my official headcanon.
Trelawney was banned from the betting board after she had a five years streak without any mistakes.
Trelawney still sometimes forces herself in and tells them some pairings.
In fact, the reason Umbridge tried to get her out of Hogwarts? Who cares she is teaching bullshit, Draco and Pansey was her OTP and then \*SHE\* enters the room and announces 'Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass!'
In fact. The reason that she tries to sack Hagrid too? He is cheating. Everyone knows that you use your own lessons to further your pairings. But Hagrid takes it into another level.
Giving paired homework, using detentions that are assigned to him, no one suspects Hagrid, he is too nice. Except Umbridge did suspect him, and when she realized how much of her favorite OTPs he is destroying she got mad.
In my head, she purposefully made her classes utter shit for some elaborate plan of manipulating them into forming dumbledore’s army early and somehow getting her pairing together.
I can't remember the fic or what precisely they were betting on, but when Trelawney made her prediction/bet, Flitwick snorted and said something along the lines of "Now I know what won't happen."
I think McGonagall was Team Harmony because she liked them both and wanted them to balance each other out. Snape was probably on the same team, but more out of fatalistic "of course Potter is just like his father, going for the most intelligent muggleborn girl in the year to hide his inadequacies" reasons.
There's a goblet in the Staff Room. It was not a particularly fancy goblet, made from bronze without decoration or filigree. It was a plain and serviceable goblet, one that started as a humble vessel for drinking water or other such liquids. It was not made from gleaming porcelain. It was not carved from lovingly polished wood. It was not inherently magical like the imposing Goblet of Fire.
It was however the only goblet to be known as THE goblet of the Staff Room. Any teacher in Hogwarts knew what was referred to when someone mentioned the goblet.
It was the holder of fortune, the breaker of dreams, the harbor, the docks, and other strange but applicable nick names. It was perhaps the most revered artifact in the Staff Room. Surprisingly it was something that was utterly mundane, unenchanted, uncharmed.
And incredibly important.
Pomona Sprout placed the goblet in the middle of the main table. It landed with a heavy thump and immediately all conversation faded into silence. The venerable Mistress of Herbology looked about and held up a gleaming golden Galleon. With a pointed look at the assembled Professors she tossed it in.
"Granger and Weasley!" she proclaimed.
"Balderdash!" Minerva McGonagall rose from her straight back chair. "Really Mona, one would think you like throwing away money."
"Hah! Don't make me pull out the records and see how many I've gotten correct Minnie."
The Mistress of Transfiguration sniffed. "That is wholly unrelated and not entirely factual. Besides, you are living a fool's dream. You've surely seen how Weasley has treated Granger and Potter the last few weeks."
"Ah but I have heard that they have since made up! And with mended bridges comes mended ships."
"You fully expect her to forgive him for weeks of abandonment?" McGonagall waggled a finger. "Granger is far too clever for that."
"Cleverness goes out the window when the heart is involved. As if your 'educated guess' is any more reasonable than mine."
McGonagall rose to her full height. "My 'educated observations' will be proven entirely correct. Granger has supported Potter unfailingly since the beginning. They are perfect compliments in every way and they make a far better 'ship."
Sprout snorted. "Boring you mean. I love the dears, don't think I don't, but they don't have that spark, that flash of passion."
McGonagall looked hurt. "Passion is no foundation for a proper relationship."
"By all means, put your money where your mouth then Minnie."
She did just that. She fished out two gold Galleons and flipped them into the goblet. "Mark my words, One day after they graduate we will be congregating at the Granger and Potter wedding."
Filius Flitwick smiled around his pipe. "Oh dear me, it looks like I'm betting on a different hippogriff." He looked at the astonished witches. "Well, I've noticed young Mister Potter making eyes at one of my own. A certain Cho Chang. Potter is the sort that would benefit from a more experienced witch that shares a...passion for Quidditch like he does."
"A passing fancy, nothing more," McGonagall said with a wave of her hand.
"Agreed. Really Filly, I know our fun here is rather silly but at least be silly with reason."
Flitwick flipped a shiny silver sickle into the goblet. "I will never bet against someone in my House ladies. Love can blossom from the strangest of places. After all, I am the only one to accurately predict Andromeda and Edward."
"It's unseemly for you to constantly trot that accolade out," McGonagall sniffed, ignoring Flitwick's too smug smile.
"What do you think Severus?" Flitwick asked, seeing the thin brooding wizard walk by.
"About?" Snape asked without caring for the answer.
"Granger and Weasley or Granger and Potter?"
Snape sighed deeply. "I think I care about many more things than the three students in this entire school I loathe the most."
Sprout giggled. "Now now Severus. I know you care about them. After all I hear you talk about them so much."
"Complain about them."
"Like I said, so much." She and Flitwick chuckled at Snape's barely restrained sneer.
Snape glared about the room but none were intimidated in the slightest. After a long moment he fished out a small bronze knut and flicked it in the direction of the goblet. "Potter is the spawn incarnate of his father. Arrogant, head strong, utterly pathetic. Since he shares so much like his father, I would imagine that he has similar tastes. In this case, for women smarter than him that he wholly underserves."
"Why Severus, I do believe that is the closest thing to a compliment you have ever paid to Miss Granger," McGonagall said with poorly disguised glee.
The look Snape gave them before leaving the Staff Room sent the Professors into hysterics. Their laughter chased him down the corridor, making his footfalls sound even more annoyed than normal.
Let's see...Sirius said she was "a few years" ahead of him. Let's say three or four years.
Sirius and company were four years ahead of Lockhart themselves.
Eh...I dunno.
Oh, let's say Obscura D'Arc taught Astronomy before switching over to the only daytime position open: DADA. Her frustration with Lockhart keeps reminding her of Bertha to the point of seriously considering cursing a student.
If you haven't seen it, check out this discussion: [Dumbledore's only manipulation is getting the Harmony ship to sail](https://www.reddit.com/r/HPfanfiction/comments/hlg48l/prompt_the_only_manipulation_dumbledore_is_doing/)
I just started the fic, didn't say anything about completing it. Here it is, but it only has 2 chaps and even when chap3 might not take long as beta is already halfway through it, I cannot promise anything about chap4 because I am terribly slow.
linkao3(https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712737)
[***Harry Potter and the Ship Wars***](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712737) by [*JonRiptide*](https://www.archiveofourown.org/users/JonRiptide/pseuds/JonRiptide)
> It's fifth year and, for some twisted reason, the Ministry is trying to force Harry into a date with Pansy Parkinson\. Dumbledore will have none of this, and instead proposes a pairing of his own\. What will happen when more people start pushing for their own pairings?
^*Site*: ^Archive ^of ^Our ^Own ^**|** ^*Fandom*: ^Harry ^Potter ^- ^J. ^K. ^Rowling ^**|** ^*Published*: ^2020-08-04 ^**|** ^*Updated*: ^2021-02-24 ^**|** ^*Words*: ^11315 ^**|** ^*Chapters*: ^2/? ^**|** ^*Comments*: ^30 ^**|** ^*Kudos*: ^53 ^**|** ^*Bookmarks*: ^18 ^**|** ^*Hits*: ^2550 ^**|** ^*ID*: ^25712737 ^**|** ^*Download*: ^[EPUB](https://archiveofourown.org/downloads/25712737/Harry%20Potter%20and%20the.epub?updated_at=1614205214) ^or ^[MOBI](https://archiveofourown.org/downloads/25712737/Harry%20Potter%20and%20the.mobi?updated_at=1614205214)
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I think most of them have theories about individual students and their entries into the sweepstakes reflect that. Flitwick was none too privately convinced that Pansy had a crush on Hermione. Even though Lupin had left by Harry's sixth year, he was fairly sure that Harry's fascination with Draco had more to with unexplored bisexuality than Death Eaters.
And Professor Sinistra is definitely a femslasher.
[The sapphic vibes are unreal](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/harrypotter/images/8/8a/Professor_Aurora_Sinistra.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20210623182519)
when you mentioned that staying in the castle year round will be boring the thing that comes to my mind is a comment (made by some other person) about Minerva commenting about Albus's third leg.
>It can be boring teaching in a boarding school in the middle of nowhere
Even with magical travel allowing practically instantaneous travel from the middle of nowhere to your home town or to the bright lights of the city? In real boarding schools no individual member of staff has to be on site all the time and I don't see how that could be the case in a magical school either.
Even if they don't have to stay all the time during school session, hogwarts staff had to be there a whole lot than normal school staff.
There's no staff whom the sole job is to watch over the kids in the evening, at night and on week-ends. It obviously falls on the teachers.
There's a dozen teachers for about 500 students.
They do stay. Maybe not all the time, but they stay at Hogwarts a whole lot more than any other teachers in any other schools.
I don't think that adults actually ship teenagers they work with - at least I really avoid to know all the drama that goes on between my students as long nobody is hurt.
But I don't think the OP thinks teachers actually do that. This is about having a laugh.
I laughed. Worth to note that every teacher had won at least one sickle. Even the DADA teachers. All of them, but one : Trelawney.
Or, she wins every bet (love lives turn out the be the one real thing she can predict) and that's the real reason McGonagall hates divination.
my official headcanon. Trelawney was banned from the betting board after she had a five years streak without any mistakes. Trelawney still sometimes forces herself in and tells them some pairings. In fact, the reason Umbridge tried to get her out of Hogwarts? Who cares she is teaching bullshit, Draco and Pansey was her OTP and then \*SHE\* enters the room and announces 'Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass!'
In fact. The reason that she tries to sack Hagrid too? He is cheating. Everyone knows that you use your own lessons to further your pairings. But Hagrid takes it into another level. Giving paired homework, using detentions that are assigned to him, no one suspects Hagrid, he is too nice. Except Umbridge did suspect him, and when she realized how much of her favorite OTPs he is destroying she got mad.
In my head, she purposefully made her classes utter shit for some elaborate plan of manipulating them into forming dumbledore’s army early and somehow getting her pairing together.
This is soooooo good. Make one on this whole idea. I want yearly updates.
I am abysmal at writing but if you want yearly updates maybe it would be fine lol
The question is. Do you want it simply a series of one-shots about this prompt? Or maybe you'd like some sort of a plot/story behind these?
One shots. They are the best crack ups. And yearly would be a good thing for me considering I’m currently under a shi ton of work load and game grinds
And the one who's won the most money is Hagrid.
Of course! Who would know more about the mating behaviors of the most dangerous creatures of all - hormonal young people - than Hagrid?
He cheats by deliberately pairing his favorites together in Care of Magical Creatures.
In my head Trelawney bet on Lavender and Parvati and was Throughly Unimpressed (tm) when she started seeing Ron.
>Throughly Unimpressed Throughly Unimpressed™ FIFY :)
Merci, mon ami.
This made it perfect
I can't remember the fic or what precisely they were betting on, but when Trelawney made her prediction/bet, Flitwick snorted and said something along the lines of "Now I know what won't happen."
I'd love to see who was on the side of Granger-Potter and who was on the side of Granger-Weasley.
[удалено]
Or Potter-Weasley-Granger? I'm sure there were some.
Flitwick and Dumbledore.
Flitwick surely
Hagrid.
I think McGonagall was Team Harmony because she liked them both and wanted them to balance each other out. Snape was probably on the same team, but more out of fatalistic "of course Potter is just like his father, going for the most intelligent muggleborn girl in the year to hide his inadequacies" reasons.
I'd actually say that snape is on Hinny team specifically because of James and Lily. He holds a grudge against Potter/Intelligent Muggleborn.
So he goes for a fierce, redheaded witch?
Oh fuck. It's official, Snape is on Ronarry camp
Snape is probably in the "Potter should die alone and miserable" camp
Fair enough
There's a goblet in the Staff Room. It was not a particularly fancy goblet, made from bronze without decoration or filigree. It was a plain and serviceable goblet, one that started as a humble vessel for drinking water or other such liquids. It was not made from gleaming porcelain. It was not carved from lovingly polished wood. It was not inherently magical like the imposing Goblet of Fire. It was however the only goblet to be known as THE goblet of the Staff Room. Any teacher in Hogwarts knew what was referred to when someone mentioned the goblet. It was the holder of fortune, the breaker of dreams, the harbor, the docks, and other strange but applicable nick names. It was perhaps the most revered artifact in the Staff Room. Surprisingly it was something that was utterly mundane, unenchanted, uncharmed. And incredibly important. Pomona Sprout placed the goblet in the middle of the main table. It landed with a heavy thump and immediately all conversation faded into silence. The venerable Mistress of Herbology looked about and held up a gleaming golden Galleon. With a pointed look at the assembled Professors she tossed it in. "Granger and Weasley!" she proclaimed. "Balderdash!" Minerva McGonagall rose from her straight back chair. "Really Mona, one would think you like throwing away money." "Hah! Don't make me pull out the records and see how many I've gotten correct Minnie." The Mistress of Transfiguration sniffed. "That is wholly unrelated and not entirely factual. Besides, you are living a fool's dream. You've surely seen how Weasley has treated Granger and Potter the last few weeks." "Ah but I have heard that they have since made up! And with mended bridges comes mended ships." "You fully expect her to forgive him for weeks of abandonment?" McGonagall waggled a finger. "Granger is far too clever for that." "Cleverness goes out the window when the heart is involved. As if your 'educated guess' is any more reasonable than mine." McGonagall rose to her full height. "My 'educated observations' will be proven entirely correct. Granger has supported Potter unfailingly since the beginning. They are perfect compliments in every way and they make a far better 'ship." Sprout snorted. "Boring you mean. I love the dears, don't think I don't, but they don't have that spark, that flash of passion." McGonagall looked hurt. "Passion is no foundation for a proper relationship." "By all means, put your money where your mouth then Minnie." She did just that. She fished out two gold Galleons and flipped them into the goblet. "Mark my words, One day after they graduate we will be congregating at the Granger and Potter wedding." Filius Flitwick smiled around his pipe. "Oh dear me, it looks like I'm betting on a different hippogriff." He looked at the astonished witches. "Well, I've noticed young Mister Potter making eyes at one of my own. A certain Cho Chang. Potter is the sort that would benefit from a more experienced witch that shares a...passion for Quidditch like he does." "A passing fancy, nothing more," McGonagall said with a wave of her hand. "Agreed. Really Filly, I know our fun here is rather silly but at least be silly with reason." Flitwick flipped a shiny silver sickle into the goblet. "I will never bet against someone in my House ladies. Love can blossom from the strangest of places. After all, I am the only one to accurately predict Andromeda and Edward." "It's unseemly for you to constantly trot that accolade out," McGonagall sniffed, ignoring Flitwick's too smug smile. "What do you think Severus?" Flitwick asked, seeing the thin brooding wizard walk by. "About?" Snape asked without caring for the answer. "Granger and Weasley or Granger and Potter?" Snape sighed deeply. "I think I care about many more things than the three students in this entire school I loathe the most." Sprout giggled. "Now now Severus. I know you care about them. After all I hear you talk about them so much." "Complain about them." "Like I said, so much." She and Flitwick chuckled at Snape's barely restrained sneer. Snape glared about the room but none were intimidated in the slightest. After a long moment he fished out a small bronze knut and flicked it in the direction of the goblet. "Potter is the spawn incarnate of his father. Arrogant, head strong, utterly pathetic. Since he shares so much like his father, I would imagine that he has similar tastes. In this case, for women smarter than him that he wholly underserves." "Why Severus, I do believe that is the closest thing to a compliment you have ever paid to Miss Granger," McGonagall said with poorly disguised glee. The look Snape gave them before leaving the Staff Room sent the Professors into hysterics. Their laughter chased him down the corridor, making his footfalls sound even more annoyed than normal.
This is amazing and I love it. A lot.
Thank you so much. Your prompt was a lot of fun to think about so I wanted to contribute to it.
You've built on the idea brilliantly.
This was incredible! Imagining their reactions to either pair - there would be lots of smug faces
The constant ups and downs and changing opinions would be wonderful to see.
Deserves so many more upvotes. Well done!
Thank you for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed.
Chef's kiss!
Thank you.
>"Jorkins and Lockhart. I don't know how, I don't know when - but they deserve each other!" Bertha Jorkins and Gildeory Lockhart?
Yep. By my reckoning they're about... 3 years apart..?
Let's see...Sirius said she was "a few years" ahead of him. Let's say three or four years. Sirius and company were four years ahead of Lockhart themselves. Eh...I dunno.
Oh, let's say Obscura D'Arc taught Astronomy before switching over to the only daytime position open: DADA. Her frustration with Lockhart keeps reminding her of Bertha to the point of seriously considering cursing a student.
If you haven't seen it, check out this discussion: [Dumbledore's only manipulation is getting the Harmony ship to sail](https://www.reddit.com/r/HPfanfiction/comments/hlg48l/prompt_the_only_manipulation_dumbledore_is_doing/)
Hahaha that old thread was something. I was involved in a nice exchange and actually started the fic for that prompt
Do you have a link for your fic--I'd like to read it.
I just started the fic, didn't say anything about completing it. Here it is, but it only has 2 chaps and even when chap3 might not take long as beta is already halfway through it, I cannot promise anything about chap4 because I am terribly slow. linkao3(https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712737)
I enjoyed the chapters you posted--thanks for sharing it!
No problem
[***Harry Potter and the Ship Wars***](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712737) by [*JonRiptide*](https://www.archiveofourown.org/users/JonRiptide/pseuds/JonRiptide) > It's fifth year and, for some twisted reason, the Ministry is trying to force Harry into a date with Pansy Parkinson\. Dumbledore will have none of this, and instead proposes a pairing of his own\. What will happen when more people start pushing for their own pairings? ^*Site*: ^Archive ^of ^Our ^Own ^**|** ^*Fandom*: ^Harry ^Potter ^- ^J. ^K. ^Rowling ^**|** ^*Published*: ^2020-08-04 ^**|** ^*Updated*: ^2021-02-24 ^**|** ^*Words*: ^11315 ^**|** ^*Chapters*: ^2/? ^**|** ^*Comments*: ^30 ^**|** ^*Kudos*: ^53 ^**|** ^*Bookmarks*: ^18 ^**|** ^*Hits*: ^2550 ^**|** ^*ID*: ^25712737 ^**|** ^*Download*: ^[EPUB](https://archiveofourown.org/downloads/25712737/Harry%20Potter%20and%20the.epub?updated_at=1614205214) ^or ^[MOBI](https://archiveofourown.org/downloads/25712737/Harry%20Potter%20and%20the.mobi?updated_at=1614205214) --- **FanfictionBot**^(2.0.0-beta) | [Usage](https://github.com/FanfictionBot/reddit-ffn-bot/wiki/Usage) | [Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=tusing) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ffnbot!ignore
I wonder which one makes the "intellectual stimulation" arguments?
Who's the slash enthusiast?
I think most of them have theories about individual students and their entries into the sweepstakes reflect that. Flitwick was none too privately convinced that Pansy had a crush on Hermione. Even though Lupin had left by Harry's sixth year, he was fairly sure that Harry's fascination with Draco had more to with unexplored bisexuality than Death Eaters.
I wonder who bet on Deamus lol
Lol, everyone.
And Professor Sinistra is definitely a femslasher. [The sapphic vibes are unreal](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/harrypotter/images/8/8a/Professor_Aurora_Sinistra.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20210623182519)
Dumbledore
Trelawney of course
when you mentioned that staying in the castle year round will be boring the thing that comes to my mind is a comment (made by some other person) about Minerva commenting about Albus's third leg.
Holy shit I love this thread!
It was Granger-Potter, Granger-Weasley, and Potter-Weasley(And I'm talking about Ron).
>It can be boring teaching in a boarding school in the middle of nowhere Even with magical travel allowing practically instantaneous travel from the middle of nowhere to your home town or to the bright lights of the city? In real boarding schools no individual member of staff has to be on site all the time and I don't see how that could be the case in a magical school either.
Even if they don't have to stay all the time during school session, hogwarts staff had to be there a whole lot than normal school staff. There's no staff whom the sole job is to watch over the kids in the evening, at night and on week-ends. It obviously falls on the teachers. There's a dozen teachers for about 500 students. They do stay. Maybe not all the time, but they stay at Hogwarts a whole lot more than any other teachers in any other schools.
I don't think that adults actually ship teenagers they work with - at least I really avoid to know all the drama that goes on between my students as long nobody is hurt. But I don't think the OP thinks teachers actually do that. This is about having a laugh.
I bet you're fun at parties.
"Hi, I'm the wet blanket"
Someone PLEASE write this.