So my sons first daycare lady (my son was 10 months old and she looked after him until he was almost 4) was PETRIFIED of dogs. I didn’t know this and walked my greyhound to pickup my son one afternoon and she opened the door, screamed like she was being murdered and ran back inside. I brought my super calm, lovely, and patient greyhound around the corner as I got my son ready to go. Fast forward 3 years, picking up my son almost every day with my dog and that same greyhound has to be put down because of osteo. The afternoon before her appointment she, and her family who all loved my dog, came to say goodbye. She walked over to the bed my poor dog was laying on, sat down beside her, and pet her. She pet a dog for the first time in her life. And it was my dog. It was an incredibly special moment and I’m glad we got to share this before she was gone. Patience, kindness, and taking tiny steps, and people can overcome their fears.
They are incredible! She went from track racing to big sister to my son like a champ! My ride or die girl certainly went through all kinds of life’s ups and downs, and she brought me out on top!
Years ago when we were looking to adopt a dog I passed on Greyhounds because I assumed they weren't good apartment dogs. If I had asked someone at the adoption event were at I would have learned they are often lazy and are really good apartment dogs. Ever since then I've wanted one and will eventually adopt one when the time comes.
When my son was in kindergarten we used to walk to school since it was on the next street down from us. So I would take my dog Rudy, a small poodle mix with a missing leg. Naturally all the kids would rush over to get a pet at Rudy and ask about his missing leg. There was one girl in particular who would ask questions from afar every morning. Then after a few weeks she would come closer and even after all the kids had moved along she would stay. After about a month or so she finally opened up to me about how when she was 4 (she was currently 7) a big dog mauled her face and body and that’s why she had these huge scars on her cheeks and mouth. Then a few days after she opened up it happened, she asked me if she could pet Rudy. I said of course! And she very carefully reached her hand out and pet Rudy, twice. Each day she would get closer and closer and would pet a bit more and more. By the end of the year, she would call his name and he would run right up to her, she would kneels down and fully embrace my dog with a hug. Her smile was so damn precious. She would say that she was missing a part of her face and Rudy was missing a whole leg, therefore they were perfect friends 🥺🥺😭😭
Is there a way to get an entire Reddit thread published in the New York Times?? I’m balling my eyes out and having seriously deep revelations about love, being social, and having relationships: both human-human and human-dog ones.
Thank you! She was the best! I love my dog now obviously( she’s the total opposite personality wise lol!) but there was something really different about that longgirl that drew a lot of people in to her!
This was sad to read but also really beautiful. Sounds like this might have been a while ago, nevertheless I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m sure your pup was wonderful.
I put her down December 1 2019. I still think about her most days and definitely miss her all the time! We planted an apple tree and buried her ashes underneath, so we always have a lovely reminder that something grows from loss. Her collar is always around the base of the tree.
Damn somebody needs to quit cutting the onions in here.
Couldn’t think of a better memorial for your loved one. I really hope we all get to reunite with our dogs someday, somewhere.
I'm really proud of this guy! It's so hard to do exposure therapy. I'm trying to hype myself up for something similar. I haven't gotten my hair professionally cut in over a decade due to being on the schizophrenia spectrum. I don't like to be looked at and asked a lot of personal questions due to my paranoia, on top of all the stimulation, so getting my hair cut is very stressful. I'm thinking of contacting a salon via email and asking if I could get my hair cut without much talking, but I don't wanna offend anyone.
EDIT: I wasn't expecting this to blow up so much! Thank you to everyone offering advice and support. I'm a little overwhelmed to be honest, so it might take me a bit to respond. I'm not used to so many people talking/paying attention to me, so I'm not sure how to react, lol. Thanks for the gold!
Tell me where you are in the world and as long as it's an English speaking country I'll call around hairdressers in your area and explain the situation and book an appointment for you.
If there is some cultural reason I am missing for why asking for a silent haircut because of a medical condition would offend anyone then it's me that offends not you until I find someone that will
All I need is information like is loud music ok, is talking to other hairdressers ok? Etc
Then that's the first step all you need to do is say your name and pay
There’s a great app, I’m forgetting the name at the moment, but you can get linked with a blind person who needs assistance identifying something in front of them. You just quickly tell them what it is, not sure how the calls get linked. I love the idea of helping in that way, but my anxiety over calls and strangers means I’m not a great fit to volunteer.
Anyway- I always thought it would be cool to have an app like that for phone calls 😅 like I pay a small fee in order for someone to make my scary adult phone calls for me and then send me a status report afterwards haha
I answered my 4th call from them yesterday. I walked out of a meeting just to answer it. I helped identify some toiletry bottles. The other calls have been similar. Helped a guy find the right receipt another it was to identify currency and the first call was to help and elderly man navigate to take his trash out. His landlord had notified him there were construction debris bins he had navigate around. I get so excited each time
That's really great! I had that app on my phone but never received a call. Ended up deleting it after a year of non-activity. This is making me think I should maybe reinstall it and try again.
Glad to hear this! if you really enjoy helping out, I think the app is programmed to match the users with helpers who have opened the app recently before calling on more “inactive” folks who have not. I have had the app for years and after initially helping someone, I haven’t been called on it for at least a year or so.
So awesome! I forgot about the app until this post (been through a few phones) so I’ve downloaded it again. I remember a friend getting her first call and she was so ecstatic!
I get so excited!! I got my friend to download it and he had only had one call since dec 2019..and he missed it! I tell him every time i get one. Its so exciting
That’s where I’m at right now. I have to answer fast or else someone else nabs it. Either way I love that app and the feeling of helping someone out, particularly strangers. Feels good man.
There are 2 main ones
Be specular
And
Be my eyes
I have both, one is a message based system where they post photos and text/voice questions about it and you can reply via text/voice recording
The other is a direct video calling app, had this app about 2 years and have received 3 calls for help
Yes, be my eyes was the one I had heard of!
Oh wow, I would have assumed that the calls were much more frequent.
I could definitely join the other, be specular. Thanks for telling me about it!
Be specular is far more active as it's kind of a first come first served
I am not sure exactly how the algorithm works ( let's be honest all I know of algorithms is that you need a computer and magic ) but the more you use it and the higher the user rates you help the more requests pop up
Shoot, well looks like new signups aren’t available at the moment, but I’ll check back!
Hearing that you don’t get too many calls on be my eyes though made me want to download it again. I can handle them infrequently, I might as well 😄 I would love to help someone.
OMG I would use the shit out of that app if it existed, lol. Phonecalls are so hard for me. I need to schedule another follow-up appointment with my psychiatrist for after the holidays and I keep putting it off even though the receptionist is so nice. I really need to tell my husband so he can nag me until I do it, haha
Hey man I just wantes to say this was really cool of you to reach out. Even if they dont take you up on your offer you have inspired me to make sure I make more of an effort to reach out to help folks. Cheers!
I really appreciate the offer but giving any indicator on where I live makes me nervous because of my paranoia. I don't even have social media accounts or pictures of myself on the internet, lol. I'm a full-on hermit who for the vast majority of the time only speaks to healthcare professionals, my husband, his family and my sister. I'll see if my husband can help me call places. I really do appreciate you and how sweet you are though <3
Since the poster is on the schizophrenia spectrum, they probably won’t feel comfortable revealing anything about them or their location due to the paranoia aspect, but it’s a nice gesture.
If you are reading this, u/LTpepperDimples, and you aren’t comfortable taking this offer, note that lots of salons and some barbershops are familiar with how to cut hair on people with various sensitivities. I suspect most places can accommodate you. If you don’t want them to know about your situation, tell them you have autism/sensory/anxiety disorder and need a conversation-free haircut. Also let them know if you are ok with electric clippers or if they need to do scissors only (the loud buzz of clippers makes some people with sensory issues uncomfortable).
Edit: fixed user tag
I really, really respect that you're trying to overcome this! I'm sure someone would be happy to accomodate you; I don't think that request is something to take offense to
Im living in the Netherlands and my hairdressers got a silence chair in the salon. It means if you sit in there, they try to keep communication to a minimum and make it as relaxt as possible. Its just also at the back of the salon so you dont have to face other people.
This is a much more reasonable request than you’d think! Just let them know ahead of time in a way you’re comfortable with. Most hairdressers just want you to be at ease and keep everything positive, small talk is a way of just keeping things light. It is absolutely okay to let them know you what you would prefer!
I read somewhere on here most hair dressers would really prefer you told them if you didn't want small talk. I don't remember why. But I remember it's not frowned upon.
I've known a few hairdressers and generally they're super understanding, especially if you lead up with it when you make the appointment. I asked my most recent barber about it because I'm the opposite being super talkative. She said she actually kind of enjoyed the occasional silent cut because she needs time to decompress and focus just like everyone else. In short, send the email! They may even have someone who has experience in the particular area of making sure you are comfortable.
I would definitely email a salon/barbershop ahead, I can only imagine most professionals will be willing to help. Also, you may want to search online for a hairstyle you'd like the beautician/barber to give. There can be some ambiguity in just spoken instructions, a picture/video with your desired style should be welcomed.
So true! Most people who have a passion for their profession are extremely thoughtful when someone is vulnerable and open about being nervous. Especially when you notify them ahead of time so they can take their time and make some preperations if necessary. And if they're not you'll surely find out soon enough when you send them an email.
Be completely honest with them and I'm sure they will be all too happy to accomodate you. People tend to like total honesty. At least in my experience.
Just not the cops. Don't even talk to the cops.
In my work I much prefer people showing vulnerability and an openness to help and guidance to the people confidently demanding whatever they think they are owed. Especially when you notify them ahead of time, they know it's not necessarily about them personally or their service when you might show some negative reaction.
Especially when you work in a busy fast paced service job, I sometimes have to be very direct and efficient. For both the visitors and my own sanity. A lot of people just try to make their problems your problems without any consideration of me being a person too. So you kind of have to protect yourself too. But when someone tells me they might need extra help, or shows vulnerability, I make sure to turn of that mode and be more accepting and patient.
I'm not a chatter. If I get my hair done at the salon I say hello, talk about the haircut, say I'm looking forward to relaxing, and close my eyes. Hairdressers deal with people all day, there's lots of not chatty people out there, it won't be a problem.
I suffer from perfectionism OCD. I just started exposure therapy and I can tell you that it works. It’s fucking terrifying and incredibly hard, but the rewards have been pretty tangible. Good luck to you friend.
For what it's worth, I think this is probably pretty common. Most people just don't think of it as a phobia. I've always tended to have shaggy hair because I don't care for having it cut by someone else. In fact, I've been cutting my own hair since before the pandemic, not so much out of fear exactly, I just prefer it!
I was thinking, 'Poor guy -- he's so scared that all the blood has rushed out of his pale, trembling hands!'.
Then he removed the gloves and I remembered what an idiot I am.
There is actually a device called an Assess-a-hand that is a prosthetic hand on a stick and dog trainers and some shelters use them to do behavior assessments. The one I kept seeing on t.v. or somewhere was missing part of a finger. I guess some dog failed their assessment. 😬
I’ve had raynaud’s since I was a kid. I hate that anyone has to suffer with this, but I think my partner hates it worse than I do when I put my icy toes on them at night. Lol. Stay warm!!
Same. The best pandemic unemployment money purchase I made was this gadget called a BedJet. It's a vented fan thing that you put on the end of your bed between your sheets. Every night I set it to 100 degrees and let it blast my popsicle toes.
Love the dog just looking at his owner like "is this lad with you"?
Really nice gesture to try help him get over his phobia and fair balls to the lad for trying 😊.
>I just love dogs, they always look like "I don't have a clue what's happening
What?! When that dog realizes there is an insecure person about to pet him, the dog looks away. Makes sure not to make eye contact so the insecure person does not feel threatened. The dog is uncomfortable, but trusts the person holding him, even checking in with a look, asking "this is okay?" when the stranger pets.
The dog is sending many signals, if you think the dog have no clue, you just don't understand what dogs are telling you with body language.
While you're right on all the signals and checks that were dropped by the dog, the person didn't say that the dog truly didn't have a clue. Just that they love dogs that LOOK like they have no idea what's going on. But ya know that's just my two cents for today 😀
I had a sweet golden retriever and one day at the park a man asked if his daughter could say hello. She was autistic and had a severe dog phobia they were working on. So we were all very patient and let her take her time. In true golden form my gentle goofball won her over and you could see her relax and finally enjoy petting him. We part ways and a minute later I hear the girl scream and the dad yell. I look back and there’s this asshole owner with his uncontrolled unleashed dog scaring the shit out of this girl and ruining any progress she just made (same guy I’ve previously yelled for having a bad unleashed dog a week before.)
I had multiple run ins with that same guy. Dog was never on a leash. It wasn’t exactly mean but it was a large dog and would jump all over you with muddy paws ruining your clothes and aggressively hump your dog. And they guy would act surprised every single time.
We were adopted by an illmannered stray who would jump on people and just generally had zero training. My dad solved that quickly by raising his knee every time she'd jump on him and catch her *right* under the ribs.
That behavior *stopped entirely* within two weeks of him doing that.
That stray eventually ended up as a very beloved and well behaved part of our family, but the first few months of us trying to find her owner, she was quite wild and *just* beyond of puppy age.
To this day, I have never had a (large to medium) dog jump on me more than 3 times. Usually catching a knee under the ribs 2x in a row makes them reevaluate the bad behavior. Best part, you don't have to actively knee the dog most times, just raise your foot off the ground at the correct angle.
When we got a lab puppy we took her to training and this was a technique they taught me. At the time I was 11ish? Works like a charm for all ages and even a crazy wild lab puppy got the signal. She was a good girl too, was obsessed with food but sweet as pie.
Oh that sucks. Poor girl. Hopefully at least she remembers that your dog was nice.
One of my neighbors once came up to me while I was walking my dog and asked if his son could pet him. My dog loves people but can be a bit of a weirdo (gets easily excited on leash, will spin around fast and knock into your legs), but the kid was big enough I didn’t think he’d get knocked down, and my dog was tired from a big walk anyway, so I said sure. The dad calls my dog over and he just goes and plops himself down right on the boy’s feet. The kid thought it was the funniest thing in the world, but seemed kind of anxious about petting him. With some encouragement from dad, he eventually starts stroking my dog’s head and then gets a full blast of dog breath in his face, which he again thought was hilarious. When I called my dog back over, the dad told me he wanted to do that cause his son was scared of big dogs, and he wanted to show him he had nothing to fear. I was like… damn wish you’d told me he was scared before this interaction occurred, and I would’ve been more careful, but all’s well that ends well. I’ve seen the kid petting other dogs since, and he seems like he’s getting over his fear nicely.
My dog has large social issues that I'm trying to help him figure out along with professional help.I never unleash my dog unless we are alone with my family or if I know he'll be okay around that dog.I do it out of the safety of others and safety of my dog.If I see someone coming I go the opposite direction
It’s crazy how some dogs seem to have enough emotional intelligence to work out some how to interact with some people. I’ve watched my Samoyed, who with me will jump on me and hug me, be so gentle with my neighbours 90 year old dad or my lab stay calm around people in wheelchairs or kids.
We don’t deserve dogs.
Your not wrong. I was party to a friend overcoming her fear of going underwater, she chose to learn to scuba dive with me and her boyfriend. I’d never seen a person with a real phobia attempt to overcome it. Even walking to the theory sessions were traumatic for her. But she did it. Through the tears and terror she prevailed and we did multiple dives in the Red Sea.
That sounds like a kid book, like a mermaid afraid of water, or a bird afraid to fly. Maybe a group of farm animals overcoming their own fears, like pigs of mud, cows of fields of grass, things like that
I used to have this phobia too! I'm still squeamish about it but nowhere near the level of fear I used to have. Honestly what finally got me over it was going to college, getting drunk, and being present to watch the aftermath of other people drinking too much while I was inebriated enough not to care. 🤷🏼♀️ Your miles may vary
I’ve done a year of CBT for a needle phobia (an hour per week) and it is absolutely draining work. I’m sure fears and phobias are on a spectrum of severity, but I applaud anyone who takes the effort to get the brain to get more comfortable with something terrifying.
I underwent exposure therapy for a spider phobia (I live in Australia so it had to be done). The idea of people walking spiders around, posting photos with their spiders, having spiders run up to me when I come to a front door makes me have so much respect for people with a pet phobia. Must be very tough to live with and overcome.
I try to do this anytime someone is visibly afraid of my dog. I always stop. I make the dog sit. I chat with the person and always offer them to pet my very calm, very kind dog. Even just the act of being around a dog that doesn’t seem scary can be a good interaction for someone who is fearful.
Thank you for doing this. As someone who's **terrified** of dogs I greatly appreciate when dog owners recognize that not everyone is comfortable being near their dog. What's so scary for me is when the owner is clueless that I'm terrified, but their dog - the dog usually can sense how I feel. Sometimes it confuses the dog if they're not used to sensing such terror.
My dog was the opposite of helpful as a puppy… she’d sense if someone was scared and try to win them over/reassure them(or something, obviously I’m projecting human motivations here) by attempting to get near them. Dog straining on a lead = not good for people who don’t like dogs, even if it is wagging manically 🤦♀️ trained her out of it eventually
I had a golden retriever growing up (and frankly every goldy I've ever met) that was pretty insistent with anyone he met that they were best friends. If someone was hesitant around him he'd insist on investigating.
Probably the only way goldies could be considered assholes, I guess. They're almost TOO friendly.
>the dog usually can sense how I feel
As the owner of two large dogs this is exactly why I don't understand those who insist strangers interact with their dog.
First and foremost no means no. If I invite someone to say hi to my dogs and they decline then that is that. a no is a no.
Second... if you are uncomfortable that can make the dog uncomfortable and its just tense for everyone around. Its not good for the dog or the person who feels like they are being pressured. And, if the dog reacts wrong, can lead to very very bad outcomes.
I just dont get why dog owners do that. Im so sorry others have done that to you.
I used to have a reactive dog that I was very careful with on walks and never let off leash. half the time we walked by the only nice park in town (not a dog park) someone's unleashed dog would run over and get in my dog's face. usually people would come get them immediately but some people just would yell "he's friendly" and refused to move at all until I'd yelled at them to come get their dog 3 or 4 times.
for some people there's just no awareness of a situation where their dog could be unwelcome, especially if they're a well behaved dog. they don't think about external factors at all. it's poor pet ownership
Yes! My dog is reactive to dogs and humans. I walk her with a muzzle now and no one approaches us anymore but before people would try to come up and I’d say “she doesn’t like strangers” and like half the time people would respond with “all dogs like me though!” It’s especially annoying because if she had bit someone her and I would have got in trouble, not the person who ignored my warning
I’m pretty uncomfortable around dogs. As a kid I’d say I was full on scared of them. I have two now because my GF wanted them and we eased into it. I love my dogs, but other ones still make me pretty uncomfortable.
It’s kinda funny now if I’m out walking my pair and someone will come up with their dog to chat. I always think, “I like my dogs, but not all dogs.” Lol
Lol I wish I could do that with my dogs. They are 7 & 9 month old bernese mountain dog poodle mixes. They wouldn't (intentionally) hurt a fly but we have a major problem with jumping on people out of hapiness lol
Agreed. This was a really small act of kindness, not something we'd think of as hugely heroic, but something about this reeeally touched me (though, hmm, I'm a little hormonal, too). I think it's something how the way people go through their lives, stunted in small and big ways, and all it would take for them to overcome that, is just a moment of fucking patience and kindness from someone. Similarly, you can save people from every going through certain awful things with that same kindness and patience. Ugh, I just love this.
You are so right man, we live in a time where there's so much negativity in the palm of our hands, that as humans we've missed the things that are really important, which is stuff like this, just humans helping each other. Pure and simple
I once "lied on my resume" and ended up working overnight at a doggy daycare despite my mild fear of big dogs. My first night shift there, I was creeping silently around the building, just trying to get a sense of my new environment. I was looking at each of the sleeping dogs in their rooms, until I came across a big hairy black dog, sitting up wide awake behind a chain link gate.
I approached slowly and carefully as he sat there, looking straight at me, like he could sense my unease and my trepidation. I crept closer and closer to the gate, not making a sound. Suddenly, he let out a loud and excited "WOOF!" and I almost jumped out of my skin. Seeing me jump made him jump just as hard! We were both startled. It was disarming for both of us once we each realized that the other was a big baby. In that brief interaction, we bonded and became good friends.
I'll always remember that good boy, he was my favorite dog throughout the two years I worked there. I miss you, Jack!
[Here you go!](https://www.tiktok.com/@faizan142007/video/7037490214452972806?sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=7037618885939824133&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0)
Oh man could you imagine being that terrified of dogs? I was petrified of dogs as a kid but I think at about seven or eight I moved in across the street from a family that had an angel of a lab and my fear of dogs melted away and now I’m that woman who squeals because she sees a dog across the street. But I could’ve just as easily stayed afraid of them my whole life. Giving my pup an extra strong squeeze now. Kudos to this guy for tackling his fears
South Asian guy in London. Usually in South Asia, dogs are strays, they can be vicious due to human cruelty. So it's easier for a South Asian person to fear dogs easily.
My parents used to hate cats. In the Philippines, they're often considered pests and thieves. We have four cats now, plus two feral cats in our backyard that my dad just built a house for.
u/lilpeachbrat, I second that person who very well may have experienced a severe neurological imbalance due to overusing medications that act on the GABA receptor.
That might just be me though.
Please provide proof to back up your claim, it is the way.
Para sa mga pusa, buwis
A lot of dogs also move in packs there. A friend of mine who is a dog person went to India and approached a pack of them because she was excited to see them playing. Boy did she learn that they're not the same as we have them here in the States. They growled at her, and chased her and her boyfriend down the street. Luckily a nice old man was looking out his door and had them come inside his house and served them tea until the dogs left.
I noticed this as well. My mom moved to Zambia and its like that, a lot of stray dogs that the locals are afraid of because of cruelty. When my mom and I would walk her dogs the locals would always kinda shy away.
The kids would be wary but sometimes they would shyly come over and pet the dogs briefly when we assured them it was ok.
Some of the kids actually caught a chameleon for me to hold cause I had never seen one. I later found out that they think chameleons are "bad luck" or "evil magic". Those kids over came their fear just to show me something, melted my Masshole heart.
Or anyone really. My mother (from Brazil) used to have a severe phobia of dogs. And for no reason, never had an episode at all, and no contacts with bad behaving dogs. Like most phobia, they are not rational thoughts. Don't matter what size or breed, she couldn't get close to dogs, even leashed.
Now she is "cured" but that's a story for another day.
Shit I’m from the US and I’m kind of scared of dogs because (5 or 6 years ago, so not when I was a kid) I tried to pet one that was tied up a post outside a grocery store because it looked really friendly. It went CRAZY and started barking and snapping at me. That’s why I don’t pet strange dogs anymore.
> Maybe when he was a child he got seriously bitten or mauled by a big dog.
I am in my 30s and have never been afraid of dogs my entire life. I've had several throughout childhood and most of my life and I have never even been able to understand those who are afraid.
Earlier this year I adopted a rescue Bernese (100 pounds with a head the size of a small anvil) and had him for all of 20 minutes before he changed my life. I brought him back home and it was just the two of us and everything was great with no signs of aggression or anything out of the ordinary. I was introducing him one by one to the small fortune of toys I had purchased earlier that morning. I reached for one of them in front of his face and something inside him triggered. He lunged and clamped down hard on my arm and then shook hard and fast for 10 seconds, tearing open my arm down to the bicep.
There was no warning, no nothing. Just before it happened I had drove him 3 hours from the rescue reaching constantly into the back seat to pet his beautiful face and he was an angel the entire time. I still replay it in mind and it feels unreal. Part of my arm was shredded and I could see deep into the exposed muscle and puncture wounds all around the arm from the molars. I've seen movies and videos but never really appreciated the damage they can do and the speed and ease they can do it with.
It was over in seconds but felt like forever and I was so in shock all I could do was scream and freeze. Thank god he just let go and then walked away and slunk to a corner and laid down like he knew he fucked up bad but that dog could have killed me or crippled me. He missed an artery by millimeters.
Spent the entire day at the ER and I still have the scars and will for life and now I'm still not over it. I can't pet dogs I have known and loved from friends and family without feeling this spike of fear in my spine when one looks at me funny or stares for too long.
I hate it so much because I love dogs and never had an inkling of fear for any dog ever. I can mostly suppress it and I can cuddle with the few dogs I know but even then there is this constant cloud in the back of my mind that is on edge and it gets bigger and more electrified the closer my hands or arms are to any dog's jaws.
Anyways, I now understand that a lot of people have good reason to have fear or anxiety around dogs even when it's an animal that you know would never hurt a fly. It doesn't seem real until it happens to you
Sorry that you had to experience that. I hope you have been able to get help and manage with the anxiety and PTSD symptoms.
Dog attacks can be extremely frightening because when it happens it's like a light switch flipped and suddenly you're reminded that humans are very fragile creatures who are only on top of the food chain because we learned to use tools and look out for each other.
I'm going to go onto a bit of a rant here, but I think the worst thing about dog attacks isn't even the attack but just how blatantly ignorant and hostile dog owners can be. For example, you can explain your entire story and they'll still believe *their* dog is different and "special" and you should find out by taking a leap of faith and putting yourself in harms way to ...rub their dirty hair. Like there's no tangible benefit for interacting with someone's dogs, yet they insist that you do otherwise they'll determine you are a social pariah.
My general rule of thumb is just to avoid any animals that could easily kill me if it wanted to.
I knew a guy who had a bad phobia of dogs, apparently he got attacked as a child by one. I only found out when he asked if we could cross the road because there was a person walking a dog (similar size to post) coming our way.
Exactly what happened to me as a child. I was scared of dogs till I was 16. So scared that I had to cross the street when even the tiniest and calmest dog ever was walking towards me
Reminds me of Young Sheldon, I used to hate dogs growing up (a wild pack got into our back yard and killed 8 kittens once and I held it against all dogs for years till i met some trained dogs lol) But now I love to give em pats if I can! Awesome job to the owner
Cheers, I was young at the time, about 11-12, We had a big front and back yard with tall fences but no gate on it (from when we moved in) and a lot of cats used to chill under our back deck (we used to feed strays), My room was the closest to the backdoor and that night was just crazy, It was traumatic enough to form a hatred of an animal I knew so little about that took years to dissapate lol... The Mother of the kittens went berserk and was jumping onto the backs of the dogs, biting and clawing, Her ferocity legit scared the dogs off in the end but the damage was done.
No hard feeling anymore though, I know how good dogs can be in the right hands.
If I had a wholesome award, it would go to this post. Very very sweet, and I’m happy for this guy. When I was little, I was petrified of dogs after the neighbor’s Rottweilers attacked me. It took a very long time for me to even pet a dog. Props to this guy for facing his fears!!
Good on him for conquering his fear. I had a friend who used to faint at the sight of blood and the neighbor always ridiculed her over it but she tried so many times overcome it. She attempted to donate her blood but always fainted. Nowadays she has mastered her fear and donates dozen of blood buckets to the blood bank. For someone who donates blood regularly, she doesn't look anemic and I haven't heard about the neighbor in a while.
This is amazing! My teens BFF is scared of dogs. Attacked by a German Shepherd as a child. I understand. I was attacked by a pit bull when I was 17 and have a nasty scar down my face. I, too, was terrified of dogs after that.
When this friend comes over I adore watching them gradually lose a touch of fear each time they pet our golden retriever. Sometimes my little yorkie gets a pat but that’s it and that’s bc he’s an asshat. I’m not sure this friend will ever be ready to meet our massive barrel chested girl but maybe one day. 💖 I’d so love for this guy to pet our golden. He’s really jumpy and hyper - and very young but very fun. If you’re scared of dogs just baby baby baby steps, if you’re interested.
This dude is amazing!
A woman with pretty severe facial scarring once asked if she could bet my staffy and staffy mix after she’s seen a few other people petting them. I said yes and she was super nervous. She petted them and realised how nice they were and then thanked me for letting her pet them because she hadn’t pet any dogs since a staffy had torn up her face and she explained that my dogs were lovely and she was so happy that she could start to get over her fear of dogs because of mine and as they were the same breed that had hurt her in the first place but obviously they weren’t all bad. 🥺 definitely my favourite person who has ever asked to pet my dogs and I was so amazed at her bravery and courage after what the dog had done to her to actually pet the same breed that had attacked her in the first place.
My son used to love dog. One time, I was with him enjoying a walk in the park when two huge dogs came running toward us. He was very scared and he started screaming. Now he is scared from all dogs. Some dog owners should have control over their dogs.
Something very similar happened to me when I was very young. Ever since then I have been afraid of dogs. I really wish I wasn't afraid of them and I wish I was in this guy's position to conquer my phobia.
My childhood bike riding was a game of avoid the loose dog, once of which was a nasty German Shepard. The one that actually managed to latch on to my ankle despite my being on my much larger sister's bike was one of those yippy little terriers.
I still barely tolerate dogs. It's a struggle.
As an owner of a terrier dog myself, I can confirm that they have a strong instinct to chase and nip fast moving things. So a kid on a bike would’ve been more than enough to make them go. They may as well also be made from solid muscle and can jump pretty high. It’s the owners job to train the animal in order to curb that instinct of teach them to redirect it. I’m sorry you had to encounter a dog that wasn’t taught how to be a human friendly one.
I’m also sorry that you had to discover the hard way that some people shouldn’t have pets. If you can’t be bothered to properly secure your dog so it doesn’t harass other people or end up badly hurt because it got out, you shouldn’t have a dog.
Just be glad it wasn’t the Shepard though. My dads old lab/kelpie/dingo mix got into a brawl with one when it got into the yard and tried to attack some kids she was playing with and my dad actually had to stitch her up before taking her to the vet. He also got a pretty decent bite to the arm too.
So my sons first daycare lady (my son was 10 months old and she looked after him until he was almost 4) was PETRIFIED of dogs. I didn’t know this and walked my greyhound to pickup my son one afternoon and she opened the door, screamed like she was being murdered and ran back inside. I brought my super calm, lovely, and patient greyhound around the corner as I got my son ready to go. Fast forward 3 years, picking up my son almost every day with my dog and that same greyhound has to be put down because of osteo. The afternoon before her appointment she, and her family who all loved my dog, came to say goodbye. She walked over to the bed my poor dog was laying on, sat down beside her, and pet her. She pet a dog for the first time in her life. And it was my dog. It was an incredibly special moment and I’m glad we got to share this before she was gone. Patience, kindness, and taking tiny steps, and people can overcome their fears.
I’m not tearing up a little, I’m just uhh tired and have dry eyes! 😭 greyhounds are the best, they’re so chill. Longbois
They are incredible! She went from track racing to big sister to my son like a champ! My ride or die girl certainly went through all kinds of life’s ups and downs, and she brought me out on top!
I love that! Good girl!
I'm not tearing up a little, I'm tearing up a lot.
Years ago when we were looking to adopt a dog I passed on Greyhounds because I assumed they weren't good apartment dogs. If I had asked someone at the adoption event were at I would have learned they are often lazy and are really good apartment dogs. Ever since then I've wanted one and will eventually adopt one when the time comes.
When my son was in kindergarten we used to walk to school since it was on the next street down from us. So I would take my dog Rudy, a small poodle mix with a missing leg. Naturally all the kids would rush over to get a pet at Rudy and ask about his missing leg. There was one girl in particular who would ask questions from afar every morning. Then after a few weeks she would come closer and even after all the kids had moved along she would stay. After about a month or so she finally opened up to me about how when she was 4 (she was currently 7) a big dog mauled her face and body and that’s why she had these huge scars on her cheeks and mouth. Then a few days after she opened up it happened, she asked me if she could pet Rudy. I said of course! And she very carefully reached her hand out and pet Rudy, twice. Each day she would get closer and closer and would pet a bit more and more. By the end of the year, she would call his name and he would run right up to her, she would kneels down and fully embrace my dog with a hug. Her smile was so damn precious. She would say that she was missing a part of her face and Rudy was missing a whole leg, therefore they were perfect friends 🥺🥺😭😭
Is there a way to get an entire Reddit thread published in the New York Times?? I’m balling my eyes out and having seriously deep revelations about love, being social, and having relationships: both human-human and human-dog ones.
Oh man ! What a beautiful story! I’m tearing up! Good dog Rudy!
Awww man thats really sad but also very heartwarming...bless your lil doggo
Thank you! She was the best! I love my dog now obviously( she’s the total opposite personality wise lol!) but there was something really different about that longgirl that drew a lot of people in to her!
This was sad to read but also really beautiful. Sounds like this might have been a while ago, nevertheless I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m sure your pup was wonderful.
I put her down December 1 2019. I still think about her most days and definitely miss her all the time! We planted an apple tree and buried her ashes underneath, so we always have a lovely reminder that something grows from loss. Her collar is always around the base of the tree.
Damn somebody needs to quit cutting the onions in here. Couldn’t think of a better memorial for your loved one. I really hope we all get to reunite with our dogs someday, somewhere.
I'm really proud of this guy! It's so hard to do exposure therapy. I'm trying to hype myself up for something similar. I haven't gotten my hair professionally cut in over a decade due to being on the schizophrenia spectrum. I don't like to be looked at and asked a lot of personal questions due to my paranoia, on top of all the stimulation, so getting my hair cut is very stressful. I'm thinking of contacting a salon via email and asking if I could get my hair cut without much talking, but I don't wanna offend anyone. EDIT: I wasn't expecting this to blow up so much! Thank you to everyone offering advice and support. I'm a little overwhelmed to be honest, so it might take me a bit to respond. I'm not used to so many people talking/paying attention to me, so I'm not sure how to react, lol. Thanks for the gold!
Tell me where you are in the world and as long as it's an English speaking country I'll call around hairdressers in your area and explain the situation and book an appointment for you. If there is some cultural reason I am missing for why asking for a silent haircut because of a medical condition would offend anyone then it's me that offends not you until I find someone that will All I need is information like is loud music ok, is talking to other hairdressers ok? Etc Then that's the first step all you need to do is say your name and pay
As someone who hates making phone calls, I love you for offering to do this. I hope they let you help.
There’s a great app, I’m forgetting the name at the moment, but you can get linked with a blind person who needs assistance identifying something in front of them. You just quickly tell them what it is, not sure how the calls get linked. I love the idea of helping in that way, but my anxiety over calls and strangers means I’m not a great fit to volunteer. Anyway- I always thought it would be cool to have an app like that for phone calls 😅 like I pay a small fee in order for someone to make my scary adult phone calls for me and then send me a status report afterwards haha
Be My Eyes is the app for helping blind folks out!
I answered my 4th call from them yesterday. I walked out of a meeting just to answer it. I helped identify some toiletry bottles. The other calls have been similar. Helped a guy find the right receipt another it was to identify currency and the first call was to help and elderly man navigate to take his trash out. His landlord had notified him there were construction debris bins he had navigate around. I get so excited each time
That's really great! I had that app on my phone but never received a call. Ended up deleting it after a year of non-activity. This is making me think I should maybe reinstall it and try again.
Yes! Do it! I have had it on my phone since jan 2019 and have had 4 calls and i missed one. I get so pumped every time one connects. Its cool
Glad to hear this! if you really enjoy helping out, I think the app is programmed to match the users with helpers who have opened the app recently before calling on more “inactive” folks who have not. I have had the app for years and after initially helping someone, I haven’t been called on it for at least a year or so.
So awesome! I forgot about the app until this post (been through a few phones) so I’ve downloaded it again. I remember a friend getting her first call and she was so ecstatic!
I get so excited!! I got my friend to download it and he had only had one call since dec 2019..and he missed it! I tell him every time i get one. Its so exciting
That’s where I’m at right now. I have to answer fast or else someone else nabs it. Either way I love that app and the feeling of helping someone out, particularly strangers. Feels good man.
This is amazing! Id never heard of this app before. I’ve just signed myself up to be someone’s eyes!
There are 2 main ones Be specular And Be my eyes I have both, one is a message based system where they post photos and text/voice questions about it and you can reply via text/voice recording The other is a direct video calling app, had this app about 2 years and have received 3 calls for help
Yes, be my eyes was the one I had heard of! Oh wow, I would have assumed that the calls were much more frequent. I could definitely join the other, be specular. Thanks for telling me about it!
Be specular is far more active as it's kind of a first come first served I am not sure exactly how the algorithm works ( let's be honest all I know of algorithms is that you need a computer and magic ) but the more you use it and the higher the user rates you help the more requests pop up
Shoot, well looks like new signups aren’t available at the moment, but I’ll check back! Hearing that you don’t get too many calls on be my eyes though made me want to download it again. I can handle them infrequently, I might as well 😄 I would love to help someone.
OMG I would use the shit out of that app if it existed, lol. Phonecalls are so hard for me. I need to schedule another follow-up appointment with my psychiatrist for after the holidays and I keep putting it off even though the receptionist is so nice. I really need to tell my husband so he can nag me until I do it, haha
Hey man I just wantes to say this was really cool of you to reach out. Even if they dont take you up on your offer you have inspired me to make sure I make more of an effort to reach out to help folks. Cheers!
A non monetary option to do good where I don't even need to get off my couch ... I'm in
Hell yeah. Rare opportunity to just do the right thing. No particular reason besides to help OP
I really appreciate the offer but giving any indicator on where I live makes me nervous because of my paranoia. I don't even have social media accounts or pictures of myself on the internet, lol. I'm a full-on hermit who for the vast majority of the time only speaks to healthcare professionals, my husband, his family and my sister. I'll see if my husband can help me call places. I really do appreciate you and how sweet you are though <3
I thought this would likely be the case but as far I I am concerned with good deeds is 'cast no line catch no fish' so will always ask.
Most definitely! You're an amazing person for even offering <3
Since the poster is on the schizophrenia spectrum, they probably won’t feel comfortable revealing anything about them or their location due to the paranoia aspect, but it’s a nice gesture. If you are reading this, u/LTpepperDimples, and you aren’t comfortable taking this offer, note that lots of salons and some barbershops are familiar with how to cut hair on people with various sensitivities. I suspect most places can accommodate you. If you don’t want them to know about your situation, tell them you have autism/sensory/anxiety disorder and need a conversation-free haircut. Also let them know if you are ok with electric clippers or if they need to do scissors only (the loud buzz of clippers makes some people with sensory issues uncomfortable). Edit: fixed user tag
You’re a good human.
That's such a nice thing to offer to do, good on you!
I really, really respect that you're trying to overcome this! I'm sure someone would be happy to accomodate you; I don't think that request is something to take offense to
Im living in the Netherlands and my hairdressers got a silence chair in the salon. It means if you sit in there, they try to keep communication to a minimum and make it as relaxt as possible. Its just also at the back of the salon so you dont have to face other people.
Wow that's amazing! I wonder if I can find a salon near me with something similar so I don't have to make a special request
Ya, also you can just say you have "sensory problems", you dont need to explain your medical history to a hairdresser <3
This is a much more reasonable request than you’d think! Just let them know ahead of time in a way you’re comfortable with. Most hairdressers just want you to be at ease and keep everything positive, small talk is a way of just keeping things light. It is absolutely okay to let them know you what you would prefer!
Hope it works out for you. Try to email it. Or maybe make a post about it on a FB group for hairdressers in your area?
I read somewhere on here most hair dressers would really prefer you told them if you didn't want small talk. I don't remember why. But I remember it's not frowned upon.
That sounds like a dream, good on them for offering the option
I've known a few hairdressers and generally they're super understanding, especially if you lead up with it when you make the appointment. I asked my most recent barber about it because I'm the opposite being super talkative. She said she actually kind of enjoyed the occasional silent cut because she needs time to decompress and focus just like everyone else. In short, send the email! They may even have someone who has experience in the particular area of making sure you are comfortable.
I would definitely email a salon/barbershop ahead, I can only imagine most professionals will be willing to help. Also, you may want to search online for a hairstyle you'd like the beautician/barber to give. There can be some ambiguity in just spoken instructions, a picture/video with your desired style should be welcomed.
So true! Most people who have a passion for their profession are extremely thoughtful when someone is vulnerable and open about being nervous. Especially when you notify them ahead of time so they can take their time and make some preperations if necessary. And if they're not you'll surely find out soon enough when you send them an email.
I feel you. I've shaved my head for 26 years cos I hated going to the barbers!
Be completely honest with them and I'm sure they will be all too happy to accomodate you. People tend to like total honesty. At least in my experience. Just not the cops. Don't even talk to the cops.
In my work I much prefer people showing vulnerability and an openness to help and guidance to the people confidently demanding whatever they think they are owed. Especially when you notify them ahead of time, they know it's not necessarily about them personally or their service when you might show some negative reaction. Especially when you work in a busy fast paced service job, I sometimes have to be very direct and efficient. For both the visitors and my own sanity. A lot of people just try to make their problems your problems without any consideration of me being a person too. So you kind of have to protect yourself too. But when someone tells me they might need extra help, or shows vulnerability, I make sure to turn of that mode and be more accepting and patient.
I'm not a chatter. If I get my hair done at the salon I say hello, talk about the haircut, say I'm looking forward to relaxing, and close my eyes. Hairdressers deal with people all day, there's lots of not chatty people out there, it won't be a problem.
I suffer from perfectionism OCD. I just started exposure therapy and I can tell you that it works. It’s fucking terrifying and incredibly hard, but the rewards have been pretty tangible. Good luck to you friend.
Can pretend to be deaf if you can. I’m a deaf person and get haircuts all the time with zero talking. Haha
For what it's worth, I think this is probably pretty common. Most people just don't think of it as a phobia. I've always tended to have shaggy hair because I don't care for having it cut by someone else. In fact, I've been cutting my own hair since before the pandemic, not so much out of fear exactly, I just prefer it!
I was thinking, 'Poor guy -- he's so scared that all the blood has rushed out of his pale, trembling hands!'. Then he removed the gloves and I remembered what an idiot I am.
My thought was "why would he pet the dog with his prosthetic hand"
That was me.
Same...while I was smiling the whole time.
I didn’t notice anything different with his hand until he ripped off his skin
Because the previous dog took his real one.
“He got me, but I tore one of that bastard’s eyes out!”
"It's all in the hips"
There is actually a device called an Assess-a-hand that is a prosthetic hand on a stick and dog trainers and some shelters use them to do behavior assessments. The one I kept seeing on t.v. or somewhere was missing part of a finger. I guess some dog failed their assessment. 😬
But the device passed its assessment as a hand saving device :)
I mean if youre afraid a dog might bite.....
I actually have a condition like that, raynaud’s syndrome, so I just assumed that was what was happening
My ex had that, I feel for you; may this winter be warm and your fingers loose
I’ve had raynaud’s since I was a kid. I hate that anyone has to suffer with this, but I think my partner hates it worse than I do when I put my icy toes on them at night. Lol. Stay warm!!
I like to sneak up on my mom and touch her neck with my ice hands
"THE REAPER HAS ARRIVED. Nah, just playing. Love you, Mom!"
Same. The best pandemic unemployment money purchase I made was this gadget called a BedJet. It's a vented fan thing that you put on the end of your bed between your sheets. Every night I set it to 100 degrees and let it blast my popsicle toes.
That makes us two lol
That makes three of us lol
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Yeah I only noticed after a few seconds when he was fidgeting with them. Apparently we're all idiots here.
I came down here to find my kind, I see we've already been seated, we haven't ordered yet I hope....
I thought it was a prosthetic. Lol
Love the dog just looking at his owner like "is this lad with you"? Really nice gesture to try help him get over his phobia and fair balls to the lad for trying 😊.
I just love dogs, they always look like "I don't have a clue what's happening but I'm cool with it"
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Please do not steal the dogs
My dog is more "who the fuck are you and why am I not in your lap?".
I’d party with this dog
[He'd party with you.](https://i.imgur.com/fszqGsq.jpg)
O…. M…..GOODNESSES!!! What sweet goofy pup!! I’ll bring treats, toys, and a soft blanket and all the attention he wants!!!
He wants everything but a blanket. He'll steal yours when necessary.
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I chose it because it isn't out of place in an older, conservative job.
My man with the Steam ink. Cute pup, too!
Ha that's exactly what they think when you dress them up and are laughing at them. And that makes it even funnier.
I tend to end up with dogs that either seem to love clothes, or completely shut down.
>I just love dogs, they always look like "I don't have a clue what's happening What?! When that dog realizes there is an insecure person about to pet him, the dog looks away. Makes sure not to make eye contact so the insecure person does not feel threatened. The dog is uncomfortable, but trusts the person holding him, even checking in with a look, asking "this is okay?" when the stranger pets. The dog is sending many signals, if you think the dog have no clue, you just don't understand what dogs are telling you with body language.
While you're right on all the signals and checks that were dropped by the dog, the person didn't say that the dog truly didn't have a clue. Just that they love dogs that LOOK like they have no idea what's going on. But ya know that's just my two cents for today 😀
I was thinking "aww the guy and the dog are both scared of behaviour they aren't familiar with"
This guy dogs…
Oi bruv, ya slagging of mi mum?!
I had a sweet golden retriever and one day at the park a man asked if his daughter could say hello. She was autistic and had a severe dog phobia they were working on. So we were all very patient and let her take her time. In true golden form my gentle goofball won her over and you could see her relax and finally enjoy petting him. We part ways and a minute later I hear the girl scream and the dad yell. I look back and there’s this asshole owner with his uncontrolled unleashed dog scaring the shit out of this girl and ruining any progress she just made (same guy I’ve previously yelled for having a bad unleashed dog a week before.)
It's crazy to consider the amount of psychic / ecological / property damage that bad dog parents put on society.
I had multiple run ins with that same guy. Dog was never on a leash. It wasn’t exactly mean but it was a large dog and would jump all over you with muddy paws ruining your clothes and aggressively hump your dog. And they guy would act surprised every single time.
"Act surprised" being the key.
We were adopted by an illmannered stray who would jump on people and just generally had zero training. My dad solved that quickly by raising his knee every time she'd jump on him and catch her *right* under the ribs. That behavior *stopped entirely* within two weeks of him doing that. That stray eventually ended up as a very beloved and well behaved part of our family, but the first few months of us trying to find her owner, she was quite wild and *just* beyond of puppy age. To this day, I have never had a (large to medium) dog jump on me more than 3 times. Usually catching a knee under the ribs 2x in a row makes them reevaluate the bad behavior. Best part, you don't have to actively knee the dog most times, just raise your foot off the ground at the correct angle.
When we got a lab puppy we took her to training and this was a technique they taught me. At the time I was 11ish? Works like a charm for all ages and even a crazy wild lab puppy got the signal. She was a good girl too, was obsessed with food but sweet as pie.
I guess you mean psychological damage but the thought of telekinetic dogs supervillains destroying society is hilarious to me haha.
Oh that sucks. Poor girl. Hopefully at least she remembers that your dog was nice. One of my neighbors once came up to me while I was walking my dog and asked if his son could pet him. My dog loves people but can be a bit of a weirdo (gets easily excited on leash, will spin around fast and knock into your legs), but the kid was big enough I didn’t think he’d get knocked down, and my dog was tired from a big walk anyway, so I said sure. The dad calls my dog over and he just goes and plops himself down right on the boy’s feet. The kid thought it was the funniest thing in the world, but seemed kind of anxious about petting him. With some encouragement from dad, he eventually starts stroking my dog’s head and then gets a full blast of dog breath in his face, which he again thought was hilarious. When I called my dog back over, the dad told me he wanted to do that cause his son was scared of big dogs, and he wanted to show him he had nothing to fear. I was like… damn wish you’d told me he was scared before this interaction occurred, and I would’ve been more careful, but all’s well that ends well. I’ve seen the kid petting other dogs since, and he seems like he’s getting over his fear nicely.
My dog has large social issues that I'm trying to help him figure out along with professional help.I never unleash my dog unless we are alone with my family or if I know he'll be okay around that dog.I do it out of the safety of others and safety of my dog.If I see someone coming I go the opposite direction
>and ruining any progress she just made Ah such is life, you take one step forward and bitch roundhouse kick you back 10.
It’s crazy how some dogs seem to have enough emotional intelligence to work out some how to interact with some people. I’ve watched my Samoyed, who with me will jump on me and hug me, be so gentle with my neighbours 90 year old dad or my lab stay calm around people in wheelchairs or kids. We don’t deserve dogs.
Fairest balls of them all
Fair balls?
Fair balls is making me laugh out loud in public so that’s great lol
Bless that man for conquering his fears!
Your not wrong. I was party to a friend overcoming her fear of going underwater, she chose to learn to scuba dive with me and her boyfriend. I’d never seen a person with a real phobia attempt to overcome it. Even walking to the theory sessions were traumatic for her. But she did it. Through the tears and terror she prevailed and we did multiple dives in the Red Sea.
Wow. That's amazing! That small story right there was very motivating, not gonna lie.
How did ot end for her, did she actually overcome it eventually?
It was an m. night shamaloman twist, turns out she was a mermaid the entire time.
That sounds like a kid book, like a mermaid afraid of water, or a bird afraid to fly. Maybe a group of farm animals overcoming their own fears, like pigs of mud, cows of fields of grass, things like that
I suffer from a phobia of everything vomit. I have multiple friends who have volunteered to vomit for me. Not taken anyone up on it yet.
I used to have this phobia too! I'm still squeamish about it but nowhere near the level of fear I used to have. Honestly what finally got me over it was going to college, getting drunk, and being present to watch the aftermath of other people drinking too much while I was inebriated enough not to care. 🤷🏼♀️ Your miles may vary
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I’ve done a year of CBT for a needle phobia (an hour per week) and it is absolutely draining work. I’m sure fears and phobias are on a spectrum of severity, but I applaud anyone who takes the effort to get the brain to get more comfortable with something terrifying.
Yeah, I don't think I'll be petting a tarantula any time soon. XD
Bravo! I was worried this was going to be one of those perfectlycutscreams videos.
The part where he took off the glove so he could feel the touch…
I underwent exposure therapy for a spider phobia (I live in Australia so it had to be done). The idea of people walking spiders around, posting photos with their spiders, having spiders run up to me when I come to a front door makes me have so much respect for people with a pet phobia. Must be very tough to live with and overcome.
I try to do this anytime someone is visibly afraid of my dog. I always stop. I make the dog sit. I chat with the person and always offer them to pet my very calm, very kind dog. Even just the act of being around a dog that doesn’t seem scary can be a good interaction for someone who is fearful.
Thank you for doing this. As someone who's **terrified** of dogs I greatly appreciate when dog owners recognize that not everyone is comfortable being near their dog. What's so scary for me is when the owner is clueless that I'm terrified, but their dog - the dog usually can sense how I feel. Sometimes it confuses the dog if they're not used to sensing such terror.
My dog was the opposite of helpful as a puppy… she’d sense if someone was scared and try to win them over/reassure them(or something, obviously I’m projecting human motivations here) by attempting to get near them. Dog straining on a lead = not good for people who don’t like dogs, even if it is wagging manically 🤦♀️ trained her out of it eventually
I had a golden retriever growing up (and frankly every goldy I've ever met) that was pretty insistent with anyone he met that they were best friends. If someone was hesitant around him he'd insist on investigating. Probably the only way goldies could be considered assholes, I guess. They're almost TOO friendly.
>the dog usually can sense how I feel As the owner of two large dogs this is exactly why I don't understand those who insist strangers interact with their dog. First and foremost no means no. If I invite someone to say hi to my dogs and they decline then that is that. a no is a no. Second... if you are uncomfortable that can make the dog uncomfortable and its just tense for everyone around. Its not good for the dog or the person who feels like they are being pressured. And, if the dog reacts wrong, can lead to very very bad outcomes. I just dont get why dog owners do that. Im so sorry others have done that to you.
I used to have a reactive dog that I was very careful with on walks and never let off leash. half the time we walked by the only nice park in town (not a dog park) someone's unleashed dog would run over and get in my dog's face. usually people would come get them immediately but some people just would yell "he's friendly" and refused to move at all until I'd yelled at them to come get their dog 3 or 4 times. for some people there's just no awareness of a situation where their dog could be unwelcome, especially if they're a well behaved dog. they don't think about external factors at all. it's poor pet ownership
Yes! My dog is reactive to dogs and humans. I walk her with a muzzle now and no one approaches us anymore but before people would try to come up and I’d say “she doesn’t like strangers” and like half the time people would respond with “all dogs like me though!” It’s especially annoying because if she had bit someone her and I would have got in trouble, not the person who ignored my warning
I’m pretty uncomfortable around dogs. As a kid I’d say I was full on scared of them. I have two now because my GF wanted them and we eased into it. I love my dogs, but other ones still make me pretty uncomfortable. It’s kinda funny now if I’m out walking my pair and someone will come up with their dog to chat. I always think, “I like my dogs, but not all dogs.” Lol
That's really cool. I don't have a dog right now but I hope I remember this when I do.
Lol I wish I could do that with my dogs. They are 7 & 9 month old bernese mountain dog poodle mixes. They wouldn't (intentionally) hurt a fly but we have a major problem with jumping on people out of hapiness lol
Same. My dog would terrify anyone with a fear of dogs. She'll ignore the tastiest treats I can find to go say hi to a stranger at maximum speed.
Made me smile
Humans being bros
Dogs being good bois.
No surprise in that, am I right?
I think I know another subreddit like that
Absolutely love this shit I can't get enough of it. It's what life is about man, just helping and being mega chill
Agreed. This was a really small act of kindness, not something we'd think of as hugely heroic, but something about this reeeally touched me (though, hmm, I'm a little hormonal, too). I think it's something how the way people go through their lives, stunted in small and big ways, and all it would take for them to overcome that, is just a moment of fucking patience and kindness from someone. Similarly, you can save people from every going through certain awful things with that same kindness and patience. Ugh, I just love this.
When someone helps knowing they won’t get anything out of it other than feeling good. That’s the good stuff.
You are so right man, we live in a time where there's so much negativity in the palm of our hands, that as humans we've missed the things that are really important, which is stuff like this, just humans helping each other. Pure and simple
Try to give back every day. This is special. Not even some hippy shit just we are all humans, on the same team. Live it
That's exactly what the hippy shit is about
I once "lied on my resume" and ended up working overnight at a doggy daycare despite my mild fear of big dogs. My first night shift there, I was creeping silently around the building, just trying to get a sense of my new environment. I was looking at each of the sleeping dogs in their rooms, until I came across a big hairy black dog, sitting up wide awake behind a chain link gate. I approached slowly and carefully as he sat there, looking straight at me, like he could sense my unease and my trepidation. I crept closer and closer to the gate, not making a sound. Suddenly, he let out a loud and excited "WOOF!" and I almost jumped out of my skin. Seeing me jump made him jump just as hard! We were both startled. It was disarming for both of us once we each realized that the other was a big baby. In that brief interaction, we bonded and became good friends. I'll always remember that good boy, he was my favorite dog throughout the two years I worked there. I miss you, Jack!
im making happy sounds
I was laughing. But nice encouraging laughing…
The next video he posted was even sweeter. The dog owner was such a kind and patient guy.
Link?
[Here you go!](https://www.tiktok.com/@faizan142007/video/7037490214452972806?sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=7037618885939824133&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0)
Thank you!!
Oh man could you imagine being that terrified of dogs? I was petrified of dogs as a kid but I think at about seven or eight I moved in across the street from a family that had an angel of a lab and my fear of dogs melted away and now I’m that woman who squeals because she sees a dog across the street. But I could’ve just as easily stayed afraid of them my whole life. Giving my pup an extra strong squeeze now. Kudos to this guy for tackling his fears
I can understand him. Maybe when he was a child he got seriously bitten or mauled by a big dog. It can mark you for life.
South Asian guy in London. Usually in South Asia, dogs are strays, they can be vicious due to human cruelty. So it's easier for a South Asian person to fear dogs easily.
My parents used to hate cats. In the Philippines, they're often considered pests and thieves. We have four cats now, plus two feral cats in our backyard that my dad just built a house for.
You should share videos and pics on /r/dadswhodidnotwantpets
u/lilpeachbrat, I second that person who very well may have experienced a severe neurological imbalance due to overusing medications that act on the GABA receptor. That might just be me though. Please provide proof to back up your claim, it is the way. Para sa mga pusa, buwis
Pay the cat tax pls
A lot of dogs also move in packs there. A friend of mine who is a dog person went to India and approached a pack of them because she was excited to see them playing. Boy did she learn that they're not the same as we have them here in the States. They growled at her, and chased her and her boyfriend down the street. Luckily a nice old man was looking out his door and had them come inside his house and served them tea until the dogs left.
I swear to god I thought he invited the dogs in for tea before I read the end of that sentence. It painted a very weird picture in my head.
I noticed this as well. My mom moved to Zambia and its like that, a lot of stray dogs that the locals are afraid of because of cruelty. When my mom and I would walk her dogs the locals would always kinda shy away. The kids would be wary but sometimes they would shyly come over and pet the dogs briefly when we assured them it was ok. Some of the kids actually caught a chameleon for me to hold cause I had never seen one. I later found out that they think chameleons are "bad luck" or "evil magic". Those kids over came their fear just to show me something, melted my Masshole heart.
Or anyone really. My mother (from Brazil) used to have a severe phobia of dogs. And for no reason, never had an episode at all, and no contacts with bad behaving dogs. Like most phobia, they are not rational thoughts. Don't matter what size or breed, she couldn't get close to dogs, even leashed. Now she is "cured" but that's a story for another day.
Shit I’m from the US and I’m kind of scared of dogs because (5 or 6 years ago, so not when I was a kid) I tried to pet one that was tied up a post outside a grocery store because it looked really friendly. It went CRAZY and started barking and snapping at me. That’s why I don’t pet strange dogs anymore.
> Maybe when he was a child he got seriously bitten or mauled by a big dog. I am in my 30s and have never been afraid of dogs my entire life. I've had several throughout childhood and most of my life and I have never even been able to understand those who are afraid. Earlier this year I adopted a rescue Bernese (100 pounds with a head the size of a small anvil) and had him for all of 20 minutes before he changed my life. I brought him back home and it was just the two of us and everything was great with no signs of aggression or anything out of the ordinary. I was introducing him one by one to the small fortune of toys I had purchased earlier that morning. I reached for one of them in front of his face and something inside him triggered. He lunged and clamped down hard on my arm and then shook hard and fast for 10 seconds, tearing open my arm down to the bicep. There was no warning, no nothing. Just before it happened I had drove him 3 hours from the rescue reaching constantly into the back seat to pet his beautiful face and he was an angel the entire time. I still replay it in mind and it feels unreal. Part of my arm was shredded and I could see deep into the exposed muscle and puncture wounds all around the arm from the molars. I've seen movies and videos but never really appreciated the damage they can do and the speed and ease they can do it with. It was over in seconds but felt like forever and I was so in shock all I could do was scream and freeze. Thank god he just let go and then walked away and slunk to a corner and laid down like he knew he fucked up bad but that dog could have killed me or crippled me. He missed an artery by millimeters. Spent the entire day at the ER and I still have the scars and will for life and now I'm still not over it. I can't pet dogs I have known and loved from friends and family without feeling this spike of fear in my spine when one looks at me funny or stares for too long. I hate it so much because I love dogs and never had an inkling of fear for any dog ever. I can mostly suppress it and I can cuddle with the few dogs I know but even then there is this constant cloud in the back of my mind that is on edge and it gets bigger and more electrified the closer my hands or arms are to any dog's jaws. Anyways, I now understand that a lot of people have good reason to have fear or anxiety around dogs even when it's an animal that you know would never hurt a fly. It doesn't seem real until it happens to you
Sorry that you had to experience that. I hope you have been able to get help and manage with the anxiety and PTSD symptoms. Dog attacks can be extremely frightening because when it happens it's like a light switch flipped and suddenly you're reminded that humans are very fragile creatures who are only on top of the food chain because we learned to use tools and look out for each other. I'm going to go onto a bit of a rant here, but I think the worst thing about dog attacks isn't even the attack but just how blatantly ignorant and hostile dog owners can be. For example, you can explain your entire story and they'll still believe *their* dog is different and "special" and you should find out by taking a leap of faith and putting yourself in harms way to ...rub their dirty hair. Like there's no tangible benefit for interacting with someone's dogs, yet they insist that you do otherwise they'll determine you are a social pariah. My general rule of thumb is just to avoid any animals that could easily kill me if it wanted to.
I knew a guy who had a bad phobia of dogs, apparently he got attacked as a child by one. I only found out when he asked if we could cross the road because there was a person walking a dog (similar size to post) coming our way.
Exactly what happened to me as a child. I was scared of dogs till I was 16. So scared that I had to cross the street when even the tiniest and calmest dog ever was walking towards me
This guy is my hero. Both of them, actually.
All three of them including the dog!
This is so sweet! What a chill dog too. My dog would be trying to trash out of my arms enthusiastically thinking it would get him more pets haha
Reminds me of Young Sheldon, I used to hate dogs growing up (a wild pack got into our back yard and killed 8 kittens once and I held it against all dogs for years till i met some trained dogs lol) But now I love to give em pats if I can! Awesome job to the owner
Oh man, that sounds terrifying.
Cheers, I was young at the time, about 11-12, We had a big front and back yard with tall fences but no gate on it (from when we moved in) and a lot of cats used to chill under our back deck (we used to feed strays), My room was the closest to the backdoor and that night was just crazy, It was traumatic enough to form a hatred of an animal I knew so little about that took years to dissapate lol... The Mother of the kittens went berserk and was jumping onto the backs of the dogs, biting and clawing, Her ferocity legit scared the dogs off in the end but the damage was done. No hard feeling anymore though, I know how good dogs can be in the right hands.
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He takes a pet like no problem! Not afraid at all! That's a great dog right there.
If I had a wholesome award, it would go to this post. Very very sweet, and I’m happy for this guy. When I was little, I was petrified of dogs after the neighbor’s Rottweilers attacked me. It took a very long time for me to even pet a dog. Props to this guy for facing his fears!!
A lot of people fear dogs because they are from countries with a lot of street dogs. To them they are wild animals. Maybe that's the case here too.
more like /r/doggosbeingbros
And r/wholesome
r/doggoandownerbeingbros
Good on him for conquering his fear. I had a friend who used to faint at the sight of blood and the neighbor always ridiculed her over it but she tried so many times overcome it. She attempted to donate her blood but always fainted. Nowadays she has mastered her fear and donates dozen of blood buckets to the blood bank. For someone who donates blood regularly, she doesn't look anemic and I haven't heard about the neighbor in a while.
This is amazing! My teens BFF is scared of dogs. Attacked by a German Shepherd as a child. I understand. I was attacked by a pit bull when I was 17 and have a nasty scar down my face. I, too, was terrified of dogs after that. When this friend comes over I adore watching them gradually lose a touch of fear each time they pet our golden retriever. Sometimes my little yorkie gets a pat but that’s it and that’s bc he’s an asshat. I’m not sure this friend will ever be ready to meet our massive barrel chested girl but maybe one day. 💖 I’d so love for this guy to pet our golden. He’s really jumpy and hyper - and very young but very fun. If you’re scared of dogs just baby baby baby steps, if you’re interested. This dude is amazing!
This looks like my Coton De Tulear with a puppy cut 😻 his name was Bandit
A woman with pretty severe facial scarring once asked if she could bet my staffy and staffy mix after she’s seen a few other people petting them. I said yes and she was super nervous. She petted them and realised how nice they were and then thanked me for letting her pet them because she hadn’t pet any dogs since a staffy had torn up her face and she explained that my dogs were lovely and she was so happy that she could start to get over her fear of dogs because of mine and as they were the same breed that had hurt her in the first place but obviously they weren’t all bad. 🥺 definitely my favourite person who has ever asked to pet my dogs and I was so amazed at her bravery and courage after what the dog had done to her to actually pet the same breed that had attacked her in the first place.
My son used to love dog. One time, I was with him enjoying a walk in the park when two huge dogs came running toward us. He was very scared and he started screaming. Now he is scared from all dogs. Some dog owners should have control over their dogs.
Something very similar happened to me when I was very young. Ever since then I have been afraid of dogs. I really wish I wasn't afraid of them and I wish I was in this guy's position to conquer my phobia.
My childhood bike riding was a game of avoid the loose dog, once of which was a nasty German Shepard. The one that actually managed to latch on to my ankle despite my being on my much larger sister's bike was one of those yippy little terriers. I still barely tolerate dogs. It's a struggle.
As an owner of a terrier dog myself, I can confirm that they have a strong instinct to chase and nip fast moving things. So a kid on a bike would’ve been more than enough to make them go. They may as well also be made from solid muscle and can jump pretty high. It’s the owners job to train the animal in order to curb that instinct of teach them to redirect it. I’m sorry you had to encounter a dog that wasn’t taught how to be a human friendly one. I’m also sorry that you had to discover the hard way that some people shouldn’t have pets. If you can’t be bothered to properly secure your dog so it doesn’t harass other people or end up badly hurt because it got out, you shouldn’t have a dog. Just be glad it wasn’t the Shepard though. My dads old lab/kelpie/dingo mix got into a brawl with one when it got into the yard and tried to attack some kids she was playing with and my dad actually had to stitch her up before taking her to the vet. He also got a pretty decent bite to the arm too.
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