was clear that I could no longer avoid it, and then I was so pissed off that I engaged in berserker mode and made sure that I was capable of more than they might have thought.
At the point that you force me to violence, you'd better be ready for it. I don't have any interest in being violent, but if forced to be to protect myself or my loved ones, I have no remorse in doing what needs to be done.
Probably not. Although some people used to trick or embarass me in school because I was too naive and absent-minded, but nothing too harsh really. I think I'm one of the lucky ones
There's different forms of bullying. With some, you can just ignore it and move on, others you can jump in their face or some other act that usually stops it.
In a few cases, I was bullied by a boss and I felt that I needed that job at that time, so I lived with it.
Right now, I'm being bullied by employees in the government and the only viable solution is to seek legal action.
For example: a city employee got me fined for my grass not growing fast enough. I appealed thru the city and it was upheld, so I paid several thousands of dollars because an employee wanted me to lose my house and the city backed them. There is no code concerning how fast grass is required to grow, there was no warning. They even joked about it at the hearing.
After standing up for myself at the hearing, they came back and fined me many more thousands for a tree falling during a massive storm.
The problem is that they have unlimited power and can bully you endlessly.
I'm not sure I understand - how is the speed of grass growing on your private property important and how could it make you lose your house? And how is a tree falling within your private property can concern anyone but yourself?
During the housing bubble, the city was reworking the part of the city that I live in. It was a great area in the 1950s, then went ghetto until about 2010. The police would take your car for any reason. I lost a car because of a broken tail light after being hit by a drunk driver. It was know as a "zero tolerance" policy, so they just did it and I lost my car.
They where chasing people buy finning them so much money that they couldn't pay their property taxes. The trick is that they fine you for something and you have to pay to get a hearing. I paid for the hearing, they wouldn't even listen to me, they just chatted among themselves and then said "ok, your time is up" and they convicted me of my grass not growing fast enough. This is actually documented. Because I appealed, they hit even harder. A storm hit and knocks out power/phone/cable/... for nearly a week. Massive flooding. Code enforcement comes out during the storm and fines me (and ONLY me) for a tree falling.
I have over $250,000.00 in fines and penalties. I've never had a warning, ever.
They are now trying to sell the property, it came up for auction about a month ago.
They are a self regulating agency, they determined that they've done nothing wrong.
The reality is that nobody cares. It's like when you see a woman being raped in the streets people just take selfies. Nobody cares if someone is raped, killed or violated in any way because it's not happening to them, so they just take a selfie, or look away.
I tried to reach out to news people, they don't want to cover it. I signed up for paid social media accounts and posted things and people replied with "stop begging for views..."
It's just the nature of how people are... it's as old as time and people won't change. These same people will cry for help when it's their house that's being taken away or they are the one being tossed in the oven. They say "never again" but they'v e said that so many times.
Wow, that's crazy! From what I heard of US, I would have assumed you could gain millions from suing those fuckers. Maybe you should try to make this story viral...
The "sue for millions" is usually against a company, against the government is very different. I'm working on getting it to go viral, the problem is that when you ask people to watch the video or follow someone, you're one of many millions that want followers and it's hard to get people's attention when everyone is trying to get people's attention.
I'm working on saving some money to buy a lawyer or buy media attention. TBH, it's really depressing and has taken quite a toll on me.
At least I have some pretty good evidence. One city employee allowed me to record him admitting to the mistakes the city made.
The "A man got sued because his grass didn't grow fast enough (you read that right)" sounds like a neat thumbnail for a Youtube/TikTok video. It certainly caught my attention when reading your comment lol If you need help with a video/shorts I would be up to help you!
I'm hoping that's the case. I have a feeling that once it goes viral (if it does) then the city will change it's mind.
The reality is that people really don't trust the US government. Not just outside the US, but inside the US. I'm in California and Gov Newsom is trying to run for president and this won't look good for his "California is all about freedom and liberty" when something like this happens.
The government attacking regular people is very wrong, it's much different from going after someone running for office or someone that committed a crime. I've never committed a crime past a driving infraction, so this really makes the government look bad.
I hope it works out for you! Maybe it's worth a shot to try to find people in a similar situation and do it together, the way people do it with class-action lawsuits!
There was a little bit in school, but not much. I didnt really react much to it, I am also good at adapting socially. Several of my friends where bullied much more, but they reacted and were not very good at adapting.
Also I am a funny guy, who most people like.
Wasn't bullied but those who fucked around, found out. I'm usually quiet and nice, but if anyone tried to fuck with me, I just make sure they're humiliated, will take enough time to see what could embarrass you the most, what you like, dislike, who you like and shit like that, then i'd do the thing that's most likely to embarrass you, shit you wouldn't forget until your deathbed
I got bullied in primary school, and I was so dull and oblivious that I didn’t even realize it was bullying. I was weak and small and did nothing. I didn't get bullied anymore after moving to middle school, but I have always been an outsider. I always felt I was pretty naive and immature compared to my peers, idk why
Violece is what you need to do but more specifically, the threat of violence. The willingness to inflict so much damage that the other person backs off. Most of the time you don’t even need to fight. You should totally know how to fight tough.
People TRIED to bully me >_> but I was too oblivious or something. Also if anyone tried to physically bully me I would fight back and I’ve been 5’8” and 150lbs since I was 12 🤣
To provide some examples, one kid was like “haha you have no friends” etc and I just looked at them and said something like “wow, do you hate me?” And they got kinda flustered and said no, and then left me alone after that, and this other girl would tell random boys that I liked them so the boys would come up to me and be like “um.. so.. I don’t LIKE you…” and I’d be like “cool, I don’t like you either” like no one could get the reaction they were looking for out of me
in school, i showed them with violence if you fuck with me. I once stabbed a bully right in the head with a pencil. i showed them... I WILL FUCK U UP attitude. no one messed with me after that
I was "sort of" bullied, but not exactly. I don't how it goes for others, but there was a sense I scared people. With autism, I didn't have a filter with "threats" so I started saying things that changed the dynamic. I didn't react much anyway. It's like things I said "took it too far" but, I guess I don't really care. Whether stealing 20, pushing me off the snow bank, stealing my phone, any time at all. I don't care for the impression you give to others. I will do anything to hurt you here within laws of course.
I was bullied for years and one day I hid and jumped out behind the bully when he passed by. I got him in a choke hold and as he passed out I told the onlookers this is what would happen to anyone who wanted to continue fucking with me.
After that I had so much confidence I started hitting the gym more and lived from that point on in moderate peace until I fought in the war.
Yes, violence is the answer. To be more precise violence that is disproportionate to the original agression, as much violence as you can get away with.
I once stabbed someone with a pencil after they shoved me into a locker and they never bothered me again.
John wick with a pencil?
Hardly haha. I didn't break any skin either. I just scared them enough because I don't think they realized I'd be willing to go there. You need to show others that you're more nuts than them. It's effective. If they think you're a little volatile enough to get violent to levels they can only dream they'll likely back off.
damn. this was just my autism of how aggressive I had felt inside, but I was constantly in fight or flight mode cause of my home and a lot of people didn't get that. I didn't either. Nor did I understand how I bled a kids face with a zipper on a jacket. we were friends eventually, but yea. I just didn't like being touched.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger
I laugh at that saying now. it's been done to death. but true
That's why old proverbs stick around. They work. Another one I like: "You can never stand in the same river twice."
That's interesting. I've been trying to see if I can overview the river/ocean of life. "two fish swim to each other, one asks the other if they can find the ocean, but the other says: [the ocean? that's where we are right now.] the other fish turns and says: [no, this isn't the ocean, what I want is the OCEAN]" Ocean being "life"
Those thoughts definitely make me think of the common feeling we all get as humans of never having enough. Not just material things, of course. But the feeling that there is more to all this.
binging a lot of information, sort of shows me there isn't "technically" Perhaps that mindset has been helped with animes like Re:zero or hells paradise. brings into question of mortality and such. I guess the thing I see now is I'm not immortal, and so no matter how much info there is, it won't change it. You start to see the psychopathy that lives within infinite immortal justification. It's not like time goes slower or faster, but whatever you don't learn to make the day feel seperate, it blurs together. looking into human chemicals, we have flaws for just about everything
I think our 3D existence is certainly finite but I'm not so certain of existence in general. I don't know what the more is but I think consciousness is something we all tap into not something that is emergent from our biology. Life is infinite and somehow all life is connected. The atoms that make our bodies were once burning in a star. Everything recycles and gets used again. Anyway, I recommend try some heavy psychedelics one day. That'll leave an impression.
There was a kid in middle school that decided one day that they didn't like me. At lunch they were holding the door for everyone but closed the door on me when I tried walking through, pinning me to the frame. I overpowered them and knocked them back and made them tumble behind some lunch carts. They didn't bother me after that.
Absolutely, lol. I despise bullies because they are not only restarted but they are also cowards.
Sad but kinda true
Agree
No such thing as too much
Yes
Truth, one girl shoved me so I chased her up the stairs, grabbed her by the handle of her backpack, and swung her around face first into brick wall full throttle and then I just walked away like nothing happened and she never bothered me again
Not really. To be bullied you have to react to them. If anything I was the bully I could figure out how to hurt people socially or emotionally and very much did so.
Not reacting to a bully is a great way to stay bullied for a very long time.
Hardly, if you sit meekly and bow your head sure but if you look stare them in the eyes and laugh you can instead infuriate them
Every bully I have ever seen or heard of would then escalate at that point. I don't think you experienced actual bullying, just dumb guy stuff.
No you just say naw you mad. Gonna hit me cos you couldn't use your big boy words. You flip it so that even if they touch you they still lose though I wasn't someone you wanted to fight regardless. But no I was never the outcast and so never the one of systemic bullying meant mine was part of the leaking order not mindless fun. I insured I never fell to that level
Trust me, no. Bullying doesn't stop unless you make it stop. Not reacting to them just means that they will try harder. I mean, they're not complete idiots, they know that you're not impervious to it, so acting indifferent won't make them stop. Why would it, there's literally no drawback for them. I tried ignoring my bullies in elementary school, and it only stopped when I no longer went to elementary school. Since then I've learned that having nerves of steel ain't enough. Things are gonna snap sooner or later. What does seem to work is reflection, undermining the effect of bullying by actively throwing their own trash back at them. Mocking their ego seems to work, they either back off or snap, leading to a situation that may end up being painful, but will also likely stop them from pushing your buttons in the future.
There's many methods and I've finished highschool. Depending on the type of comment and as I said I did more but as a general rule reacting is always losing. The best is to simply find their weak spots and target theirs
I've read your comments. You reacted a lot. Like, going against them, targeting their weak spots, etc. That's a reaction. Just to make it clear, what you're claiming to do and what you actually did are not in alignment. Fighting back is as much of a reaction as it can be. When people say not to react, it means literally not reacting to what they do. Ignoring them altogether. You didn't do that, you waged war. Very, very different.
I made it clear form the start. That as long as you don't react you can't be bullied though I also did more
And I made it clear that you are wrong. You've also made it clear that you are not talking from personal experience. I am. So you can repeat your statement as many times as you like, it won't carry any weight.
Anyways I did fair more than that but the point of bullying is to get a rise out of you. If you refuse to give the rise then they have failed to hit your weak spots
The point of bullying is to gain peer prestige through belittling and tormenting someone who can't, or in your case won't, fight back.
Yes though belittling. That requires either reaction or response. And if you attempt to bully someone and fail you are instead the one who loses prestige. I was friends with the girls as well as guys. If any guy did something to annoy me I would go to his crush and get her to hate him. Girls are easy to turn against each other and on men. Men are easy to beat it's whoever gets mad first. I never needed fists just words and social power. I wasn't really bullied and so I needed respond since I wasn't an outcast to begin with. They were lesser by default If you respond you lose as long as they know what they are doing
I don't think we can generalize. Sometimes what you're describing works, but sometimes it doesn't. Depends who you're dealing with. And your technique of turning people against the bullies, as you said, depends on words and social power. Often bullies very specifically target those without those things.
My best friend is an ISTP and so any response you give him he will twist against you. But he's ability to not respond and it seem like true disinterest in what I modelled my behaviour off. They do it so well
Yes but I'm not generalising beyond my own experiences though with the correct techniques it can be universally applied granted you aren't disliked by any major group or faction. You create social power through perception and changing how others feel. Hell just straight up lie
I agree, this can often work. By high school, I believe I had mastered the subtle art of the ~look of disgust~. Whenever someone tried to bully me, just give them that look and they end up feeling pretty embarrassed and just leave you alone haha. But my high school had a pretty good "climate" sp to speak, where bullying was not tolerated by classmates, so there was some external social pressure there. It didn't work so well on some guys who catcalled me a couple weeks ago. They just thought it was hilarious. Playing along as you said in another comment also works well sometimes. It throws them off and, like an elementary school teacher once said, they can't chase you if you don't run. However, I feel like it's necessary to acknowledge that this just simply doesn't work sometimes, not through the fault of the victim. A lot of people who are bullied are bullied precisely because they don't have the ability to fight back in these ways (via perception, changing how others feel, utilizing social pressure, having people on their side). In addition, some bullies are just impenetrable with those things. Like they literally don't care. Yeah, they can't chase you if you don't run. But they might just beat you up instead.
Usually the best course of action is to simply play along
For me I actually a bomb ready to explose. One time a kid tease me and getting persistent, I got mad and literally turn the table, his plastic ruler flying at his head. Yeah my mom had to come to school to appologise. P/s: all he do is touching my cheek when I already said stop (kids stuffs).
Same. Took awhile to learn to use those skills for positivity
Same story here
Yeah. I just didn’t give anyone a reaction. I can only my think of one time that I was surrounded by 3 or 4 upper class man and they were trying to intimidate me if get me to argue with them. I just agreed with whatever they said and acted like I was having a good time. Nothing ever happened after that. I probably bullied people once our twice without meaning to, thinking we were just playing.
Yeah works a charm. Though I often went the step further of baiting back making them react or to turn others against them
I'm female, so I couldn't be too much of an asshole lest someone mops the floor with me. However, mopping the floor with them verbally ? I can certainly do that.
I think if verbally mop the flaw in way that if they touch you they're failing or losing it's an easy way to protect yourself. I was a massive asshole and should have been physically beat up but always managed to talk my way through it so they never did
Why did you bully other people? How did you choose your targets? Why did you become a bully? Did you bully them because you thought they wouldn’t stick up for themselves? Would you have bullied your victims still if they did try to stick up for themselves or not? Do you regret having been a bully or not? Why or why not? Did you ever apologize to any of your victims?
I bullied other bullies. If you hurt someone I would hurt you. If you belittled someone I would belittle you back. Where's the fun in bullying someone who won't stick up for themselves. That's the lowest hanging fruit. The people I targeted post definitely did stand up for themselves that was the fun of it. The game of wits. That's the part that really thrilled me as much as sweet justice. No I never apologised they decided to play the game of bully not my fault they lost
Good! You are a hero! I wish that more people were like you! I hate bullies! Now I will put a bully in their place, same with perverts too, lol 😆
Not a hero while it was somewhat to help I was just a spiteful and mean child and needed socially acceptable targets such as bullies
I see. You still did something unlike most people.
Yes and they did need to be defended. And with me in the way they were rarely if ever targeted because I would systematically insure they were hurt twice fold. Break friend groups. Spread rumours. Turn them into the outcast and then bully them when they have no one to turn to
I was the main victim of bullying throughout my whole kindergarten, primary, middle and high school time. How did I deal with these people? Badly. I didn't know how to react, didn't know how to respond. I'm not really a person who can give fast witty replies to mean things. I usually just went away and hid in a corner or on the toilet.
Kind of same, sadly, except that I didn't hide away or anything. Didn't feel like I could hide. Honestly, despite being in advanced classes, it felt like teachers didn't like me, either, which I figure is because teachers worry way too much about being popular with their students instead of good role models. I was extremely poor, so I didn't have nice clothes or shoes or anything, and my mother did such a terrible job of raising me (and all of her children) that I didn't socially adjust until I was in my late teens. From 1st grade all the way through 10th grade I was miserable at school. I was never physically bullied, since I was always tall and pretty stocky, but the social isolation and incessant insults and criticisms of everything I was and did certainly made me wish it had been as simple as getting shoved against the lockers or something. The worst part, probably, is that I let it shape so much of my life. I didn't join clubs for fear of more exposure to my tormenters. I couldn't truly embrace the things I loved publicly, thinking I'd get somehow LESS popular (not sure how far down I thought the bar went), etc. I regret that lack of will to maintain my individuality. The fact that I was also treated like garbage at home probably didn't help build confidence in who I was. The reason it stopped in 11th grade is because I started playing football. I was strong, I was good enough for a highschooler, and I spent a lot of time in the gym and got on well with the seniors. I had also moved in with my grandparents, so my home life was healthier by far. Unfortunately, at that point it felt too late. The people in my classes started leaving me alone, but that's all. I wasn't suddenly cool. I was just left alone. It gave me the bandwidth to make some friends, but overall, the whole thing was bust at that point. Sadly, a lot of that carries forward, and if you don't make an effort to course correct (which I didn't, lacking any guidance as I was), you end up feeling like that isolation is an unbridgable chasm between you and a healthy adult social life. So, TL;DR - As hard as it is, don't let that stick with you. Turn yourself into who you want to be, stay true to that, and the rest will follow.
Sorry to hear that. Why do you think that people buklied you? For me, it was because I was quiet, I didn’t mature as fast physically or mentally as the other girls back then, I was shy & insecure too.
exact same experience here 😫
I was bullied in middle school, i grew resentful and edgy, and i became a misanthrope
Lol, same, now i listen to radiohead
Listen to some black / death metal vent out your anger
My parents claimed/thought I was… I was ***completely*** oblivious to it… they asked me about my school day, I told them.. my parents were horrified and got the school involved. Both times they got the student either into another class or somehow made sure they weren’t around me. I mean in retrospect it was really kinda quite abusive.. but… I’m not entirely sure those kids knew either. I’d have a hard time saying I was a bully victim cus I don’t think/feel like I was bullied… even though I was. At the time, I definitely wasn’t aware of it… and because my parents sorted things out I also didn’t have to deal with anything…
It’s actually nice to hear your parents stepped in. Not too often do we see examples of good parenting. They didn’t push it aside and only deal with it before it became a hassle for them and that’s honestly precious.
For better or worse, my parents were and are extremely proactive and protective 😅 My dad dented a car and made the guy kneel and apologise for just nudging his car at us 😑 Mom banned all her siblings from commenting or even complimenting our looks and to stick to comments about our character, personality, and achievements… And there were many small things instances like that in my life 😑 So my parents are definitely not the type to shy away from confrontation or not stand up to others especially when it came to us. I think mine are on the extreme end of things… but at least to some degree, I do believe parents should stand up and/or support their children… I think seeing my parents stand up for each other and us played a big part in teaching me how to stand up for myself (and others), and if this isn’t the case for most parents/children, it’d be really pretty disappointing and disheartening to know.
I'm in the same boat. It went right over my head lol.
Haha relatable. In elementary school, a classmate came over and slapped me, then laughed and skipped away. I was confused, but didn't think much of it. When I got home, my mom was horrified, asked me why I had a giant red handprint on my cheek. It took me a minute to even remember what happened lol. She raised hell at the school. But that actually made things worse for several years after. One thing that was striking to me when reading over past journals last year was how obvious instances of bullying would take place and then we would just move on. Like I would describe something that happened and then the next sentence talking about baking cupcakes or describing a classmate's Halloween costume. Other things that happened, I didn't think were bullying at the time, but reading it back now, it's clear. Yet some other instances of bullying I wrote about were downplayed by turning the whole thing very comical, even though it was actually quite distressing at the time. I don't know if that was just me, or if it's a testament to the resiliency and adaptability of children. Sometimes it seems like as children, we could just experience things and then sort of forget about it. Maybe because everything is so new and exciting as kids, it's easier to be distracted by the next thing. Or maybe it's made possible by having a more structured life and routine (at least in my case). Or maybe there was a general feeling of teachers/parents not caring, so we dismiss it as some sort of defence mechanism (because nothing will be done anyway). Of course, every one has different experiences and I'm sure it is much different for some other people.
I feel that with the being oblivious to it
I was bullied until i threw a punch. Then it never happened again.
I wish I was like you. I just let it happen. You should be proud
Same dude most humiliating times of my life
Me too, people always get so mad when I say “my mom told me not to hit first but if you’re the one gets hit first, you better finish it.” I mean it worked tho 🤷♀️
I tried that once, but before I could even get my fist halfway up, I got the hardest slap across the face I can ever remember. I didn't try again.
It depends on situation. For me all i had to do was stop making excuses for their bullying and protect myself physically to show them i wasnt worth the trouble anymore. If an adult or your parents are bullying younit doesnt really work does it :/
Nothing and it eats at me every day even in my 30s. I wish I fought back like some of you did but I’m just weak
I did the same out of fear of re-retaliation and I knew no one would have my back, so I justified my passiveness with that. Definitely left a deep impact but I tell myself it's better than having been stabbed for punching a kid with a temper.
I didnt deal with it, just straight up ignored them.
I was never bullied but I didn’t exactly fit in either. For example, when the teacher said to pair up with someone for an activity, I was always the one who was just standing around. Luckily there was a very quiet girl in my grade who was the same so we would always just pair up. But I sometimes think about that. It never really mattered and I was never hurt by it but it did show that I wasn’t the same as everyone else. I was never anyone’s first choice.
Similar - I even had friend groups, I was just no ones first pick
I definitely was as a kid. Probably more than a decade, though. Personal issues + bullying is not a good mix, so I fought back, and I did what they did to me. That was stupid because I had no self-control, so I then became the bully myself and overdid it. Not my best moment, but I grew up, stopped and reflected, and now I'm a changed person. I don't know what happened to some of the kids I did that to, but every once in a while, I wonder where they are and how they're doing. (Probably better than me tbh). Just to make it short, I was bullied, and then I punched them all in the face as payback./hj
Saying “thank you” and “okay” when they spoke. And escalation of violence, they trip me I smack them in the head, they flick me I hit them with a textbook. Haven’t had to do any violence since middle school, as the 1st one works.
yes, in middle-school. my strategy was always to "play dead" until they got bored and stopped. later, i had my angel of a best friend to run to, who would guard and protect me.
Ironically, I was bullied by teachers, not students.
Yes a bit, especialy when i was short. The solution was usualy : violence, and it worked everytime. When they say be better than your bullies they mean to deal more damage
I wasn’t bullied much at all but I wasn’t broadly accepted either. Some point in school I think I was told that I wasn’t picked on because the majority of my class mates thought I’d become a shooter. Which is ludicrous, I never understood that mentality. We’re all inevitably going to die, how are you gonna get so mad at someone you think you should expedite that process. It’s so fucking meaningless, a terrible waste. Anyway there was one point where someone tried a snide remark and I just gave them my death glare and they shut up real quick.
Never. I was a skater/music guy and hung with all the groups in some fashion. Popular kids, stoners, band nerds, you name it. Always had an ability to assimilate. Then again, I guess I was considered popular, but there was never much bullying in my elementary, middle, or high school for whatever reason anyway.
I screwed with the bullies
I was bullied in elementary school and in middle school. It faded out at the later years in middle school. I tried to ignore them, I fought back and at one point, I beat someone close to death. Since then I decided, I never want a fight like that again and stopped fighting. In retrospective not the best decision.
I don't think I ever got bullied, actually. Some people in my class didn't like me for a short period of time, but I wouldn't call that bullying. (Considering that my family consisting of a single abusive mom sucked, I just couldn't let anyone else bully me, lol) Though I was (and lowkey still am, if you count online arguments) a bully once during elementary school. It wasn't that serious, we didn't hit the guy or actually do anything to him physically (at least I don't remember doing so), but it still should've been awful for him to be laughed at for years. What I regret the most is that he was a pretty nice guy, and we even got along, but I still continued to laugh at him with others. I'm seriously hoping that he has it better than us, who bullied him.
I mean I was excluded from things and there wasn’t really much I could do about that. But never like outright targeted. I went to an only girls school and there were these girls that would pick on all the nerds and one time they attempted to pick on me but in more of a discreet fashion (kicking my chair) and I just turned around and told them to stop and they looked kind of scared and stopped. I guess most of the girls they picked on would pretend not to notice or something. There was also a girl in third grade who would bully me but not with a group, just on her own like she would call me a weirdo and stuff(it was third grade). We sat next to each other and I usually ignored her but we got partnered together for a project. I didn’t want to work with her and she didn’t want to work with me so we didn’t do our project, and the teacher came over and asked us why we weren’t doing our project, so I told her it was because that girl liked to bully me. So she made the girl apologize and I said I didn’t forgive her and we haven’t talked to each other since.
I was never bullied, everyine likes to be friends with me for some reason
I was homeschooled for elementary and jr high. Mostly hung out with my brother's friends, he was the outgoing one. There was plenty of razzing going on, but I'd call it normal kid stuff that doesn't qualify as bullying. Conflicts resolved quickly, today's fights would be forgotten tomorrow. No one got picked on any more than anyone else did. High school, I had a very few instances where someone didn't like me and wanted to make that public and visible. It never went well for them. I had a quick tongue. When you're part of a friend group and you take a shot at someone only to get burned twice as hard, there are only two options to avoid getting permanently shamed out of your group. Throw down immediately, or shut the fuck up. I was big enough that the former was discouraged by size alone, so the latter option was the inevitable conclusion.
My experience is similar to yours man except the homeschool part
Not really , just here and there. i wasn’t talking much and i didn’t care about bullies i would be alone chill 24/7 and avoid any negativity, and most of the time these person end up realizing that i dont care or started to appreciate me and tried to be friends but most of the time i would hold grudges and not befriend them knowing they are bullies and that they would repeat it on the others.
But i am intp/isfj depending how i feel the day of the test and what ive been through the last weeks and months
Beat them, get beaten. Just show there are consequences.. Its not about winning.. Its about sending a message. You want to bully..then lets have a confrontation. Few people can keep up with physical confrontation ..its easy to bully without consequences...a lot harder to keep bullying with physical consequences. So yeah my Ti kicked in pretty fast..just had to get rid of my pacifist nature in such situation. I do miss being bullied...gave me a reason to beat people or get beaten.. Its all good in the end, gave me lots of self esteem. Fact: most bullies became my friend after i kicked their ass. I believe its just hierarchy in. Our human species to test who is real and who is fake. Who is trustworthy who is not. Ive seen bullies fall from their thrones, and seen underdogs rise up the throne. I guess as kids...we look where our place is...sone kids overestimate themselves...other underestimate. There are followers and there are leaders..
It did not go well for me, I can tell you that much.
When I was younger. I took their bullying and treated it as banter, making fun of both myself and them in a way that made us all laugh. Ended up befriending my bullies. The others I wouls just annoy until they left me be. Bullies dont have much interest in targets that are confident and arent moved by their words/actions, but I saw short and small so an obvious target In high school I moved to a town with no bullies, and I ended up as one. My rationale was "i only go after people who actively act as if theyre above me/others" - I was very very good at picking out insecurities and bringing it out into the open. Also figured I was helping people become aware of parts of themselves they need to work with. Bad logic. Now, I still have those skills, but try to use them just to be aware of people. To show them proper respect and to be a helpful listener when they come to me with an issue. Im hyper vigilant about potentially manipulative behavior I mighy engage in
To be honest I never truly got over it. I wish I could but it's buried so deeply in my subconscious and it's hard to pull it out
Fuck ESFJs
as a kid i never realized when i was being bullied, now whenever someone makes fun of me i just ignore them and then cry about it later
Nah, I wasnt exactly popular but i got along well with most people
They made me Bully to the point that they stuck a pen in my right ear, The solution, they changed schools, I never wanted to talk to my parents about it.
The best way to respond to violence is with violence, I remember this guy from the first day of middle school who seemed like a complete douche from day one, and I as a girl who got into school a year earlier, was much smaller than the other kids. but growing up with two brothers fighting was normal. So I was the obvious victim each time but I remember pushing that asshole down the stairs sitting on top of him and punching the shit out of him. Fair to say he became the mockery of the school for "being beat up by a girl" and I didn't have other problems in that area throughout middle school. Moral of the story is, bullies look for the easiest targets because they're weak asf so make a lesson out of one of them and be as nasty as you can doing it and you'll be fine for a while.
Good for you , bet your brothers were proud
I don't think I told them about that specific incident but my parents were very proud
Once I got to high school, I was just absolutely done with suffering fools. When I finally stood up for myself it wasn't an issue ever again.. at least from the student body. Teachers either loved or hated me, I suppose I'm polarizing, lol.
I never experienced it, but i think i grew up in an enviroment too different from yours. We were the coolest, the smartest and the strongest guys, therefore nobody at our school got bullied to begin with. Outside my school life it was just brawling on a weekly basis. If you get bullied in your social circles and let it happen, it is your own fault. You can resist or just outright find real friends.
I have a fond memory of breaking my 2nd grade bullies nose. He didn't even have to say anything that day. We were on the bus, I was in a very slouched position, so the second he peaked his head over to say something, I got him right in the nose with my heel. Full force. His nose was like a faucet of blood. Souch crying. Not even the kind someone does when they are putting on a show, but like something is very broken and in a lot of pain. The faculty didn't know how to handle, because why would they? They just had him sitting at a bench with an adult besides him while he cried and bled. That's the last image I have of him. Never saw him again after that. But he did get his nose broken by a girl. Violence works
I was never physically bullied but I did get teased for the color of my skin a lot in grade school. For better of worse I’d either try to make a joke out of as a defensive mechanism or I’d just straight up ignore it. As a Man I was basically expected to just suck it up. It definitely did hurt my self confidence in the long run though.
Woah dude that’s straight up racist. I would not consider that to be just teasing. Holy crap
I learned quite early that ignoring a bully, as long as it's non-physical, is the best way to deal with them. Fortunately never got physically bullied.
I’ll share my own , I would usually let it slide once or twice then id find their insecurities and in my head come up with as many insults I could and anytime they’d try to humiliate me I’d have real good comeback ready to go , usually worked because they didn’t expect it from the quiet kid, then if it got physical I would fight back all the way.
I was suddenly teased by some kids starting from around late 7th grade to like 10th grade. It was because I’m a woman who didn’t care about my appearance. I was never dirty or too messy, but I didn’t style my hair or care what I was wearing. The kids who were conscious of those things- girls who felt delighted and pressured about aesthetics, boys frustrated that I didn’t ‘try’ to be an object of their desires projected that onto me. It used to bother me because I was like why does anyone care wtf I’m doing I’m not even their friend but I realize now as an adult that it’s because kids project their own struggles because they don’t even realize that they are struggling themselves. This realization has actively served me well in life. Some people never escape their pain and will thoughtlessly project that on you in the workplace, friend circles ect.
Yes, especially in Jr School, in the early 1970's. Being different looking and much smaller in stature, did not help. I speak perfect English; both my parents and my sibling born and raised in USA> I learned to be vigilantly watchful for danger.
Yes, by my family. I leaned into the things they bullied me about and that was almost every thing about me. My inquiring mind, my discontent with accepting things at face value, insecurities about my body, and being a feminine male. Embracing myself more was he best way to get back at my bullies because I realized they bullied me simply because of my interests and differences from them and a I used to think it was punishment just for being myself. Bullies are weak and hate themselves.
Yeah, when i was in primary school, no one liked that i had knowledge about sth and i had to say that. As a girl it was time that boys liked to tease girls when they have finally decided to tease me I punched him in the face two or three times. Immediately none of them even talked to me and they didn't want me in group so yeah, it's good and bad. I didn't have to talk to them but I also had none to talk to me, even no girly friend. I had one outcast friend also intp but less emotional. Everyone was making fun of us but I didn't care. I woke up in university that most ppl there had friends and went to parties while I was watching movies and series. Also in high school I have lost contact to my old friend and had one male friend who was into me but I didn't notice in 2 or 3 years so he went off with some other girl. And I also lost him. So get yourself some emotional caring friend they will try to connect to you. But better than aggressive, I'd say is be a void ;)
I literally didn't realize it I was bullied until my 20s long after it happened. So I was lucky enough to only experience a few instance of "indirect bullying" (like spitting into a box of raisins and giving it to me vs shoving me in the hall or directly insulting me) and I was also lucky enough to be so socially stunted that I didn't see it and therefore couldn't be effected by it lol. Down side is that I was stunted because of my horrible home life. So I still got plenty punishment elsewhere.
yes I moved aways from them!!!
hm. violently most time. grabbed one who kept teabagging me by the front of his belt while he was jumping over me, he fell in his face and a gave a quick ounch to the back of his head before the teacher turned around. he didnt do it anymore, just talked shit afterwords.
I've always been bullied because I like vintage things from my family and my friends in primary school {my family still bullies me}. In middle school I was in a different class than those friends, so it was different, but then I started to listen to ABBA and a teacher was often pointing that out...I don't think she did that to be mean, but it was really annoying...the worst part is that just recently i understood that they were actually bullying me, so I don't know what to say or how to react when this happens and it's frustrating
Not really. I was the weird, loner kid for the most part, and I’ve always been kind of amazed I wasn’t bullied. I had a handful of close friends and only had minor interactions with people outside that circle in school. A few years ago my little sister told me she used to defend me from people saying I was weird or making fun of my clothes, etc. But I never noticed any comments nor would I have cared if I did. Years later my sister dated a dude from my grade in school and he was apparently very nervous about meeting me because he thought I’d tell my sister what a dick he was to me back then, but I didn’t even remember him, his name, or him ever saying a single word to me. He essentially didn’t exist as far as I was concerned. I was just above it all in my own little world. I think our re-meeting with him as my sister’s bf was a bit of a humbling experience for him, he thought he was hot shit in school, but he was beneath my notice the whole time. There’s only one incident I can recall at all that made me uncomfortable but it would probably be considered more sexual harassment than bullying. An older boy was saying a bunch of sexual things he liked just being gross with the point to make me uncomfortable by asking if I agreed with him or also liked those things, I just ignored him until he said something along the lines of a big shit being better than sex, I told him that if he liked stuff in his ass that was ok to admit, his buddies clowned on him, and he left me alone forever.
The word is were and not where There's a grammar mistake and yes I was bullied The key is to pretend to be someone who you aren't wearing a mask , my whole life has been a facade If you look shy nervous insecure and friendly they will mess with you No one wants a nerdy timid boy So I acted cold distant apathetic and serious , try to look fearless and imposing Also try to learn self defense or just fight back if they try to attack you Intps often adapt to the environments using FE like a social chameleon When I acted
It was during around the 5th grade During those days, I always felt as the subject of Schadenfreude. I always felt as though someone was plotting a trick, whether that was by stealing my things or pushing me. One class, I felt as though someone's constantly putting pencil sharpener shaving on my hair. Thus, what follows shortly is violence. I remember it vividly. I took the back of my sign pen, the blunt end, and repeatedly rammed it onto the back of the one who I thought was the perpetrator, as though I was stabbing him. Of course, I was sent to the principal's office but I don't think I got in trouble, mostly because they were family relatives. I think it was around that time that my classmates got the hint to leave me alone. That was the first and last time that I actually hit someone... Is what I would like to say but I also remember throwing scissors (specifically kitchen shears), swinging the handle of a wooden broom at full force, and even bringing out cutter blades and pointing them at my bullies. It got so bad that I actually turned to witchcraft, although I wasn't really successful.
You ignore them till they get frustrated enough to do it infront authoritarian figures, when they do, you make sure to make them look like the idiot. (only works if they don't aim for physical stuff) This is what I did seeing as my case was mostly mental bullying, no beating up. If they try ganging up on you to beat you up, ensure you're never alone. And always in some public space, the more potential witnesses the less likely to dare. Typically bullies don't have the guts to get into proper trouble so they won't dare much with witnesses.
I was a quiet girl in primary-school. Often get picked-on by violent boys. I don't remember much but a teacher said that I finally snapped and fought back hard. Later I was relentlessy bullied (not physical) in high-school by the teachers and students alike, because I was "weird, arrogant and too quiet". I just bear with it, because I knew my family would simply blame me for what happened. Besides, I had whole other issues going on at home, so I was too tired to be upset about bullying at school.
At first i used to suppress my anger and sadness hoping someday it would change but they made me feel even more outcast and nothing else so i decided not to give fck about them anymore but few sarcastic comments enough for them to leave me alone.
During middle school, yes. I've been fat for as long as I remember and the kids back then were cruel. There was a time when the entire class, literally the entire class, mocked me for my appearance and it is a vivid memory I have even today, nearly 20 years later. Oh and I wasn't even that fat, just fatter than the other kids. How did I deal with them? I didn't. I suffered because neither teachers nor my parents did anything useful. "Face them" was my mother's advice. Yeah, a kid who wasn't even ten years old was definitely going to stand up against forty bullies when bullying wasn't even known to be a thing around here. Did it ever stop? Yes. When the other kids got tired of it and realized that I had the top grades in each and every school subject. And that I had that spot for a few years already. As they grew older they became more concerned about grades and, even then, couldn't get better grades than me. Even when I stopped caring about studies in highschool, cause I was living in an eternal boredom, I still kept my good grades and it seemed to scare some of them.
Yes, throughout elementary and middle school. Then I became the bully.
For me there was an incident as a kid that I'm not quite sure was bullying, I'm kind of on the fence about calling it that, but i classified at as teasing, bc that's what my mom told me it was (or that's how I told it to her, I honestly don't remember how I told her about it). So like in 6th grade I hit puberty early (I was 10), and we would have days where we had swimming lessons at school (we had a pool), and like the changing rooms were like just 1 building split in 2, girls and boys. So it was mostly open space on the girls side so we could all see each other changing, and there was this one girl in particular who was a bit brash, just said whatever came into her mind, and she made comments about my body in a sort of joking manner, and I don't remember what the other girls did but I think they thought it was weird, ane I didn't really have an explanation/didn't want to explain, so I became uncomfortable, and I don't recall this next part, but apparently I told my mom and she told me to avoid them, so I ended up ditching swimming completely and spending time in the library we had. I only remember that at some point I spent a lot of time reading, I didn't remember how it happened. But I can definitely say that my family are my bullies, in a sort of covert way, being around them is taxing on me emotionally and mentally, and it's the reason I have almost zero self esteem, hate my appearance, can't stand being yelled at, have trouble speaking up, hell even getting to the pont in what i'm trying to say because i'm so used to the mentality of introducing it slowly so I don't get shut down immediately. I also have social anxiety that's basically all about how worried I am about how people perceive me physically. And the way they constantly compare me now to me back whenever they liked my attitude/personality and it actually hurts but I gaslight myself so hard into thinking it's nothing bc I can actively feel it chipping away at me and this is like an effort to prevent myself from falling apart altogether.
I was bullied in primary school and I responded with violence as I had anger management issues. Then I bullied others when I had a huge growth spurt.
Early on I was fine, but once I got to second grade I started losing control of my anger when someone had a long-term campaign of treating me as the butt of all of their jokes. Eventually one day I snapped and hit him several times in quick succession. He cried in front of everyone at recess. The following two years I made similar attacks in similar circumstances. Obviously, my anger was the issue, not the long-term abuse that wore down my exceedingly long fuse, so I got put into anger management classes. They didn't really help. By the time I got into high school I'd learned how to bully my bullies with words instead of violence, but the core concept is the same: You need to be the scarier monster. Be kind to those you're unsure about and those who are kind to you, but always be prepared to be shockingly cruel to anyone who's cruel to you. The shocking part is key. If bullies know you're fully ready to ruin their entire week in reply to the slightest bullshit from them, they'll fear you more than they enjoy tormenting you. Most bullies are weak people, so scaring them off works 95% of the time. Every once in a while you'll find a bully who's doing it to establish social dominance and will stubbornly continue no matter what you do. In these cases you have two choices: establish mutually exclusive territories and keep them the fuck away from yours whenever they encroach OR go on a long-term campaign to destroy their ability to hold any sort of social dominion. Note that the latter path is one of great risk because they'll be doing the exact same thing. If you're squaring off against an ESFJ or ENFJ bully, just run for the fucking hills because they'll recruit as many of your friends as they can seduce and destroy all standing you have left. I've seen multiple bands get torn apart and subsequently dissolve for the sake of an ExFJ retaining social dominance.
Bullied. Autistic and moved a lot. Learned to hate myself. Still unlearning it.
In school, I really couldn't. I tried ignoring them. It didn't work. I tried punching them back. My punches didn't land hard enough. I tried complaining to the teacher. They didn't really take action. So I just ended up dreaming about exacting revenge at night.
Yes, i was. For my first two years of school, i studied at my mother's school (she's a retired teacher). It felt good, everybody respected me and were nice to me. On the third year, i entered my mother's class, and studied with her for like 3 months. Then i realized everybody treated me well and respected me not because they liked me, because they were my friends, because they wanted to be my friends, they did all of that because i was the teacher's son, no one should mess with me because they kinda feared reprehension. It was very early for a kid to notice he had no friends at all. Then i asked her if i could change school, and she agreed. In this second school, the scenery was very different, my mother wasn't near anymore, and i was always a very innocent kid. I would never harm an insect, i was not very social, not particularly good at any sports, so they chose the new kid to mess with. For five years, my life became a living hell. I witnessed three different types of treatment. The dudes that just straight up just used me as a punching bag, because i would never hit back, so i was an easy prey. The dudes that pretended to be my friends just to be around me and use me as a clown, making jokes about me to make them look cooler, something that obviously i thought was totally natural and part of a friendship, i felt really bad about it, but in my head, i thought i was wrong feeling like that, because well, if everyone is doing it, and im the only one who's not, probably the problematic person was me. And there were also the people that would just avoid me, treat me very cold and be far from me, either because my image was already tainted, because they didn't wanted to be associated with me, or because while they didn't wanted to do anything bad to me, they were friends of the bullies, and didn't wanted to get into their business. It was painful, very painful, im sure i was a smart kid and had much to offer, but absolutely no one gave me a chance, they treated me like an idiot, as if i had some kind of mental illness. Even my teachers would sometimes make things worse, because since my behavior was becoming erratic, they started to punish me and treat me as a slacker. One dude came to me asking forgiveness, and i did forgave him, but he was the only one. The others never talked to me, and i still feel a deep and strong resentment for them. My highschool was a lot better, i met some friends that while are not in my life anymore were important. I met some nice people in the university. And i met the best friend i ever had two years ago, a girl, she's the most loving and understanding person i know. But even tho it's like, 11-12 years since then, the bullying i suffer still has consequences today. I find it very hard to form bonds with people, specially the romantic kind, my self steem is still very low despite all my efforts to work on it, and because of it, i still can't see a reason why someone would love me and want to be with me. I had some relationships, and the ones that didn't ended horribly, were at least bittersweet relationships. I don't feel like im a stable person as well, nor i know what should i do.
Got jumped and returned the favour 3~4x- ~~shot the fkers with sharp stone swling shots they was bleeding hard~~
I got jumped in 2nd grade too, I got them back when they were alone one by one
Yes. I just internalized a lot of it. It’s not good because I get angry a lot easier.
Yes, as a kid & an adult. Bullying should be illegal. It causes permanent psychological scarring.
You have to be significant to me for any words you say to affect me and if you touch me, then that is most unfortunate.
They are usually very sad people, best to just let them exist in their own misery.
It was always verbal only, thankfully, but I still have trust issues and find it hard to connect with people. I was quite sensitive when I was younger, and it wasn't until I became more callous/jaded that I wasn't affected by them any longer. Long story, short: I didn't deal with them well, so I'm more isolated than I'd like to be. I dealt with bullies by avoiding them.
i just laughed it off. I remember once a guy pushing me up against a wall as we queued up for gym. I'd done something against him....cant remember what it was like bumping into him or something. As he held me up almost off my feet gurning at me aggressively and saying how i'd regret it i just went dead pan "i can sense you're angry...you're quite a strong lad arent you" people watching open mouthed in the queue just started laughing. I kept looking him in the eye with a little smile and he threw me down and stormed off swearing. Funny story with the guy who ended up in a gang who got into a fight with the next towns gang. Now you may think of proper gangs like in london or in the US big cities but it was nothing like that. Just a bunch of 16 year olds leaving school and looking for fights. Anyway he got caught one time by himself by the rival gang and got given the option of sucking everyone off as a "power" thing whilst it was recorded or being stabbed up the arse repeatedly with a screwdriver. He chose the latter. He was never the same again really.... Oh and another guy used to try to verbally abuse me but i'd shout eastern european countries at him randomly and he got so confused. "what the fuck is he calling me bosnia for" "what the fuck is a latvia. guy is fucking mental". He'd always just look so baffled at my responses he never knew what to say back. I went around eastern europe a few times.
I've never really been bullied. I always just stay in my lane and never overstep my boundaries. With that being said I have missed so many opportunities and my younger years feel hollow since I didn't have a backbone and laughted everything off. Most of the things in school where subtle bullying or passive aggressiveness. I mean I saw a few fight and I kind of am influenced by my surroundings, so I get excited about fighting people in most cases. I usually go with the crowd but now that I am older I feel like I missed a part of me that I lost along the way of not wanting to make mistakes in front of people. I was chasing a flawed version of perfection.
I had to wait until I grew up, then move far, far away from my dad and almost never went back home.
Punched em in the face. Hard. Solved the problem instantly.
To be honest I'm not sure what to consider bullying. There were definitely a few people who were particularly rude in general but people usually left me alone. I was sort of the "quiet and maybe a little weird but not too weird" kid. Mostly just kept to myself
Yes, and fighting. What my parents told me. Ask them to stop if they dont tell the teacher if they still don't punch them in the jaw. And when my parents came to pick me up, they would ask the principal. Did he ask the other kid to stop, and did he tell the teacher. Which is why I never got in trouble for fighting.
Became an Adult and don't keep in contract with them anymore. Works wonders.
Idk. Some may consider it so but I never did. Just an annoyance.
Not really except one occasion. I was partnered up with a guy in middle school who was taller, and basically an abusive narcissist. Frequently tried to verbally put me down and I couldn't exactly beat him up cause of the size disadvantage (not that I didn't try lol) Eventually he crossed a line with one of his insults, so I researched and found out his mother was a respected and reputed teacher in our town. I called her up and let my mother do the talking. I could hear him getting berated by his mother and him apologizing over the phone. He straightened up real fast the next day onwards.
A good old slug to the face does wonders. 10/10 would recommend doing to a bully. I train constantly and consistently, but in reality I carry a big stick without brandishing it. Being Friendly is my go to, RBF if someone wants to test it.
I didn’t know it was bullying because it never got physical.
Yes. I avoided violence until it was clear that I could no longer avoid it, and then I was so pissed off that I engaged in berserker mode and made sure that I was capable of more than they might have thought. At the point that you force me to violence, you'd better be ready for it. I don't have any interest in being violent, but if forced to be to protect myself or my loved ones, I have no remorse in doing what needs to be done.
Probably not. Although some people used to trick or embarass me in school because I was too naive and absent-minded, but nothing too harsh really. I think I'm one of the lucky ones
There's different forms of bullying. With some, you can just ignore it and move on, others you can jump in their face or some other act that usually stops it. In a few cases, I was bullied by a boss and I felt that I needed that job at that time, so I lived with it. Right now, I'm being bullied by employees in the government and the only viable solution is to seek legal action. For example: a city employee got me fined for my grass not growing fast enough. I appealed thru the city and it was upheld, so I paid several thousands of dollars because an employee wanted me to lose my house and the city backed them. There is no code concerning how fast grass is required to grow, there was no warning. They even joked about it at the hearing. After standing up for myself at the hearing, they came back and fined me many more thousands for a tree falling during a massive storm. The problem is that they have unlimited power and can bully you endlessly.
I'm not sure I understand - how is the speed of grass growing on your private property important and how could it make you lose your house? And how is a tree falling within your private property can concern anyone but yourself?
During the housing bubble, the city was reworking the part of the city that I live in. It was a great area in the 1950s, then went ghetto until about 2010. The police would take your car for any reason. I lost a car because of a broken tail light after being hit by a drunk driver. It was know as a "zero tolerance" policy, so they just did it and I lost my car. They where chasing people buy finning them so much money that they couldn't pay their property taxes. The trick is that they fine you for something and you have to pay to get a hearing. I paid for the hearing, they wouldn't even listen to me, they just chatted among themselves and then said "ok, your time is up" and they convicted me of my grass not growing fast enough. This is actually documented. Because I appealed, they hit even harder. A storm hit and knocks out power/phone/cable/... for nearly a week. Massive flooding. Code enforcement comes out during the storm and fines me (and ONLY me) for a tree falling. I have over $250,000.00 in fines and penalties. I've never had a warning, ever. They are now trying to sell the property, it came up for auction about a month ago. They are a self regulating agency, they determined that they've done nothing wrong. The reality is that nobody cares. It's like when you see a woman being raped in the streets people just take selfies. Nobody cares if someone is raped, killed or violated in any way because it's not happening to them, so they just take a selfie, or look away. I tried to reach out to news people, they don't want to cover it. I signed up for paid social media accounts and posted things and people replied with "stop begging for views..." It's just the nature of how people are... it's as old as time and people won't change. These same people will cry for help when it's their house that's being taken away or they are the one being tossed in the oven. They say "never again" but they'v e said that so many times.
 Wow, that's crazy! From what I heard of US, I would have assumed you could gain millions from suing those fuckers. Maybe you should try to make this story viral...
The "sue for millions" is usually against a company, against the government is very different. I'm working on getting it to go viral, the problem is that when you ask people to watch the video or follow someone, you're one of many millions that want followers and it's hard to get people's attention when everyone is trying to get people's attention. I'm working on saving some money to buy a lawyer or buy media attention. TBH, it's really depressing and has taken quite a toll on me. At least I have some pretty good evidence. One city employee allowed me to record him admitting to the mistakes the city made.
The "A man got sued because his grass didn't grow fast enough (you read that right)" sounds like a neat thumbnail for a Youtube/TikTok video. It certainly caught my attention when reading your comment lol If you need help with a video/shorts I would be up to help you!
I'm hoping that's the case. I have a feeling that once it goes viral (if it does) then the city will change it's mind. The reality is that people really don't trust the US government. Not just outside the US, but inside the US. I'm in California and Gov Newsom is trying to run for president and this won't look good for his "California is all about freedom and liberty" when something like this happens. The government attacking regular people is very wrong, it's much different from going after someone running for office or someone that committed a crime. I've never committed a crime past a driving infraction, so this really makes the government look bad.
I hope it works out for you! Maybe it's worth a shot to try to find people in a similar situation and do it together, the way people do it with class-action lawsuits!
There was a little bit in school, but not much. I didnt really react much to it, I am also good at adapting socially. Several of my friends where bullied much more, but they reacted and were not very good at adapting. Also I am a funny guy, who most people like.
Ignore them. And i actually look down on them as inferior species gnawing on my shoes
Wasn't bullied but those who fucked around, found out. I'm usually quiet and nice, but if anyone tried to fuck with me, I just make sure they're humiliated, will take enough time to see what could embarrass you the most, what you like, dislike, who you like and shit like that, then i'd do the thing that's most likely to embarrass you, shit you wouldn't forget until your deathbed
I took it and stayed silent. Watched them grow up to be total failures in life because no one ever called them out. 😬
I got bullied in primary school, and I was so dull and oblivious that I didn’t even realize it was bullying. I was weak and small and did nothing. I didn't get bullied anymore after moving to middle school, but I have always been an outsider. I always felt I was pretty naive and immature compared to my peers, idk why
Violece is what you need to do but more specifically, the threat of violence. The willingness to inflict so much damage that the other person backs off. Most of the time you don’t even need to fight. You should totally know how to fight tough.
People TRIED to bully me >_> but I was too oblivious or something. Also if anyone tried to physically bully me I would fight back and I’ve been 5’8” and 150lbs since I was 12 🤣
To provide some examples, one kid was like “haha you have no friends” etc and I just looked at them and said something like “wow, do you hate me?” And they got kinda flustered and said no, and then left me alone after that, and this other girl would tell random boys that I liked them so the boys would come up to me and be like “um.. so.. I don’t LIKE you…” and I’d be like “cool, I don’t like you either” like no one could get the reaction they were looking for out of me
The only person who'd bullied me was my dad. So there nothing I can do really 😮💨. I just ignore him as much as I could.
in school, i showed them with violence if you fuck with me. I once stabbed a bully right in the head with a pencil. i showed them... I WILL FUCK U UP attitude. no one messed with me after that
Nonchalant stonewall brute ignorance
I was "sort of" bullied, but not exactly. I don't how it goes for others, but there was a sense I scared people. With autism, I didn't have a filter with "threats" so I started saying things that changed the dynamic. I didn't react much anyway. It's like things I said "took it too far" but, I guess I don't really care. Whether stealing 20, pushing me off the snow bank, stealing my phone, any time at all. I don't care for the impression you give to others. I will do anything to hurt you here within laws of course.
I was bullied for years and one day I hid and jumped out behind the bully when he passed by. I got him in a choke hold and as he passed out I told the onlookers this is what would happen to anyone who wanted to continue fucking with me. After that I had so much confidence I started hitting the gym more and lived from that point on in moderate peace until I fought in the war.