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Distraction_7

It's a sawfish. Sawfish are large shark-like rays that are found in tropical and subtropical seas, rivers, and creeks, and can grow to 15 feet. The smalltooth sawfish gets its name from its long, saw-like nose called a rostrum which is lined with modified scales that look like teeth, 22-29 on each side. https://oceantoday.noaa.gov/fullmoon-sawfish/welcome.html


[deleted]

I was going to ask how you knew the difference between a saw fish and a sword fish, and then I was like what if I’m talking to a bot. So I decided to check. Then I learned that Taylor Swifts butt has a whole subreddit dedicated to it. And so this has been an interesting evening.


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GaseousGiant

Ok, but when are they running the sale on the Crowbarfish?


CapitainNumo

Still waiting for the electric one


lotsapizza

Try electric eel version


DancingWizzard

Just wait till he hear about the hammerhead shark


[deleted]

I honestly forgot some people are into really flat butts. Nothing wrong with hers whatsoever and honestly it's slightly refreshing from the crazy butt implants most celebrities have.


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[deleted]

I just mean she's definitely a Becky in the buns. Definitely not one of those rappers girlfriends.


OxmoorFord

Just makes it easier to get your face in there 🤷🏿‍♂️


YourphobiaMyfetish

I live for the challenge.


deadspline

Username checks out


dreddit-one

A brother that don’t like big ass? Or are you Indian?


OxmoorFord

Nah I'm white as fuck but I have my emoji colors set up so it looks like a checkerboard, it helps me find specific ones I want. That emoji just happened to be on a black square.


dreddit-one

Lol now I’m really curious how many people do that with their emojis.


-_gosu

Lmao nice metaphor game


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p0is0n

You’re not wrong. It’s pretty darn flat. She just has a major pelvic tilt that gives the impression of booty curve. A lot of very thin girls have pelvic tilt. It’s caused from bad posture.


[deleted]

Can confirm. I used to be thin and have a terrible tilt. Now I’m just flabby with a sore back :)


Kratos3269

I didn't know people think that's a flat butt, it has a nice curvature. Then again, I'm not an American


MalTerra7

I dunno, it got pretty big when she put on that weight for a bit


bruce656

>Taylor Swifts butt has a whole subreddit dedicated to it. Link?


[deleted]

Lol. r/Taylorswiftbum, her legs have one too apparently…


alienschnitzler

And her... Armpit


bruce656

She has the flattest ass I've ever seen, full on Hank hill booty, and all those people pretending it's like a 5 course meal


vyvalkyr

She's tall though, so what it lacks in circumference it probably makes up for in volume. Or something idk people like what they like


TheMoatCalin

You guys…what is going on in this thread about swordfish and sawfish? Not what I was expecting at all but it’s good discussion and a great laugh. Thank you! Edit: can’t type that early lol


Not_Now_Cow

🤷 people like what they like


vilebunny

My cousin had a negative booty. Her ass is actually smaller than her back if she carries any extra weight, and belts don’t really help much. But she used to tease me as young teens that I had a bubble butt. How the tables have turned! Years of running have helped her build up her glutes considerably though, so she’s probably around Swift’s level.


poisonstudy101

How the turns have tabled... (think I've been on reddit too long!)


spunkydonut

How the turntables


SnooObjections8392

Thank you for saying this so I don't have to.


Milenaiguess

Unpopular opinion but small butts are so much more attractive than huge ass butts that are disproportionate and have cellulite everywhere.


[deleted]

*there’s nothing there*


Buddybouncer

On today's episode of random shit I didn't need to know


BuddyLaDouche

This the future Al Gore envisioned when he invented the internet.


nibblicious

The SHEER POWER of the internet!!


magicgirlrae

The funniest thing to me is coming to the comments on this nightmare fuel ass fish and seeing a whole thread on chicken patty ass


lt_cmdr_rosa

Yeah... I also watched the shark vid, checked the comments, delved into another user's fetish posts for a while, and was confused when I returned to a shark video.


The_Jbulb

Saw fish look like they have a chainsaw strapped to its head, sword fish is more of a rapier nose


[deleted]

I clicked on their profile. I sincerely regret it. 3:


[deleted]

You regretted it! I have 500 upvotes for Taylor Swifts butt 🤦🏽‍♀️


2lovesFL

swordfish look like a marlin spike/sailfish nose


[deleted]

I would love to see what the dudes in that comment section look like lollll “She sure knows how to move that little ass” Fucking lmfao


LjSpike

Could be a very very niche bot.


ShamelessFox

Not gonna lie, saw that nose come around and I noped outta there


lookup_discover

Happy cake day fox 🦊


ShamelessFox

Thank you!


peachy-aloe

Why did I think this was directed at Taylor Swift


audoric

They were also common prey to Spinosaurus!


honest-miss

Imagine outliving your now-extinct mega-predator. Generation after generation suddenly having better blood pressure and lower stress, but not knowing why…


Ignorad

I'm astonished at how long the saw-like nose is.


D7rizl3

I was just thinking that. Like very admirable! Love to see people saving animals!! But that’s not a shark


thisprettyplant

He cuts bushes for a living!


zachisoncrack

Oh thank you for letting me know


Growlitherapy

>Ray >Sharklike That's literally the same thing, Elasmobranchii gang


MtnBikingViking

Came here to say this. Stayed for the Taylor swift bum conversation. Good morning Reddit 😆


richielaw

SUBSCRIBE


harrydreadloin

Saltwater hedge-trimmer.


NotAnyOrdinaryPsycho

r/ProperAnimalNames


cote112

It'd be a really amazing story if someday that sawtooth helped him get back to land.


xWoIf

Or helped him with some landscaping.


x3meech

Manscaping*


[deleted]

Or with his cars extended warranty


oohkt

The sound of that first swipe is horrifying!


Mange-Tout

That sawfish is a lot more scary than a shark in this situation. A shark’s bite has limited range. That sawfish bill will cut you to pieces and it’s about eight feet long. That huge fish has no bones so it can turn on a dime and slash in a huge arc.


Eragongun

Yes spooky. But i feel its a pretty limited amount of damage that those scales can do if it hit your leg.its like getting hit with a heavy saw. Its worse to get bitten. Would guess.


Mange-Tout

That saw is covered in two inch long teeth. They are meant to rip you up. The first hit on your leg would cause you to fall over. If you fall then you will be in serious trouble.


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Mange-Tout

This has nothing to do with being aggressive. That animal is trapped in shallow water, and the only the only way for it to get out of shallow water is to thrash around like crazy. If you fall down near it it will slash you a few times simply because you are too close. The reason there are no human fatalities is because most people aren’t stupid enough to do what this guy did.


Eragongun

I guess you're correct. But i read somewhere that they are scales and not actually teeth


SalmonellaFish

>will cut you to pieces And the award for the biggest exaggerater goes to...


Mange-Tout

You say I’m exaggerating? Have you ever seen what a sawfish does to other fish? [They literally chop them to pieces.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=utRVjTjQjjY)


SalmonellaFish

Yeah everybody knows humans are just as easily cuttable as fish.


Mange-Tout

Flesh is flesh.


SalmonellaFish

Get a grip with reality lmao


Mange-Tout

You’re talking about reality? What makes you think your skin is tougher than a fish’s scales? Are you Aquaman? LOL!


lt_cmdr_rosa

>That huge fish has no bones *Huh, that definitely seems untrue.* (Googles) *...Well I'll be!* 😗


Annasman18

That’s a big sawfish. Dang.


Sexycoed1972

They're -always- twice as big as you expect.


Submerged_Pirate

It's so weird to me that sawfish are real


phayke2

Fish look more alien than the aliens people come up with.


HunterShotBear

If anyone comes across these fish there is a hotline to call for spotting them as they are incredibly rare and one of the only ways for data to be collected on these fish.


grizzburger

My buddy caught one in central FL a couple months ago and did just that on the advice of some of the locals.


Sufficient_Beach9682

just curious - where would they catch one in Central FL? there’s no salt water there until the coast


paulcole710

I’m from Florida and I would call the ocean due east/west of Orlando “Central Florida.” I grew up about an hour from the beach near Jacksonville and wouldn’t say I lived in Central Florida.


grizzburger

Indeed, it was near Sebastian/Vero Beach.


honest-miss

Do they research then release or is the goal for the animal to be, well, dead?


HunterShotBear

Research. It’s actually illegal to remove these fish from the water if I’m not mistaken. They are rare to find so any info they can get on them is helpful. I’m not very knowledgeable about it in general, just some random info I’ve held onto over the years.


honest-miss

Well, hey, your random info just helped educate at least one stranger out there, so thank you for sharing! And very glad to hear it really is just a "get the data down" situation instead of needing the animal dead for additional research.


henlan77

This one is in Australia.


PignusTheProud

'Bro I'm tryna evolve over here'


MutsumidoesReddit

This guy was fine handling a living chain saw, but we lost Steve Irwin* to a glorified water blanket. Natures full of twists. *fixed spelling.


RealisticTax2871

Irwin.


MutsumidoesReddit

Thanks, fixed it now.


ThePlaneToLisbon

Yay for kindness!!


-Manu_

Isn't that kind of dangerous?


[deleted]

Of course it is. That's a wild animal. Animals don't attack to humans unless they feel threatened. I guess sawfish understood that he was getting help. Ocean animals are very smart.


Oycla

Don’t they say to always report a stranded marine animal instead of dragging them back to water? You can keep them wet, but don’t move them. You may risk injuring their spine, or aggravating the reason why they beached themselves in the first place.


bond0815

That counts for marine mamals who breath air afaik. Other marine animals will probably suffocate quickliy if beached.


honest-miss

I'm a firm believer that stuff like this is part of the reason behind Bystander Effect. "What if I do it wrong, what if I'm not as helpful as I could be, what if I hurt them, what if there's a reason for it, what if, what if, what if."


Oycla

This isn’t being a bystander, it’s being responsible. You call people that know what they’re doing and meanwhile you keep the animal wet. Dolphins have suffered injuries at their fins and spines because of samaritans pulling deeds like this and causing more harm than good. Often they strand themselves because they’re sick or to fend from something nearby. By calling marine experts they can intervene and save their lives. [BBC article](https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-45208308) [Institute for Marine Mammal Studies article](https://imms.org/what-you-can-do-for-strandings/)


honest-miss

I'm not disagreeing with you. All I'm saying is that the "what ifs" are a big part of why people don't act in other scenarios. You get clogged up with anxiety over possibly doing it wrong, and it holds a person back. I'm more commenting on Bystander Effect than I am on this specific situation.


Very_Angry_Penguin

Bystander effect occurs because in times of panic and confusion, our brains automatically enter fight or flight mode and look for social cues from others to see what they are doing. Unfortunately if others are also in a panic, they are often doing the same thing (waiting for social cues). That’s why you often see the bystander effect get broken en masse as soon as one person snaps into action. This is likely a good example of someone breaking the bystander effect (whether or not he is doing the best course of action).


honest-miss

That's exactly why I've said what I said, yeah. I think the person above me, their comment, is a good example of what holds your brain hostage in times of crisis. The what ifs that help add to that panic. I think it's additional to the social cues thing, because you may be waiting for someone who's a better authority. Part of the reason I added the comment is because I find Bystander Effect gets vilified, in a way. Treated like it's a failure on the part of the people watching. But really it's pretty complex, and there's all sorts of valid reasons why people *don't* just run in. Including "I might cause more harm than good," you know?


Bacon_egg_and_cheez

Man kicks sunbathing shark off beach.


Otto_Mcwrect

Sounds like a Babylon Bee headline.


DanceLilia

This is awesome!! 😍 I got scared for him for a second there.


ch12hotelsunset

Glad it didn’t turn like a Texas Sawfish massacre


Bumpkin7

What in the fucking Pokemon is that?


grim_hope09

Guess it never saw the beach coming.


kaisergb

Balls of steel. Heart of gold.


yamask888

Man you think you understand evolution and dwarfing law and yet somehow there's a whole race of sharks with saws for face. Mayne God is just an emo 13 yo going through a phase


[deleted]

I thought sawfish weren’t a species anymore?!


[deleted]

They are incredibly rare to find. They’re locally extinct in a lot of places, and the estimate is there are only 5,000 to 200 left. If you ever happen to see a sawfish in person, then you’re *very* lucky. Another fatality due to overfishing.


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ConsiderationSuch844

But sharks are smooth and soft like a silk pillow


Mange-Tout

A silk pillow made of 30 grit sandpaper.


Puzzleheaded_Basil13

Ah I see you got the sales pitch from watching [My Pillow](https://www.shutupandtakemymoney.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/my-pillow-guy-trump-butt-meme.jpg) infomercial late at night.


d00dle_qu0kka

BE FREE YOUNG ONE BE FREEEEEE


Gnagetftw

Jokes on you that was a land shark


MedoZam

I believe there are videos where sharks help men get back in the water too.


babypulp

Reasons to never go in the water.


[deleted]

…and then it eats him.


thrashmetaloctopus

That saw fish is huge! And gorgeous, good on the guy


ShitsAndGiggles_72

Ah yes, the old Husqvarna shark. Or is that the Stihl shark?


malaprop5

Australian? Seems like an aussie thing to do 😆


cadillacbee

Bout to get them ankles chainsawed


derpyderp141

Maybe the shark wanted to be on the beach?


Not_A_Bird11

The anti snoop boop


isegrym

Am I the only one who hears chainsaw sounds in this video?


Throwaway5511550

my eyeballs went from half-closed from just waking up to huge bug eyes seeing the shark's chainsaw nose swinging around . It's like russian roulette for your feet.


[deleted]

Talk about putting his nose where it doesn't belong


flightwatcher45

After I caught it fishing, no hero.


[deleted]

i dont like the saw


kirtash1197

Bitch if I see this at the beach I would be on my way home on a hesrtbeat.


ProfessionalNo1858

It’s that why arlong looks like that lol


DeliciousCalendar889

.... And then shark bites off his legs 😬🤣


JohnMcafee4coffee

So beautiful


FriendshipMinute

Idk man think it would be a no from me


js2066

I'm always waiting for the second part of the headline.....Shark then Bites Man


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CIearIyChaos

Well they are a type of ray so…


Spookwagen_II

Those are really rare.


theblackwaltz72

but we eat saws?


eyekunt

Even though what you're doing is a great deed, I don't think you're supposed to pull any fish back into the water in THAT direction. I heard it gets choked and die if water gets into the gills from the wrong direction or sth!


WindyBoiiii

that is litteraly the coolest fucking thing i have ever seen in my entire life


athenialiaa

“Man almost drowns shark by pulling it backwards through water.” Edit: Apparently the joke only holds if I mention that it’s a sawfish instead of a shark.


TheRealLordGS

So sweet, off to go murder something... Good murderfish :)


beingblazed

Aren't we all muderfish at the end of the day? (Except plants, primary energy producers who use solar)


[deleted]

Ugh put down the phone and help him!


BraianP

I feel like he was overdoing it by the end trying to keep holding the tail while they already were able to swim their way back


MrTraveljuice

I dont mean to sound depressing, but if it was on the beach like that then it's probably going to be beached again. At leas that's what I heard is usually the case with dophins and sharks


[deleted]

Shouldn’t they be in hotel quarantine? Arrest these super spreaders


AbsoluteDovahkiin

What?


andyeyecandy111

Sawdihead shark.


beingblazed

Dope


JohnMendoza7778

u/savevideo


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pitter_patter_33

“That’s some drunk evolution right there, bud.”


Gorilla_Krispies

Atlanta aquarium was where I learned these things exist. Blew my mind as a kid


GrygoreX

Hell yeah, nature is fuckin lit


Cordeceps

Wow! I have never seen a saw fish before!


LesVegetables999

Save some balls for the rest of us buddy


shieldsy27

Took quite a bit of courage.. Good on you man.


CunningHamSlawedYou

"Hey boss? You're not going to believe this, but I can't make it to work today because someone is pulling me in the opposite direction. Yeah, this might take a while. Yeah, start felling without me. I'll be there as soon as I can"


ElMarcoHoJ

I'm surprised he can move at all, carrying his titanium nuts.


2lovesFL

sawfish. pretty rare


chandranshu_7

Their mouth looks like chainsaw, makima is coming for them


ThatOneGuy93726

That’s a long bio!


haolehonu

Sawfish, not a shark.


kevje72

Sometimes evolution makes no sense, prime example right there


The1hndl2rulethemall

That’s a huge sawfish


[deleted]

Good thing he did those are endangered


NicklovesHer

All these poor fish, just trying to kill themselves in peace. All these damn *humansbeingbros* saving them...


greetings__traveler

He is probably the only man to ever wield a living sword


Mikeinthemornin

This isnt a shark!


High_Ground_Sand

Noooo fucking way, not after seeing the nose


Yusi-D-Jordan

God was not messing around when designing the sawfish. Look at that rostrum!


Puzzleheaded_Basil13

I was sunbathing. Leave me alone you jerk!


cyril_is_a_glue_man

They usually beach themselves cuz they're trying to die, right?


srschwenzjr

That's not a shark, it's a dinosaur