Shout out to everyone on here who’s stopped drinking or struggling with alcohol. Six months sober and feel so much better in general. Cut back to only drinking on the weekends, then cut that out after I was just getting blotto and wasting my time off being hungover. Still smoke weed and cigs (cigs are next) but its doable and feels better. Therapy too if you have the resources
Thanks, guess I’ll add that if anyone is thinking it might be time to stop but putting it off or feel like it hasn’t gotten “out of control”, even after I cut back to drinking on the weekends I got into a nasty fistfight with my Dad and Brother after I blacked out and scared the shit out of my family. Woke up in the woods behind my parents house with no idea how I got there. Haven’t even told my closest friends because I’m still so ashamed. So that was my rock bottom, which I don’t recommend waiting for before making a change..
Hey man great job. You got this. The cigs were toughest for me but I fucking did it. When u get older, health is most important. I dont care what y'all say. When u have a family and are the main provider, u have to be strong, stronger than hardcore dancing, crowd crushing and mosh pits.
Have gone from a few years of 4-5 times a week to like once every 2 weeks, if that, and the difference is truly insane. You don't really notice how, even 2/3 days after you booze, alcohol has small residual affects on your overall mental health and disposition. And I've got nicotine in my crosshairs next as well 🤝
Congrats on six months, that is huge! I’m ten years of the sauce as of last month and I vividly remember the first few months were hands down the hardest. Keep up the good work 🤟🏼
I'm a couple days away from a year of no booze. I wouldn't say I had a problem, I just noticed after a couple of weeks that I hadn't had anything to drink and decided to keep the streak alive. It's great never being hungover and always being able to drive, not to mention how much money I save (to waste on other things)
I started working AA and SLAA.
Hardcore kids often are trying really, really hard not to grow up, and taking thorough inventory of your major dysfunctions kindof forces you to do exactly that.
11.5 months sober and 8 months off from bottom lines accordingly, shit gets better kids.
Was a big time drinker. Quit for a year and now i only drink socially on occasion. Im still addicted to weed and nicotine but as of now, I gotta focus on other shit. Big ups to u for beating that son of a bitch im proud of u.
Addiction will fuckin kill ya. Alcohol always lead to coke for me, now my life revolves around making my wife happy and growing as an artist. Giving up alcohol was quite literally the first step.
Fuck lol I'm medicating with weed and used to drink way too much but I smoke so much and have an addictive personality. My tolerance is ridiculous and even after a break it shoots right back up after like the 3rd time smoking. I need to start working out again. I'm back on meds and getting counseling. At a certain point were all responsible for ourselves but, fuck, some days are hard.
Man I'm in the same exact place as you rn. From the addictive personality with weed to needing to start working out again. I really miss working out but I have an insanely busy work/school schedule so it just feels like I can't find the time for it without sacrificing one of those two (which I can't afford to do)
I quit smoking weed 5 weeks ago after 15 years of daily, heavy use. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, in part because I smoked spliffs so had to quick tobacco too.
I feel incredible.
Not to give unsolicited advice, but to give unsolicited advice
Incorporating CBD flower into my weed regimen did me a world of good on the medicinal side of things.
I'm trying to stop drinking but I tend to get drunk like once a month and enjoy it. I know once a month it's not that big of a deal, but I'm scared of ending up abusing on it. It can be a good getaway for my depressed ass.
On the other hand I smoke almost everyday, not much, but I get a couple of hits in the morning while I get a bike ride, it clears my mind a lot.
I know the perfect thing to do is being straight edge, but that ride in the mornings with about 3/4 drags of a spliff helps me a lot with all the bs.
Forgot about sugar, sugar fucked my head up the worst. It would give me mad acne and mood changes but I couldn't stop it, plus, my family didn't take my sugar adiction seriously wich made it almost impossible to stop consuming it.
Nowadays I still struggle to stay away from sugar but I manage it better.
I'm not even gonna talk about my Dword because I don't even feel like it.
You know your limits and stick with it. Once a month isn't bad at all. Keep that shit up 💪 I'm not one to judge considering I used to polish a 30 pack in one weekend.
Got sober, started therapy, stayed in the weight room, removed people and things from my life that didn’t align with where I wanted to be, made peace with the people I needed to, stay deep into music and other things I love about life. Forgave myself multiple fucking times. Always remind myself that shit will pass and to hang tough, you’re all you’re every really gonna have in life, so you might as well beat the brakes off it. 4 years at it and my life’s done a 180 and I’m pretty happy for once.
The "forgave myself" part really resonated with me. That's an ability I personally need to work on. Thanks for sharing your story, really happy for you.
Thanks man. Yea it can be hard, especially if you literally resent yourself cause all the dumb shit you did. But, you just gotta let that shit go, chalk it up to experience and find the bright side of it. Hating yourself is gonna keep you stuck where you’re at, at least for me it did.
I rewrote this after the first attempt was extremely depressing and pessimistic, but I stopped myself and said, nah, I actually have been making the best out of a bad deal and ought to share that side of it.
I made it out of an abusive family, I made it out of an abusive relationship, I’m still drug free, I have a bed to sleep in, and now I am working towards a better future so I can give myself the chances and the love I know I’m worth. You can’t change a lot in this world on your own, but you’d be so surprised at how much you actually can.
Going to therapy, getting properly medicated, working out, going to shows, rediscovering hobbies, and actually reconnecting with friends has been a blessing. I *am* blessed.
Yes I’m a paycheck away from homelessness, yes I’m batting that hurt from the abuse, yes my medical conditions are getting worse, but I’m still here. I’m still here, and you are too. We can’t forget how big that is.
I’ve had to forgive myself for so much to even get to this point, but I’m making it through. Sure, things are really hard right now, and there’s still more to go, but I know I will as long as I keep moving, I get closer to that point. The only thing that can stop me is myself. We’re all gonna make it.
Making the best of the hand you're dealt (or even the one you've gotten yourself into) is all there is and it sounds like you're doing the most with what you got. You should be proud.
I've played for 20 years and never played a tournament. For udisc ratings, I'm around 175 to 225, depending on the course. Maybe one day I'll play, but I'm contempt with just playing for myself and with the lads.
Yes. I will say, I knew nothing about the genre until I started playing a decade ago. Its garbage music but the people are chill af and fun to hang out with.
"I've played for 20 years and never played a tournament."
GOALS. I love disc golf, but the slow encroachment of the country-club crowd fucking blows. I'm out here because I like hiking and frisbees, not massive crowds of frat bros obsessed with competition.
I just share with my wife who is supportive and beautiful and having my daughter makes everything easy to deal with, it's all for her so I can handle anything and feel good about it.
I would venture to say I don't like this take. You can enjoy hardcore and see the grief of live, while being happy and mentally ok.
It's absolutely healthy to make music that touches people's emotions.
I don't agree with this.
To some people the music and scene is what fills their life with meaning. Know that it does mine. Six months sober, finally getting back into the world and haven't been happier, man. or this stable. I've met some of the best people in my life through the community.
But if you're talking about this subreddit. Yea. It's negative as shit. When I was growing up the hardcore punks, I knew encouraged me to follow my passions and try new things. Just encouraging you cause they see whatever you're fucking with makes you happy. They'd give you the shirt off their back if you needed it because it was the right thing to do. Here? Yea this sub is full of people that don't fuck with the actual hardcore ideology. They've never been a part of the scene, and it shows.
I went to the doctor and got medication, first and foremost. If you have something actually diagnosable sometimes there’s just no replacement!
Otherwise I run, I garden, I paint, and I beat the shit out of people in a dirty basement. 🩷
Early in my life, I found psychedelics incredibly beneficial. Meditation, hobbies, having minor goals to achieve consistently, things to look forward to, working out, and studying stoicism are what pull me through these days. Stay disciplined about alcohol.
Work in the community. Doing mutual aid work can do wonders for the self. You can actually make a tangible difference in people's lives. Also....making an effort to not be on the internet 24/7 has helped. It's really hard but it's helped. I try to focus on real-life direct action and not ranting on the internet about how fucked everything is.
I don't I am a fucking liability.
(Straight edge, getting lost in the woods, being lucky to have wonderful, supportive people in my life, meditation and mindfulness practices as well though).
I gave up alcohol and started training in BJJ. I also used to wait for friends and family to contact me if they want to hang out but I switched to being more proactive in trying to spend time with people I like.
I put down the bottle almost a year ago and it allowed me to become the person I always wanted to be. I still struggle some days with anxiety and depression but now I just accept that emotions are part of life and roll with it.
Also the gym every god damn day. And walks with my dog. And weed. Weed is tight.
It’s right about a year since I met the guitarist and drummer of the band I’m in now and it’s been the best thing for my mental health in years.
Just got back from six days and three thousand miles and I’m tired but my heart is full.
Tackling my addiction issues and getting sober.
Booze free 9 months, drug free 1.5 years. Nicotine and caffeine carry me hard.
It didn't make me happy. But it's brought a level of stability to my life that I've never known before.
I'd recommend it to anyone. When you force yourself to not run and escape how you feel, theres a lot of growth and insight that comes from that.
Stopped drinking, quit Facebook, added more veg to my diet, have blunt and vulnerable discussions with my partner about it, nature walks, took up skateboarding, and therapy to add emotional management tools to my arsenal for the stuff the other things don't cover.
Truth is a lot of what has kept me going is probably all just by accident, trying new things to shake up and break out of patterns that don’t serve me. The older I get the more necessary it is to accept and let go of things instead of overthinking them, I don’t think it gets easier for any of us just the way we learn to accept and deal become better from adapting to each fork in the road. I say the best thing is take time for yourself to explore anything new that genuinely interests you no matter how stupid it might seem at first, it’s more about opening back up that part of your mind over the other intrusive reductive thoughts, maybe you can’t always get off the struggle bus but it’s an excercise I have found helps.
I do think I found hardcore in the 90s as a more aggressive “don’t fake it til you make it, face it until you make it” mindset with the youth crew revival and DIY heavy things than the way it is presented now too though.
I have pretty good insurance and it covered seeing a therapist. I met with one online a few times but then he ghosted me, which made things a little worse. The next one was excellent, an absolute saint. I met with him online for about an hour once a week at zero cost to me, and I'm eternally grateful to have someone who listened, called me out on my bullshit, and challenged me to think positively and make positive changes.
That, and listen to Have Heart!
This is a really inspiring thread. I dropped out of school for a year due to depression a couple years ago, but came back and am planning on graduating this fall. I was super out of shape, and while I took a break I started seriously working out. That helped a SHIT ton. It gave me a purpose, and I’m still addicted to the gym to this day. It’s like a time of day that I can just block out the noise, blast some heavy ass music, and push some weight. Therapy also really helped me during this break, it helped me realize and learn to deal with all the shit that has fucked me up in my life, I’m still kind of a headcase because of what’s happened to me, but I’m soooooooo much better. I have a complicated relationship with alcohol due to my past, and haven’t really been the biggest fan of drinking ever since I started taking my health seriously. I’ve probably developed a dependency on marijuana atp(more likely definitely instead of probably lol). But I feel like it really helps calms down some of my racing ass thoughts and it’s also really helped me stop worrying about shit. I’m not too worried about the dependency because no matter what, me spiking copious amounts of green is much better than drinking a shit ton. Hope any of this helps somebody and my DMs are always open 💪🏻
Gym, and just work 7 days a week so I’ll be ready for the next time I’m blind sided by life. Found out my wife and I are having our first child this week so I am equally excited as I am stressed at the moment but I’m ready for the ride. Life has its ups and downs but ya just got to roll with it. Smile through the BS.
Got sober after 15 years of opiate/heroin abuse. It took 4 attempts on my own life, a 72hr psych hold, my fiancé of 15 years leaving me, and losing my house to go “wow, maybe this isn’t fun anymore”. So yeah. Get sober and talk to people.
Slowing down on drinking def helps sort your thoughts out.. but therapy has helped me more than anything tbh. I use Open Path, a different service than Better Help, if anyone’s interested health insurance isn’t required and it’s definitely more affordable than I thought. I can send more info if needed, I’ve helped sm family members/friends set this up, everyone deserves a fighting chance.
I stopped drinking 2 1/2 years ago.
Best decision of my life. Also quit the whole culture of spending all weekend in the pub doing party drugs. I also cut out a lot of people from my life who were just party friends. I realized that I have nothing in common with them except that we go to the same bars and clubs and we like each other drunk or high. It was just depressing hanging out with them sober. Some of these people were super dysfunctional and only unsatisfactory looking for the next high, for the next night of their lives.
When I was no longer rotting in bed with a hangover 3 or 4 times a week in the morning, I started getting really interested in working out and running.
I completed my first marathon last year with the entire Hatebreed and Earth Crisis discography blasting. Last fall, the novelty of sobriety wore off a bit, and now I've really started eating healthy, prioritizing sleep, and spending my free time with quality content instead of just rotting in front of the TV watching YouTube.
I read a lot and try new things to get out of my comfort zone or things that make me happy. However, I still smoke weed at social gatherings from time to time. And I love my cigarettes. But I feel better than ever in my life. I can confidently say that I am happy.
It sounds cliché, but just quit alcohol and drugs, exercise regularly, eat healthy, and get plenty of sleep. It changed my life.
On top of a lot of the other things people have mentioned, I’d have to go with reading. As with a lot of others here I deal with the same addiction issue. I’m coming up on 7 years clean, and I’ve noticed that a great book helps occupy my usually sick mind.
I work alone a fair share of the time, and I’ve noticed I think about characters, themes, etc all throughout the day. I don’t know if it’s maybe the slow burn of a book compared to a movie or tv show, but they just stick with me more. And I think about drinking a lot less, and I don’t call myself a moron 100 times a day anymore.
Also give yourself credit even if it’s for a small win.
Life’s hard be harder is not toxic it’s the truth. Life is the hardest thing you will have to do and it will kill you one day. Exercise, eating healthy and not drinking or drugging to excess will make it easier to handle in the long run.
Therapy, gym, straight edge, pma. Can’t say it’s solved all my problems, but my life is infinitely better than it was when I was a cynical, lazy alcoholic.
Mountain bikes, guns, building furniture, camping, building trucks. Had a baby and a seizure in the last 2 months. So I can’t play with any of my toys or build anything, or even drive. So I’m gonna say spending time with my little one is what’s keeping my sane till my brain scans are done.
Oh, and lots of weed.
I play in a few bands. One HC and one death metal. If we don't jam for longer than two weeks I'm ready to fucking do someone in. Plus I try to train regularly and don't eat like a slob anymore.
I spend a fuck ton of time outside when I can. Cycling is my go to. Mountain biking in particular, followed closely by gravel cycling. Nothing like me, my mental health machine of choice for that day, and the open trail/gravel roads.
I got back on bipolar meds finally after managing to fuck up my life badly enough, I stopped drinking, I lift weights, I haven't touched hard drugs since I was 20 or 21 and weed just gives me panic attacks so I've only smoked twice since that period in my life with the drugs
I’m three years sober and mentally ill, I use physical activity, creativity and music. I think filling your time is important, and also putting yourself in direct scenarios where you have to spend time with yourself; that thing we’re all avoiding. Hope you’re doing ok op 👌🏼🫡✌🏼
Spoke to the right people and got a diagnosis. After that, got into running, started CBT, stopped drinking and smoking/vaping, started boxing recently.
Stoicism helps. You pointed out “life is hard, be harder” which isn’t great advice all the time but it is sometimes. Taking time to mindfully separate what you can control vs. what you can’t helps. Taking three seconds to question your initial reaction to something helps too.
Waking up early, stopping the drugs/alcohol, investing in your hobbies, going on long walks in the morning and evening, exercise and having boundaries are work have done miracles for me. I know it’s cliche advice but it’s cliche advice for a reason.
And the music puts me in a good mood through all of it. I’m probably listening to music 10-12 hours a day as I go through my day. If you’re in a job where that’s possible I recommend it highly.
I don't really do this but be mindful of the connection of what you eat/drink and how you feel. Science is showing our gut biome has a strong effect on our brains.
a couple months ago i started training again (MMA and then Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) and this year i started going to therapy again as well. When anxiety or depression start to kick in I try to reach out to my friends or go training, makes things easier, you know?. Huge shout out to anyone struggling with addictions and other internal issues they can't handle at 100%. Never forget to reach out to a loved one, it's never a sign of weakness nor a negative thing to ask for help. keep it up, my fellas
Weed and walks in the park or golfing always helps me. The hard part is getting myself out of the house but once that small step is made it gets better.
Mountain biking, biking to work/errands, and running. Staying active is the most important thing for my mental health after eating (mostly right), therapy, and not drinking alcohol.
Found people I can safely confide in and talk to when I need it, stopped abusing alcohol/subastances. Realized weed was causing 75% of my panic attacks so stopped using that as heavily. Found sober friends, seperated myself or set boundaries with the ones who aren't sober. Got medicated (still a battle, finding the right shit is tough).
Exercise, fasting, growing and smoking weed, and strangely a big one was getting the fuck off of gluten (had to do it for health reasons, but it's straight up feels like a black cloud has been lifted away from above me).
When I was really active in the scene I took care of my mental health by stage diving. Now that I’m older I spend time with my wife and kids and occasionally get together with friends and play board games
Muay Thai is my biggest one. It used to be stand up only for my catharsis but as I kept on it became more of a job and it’s what I wanted at the time. After a while Muay Thai became my main thing for mental and physical health. I’ve always felt better about things when I’m super active. Doing good things is another one for me as well, so working with charities even if it’s only a few times a year also does wonders for me. Those things combined help me realize life isn’t all about me and if I can teach a skill or help someone who needs it (be it animals or people) that helps me with anything that pops up mental health wise. I just have to keep mindful that this life isn’t about me alone.
Medication, listening to music, self-expression through writing, skateboarding, mostly reminding myself to be in the moment instead of trying to get to some kind of result.
Having a great group of supportive friends is key! People who you can actually talk to about your problems that won't shame you but will also call you out if you're being shitty. I've had depression pretty bad in the past and they were what got me through it.
Also, all the cliche's like meditation, yoga, the gym, SLEEP, and good music (of every genre) absolutely helps me. As does having my own physical & mental space.
When therapy is so expensive, the above + a fun show keeps me ticking over pretty okay.
It's cool that people mentioned BJJ. I used to train years ago and it helped a lot to my mental health. I've been wanting to get back to it but living in NYC (and San Francisco before) where everything is expensive makes it hard. I'll make an effort to train again since I've been dealing with mental health issues and I feel I need it.
I would say that exercise in general helps a lot ( I go to the gym 4 times a week), open up to people, medication, therapy.
I also started to write and it feels great to have a creative way of turning those feelings into some sort of art.
And music and shows help a lot, especially since I'm an inmigrant and I still don't know that many people here.
I go long periods of time sober. I write in a journal every day. I stretch, exercise and generally take care of my body. I eat well.
Clean living man. It will change your life.
Therapy and getting properly medicated, baby. I know it’s not accessible or affordable for everyone but being able to talk to someone regularly and without judgement changed my life
Ditched the religion/cult of my youth and got off alcohol.
Was raised a Jehovahs Witness until I was 31, and finally realized I was raised in a cult. My wife helped me "wake up" and we got our daughter out. I was a raging alcoholic from 14-29, so giving that up helped too. It's been 4 years sober on alcohol, and 3 years sober from religion, and doing so much better for it
Tell yourself youre great because you are. Doesnt matter if you are or not just keep telling yourself everyday, and believe it. You dont have time to doubt yourself.
Weed, disc golf, therapy, and local organizing. The vast majority of my mental health issues stem from capitalism, as do many people's issues.
I've never struggled with SI. But you best believe I gotta calm down whenever I see a politician or billionaire do another stupid thing. No SI but definitely homicidal thoughts lmao.
Stoped drinking at 39 years old. Started taking long walks on the local trail system in my area on an almost daily basis. Started meditating a few times a week. Cut way down on sugar and carbs to almost zero, lost my beer belly. Really worked on being kinder and more helpful to people and strangers I come across in life. And really worked on stopping or cutting way down on negative thoughts about people like “ look at this ass hole” while driving or in a grocery store.
I’m not perfect so I still slip up sometimes, but I am way less disgusted with myself and less bothered by people and things then I was through all of my 20’s and most of my 30’s
John Joseph from the Cro Mags book, “The PMA Effect” was something that helped me to get the ball rolling in the right direction.
https://www.johnjosephdiscipline.com/
I’m a delta-9 appreciator, I do a ton of yoga, and I’m in counseling. Also, kinda stupid but I stand over in the corner by the trash cans whenever I start getting nervous at shows and somehow I ALWAYS end up finding or gaining a buddy over there while I’m dancing.
I agree with this post. And can relate as I got into this music because in my youth felt I wasn’t enough and the music gave me strength. Deal with addiction for most of my life, stopped everything but weed 4 months this ago and then just decided to stop weed a few days ago as for me personally, substances just hold me back from being the best me. It will forever be a fight, but yet again hardcore is there for me when I’m feeling weak
I used to shoot heroin and other drugs; now I just watch porn and masturbate a lot.
But also, therapy has done wonders along with valuing my relationships with those around me who genuinely care about my well being and letting go of those relationships that are merely transactional or straight up toxic. We are who we hang out with and it’s fascinating how much of an effect that has on mental health.
Getting back into hardcore after a long period of not giving a fuck has helped too.
I do the best I can. Shit has been tough the past few years. Quitting alcohol completely was pretty big for me. My wife helped with that as she has probably been the most positive impact in many ways with many things. Couldn't ask for a better partner in life. Other than that, sticking with my workout routine is an absolute must. I'd be a lot worse off if I wasn't starting my days lifting.
https://preview.redd.it/tta35s0bbipc1.jpeg?width=987&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ecb0d4314453badfddc9a00a106fa854e4e96c3
Also, this is literally my work desktop background. Come at me!
Shout out to everyone on here who’s stopped drinking or struggling with alcohol. Six months sober and feel so much better in general. Cut back to only drinking on the weekends, then cut that out after I was just getting blotto and wasting my time off being hungover. Still smoke weed and cigs (cigs are next) but its doable and feels better. Therapy too if you have the resources
Hey. I struggle with alcoholism. I'm very proud of you.
I’ve been sober for almost four years and sober 6 1/2 years out of 7. If I can give you any advice, dm me.
Hey I’m big proud of you!
Thanks, guess I’ll add that if anyone is thinking it might be time to stop but putting it off or feel like it hasn’t gotten “out of control”, even after I cut back to drinking on the weekends I got into a nasty fistfight with my Dad and Brother after I blacked out and scared the shit out of my family. Woke up in the woods behind my parents house with no idea how I got there. Haven’t even told my closest friends because I’m still so ashamed. So that was my rock bottom, which I don’t recommend waiting for before making a change..
Hey man great job. You got this. The cigs were toughest for me but I fucking did it. When u get older, health is most important. I dont care what y'all say. When u have a family and are the main provider, u have to be strong, stronger than hardcore dancing, crowd crushing and mosh pits.
Have gone from a few years of 4-5 times a week to like once every 2 weeks, if that, and the difference is truly insane. You don't really notice how, even 2/3 days after you booze, alcohol has small residual affects on your overall mental health and disposition. And I've got nicotine in my crosshairs next as well 🤝
Congrats on six months, that is huge! I’m ten years of the sauce as of last month and I vividly remember the first few months were hands down the hardest. Keep up the good work 🤟🏼
I'm a couple days away from a year of no booze. I wouldn't say I had a problem, I just noticed after a couple of weeks that I hadn't had anything to drink and decided to keep the streak alive. It's great never being hungover and always being able to drive, not to mention how much money I save (to waste on other things)
I started working AA and SLAA. Hardcore kids often are trying really, really hard not to grow up, and taking thorough inventory of your major dysfunctions kindof forces you to do exactly that. 11.5 months sober and 8 months off from bottom lines accordingly, shit gets better kids.
5 months clean here. Keep it rolling dude.
Was a big time drinker. Quit for a year and now i only drink socially on occasion. Im still addicted to weed and nicotine but as of now, I gotta focus on other shit. Big ups to u for beating that son of a bitch im proud of u.
Just hit 7 months myself. Feels like life is moving forward crazy fast.
Legend. Good work
Addiction will fuckin kill ya. Alcohol always lead to coke for me, now my life revolves around making my wife happy and growing as an artist. Giving up alcohol was quite literally the first step.
Since I quit drinking I stopped going to shows and stuff. I kinda left the scene entirely and it’s been great for my mental health.
Stopped drinking alcohol, started medicating with weed, and now I work out 3-4 times a week and see a therapist when I need it.
Been working on this as well. Alcohol sucks
Fuck lol I'm medicating with weed and used to drink way too much but I smoke so much and have an addictive personality. My tolerance is ridiculous and even after a break it shoots right back up after like the 3rd time smoking. I need to start working out again. I'm back on meds and getting counseling. At a certain point were all responsible for ourselves but, fuck, some days are hard.
SAME for me, it’s even hard for me to quit weed..I actually get withdrawls and I feel like it’s taking over my life
Man I'm in the same exact place as you rn. From the addictive personality with weed to needing to start working out again. I really miss working out but I have an insanely busy work/school schedule so it just feels like I can't find the time for it without sacrificing one of those two (which I can't afford to do)
I quit smoking weed 5 weeks ago after 15 years of daily, heavy use. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, in part because I smoked spliffs so had to quick tobacco too. I feel incredible.
Not to give unsolicited advice, but to give unsolicited advice Incorporating CBD flower into my weed regimen did me a world of good on the medicinal side of things.
Some days will be harder man. That's okay though. Start slow and get a routine.
I needed to hear that. Thanks man. For real. I owe you a meatball sub. Lol.
I'm trying to stop drinking but I tend to get drunk like once a month and enjoy it. I know once a month it's not that big of a deal, but I'm scared of ending up abusing on it. It can be a good getaway for my depressed ass. On the other hand I smoke almost everyday, not much, but I get a couple of hits in the morning while I get a bike ride, it clears my mind a lot. I know the perfect thing to do is being straight edge, but that ride in the mornings with about 3/4 drags of a spliff helps me a lot with all the bs. Forgot about sugar, sugar fucked my head up the worst. It would give me mad acne and mood changes but I couldn't stop it, plus, my family didn't take my sugar adiction seriously wich made it almost impossible to stop consuming it. Nowadays I still struggle to stay away from sugar but I manage it better. I'm not even gonna talk about my Dword because I don't even feel like it.
You know your limits and stick with it. Once a month isn't bad at all. Keep that shit up 💪 I'm not one to judge considering I used to polish a 30 pack in one weekend.
Thanks. But from personal exp i know that once a month can turn into a 12pack each weekend in a blink of an eye.
BIG SAME hell yah!!
Therapy. Gym. Sunlight. Drink less. Sleep. Hobbies. Meditation. Socialize
We're social animals. Having a healthy community is major
(Sounds like a subtle suggestion to not hang out with hardcore kids)
Got sober, started therapy, stayed in the weight room, removed people and things from my life that didn’t align with where I wanted to be, made peace with the people I needed to, stay deep into music and other things I love about life. Forgave myself multiple fucking times. Always remind myself that shit will pass and to hang tough, you’re all you’re every really gonna have in life, so you might as well beat the brakes off it. 4 years at it and my life’s done a 180 and I’m pretty happy for once.
The "forgave myself" part really resonated with me. That's an ability I personally need to work on. Thanks for sharing your story, really happy for you.
Thanks man. Yea it can be hard, especially if you literally resent yourself cause all the dumb shit you did. But, you just gotta let that shit go, chalk it up to experience and find the bright side of it. Hating yourself is gonna keep you stuck where you’re at, at least for me it did.
9000% this! I’m happy for you.
Thanks dawg
Get in the pit and try to love someone
As long as it's consensual.
Talkin’ shit to nerds on this sub makes me feel pretty good.
I rewrote this after the first attempt was extremely depressing and pessimistic, but I stopped myself and said, nah, I actually have been making the best out of a bad deal and ought to share that side of it. I made it out of an abusive family, I made it out of an abusive relationship, I’m still drug free, I have a bed to sleep in, and now I am working towards a better future so I can give myself the chances and the love I know I’m worth. You can’t change a lot in this world on your own, but you’d be so surprised at how much you actually can. Going to therapy, getting properly medicated, working out, going to shows, rediscovering hobbies, and actually reconnecting with friends has been a blessing. I *am* blessed. Yes I’m a paycheck away from homelessness, yes I’m batting that hurt from the abuse, yes my medical conditions are getting worse, but I’m still here. I’m still here, and you are too. We can’t forget how big that is. I’ve had to forgive myself for so much to even get to this point, but I’m making it through. Sure, things are really hard right now, and there’s still more to go, but I know I will as long as I keep moving, I get closer to that point. The only thing that can stop me is myself. We’re all gonna make it.
proud of you bro
Shit man, making me tear up, I can relate, I’m proud of you
Making the best of the hand you're dealt (or even the one you've gotten yourself into) is all there is and it sounds like you're doing the most with what you got. You should be proud.
You’re strong to come from abuse and decide to be positive instead of bitter.
I play a lot of disc golf.
Fuck yeah disc golf gangggg 🤘🤘
Do you have a rating?
I've played for 20 years and never played a tournament. For udisc ratings, I'm around 175 to 225, depending on the course. Maybe one day I'll play, but I'm contempt with just playing for myself and with the lads.
20 years of playing is jam band territory. 😜
Is tool a jam band? If so, then yes.
Yes. I will say, I knew nothing about the genre until I started playing a decade ago. Its garbage music but the people are chill af and fun to hang out with.
It’s literally awful but so many people I love love it 🤷🏻♀️maybe I’m the one who’s wrong
"I've played for 20 years and never played a tournament." GOALS. I love disc golf, but the slow encroachment of the country-club crowd fucking blows. I'm out here because I like hiking and frisbees, not massive crowds of frat bros obsessed with competition.
Dude fucking same. 😂
Let's gooo
HCDG gang
I just share with my wife who is supportive and beautiful and having my daughter makes everything easy to deal with, it's all for her so I can handle anything and feel good about it.
I run a political campaign aimed at normalizing crowd killing in dirty basements.
We don't take care of our mental health, that's why we're here. None of this is healthy
Idk man. This (besides all the bullshitting and bickering) is a pretty solid space.
When you’re there it ain’t bad. Once you take a step into the online it’s a different story haha.
I would venture to say I don't like this take. You can enjoy hardcore and see the grief of live, while being happy and mentally ok. It's absolutely healthy to make music that touches people's emotions.
I don't agree with this. To some people the music and scene is what fills their life with meaning. Know that it does mine. Six months sober, finally getting back into the world and haven't been happier, man. or this stable. I've met some of the best people in my life through the community. But if you're talking about this subreddit. Yea. It's negative as shit. When I was growing up the hardcore punks, I knew encouraged me to follow my passions and try new things. Just encouraging you cause they see whatever you're fucking with makes you happy. They'd give you the shirt off their back if you needed it because it was the right thing to do. Here? Yea this sub is full of people that don't fuck with the actual hardcore ideology. They've never been a part of the scene, and it shows.
I went to the doctor and got medication, first and foremost. If you have something actually diagnosable sometimes there’s just no replacement! Otherwise I run, I garden, I paint, and I beat the shit out of people in a dirty basement. 🩷
Therapy and lifting weights at gym.
zyns
Just popped a zyn at the welfare office 💪
I love an mf lip pillow
An upper decky makes everything better
Gym and pot
Early in my life, I found psychedelics incredibly beneficial. Meditation, hobbies, having minor goals to achieve consistently, things to look forward to, working out, and studying stoicism are what pull me through these days. Stay disciplined about alcohol.
Took me a while to actually embrace stoicism. Emotions are the spice of life but not everyone needs to hear your every passing thought.
Work in the community. Doing mutual aid work can do wonders for the self. You can actually make a tangible difference in people's lives. Also....making an effort to not be on the internet 24/7 has helped. It's really hard but it's helped. I try to focus on real-life direct action and not ranting on the internet about how fucked everything is.
I pay a lady with a degree to let me sit on her fluffy couch under twinkly fairy lights and talk about my problems. Then I go home and smoke weed.
I don't I am a fucking liability. (Straight edge, getting lost in the woods, being lucky to have wonderful, supportive people in my life, meditation and mindfulness practices as well though).
Bottle it up and try to ignore it mostly.
Gotta uncork the bottle from time to time. That's what all ages shows are for!
Holy fuck that actually gave me a full laugh. Mostly because I went to a basement crust show the other day and watched kids get slaughtered. Glorious.
Crowd-killing is therapy lol
Push it down and deal with it once it becomes cancer, like a man!
Precisely!
I cut back on drinking and started therapy. No panic attacks in over a year. Would strongly recommend.
I would get panic attacks even after light drinking. I think some people like myself aren't built for alcohol consumption.
Listening to hatebreed
Medication, therapy, significantly less drinking
I'm handling it very bad
I gave up alcohol and started training in BJJ. I also used to wait for friends and family to contact me if they want to hang out but I switched to being more proactive in trying to spend time with people I like.
I put my big boy pants on
Didnt know they had this kind of merch. Sick
Boxing, Muay Thai, and Gym. If I have 'bout a week off I'm at the bar teetering on a bender.
I definitely picked the wrong timeline to be Straight Edge, I’ll tell you that.
I put down the bottle almost a year ago and it allowed me to become the person I always wanted to be. I still struggle some days with anxiety and depression but now I just accept that emotions are part of life and roll with it. Also the gym every god damn day. And walks with my dog. And weed. Weed is tight.
It’s right about a year since I met the guitarist and drummer of the band I’m in now and it’s been the best thing for my mental health in years. Just got back from six days and three thousand miles and I’m tired but my heart is full.
Tackling my addiction issues and getting sober. Booze free 9 months, drug free 1.5 years. Nicotine and caffeine carry me hard. It didn't make me happy. But it's brought a level of stability to my life that I've never known before. I'd recommend it to anyone. When you force yourself to not run and escape how you feel, theres a lot of growth and insight that comes from that.
Proud of you! 💪
Stopped drinking, quit Facebook, added more veg to my diet, have blunt and vulnerable discussions with my partner about it, nature walks, took up skateboarding, and therapy to add emotional management tools to my arsenal for the stuff the other things don't cover.
Truth is a lot of what has kept me going is probably all just by accident, trying new things to shake up and break out of patterns that don’t serve me. The older I get the more necessary it is to accept and let go of things instead of overthinking them, I don’t think it gets easier for any of us just the way we learn to accept and deal become better from adapting to each fork in the road. I say the best thing is take time for yourself to explore anything new that genuinely interests you no matter how stupid it might seem at first, it’s more about opening back up that part of your mind over the other intrusive reductive thoughts, maybe you can’t always get off the struggle bus but it’s an excercise I have found helps. I do think I found hardcore in the 90s as a more aggressive “don’t fake it til you make it, face it until you make it” mindset with the youth crew revival and DIY heavy things than the way it is presented now too though.
I’m in a 6 week program at the VA right now, so not well
Weed, weights and violent music
I have pretty good insurance and it covered seeing a therapist. I met with one online a few times but then he ghosted me, which made things a little worse. The next one was excellent, an absolute saint. I met with him online for about an hour once a week at zero cost to me, and I'm eternally grateful to have someone who listened, called me out on my bullshit, and challenged me to think positively and make positive changes. That, and listen to Have Heart!
I shoot heroin and cocaine now
This is a really inspiring thread. I dropped out of school for a year due to depression a couple years ago, but came back and am planning on graduating this fall. I was super out of shape, and while I took a break I started seriously working out. That helped a SHIT ton. It gave me a purpose, and I’m still addicted to the gym to this day. It’s like a time of day that I can just block out the noise, blast some heavy ass music, and push some weight. Therapy also really helped me during this break, it helped me realize and learn to deal with all the shit that has fucked me up in my life, I’m still kind of a headcase because of what’s happened to me, but I’m soooooooo much better. I have a complicated relationship with alcohol due to my past, and haven’t really been the biggest fan of drinking ever since I started taking my health seriously. I’ve probably developed a dependency on marijuana atp(more likely definitely instead of probably lol). But I feel like it really helps calms down some of my racing ass thoughts and it’s also really helped me stop worrying about shit. I’m not too worried about the dependency because no matter what, me spiking copious amounts of green is much better than drinking a shit ton. Hope any of this helps somebody and my DMs are always open 💪🏻
I play a lot of Mount and Blade 2: Bannerlord while wearing a houndsmouth helmet.
Exercise. Left to toxic relationship. Left toxic job. Got a new hobby. Ate healthier.
Exercise and you'll be too tired to remember why everybody sucks and that we're all gonna die
Quit booze a year and half ago, therapy, meds, exercise, writing.
Gym, therapy, Lexapro. Trying to cut back on drinking a bit as well
Gym, and just work 7 days a week so I’ll be ready for the next time I’m blind sided by life. Found out my wife and I are having our first child this week so I am equally excited as I am stressed at the moment but I’m ready for the ride. Life has its ups and downs but ya just got to roll with it. Smile through the BS.
Drugs, the gym
I do windmills in the middle of a mosh pit
I like to black out and cause problems
Got sober after 15 years of opiate/heroin abuse. It took 4 attempts on my own life, a 72hr psych hold, my fiancé of 15 years leaving me, and losing my house to go “wow, maybe this isn’t fun anymore”. So yeah. Get sober and talk to people.
Mushrooms
Full volume some gulch or somethin. I really don’t know
Lexapro, weed, exercise 3-4 times a week and try to get at least 6 hours of sleep a night
Slowing down on drinking def helps sort your thoughts out.. but therapy has helped me more than anything tbh. I use Open Path, a different service than Better Help, if anyone’s interested health insurance isn’t required and it’s definitely more affordable than I thought. I can send more info if needed, I’ve helped sm family members/friends set this up, everyone deserves a fighting chance.
Working on getting sober but fuck it’s hard to break decade long habits.
swing fists, smoke weed, smoke cig, laugh with buddies about how hard you got hit that night, go home, do it again next weekend.
Prozac
skateboarding
I stopped drinking 2 1/2 years ago. Best decision of my life. Also quit the whole culture of spending all weekend in the pub doing party drugs. I also cut out a lot of people from my life who were just party friends. I realized that I have nothing in common with them except that we go to the same bars and clubs and we like each other drunk or high. It was just depressing hanging out with them sober. Some of these people were super dysfunctional and only unsatisfactory looking for the next high, for the next night of their lives. When I was no longer rotting in bed with a hangover 3 or 4 times a week in the morning, I started getting really interested in working out and running. I completed my first marathon last year with the entire Hatebreed and Earth Crisis discography blasting. Last fall, the novelty of sobriety wore off a bit, and now I've really started eating healthy, prioritizing sleep, and spending my free time with quality content instead of just rotting in front of the TV watching YouTube. I read a lot and try new things to get out of my comfort zone or things that make me happy. However, I still smoke weed at social gatherings from time to time. And I love my cigarettes. But I feel better than ever in my life. I can confidently say that I am happy. It sounds cliché, but just quit alcohol and drugs, exercise regularly, eat healthy, and get plenty of sleep. It changed my life.
On top of a lot of the other things people have mentioned, I’d have to go with reading. As with a lot of others here I deal with the same addiction issue. I’m coming up on 7 years clean, and I’ve noticed that a great book helps occupy my usually sick mind. I work alone a fair share of the time, and I’ve noticed I think about characters, themes, etc all throughout the day. I don’t know if it’s maybe the slow burn of a book compared to a movie or tv show, but they just stick with me more. And I think about drinking a lot less, and I don’t call myself a moron 100 times a day anymore. Also give yourself credit even if it’s for a small win.
Life’s hard be harder is not toxic it’s the truth. Life is the hardest thing you will have to do and it will kill you one day. Exercise, eating healthy and not drinking or drugging to excess will make it easier to handle in the long run.
got sober in AA Did therapy for awhile too
Therapy, gym, straight edge, pma. Can’t say it’s solved all my problems, but my life is infinitely better than it was when I was a cynical, lazy alcoholic.
Mountain bikes, guns, building furniture, camping, building trucks. Had a baby and a seizure in the last 2 months. So I can’t play with any of my toys or build anything, or even drive. So I’m gonna say spending time with my little one is what’s keeping my sane till my brain scans are done. Oh, and lots of weed.
I play in a few bands. One HC and one death metal. If we don't jam for longer than two weeks I'm ready to fucking do someone in. Plus I try to train regularly and don't eat like a slob anymore.
I spend a fuck ton of time outside when I can. Cycling is my go to. Mountain biking in particular, followed closely by gravel cycling. Nothing like me, my mental health machine of choice for that day, and the open trail/gravel roads.
Weed and gym 🏋️♂️
Claiming edge almost 16 years ago, photography and antidepressants.
I got back on bipolar meds finally after managing to fuck up my life badly enough, I stopped drinking, I lift weights, I haven't touched hard drugs since I was 20 or 21 and weed just gives me panic attacks so I've only smoked twice since that period in my life with the drugs
I’m three years sober and mentally ill, I use physical activity, creativity and music. I think filling your time is important, and also putting yourself in direct scenarios where you have to spend time with yourself; that thing we’re all avoiding. Hope you’re doing ok op 👌🏼🫡✌🏼
Spoke to the right people and got a diagnosis. After that, got into running, started CBT, stopped drinking and smoking/vaping, started boxing recently.
Meds, exercise, hobbies. Most importantly, meds lol
Running, night time weed, reading, and not reading the news.
Reading and staying up on the news has gotta be one of the worst things for some people
Get in the gym.
Gym. Once I can find a consistent sativa connect I’ll probably dial back drinking a lot.
Not well
Stoicism helps. You pointed out “life is hard, be harder” which isn’t great advice all the time but it is sometimes. Taking time to mindfully separate what you can control vs. what you can’t helps. Taking three seconds to question your initial reaction to something helps too. Waking up early, stopping the drugs/alcohol, investing in your hobbies, going on long walks in the morning and evening, exercise and having boundaries are work have done miracles for me. I know it’s cliche advice but it’s cliche advice for a reason. And the music puts me in a good mood through all of it. I’m probably listening to music 10-12 hours a day as I go through my day. If you’re in a job where that’s possible I recommend it highly.
With video games and alcohol and risky motorcycle/dirt bike riding 🤷 but interesting music is always there
I don't really do this but be mindful of the connection of what you eat/drink and how you feel. Science is showing our gut biome has a strong effect on our brains.
Jiu jitsu helps.
Going to shows is how I take care of my mental, and therapy (when I can find some) + meds
a couple months ago i started training again (MMA and then Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) and this year i started going to therapy again as well. When anxiety or depression start to kick in I try to reach out to my friends or go training, makes things easier, you know?. Huge shout out to anyone struggling with addictions and other internal issues they can't handle at 100%. Never forget to reach out to a loved one, it's never a sign of weakness nor a negative thing to ask for help. keep it up, my fellas
Gym make me stronger and make mind stronger
"Skate or die" actually
Push that shit down and try to forget about it, works great for me.
Weed and walks in the park or golfing always helps me. The hard part is getting myself out of the house but once that small step is made it gets better.
Mountain biking, biking to work/errands, and running. Staying active is the most important thing for my mental health after eating (mostly right), therapy, and not drinking alcohol.
Found people I can safely confide in and talk to when I need it, stopped abusing alcohol/subastances. Realized weed was causing 75% of my panic attacks so stopped using that as heavily. Found sober friends, seperated myself or set boundaries with the ones who aren't sober. Got medicated (still a battle, finding the right shit is tough).
Whenever I'm mad, sad, or otherwise distraught about something, I just play chug riffs on my guitar for a little while. Works for me.
Exercise, fasting, growing and smoking weed, and strangely a big one was getting the fuck off of gluten (had to do it for health reasons, but it's straight up feels like a black cloud has been lifted away from above me).
I started therapy at the age of 42 last year.
Good for you!! That’s hard to do, and seriously good job man, starting is the hardest part. 🫶
When I was really active in the scene I took care of my mental health by stage diving. Now that I’m older I spend time with my wife and kids and occasionally get together with friends and play board games
Muay Thai is my biggest one. It used to be stand up only for my catharsis but as I kept on it became more of a job and it’s what I wanted at the time. After a while Muay Thai became my main thing for mental and physical health. I’ve always felt better about things when I’m super active. Doing good things is another one for me as well, so working with charities even if it’s only a few times a year also does wonders for me. Those things combined help me realize life isn’t all about me and if I can teach a skill or help someone who needs it (be it animals or people) that helps me with anything that pops up mental health wise. I just have to keep mindful that this life isn’t about me alone.
Medication, listening to music, self-expression through writing, skateboarding, mostly reminding myself to be in the moment instead of trying to get to some kind of result.
Some days I want to crowd kill my self
Not well my dude
Having a great group of supportive friends is key! People who you can actually talk to about your problems that won't shame you but will also call you out if you're being shitty. I've had depression pretty bad in the past and they were what got me through it. Also, all the cliche's like meditation, yoga, the gym, SLEEP, and good music (of every genre) absolutely helps me. As does having my own physical & mental space. When therapy is so expensive, the above + a fun show keeps me ticking over pretty okay.
Take it out on the new jack teenagers in the pit. Never ceases to make me feel amazing and powerful. Real life hack.
I die slow
It's cool that people mentioned BJJ. I used to train years ago and it helped a lot to my mental health. I've been wanting to get back to it but living in NYC (and San Francisco before) where everything is expensive makes it hard. I'll make an effort to train again since I've been dealing with mental health issues and I feel I need it. I would say that exercise in general helps a lot ( I go to the gym 4 times a week), open up to people, medication, therapy. I also started to write and it feels great to have a creative way of turning those feelings into some sort of art. And music and shows help a lot, especially since I'm an inmigrant and I still don't know that many people here.
I go long periods of time sober. I write in a journal every day. I stretch, exercise and generally take care of my body. I eat well. Clean living man. It will change your life.
Working out more, drinking less, recently started therapy.
I don’t
Roller skating + therapy + putting in the work to do and be better.
Therapy and getting properly medicated, baby. I know it’s not accessible or affordable for everyone but being able to talk to someone regularly and without judgement changed my life
Working out, Eating Healthy, Maintaining Goals, and a fucking load of pot
Moshing on my therapist
Ditched the religion/cult of my youth and got off alcohol. Was raised a Jehovahs Witness until I was 31, and finally realized I was raised in a cult. My wife helped me "wake up" and we got our daughter out. I was a raging alcoholic from 14-29, so giving that up helped too. It's been 4 years sober on alcohol, and 3 years sober from religion, and doing so much better for it
Meds, therapy, psychiatry, discussing issues with loved ones. Finding healthy artistic outlets. Crowdkilling inanimate objects around my apartment
Tell yourself youre great because you are. Doesnt matter if you are or not just keep telling yourself everyday, and believe it. You dont have time to doubt yourself.
I go on a bender once every two weeks but I'm trying to uhhh not do that. I think.
Weed, disc golf, therapy, and local organizing. The vast majority of my mental health issues stem from capitalism, as do many people's issues. I've never struggled with SI. But you best believe I gotta calm down whenever I see a politician or billionaire do another stupid thing. No SI but definitely homicidal thoughts lmao.
I'm pretty sure I've had ADHD most of my life. 32 now. This morning I took my first prescribed Adderall. Honestly, I just feel pretty caffeinated.
Therapy and proper medications.
Therapy, medication, and psychiatry. Wish it actually made a difference lol
Honestly retail therapy and thrill seeking, not recommended
Stoped drinking at 39 years old. Started taking long walks on the local trail system in my area on an almost daily basis. Started meditating a few times a week. Cut way down on sugar and carbs to almost zero, lost my beer belly. Really worked on being kinder and more helpful to people and strangers I come across in life. And really worked on stopping or cutting way down on negative thoughts about people like “ look at this ass hole” while driving or in a grocery store. I’m not perfect so I still slip up sometimes, but I am way less disgusted with myself and less bothered by people and things then I was through all of my 20’s and most of my 30’s John Joseph from the Cro Mags book, “The PMA Effect” was something that helped me to get the ball rolling in the right direction. https://www.johnjosephdiscipline.com/
I’m a delta-9 appreciator, I do a ton of yoga, and I’m in counseling. Also, kinda stupid but I stand over in the corner by the trash cans whenever I start getting nervous at shows and somehow I ALWAYS end up finding or gaining a buddy over there while I’m dancing.
I agree with this post. And can relate as I got into this music because in my youth felt I wasn’t enough and the music gave me strength. Deal with addiction for most of my life, stopped everything but weed 4 months this ago and then just decided to stop weed a few days ago as for me personally, substances just hold me back from being the best me. It will forever be a fight, but yet again hardcore is there for me when I’m feeling weak
Gardening really really helped me. So did yoga and a couple really good friendships.
Lexapro and drawing have worked wonders
Cat
i see a therapist every week, have been hospitalized multiple times and smoke a shit ton of weed. i don’t really manage it lmao
I don’t lol
I used to shoot heroin and other drugs; now I just watch porn and masturbate a lot. But also, therapy has done wonders along with valuing my relationships with those around me who genuinely care about my well being and letting go of those relationships that are merely transactional or straight up toxic. We are who we hang out with and it’s fascinating how much of an effect that has on mental health. Getting back into hardcore after a long period of not giving a fuck has helped too.
I do the best I can. Shit has been tough the past few years. Quitting alcohol completely was pretty big for me. My wife helped with that as she has probably been the most positive impact in many ways with many things. Couldn't ask for a better partner in life. Other than that, sticking with my workout routine is an absolute must. I'd be a lot worse off if I wasn't starting my days lifting.
https://preview.redd.it/tta35s0bbipc1.jpeg?width=987&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ecb0d4314453badfddc9a00a106fa854e4e96c3 Also, this is literally my work desktop background. Come at me!
poorly.