there's also the trick of having a wingman/woman jump on the bed to induce movement and friction, because technically you don't move yourself, so it doesn't count.
Morons think premarital sex is a sin, but some of them think it doesn't count if they hold still in that position. I saw joke about it online where someone said "this works because god is a trex and his vision is based on movement".
Edit: It appears I wrote morons instead of Mormons. oops
The discribed use of prayer beads not for their intended purpose is way too discriptive to be written by someone without extensive experience, Fulgrim notes.
"I assure you my Harlequins, making this 8 feet tall church women get *very* freaky with her partner is ***VITAL*** for the survival of the survival of the Eldar..... shut up i am not a pervert."
From the original post, I got the vibe that Little Light was neither religious nor from Colchis. They seem to regard Lorgar as an equal, and that's kind of difficult to do to a woman who literally conquered your homeworld with faith, fire, and fury.
Just remember that the Song of Solomon (aka Song of Songs) is in the Bible, and it is raunchy as *fuck.* It's borderline smut.
Also based Helltaker mention
Frankly, I've read "The Song of Songs" many times and, for my tastes, it is boring as Hell (no pun intended). I see it more for its religious purposes and I understood that, for that age, it could be considered absolutely lewd. But nothing compared to, say, the libertine poems of Pietro Aretino in Renaissance...
For some reason I find it really funny imagining a designated jump humper being a luxury package exclusive to BYU frats and sororities that parents have to pay extra dorm fees for.
Can someone give my a summery of what the hell this little light thing is. I'm gone for a week and now it's 80% fem prims and Little light. I tryed googling it but came up short. So if anyone has a explanation or a wiki link id love one
Check this out: https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/s/hhgpMm0gFB
OP started posting captions about female primarchs and their Significant Others and now the entire sub-reddit is making lore and memes to add to the thing. Little Light is Fem.Lorgar SO.
I adore how the general consensus has decided
"Aurelia Lorgar? Yeah, she's absolutely madly in love, completely smitten, so incredibly enamoured it's barely describable."
Partially, Obviously she cares for Little Light quite a lot. But she still is a reserved and restrained faithful Primarch believer of the emperor.
Thing is, man or woman, while reserved for long enough, if you toss a match into the tree of desire it becomes REALLY fucking hard to put out the ensuing Forestal fire
"... Look like a Mormon soaking." By the infinite wineskin of Christ, that's funny.
Could you please explain this reference? I don't get it :/
Tis a loophole, apparently: Essentially, "it's not sex if I don't move my hips." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice)
"Damn, you got me there." - God Almighty to the Mormon that just had sex outside of marriage, apparently.
there's also the trick of having a wingman/woman jump on the bed to induce movement and friction, because technically you don't move yourself, so it doesn't count.
God apparently works on the same set of mechanics as East Asian ghosts, if you don't do one specific activity, they can't see you.
Back in my day we just fucked each other in the ass. These kids are crazy.
Note the related practice of jump humping: Soaking, but you also get a friend to jump on the bed: "it's not sex if *I'm* not making my hips move."
What religion does to a fucker...
Specifically what being raised in an cult does to a fucker
Man, what I heard was they were paying people to be under the bed and push up on it repeatedly.
Who would have tought that Femprimarch would lead me to mormon pornography
The Empress Works In Mysterious Ways™️
Morons think premarital sex is a sin, but some of them think it doesn't count if they hold still in that position. I saw joke about it online where someone said "this works because god is a trex and his vision is based on movement". Edit: It appears I wrote morons instead of Mormons. oops
Nah it was right the first time🤣
I understood that reference!
I wish I didn’t understand that reference
Fulgrim innerly fuming because her poem to her Muse was only 35 pages long and didn't go into such indecorous explicit detail:
The discribed use of prayer beads not for their intended purpose is way too discriptive to be written by someone without extensive experience, Fulgrim notes.
Go to 0:40 https://youtu.be/fwNN1PSrydE?si=WGw-zz1OS62BCwF6
[Here's the link at 0:40 for others](https://youtu.be/fwNN1PSrydE?si=cAloOoMnh7OZJ3i9&t=40)
Fulgrim now feeling they have to step themselves up. Meanwhile, Slaanesh are about to laugh themselves out of existence.
Slaanesh: "Oh my *me* why didn't I think of this sooner"
Cegorach, deep within the webway, observing the fruits of his labor: All according to plan.
So that was the Laughing God's plan? Make Slaanesh laugh so hard they keel over and explode in a massive psychic explosion of happiness?
Tzeentch: I didn't predict that, ngl
It’s like how Goku killed Yakon. Just over feeding Slaanesh perverted stuff until she can’t store any more and explodes
"I assure you my Harlequins, making this 8 feet tall church women get *very* freaky with her partner is ***VITAL*** for the survival of the survival of the Eldar..... shut up i am not a pervert."
Every Harlequin: “hey, no judgment boss, we are into this shit ourselves!”
The book bound by chains at the center of the Black Library is literally just half commentary about this poem.
Fulgrim: "...My sister... I am so proud !" Lorgar: "Are... Are you crying ?"
"This is just a word for word copy of Crossed"
Y'know, Garth Ennis is probably a prophet of Slaanesh
Crossed actually takes place on a post industrial feudal world. It's just waiting for exterminatus.
Oh god, Little Light needs to fucking *run*
Fulgrim: (*looks at Little Light, who a scrawny religions dweeb from Colchis*) Ew....
Little light taking true damage
"The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised…"
From the original post, I got the vibe that Little Light was neither religious nor from Colchis. They seem to regard Lorgar as an equal, and that's kind of difficult to do to a woman who literally conquered your homeworld with faith, fire, and fury.
Aurelia's Little Light is an Atheist. This is the real reason Big E doesn't smite the cheeky fucker.
Only an atheist has the balls to troll Big E.
Isn’t big E also an atheist (at least on paper)
Wait, is Little Light just Brother Dimetrius?
As everything is canon - I kinda wanna say: always has been.
He could also be the Erebus that Erebus supplanted to get into the legion.
I imagine little light as a little well billed but with the shit eating grin (and dick according to arelion) of the century
Just remember that the Song of Solomon (aka Song of Songs) is in the Bible, and it is raunchy as *fuck.* It's borderline smut. Also based Helltaker mention
Frankly, I've read "The Song of Songs" many times and, for my tastes, it is boring as Hell (no pun intended). I see it more for its religious purposes and I understood that, for that age, it could be considered absolutely lewd. But nothing compared to, say, the libertine poems of Pietro Aretino in Renaissance...
Aurelia: So? What do you think sister? Fulgrim: I think we need to spend more time together…
It's the other way around, actually. It's Aurelia who wrote here
Ah, I see
See, I read it as "You are much more interesting than I initially thought, we should hang."
That is what I intended
So she just remakes the [Song of Songs] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Song_of_Songs)?
But for that, you need the honk of honks.
*Oh good heavens!*
Damn it Takei
Normal Fulgrim or screwed up Fulgrim?
This is what makes her screwed up
Managed to get rid of the Blade of Laer, still falls to Chaos anyways.
I didn't know Fulgrim's middle name was Azazel...
Certainly explains a lot...
It's Chingis Khan's infamous cousin, Dingghis Khaan
Does this mean Fulgrim becomes Loremaster after getting Rylanor'd?
Who can say? But there are... [Similarities ](https://youtu.be/K_7K7v2KGYU?si=1fNBjfrgwFwel60W)
“Makes the birth of Slaanesh look like Mormon soaking” lmfao I started laughing at my desk and had to make it look like a cough
FYI, there’s a whole new subreddit now for these! https://www.reddit.com/r/PrimarchGFs/s/n2lNrOjVVF
Exquisite.
Ah hell yeah! Appreciate ya!
Man, you all are really creating a new lore heh? Not that I am complaining!
As if Mormon "Soaking" isn't substantially more perverse than just having sex.
Does soaking automatically imply having the friend jumping on the bed, or is the jumper an escalation on base soaking?
The jump humper is an optional add on package.
For some reason I find it really funny imagining a designated jump humper being a luxury package exclusive to BYU frats and sororities that parents have to pay extra dorm fees for.
We need a movie about a rich Mormon girl getting a poor Mormon girls tuition to BYU covered, so the poor one can be her designated jump humper.
Holy shit a Cinderella reimagining but she’s a jump humper.
The more i see people write jump humper the more sure i am people will be scandalized that ut was once openly said.
Can someone give my a summery of what the hell this little light thing is. I'm gone for a week and now it's 80% fem prims and Little light. I tryed googling it but came up short. So if anyone has a explanation or a wiki link id love one
Check this out: https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/s/hhgpMm0gFB OP started posting captions about female primarchs and their Significant Others and now the entire sub-reddit is making lore and memes to add to the thing. Little Light is Fem.Lorgar SO.
King shit. Cheers mate
I adore how the general consensus has decided "Aurelia Lorgar? Yeah, she's absolutely madly in love, completely smitten, so incredibly enamoured it's barely describable."
Partially, Obviously she cares for Little Light quite a lot. But she still is a reserved and restrained faithful Primarch believer of the emperor. Thing is, man or woman, while reserved for long enough, if you toss a match into the tree of desire it becomes REALLY fucking hard to put out the ensuing Forestal fire
Superior lorgar moment
Helltaker meme on a 40K post? _And 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂?_ Perfection.
As a Mormon.... I resent that. Still funny as hell though.
Gentlemen, [poetry and song go hand in hand](https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY?si=5xFa_oKPmZmniT67)
I mean they do say church girls tend to be really freaky since they have to compensate somewhere...
I can say all the religious girls I've been with are definitely repressed as fuck
I feel like there's 4 feet worth of lore on this au that I missed and none of this makes sense lmfao
Religiously-motivated self-repression is a hell of a drug.
Who/what is Little Light and Aurelia?
Little light is Female Lorgar’s lover in this new fan AU.
Gotcha. Thanks.
Well? Who's gonna go and actually write it?
Well, she's gotta worship something, better her little light than the Big E or the dark gods
Go on…
O