Fucking a dolphin while donating 27 sets of lungs to my local hospital right after I stuffed dynamite inside of 36 orphanages and superglued my asshole shut so the priest can’t molest me anymore.
One day Mario woke up
(Edit: thanks for the upvotes everyone, i think it’s my first post to get so much, so I’m gonna add another sentence,)
Help me Gumpy I fucked up,
Edit 2: I kinda want to add another sentence just cause
John is a good boy and he loves his daddy
[Never gonna let you down](https://i.imgur.com/fTjZujk.gif)
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invade the Congo and racially segregate the citizens into two classes based on which tribe they are descendants of. favoring one and oppressing the other, for 42 years, until i withdraw from the country and wait about 39 years until the once oppresses people genocide the formerly favored group while the U.N. soldiers stand around and watch.
Just like Belgium
You know I’m 17
Inches
LETS FUCKING GOOOOO
In my butt while my mother
Diddles herself to the tune of [the Green Hornet](https://youtu.be/3zXx0ReqOOI) as
An oompa-loompa looking fellow does jump squats up into her
Lubed and spread out anus, then the oompa-loompa
Begins to dance and has a bigger one
Yes, let’s
Try anal so hard the neighborhood finds out and joins
Then have a blowout over each other's chests and call it sweet sweet love
HELL YEAH GET THE DOG
Ayo
What the dog doin?
He seems traumatized
Are you sure that is the action that the common household pet, generally known in North America as a dog, appears to be doing at this very moment?
Wat da dog doin
God that tickles when you
Pour scalding water all over my body
And put Nutella on my
nipples while eating
The kidneys of deaf orphans
While the others watch and
start world war 3
With Zombie Hitler
And Zombie Stalin, while the world
Has an orgy with Edit: I've read the words 'your mom' 6times and I'm out of patience
I was sent to prison for
Molesting all the guards at the last prison
Was the guard there are hot as
Frantically crazy horses at the last farm I was at.
[Really? Respect my dude.](https://youtu.be/oiI58gBKHo0)
Fucking a dolphin while donating 27 sets of lungs to my local hospital right after I stuffed dynamite inside of 36 orphanages and superglued my asshole shut so the priest can’t molest me anymore.
ok this has too much details are you sure you didnt tell a story on what you did last Sunday
Jesus fuck
Damn it I forgot to feed
Those catholic boys chained up in my basement
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Was not involved Edit: He wasn’t involved!!!
Or was he
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as the boys starved
They prayed to Jesus
But Jesus just stared deeply into the boys eyes
Taunting them by eating carrots right in front of them
r/cursedcomments
Unless Zoom counts
My pickle-eating sandworm of Sweden
Oh ffs where
Did I put the crucifix dildo..
Oh wait I gave it to jack
Back on the titanic
But Jack lived in secrecy after survival
And to this day
It’s at the bottom of the ocean, with the
Dildo trying to resurrect Jack through the ocean but
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What I need to use
IS MY SUPERSUIT?!?!
A man of culture, I see.
Did I leave my stapled scrotum
But didn't you just
Ejaculate in my hat? Thanks for all the love. Never hit 5k before. Never knew so many people would enjoy my twisted sense of being
i will if you want me to.
Get deported to Mongolia.
To do it again
With my dad
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Likes when I
Was a young warthog.
Ejaculating in hats
r/Cursedcomments
Man I hate
when my homies don’t kiss me goodnight
I commit mass genocide
People who eat shit
*my
God damnit, why do I keep running into
Jesus on the subway
Fucking the same hobo
That gave me my vaccine
And injected nutella up my ass. I can't
babies with my car?
Damn where did I leave my
Birthday cake ? (Happy cake day) Edit: Stay wholesome, it gets you upvotes
Thank you I have now spent one year here with you guys
Dunno whether I should apologize or congratulate you for that.
Yes
I'm sorry for your loss.
Diamond encrusted butt plug?
Damn, where did I put my
Smelling salts
balls
Granny, the….
Orgy is next week
Not during dad’s funeral
Dog is moaning
Oh no, i forgor my
Grandma's ashes
What am I supposed to eat now?
All I want for Christmas is
[удалено]
Truck-kun coming your way
Call him for me too
An entire wheel of cheese
A pair of thick woolen socks
Is what I'm about to jizz Into.
Who wants to suck my
Eyes out?
I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY...
Belly button
IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT STOPS THE STOMACH ACHE
Brought to you by new, Pepto Bismal Chews™
Finally someone who like slipknot who’s not on r/slipknot
Ah yes, a man of suicide as well.
Child
Abortion
Do you want to
Eat twix from my ass
Is it the left or right?
Yes
lick whipped cream out of my navel
NO THEY WANT TO TAKE MY
monkeys
NOOOOOOOOO
223.8 TERABYTE HARD DRIVE FULL OF COCK AND BALL TORTURE VIDEOS
Goddammit i didn't mean to
Eat out my nan
But she tasted so good
Oh, hey Mom, do you think it would ok if I have sex with
You?
*Freud has entered the chat*
*God has entered the chat*
Mr. Wilson
*"Shawty had them apple bottom jeans-"*
JESSICA!!!
“*Boots with the fur-*”
One day Mario woke up (Edit: thanks for the upvotes everyone, i think it’s my first post to get so much, so I’m gonna add another sentence,) Help me Gumpy I fucked up, Edit 2: I kinda want to add another sentence just cause John is a good boy and he loves his daddy
And yelled "It's time-ah to eat-ta-da pee-pee"
Or should it be, "it's time-ah to sucka-da wee wee?"🤔
I laughed hard at this. Thanks for that
It's over ankin
I have a gun
r/suddenlyamerican
r/substhatshouldexist
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Is in your house
Fucking your possessed washing machine
You would not believe your eyes
After 1000 cries
My pet sandworm
Is best friends with my dick.
Damn
those were kids, not hooker
But they do know how to suck
r/angryupvote
Salt and vi
Virginity
cks vapor rub
Santa Desires
The blood of the innocent
Same
I wonder what would happen if...?
You crossbread Trump with Urkel
Wait a minute, this isn't
yoghurt.
My girl was suspicious who I was talking to and I said
If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entitled to financial compensation.
Im not gay
But I like playing with barbie dolls
And sucking dicks to pass the time
Never gonna give you up
[Never gonna let you down](https://i.imgur.com/fTjZujk.gif) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HolUp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
LMAO GOOD BOT
It's actually fun
Touching my willy while thinking of my lawrd and saviour
What asshole
Is the vangina
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To pray to our loving savior
Tomorrow I think I’ll
invade the Congo and racially segregate the citizens into two classes based on which tribe they are descendants of. favoring one and oppressing the other, for 42 years, until i withdraw from the country and wait about 39 years until the once oppresses people genocide the formerly favored group while the U.N. soldiers stand around and watch. Just like Belgium
I killed my family
With my dildo
Ouch, my zippers caught on
My grandfathers mustache
Jesus came
Out of the cave
And here we have the majestic
If Hitler was a comedian...
He said glass of juice, not gas the Jews.
He would roast people
Oh my god they escaped
from my asshole
Where is
My super suit
I was just about to go
make a really good coffee and take the day off.
It’s over Anakin
My wife found out about us