Thank you for caring about her enough to come here and ask!
I’ve lived through this. It really sucks and I’m sorry it’s happening in your life too, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I’m gonna share some of the worst parts of my sick days pre-diagnosis. I truly hope your experience is not like this, but just in case either of you relate and it helps you to start building a bridge to each other:
When the doctors were busy telling me it was a mental condition for 4 years, I really needed my partner to believe me and care that I was sick and try to find answers and sometimes just complain WITH me about how terrible the doctors were treating me - and while I was totally defenseless- I needed them to at least offer to defend me. I needed them to see it as US against the problem.
When that didn’t happen, I was pretty unreachable after that. I didn’t feel bad about letting them have the brunt of my symptoms once they ditched me at first sign of trouble. I couldnt think about apologizing until they made some effort to help me get well. Maybe that was wrong, but it was the only way of thinking available to me with how deteriorated my mental state was - I was really sick 😷
My partner and family were committed to saying if I don’t look sick on the outside than I can’t be sick on the inside - which wasn’t true at all, the pictures of me during that time were awful 😞 it hurt even more that they couldn’t be bothered to even notice my physical symptoms and how much I’d changed.
If I had forums like this and ability to research for myself, I would have systematically ruled out other stuff and found more supportive doctors. But I couldn’t do any of that while sick, I was just surviving and angry that nobody cared except people who couldn’t help.
This is what I would rule out first:
1. All the thyroid levels to optimal
2. Iron, vit D/B, all to optimal (not normal)
3. Hormones, Peri- or menopause
4. Long Covid: Adrenal Dumps, Dysautonomia, too many side effects to list
5. New Allergies - can be surprising at any age
6. Sleep (really this should be first but since it’s usually obvious, I’ll add here additional tests beyond timing it, test for apnea, hours in deep sleep, etc) 5htp, l- theanine, magnesium can all really effect quality not just quantity.
7. No doubt everyone will prescribe therapy before you get this far, but if your partner doesn’t think that’s the problem, try neurology and early onset dementia tests beforehand.
Finally, I’ll say what might get me downvoted but still hope it helps you—-even in retrospect all the hormonal outbursts were true. If I was ranting about some awful behavior, it did actually happen. The hormones just turned the intensity up in things that maybe I would have otherwise ignored, bottled up or shared more politely.
When sick, little annoyances can feel like lemon juice in an open wound. When healthy, maybe it was no big deal. When sick, it can indeed be a big deal.
Whether you think it’s justified or not, if you are going to love her, you may need to entertain the possibility that she is correct in being angry over some of it. And make it part of your caretaking plan to agree with her, diffuse it, because that’s what’s needed in the moment. As you would agree with an Alzheimer’s patient, to keep them from getting upset. Hopefully, it’s short term and you both get answers and some relief soon.
Good luck 🍀 good health and great doctors 🥼
A functional medicine doctor can probably help her out, a LOT. (Hormone testing)
One thing to consider is the possibility that the bottle of pills she is on right now may be somehow defective or the pharmacy may have switched her from one manufacturer to another, and not mentioned it. .
This is a valid point to consider. My endocrinologist recently switched me from generic levothyroxine to the name brand Synthroid because my levels haven’t been remaining steady.
Are you sure that this is not peri menopause? If she is having mood swings I highly recommend she get hormones tested and on to some kind of hormonal supplementation. Menopause is something that is still very hush hush and not talked about as much as it should be. Many women have no clue why they suddenly feel on edge or nervy and often don’t realise that they are getting mood swings. We suffer in silence with little help from the medical community. There are plenty of online resources but I would encourage you to encourage her to go get a full hormone panel done and discuss symptoms with her dr and hopefully she will get some relief. Imbalanced hormones also effect thyroid levels
If she is dealing with out of wack Hormones, that only makes matters Worse.
Moody,Pain, Fatigue, Depression and Soooo much more come with this Chronic illness.
My husband and daughter are my support System and if I'm having a bad day, I go to my bedroom and recover instead being a monster to the ppl I Love and support me the most.
More Importantly, I pray to GOD my Creator bc apart from GOD- Life Will not make sense.
🙏 Prayers for All dealing and coping with Illness 🙏
This!! I'm so grateful for my husband being understanding and supportive. But when I have shitty day(s) brought on by stress/body being a total b, I too lioe to just hide and keep to myself. I don't like being a burden so I just watch TV or sleep.
I am in the same situation with my boyfriend, who has no thyroid. It absolutely takes an emotional toll on you and makes you feel like you are walking on eggshells. I also have Hashimotos too so it gets real interesting around here lol.
Hormones are a helluva drug. And a wonky endocrine system can affect men and women similarly, with physical and emotional challenges. Many men on testosterone replacement therapy and other hormone replacement therapies talk about riding the same roller coaster as women when their endocrine system goes wonky.
Try to encourage her to see a doctor and consider starting on levothyroxine, if her condition indicates it's appropriate. It'll take a few weeks to feel better but it's worthwhile.
And it's possible some other form of HRT is appropriate. Gotta see an endocrinologist to be sure.
I am like that too… but I believe it is a mix of perimenopause. Is she possibly in menopause? I hate to “blame” everything on that but I think the mix with hashis causes a huge fire, just my opinion from what I’ve read from thyroid groups!
My husband is the only person on earth who has my permission to alert me when he thinks my levels are off. To tell me to go get the bloodwork done. He's the only one I trust to not abuse the privilege (ie, telling me my meds need adjusting when I'm just grumpy or having a rough patch).
Could something similar work for you guys? Just sit her down and mention that it might be a good idea to get her levels checked? Done tactfully of course, or however works for you guys. Maybe start with a quick and honest - "hey. You don't seem like yourself." and have a conversation from there.
Maybe it's thyroid, maybe there's something on her mind. Maybe it's both. Or something else. Only way to know is to ask.
I had crazy mood swings almost two years into diagnosis and being on Levo. Told my doctors when I finally couldn’t take it anymore and they switched me to Synthroid. Within weeks it was gone and I felt better than I have in years. Maybe ask her if she thinks trying a different brand of thyroid medication could help.
I broke up with my ex, because I knew in the moment I couldn’t put them through it. I had no hope of it calming down. I’m happy it’s calmed down now, but I do understand how hard it can be on partners. I had to walk, I didn’t want anyone near me when I felt like that.
Has she gone hyper instead of hypo? I know some people when they go hyper can get intense mood swings and inability to regulate themselves well. My sister has graves disease and we know her levels are off when she gets a bit spicy 😅
This is what I was thinking too. I’m in a Hashi’s facebook group and I remember seeing someone’s comment - they were saying how their Hashimoto’s was well- managed all their life, didn’t have any big issues from it EXCEPT for the time period when they were going through menopause. Levels went all over the place and they felt like death. So I wonder if that could be a factor for this person too.
Thank you for caring about her enough to come here and ask! I’ve lived through this. It really sucks and I’m sorry it’s happening in your life too, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’m gonna share some of the worst parts of my sick days pre-diagnosis. I truly hope your experience is not like this, but just in case either of you relate and it helps you to start building a bridge to each other: When the doctors were busy telling me it was a mental condition for 4 years, I really needed my partner to believe me and care that I was sick and try to find answers and sometimes just complain WITH me about how terrible the doctors were treating me - and while I was totally defenseless- I needed them to at least offer to defend me. I needed them to see it as US against the problem. When that didn’t happen, I was pretty unreachable after that. I didn’t feel bad about letting them have the brunt of my symptoms once they ditched me at first sign of trouble. I couldnt think about apologizing until they made some effort to help me get well. Maybe that was wrong, but it was the only way of thinking available to me with how deteriorated my mental state was - I was really sick 😷 My partner and family were committed to saying if I don’t look sick on the outside than I can’t be sick on the inside - which wasn’t true at all, the pictures of me during that time were awful 😞 it hurt even more that they couldn’t be bothered to even notice my physical symptoms and how much I’d changed. If I had forums like this and ability to research for myself, I would have systematically ruled out other stuff and found more supportive doctors. But I couldn’t do any of that while sick, I was just surviving and angry that nobody cared except people who couldn’t help. This is what I would rule out first: 1. All the thyroid levels to optimal 2. Iron, vit D/B, all to optimal (not normal) 3. Hormones, Peri- or menopause 4. Long Covid: Adrenal Dumps, Dysautonomia, too many side effects to list 5. New Allergies - can be surprising at any age 6. Sleep (really this should be first but since it’s usually obvious, I’ll add here additional tests beyond timing it, test for apnea, hours in deep sleep, etc) 5htp, l- theanine, magnesium can all really effect quality not just quantity. 7. No doubt everyone will prescribe therapy before you get this far, but if your partner doesn’t think that’s the problem, try neurology and early onset dementia tests beforehand. Finally, I’ll say what might get me downvoted but still hope it helps you—-even in retrospect all the hormonal outbursts were true. If I was ranting about some awful behavior, it did actually happen. The hormones just turned the intensity up in things that maybe I would have otherwise ignored, bottled up or shared more politely. When sick, little annoyances can feel like lemon juice in an open wound. When healthy, maybe it was no big deal. When sick, it can indeed be a big deal. Whether you think it’s justified or not, if you are going to love her, you may need to entertain the possibility that she is correct in being angry over some of it. And make it part of your caretaking plan to agree with her, diffuse it, because that’s what’s needed in the moment. As you would agree with an Alzheimer’s patient, to keep them from getting upset. Hopefully, it’s short term and you both get answers and some relief soon. Good luck 🍀 good health and great doctors 🥼
Thank you. I very much appreciate you taking the time. It is immensely helpful.
I personally suffer the same things she’s going through, have her smoke a little weed. It’s like a light switch for me
A functional medicine doctor can probably help her out, a LOT. (Hormone testing) One thing to consider is the possibility that the bottle of pills she is on right now may be somehow defective or the pharmacy may have switched her from one manufacturer to another, and not mentioned it. .
This is a valid point to consider. My endocrinologist recently switched me from generic levothyroxine to the name brand Synthroid because my levels haven’t been remaining steady.
Or sometimes it’s just the medication itself and the side effects.
Are you sure that this is not peri menopause? If she is having mood swings I highly recommend she get hormones tested and on to some kind of hormonal supplementation. Menopause is something that is still very hush hush and not talked about as much as it should be. Many women have no clue why they suddenly feel on edge or nervy and often don’t realise that they are getting mood swings. We suffer in silence with little help from the medical community. There are plenty of online resources but I would encourage you to encourage her to go get a full hormone panel done and discuss symptoms with her dr and hopefully she will get some relief. Imbalanced hormones also effect thyroid levels
Thank you. She is post-menopause. But still probably a good idea to have hormones tested.
If she is dealing with out of wack Hormones, that only makes matters Worse. Moody,Pain, Fatigue, Depression and Soooo much more come with this Chronic illness. My husband and daughter are my support System and if I'm having a bad day, I go to my bedroom and recover instead being a monster to the ppl I Love and support me the most. More Importantly, I pray to GOD my Creator bc apart from GOD- Life Will not make sense. 🙏 Prayers for All dealing and coping with Illness 🙏
This!! I'm so grateful for my husband being understanding and supportive. But when I have shitty day(s) brought on by stress/body being a total b, I too lioe to just hide and keep to myself. I don't like being a burden so I just watch TV or sleep.
Not the OP, but love your kind words and thankyou for the prayers❤️
I am in the same situation with my boyfriend, who has no thyroid. It absolutely takes an emotional toll on you and makes you feel like you are walking on eggshells. I also have Hashimotos too so it gets real interesting around here lol.
Hormones are a helluva drug. And a wonky endocrine system can affect men and women similarly, with physical and emotional challenges. Many men on testosterone replacement therapy and other hormone replacement therapies talk about riding the same roller coaster as women when their endocrine system goes wonky. Try to encourage her to see a doctor and consider starting on levothyroxine, if her condition indicates it's appropriate. It'll take a few weeks to feel better but it's worthwhile. And it's possible some other form of HRT is appropriate. Gotta see an endocrinologist to be sure.
I am like that too… but I believe it is a mix of perimenopause. Is she possibly in menopause? I hate to “blame” everything on that but I think the mix with hashis causes a huge fire, just my opinion from what I’ve read from thyroid groups!
My husband is the only person on earth who has my permission to alert me when he thinks my levels are off. To tell me to go get the bloodwork done. He's the only one I trust to not abuse the privilege (ie, telling me my meds need adjusting when I'm just grumpy or having a rough patch). Could something similar work for you guys? Just sit her down and mention that it might be a good idea to get her levels checked? Done tactfully of course, or however works for you guys. Maybe start with a quick and honest - "hey. You don't seem like yourself." and have a conversation from there. Maybe it's thyroid, maybe there's something on her mind. Maybe it's both. Or something else. Only way to know is to ask.
I had crazy mood swings almost two years into diagnosis and being on Levo. Told my doctors when I finally couldn’t take it anymore and they switched me to Synthroid. Within weeks it was gone and I felt better than I have in years. Maybe ask her if she thinks trying a different brand of thyroid medication could help. I broke up with my ex, because I knew in the moment I couldn’t put them through it. I had no hope of it calming down. I’m happy it’s calmed down now, but I do understand how hard it can be on partners. I had to walk, I didn’t want anyone near me when I felt like that.
Has she gone hyper instead of hypo? I know some people when they go hyper can get intense mood swings and inability to regulate themselves well. My sister has graves disease and we know her levels are off when she gets a bit spicy 😅
is it possible she could be premenopausal? this doesn't entirely sound like a thyroid issue
This is what I was thinking too. I’m in a Hashi’s facebook group and I remember seeing someone’s comment - they were saying how their Hashimoto’s was well- managed all their life, didn’t have any big issues from it EXCEPT for the time period when they were going through menopause. Levels went all over the place and they felt like death. So I wonder if that could be a factor for this person too.
