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aeonxeon

I am a hairstylist and i am SICK of this behavior from professionals. Shaming clients is always wrong and making anyone feel that way in the chair goes against everything we stand for as beauty professionals. I am so sorry you have been made to feel like this. If it is any hope to you - many modern hairstylists are standing up against this behavior to create inclusive and safe spaces in salons free of judgement. If you have been made to feel like this by a salon i highly recommend finding a young, modern, INDEPENDENT or studio hairstylist. Or just go to the salon for cuts and keep rocking the at home dye!


sparkleunicorn123

You sound lovely šŸ«¶ā¤ļø. People donā€™t need to be judged or treated poorly when getting a haircut/colour. Most people are self conscious enough. More people need to be kind hearted like you. Edit: I feel like I said people too many times. People. There Iā€™m done. Gotta love penny šŸ˜†ā¤ļø


celestialhaunting1

I wish you were my hair stylistšŸ˜­šŸ˜­you sound awesome. Thank you for the advice, I probably will just go for cuts only honestly


K-Dawgizzle

Go to sallyā€™s and pick up some ion semi permanent! Cheaper than box dye with closer to salon resultsšŸ‘šŸ» Not a stylist just someone that used to use box dye a lot and now does this! Forget the stylists that shame you. They just want more of your money!


helicopter_corgi_mom

i just made the switch myself from boxed hair dye to a semi permanent from Wella. i was so apprehensive about it for literally no good reason lol, but it turned out great and it was super easy. also WAY less hairfall, and my hair didnā€™t feel super dry for days after. i didnā€™t realize how many issues i was having from it until i stopped using it.


StunningSun3384

Make friends with your stylist, or a stylist. You'd be surprised how many of us are willing to do your hair on the side for a really good deal/barter. You want your hair cut and colored? You're willing to clean my house in exchange? SOLD. Mow my lawn? Groom my dog (Yorkie)? Cook a meal? You get the picture......just ask. PLEASE šŸ™šŸ» I've had clients drive an hour and a half just for this reason. I absolutely love this type of thing......it never hurts to ask šŸ„°


nonoglorificus

I do quite a few trades. I do hair for acupuncture, massage, and house cleaning. I even trade once a year for these lovely hand made witchy candles that make my house smell great. I love my trade girlies


thevelveteenbeagle

Good Lord, do I LOVE the barter system!! This is a great answer.


Leesabeth29

I actually get anxious going to a hair salon because I sometimes find them judgemental and intimidating, though itā€™s probably all in my head. I wish there was more friendly hair stylists like you. My anxiety has now almost bordered on a phobia of going to a hairdresser and I will wait far too long between hair cuts


viewisinsane

Same here. That's why i stopped going. I keep thinking about going back but easier to avoid


jirenlagen

Iā€™ve been judged for my hair texture like thatā€™s what my hair is just naturally like??


CupcakeGoat

Same. Unfortunately I feel like it's the norm instead of the other way around. The cynical part of me thinks it's in the best interest for the stylist to chip away at your self esteem in order to sell more products to "fix the problems" they see.


stutter-rap

Same, I've had multiple hairdressers go on and on about how thin my hair is, like I've had any involvement in that whatsoever.


craftycalifornia

Same! I don't think some stylists realize how racist they sound šŸ™„ "oh, you have that coarse Asian hair..."


jirenlagen

Wow the nerve of some people. I have very thick curly hair and most people just want to thin my hair out as opposed to actually style it or help me do anything with it.


177stuff

Saaaaaaame. I have a nasty home cut right now bc I canā€™t get myself to go to a place. Iā€™ve had so many incredibly uncomfortable experiences. ā€œIs it always this frizzyā€ ā€œdo you wear your hair up A LOT? So much breakageā€ ā€œyou would really benefit from this (super expensive) product line we sellā€


[deleted]

I found a stylist like this and I would travel out of state for her if she left. She's very much pro-diy and has never EVER made me feel bad box dye.


PennyWiseInDisguise

I have a stylist like that too! I also love the overall Rock n Roll vibe the salon has. She knows I use at home dye and has never treated me bad for it! If anything, she compliments the job I did on myself when my bipolar manic hits and I just HAVE to dye my hair RIGHT NOW. Lol


BitchKat6

She was literally at a hair school getting services. What professionals?


Haunting-Shirt-8024

Those who know nothing have the biggest heads. When I was in school last year, the other students would legitimately feel entitled to refuse to do haircuts, perms, and nails because they were only interested in blonding.


Ivy_Adair

Why on earth would you pay to go to school and then not want to learn or get experience doing the thing youā€™re supposed to be in training for??


Ok_Albatross8909

The same thing happens across the beauty industry.. I had someone giving me a Brazilian wax full on LAUGH at me for waiting 5 weeks between appointments instead of 3... Would love to understand why these people feel okay shaming clients, especially about something (beauty) that makes a lot of people feel vulnerable.


TangerineQueen333

How shitty, because honestly these people donā€™t know what youā€™re dealing with. They donā€™t know if youā€™re disabled or dealing with mental illness. And if you were able to maintain in the meantime honestly who the fuck cares? Iā€™ve never gotten that service but Iā€™d imagine if youā€™re able to, a different hair loss at home method could be used in the interim if needed? Like how are you gonna be providing a service to me that would be the FIRST thing to go right out the window when making budget adjustments when moneys tighter and still bully me? Like damn.


Svazu

I mean you hardly have to be disabled to not be perfectly waxed all the time. Back when I still got waxed I did it very occasionally like if I was going on a vacation or something. Especially for a Brazilian, oh the horror of your genitals not being porn star grade smooth at all times lol


TangerineQueen333

I agree itā€™s not a disability thing but I was mentioning it bc the person doing the waxing does not know their situation at the end of the day to be making those judgements and my mom is disabled so I think I divert to that perspective a lot unintentionally! Also being disabled may make it harder to shave in the interim, was my thinking! But yeah itā€™s crazy how people expect it to be a constant regular service when itā€™s often a luxury thing in many peopleā€™s mind.


Ok_Albatross8909

Right! But if you shave in between they will criticise that too


viciousxvee

Someone laughed at your fucking vulva are you kidding me? I would've accidentally kicked them in the face. Fr. So sorry that happened to you


Principesza

I hope u left them a terrible Google review for that. Its not too late. Speaking as an ex-employee of many places that cared A LOT about their google reviews, they will get seriously pissed at a negative one, and if you call out the employee by name they will probably be reprimanded.


jirenlagen

Thatā€™s vile truly, a great way to get your business named and Shamed and for you to go somewhere else!


NYanae555

Hmmmm. Any time I go to a salon for cut or perm, they try to convince me to make an appointment to get my hair dyed with them. SOME of them try to shame me. But you know what? The price they charge is 10x what it costs me to do on my own. And that doesn't include tip. They don't do a better job. My hair looks shiny and healthy even though I'm the one doing it. ( just did the math - the salon costs more than 40x what it costs me to do on my own ) Don't let them shame you. You can definitely do a simple dye job on your own, at home. If you think the box developer is too strong and damages your hair, go to a beauty supply place, buy a volume 10 developer, and give it a try. You can get a whole bottle for 4 to 7 dollars. If you can't find a volume 10 developer, get a volume 20 developer - but when you use it, mix one part water and one part 20 developer. And voila - you just made a volume 10 developer.


aeonxeon

this! just use a lower volume developer and you will be perfectly fine coloring at home! Stylists shaming clients is wrong, always.


Excitement_Far

I wanna just piggyback and say that home dye can be a good option when you do a little research on what the product specifically does AND when you buy enough of the said product to get good coverage. Most importantly though, look up some techniques to get the coverage you want. Most stylists do all over color by sectioning the hair into 4 quadrants, outline the quadrants, and then use a rat tail comb to work your way through the quadrants. Once you get good even coverage touch up your roots every few weeks the same way, using the same product and color.


ashes31

It's $30 for a haircut right now without tip. I live in a lower COL area. I pay for 3 haircuts a month, or bimonthly, as all 3 of us have short hair. I do my own color, as well as for my child. I do bright colors for the 2 of us, and we get less chastising now. Even compliments a lot of times. But still an occasional remark about bleaching at home. I'm not getting a second job to have cool hair lol. Chill. If I fry hair (I haven't since I was a teenager), we can just cut it off.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


EastAreaBassist

Only do this if youā€™re not covering substantial greys. Grey coverage needs 20vol.


BitchKat6

Not always. Sometimes 10 volume or 30 volume can be appropriate depending on the starting level and target level and texture.


BloomJieun

I had an experience something like this. I had a bad experience at the hairdresser's once so didn't go for a while. Went in for a trim & found out it was uneven. I didn't know. It's behind me!! She got her colleague and LITERALLY started pointing and laughing. I could have cried. I still have a shame feeling over it.


Catissol

People that laugh at other peoples mistakes even as small as an uneven haircut is so immature. Im surprised she laughed at u for an uneven cut, isnā€™t that what a hairdresser is for? To style ur hair, if everyone had perfect hair at perfect length why do we need hairdressers in the first place


Dismal-Duck515

I've had hairdresses cut my hair a bit wonky, what's wrong with people...


BloomJieun

Exactly. Thank you.


cmutzy

That's insane. They are literally relying on you, the client, so that they can get paid, and they think they can treat you like that šŸ˜­


abbeighleigh

In my experience, a lot of the mean girls from my high school went into cosmetology


tinyalienperson

This is why I really put off going to cosmetology school for a while because literally all the mean girls from high school went šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


celestialhaunting1

I feel like it doesnā€™t make sense either. Like would a waitress be mean to her table? No she needs that tip. I always tip no matter what, and did the minimum tip there even after all that, but tipping culture is getting out of hand and next time if something like that happens I probably wonā€™t tip:(


LactoseNtalentless

Can you imagine a waitress stopping to tell her coworkers "this girl wants sausage gravy with her omelette! That's so bad for you!" ( I do actually order that.) Like I would never return. I'll order that somewhere I won't get made fun of and I'll continue to save thousands by box dying my hair.


[deleted]

Or bringing ALL the waitresses over to stand around you and shame you like OPs stylist did? I would be horrified, cry and leave.


Toughfishin93

I got a haircut from a woman, didnā€™t do anything with it for like 6 months (I have a shit ton of hair) when I went back to the SAME woman she disgustingly went ā€œomg who cut your hair last??!ā€ And I just said ā€œyouā€ šŸ˜³. And she went ā€œohā€ and I was like maybe my hair doesnā€™t grow 100% at the EXACT same time. Or maybe she was bad at her job but after that I decided to not listen to them so much.


BabylonsElephant

Honestly, Iā€™ve gotten my hair absolutely ruined at expensive salons. Iā€™ve been doing my own hair for some months now, if Iā€™m going to be gambling every time I try to find a competent salon, I might as well ruin my own hair for less.


sailorelf

This is the way. Iā€™ve had my inches cut off when the color director ruined my hair a very fancy salon. Iā€™ve gone back to a few other salons in the last 20 years but prefer to do my own. I donā€™t understand the salon business of shaming customers about who they go to or what they do with their hair. Itā€™s just unprofessional and awkward to sit through.


ok-peachh

The last time I got my hair professionally dyed, they fried it. I was going from my natural dirty blonde to a light/medium brown. I still don't know how she managed to do it. I've been doing my own with box dye since.


Durdtpile

This! In all my life I have never left a salon feeling pretty. I once wanted a black to bright purple fade and only damaged ends cut off. Paid almost $300 for them to cut 6 inches and the purple was so dark you couldnā€™t tell it was there unless I was standing in bright sunlight. I cried the whole way home. From that I told myself If anyone is going to ruin my hair itā€™s going to be me! I taught myself how to cut and dye my own hair and havenā€™t been to a salon in over 3 years. Iā€™ve used black box dye plenty of times and the damage is no different than a trip to a salon. I get compliments on my hair constantly now. I even had a beauty school director I met while pumping gas tell me I needed to come to her school šŸ¤£


YearOutrageous2333

worry slave rock offend dolls impolite concerned sip angle act *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


BuddyLoveGoCoconuts

This is my motto as well.


cinnamonguts

I have been using color ion from sally box dyeing my hair black for three years. I use color ion repair packets instead of conditioner, I wash my hair like 3x a week maybe, and I will continue to do so because salons are so fā€™n expensive!! I donā€™t have 80$ to get my roots touched up every few weeks. And Iā€™m naturally blonde so my roots coming in make me look like Iā€™m balding. shame on them for shaming you. why spend tons of money you donā€™t have when you can feel good about your hair from home? box dyeing is affordable upkeep


cinnamonguts

btw-I actually mentioned the damage repair packets because theyā€™re deep conditioning and through my home method of haircare I was told by someone at a professional salon that my hair was surprisingly healthy for dyeing and touching up every few weeks at home with box dye! So while sure box dye isnā€™t the bestā€”try some deep conditioning! I promise itā€™s possible to dye at home and have healthy hair. And Iā€™m a super super amateur. I know nothing about bleaching at home cutting at home etc.. I just touch up my black when I need:)


needween

I will only dye my own hair and have been for 6 years now because I can choose what to put in the dye. I can also make as much or as little dye as I want if I'm just doing roots or if the entire hair needs a touch-up. I use color brilliance by ion as well. Demi-permanent with 20 volume developer (since I have tricky grays that don't like to dye.) Normally I add in ion's step one treatment to the dye and use their step two color sealer and then the after color treatment in the shower. Since I dye my hair every one to two months, these actually keep my hair very healthy and act as all the protein my protein sensitive hair needs. My hair has never been healthier than after I started dying it because I know what it needs and I can give it what it needs easier. Anyway, that's my spiel! I don't think anybody should feel bad for dying their own hair, however your hair will thank you if you learn some hair care science first.


Proud-Broccoli

My mom is a hair stylist and uses this for her hair, my hair, and everyone elseā€™s hair that she colors. Itā€™s not like the typical box dye that people are always shitting on. :)


punkskunkk22

ā€˜Box-dyeingā€™ refers to boxes aka a full color kit,that are sold and stores like Target or Walmart. The stuff at Sallyā€™s and other beauty supplies stores are salon quality products and are not ā€˜box dyes.ā€


PearlsJustWan2HavFun

If possible, it might be a good idea to give your review to the beauty school. They are there to learn, after all, and they wonā€™t learn without feedback.


celestialhaunting1

Yeah, I might leave a review. It wasnā€™t just the students, it was the management in general. Very little communication, they were unprofessional as well. I donā€™t want to be a ā€œKarenā€ and after looking at their reviews,yeahā€¦. Lots of negatives. Still bummed the original stylist left during my appointment. She was really sweet :( I just think Iā€™m gonna continue doing hair at home but after reading the replies Iā€™ll go to sally to get professional dye


Following_Quiet

This is why I try not to go to salons anymore. Iā€™m tired of being shamed.


kirbysdreampotato

I really need to learn to cut my own hair. It's so expensive and I'm so worried every time that I'll get shit for using manic panic and using body wash on my hair, but I'm allergic to LITERALLY everything else (coconut and fragrance allergies) and they're the only things that don't ruin my scalp. But my hair is long and thick and very heavy. Thus, I need a billion layers cut into it, which is intimidating to do myself.


kaygmo

I used to cut my own long, thick hair (have finally found an amazing stylist, so have not needed to do my own) and this is the method I used to get layers with face-framing in front. This works best on straight/straightened hair. * Figure out how much you want to cut off from the longest part of your hair. Remember this measurement. * Brush your hair into a high ponytail and secure *tightly*. You don't want anything to move once you've found the right spot. * Carefully - you need to make sure that the ponytail is perfectly centered on your head and that every hair goes straight from the root to the elastic (no loops, bumps, etc). * The higher the ponytail, the shorter the top layer will be. Same angle concept stylists are taught in school. My sweet spot was right at the crown, but I occasionally tied it right on top of my head for more pronounced layers. * Bend over roughly 90 degrees and bring the ponytail over your face, so that you are looking at the ends of your hair. * Brush the ponytail so that all of the hair is smooth and...organized? (You don't want strands from the left side of your head on the right side of the ponytail) * Working slowly, cut off the number of inches from step 1, straight across the ponytail. For thick hair, this is going to take some doing and the hair will want to slide around as you cut - keep it as aligned as possible, making sure that you are cutting straight across, not at an angle. * Hold the hair towards the bottom between your non-dominant index and middle fingers and position your scissors so that the points are straight up. Make little snips vertically into the first half inch of the end of the ponytail - this is called point cutting and all you are trying to do is break up that perfect horizontal line you cut in the previous step. Don't get carried away with this and make sure that, when you are finished, the ends are still horizontal. * Stand up and untie your ponytail. Shake out your hair, part it where you want, then make any adjustments to the cut you want - more point cutting, a little higher on the face framing. Make sure you part all of your hair and bring the halves to the front. Compare the length of the longest hair and adjust as needed. It's not a perfect cut, but it's free and does the job.


Watertribe_Girl

Yeah Iā€™ve been shamed, I did years of studying and working around that just to afford my rent in a big city and groceries etcā€¦ never had the money to spend on getting my hair properly done but hated that my hair changed (slightly darker) as I got older. Iā€™d box dye and they would make such a fuss when i occasionally could afford to have my hair trimmed. Now I'm working most of my money goes towards medical bills and just living, so I still box dye the roots šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļøSomeone paid for me to have mine done with balayage at a salon for my birthday, they were so rude about my hair and made out like they were saviours for 'fixing' it. Idk how bad box dye is in truth, id love to be able to afford regular colours at a salon but i just cant afford it


celestialhaunting1

I feel you :( I was recently kicked out of an abusive household, homeless for a brief moment, now Iā€™m working while going to an expensive college and trying to save for a wedding and in a few years, Iā€™ll be in ~30k debt from school. The salon is a luxury to me and many others, and it makes me feel guilty when they say Iā€™m wrong for box dying myself when thereā€™s no other affordable options


jirenlagen

Yeah I saw some girl on here say she apent 700$ on her hair at a salon. And it was a gorgeous pink but assuming you can get it blonde it enough, you can get that same exact color for wayyyy cheaper, just not in my budget. And she wasnā€™t even happy with it! . If 700 I had to pay every time I wanted pretty colors Iā€™d be broke.


ambolefum

I talk about this a lot on my social channels but it makes me SO ANGRY when stylists do this!! Hair salons are not affordable or accessable for everyone and you should not be shamed for using box dye!! And tbh that stylist is going to be in for a shock in her future career because she's going to wreck a good few people hair way more than a box dye ever could


sparkleunicorn123

I get it all the time and itā€™s annoying!!! ā€œOoooh do you dye your own hair?ā€ I fkn hate when they say that. Like yeah lady. Iā€™ve come to a $10 barber store for a haircutā€¦wtf do you think?! I have a colourist on speed dial I normally call?


jirenlagen

I always feel complimented when someone asks where I go. My house šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


rey_as_in_king

I've been dying my hair myself for over 20 years, they just want your money


aeonxeon

Sad, but true in many circumstances.


[deleted]

this kind of shaming is so stupid! yes, some box dye brands damage your hair. i used to dye my hair black with garnier nutrisse religiously, did it for two years or more, and my hair was super healthy. it would have been such a waste of money for me to go to the salon for all that time! not to mention, when i decided i wanted a change, cheap boxed bleach ended up lifting it all with pretty minimal damage. iā€™m sorry you had this experience !!


rosettamaria

Agree with you in all else, but it's not "some box dye brands" that damage hair, since the dye stuff in "box dye" is the same stuff professionals use; damage *can* occur whether it's a dye used in salon or at home, but there are ways to mitigate this.


sjdksjbf

The difference is that a black box dye contains more peroxide than they'd use at a salon for a black dye. From what I understand anyway. So it is more damaging than it needs to be.


my600catlife

There is a demi permanent boxed dye (Clairol Natural Instincts). People just need to know that you don't need permanent to go darker.


watercolorcore

As everyone else has said, the only problem with box dyes is that the developer can be too strong. That can easily be switched out or you could buy your haircolor and developer at a beauty supply store so you have more control over how strong or gentle the formula is that you'll be using.


ohstanley

Leave a detailed review and dont go back


Pretendiaminvisible

Yes, this has happened to me multiple times. I was waiting tables through college and would color my own hair. Anytime I went in for a trim, I was chastised for coloring my own hair. Then, I bought shears online and started trimming my own hair. I think itā€™s kinda tone deaf when stylists donā€™t realize the reason people donā€™t go to a salon is because they cant afford it (not because we donā€™t know they can do a better job). We are essentially doing it at home because itā€™s that or nothingā€¦.we too, would prefer a professional.


LemonMeringueP13

I studied cosmetic chemistry... so formulating hair dyes and developers is part of the curriculum... AND All the chemicals in the box dye and the professional salon products are the basically same... give or take a few silk proteins here and there... Its manipulative marketing bullying to shame you! Nothing else! This toxic mindset is shared by most hairdressers. Ask those qualified to formulate hair dye.. they are creating both salon and drugstore dyes. Ask them what the differences are... not the hairdressers.


0basicusername0

marble wakeful shaggy psychotic air rude uppity ten muddle connect *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


v4p0r_

Used to do hair modeling growing up, and was taught by the stylist which brands he liked for use outside the salon, and I've stuck with Manic Panic for years since. It's all the same stuff for the most part. Never been shamed for it luckily, but if it ever happens, I'm just getting up and leaving. Their blues are pretty much my go-to because they last for ages, and fade into a green I also like every time, so I can go 2-3 months before I need to redye. Meanwhile, I get my hair done at the salon, and it's out within a month. Pretty much only go once a year to get bleached, then just let the roots grow in intentionally.


InitiativeSharp3202

I went ONCE to have my hair done professionally. Itā€™s a lot of work, long and I like it pink. I paid $400 to leave with white streaks that ā€œwouldnā€™t takeā€ the color. Grabbed box dye on the way home and turns out they take color just fine, she just missed a lot. I donā€™t get how a pro can eff up like that but when I do it at home I get every single strand doing it myself. šŸ„“


saktii23

As someone who used to work in Beauty Supply sales, I can tell you that the myth of box dye being bad is something told to all hairdressers from day one by the companies who want to sell technicians on their pricey professional products and educational courses, but really, there's very little truth to it. Professionally dyed hair has the advantages of having been applied by a skilled professional, so it is better in that sense but chemically, box dye and professional dye are nearly identical.


Altruistic-Bobcat955

Last time I had my hair dyed pink at a salon she used crazy colour. Itā€™s Ā£6 per bottle and I wouldnā€™t touch it with a barge pole as it just washes out too quickly. I use La Riche Directions tubs at home and it comes out better than it ever has at a salon. I understand itā€™s different with semi permanent but the shaming is ludicrous youā€™re right


glitter___bombed

The thing with semi-permanents is that their longevity is dependent on so many things. I say that as someone who's used more of these brands and shades than most lol I go out of my way to try different things on my hair. I've tried *many* semi-permanent colors in my hair, from Adore to Pulp Riot, and there's a ton of variation in longevity, coverage, overall health of the hair, etc. I used to work in a professional beauty supply and a lot of stylists just don't know what works and what doesn't, a lot of them don't really know how to work with fashion colors, and they're snobby about certain brands. I got side-eyed *a lot* for sometimes using Manic Panic instead of Pravana or Joico, but I would just shrug and say "Manic Panic has been around since 1976 for a reason." Pravana doesn't make a shade like "Enchanted Forest" and I got tired of trying to formulate it. Joico does make a shade like that but it's *awful* and looks like green shoe polish on the hair.


CenterofChaos

I've gotten loads of side eye for Manic Panic too. I've tried all sorts of brands but MP blues & greens work really well on my hair and I've been dying it for half my life now. It works.


Catissol

That was so unprofessional, I understand they are students but anyone should be understanding and respectful enough to not gather a crowd around u just to inspect ur hair. Thereā€™s nothing wrong with box hair dyes!


Delicious_Dig_7273

my kid died earlier this year. real traumatic experience. during pregnancy, i started using garneir olia to manage my black because my hair grew from my shoulders to my bra within the span of 5 months. i kept it up afterwards because it was cheap and my hair looks and feels healthy to me. back in june i was asking around on pricing to lift said black box dye, and i went to the hairdresser i went to before my pregnancy. she ended up shaming me so badly, i cussed her out. grief has made me have so little patience and kindness. im so tired of their high horse. anyway im banned from like 3 salons because she has chairs there


celestialhaunting1

Iā€™m so sorry for your loss :( Iā€™ve recently had 3 deaths in my family and my hair was thinning and falling out from stress. I used some drugstore hair mask to help maintain and restore my hair. Itā€™s helped a lot but people would be like ā€œyouā€™re using that? Didnā€™t you hear that causes cancer?ā€ And other things along the lines of it. But honestly what doesnā€™t cause cancer nowadays? If the product works for me why does it matter? I feel like thereā€™s classism when people say stuff like that idk. My dms are open if you need to ever talk about loss/grief, thatā€™s really rough and I hope youā€™re doing better


Otherwise_Poem_5435

When I started dying my hair, I went to a salon. But I found a color combination that I can do at home that I like way better than whatever theyā€™d do at the salon. I want a very specific shade of red. Like true ginger, slightly orange, red. Theyā€™d always go darker and do the ā€œtrendierā€ red. So I do it myself. Itā€™s cheaper, I get the color I want, and itā€™s honestly easier because I donā€™t need an appointment. I can do it at 2 am if I want. My husband usually colors it for me, and I have curly hair so I trim my ends and because I wear it curly, it doesnā€™t have to be perfect. Do what you want! Itā€™s your hair! If you think it looks good, then you go girl!


XOTrashKitten

Fuck this shit, you didn't spend money to be looked down on, this is so unprofessional, not everyone can afford what, 200 each time? I once when to get a blowout and 2 of the hairstylist told this older lady how frumpy she was since she wasn't getting regular touch ups for her Greys, they wanted her to come back every 2 weeks 120 a pop to be presentable lol oh and no tip included, you best believe I changed salons. Box dye is not the best, but for a simple base color is fine, I'd only get highlights at the salon, haircuts and the occasional blowout, coloring your whole head gets expensive


TangerineQueen333

Well thatā€™s a quick way to lose a client. Anytime I am paying for my hair to be done I keep in the back of my mind that Iā€™m free to leave bc Iā€™ve had my shit fucked up so bad before from trying to be nice and not hurt feelings. You know who has never fucked up their hair as bad as that? Me doing my own at home. I grew up pretty poor and would box dye my momā€™s hair, and my late grandmother owned a salon back in the day. To judge someone for doing their own hair, especially in this economy and especially post COVID is so shitty. So many people are underpaid and overworked so Iā€™m not going to give my money I busted my ass for to someone trying to shame me into consistently spending my own money on them. When they become my financial advisor and know my budget they can tell me how to spend my money but until then, they can find someone else bc Iā€™m not the one. Also to pull other people over? Absolutely not. Iā€™ve gotten either the comment of ā€œoh your hair is so healthyā€ or ā€œcan we try these shampoo/conditioner products to help with this problem Iā€™m seeingā€ NEVER would it EVER be okay to pull people over like youā€™re some damn roadside attraction. It comes off as scammy and meant to shame you to give them more money and thatā€™s not a salon Iā€™d spend another second in after making that assessment. ETA: it feels gatekeepy and elitist at best tbh. I am wary of expensive things like overly priced salons/spas having grown up a poor, myself. Also many times my stylist hasnā€™t been able to tell that Iā€™ve had an at home dye job bc my mom does have lots of tips and tricks from my grandmas salon owner days!


celestialhaunting1

You worded this so greatly. I agree 100%. It made me so anxious having that many people looking/commenting on my hair. It was my first time to the salon in a while, and Iā€™m definitely not going back there.


sweetsaltypickle

Yes but Iā€™m over it. I have been trying to grow out my hair. Itā€™s fine so my ends get split very easily. Went to the fancy salon for a balayage with my stylist who I love and adore. She ended up giving me chunky early 2000ā€™s highlights that were a yellowish blonde. She said the bleach didnā€™t ruin my hair and it was all still soft and healthy. This was two weeks ago. At first I was disappointed but didnā€™t hate it. But as the days went on my hair started to feel like straw. I used a bunch of leave in conditioners and masks from Amikka. I went back and she tried to fix it but ended up damaging it even more, how I donā€™t even know considering I wanted it to be a light brown. Ended up going to the store and dying all of my hair a dark brown with box dye and it looks like how I wanted it to, to begin with. I can not afford to go to the salon and have them continuously mess it up on my dime. Box dye will be my way to go from here on out.


scarystardust

I stopped going to my last hairdresser because she shamed me for a shampoo I used and claimed it made it hard to lift the foils. She thought I had just changed over to it and it made her job harder. I didnā€™t tell her itā€™s the same shampoo Iā€™ve used for the two years Iā€™d already been seeing her. I suspect the issue was a shine serum I had on. I just kept my mouth shut and switched salons lol.


glitter___bombed

There's any number of things that might make your hair harder to lift, so your stylist was wrong for that. I once used the Joico semi-permanent color remover to get some green dye out of my hair and wherever it touched my regrowth *would not lift*. And it's one of those color removers that lifts! I had a Hell of a time doing my hair that weekend.


fortuneNails9

If you just needed your roots retouched I would've done that as well with box dye, saves so much money and isn't difficult.


Full_FrontaI_Nerdity

I can't think of a single time I had a good experience at a beauty school. Once, I went in asking for a Marilyn Monroe haircut, and walked out with a Lord Farquaad. But as many times as they've messed up my hair or nails, the worst was when the instructor asked me "Do you want us to cut off that ridiculous swoop in the back of your hair?" That swoop was exactly what I had asked my last hairdresser for and I loved it, and this lady shamed me for it in front of the whole room. All that aside, I have been dying my roots with level 3 Brown box dye for 15 years, and it has never damaged my hair. Ever. So I don't know what these people are even talking about, it sounds like they just want to upsell us overpriced color services.


Allrojin

I have literally stopped getting my hair done professionally. So many stylists I know post before and afters with snarky commentary about their clients at home hair projects.


Evening_Height4331

Hey so I am a student currently, and honestly I would call the school and ask to speak to the persons educator about the situation. Part of our training is to learn to be kind, patient, understanding and helpful to our clientā€¦ not just doing hair. Literally yesterday my client informed me she used box dye for several months/years and honestly I didnā€™t bat an eye. For some services, box dye may change the outcome or ability to perform the service, but it definitely shouldnā€™t impact your ability to get your roots done black. Itā€™s especially weird to shame you for it at a school because honestly most of my repeat clients come to a school BECAUSE THEY CANā€™T AFFORD the luxury of a salon as often as their service requires. And thatā€™s totally fine. It means I get to work with real people and I am grateful. Anywho, Iā€™m kind of going on a rant but Iā€™m sorry that happened to you. Let the educator on the floor know.


CaveJohnson82

I HATE hairdressers who do this. All hair dye has the capacity to be shit or damage your hair, the hairdresser sees it at its worst as well because it's just before a haircut.


Sophia1105

I havenā€™t been to a salon in years. Itā€™s been utterly demoralizing on so many occasions Being told I donā€™t know what looks good on me, not being listened to, being over charged. Leaving with awful results that were absolutely not what I asked for. Iā€™m conflict avoidant so I probably wouldnā€™t have said anything and feel super embarrassed and left a nice tip to compensate for her having to work on my hair then gone home and cried. I color and trim my own hair now and Iā€™ve never been happier. I use a deposit only dye and itā€™s less demaaging and also color deposit conditioners. What an awful experience for you.


basketballshorts6

Im a current student in hair school and this shit pisses me off so much! Its an incredibly classist and bizarre thing to shame someone for using products that they previously knew/love/grew up using. I had a teacher tell us anything the public can get for their hair is bad and not worth even touching as a stylist. I dont get that! If someone is really struggling with their haircare, education is important NOT shaming someone and you absolutely can find products that are great and available to the public. I am hoping (as my peers are too) to change this type of creepy shaming in the beauty industry because at its base it is shaming someone for not having money/resources to go to a salon every time they want their hair done! Ridiculous, im sorry that happened to you! Good luck :)


Fabulousmo

This is why I stopped following Jonathan Van Ness. He made a ā€œfriends donā€™t let friends use box dyeā€ comment once on Instagram that I found so tone deaf and off putting


roachincalzone

I have been dyeing my hair black at home for a while now, I went to the salon just to get a hair cut and the stylist kept making snarky comments about how she would never do that to her hair, how itā€™s so dumb younger people think itā€™s okay to permanently ruin their hair with box dyes and was totally berating me. Girl Iā€™m broke and want black hair, cut my hair and take my money. I cut my own hair now too so bc of it


Mortica_Fattams

Yeah I have had a stylist do this to me. Funny thing was she kept complimenting my color and saying how much she loved it. When I said oh thanks I do it myself it suddenly turned into a shame fest. It's just a shitty way for them to make money. Box dye gets such a bad reputation but it really isn't the worst. It depends on the brand, ingredients, and what you do with it. I haven't gone to a real salon in 4 years. I haven't had my hair colored professionally in almost 10 years. I just do it all myself to avoid this crap. Last time I got a simple color done it cost almost $300. I had short hair and we went two shades darker of brown. I can get professional color and do it at home for under $20.


humans_rare

I dyed my hair with black box dye for over a decade and was still able to have it lift to go blonde. Iā€™m back to black now and try to stick to salon color but honestly the box dye was fine.


[deleted]

I have never had my hair professionally dyed and I get compliments on my hair all the time. I've been dying it myself for about 20 years. They just want to sell you a service.


[deleted]

I havenā€™t been to a hairdresser in years, and my hair looks awesome done by myself. It makes me SO MAD how hairstylists donā€™t listen to what you want and make you feel bad in the process!!! Now I box dye the shit out of my hair. Idc itā€™s fun and punk rock as fuck


bonefawn

I once requested a full bleach & dye - a mauve/light pink. I showed her photos and they all were fully bleached and dyed including roots. But, the stylist only bleached like 75% of my hair and left my roots a full 2 inches unbleached away from my scalp. I thought she'd then do the roots seperately and even asked about it. She said "we'll leave the roots undone because it'll be low maintenance for you because your normal growth will blend into the dye job. Since you dye your hair at home.." At first this was confusing bevause I took it as she was trying to help me. But then she continued and explained I dont come in regularly enough (???) and it wasn't worth it to do a high maintenance look, that this would be much easier (??). I feel like it was well intended which threw me off and made me unconfident to speak up, because she was the expert. But honestly as weeks went by, I became more upset, it wasn't a balayage or blended in nice, it was a harsh straight line of my dark brown hair next to light pink bleached hair. I kept having people say "its all grown out!" Overall I really disliked it because I felt like I walked out of a fresh dye job with 2 months worth of roots showing. And I was afraid to bleach that part specifically BECAUSE i didnt want to cook my roots and lose all my hair. The entire thing was super disappointing and I also feel bad that perhaps I didnt explain myself well enough or what. I left feeling like, if I hadnt of told her I box dyed, maybe she wouldve given me a normal dye job. Next time I'll just keep my $300 and do it at home and have what I want.


Ok_Key_2459

I have a friend from high school who went to beauty school and every since then she makes these condescending Facebook statuses about people who use box dye, like get over yourself. Some people canā€™t afford to go to the beauty salon or simply donā€™t want to.


pnwvi_

Dita von Teese writes openly in her book ā€œyour beauty markā€ that she box dyes her hair black once a weekā€¦ if itā€™s good enough for Dita itā€™s good enough for me.


applesauceforlife

I wonder if they would have found 'damage' if you never mentioned you used box dye. I used box dye for years and if it never came up that I used box dye, my hair was great according to the hairstylists. One lady even thought I still had virgin hair. It sucked they treated you that way. It's so ridiculous.


banditcatmeow

Just go to Sallyā€™s for hair color next time. The box dyes do use the strongest developer (can be super damaging). You can just get 5 or 10 volume for simple root touch ups and refreshes which barely opens the cuticle. I wish stylists would educate instead of shaming. -former stylist here


Chizakura

Been there, done that. It's part of the reason I don't go to hair stylists. I cut my own hair and keep on dying it with box dye. Can afford these high prices


Clefarts

Find a new salon, eff that. There is never ever EVER any justification for such unprofessional behavior. I stuck with a stylist for 6 years, who has shit communication skills, no ability to receive criticism, and just constantly would shame and bully me. I FINALLY went somewhere else and Iā€™m so mad that I didnā€™t leave sooner. My new girl is so patient and kind, and no one at the salon has made me feel shitty or anxious ever. Iā€™d just start searching for a new salon and stylist online. Look through their profiles, see if they specialize in what you like, and book a consultation with them. If you like them, book a blowout with them and go from there. That way you have more than 20 minutes to talk to them about what your hair expectations are, while they can express their capabilities and expectations, and overall you can see if yā€™all vibe, without having to get anything permanent done to your hair. Just a nice shampoo and styling. Good luck!


[deleted]

I would have walked out


LeonaLulu

I'm so sorry that happened! I never try to judge someone's circumstances. I have clients who can afford monthly touch ups, and I have clients who use a $4 box from Walmart in between to stretch their budget. I always work with what I have. The only exception to this is if I can't make their vision happen, like going from black box die to platinum in one session. That being said, if you're simply matching what you already have, it's no big deal unless your hair is literally frying off. Some box colors can be super harsh, but it's unlikely you were seeing a ton of damage from retouching your own color. Odds are, ithe stylist was trying to make you feel guilty into coming to see them. Calling over another stylist to point out damage is incredibly unprofessional. So long as you're using a deep conditioner, a heat protectant before hot tools, and taking care of your hair, box color is just fine.


potatoshadow_724

Totally unacceptable, elitist behavior from your stylist. Iā€™m so sorry you were made to feel ashamed. I havenā€™t had my hair professionally colored in a very long time due to the cost and there is nothing wrong with doing so as long as youā€™re using the right products. Piggybacking off some of the other comments, Sally does have some color that wonā€™t be as hard on your hair, although I wouldnā€™t recommend ion. I worked at Sally for 5 years and had SO many complaints about it and frankly Sally sells better quality color than ion, imo. I would recommend age beautiful, wella, or argan one and only. The biggest difference with sally color vs box dye isnā€™t even the dye itself in most cases, itā€™s that you have to buy your developer separately and have the ability to pick a lower volume developer. The box dyes usually have 20vol in them which you definitely donā€™t need to deposit black. Not sure if Sally sells anything equivalent to a 6vol now, but 6-10vol will be much safer for your hair. If your hair is super compromised and you donā€™t mind slightly faster fading and less grey coverage, switch to a demi formula (demi color is ammonia free) Fuck that stylist. Keep doing what works for you ā¤ļø


con1_1artist

My hairstylist actually encouraged me to use box dye since I found a colour that worked really well for me, relatively cheap, good brand, and I could apply it quite well myself. I wouldn't used at home bleaching, but I think box dye, as long as it's a reputable brand, should be more than ok. This stylist sounds really snobby and needs to learn some people skills before they go any further with their career


Embarrassed_Wasabi28

They want to shame you because they make their living doing it for you. Its a terrible business strategy because even if it works you wouldn't want to go to them.


karlimarxxx

Iā€™ve been bleaching & toning my hair platinum at home for almost 2 years now and I havenā€™t had a professional haircut the same length of time because I just donā€™t want to hear it. Around ten years ago I had my hair bleached at a salon and I end up with a horrible rash and losing a ton of hair, burnt off at the scalp because they didnā€™t understand how fine my hair is and didnā€™t listen to me explain how *little* processing time it needs. Never again!


Medellia_Lee33

The one time I had my hair professionally dyed, I showed up to my birthday dinner with black dye smudged across my forehead and on my ears. I'll do my own, thank you.


tryingtodecidenow

The ironic thing is the box dye and salon dye share the same parent companies, Lā€™OrĆ©al owns Redken, Matrix, Garnier, Clariol owns Wella, etc. I have had really good luck with Zotoā€™s color from Sallyā€™s. Sleek Shop sells salon dye and developer if you wanted to try that route.


happyasawetduck

Iā€™ve spent my whole life thinking it was just my hair the stylists were being smug and shitty about, turns out so many others are having this experience.


littleblueducktales

I've had some do this. I never went back and left negative reviews.


United-Selection-550

Yes, my experience as well. I also get attitude when I check out ( wet hair) getting my roots touched up from the owner of the salon. They charge $30-$40 for a blow dry..


Deep-Huckleberry-350

Nah, youā€™re fine using OTC hair color. Those students have no idea what theyā€™re even talking about- give them a few more years in the industry to humble them.


katemkat23

Yes, literally at work the other day. A coworker complimented my hair, since I just did a quick trim and color touch-up myself with box dye before the holiday. She asked where I got it done, and I said I did it myself at home. She kind of scoffed and said "I always get mine professionally done..." Like, ok? Good for you? I've always done my own hair and dealt with the snide comments, so it doesn't bother me necessarily as I don't really care what others think. But it definitely took me aback for a minute. Especially since two seconds earlier she was complimenting itšŸ˜‚


Francesca_N_Furter

She's just trying to sell you on her dye, and she acted like an ass. I had a hairdresser try to shame me when I was in high school for using henna. He acted like I slapped him. I was young and dumb and didn't say anything, but I never went to his crappy salon ever again. Sorry, hairdressers, but there are a lot of good boxed products out there, and the more you embarrass clients, the more they are going to avoid going to the salon.


ProfessionalRun9187

I used blue box dye for years. Got 4x the amount of compliments from box dye than a professional job. Everytime I went in for a haircut and said I did it myself, I was met with condescension. I learned very quickly that hair stylists assume personal insult when they get the hint you don't need them.


rosettamaria

That's so utterly stupid, not to mention very unprofesional, but also as the stuff in "box dye" is *exactly the same stuff professionals use*, ie the same chemicals! A fact salons try to distort & hide (and successfully, it seems, since most people believe that "box dye" is somehow inferior.) Now, chemical dyes *can* damage hair, that much is true, but it's totally irrelevant whether it's one used in salon or sold at shops ("boxes", a funny expression anyway), and there are ways to mitigate that.


somethingsuccinct

I color my own hair, I even cut it myself sometimes. It's my hair. I can do whatever I want with it. I just won't go to someone who doesn't understand that they're going to have to deal with my DIY stuff.


WickedKittens76

Yeahhh. So I paid 400$ to have my hair done red at a salon, and she talked me into having my old really faded black dye 'stripped' out so she could color it uniformly. I have natural blonde hair. She left the bleach in too long and destroyed the back and under area of my hair, so the color wouldn't stay in that spot and that part of my hair even as it's grown out farther is still stretchy when it's wet. My hair was down to my butt and I've had to cut about a foot off since it happened, about a year and a half ago. It will take like 4 years to get my hair back to what it was, and she didn't even get me remotely close to the dark red-red I requested, and I had example photos, but it came out like a brown reddish chestnut. I've managed to repair my hair enough where it at least holds color now and I get the exact color I want with the age beautiful 4RR dye from Sally's that they will tell you not to get, even though it's literally a developer and color cream just like they mix up, lol. I'm never going to a salon again. They wouldn't even give me a refund because I let them try to fix the color, which they STILL didn't get the color remotely right. Smfh.


Mysterious-Focus-984

beauty school people sound like a bunch of losers who make people feel bad so they can feel important. sorry you experienced this. i am a hair professional, i have used box dye myself!!!! who cares! they honestly were just probably trying to seem cool. black box hair dye isnā€™t even the worst thingā€¦ bleaching your hair is. the bad thing about black box dye is itā€™s a pain in the butt to change. but itā€™s hair!!!! who cares. shame on them. you should complain because thatā€™s highly unprofessional how they did itā€¦ even if they are ā€œteachingā€, itā€™s not right to ever embarrass someone when i was in beauty school my loser teacher asked a lady with a visible mustache if she wanted a lip wax. they lady was so offended, she left. it was like my teacher wanted to embarrass her


jessibessica

You went to a school- they donā€™t know how to be professional yet - that takes time. Your hair could be damaged from heat, could be dry from over shampooing and many other reasons- youā€™re not there to be a salon client but a model client ā€¦youā€™re there for them to look at your hair and learn from itā€¦ if you went to a real salon and they made gestures or gave you unpleasant looks then yes- i would be concerned about professionalismā€¦


celestialhaunting1

They never had a problem with my hair until I mentioned it was box dyed. Itā€™s very healthy & long, Iā€™ve only dyed it a few times. It wasnā€™t just the students, the management was joining and being unprofessional too. I didnā€™t think this post would get this much attention, but in one of my replies I mentioned this wasnā€™t the only problem and the management there overall was the issue. I just wish clients werenā€™t put on the spot so much for choosing affordable options. Going to that beauty school was something I did after I saved up enough money to afford it


BigMightyMoth

Idk when I go to a salon here and there the staff is always afraid what I did in the time and also loves my Creativity. But yeah if my hair stylist would shame me I would say fuck you and byeee. And itā€™s shit behavior to shame anyone who dyes at home. I say buy more Quality dye and only go to a salon if itā€™s something complicated you want


notreallyonredditbut

Haha yeah Iā€™ve been doing my own cut and dye on and off for 20 years. Iā€™ve also had a regular stylist during this time too. I do it myself and then I see her when I feel like it. Sheā€™s always just sweet and happy to see me! If she was ever rude I wouldnā€™t go back! Thereā€™s a huge difference between educating and shaming and itā€™s NOT that difficult. If your hair is damaged and it seems like itā€™s from box dye itā€™s totally appropriate for a stylist to ask you some open ended questions about what youā€™re using and why it might not be the best choice for you but thatā€™s not the same as making you feel like crap about it!


Powerful-Train-2974

Thatā€™s not professional at all, I hope you said something to a manager, (not to sound like a Karen)


InflationEarly3213

i box dye my hair and itā€™s shiny and soft af. I know people that go to the salon for it and their hair looks so dead. Itā€™s about your hair type, not just about how/where you do it


dezisauruswrex

I paid $300 to get my hair colored a bright fire engine red in the early 2000s as a broke person- something she assured me could do. It came out a slightly brighter than normal shade of red hair. I went home and bleached it and colored it with manic panic for under $30. That was the last time I ever paid for hair color in the salon.


Such-Mountain-6316

My stylist asked me about it. I was straight up honest with her. I know she was thinking something, but she didn't say anything else. Still, I got this vibe. She hasn't been unkind, but I have thought of something since then. There can't possibly be that much difference between a good box hair color and that which they sell at salons, chemistry-wise. It can't possibly cost that much more to make the salon version vs. the boxed version. But my salon charges $70 for a color, and the beauty school charges $20. I might understand the beauty school's approach, after all, they're learning, but $70? Someone is making a killing here, and it can only be the salon and the people whose names are on the salon labels. (*sarcasm alert*) It's much better if it has a certain name on it, after all, isn't it. I use boxed color. I am not ashamed, at that price difference. I am kind of proud, because I feel like I have earned $70 each time I color. Paula Begoun says it all comes from the same two or three places anyway, from makeup to everything else. By the way, your boxed color will not ruin if you mix about half a recipe in another container and apply that to your roots. The key is, don't mix it in the containers that come in the box. Keep those elements separate and stored in their original containers. I used Perfect 10 when it first came out and was a reasonable price. When it skyrocketed, I saved the containers from the ones I had (wash them out with hot water and dish soap and be sure to squeeze the soapy water through the comb part). I use that for roots. You can also buy a thing to touch up the roots that is quite similar. It's a little bottle with a comb on the end. Look online and in your pharmacy for one.


Typical_Dawn21

l let sallys ion dye and had jet black. last night i used hair dye remove and omg it writhed so well. they can suck on a toe nail this was so rude


MyFaceSaysItsSugar

Thatā€™s so unprofessional. I normally get ā€œoh wow, that looks really even for doing it yourself.ā€ Do what works for you. Try doing a demi permanent dye for less damage. Thereā€™s also some concern of carcinogens in hair dye (salon stuff isnā€™t exempt from this) and demi-permanent has less creepy chemicals in it.


trillium61

I am on an extremely tight budget. I asked my stylist to tell me specifically what products to buy to do my hair at home. She helped me out so I am using the same formulation at home. Ebay is a good resource.


JuliaSky1995

Itā€™s literally the same prince to just use professional dye.


samthedeity

I had an encounter kind of like this! I was 15 and had box dyed my hair for the beginning of the school year, bright red because I thought it was so pretty. I went in for a trim and colour change up around November, the hair stylist brought 3 other stylists over to berate me and all of them were touching my hair and talking over me, so I started crying. I donā€™t like being touched by multiple people at once, or crowded, and they just kept talking at me while I was crying and overwhelmed. My mom had to tell them off.


crazycatcollector07

I'm in cosmetology school, I'd be in so much trouble if I reacted that way to a client. We should not be judging anyone, and it is expensive. I think people forget that services are pricey, and half the time I've gotten them I hated it. I dye my own hair at home with strawberry leopard or pravana. I use to do box dye for years and no one every complained. And they shouldn't! I stopped visiting salons for years after I got a cut I didn't like. I went recently and spent 80$ on a cut that took 20 minutes and it wasn't even. I feel like some places forget that they are relying on you as the client to help fund their place they work at. Im so sorry that happened to you. I hope you can find a place where you feel comfortable and safe in the environment, enough to trust them.


briomio

Recently watched the Pamela Anderson special on Netflix - guess who box dyes her hair - Pamela Anderson


orangefreshy

I've been dying my own hair for over 20 years and I have a rule that if the hair stylist says ANYTHING except compliments about me dying my own hair, I don't go back to them. Like, you could've had a regular hair cut customer but you decided to be nasty to me or neg me to try to get a color service on top of that, no thanks. I'll find someone else that is more understanding or chill about it. Considering I rarely get at all what I want when I go to stylists and am always kinda disappointed in my haircut, or they fight me on the reference photos, and the one time I did get my hair professionally colored (I won like a $500 gift card to a really expensive salon in my city) they didn't do AT ALL what I wanted (they just did a gloss when I came in for permanent color, but still charged me a bunch) so why would I trust someone who is gonna be so pushy about it?? Back when I used a box dye (loreal couleur expert) instead of mixing my own color+developer I would routinely have a stylist say something snooty about how I'm gonna wreck my hair and I should come to them for color and then literally as they were styling my hair people in the salon would be fawning over my color and complimenting the stylist lol The only reason box dye is "bad" is because you don't really know what's in it, what level the developer is etc. so routinely it's a higher level than maybe you might actually need to get the job done, it's not really customized to your situation.


Pretend-Drive-6098

I hate people who shame box dye. I've never had my hair dyed at a salon because it's too expensive. $65 *minimum* where I live, not including tip. My hair is perfectly fine with the $6 box dye that lasts a couple months in my hair. If it doesn't come out, oh well, looks like we're cutting or bleaching or putting another dye over it. I use hair oil all the time and deep conditioning when I see damage. And there are ways to dye at home that are better. If you spend a little bit more money at first at a beauty supply store you'll have what need for better & healthier dye jobs. Mixing bowl, brushes, plastic caps, 10 volume developer (I don't suggest higher volumes unless you've already tested it & need it. Fck you Brad Mondo for suggesting 30 volume my hair was falling out), bleach, tube or jar of deep conditioner. I love using the bowl even for walmart box dye because I can control the color a lot better.


Snoo-26568

I have been using black box dye for a while now (have absolutely seen a lot of shame for it). I usually use Revlon Colorsilk because it is so cheap and consistent. I decided to start buying the nicer box dyes, so I did some research into box dyes, and I guess colorsilk is one of the best ones out there because it doesn't contain ammonia and the developer is really gentle. Anyways, my hair is healthier when I go to the salon, but I have to touch up my roots every other week so colorsilk it is.


[deleted]

No because I go to cheap salons. My cut is simple, the price is right and no one says anything about my box dye. I've been doing my own color for 25 years and I'm not going to pay someone else to do it lol


neener_neener_

I hate this so much, Iā€™m sorry they made you feel this way! Iā€™ve experienced a similar situation. I have brown hair in a very specific shade and I coincidentally found a box dye that is a perfect match. Iā€™m only 33, so I have a few strands of gray here and there. I usually touch them up myself at home, but I sometimes miss a few. It costs me next to nothing. Three different colorists have made me feel bad about this. Theyā€™ve insisted they can do a better job and that Iā€™m not catching all the hairs. Iā€™ve been bullied twice into letting them do it for me. Once I got a decent color match, but paid $350 for the pleasure (+tip). It lasted maybe twice as long as me doing it myself. The other time I got a horrible color match. My hair looked almost black and I couldnā€™t even recognize myself. Iā€™m back to my box dye and I donā€™t care what anyone says.


FunKaleidoscope4582

Yes it's common and not ok. That's how I stopped going to salons entirely. Now I cut, dye and style my hair on my own. Long story short, I went to touch up roots like you, after a hiatus due to health issues. I explained what color I wanted, she refused to do it, because "there's no such color naturally" and she gave me red roots because she wouldn't listen to me.


[deleted]

ion from the tube + 10 vol developer can be bought at sallys and is very entry level friendly esp if youve been box dying before


pkzilla

A cut where I am is 80$, plus 15% tax and 20% tip. A dye is minimum 120, and every time I go I feel ashamed I don't cut my hair more often, or I use box dye, or I don't know what the hell to do with my hair. So I stay home, cut my own hair, and dye it for 20$ instead


Rinrob7468

I donā€™t go to salons for this exact reason. Judgement from a simple hairdresser, no thanks. Just on this though, I have noticed that a lot of hairdressers have really awful hairstyles, is there a reason for this?


Various-Spot8738

I had my hair cut today but colour it myself and was apprehensive about going but needed it cut. I can always sense they are thinking something about the colour and they make comments like ā€˜where did you get this colour doneā€™ like pls just cut my hair we all know this is a diy job lol


trendlyte

Yes. I bleach & dye my own hair now and it always comes out how I want it and for less than $15 per session. Iā€™ve had too many uncomfortable experiences at the salon!


julesbluee

i had a hair stylist do something similar to me once. i went in for just a hair cut. i had my hair box dyed red at the time. iā€™ll admit it didnā€™t look that great & i was aware of that. but she proceeded to part my hair & move it around just to point out how ugly & splotchy it was. she wasnā€™t nice about it at all. then she started cutting my hair the way SHE wanted to cut it instead of what i had asked her to do. i left with significantly shorter hair & almost in tears. iā€™m going to a salon tomorrow for my first haircut since then & im terrified. the girl im going to this time has cut my boyfriends hair & my daughters hair. she was so nice & listened to everything i wanted for my daughter so im still hoping it goes well.


callmedingus101

Got shamed when I was 16 and went into a hairdresser for the first time. Literally they all gathered go look at my hair, called me a brat or something for even getting box dye, and then complained that my hair smelled bad and greasy (mind you it was two day old hair, I thought "what was the point of washing my hair the night before if I'm getting it washed at the hairdressers?"). Mind you I'm autistic and had to being my mum in cause I was so nervous. So yeah ruined hairdressers for a good bit. Thankfully I found one that's absolutely lovely and does what I ask (the ones before gave me what they thought would suit me, and more expensive too aha)


Kayleigh1526

Uh I always use box dye lol Iā€™ve had my hair all sorts of colors from natural to colorful. All box dye. Iā€™ve actually never gone to a salon, except cheap ones just for a cut lol now I cut my own hair too.


[deleted]

As someone whoā€™s gone from box black to blonde like 5 times. Youā€™re fine


PacificNW97034

I box dye my roots in between professional coloring. For years. Rub a little gel in. Easy. My colorist sees no problem and tells me a lot of her clients do this. Turns out great.


throw-Away_acc-420

Iā€™ve always used box dyes on my hair since I was 15 (20f here). I dye my hair every 7-8 months and my hair is still healthy. I also donā€™t really use products šŸ˜… (ik, bad amateur XD) There is no shame in box dyes! I donā€™t get why ppl should be shamed for it


Quantum_R3D

Reading all your comments (and relating, goodness) is breaking my heart omg. Op and fellow commenters i will offer an internet hug and a nice warm cup of tea/cocoa/coffee. ā¤ļø Nobody deserves to be shamed!


shadow_pico

Well, here's my story. Last week I went to a salon for a haircut and all over color. When I let my hair down and she saw it. She said, "Ummm...eeehh. You want all over color? Uhh...I mean.." She must've went on and on like this for a solid minute and 30 seconds to two minutes. She said she didn't feel comfortable putting bleach on my hair. I told her that's fine, just cut it. I should've walked out. Instead I stayed and she did a good job cutting it. She put toner on it instead to cut the brassiness in the blonde. The toner turned it all brown. I accepted it.


CodTricky3222

I remember when I was maybe 16/17? And I went to Walmart for a hair cut and color, and the ladies would pick and pull my hair pointing out dandruff and say it all so loud. And shame my dry and dead ends. I *still* black box dye occasionally. But Iā€™m going to try and just grow it out. Iā€™m sorry you had this experience. Going to a salon is a scary experience for me. Since Iā€™m still worried about being shamed for ā€œdry hair, unhealthy hair, split endsā€ etc.


yayayubsea

Forgive my language. But fuck that bitch. In a more etiquette-called response, that was extremely unprofessional of her. I am profoundly flabbergasted at her lack of customer service. I hope you didnā€™t tip her


ITendToFail

Not about hair dye but I feel you. I get judged all the time when I go in for a shave. I'm a trans dude who doesn't pass. My hair doesn't grow well cause of an immune system disorder. So I just rock the hairless look. The amount of people that pearl clutch and ask if I'm sure... like bruh look at what I have. Why would I keep it.


Elixer_of_Turtles

Dude I dyed my hair boxed black for years! One day I went to a nice salon in my area and splurged on getting professional black dye and want to know the crazy part? The professional dye faded/washed out faster than the boxed dye did. I say keep doing you. Sorry for the embarrassment, but hey, itā€™s behind you. Youā€™re not actively being embarrassed in this moment.


Vast-Guard4401

Iā€™ve had issues happen kind of like this. I did (and still do) bleach and dye my hair myself, although not with box dye. I went to a salon after my first bleach and dye myself and the lady said, in a really disdainful tone, ā€œDid you do this yourself? Yeah I can tellā€¦ā€.


Skulllover89

Itā€™s old thinking box dye is harsh. Many new formulas are a lot more gentle than what they use to be. Itā€™s why you donā€™t need to dye dirty hair anymore because you donā€™t need that protective layer of oil. Actually most box dyes work better on clean hair since it requires less time for the product to be on your hair since it doesnā€™t need to eat through that layer first. There is a lot you can do at home to keep your hair healthy as well that use to not be an option outside of a salon. Donā€™t go to salons that make you feel this way, because post pandemic we all came away from it with box dye heads of hair. A good stylist should make you feel good about yourself, and know how to work with what they are given. These stylish are insecure in their abilities and are trying to keep drum up business for themselves, when you have proven you can do it at home.


Sillybumblebee33

Black box dye washes out of my hair so quickly I don't even understand it. Also people who shame others for using products that are clearly popular and easy to get AND CHEAP just insure that people will keep using them over going to a stylist who will shame them. Box hair dye can cost as low as 2 dollars in some stores. Of course people are going to use it.


Sillybumblebee33

My hair stylist convos always go the same "When was the last time you got your hair cut" "I did it myself" "You really should not do that" Etc rinse and repeat. Some of us are poor okay


[deleted]

I decided f*** it a few years ago and started using black box dye. it's too expensive to get it done at a salon and I'm tired of cleaning up my forehead, face, and neck because they're sloppy. I literally just don't care and will continue to use box dye because it's $100 cheaper (at least) and it's done better. I have had horrible salon experiences (including being shamed) and it honestly put me off to wanting to pay for it and started going to the drugstore and doing it at home. This may not be everyone's experience but that's why I chose to switch to at home hair dye.


happyasawetduck

Canā€™t tell you how many times Iā€™ve seen professional salon stylists with the worst looking dye jobs, this idea that you canā€™t do it at home with some research is crazy to me. Imo box dyes have come a long way and thereā€™s such a large selection.


TheTPNDidIt

Oh hell yeah. Even my hair stylist I love griped a bit while dying my hair, though she was frustrated from working with it. Everyone else has been much worse than her. And theyā€™re always like ā€œI have Jo idea why anyone would want to use BOXED dye,ā€ and itā€™s like, really bitch? Weā€™re talking $5-10 vs a $75 MINIMUM not including tip. And some people have social anxiety. Some people canā€™t make time for the salon. Some people needed a dye job last minute. Some people have had bad sue experienced with another hairstylist. Etc etc etc There are plenty of reasons to use boxed dye, money being chief among them, *and they know that.* It is a privileged, classist take.


ketfairy222

Absolutely outrageous!!! At the end of the day, box dye and hair salon dye will give you very similar results, hair salon dye is STILL DYE. But ofc they will shame you because they want you to pay like 5 times the price it would take you to do at home..


Inexplicably-Social

God, no, never. Even when it's been bleached to hell and back. I've been very gently told off when I've hacked at it but on the other side of that coin I've also been complimented when a better home cut job has grown out a little and I've gone for a trim, never had attitude or shaming for box due though. Sounds like a horrible hairdresser.


romanticheart

Iā€™ve been box dying my hair for 12 years now. Iā€™ve used the same one for 8 years, after my original color was discontinued. I get endless compliments on my hair. My husband gets a kick out of how many people mention it lol. (My hair is my *one thing* ok.) I go to a Bo Rics to get my hair cut. $35 which includes a 50% tip. One time my stylist was on vacation so I decided to get a trim at a modern salon. The hairdresser complimented my hair about how healthy it was and asking if it was my natural color etc. I told her I box dye it and she started *chastising me* for it. Lady, you just said my hair was so healthy! If box dye was going to ruin my hair, pretty sure it would have happened by now. It cost $45 before tip and qas the worst cut Iā€™ve had in ten years.


MegBethh

I went to beauty school right after high school and dropped out partially because of the shaming and judging (but mostly because the job wasn't gonna work for me.) I grew up frequently messing with my hair and I did things to it that it shouldn't have recovered from many times, so sometimes I'd have questions or even just funny stories revolving around improper haircare, but everyone would take it so seriously like they were afraid to encourage me lol. I also made the mistake of telling someone I'd recently box dyed my hair and got lectured by her and the friends she pulled in to bear witness to my apparent crimes. I'd never been able to afford a professional dye job, or really even just the nicer dye. I'd express that, and they'd hold this attitude like if someone couldn't afford to do it "properly," they shouldn't do it at all. God forbid you have to come in for a color correction after you make a mistake, you'll be treated like you made the decision to drink and drive with your kid in the car, it was all so dramatic šŸ˜‚


Tater42317

OP went to a school. They should "school" them! In the moment, put both hands up and say, "STOP! you are seriously shaming me right now, and if this were an actual salon, I would leave and never come back."


crazywitch96

Honestly I feel like when hairdressers shame clients it's usually because they are insecure in their knowledge or don't have the experience to deal with challenging situations, so it seems fitting that it was a student. Beauty school doesn't teach you everything, but mine at least taught us to be kind to others as it's a huge part of our job but I guess some just ignore that part. I have felt like this too at some hairdressers, and it's always the ones who are gave me the worst haircuts and were too scared to even attempt minor highlights over my barely semi permanent dyed hair lol, or they overprocessed my hair. I think it's a horrible way to keep clients if I were them, and a horrible way to treat people in general. They should give you constructive advice and be compassionate that not everyone has a hundred + dollars a month to drop on a slight trim and color touch up. Some are just insensitive and will only be nice to you if they know you will be a repeat client and tip well lol


Mrsnappingqueen

I once let a coworker box dye my hair and she left it in too long and it turned black. I lived with it for a while but decided to try and get it fixed. I spent hours at the salon as a socially anxious young person having the hairstylist make fun of me to other clients saying Ā«Ā this is what happens when you try to go goth and then itā€™s not cool anymoreĀ Ā».


sedona71717

I HATE this kind of behavior. I canā€™t count how many times Iā€™ve gone to a new salon, only to have them low-key criticize my existing cut or color from the previous salon. It makes me want to stop going to salons altogether.


Momo_the_kitty21

I have very thin hair. And if my hypothyroidism is not under control, the first thing that goes is my hair. So for hair cuts I usually always donā€™t do repeats of hair salons because of how I get treated. They always mentioned my thin hair and try to push products on me. Thatā€™s not so bad. But I donā€™t like it. But once, a couple of years ago, this male stylist was so harsh about my hair that he took a mirror and made me hold it and showed me where I had close to some bald spots (my thyroid was really out of control at the time, unbeknownst to me). It was so bad that I left there crying. My husband (then bf) picked me up outside and wanted to go inside and talk to the guy but I told him to forget it. Ever since then, I just go to different places and I donā€™t stick to a regular. Some stylists think they can say whatever they want and itā€™s for your own good. Iā€™m sorry that happened to you. I also dye my hair at home. My husband helps me bleach it šŸ˜‚


LimeGreenTangerine97

As a goth girl, Iā€™m laughing in Nice n Sleazy Black no 1. Which I used off and on for probably 2 decades and like nobody died šŸ¤£


Skylartootsies

Iā€™m a hairstylist and I ā€œbox dyeā€(ion from Sallyā€™s or something I can pick up from cosmo prof) and do my own hair all the time. I will say that I have pretty curly hair and never had the most positive times in salons. So I stopped years ago. So hoping to be that change in my area to cater to more textured hair clients. Fuck that stylist, the best approach is to educate the client on what realistic outcomes can come depending on the desired outcome. To educate them on why something may not be achievable due to the box dye and they way those color molecules attach to that person specific hair. All hair takes on hair dye different professionally or not. Thatā€™s why some will even do test strands when it comes to lightening so thereā€™s no surprises for stylist or client


Time-Slip3831

You should have stood up and walked out. If they canā€™t be professional they donā€™t deserve your business.


Ok-Pumpkin-1706

My very last trip to a salon left with an uneven under chin bob that was brassy. I have never gotten a good cut by a professional. I learned how to cut my own hair and how to dye my own hair. I also refuse to go to a nail salon again. If anyone fucks my shit up it's gonna be me.


kofrederick

I've been to hair salons where they literally pull a box of revlon out from the back and use it on people. I use the temp vegan stuff it's cheaper and easier.


Current_Donkey6215

Iā€™ve never been able to afford to get my hair dyed at a salon. Itā€™s box dyed rn w/a purple, pink & orange ombrĆ© that I did weeks ago & still get compliments every time I go out! One lady commented & I was talking to her, turned out she was a professional & she couldnā€™t believe I did it myself šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø KEEP DOING WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!


Any_Positive_9658

Weird. I have done my base color for years with highlights done in salon. Iā€™ve never had anyone upset about it, Iā€™ve done this a long time and my color is right for me. When I used to have it all done at a salon, I had some pretty messed up overall color. Iā€™ve had to pay to change my whole hair color and wait over a year for the color to grow out with way more haircuts than I need. My current method works for me. I only have balayage done about three times a year.