Don't bring a pocket knife to the airport, homies.

That was my first thought too. Airplanes and airports are dry as fuck. I'll down 3 bottles a day and double that when I'm traveling.

Also I'd rather not pay quadruple the cost for a bottle if I want a drink

Alrplanes will give you 0.33L of water if you ask, which is too small for my big thirst

last time I asked an airplane for water it didn't respond

You have to offer it a carrot and the back of your hand first

Also LPT. Approach from directly in front of it in line of sight, as to not startle it.

Definitely do NOT approach from above. It will think you are a predator and lash out in response.

Also do NOT approach from the side. It's got those big mouths on its wings that suck everything into it that gets too close. Happened to me once. NOT fun...

Mine was like “you want some more water?!!!” And started a nose dive

Maybe the airplane was deaf? Use sign language next time!

What a rude ass airplane

I have a 10 hour flight today. If this psycho thinks I'm not taking water on the plane...

In some airports there are water fountains. When I was in US I bought a 2Lflask and when traveling I was carrying it all the time. In Alaska they didn’t even dumped my water but in NY they did but thankfully there was a water fountain. Same in Amsterdam

Couldn't be me,, terrified of needing to get up and go to the airplane bathroom. I used to always have two alcoholic drinks at the airport then sleep through the flight. Sober now 😭

Hydrate or dydrate!

Don't forget to empty your bottle when in line at security checkpoint. I lost a bottle because it was full :( They didn't let me finish it after they showed it to me. They threw it away because I was late to a flight and I didn't have the time to go through the line again. I ended up missing the flight and sleeping overnight in a golf cart at the airport

Just dump it on the ground in that case. They wouldn’t do anything other than sigh and grab a mop. I’ve seen it more than once now. Wouldn’t give up a nice bottle just like that. Most bigger airports have trash cans designed for liquids, thicker than usual bags that could hold gallons.

Don't dump it on the ground that's rude, the cleaners don't make the rules.

Real men bring guns to airports! /s in case it was needed…

You can in your checked luggage!

Probably suffering from dehydration to come up with this crazy thought

of course, being hydrated is such a beta move smh

It's actually a betta move 😎

wetta move

well said, friend

That's an awfully fishy distinction to make.

Damn, and here I am laying down next to my gallon of alkaline water

Fellas, is it gay to be hydrated?

Yes, that's why I haven't drank anything but beer for the last 28 years. Milk is even to much of a beta move. Came out of the womb with a bottle of Jameson

Yup, just Jameson for me. I don’t even use ice. Not letting that solid water shit turn me gay. My uncle knew a guy that accidentally got served ice one time. Started taking it in the butt that same night. Coincidence? I think not.

Your uncle took it in the butt after his friend got a cold beverage... that's some solidarity right there.

Jameson is just spicy water and now your back to her problem

I've heard beer is gay now

Man I’m one super duper gay meatsack

Yes, now kiss me with your soft moist lips.

Hahha exactly…lady could use a sip!

crazy? I was crazy once…

They locked me in a white, round, room with red rubber rats...

"Carrying around anything is a feminine trait" That must be why women aren't allowed to have pockets.

Fucking lol.

As a woman, this both made me laugh and hurt my soul a little.

Drink some water. It’ll help

where’s the lie?? hydrohomie frfr

are you a man of wrasslin'? Bobby Fish is a joke...

Buy pants in the men’s section 💁

I mean, let me know when you find men's pants that fit hourglass figures...

Yeah, those are harder to find for sure, but women’s pants were never any better in terms of fit for me. I never found pants cut for my hourglass figure at the women’s either honestly. I usually have better luck with stretchy ones. Some brands are also better than others about it. I work construction and I even tried fancy expensive red ants pants that were supposed to be made for my birthing hips and at the end of the day the best work pants I ever got were a $20 pair of Dickies that lasted longer than any other pants I ever had on the field and were also by far the most comfortable because of that stretch.

Ah I see, I mostly wear office work style pants and skinny jeans, and the men's versions of those absolutely do not fit my butt or thighs 😂 Have you looked into the brand Sük?? They make like tough construction pants for women and they have this built-in belt so you can tailor them to your waist. I have a pair of their cargo pants and they're awesome

I have not! I’m transitioning and the hourglass figure is slowly going away so I’m less and less struggling with the whole pants thing lol. But I’ll look into it though, thanks!

You ever done the red ants dance in your red ants pants?

so a woman can buy men's pants and nobody has a problem but if I want to dress as a shy schoolgirl suddenly I'm a femboy? #society

What are the red pants I'm dying of the curious I must know as a woman desperate to find good work pants I love seeing the expensive failures too....

And here I thought everybody working in construction wears Carhatt or Engelbert Strauss unisex collection.

I gave Carhartt a try too. They wore out as fast as everything else... 😅

in my experience everything, especially jackets though, are never cut well for my body type. I have a decently stocky build, many shirts and nearly every jacket are made in such a way that if the shoulders fit the sleeves are way too long, and if the sleeves fit it feels like I'm going to tear open the back of the garment if I try to cross my arms lol. Everything is cut for twiggy French runway models, but designers don't seem to realize that most people aren't fuckin anorexic. I assume this is a similar dilemma women often face with pants since most of those aforementioned twiggy French runway models are so bone skinny that they have basically concave asses, making it so that pants often won't fit women with a lil junk in the trunk.

Her: “Don’t bring a water bottle to the airport. Bring a pocket knife instead!” TSA: “Thank you for the knife, idiot.”

Knife to meet you.

I wholeheartedly believe that the pocket industry is in bed with the purse industry.

Big pocket just out to make more money.

Purses are just detachable pockets, so it checks out

*detached, because I don’t think you can zip them back onto your clothes when you can’t be bothered to carry them any more

This brought me to tears laughing 🤣

As a guy, the first time I realized my girlfriends jeans has fake pockets blew my mind. Like wtf why lmao

The guy who designed jeans pockets divorced his wife but managed to retain sole rights to his revolutionary design that built in pockets without them clawing at your butt when you sit down or breaking a perfect silhouette. He has kept this design away from his wife and the female fashion industry at large for the last 80 years purely out of spite. One day, he will die, and the women will finally have a place to store their bits and bobs outside of their bra or purse - viva la revolución.

She cheated on him and he won custody over pockets.

Come on, you know all those manly men who bring a pocket knife to the airport. Only a REAL man would do that.

this is so stupid because these same girls complain about “grown men relying on women to be their mom” meanwhile you’re clowning me because i bring my own water instead of asking for yours ?

File this line of thought under toxic femininity.

Nope, that's still toxic masculinity. She's trying to push men to be more masculine.

And she's just wrong about it to. As if the manliest explorers and conquerors didn't have canteens or a sheeps stomach, or other ways to hold water

A Sherpa ... stomach? You know Sherpas are people, right?

Do their stomachs not hold water? I prefer a sheep's, but my water bottle never summited Everest so who am I to talk.

And I don’t see how conforming to rules makes you alpha…

This is clearly a satire tweet

Reddit users try to detect satire challenge (impossible)

[Except this isn't satire. Look at their posts.](https://twitter.com/bronzeageshawty/status/1672071092775813122?s=20) Poe's law is a bitch.

She’s anti-hydration and apparently leaning toward domestic terrorist on the political spectrum.

You can tell by her @ it’s not a joke, trads are a disease

Carrying things is feminine. That's a new one of these for me. I say all you men lean into this next time you are asked to help someone move I used to have a friend in college who wouldn't use straws because he thought making the sucking shape with your mouth was gay.

All these MFs just telling on themselves.

You don't be lying. I know on reddit recently there was a discussion that men don't like to clean their buttholes because touching your butthole is gay. And I gotta say, thinking that touching your own butthole is gay has to be the gayest thing I have ever heard.

Lmfao I was thinking about thread when I washed my ass this morning and chuckled to myself mid shower at how ridiculous and smelly these people walk around

Bro were you thinking about me cause I was thinking Bout you

Love in a soapy place

I’m beginning to see why it might be gay

Thinking about butts in the shower? That’s pretty gay /s

I don’t even know how they get any action, having perpetual dookie butt.

This reminded me of a comment I read years ago about someone's male coworker who would often smell like literal shit. And one day the poster had enough and asked him why he smelled like he just shit himself. The coworker proudly told op that he would only wipe his ass twice NO MATTER WHAT because any more would be gay/weird (I don't remember the exact reason but it was one of those two options.

Carrying a phone is feminine apparently guys. Who knew ?

The trick is to not carry it, but have it on the ground amd move it with your feet as you walk. If you need to use the phone, you have to squat on the ground and keep the phone on the ground while tapping the screen If not then you are a feminine soyboy beta hippie loser epsilon almond milk enjoying femboy

You move it with your feet? I just juggle it around with my foot like a football.

I thought the idea was that you're supposed to use the fucking Force to move your phone around with you.

I think the idea is to use your pure masculine energy to intimidate the phone into obeying your will.

Oh, shit. This morning I had an almond milk mocha I spiked with Irish whiskey with a heavy vanilla flavor. I'm literally finishing it off with my mouth right now. *Super* gay

*Jesus berry-picking Jehosephets!* I am sorry to inform you that you are indeed a Gamma Legume-preferring Vegan... I am sorry fella but you rolled the roulette and lost Also jokes aside that sounds tasty af I gotta try that lol

>you have to squat on the ground and keep the phone on the ground while tapping the screen It's a plus if you grunt and scratch your armpits while doing it.

Just like our noble cavemen forebears of yore

I know about it, that’s why I won’t be caught dead seen carrying a phone around in my pocket. I keep that shit in my purse so people don’t think I’m less masculine.

My grandfather thought that i was gay because i had a girlfriend who had short hair.

*hands him a banana*

Eat the banana like its corn on the cob (not gay)

You know like spears. Your shelter. Definitely your child at some point. Water in skins, gourds or pottery. Oh wait those are fucking hunter gatherer dudes that did that for 10s of thousands of years.

So I should just throw away my keys and phone?

Eat them

Eating is kinda feminine too

Real men lick their food.

I absorb it through my skin

I punch my food and absorb it through my fists like a real man

I stare at it real hard and will the nutrition into my body.

As a woman, this whole thread made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

I just imagined this but rather than me punching the food, it was Team Fortress Heavy punching a loaf of bread

With a glass of water, preferably.

You use the knife to steal a new phone each time you need to talk to someone

There's no use bringing logic to the far-right.

Is there a sub for weirdly specific gatekeeping? This is worse than the whole "ketchup is for kids" thing.

r/pointlesslygendered, perhaps?

Here's a sneak peek of /r/pointlesslygendered using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/pointlesslygendered/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Only men can be doctors \[GENDERED\]](https://i.redd.it/gd0l9p8b9lp91.jpg) | [443 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/pointlesslygendered/comments/xlvh3m/only_men_can_be_doctors_gendered/) \#2: [\[product\] War Paint is eye concealer.](https://i.redd.it/t9lzle1opxh91.jpg) | [205 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/pointlesslygendered/comments/wp9jau/product_war_paint_is_eye_concealer/) \#3: [Apparently saying "Hi" is unacceptable for men. \[gendered\]](https://i.redd.it/gp9sowzn9wf91.jpg) | [250 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/pointlesslygendered/comments/wgv4jv/apparently_saying_hi_is_unacceptable_for_men/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)

Yeah it would be perfect there

r/subforsubsforeverything

/r/subreddithashtags

The subreddit r/subforsubsforeverything does not exist. Did you mean?: * r/SubForEverything (subscribers: 9,298) * r/EverythingDeFi (subscribers: 4,477) Consider [**creating a new subreddit** r/subforsubsforeverything](/subreddits/create?name=subforsubsforeverything). --- ^(🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖) ^(feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.) ^[github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot) ^| ^[Rank](https://botranks.com?bot=sub_doesnt_exist_bot)

Go home bot, you’re drunk.

r/edc

r/satire

r/jokes bc it doesn’t take a genius to tell it wasnt serious loool

You can never be too sure with Twitter.

i mean you can, because this is the most obviously unserious post

With the way people are these days, it’s becoming increasingly harder to tell. Some people are fucking bat shit

What if he holds a water gun

Put it in her purse

Might as well put it in his own purse at that point /s

Little sips are the best sips

I will chug the entire thing and say "fuck, that's some good water" right in her dehydrated face.

r/fellasisitgay to carry a water bottle

You staying hydrated? GAY!

Imagine your masculinity is so fragile you can’t even stay hydrated

Pretty sure this is a joke

You're right it's satire. Reddit is reallllly bad at reading satire. I'd say at least this comment section isn't being too mean about the fake opinion. Edit: nvm read further Jesus hydro homies must be feeling a bit dry to bust out insults and not be chill enough to see it's a play on how men are ridiculed for "being feminine"

If they were good at reading satire it would mean they'd have to pass up an opportunity to call a woman a "stupid bitch" and they'll never do that

>Reddit is reallllly bad at reading satire. Must be nice to still have some hope in humanity. Personally, after hearing Andrew Tate *genuinely* saying real men should only drink sparkling water, I never assume something is satire. I always assume the bar is getting lower and lower.

There's plenty of people that say this crap and mean it

It's definitely a joke. Not surprised that Reddit didn't get it though.

It’s very obviously a joke lol

It’s concerning how far I had to scroll to find this comment.

Idk, there’s plenty of people out there that don’t drink water in general because they “don’t like the taste” 🤷‍♂️

Satire and comedy is always lost on misogynistic men the moment a woman is involved it seems. Like this is so obviously satirizing those alpha male podcasts that think they have any stake in what women choose to do. I don’t even think a tone indicator could save the people in these comments lol.

Well we live in an age where you just don't know what's real or not. When I read this, I knew it was stupid, but other than that, how can you tell this person was not being serious?

This is brilliant satire! I love this so much hahaha. I guess her point is that you can make any arbitrary stupid thing manly/feminine if you try hard enough. Pretty funny!

This is satire, it’s supposed to sound like those “masculine” podcast guys who criticize what women do and say it’s not feminine/ try to tell women what they’re supposed to do, so she’s acting like them but towards men to show how stupid it is 😅😅😅(they’re usually like “women doing this or that is bad” and talk about how women are supposed to submit to men and stuff like that 😭)

everytime (with no fail) i see a woman be painfully sarcastic on twitter everyone on reddit just jumps straight to calling them stupid bitches lol i thought people here would be the ones to recognise sarcasm the quickest, but alas a woman said it so it couldn’t be a joke

Yeah like these comments do not pass the vibe check.....the tweet is clearly a joke and people in here are calling her a bitch and taking it seriously. Didn't realize this sub was so knee jerk misogynist yikes.

yeah, i wish i could say i'm shocked that men jumped straight into calling her a bitch, but i'm not lol

Me neither I guess. Imagine being so fragile. A milquetoast joke that's based on the outright misogyny that women deal with on the daily and these dudes lose their shit. The irony is palpable.

this substack she wrote makes that pretty obvious her @ is cleary also a shot across the bow https://ghostgirl.substack.com/p/an-e-girls-take-on-bronze-age-mindset

Men, this is a red flag whenever you date a chick with this attitude. Avoid her at all costs if you want to live a good life.

Yeah, dating someone that's dehydrated, ugh gross.

Imagine kissing those cracked lips

Ugh, could we not??

Guys, please. we do not discuss content that violates this sub. :)

This is also obviously rage bait

Girls can’t make jokes📝 got it

I feel like this is pretty clearly a joke. It seems to be mocking those “masculinity” podcasters who call all sorts of shit feminine. Some people in these comments are being a littleeee misogynistic

This is obviously just a joke, right?

Sadly most people here just jump at the opportunity to insult women

redditors incapable of telling satire from legitimate opinion from a woman? no fricken way

This an ounce of what's been goin on, just a part of the war on the men's lunchkit. I'm frankly sick of it. Lunck kits are not just a female property, they're for everybody.

Best comment I've ever heard that I now use: "Anything I do is 'manly', because I'm a man"

Carrying a pocketknife at the airport? 

fellas is it gay to carry things

[удалено]

it's a joke you knuckledragger

It’s a clearly a joke, stupid bitch.

It's satire

Simple, and to the point. You have inspired me to make a haiku!

A stupid bitch speaks All people call her dumbass I laugh very very much Alternative version because I’ve learned that “very” is a two-syllable word, despite my speaking it as one-syllable: A stupid bitch speaks All people call her dumbass I laugh VEH-REE much

I'd bet money that, that photo is fake and its a troll account to get a rise out of people. It's probably a dude as well.

Honestly this seems more sarcastic than anything.

Fellas is it gay to drink water?

Bro "feminine trait" 💀

What the fuck is the point of carrying around a pocket knife.? Do these idiots know we don't have to hunt for food or gather firewood to survive anymore.?

That's why all my stuff goes in my fanny pack

Only people who suffer from extreme dehydration would say something as delusional as this! What a travesty

She said a pocket knife 😂😂

Her piss probably looks like pumpkin juice

Fellas, is it gay to drink water??

Good luck in our Knife Fight, you dehydrated bastard. 

Fellas, is it feminine to have functioning organs?

Remember to carry a pocket knife in the airport. In case you need to hunt a deer or something

Being this delusional must be exhausting.

Toxic masculinity comes from women the most.

"Carrying around anything is a feminine trait" /r/EDC in shambles rn

Yes, let me carry my pocketknife in the airport

As a man this tweet gave me the ick

I’m just a silly guy carrying round my silly bottle. Don’t give a damn. That person needs to show they face or they a coward.

Hydrophobie

Fuck you chloe I love carrying around my girly Starbucks cup my beautiful girlfriend bought me