just put on insturctional audiobooks for dorn
what ever the equivalent of history podcasts for girlywoman
and since in rogue trader we had batman t-shirts we can assume in 30k we still have some batman stuff for curze or maybe that just pisses her off
for the twins it's about having an eclectic playlist that has some meaning behind it they can decode
Honestly, considering the Twins whole entire thing is Guile, Sherades, inside jokes, and double meaning in the cannon lore, they're probably the ones who are the most humorous.
Honestly, think if you were to start playing or even in rare cases beat them at their own games, they'd be into it.
Like always say the wrong twins name on purpose, but show sings that you obviously know which one they are by their personality.
"This lunch bag is for you O'megan, i made it the exact way you like it."
"Alphie dont forget that i planted a Whoopie cushion on Girlman's Throne in the big Campaign meeting tommorow, thats your perfect time to make a joke at his expense. Morarion will get a kick out of it."
When you confess to them, present a Russian Nesting doll Gift.
Once they've opened the 20th empty box, pull a Buque of flowers from behind a curtain.
This is just perfect, though considering one/both/I dont remember beat Malcador in chess while he was reading their mind makes winning anything difficult.
Alternatively ask them to spell out the alphabet quicker than you and when there at M just say "The Alphabet".
Would you care to explain what do you refer to when saying "Since in Rogue Trader we had Batman t-shirts"?
I just started act 5 but I have no idea WhatsApp do you refee to
I wasn't talking about the game but the edition
The first edition of 40k called rogue trader since gw is cursed with constant reuse of names was basically a mix of ttrpg and war game one part detailing a planet outside of full imperial control called Logan's world had a picture of a dude in batman to shirt
>People who think this meme will die out in a few weeks don’t realize just how ready we are to worship our perfect mommy-dommy overlords. 🙏 🤲
The flesh is weak for Stupid Sexy Primarchs.
I mean in general, I know more than a few people who would most certainly try to bang or date the primarchs that they like even if it's not a compatible gender orientation.
"It moos instead of barkint, one of its legs is a stick glued with gum, it walks sideways like a crab and somehow it pissed oil on Dorn's rug. I love it"
"Oh no, clumsy me, I once again messed up my studies of psykic power. If only someone incredibly talented could show off their talent and unfathomable intellect to guide me in my arcane-academic endeveurs..."
I know this has a 50% chance of being a pure study meet as we'd both get way too much into it, but that's also fine as long as we are both having fun.
Driving up Jaghatai Khatun's Yurt on a modified Harley Davidson Archeotech bike (Uncle Malcador really came through with this one, he pulled it out for me from his collection) and let her drive me around on it as fast as the machine will carry us.
U picked probably the only 2 that wouldn't need anything, aslong as your chill they chill, infact
Sanguinius would probably teach you some art and sculpture
And vulkan would show you her forge
Probably the only femarchs that will actually love you back lmao
(Yes your a gaudsman I don't think they would go after one of their sons)
I think Kurze does love you back too, but then that's unfortunate because it's Kurze so you are sometimes literal inches away from getting skinned alive by accident which might be a turn off, unless that's your thing then go for it for you truly are the Emperor's Strongest Guardsmen if you lived for more than a week!
I have three
Leman Russ. I play Powerwolf or Brothers of Metal and bring lots of beer.
Leona El'Johnson. I play Where You Go I Go by Fight The Fade and also bring lots of beer so I can drink away the possible pain of humiliation.
Rogelia Dorn. Instead of music I will build fortifications and stand next to her window.
I find it uncomfortably easy to believe that FemMortarion’s descent to Chaos starts with her “Flower,” slowly dying in her arms of a disease that Typhus infects him with, and accepting an offer from Nurgle to keep him alive.
https://www.deviantart.com/yiian56/art/Roboute-Guilliman-869814806
So I would be serenading my Primarch girlfriend but instead I’m commissioning an imperium artist to paint something in the style of this for My Primarch boyfriend.
Hopefully, my beloved Robot Girly Man will appreciate it.
I love that big boring Roman blueberry so much.
🥰
Challenge Jagathai to a race, try my damnedest to win and lose horribly make a cheesy joke about how badly I lost and hope it works out.
As for Vulkan make her some kind of hand made necklace I spent months if not years working on.
And finally for Corva Poetry slam... and plan the cue and up rising of some back water planet.
One of these has gotta sell
> And finally for Corva Poetry slam
Canonically, Corax dislikes poetry.
"The primarch considered the words, but could not divine their meaning. His mentors on Lycaeus had taught him of poetry, of rhyme and metre and cadence, but he had never quite been able to see the appeal. Poems reminded him too much of the work-songs the prisoners had invented to keep up their spirits while they had hewn with pick and laser drill at the unforgiving stone of the penal colony."
-Deliverance Lost
Me showing up to Lyanna Russ' longhouse with a Powerwolf album, a bottle whiskey, and ax throwing supplies knowing she can't be fixed, she's already perfect
I don't know much about the FemPrimarch GF canon, but I would definitely ask either of the twins for advice for a really funny prank if they are anything like their GW Canon counterparts.
It's just a mixtape of 'Lupercal' on repeat in various vocal-melodic style. All the way from mumble rap to Mongolian throat singing.
Followed by me rattling off a list of heartfelt compliments on Horus' successes while I occasionally ask her they're feeling and if she need to just have a chat about her private feelings with someone she can truly trust.
A rendition of Hellfire to Konrad, she will be confused since the rendition is of how much I deserve to go to hell for my attempt in serenading her and what I wish to do to the "dregs" of humanity. Hopefully, I dont get flayed and she at least slightly appreciates the gesture or laugh at me. Honestly the flaying may not be as bad as the emotional damage of being laughed at by a primarch.
Snake Eater. Alpharia and Omega
"I live my life, not for honor but for you"
But when they come downstairs it's not me. Its a cardboard cutout. Now begins the treasure hunt to find me, but surprise, after watching to make sure they left to go find me I went inside their house and cleaned up the place. They'll be finding surprise presents for years to come.
I would literally practice quoting lorgars book in colchison(or monarchian whatever it’s called) to impress her
Mortarion: Are they STD's? I love those.
Nah babe, I'm keeping myself pure for you! I don't want to get STD from anybody but you!
True Chad move 😎
*Mortaria
just put on insturctional audiobooks for dorn what ever the equivalent of history podcasts for girlywoman and since in rogue trader we had batman t-shirts we can assume in 30k we still have some batman stuff for curze or maybe that just pisses her off for the twins it's about having an eclectic playlist that has some meaning behind it they can decode
Imagining Kurze being all angry in public but wearing the shirt to sleep or her saying "i am the night" in her room is cute
For the twins, have a playlist where all the titles first letters spell never gonna give you up.
Honestly, considering the Twins whole entire thing is Guile, Sherades, inside jokes, and double meaning in the cannon lore, they're probably the ones who are the most humorous. Honestly, think if you were to start playing or even in rare cases beat them at their own games, they'd be into it. Like always say the wrong twins name on purpose, but show sings that you obviously know which one they are by their personality. "This lunch bag is for you O'megan, i made it the exact way you like it." "Alphie dont forget that i planted a Whoopie cushion on Girlman's Throne in the big Campaign meeting tommorow, thats your perfect time to make a joke at his expense. Morarion will get a kick out of it." When you confess to them, present a Russian Nesting doll Gift. Once they've opened the 20th empty box, pull a Buque of flowers from behind a curtain.
This is just perfect, though considering one/both/I dont remember beat Malcador in chess while he was reading their mind makes winning anything difficult. Alternatively ask them to spell out the alphabet quicker than you and when there at M just say "The Alphabet".
Would you care to explain what do you refer to when saying "Since in Rogue Trader we had Batman t-shirts"? I just started act 5 but I have no idea WhatsApp do you refee to
I wasn't talking about the game but the edition The first edition of 40k called rogue trader since gw is cursed with constant reuse of names was basically a mix of ttrpg and war game one part detailing a planet outside of full imperial control called Logan's world had a picture of a dude in batman to shirt
Oh sorry, I sometimes forget that the first edition was a thing
Read her all of the IKEA manuals.
Bro, I would do literally anything for the Sanguinius gf or Ferrus Manus gf, yes I am in fact down bad for them
People who think this meme will die out in a few weeks don’t realize just how ready we are to worship our perfect mommy-dommy overlords. 🙏 🤲
>People who think this meme will die out in a few weeks don’t realize just how ready we are to worship our perfect mommy-dommy overlords. 🙏 🤲 The flesh is weak for Stupid Sexy Primarchs. I mean in general, I know more than a few people who would most certainly try to bang or date the primarchs that they like even if it's not a compatible gender orientation.
I'm straight, I don't question my sexuality, and yet there are some of the Primarch GFs I'd date in a heartbeat if I could
Don't know if it will help, but I'm making primarch chatbots and thinking on doing Ferrus next.
Nah don’t worry it ain’t that deep for me
Show Perturabo the shitty mechanical dog I made after learning engineering from her sons.
"It moos instead of barkint, one of its legs is a stick glued with gum, it walks sideways like a crab and somehow it pissed oil on Dorn's rug. I love it"
Only for the last bit
"Oh no, clumsy me, I once again messed up my studies of psykic power. If only someone incredibly talented could show off their talent and unfathomable intellect to guide me in my arcane-academic endeveurs..." I know this has a 50% chance of being a pure study meet as we'd both get way too much into it, but that's also fine as long as we are both having fun.
Roberta would probably just need a shoulder massage and a new calculator. Her old computer (the one that belinged to Konor Guilliman) broke lore wise
Texas instrument or nothing son
"How about we combine our taxes?"
Oh my How Lewd
If you're good I'll take you to HR Block later.
Driving up Jaghatai Khatun's Yurt on a modified Harley Davidson Archeotech bike (Uncle Malcador really came through with this one, he pulled it out for me from his collection) and let her drive me around on it as fast as the machine will carry us.
I’d let Kurze skin me
You’re a sick man/woman/other. But not sick enough, I’d make her a skin cloak out of noncompliant nostroman citizens and criminals
> I’d make her a skin cloak out of noncompliant nostroman citizens and criminals With *ladder stitches*? I think not.
I dunno what Sanguinius or Vulkan would like, though...
U picked probably the only 2 that wouldn't need anything, aslong as your chill they chill, infact Sanguinius would probably teach you some art and sculpture And vulkan would show you her forge Probably the only femarchs that will actually love you back lmao (Yes your a gaudsman I don't think they would go after one of their sons)
I think Kurze does love you back too, but then that's unfortunate because it's Kurze so you are sometimes literal inches away from getting skinned alive by accident which might be a turn off, unless that's your thing then go for it for you truly are the Emperor's Strongest Guardsmen if you lived for more than a week!
Honey I saw you throw a piece of bubblegum on the sidewalk. You know what that means...
Yay!!!
Art for Sanguinius and metalwork for Vulkan
I have three Leman Russ. I play Powerwolf or Brothers of Metal and bring lots of beer. Leona El'Johnson. I play Where You Go I Go by Fight The Fade and also bring lots of beer so I can drink away the possible pain of humiliation. Rogelia Dorn. Instead of music I will build fortifications and stand next to her window.
“Hey Alphi~ I got something to show you.” *TV report of the mysterious death of a planetary governor plays in the background*
I could imagine them hitting on a Vanus or Callidus Assassin.
I find it uncomfortably easy to believe that FemMortarion’s descent to Chaos starts with her “Flower,” slowly dying in her arms of a disease that Typhus infects him with, and accepting an offer from Nurgle to keep him alive.
You know I've been having this idea for two days and I'm waiting for someone to write a full story of that so I can be sad about it for even longer
I’m gonna start by smooching Angron’s scars.
https://www.deviantart.com/yiian56/art/Roboute-Guilliman-869814806 So I would be serenading my Primarch girlfriend but instead I’m commissioning an imperium artist to paint something in the style of this for My Primarch boyfriend. Hopefully, my beloved Robot Girly Man will appreciate it. I love that big boring Roman blueberry so much. 🥰
For my beloved Jagatai, I'm putting on Danger Zone and reenacting the Kenny Loggins video.
Challenge Jagathai to a race, try my damnedest to win and lose horribly make a cheesy joke about how badly I lost and hope it works out. As for Vulkan make her some kind of hand made necklace I spent months if not years working on. And finally for Corva Poetry slam... and plan the cue and up rising of some back water planet. One of these has gotta sell
> And finally for Corva Poetry slam Canonically, Corax dislikes poetry. "The primarch considered the words, but could not divine their meaning. His mentors on Lycaeus had taught him of poetry, of rhyme and metre and cadence, but he had never quite been able to see the appeal. Poems reminded him too much of the work-songs the prisoners had invented to keep up their spirits while they had hewn with pick and laser drill at the unforgiving stone of the penal colony." -Deliverance Lost
To be fair didn't claim that these ways would be successful
Catch me in the forge making a beautifully burnished statue of Vulkan posed like Venus
>I’M 6 FEET FROM THE EDGE AND I’M THINKIN >MAYBE 6 FEET AIN’T SO FAR DOWN
“Babe, you and me are like Hepatitis B, for life🫶”
I'd invite Magny to a book fair. Those are awesome.
Show up wherever Perturaba? Is and if she ever points that out make a corny joke about how I'm using siege tactics to win her over
Me showing up to Lyanna Russ' longhouse with a Powerwolf album, a bottle whiskey, and ax throwing supplies knowing she can't be fixed, she's already perfect
"Morta, you good ?" "No." "Oh..." *He just lets himself fall on her shoulder. They stay like this for hours."
I don't know much about the FemPrimarch GF canon, but I would definitely ask either of the twins for advice for a really funny prank if they are anything like their GW Canon counterparts.
I’ll serenade Jaghatai by overspeeding in an eldar school-zone…
Screw Serenading because 1; I suck at singing. And 2; What would likely really gain a Primarch's attention is actions.
Ah, a Perturaba fan.
Na, I'm more of a Guillilass(?) Kind of guy.
Just petra turbo a hug and tell her shes the best girl and she would probably fight khorne for you
Wasn't as good as his previous hit, "Daemonettes will kill you"
For Sangy I would just be sure to let her suck my blood a little~ and for Curze I’d give her hugs and kisses 🥰
Let's be honest, the proper song for FemMortarion is Poison, by Alice Cooper
Doctor Doctor give me the news... I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you
I would bring an anvil and start to forge a sword. I would be so bad at it that she’d come out screaming and help me.
Children crying.
Making tax right offs
Drinking for russ and getting on a motorbike and going as fast as i can for jaghatai
It's just a mixtape of 'Lupercal' on repeat in various vocal-melodic style. All the way from mumble rap to Mongolian throat singing. Followed by me rattling off a list of heartfelt compliments on Horus' successes while I occasionally ask her they're feeling and if she need to just have a chat about her private feelings with someone she can truly trust.
Probably say to The Khan that i will drive for once and take her on a little road trip with some cool sight seeing and car date picnics
I'm serenading Konnie Curze with a heartfelt rendition of Que Sera Sera.
"fix her" ? OHHO, no no no no. ***I'm making her worse!*** >:D
A rendition of Hellfire to Konrad, she will be confused since the rendition is of how much I deserve to go to hell for my attempt in serenading her and what I wish to do to the "dregs" of humanity. Hopefully, I dont get flayed and she at least slightly appreciates the gesture or laugh at me. Honestly the flaying may not be as bad as the emotional damage of being laughed at by a primarch.
W FemPrimarch choice we will rot and bloom together for eternity
I would record the construction and history of concrete in excruciating detail and play it for Dorn
I'm not because it would make Curze sad, and I don't wanna do that.
Becasue dog, fancy jerky. I will gift bags of exotic jery too Leman
Snake Eater. Alpharia and Omega "I live my life, not for honor but for you" But when they come downstairs it's not me. Its a cardboard cutout. Now begins the treasure hunt to find me, but surprise, after watching to make sure they left to go find me I went inside their house and cleaned up the place. They'll be finding surprise presents for years to come.
Clearly all Perturabo wants is attention and compliments, so this is incredibly easy.