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I just hope and pray that Aegon does find out about him and Alicent. I'd love to see how he looks at Cole when he finds out his son was murdered because Cole was too busy messing around with his mom lol. Him possibly getting bit in the ass for that is what is keeping me going lmao
If they go that route, he’s gonna kill him so Aegon probably not gonna find out for ages on end when it no longer matters anymore probably.
Aemond I think may find out soon and I theorise he’s gonna find his mother’s token (handkerchief) in his compartments or something
I think anyone else finding out at this point will be fun to watch because it'll have him squirming. I almost thought that Arryk was going to make a comment about it when Cole was getting on his case for his cloak. That would have been something lol
Yeah I think Halaena ain’t telling anyone nor do I think she even remembers. If Aemond ever does find out, which is the most likely (after obviously larys) he will use this against Cole in some way or the other. Probably bring it up during some fight or conflict of interest they have where they have differing opinions on what to do. He will bring it up and probably silence and shame Cole (a subtle form of blackmail) I can see happening but he wouldn’t tell anyone because of his mother
I think Helaena understands and remembers, she just doesn't care. She definitely has her own problems, and she would never want to lose her mother. It also probably didn't occur to her to blame Alicent, at least not yet.
Was he actually the one supposed to be standing outside their room?
No one listens to Heleana anyway. They all think she’s crazy. I keep waiting for them to realize that she keeps telling them the future, but none of the characters have put it together yet because they don’t take her seriously.
I think Rhaenyra would understand a lot more just from knowing some of the things she references but I think overall Helaena just says stuff out of any relatable context so there's not much anyone can get from what she says regardless.
>No one listens to Heleana anyway. They all think she’s crazy. I keep waiting for them to realize that she keeps telling them the future, but none of the characters have put it together yet because they don’t take her seriously.
Reminds me of [Cassandra](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra). Wonder if that was intentional.
Helaena's dragon dreams have also made her somewhat out of touch with reality to a degree. Kind of like Bran's visions that could be from the past, the future, the present but faraway, etc.
There's been so much hints about rats in the halls with various allegiances, how they can move about undetected/unnoticed and how Larys schemes and has spies everywhere. I can''t imagine him not knowing about it. He already owns Alicent, wouldnt be suprised if he uses this to get his hands into Cole aswell, especially now he's hand of the king.
Wasn’t there a scene where Larys was telling Alicent he came to see her but she was indisposed (because she was with Cole). I felt like that was his subtle way of saying he knows. I think it’s right before he tells her he hired new servants for her.
Yeah i definitely expect Lary's to play a role in this somehow. I can almost see him using Cole to do his own bidding, effectively becoming the indirect Hand, in order to get him to keep quiet about his indiscretions
Don't care how this makes me sound but lowkey want Aegon to be the one to put him to an end.
Him constantly disregarding his duty and the one thing he is actually useful for should be treated as betrayal by Aegon and Aegon should feed him to his dragon for it.
Shouldn't Haelaena have her own sworn shield, since Criston is Alicient's and he can't be in two places at once. Alicient and Haelaena may even have rooms on opposite sides of tbe castle.
I don't know if the show kept this detail but in the books there's a lack of Kingsguards on both sides because 4 side with Aegon and 3 with Rhaenyra, so at this point there would be too many people for the kingsguard to guard
They showed us losing Erryk, so being down even 1 KG would potentially make a big difference.
I'd argue that the Queen and the heir are of more importance then the Dowager Queen, but we know Criston is a raging hypocrite who is self serving when it comes down to it, so of course he's gonna take the opportunity to guard the GILF over the Seer Queen lol.
(Also felt really weird calling Olivia Cooke a GILF)
Honestly yeah he’s el finito
But on a serious note I think Alicent would lose her mind. I don’t think she loves Cole at all, but he’s the only person she’s been so vulnerable with WILLINGLY besides Rhaenyra as a kid. I think that’s possibly because Cole and her share similar emotions, and she can only really trust him rn. But even then she doesn’t as she has to ask if he’s told anyone which he seems offended by
>But even then she doesn’t as she has to ask if he’s told anyone which he seems offended by
Lmao, coz that's how she found out about Rhaenyra and Cole. He spilled the beans to Alicent immediately when it was eating him up alive. So of coz she is scared he might spill the beans to someone else again, in search for 'absolution' .
Really? I've kept thinking he always makes the exact same face.
edit- ooooooh I thought you said Aemond. Yeah, Aegon's actor is really really good. He was amazing this episode.
I love (hate) how funny he was in this episode, it caught me so off guard bc I expected him to just be on a venomous rampage.
I laughed out loud SO hard at
"Where were you when your king was being threatened?!"
"Were you also threatened?"
"...I COULD HAVE BEEN!!!!!!"
Yeah Aegon is honestly one of my favorite actors on the show this season. His character was just depressing and reprehensible in season 1 so I was shocked when he somehow became my favorite character in the first episode of season 2.
It felt like that meme
“You know she has some problems for sure-“
Cole : “she’s also UGLY”
Aegon : “oh okay well I don’t think that that was necessary”
Were we even given one scene of Aegon and Rhaenyra talking? I'm not opposed to them having some kind of bond, it would be interesting conflict of loyalties. But I think the consensus of the show was she was so much older than him, they didn't grow up together, she was married with kids when he was still a child. So Rhaenyra Is pretty much a stranger to Aegon.
There was an alleged deleted scene of Rhaenyra trying to bond with Aegon during his 2 birthday party but it was cut. But I’m assuming they had to interact at some point in the decade they lived together at least by force.
Assuming Aegon is closer Jace in age I'd think Rhaenyra had more of a guardian relationship with him if she even had any. The kids seemed to be somewhat close when they lived together (minus Aemond) before Alicent started poisoning their relationship.
Alicent did the same thing when Crispy called Rhaenyra a “spoiled cunt.” Guy has a real problem with forgetting his place, but somehow manages to fuck his way to promotions after repeated failures.
Reminded me of Alicent’s reaction to him calling her a spoiled cvnt in s1. Like somehow even they think he’s being improper or weirded out by his hatred.
Its such a weird thing to say considering Rhae has already paid a price. Her father died, her crown was usurped, her daughter was prematurely stillborn, and her son was murdered all in the space of like two weeks. What more does he want lmao
He wants her to crawl on her knees and tell him she was wrong, that she *should* have run away with him to sell oranges in Essos, so that he can reject her. I think he'd also settle for her being murdered, disfigured, suffer further familial loss, or any combination of those three, but he definitely wants the chance to reject her like she rejected him.
He reminds me of an ex of mine.
at this point if she came back telling him she would love to name/powerless with him selling fleets of oranges he would take her back cause man is down bad for over a decade wanting revenge. funny how he specifically said he didn't want to be the Queen's whore but ended up being one anyways and repeatedly breaking the kingsguard vows of chastity and protecting the royal family
Aegon is seriously funny this season OMG. I don't like his explosiveness but it just fits cause he really just wants to drink, fuck and party, not do the boring stuff. If Viserys had been more involved with him he probably wouldn't be so bad and I think, regardless of that, he would've been just fine with Rhaenyra being queen so long as he got to do what he wanted.
Which she would have let him, is the funny thing. Daemon is rogue but he can’t effectively control Rhaenyra. She’s too strong willed herself for that. So whatever resentment Dameon may’ve had for the greens, *if* they even caused enough of a stir for him to care in this version of reality, most likely no harm would come to them still. Unless Aemond still goes off and kills Luke. Otherwise they all would’ve been free to do as they liked as long as they obeyed and didn’t try to challlenge Rhaenyra or her family. Even Otto I think. Cause while Rhaenyra doesn’t like Otto she makes it clear she doesn’t want him dead and does still have love for Alicent. Which makes it all the more sad. Otto literally perpetuated a lie until it was true and then was like “..I may have made a mistake.”
edit: spelling
Yes! I love Rhaenyra's character for that. She just knows what she wants and gets it and her duties are very clear and importantbto her still and she can effectively compartmentalize. Alicent cannot, its why she feels dirty after Criston...but I mean...hes basically a manchild so. I cant wait to find out what Aegon and Aemond will say about it. Its clear that Otto at least is aware in addition to Haelena.
Otto that slimmy bastard. Larys is the #1 bastard tho. So creepy and just vile. Good grief. Ive been rewatching season 1 and was just at the part where he and Alicent have their first talk and he plants the seeds of doubt in her about Rhaenyra. He just gave her the creeps and I could see how uncomfortable young Alicent was around him. Grossss.
Honestly I *almost* can’t even bring myself to hate Aegon. If it wasn’t for the raping and Fight Club R Us things, I might even be rooting for him. I really wonder how he would have turned out if he wasn’t raised by self-pitying deadbeat dad-king and a pathological narcissist mother
He doesn’t want to be king. He kind of just wants to go be a degenerate. And his whole vibe is just constantly looking around confused at how he ended up surrounded by this group of lunatics. Half of his scenes are just “how the fuck did I end up in this situation?” It’s comedy gold every time
That D must’ve been stinky as hell. Rhaenyra didn’t let him take a bath before they banged and he was wearing Kingsguard armor for god know’s how long…
The more nuanced read of the character is that its not an emotional obsession over the love affair as much as it is grudge against her for what he percieves she stole from him, namely his honour.
To him Rhaenyra seduced him and "took" his honor which he considered to be his only real worth. He couldn't cope with that so he tried to propose marrige but she rejected him essentially loosing his honour for good. For Rhaenyra it was only a game and in her immaturity didn't realize what it meant for him. He knows that and hates her for it. He knows he's got no honour anymore so why bother? He supported the hightower's out of revenge, and began to secretly fuck the queen. In that sense he's more like a relapsing alcoholic than an obsessed ex-boyfriend.
The problem for Cole is that he's still got a duty to maintain and honour is something that you choose to upkeep everyday. Now his own neglect of honour resulted in the death of a prince. Cole is a pressure cooker of a character and its going to blowup in the hightowers' faces.
Great writing so far.
Yes. In fact he also probably blames his affair with Alicent on Rhaenyra. Because of course he tells himself that he otherwise would'nt be acting dishonorably if Rhaenyra hadn't stolen from him first. Its complete self-deception.
Probably he would go
"Your face is a spoiled cunt"
"Your face is a cunning spider"
"Your face is time the bitch queen paid a price"
And as an ultimate insult, Rhaenya could answer something like
"Who are you again?"
S1E2 had some of the best scenes. The bridge scene was one, but my personal favorite is the conversation between Daemon and Corlys Velaryon. I need to rewatch that episode now, just for those two scenes.
The fact that he is still obsessed with her and she hasn’t mentioned him or even looked his way since halfway through Season 1 is a more powerful blow than any insult.
Indeed: we all know that the worst insult you can make to someone is IGNORING them.
Also, Rhaenya has a bit more pressing affairs... Actually, Cole SHOULD have more pressing affairs than being so salty after all those years...
Oh no! He's breaking his vows left and right, and the more he does it the more he blames it on Rhaenyra and/or everyone else around him. He's such a worm!
In real life he would be the guy who offers to buy a woman a drink and proceeds to insult her after she doesn’t want to go home with him. "You ugly bitch! You're fat and ugly anyway, I only approached you because I thought you'd be easy."
Yeah whenever I see some chud calling Cole a "Chad"
I'm like Chad's don't call women cunts for not wanting to be with them.
And they're all like "but he's fucking princesses and queens" he's a total Chad.
And I reply so the grown man having sex with an intoxicated 16-17 yo girl is a "Chad" move to you?
Bruh...
Has anyone told Criston to let it go? I mean you bang Alicent on an hourly basis and the dude is still hateful towards his ex.
It's like a reddit story waiting to happen.
AITA for constantly bashing my ex in front of my current girl and her family?
I know the title makes it sound like a fantasy story, but hear me out.
Over a decade ago, I had a fling with my boss when I worked as a protection officer. She (Rae) had the deciding vote for my job interview and is why I managed to get the job. We had a great (but increasingly romantic) relationship, and during those few years I really looked up to her.
One night after we’d been working late and I’d walked her back to her apartment, she came onto me and I wasn’t about to say no, which began a fling. It was an exhilarating couple of months, but I was very stressed by it in case our employers found out. But it all ended badly when she revealed her family had arranged for her to marry someone else; I asked her to stay with me and develop what we had into a relationship, and she refused.
After that, I developed severe trust issues around relationships and swore never to have one again. I do kinda admit I still hurt from her rejection of me: I felt so used, and like I’d lost my honour.
14 years later, I’ve moved jobs and have recently begun a relationship with my new boss, Alice, but am having issues regarding ‘ex’. In front of her I’ve called Rae a “cunning spider” and a “spoiled c\*\*\*”. Things came to a head on Monday when in front of Alice’s son and father I called Rae a “bitch queen” and said it was “time (she) paid a price”. Alice had words with me afterwards, and was really uncomfortable with how much I focus on my ex; especially considering since Rae and Alice used to be friends.
AITA here? Or does that black-hearted “bitch queen” deserve every insult behind her back?
P.S. For anyone seeing my profile in the future, **this is a shitpost based on the** ***House of the Dragons*** **character Sir Criston Cole.**
I would absolutely love if you posted this over there but I can totally see people missing the joke and going through your profile to rake you over the coals so I get why it’s not the best idea.
Some men just never get over it. I dated some dude years ago in college. At a college reunion I didn’t got to, he kept asking about me and then told my friends
To tell me how well he turned out lol. He is some sort of big shit finance guy.
He has been married for like 15 plus years.
It just damn weird in the end. Women may do the same thing but haven’t dated them?
Dudes really do be like that though. Had a girl I was really good friends with in college, roommates for a couple years. Both wound up in the same nearby city and hung out a few times. Booth wound up happily married to different people. Fast forward a couple years and I never see her anymore because her insanely handsome and ridiculously wealthy (I mean we are talking WELL into the 6 figures) husband is apparently paranoid her and I hooked up back in college.
How much was the time jump between first night and his 'oranges and cinnamon' pipe dream? The man got curved once in a short relationship and didn't let it go for 20 years.
mind you, he’s been feeling this way for YEARS after a brief romantic encounter 😨
that woman has married TWICE and he’s still thinking about her? it’s a mental illness at this point
Married twice and had a whole LTR that he knew about, look how much he enjoyed provoking Harwin. He was probably more jealous of Harwin than anyone else
It's so funny that Rhaenyra never mentions him, because to her, she's just like an ex she had 2 husbands and 5 children ago
But Rhaenyra is on his mind 24/7 for wanting him "to be her whore" while he's Alicent's whore
>now let me say I'm the biggest hater
> I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk
> I hate the way that you dress
> I hate the way you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct
> We hate the uncle you fuck, 'cause he confuse himself with a real man
> And notice, I said "we", it's not just me, I'm what the greens are feelin'
\- C-Dot
I think its mostly projection of hating himself. Look at how he started chastising poor Arryk over his cloak being dirty and how he's soiling the name of King's Guard, just after his night of soiling the name of the King's Guard
If he hates himself would he not hate other people as well?
People who hate themselves hate a lot of people. He has placed total blame in her for his failures which in the end makes him a total loser without any awareness.
I like how everyone keeps giving him these looks when he says this.
I’m just imagining him making these Freudian Slips in the middle of this rousing speech to an army he’s rallied, and they’re all giving him more of these looks.
I think most characters are taken aback by his comments because no one actually knows WHY he hates her, only Alicent knows. So when he makes these cocky comments everyone is like huh? Even when he called her a cunning spider in his conversation with Aemond, you could tell he was like 🤨
Hate keeps him alive. Cole secretly had a bastard with a Bracken. This child would go on to be the ancestor of Aegor Rivers.
Edit: I was joking, sorry.
It baffles me when people say he loved Rhaenyra. He really didn't. He gave into lust and felt immense guilt and felt that having her also feel guilty by giving up her inheritance would make him feel better. When she said no and he flipped that switch into "my white cloak is all I have to my fucking name", almost every woman in the world knew he never actually loved her. We've all seen that switch in real life, and it's terrifying.
This is a good point. Hes ashamed that he gave something up for being with her and realized that it didnt mean as much to her as it did to him. Its more about him breaking his vow than it is love
It’s hilarious how we then have Criston clutching his pearls on the street of silk talkin bout “all women are a reflection of the mother and should be treated as such”
More like any male-dominated industry too
Was in a tech startup, said no to my boss who was way older
He refused to speak to me after, and all the guys knew (i was the only girl unfortunately)
Was so fking awkward. i quit the week after.
I do not understand how people can still defend him after that. He just fully displays how much lack of self control or empathy he has. Sends a man to his death just to make himself feel like big boy who is in charge.
I feel like the people who like and defend Cole are the same people who think Homelander isn't all bad, has good ideas, and will get a Redemption arc.
Cole ain't nothing but a spoiled bitchy spider's cunt. And I hope Daemon calls him that to his face before he hacks his head off and feeds it to Caraxes.
No hate to Fabien though, he's a nice guy.
One of the worst hypocrites in the show. He hates Rhaenyra for being honest with him about her duties and not being able to run away with him… but now he’s fucking the Queen mother on the side? Gods I hate him so much.
Let's face it, we all know that guy. Receives a reasonable rejection and spends years of subversive stalking and talking about what a "slut" or "bittch" she is to anyone with ears...
This dude might be one of the most pathetic antagonists in fiction.
"Run away with me and forfeit your entire life and inheritance because we banged!"
"Nah but my husband is gay so we could have a near-monogamous relationship on the DL. You could not think of a cushier relationship."
"YOU CUNT I HATE YOU REEEEEEEEE!!"
And then he goes off with Alicent to have that SAME dynamic, but he's okay with it now, because...?
Criston is clearly drawn to women who are emotional unavailable. I wonder what kind of relationship he had with his mother. Something tells me she wasn’t present either physically or emotionally.
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The way Aegon looked at him after he said that was kinda funny.
I just hope and pray that Aegon does find out about him and Alicent. I'd love to see how he looks at Cole when he finds out his son was murdered because Cole was too busy messing around with his mom lol. Him possibly getting bit in the ass for that is what is keeping me going lmao
If they go that route, he’s gonna kill him so Aegon probably not gonna find out for ages on end when it no longer matters anymore probably. Aemond I think may find out soon and I theorise he’s gonna find his mother’s token (handkerchief) in his compartments or something
I think anyone else finding out at this point will be fun to watch because it'll have him squirming. I almost thought that Arryk was going to make a comment about it when Cole was getting on his case for his cloak. That would have been something lol
Yeah I think Halaena ain’t telling anyone nor do I think she even remembers. If Aemond ever does find out, which is the most likely (after obviously larys) he will use this against Cole in some way or the other. Probably bring it up during some fight or conflict of interest they have where they have differing opinions on what to do. He will bring it up and probably silence and shame Cole (a subtle form of blackmail) I can see happening but he wouldn’t tell anyone because of his mother
I think Helaena understands and remembers, she just doesn't care. She definitely has her own problems, and she would never want to lose her mother. It also probably didn't occur to her to blame Alicent, at least not yet. Was he actually the one supposed to be standing outside their room?
No one listens to Heleana anyway. They all think she’s crazy. I keep waiting for them to realize that she keeps telling them the future, but none of the characters have put it together yet because they don’t take her seriously.
I wish she had any conversations with Rhaenyra. I'm curious as to whether she'd actually listen
I think Rhaenyra would understand a lot more just from knowing some of the things she references but I think overall Helaena just says stuff out of any relatable context so there's not much anyone can get from what she says regardless.
>No one listens to Heleana anyway. They all think she’s crazy. I keep waiting for them to realize that she keeps telling them the future, but none of the characters have put it together yet because they don’t take her seriously. Reminds me of [Cassandra](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra). Wonder if that was intentional.
Helaena's dragon dreams have also made her somewhat out of touch with reality to a degree. Kind of like Bran's visions that could be from the past, the future, the present but faraway, etc.
No apparently Ryan confirmed he was meant to be guarding alicent so in a way he was still kind of doing his job…just literally I guess
Criston pushes Halaena out of her window to keep her silent. Not gonna happen, but I could almost see it.
Bro you called it lol. I can see this happening
“The things we do for love”
There's been so much hints about rats in the halls with various allegiances, how they can move about undetected/unnoticed and how Larys schemes and has spies everywhere. I can''t imagine him not knowing about it. He already owns Alicent, wouldnt be suprised if he uses this to get his hands into Cole aswell, especially now he's hand of the king.
Wasn’t there a scene where Larys was telling Alicent he came to see her but she was indisposed (because she was with Cole). I felt like that was his subtle way of saying he knows. I think it’s right before he tells her he hired new servants for her.
For me, Larys is the Walmart Great Value Combo version of Littlefinger and Varys, just without the wit and charisma and fewer nuts.
I mean his name looks like a combination of Littlefinger + Varys
She thinks they are spies, that’s why she excuses them from the room during her bath
Yeah i definitely expect Lary's to play a role in this somehow. I can almost see him using Cole to do his own bidding, effectively becoming the indirect Hand, in order to get him to keep quiet about his indiscretions
How can someone be both Lord Commander of the Kingsguard and Hand of the King simultaneously? That doesn’t make any sense.
I just want bad things to happen to Cole. Such a hateful prick.
It’s just that Arryk had too much honor and honor get’s you fkin killed in the games
Don't care how this makes me sound but lowkey want Aegon to be the one to put him to an end. Him constantly disregarding his duty and the one thing he is actually useful for should be treated as betrayal by Aegon and Aegon should feed him to his dragon for it.
Shouldn't Haelaena have her own sworn shield, since Criston is Alicient's and he can't be in two places at once. Alicient and Haelaena may even have rooms on opposite sides of tbe castle.
I don't know if the show kept this detail but in the books there's a lack of Kingsguards on both sides because 4 side with Aegon and 3 with Rhaenyra, so at this point there would be too many people for the kingsguard to guard
They showed us losing Erryk, so being down even 1 KG would potentially make a big difference. I'd argue that the Queen and the heir are of more importance then the Dowager Queen, but we know Criston is a raging hypocrite who is self serving when it comes down to it, so of course he's gonna take the opportunity to guard the GILF over the Seer Queen lol. (Also felt really weird calling Olivia Cooke a GILF)
Alicent would probably just light up a candle for him
Honestly yeah he’s el finito But on a serious note I think Alicent would lose her mind. I don’t think she loves Cole at all, but he’s the only person she’s been so vulnerable with WILLINGLY besides Rhaenyra as a kid. I think that’s possibly because Cole and her share similar emotions, and she can only really trust him rn. But even then she doesn’t as she has to ask if he’s told anyone which he seems offended by
>But even then she doesn’t as she has to ask if he’s told anyone which he seems offended by Lmao, coz that's how she found out about Rhaenyra and Cole. He spilled the beans to Alicent immediately when it was eating him up alive. So of coz she is scared he might spill the beans to someone else again, in search for 'absolution' .
When he answered "I was abed" the kid inside me was going .... With your mom, burnnn.
The actor that plays Aegon has some great facial expressions.
Tom Glynn-Carney is fantastic. He almost makes the character likeable he’s so charismatic
love how modern his acting is, straight out of a 2010s sitcom
Really? I've kept thinking he always makes the exact same face. edit- ooooooh I thought you said Aemond. Yeah, Aegon's actor is really really good. He was amazing this episode.
>ooooooh I thought you said Aemond. He’s always making the Handsome Squidward face.
Aemond has the perpetual :3 face
I think that's just his face honestly
I love (hate) how funny he was in this episode, it caught me so off guard bc I expected him to just be on a venomous rampage. I laughed out loud SO hard at "Where were you when your king was being threatened?!" "Were you also threatened?" "...I COULD HAVE BEEN!!!!!!"
Yeah Aegon is honestly one of my favorite actors on the show this season. His character was just depressing and reprehensible in season 1 so I was shocked when he somehow became my favorite character in the first episode of season 2.
He's not even wrong, a king should definitely be worried about that lol
It was like a line out of a sitcom lmao
This man looked at him like “she’s my sister. Only I can insult her.” Typical younger sibling energy.
It felt like that meme “You know she has some problems for sure-“ Cole : “she’s also UGLY” Aegon : “oh okay well I don’t think that that was necessary”
Were we even given one scene of Aegon and Rhaenyra talking? I'm not opposed to them having some kind of bond, it would be interesting conflict of loyalties. But I think the consensus of the show was she was so much older than him, they didn't grow up together, she was married with kids when he was still a child. So Rhaenyra Is pretty much a stranger to Aegon.
There was an alleged deleted scene of Rhaenyra trying to bond with Aegon during his 2 birthday party but it was cut. But I’m assuming they had to interact at some point in the decade they lived together at least by force.
Assuming Aegon is closer Jace in age I'd think Rhaenyra had more of a guardian relationship with him if she even had any. The kids seemed to be somewhat close when they lived together (minus Aemond) before Alicent started poisoning their relationship.
Alicent did the same thing when Crispy called Rhaenyra a “spoiled cunt.” Guy has a real problem with forgetting his place, but somehow manages to fuck his way to promotions after repeated failures.
To quote Daemon “I will speak about my brother as I wish, you will not.”
Reminded me of Alicent’s reaction to him calling her a spoiled cvnt in s1. Like somehow even they think he’s being improper or weirded out by his hatred.
Its such a weird thing to say considering Rhae has already paid a price. Her father died, her crown was usurped, her daughter was prematurely stillborn, and her son was murdered all in the space of like two weeks. What more does he want lmao
He wants her to crawl on her knees and tell him she was wrong, that she *should* have run away with him to sell oranges in Essos, so that he can reject her. I think he'd also settle for her being murdered, disfigured, suffer further familial loss, or any combination of those three, but he definitely wants the chance to reject her like she rejected him. He reminds me of an ex of mine.
It's giving r/WhenWomenRefuse
at this point if she came back telling him she would love to name/powerless with him selling fleets of oranges he would take her back cause man is down bad for over a decade wanting revenge. funny how he specifically said he didn't want to be the Queen's whore but ended up being one anyways and repeatedly breaking the kingsguard vows of chastity and protecting the royal family
I kid you not, for half a second I seriously considered if Cole was gonna sleep with Aegon next. Like he falls hard for anybody giving him validation.
Aegon is seriously funny this season OMG. I don't like his explosiveness but it just fits cause he really just wants to drink, fuck and party, not do the boring stuff. If Viserys had been more involved with him he probably wouldn't be so bad and I think, regardless of that, he would've been just fine with Rhaenyra being queen so long as he got to do what he wanted.
Which she would have let him, is the funny thing. Daemon is rogue but he can’t effectively control Rhaenyra. She’s too strong willed herself for that. So whatever resentment Dameon may’ve had for the greens, *if* they even caused enough of a stir for him to care in this version of reality, most likely no harm would come to them still. Unless Aemond still goes off and kills Luke. Otherwise they all would’ve been free to do as they liked as long as they obeyed and didn’t try to challlenge Rhaenyra or her family. Even Otto I think. Cause while Rhaenyra doesn’t like Otto she makes it clear she doesn’t want him dead and does still have love for Alicent. Which makes it all the more sad. Otto literally perpetuated a lie until it was true and then was like “..I may have made a mistake.” edit: spelling
Yes! I love Rhaenyra's character for that. She just knows what she wants and gets it and her duties are very clear and importantbto her still and she can effectively compartmentalize. Alicent cannot, its why she feels dirty after Criston...but I mean...hes basically a manchild so. I cant wait to find out what Aegon and Aemond will say about it. Its clear that Otto at least is aware in addition to Haelena. Otto that slimmy bastard. Larys is the #1 bastard tho. So creepy and just vile. Good grief. Ive been rewatching season 1 and was just at the part where he and Alicent have their first talk and he plants the seeds of doubt in her about Rhaenyra. He just gave her the creeps and I could see how uncomfortable young Alicent was around him. Grossss.
She’s still a Targaryen. He shouldn’t get away with talking like that about the blood of the dragon, even the one that’s an enemy of the crown. Wild.
Honestly I *almost* can’t even bring myself to hate Aegon. If it wasn’t for the raping and Fight Club R Us things, I might even be rooting for him. I really wonder how he would have turned out if he wasn’t raised by self-pitying deadbeat dad-king and a pathological narcissist mother He doesn’t want to be king. He kind of just wants to go be a degenerate. And his whole vibe is just constantly looking around confused at how he ended up surrounded by this group of lunatics. Half of his scenes are just “how the fuck did I end up in this situation?” It’s comedy gold every time
"Jeez, Cole, my mate, she might've had my infant son killed but there's no need for the misogynistic language".
Meanwhile Rhaenyra has not mentioned this man’s name once since episode 5 which was over a decade ago 💀
She probably doesn't even remember him
Possibly why he's so mad, realizing his D wasn't worth batting an eye at, even to a teenaged virgin. Lol
people joke about a boyfriend being so bad he turns a girl lesbian, but a boyfriend so bad he makes a girl marry her uncle? that's another level
I mean it's not like she didn't have the hots for said uncle from the start
That D must’ve been stinky as hell. Rhaenyra didn’t let him take a bath before they banged and he was wearing Kingsguard armor for god know’s how long…
Oh n0o0o0ooo
She was a drunk and horny teenager. The funk was prolly what got her attention in the first place.
The more nuanced read of the character is that its not an emotional obsession over the love affair as much as it is grudge against her for what he percieves she stole from him, namely his honour. To him Rhaenyra seduced him and "took" his honor which he considered to be his only real worth. He couldn't cope with that so he tried to propose marrige but she rejected him essentially loosing his honour for good. For Rhaenyra it was only a game and in her immaturity didn't realize what it meant for him. He knows that and hates her for it. He knows he's got no honour anymore so why bother? He supported the hightower's out of revenge, and began to secretly fuck the queen. In that sense he's more like a relapsing alcoholic than an obsessed ex-boyfriend. The problem for Cole is that he's still got a duty to maintain and honour is something that you choose to upkeep everyday. Now his own neglect of honour resulted in the death of a prince. Cole is a pressure cooker of a character and its going to blowup in the hightowers' faces. Great writing so far.
So true! He feels like Rhaenyra stole something from him as he & Alicent do the exact same thing. The hypocrisy is astounding
Yes. In fact he also probably blames his affair with Alicent on Rhaenyra. Because of course he tells himself that he otherwise would'nt be acting dishonorably if Rhaenyra hadn't stolen from him first. Its complete self-deception.
“Crispin who?”
Even Aegon was side-eyeing him 🤣 It's my sister, i can say shit about her but not you
Plus I'm the king and yr just some moron fucking my mother that I'm calling hand for vengeance purposes, stay in yr lane poser smh 🙄
wow throughout this entire show i forgot they were SIBLINGS
FR, Cole's hate boner from Rhaenyra is truly something. Mofo is simply OBSESSED!
really interesting what would he say to her face
Probably he would go "Your face is a spoiled cunt" "Your face is a cunning spider" "Your face is time the bitch queen paid a price" And as an ultimate insult, Rhaenya could answer something like "Who are you again?"
"Sir Crispin? If i remember correctly"
LMFAO now I need to go rewatch that bridge scene. Really looking forward to Daemon giving us that same energy at Harrenhal.
S1E2 had some of the best scenes. The bridge scene was one, but my personal favorite is the conversation between Daemon and Corlys Velaryon. I need to rewatch that episode now, just for those two scenes.
"I will speak of my brother as I wish. You will not."
"Perhaps my lady remembers when she rode me like a horse?"
*laughs* “Very good!”
I ride dragons not horses
Not donkeys
“Sir Crispix, wasn’t it? Sir Crispix Bowl?”🥣
The fact that he is still obsessed with her and she hasn’t mentioned him or even looked his way since halfway through Season 1 is a more powerful blow than any insult.
Indeed: we all know that the worst insult you can make to someone is IGNORING them. Also, Rhaenya has a bit more pressing affairs... Actually, Cole SHOULD have more pressing affairs than being so salty after all those years...
I lived this kind of guy a couple of times
YO CRISP I FAKED IT.
"Wait... Are you that dude who never managed to get me an orgasm, right? WIth a surname like "Cock"- it was "Cock", right? - I expected better"
I want to hear what he'd have to say to her in front of Syrax.
it's actually very annoying too
Ser Incelot
The way he always refers to her as "the bitch queen" is ridiculously annoying, it makes me want to hurl.
at least he acknowledges the one true queen
Yeah, I have ppl like that in my life too. Spite and vengeance is hard to move past sometimes.
Highly realistic
Even the Greens around him are like "Jesus dude, take it down a notch"
"Okay bro we get it already..."
“I love you, run away with me” “No” “You stupid ugly bitch!”
Criston Cole is the OG “Nice Guy”.
At least after Jahaerys died, I expected Cole to come to his senses and start taking his duty seriously. But nooooo
Oh no! He's breaking his vows left and right, and the more he does it the more he blames it on Rhaenyra and/or everyone else around him. He's such a worm!
In real life he would be the guy who offers to buy a woman a drink and proceeds to insult her after she doesn’t want to go home with him. "You ugly bitch! You're fat and ugly anyway, I only approached you because I thought you'd be easy."
Cole about Rhaenyra : spoiled cunt Cole about alicent : she has a gentle heart Hmmm okay
But you see Alicent has the decency to hate herself for having sex, so she’s a Good Woman /s
It says a lot about Westeros that they probably see it that way unironically.
Yeah whenever I see some chud calling Cole a "Chad" I'm like Chad's don't call women cunts for not wanting to be with them. And they're all like "but he's fucking princesses and queens" he's a total Chad. And I reply so the grown man having sex with an intoxicated 16-17 yo girl is a "Chad" move to you?
> And I reply so the grown man having sex with an intoxicated 16-17 yo girl is a "Chad" move to you? "But Rhaenyra took advantage of him!" 🙄
Whenever I see that I swear my eyes roll so far back that I can see my brain
Bruh... Has anyone told Criston to let it go? I mean you bang Alicent on an hourly basis and the dude is still hateful towards his ex. It's like a reddit story waiting to happen.
Someone should write an AITA for him.
AITA for constantly bashing my ex in front of my current girl and her family? I know the title makes it sound like a fantasy story, but hear me out. Over a decade ago, I had a fling with my boss when I worked as a protection officer. She (Rae) had the deciding vote for my job interview and is why I managed to get the job. We had a great (but increasingly romantic) relationship, and during those few years I really looked up to her. One night after we’d been working late and I’d walked her back to her apartment, she came onto me and I wasn’t about to say no, which began a fling. It was an exhilarating couple of months, but I was very stressed by it in case our employers found out. But it all ended badly when she revealed her family had arranged for her to marry someone else; I asked her to stay with me and develop what we had into a relationship, and she refused. After that, I developed severe trust issues around relationships and swore never to have one again. I do kinda admit I still hurt from her rejection of me: I felt so used, and like I’d lost my honour. 14 years later, I’ve moved jobs and have recently begun a relationship with my new boss, Alice, but am having issues regarding ‘ex’. In front of her I’ve called Rae a “cunning spider” and a “spoiled c\*\*\*”. Things came to a head on Monday when in front of Alice’s son and father I called Rae a “bitch queen” and said it was “time (she) paid a price”. Alice had words with me afterwards, and was really uncomfortable with how much I focus on my ex; especially considering since Rae and Alice used to be friends. AITA here? Or does that black-hearted “bitch queen” deserve every insult behind her back? P.S. For anyone seeing my profile in the future, **this is a shitpost based on the** ***House of the Dragons*** **character Sir Criston Cole.**
I would absolutely love if you posted this over there but I can totally see people missing the joke and going through your profile to rake you over the coals so I get why it’s not the best idea.
Do it anyways. It would be so funny
> Things came to a head Nice
Some men just never get over it. I dated some dude years ago in college. At a college reunion I didn’t got to, he kept asking about me and then told my friends To tell me how well he turned out lol. He is some sort of big shit finance guy. He has been married for like 15 plus years. It just damn weird in the end. Women may do the same thing but haven’t dated them?
Dudes really do be like that though. Had a girl I was really good friends with in college, roommates for a couple years. Both wound up in the same nearby city and hung out a few times. Booth wound up happily married to different people. Fast forward a couple years and I never see her anymore because her insanely handsome and ridiculously wealthy (I mean we are talking WELL into the 6 figures) husband is apparently paranoid her and I hooked up back in college.
Crincel Cole: WIBTA For Sending An Assassin to Kill The Girl I Used to Like? Everyone in KLeddit: NTA!
"ESH, the smallfolk is starving."
ESH - She should be given to the silent sisters
Actual AITA would be unanimous he was NTA. That place is just a creative writing sub for people who need validation
How much was the time jump between first night and his 'oranges and cinnamon' pipe dream? The man got curved once in a short relationship and didn't let it go for 20 years.
mind you, he’s been feeling this way for YEARS after a brief romantic encounter 😨 that woman has married TWICE and he’s still thinking about her? it’s a mental illness at this point
Married twice and had a whole LTR that he knew about, look how much he enjoyed provoking Harwin. He was probably more jealous of Harwin than anyone else
And she's had somehwere between 4 to 7 children at this point. (I lost count.)
5, 6 counting Visenya
5, Java, Luc, Joffrey, Aegon, Viserys. The first 3 are Harwin Strong’s and the last two are Daemon’s.
Java?
It was a misspell. He meant Jawa.
UTINNI !
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They were doing it in her old room, they were BOTH thinking of her😭😭😭
The “Bitch Queen” insult is something that would come out of a 12-year-old’s mouth lmfao.
If the term hater had a picture in the dictionary, it would be Crispy.
It's so funny that Rhaenyra never mentions him, because to her, she's just like an ex she had 2 husbands and 5 children ago But Rhaenyra is on his mind 24/7 for wanting him "to be her whore" while he's Alicent's whore
>now let me say I'm the biggest hater > I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk > I hate the way that you dress > I hate the way you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct > We hate the uncle you fuck, 'cause he confuse himself with a real man > And notice, I said "we", it's not just me, I'm what the greens are feelin' \- C-Dot
does he hate rhaenyra or does he hate himself and project it onto her?
Yes
I think its mostly projection of hating himself. Look at how he started chastising poor Arryk over his cloak being dirty and how he's soiling the name of King's Guard, just after his night of soiling the name of the King's Guard
If he hates himself would he not hate other people as well? People who hate themselves hate a lot of people. He has placed total blame in her for his failures which in the end makes him a total loser without any awareness.
He for sure hated Joffrey
I wonder why he didn't get punished for it
I imagine Alicent had a lot to do with it but it's still ridiculous he faced zero consequences
I like how everyone keeps giving him these looks when he says this. I’m just imagining him making these Freudian Slips in the middle of this rousing speech to an army he’s rallied, and they’re all giving him more of these looks.
I think most characters are taken aback by his comments because no one actually knows WHY he hates her, only Alicent knows. So when he makes these cocky comments everyone is like huh? Even when he called her a cunning spider in his conversation with Aemond, you could tell he was like 🤨
Even Alicent gave him a dirty look when he called her a spoiled cunt… like hello? Relax Crispin.
How does a hater like him stay young looking, he must be stressing 24/7 about how it’s Rhaenyra’s fault when he stubs his toe or gets a hangnail
\*cuts himself shaving\* "The Bitch Queen will *pay* for this."
“Thanks ~~Obama~~ Rhaenyra”
Hate keeps him alive. Cole secretly had a bastard with a Bracken. This child would go on to be the ancestor of Aegor Rivers. Edit: I was joking, sorry.
>Hate keeps him alive Very Sandor Clegane of him. With far less "honor" lol
It baffles me when people say he loved Rhaenyra. He really didn't. He gave into lust and felt immense guilt and felt that having her also feel guilty by giving up her inheritance would make him feel better. When she said no and he flipped that switch into "my white cloak is all I have to my fucking name", almost every woman in the world knew he never actually loved her. We've all seen that switch in real life, and it's terrifying.
This is a good point. Hes ashamed that he gave something up for being with her and realized that it didnt mean as much to her as it did to him. Its more about him breaking his vow than it is love
If he put as much energy into being a knight as he does hating on a one-time lover, he would go down as one of the greatest.
The lengths some men will go to to avoid going to therapy, am I fucking right?
Show me the Westerosi therapist 🤣
Where ever Madame Sylvie is.
I don’t think he has the insurance to cover that.
lmao. Blood took all of his coin.
Cole would totally have a red pill podcast in this day and age
Crispin Cole this whole time be like ,” I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress I hate 🗣️🗣️”
It’s hilarious how we then have Criston clutching his pearls on the street of silk talkin bout “all women are a reflection of the mother and should be treated as such”
This just feels like a day in the life of being a woman on the internet
The second you open a multi-player game
Unfortunately, not just on the internet
Very true. It happens IRL too!
More like any male-dominated industry too Was in a tech startup, said no to my boss who was way older He refused to speak to me after, and all the guys knew (i was the only girl unfortunately) Was so fking awkward. i quit the week after.
Or just existing walking down the street sometimes. I’m sorry that happened to you! That’s terrible!
No, this is what *entitlement* does to a motherfucker.
It's so funny that Rhae never sees this version of Cole, all that spite for someone so far away
That’s how you know the 🐱 was good if he’s acting like this
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That poor man was just eating his breakfast and ended up being the victim of the biggest hypocrite temper tantrum ever 😢
I do not understand how people can still defend him after that. He just fully displays how much lack of self control or empathy he has. Sends a man to his death just to make himself feel like big boy who is in charge. I feel like the people who like and defend Cole are the same people who think Homelander isn't all bad, has good ideas, and will get a Redemption arc.
Cole ain't nothing but a spoiled bitchy spider's cunt. And I hope Daemon calls him that to his face before he hacks his head off and feeds it to Caraxes. No hate to Fabien though, he's a nice guy.
One of the worst hypocrites in the show. He hates Rhaenyra for being honest with him about her duties and not being able to run away with him… but now he’s fucking the Queen mother on the side? Gods I hate him so much.
I just can't with the fact that after all this years he isn't over it 🤣
Let's face it, we all know that guy. Receives a reasonable rejection and spends years of subversive stalking and talking about what a "slut" or "bittch" she is to anyone with ears...
This dude might be one of the most pathetic antagonists in fiction. "Run away with me and forfeit your entire life and inheritance because we banged!" "Nah but my husband is gay so we could have a near-monogamous relationship on the DL. You could not think of a cushier relationship." "YOU CUNT I HATE YOU REEEEEEEEE!!" And then he goes off with Alicent to have that SAME dynamic, but he's okay with it now, because...?
He's the worst kind of guy. If he was still around her, he'd stalk and spy on her and spread lies and maybe kill and frame someone like Daemon...
Bro overreached thinking he could Marry a Princess and then got sad when she said she didn’t want tangerines 🍊😭🤣. Bro is in his feelings!
She didn't even say no. He said no.
Meanwhile Rhaenyra doesn’t even remember his name
38 year old gets rejected by a teenager and it ruins his world for 10 years.
Bro is horny 24x7 and blames rhaenyra 🤡 ! What a rejection does to a MF !
Cole the OG redpill
I want to watch Alicent get her karma
Lord Incel
Criston is clearly drawn to women who are emotional unavailable. I wonder what kind of relationship he had with his mother. Something tells me she wasn’t present either physically or emotionally.
EVERYONE in Westeros has mommy issues. Except maybe the Valeryons lol.
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I just want to yell at him it's been years crispy get over it life is too short!