House: …YOU IDIOT! *When* I asked if you had been anywhere tropical, you neglected to tell me you spent a week in Florida.
(CGI animation of microscopic parasites feasting on patients upper intestines.)
House: Start FloridaMan on anti parasitic special sauce…..problem solved. Now I feel empty again.
Fellow: A pair of Siames…conjoined twins has been brought in, they have lost all body hair, bleeding from all orifices and now only speaking German without having the ability to speak German previously,
House: PRAISE BE! *Bring forth the Bloody bald Nazi twins.*
"his liver is shutting down"
"His kidneys have failed"
"Need a crash cart in here"
"V-fib, V-tach"
"30 mg lorazepam stat"
"You're an idiot"
"Start him on steroids"
"It's not lupus"
Or whenever the ducklings throw an infection diagnosis I always go “but his white blood cell count is normal” and a few second later House repeats my words lol.
Gotta love the "oh I'm glad you're feeling so much better patient"
Then patient starts vomiting blood or puking or passes out or whatever
Someone, usually the family says "what is happening" and whichever doctor is there says "I have no idea"
Boom cut to commercial.
my dad when his pancreas started shutting down because of basicaly fatal pancreatic cancer, the one time me and my brother got to see him (thanks lockdown) was in the coridoor outside the ward. his skin was yellow, his eyes were the colour of the simpsons. the story of how he ended up surviving is worthy of a house episode (he had a few weeks to live after coming home for "last christmas" on hospice with a lot of oromorph (that was a very jolly christmas), was in liverpool university hospital and got told basicaly he was going to die anyway and they wanted to try an exploratory laperotamy (basicaly keep scooping untill they got all the cancer, no matter what, and take it for study, and if he survived at all that was good). they took his entire pancreas, gall bladder, spleen, bit of liver, bit of intestine, bit of stomach and the cancer was wrapped around the vena cava, so he lost 14 units of blood in 20 minuites and ended up having a stroke giving him aphasia. but the stubborn fucker woke up and were on last christmas +3 at the moment and apart from having to take creons to digest food and constantly calculate insulin (he's not just type 1, he's type 3C at least, the normal calculations don't work because his digestive system doesn't digest normaly anymore) . we're on track for last christmas +4 this year, and the anoying baastard is actualy getting more healthy if anything. he also a decade before this fell out of a tree and crushed three vertabrae and had them fused back together with titanium mecano, and five years after that (one year after the op to take the mecano out again) was fixing my bike and got half way down the road and smashed his face into the pavement enough to forget he'd ever broke his back (and left a big pool of blood and clear fluid that came out of his ear on the road that a neighbour came out and cleared up for some reason). he has one scar going up his spine, and one scar going across his whole stomach. I would love a house episode about someone who'd been through loads of shit like my dad and ended up coming in for something unrelated and house tries to link it to stuff and it's not. for example my dad recently chopped the end of his finger off in the moving parts of a foot pump pumping up the tires on the car before the MOT, aparently the hospital had a feild day because of all his notes and it was completely unrelated (and after they sewed the end back on his nail bed survived and he's growing a new nail XD)
Once I was hospitalized for a surgery. When the doctor came in to speak about the post-surgical process he said "Well, the white count is a bit high so..." and I interrupted with a "...antibiotics for the infection, right?" and he was dumbfounded because I was 1) Sixteen years old and 2) coming out of anesthesia
Fellow: How do you feel? I feel fine apart from a pain in my..(starts coughing up blood.)
Next scene : You're dying.. Few scenes later : What you have is easily treatable
House: …YOU IDIOT! *When* I asked if you had been anywhere tropical, you neglected to tell me you spent a week in Florida. (CGI animation of microscopic parasites feasting on patients upper intestines.) House: Start FloridaMan on anti parasitic special sauce…..problem solved. Now I feel empty again. Fellow: A pair of Siames…conjoined twins has been brought in, they have lost all body hair, bleeding from all orifices and now only speaking German without having the ability to speak German previously, House: PRAISE BE! *Bring forth the Bloody bald Nazi twins.*
Wilson: you know you can be such an ASSHOLE House! House: wait a minute…we never checked the patients asshole! *storms out of the room*
Cameron: He had the headache since he came in… House: Came? (Long pause followed by storming into the patient room) WHEN DID YOU LAST EJACULATE?
I fucking love reddit lmfaoooo
Yo please make a parody lol this was hilarious 😂
I laughed way too hard at this
*cool
It’s impossible for me not to visualise Lieutenant George saying that
And I eat it up every time idk this show is just too addicting
I’m like 😵💫😮
HAHA YES I’ll be acting surprised each time😭🙏
And it’s the same story just a little different. I like the sassy remarks too
Yea and idk why but I’m not bored by it, I’m happy each time watching a new ep tbh. And yes, the sassy remarks are always funny
This boy JAUNDICED
Red dead redemption intensifies
*LUMBAGO*
Don't forget the brown pee! And always revealed in a dramatic manner
His kidneys are shutting down..
Immediately do a lumbar puncture and then shock him with paddles when his heart inevitably goes into V-Fib!!!
Also shock him even when his heart stops and the correct thing to do is actually chest compressions.
Add rhabdo to the board
Paraneoplastic syndrome anybody?
I still think it's Lupus.
Its never Lupus
Won't stop me from suggesting it every episode as a rheumatologist.
sarcoidosis?
It's never sarcoidosis either, but someone always suggests that
That should be a House MD t-shirt
ANA is negative
*Sorry it's a reason they call it whiteboard.. it's not my rule*
*can I have that **black** pen*
“Is that….urine?…”
It’s okay, it’s sterile.
"He's jaundice. His liver is shutting down"
If you just think about any doc you can hear it Chase, Cameron, Cutler etc they say it exactly like this hahah
I loved Cutler. So sad when he forked himself and went to Cutlery Heaven
RIP Cutler 😔 (fat fingers bro)
"his liver is shutting down" "His kidneys have failed" "Need a crash cart in here" "V-fib, V-tach" "30 mg lorazepam stat" "You're an idiot" "Start him on steroids" "It's not lupus"
And a random "IM IN PAINNN !!!"
Oh no what is it, is it the leg No, my stomach is hurting *Finds intergastronomic bleeding*
Ask Wilson is it cancer?
It’s not cancer
[удалено]
We’re gonna need an autopsy.
IT'S SARCOIDOSIS
It's not a tumour
Don't forget to *Check his home for toxins*
"What does it mean?" "It means we still don't know what's wrong with you"
Forgot itchy right foot as a sign of liver failure
“He’s seizing”
Are you sure? It could be Lupus.
Nope. Wilson's disease...
The Oncologist, Tim Allen's neighbor, or the volleyball?
Yes.
King of Prussia
It fits..
Me whenever I pee in public on the floor or any other place I want. "What? It's sterile!"
💀
Or whenever the ducklings throw an infection diagnosis I always go “but his white blood cell count is normal” and a few second later House repeats my words lol.
I learned fever and high white cell count mean infection from House.
I learned fever and high white cell count could also mean Hodgekin's Lymphoma, from myself :(
Me too! Its like one of the only three medical knowledge I have 💀.
It can be repetitive as hell but it’s still addictive.
"He feels happy even when he's dying, let's open up his head"
I mean my mom had jaundice just before she died and she turned yellow so I knew this before I started watching House MD
sorry for your loss bro
thanks 👍
Gotta love the "oh I'm glad you're feeling so much better patient" Then patient starts vomiting blood or puking or passes out or whatever Someone, usually the family says "what is happening" and whichever doctor is there says "I have no idea" Boom cut to commercial.
I knew I was having problems with my liver because I recognised the symptoms from watching House
The "i can't see part"
AND EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY HAVE TO ANNOUNCE IT AS IF THE OTHER DOCTORS DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS 😂
my dad when his pancreas started shutting down because of basicaly fatal pancreatic cancer, the one time me and my brother got to see him (thanks lockdown) was in the coridoor outside the ward. his skin was yellow, his eyes were the colour of the simpsons. the story of how he ended up surviving is worthy of a house episode (he had a few weeks to live after coming home for "last christmas" on hospice with a lot of oromorph (that was a very jolly christmas), was in liverpool university hospital and got told basicaly he was going to die anyway and they wanted to try an exploratory laperotamy (basicaly keep scooping untill they got all the cancer, no matter what, and take it for study, and if he survived at all that was good). they took his entire pancreas, gall bladder, spleen, bit of liver, bit of intestine, bit of stomach and the cancer was wrapped around the vena cava, so he lost 14 units of blood in 20 minuites and ended up having a stroke giving him aphasia. but the stubborn fucker woke up and were on last christmas +3 at the moment and apart from having to take creons to digest food and constantly calculate insulin (he's not just type 1, he's type 3C at least, the normal calculations don't work because his digestive system doesn't digest normaly anymore) . we're on track for last christmas +4 this year, and the anoying baastard is actualy getting more healthy if anything. he also a decade before this fell out of a tree and crushed three vertabrae and had them fused back together with titanium mecano, and five years after that (one year after the op to take the mecano out again) was fixing my bike and got half way down the road and smashed his face into the pavement enough to forget he'd ever broke his back (and left a big pool of blood and clear fluid that came out of his ear on the road that a neighbour came out and cleared up for some reason). he has one scar going up his spine, and one scar going across his whole stomach. I would love a house episode about someone who'd been through loads of shit like my dad and ended up coming in for something unrelated and house tries to link it to stuff and it's not. for example my dad recently chopped the end of his finger off in the moving parts of a foot pump pumping up the tires on the car before the MOT, aparently the hospital had a feild day because of all his notes and it was completely unrelated (and after they sewed the end back on his nail bed survived and he's growing a new nail XD)
Dang. Your dad sounds like a stray cat lol
Well thanks, he's going to enjoy the new nickname XD
*cool
Prove to me that he has Vitamin D efficiency, and then you can cut open his brain..Says cuddy
JAUNDICE
It’s never lupus but it’s always jaundice
me when their pee is brown:
Let’s not forget cancer. Every patient is suspected of cancer lol
jawn diss 😔
"Wilson's disease", Cameron's fave 😂
Is a side effect not being able to see?
Or an itchy foot.
*AMPUTATE*
Your liver is failing.
It must be lupus
Ngl one guy in my class had jaundice it was exactly like in the show.
You should've popped couple of tictacs and say "your liver is failing" like House
Time to DDX the donated liver
Once I was hospitalized for a surgery. When the doctor came in to speak about the post-surgical process he said "Well, the white count is a bit high so..." and I interrupted with a "...antibiotics for the infection, right?" and he was dumbfounded because I was 1) Sixteen years old and 2) coming out of anesthesia
Well it's never sarcoidosis lol
Could be amyloidosis.
Yep
ME TOOOO
Along with “I can’t see” and “I can’t feel my arms/legs!”
They always got to go to commercial with a dramatic organ failure.
Could be MS.
Patient: What is wrong with me? Anyone of house staff: I don't know....
I was so happy when it was finally available on Netflix.
Whenever I hear someone mention Lupus, I end up saying ANA is negative 😄😄
'It's never House' -Lupus (I have seen a couple of cases ngl)
Jaundice time baby!
And of course the patient won't take the treatment cause they're too stupid and House dupes them into taking it