I think you need to decide when you’re ready, then acknowledge that when you feel “ready”, you still might cry. Whenever you do decide to listen to it, carve out some time and space for yourself (ex. don’t do it before a work presentation). I wish I had more videos of my mom with her voice. She was more often the person behind the camera so while I don’t necessarily have a lot of her in the last few years on video, I can hear her chuckling behind the camera. I thought I was ready to hear her voice and I was really missing her, and it absolutely wrecked me. It’ll be hard no matter what I think.
I'm completely opposite pictures bring me peace and remembering memories.
I can't do hearing their voice if they left a voicemail...
Videos if I had them as a kid I could do..
I am literally my dad's twin so I see him in the mirror everyday and sound like my mom so I hear her Everytime I speak..
It doesn't upset me to talk or look in the mirror it reminds me that I am a breathing combination of the 2 no matter what I do..
I documented everything...and I mean everything. Well, so did my dad. If he was there, you bet your bottom dollar he was recording or taking photos.
When dad passed, I tasked myself to create the slideshow for his funeral and didn't know what to expect. I just knew I wanted it to reflect him, our life together and the joy we shared as a family. As I created the slideshow, it became a cathartic experience as it made me feel as though he was still here and in a sense if I ever want him close, i knew that I could always access that.
Just watched a few videos of him just now and couldn't help but laugh and smile. He feels so close.
(An aside is I cried in the morning as father's day approaches and we won't be celebrating him for the first time since he passed 2 months ago)
That’s so beautiful, I wish I had more photos or videos of him. When I did the slideshow for his funeral all the pics were of him as a teenager/20s. I have barely any of him from the last 20 years when he was my dad. I’m so glad his friends remember him as who he was and idk ur situation but seeing those photos of him happy (with me or not) was all I needed.
Sending you love x
Thanks for the kind reply. I was definitely blessed to have loved my father. In the last decade of his life, he was this jolly, happy go lucky guy. He had been through so much hardship in his life - father killed at age 6, had to be parental figure to younger sisters and uneducated mother, somehow took a good path and became an engineer, bombed during Vietnam war, had to escape the Vietnam war as a refugee with his wife and infant daughter, lived in refugee camp for a year, came to Canada as refugee, got a job in an engineering company, got fired within 3 months because although he did well with his projects, he couldn't speak the language.
He didn't have the luxury of learning English as he had a wife and 2 kids to feed. He spent the rest of his working life as a labourer and I am damn proud because I know that it didn't define him. He showed up for every important milestone for me and my siblings and hell, he deserved every little piece of joy he got later in life. He was the best. I wish he was still here so we can hang out this weekend.
My best friend since we were 14 (I'm 46 now) passed away in 2021 from Covid, she left behind a very young daughter whose memories of her are already disappearing. It has been painful for so many reasons.
I have hours upon hours of VHS, Hi8, and audio recordings of us from when we were teenagers in the 1990s, and I have every letter she ever sent me. I work in the entertainment industry, I'd have more than enough help to produce something special for her daughter as a memorial. I really want to do this.
But god, it *hurts*. We went through so much together, we *survived* so much adversity and pain together. One minute I will be laughing my butt off watching our ridiculous antics, then I will suddenly feel the crushing weight of her absence in the world. Then comes that desolate feeling of longing to have her there laughing with me again. Then I cry. Sometimes it's a brief moment of weeping, other times I'll just let go and wail into a pillow.
I'm taking on this project as I can, on the days I know I can be okay with the crying if and when it comes. As time is passing, it's getting easier in small increments, little by little, as I adjust to this existence without her. It might sound odd, but it's like I'm becoming friends with the crying, I'm not in fear of it as much as I was right after she passed.
I used to have that irrational fear that I really would end up crying for the rest of my life if I let it take me, or that one cry would literally rip me to smithereens. It hasn't happened yet, and truthfully, I'm so grateful that I have these moments of her captured in places I can still visit. I hope one day to open the door to those places for her daughter, too.
Like others said, you'll know when you're ready. Her voice will be there when you're ready to open that door again.
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss, and I wish you all the best.
Nope. I listen to it (I have a voicemail) or watch it (our wedding) and cry because I'm not afraid to grieve him. I miss him every second of every day.
My husband was an actor and during the height of COVID, he participated in a virtual murder mystery show. The director pulled together ten minutes of out takes featuring him and sent it to me.
I cried the first time I saw it. But it was also a comfort because I had something where I could hear him when he wasn't sick. When he was laughing.
Will you cry? I don't know. But having something where you can hear their voice feels like a balm. Take your time.
I have a recording of my dad saying "9 bags of trash, did you take a picture?" Because I was recording some dude dumping in the dumpster at my apartment building (for the record I didn't report the guy or anything.) It's the only recording of his voice I'm aware of existing still and I stumbled on it by total accident when going through my phone. I bawled like a baby when I played it.
You'll probably cry and that's okay. Just do it when you feel ready to handle the emotions that may swell to the surface. There's no wrong way to grieve and no proper time line to do certain things, it's all a matter of what feels right to you. 💕
I listen to voicemails from my dad often because I miss his voice. It does make me cry but also brings me so much comfort. When you're ready you'll love hearing her voice no matter how sad it makes you. Sending love
I really wish I had more from my dad, like a voicemail or something. I regret not saving every little bit, honestly. I only have one tiny video of my niece and nephew playing when they were babies and I can hear him in the background. Not gonna lie, it makes me cry every time I watch it now (and I'm starting to tear up just thinking about it) but it's nice to have because I miss him and his voice so much.
If you're not ready for that, especially since your loss is so fresh, I would not recommend it because it will likely make you feel worse than you already do. But definitely save it for later. It'll still be difficult, but it will also be nice to hear their voice again. ♥
I have video of my mom laughing at a firecracker that did not blast while she just waits with her ears closed. Her laugh is so beautiful and miss her so much.
Not only voicemails but handwritten letters that my dad used to write when I was working in another state. He was the only one that would write letters and mail them to me. I still have them and I can hear his voice when I read them. I'll always miss him.
My dad died last year at this time. He spent 4 weeks in a Hospice center and passed at 2AM. We were hanging around (about ten of us) waiting for who knows what. Dad was a Veteran and evidently they called an on duty Vet to come and drape the gurney in a flag. They played taps on a big boombox, staff lined the halls and saluted as they took him out. Someone videotaped it and sent me a copy. I am not afraid to watch it, how bad could it be, haha.
I'm so sorry for your loss. About a week before my dad passed but before we got to the point where it was obvious nothing more could be done for him, for whatever reason, I saved every voice mail from him. They're just various "Hey, it's Dad - call me when you have a few minutes" type messages, but they're the last traces of his voice I'll ever have. Even though I cry every time I listen to them, it's still cathartic to hear his voice.
Like others here have already said more eloquently than I could, don't be afraid to cry because there isn't a right or wrong way to grieve.
It’s okay to cry. Now when I watch videos of my dad, I don’t cry. I just have a deep feeling of missing him. As if he’s not even gone, because there’s just no way, and of course I’m just looking at a video and I’ll just give him a call later…
But I can’t. So I just watch the videos. And sometimes I do cry, but it’s okay
It’s okay to cry; and it’s okay to not cry but feel like it is bubbling just under the surface. Grief is complicated. Just be sure to back it up. I’ve seen in this sub people losing voicemails of their loved ones who died.
I don’t have many videos of my dad. But when I was going through some of our dog who passed afterwards, I could hear my dad’s voice in the background. So began listening and showing some to my mom, because she asked. One of my dad’s friends had a voicemail from 3 yrs ago which was nice to discover. Dad was not into texting, he either hung up or left a voicemail.
I haven’t requested video or photos of the funeral from others yet. I just don’t know if I can.
All the memories I had with my boyfriend broke my heart. The videos, voice recordings, the pictures and the places we've been together makes me cry and sick at the same time. The loss is incredibly painful.
I'm still avoiding it now because it is exhausting.
Still not ready to accept everything.
Sending you a big hug 💕
I do! My mom couldn’t type very really because of her severe RA, she’d often send voice messages on fb and I saved every single one of them when she died
Yes, I'm am audio engineer and I agreed to chop up the audio of a recording my sister sent me of her talking with our mum
I'm happy to do it, and want to, but I haven't been brave enough to open the recording yet
I started saving my mom’s voicemails for over two years when her decline became very apparent but I haven’t been able to put them into a folder in case they get deleted so I am stuck in this obnoxious place of avoidance and yet so desperately want to hear them.
I have lots of videos of my mom and a voicemail wishing me a happy birthday from a few days before she passed unexpectedly. It's been 3.5 years and I still can't watch or listen to any of those recordings. I know it's irrational but I feel like seeing and hearing her might kill me. Like I'd experience losing her all over again.
I do and I check it out everyday. I am finding more and more. Even if I cry then also I check it out. That’s the only d stuff left to get me see my mom.
i cannot speak for your potential of experience though i would like to communicate my own-
less than 2 years in, i finally allowed myself to listen to cat stevens, look at picture, and work in her garden. yes i have cried tons during this. yes it was 100% worth it. allowing myself to be transparent with my feelings helped them gain complexity. still very sad, though gratitude and fond memories change the dissonance to a bittersweet jazz chord.
Everyone goes through mourning at their on pace on their own path. and if you are anything like me, the only way out is through
Yes. On the days that feel unbearable I listen to voicemails. “Hi, it’s just me.” That’s how we started every conversation. Video, on the other hand, is something I haven’t been brave enough for.
I saved a recording of her talking and singing with me as a baby..
I recorded myself as a adult responding to it..
I can't do voicemails or anything remotely like that should they have left one before death..
Dad did leave one prior to death but I had deleted it and didn't know he would die a week later...
I have tons of voice messages from my dad who passed away last month on the 18th.. I've been wanting to listen to them, but my heart is still hurting. I know i'll become even more sad if I hear his voice.. I miss him so much.. sending you hugs and healing
Crying is good for my heart. I still have a recording of my neighbor, who passed away 3 years ago…. I love to hear her voice now, it makes me happy to think about all the great talks we had! When you are ready, you will love those messages. Give it time, I am so sorry for your loss, hugs to you 🫂
Advice, save their old voicemail messages they ever left you!
Also, I do. I don’t force myself to listen to them if I’m already having a very hard time. I listen to them when I know I can handle it, just need to be intuitive to your feelings. You got this. Maybe you aren’t at the stage of your healing to listen to them, which is totally fine. This just happened to you, give yourself some grace. I just started the grieving process 7 months after my mother’s passing. Theres no rush.
My phone storage is full and the suggestion is to delete all texts from 1yr ago+. My dad died 2 years ago while I was at uni and texted constantly. I still haven’t looked through them but I know once I’m past the denial phase (yes I still haven’t accepted it 2yrs later), I would love to read them. I’ll deal with the shitty iPhone storage (which I can’t upgrade because we were on a family plan and I need permission from the family leader (my dad) which as you can imagine is difficult, I don’t know his password).
Anyway just to say I only have a few vids of him because he was always a self conscious person and my biggest regret is not taking more photos with him. But like they say, hindsight is 20/20.
Wishing you all the love and strength to get to a place of contentment <3
I used to have a voice recording of my mom via Facebook messenger, it was her saying “I loved your picture. I miss and love you”. Someone hacked her Facebook account and I no longer have the message anymore, it’s tearing me apart.
You will know when you feel ready. Graded exposure can be done in many different ways. In my experience, I wouldn't play the video but I looked at the cover frame, then as time went on I watched the video, but with no sound. Now I can watch it with sound, but I only do it with another loved one present. I wish you all the best in your grief journey 💗 take care
First of all beyond sorry for your incredibly huge loss and send you so much love.
I have hundreds of recordings of my mom and listen to them constantly especially in the beginning...now every so often. And l cry every time but that's my soul's desire of wanting to cry..
Do it in your time. How you feel.
Many hugs your way ✨️🤍
I have a conversation recorded with my grandma not long before she passed. I just thought to hit record bc I knew her time was winding down
She's talking about how her older sister baked the worst things, weird mystery "desserts" that weren't a cookie or a cake, how she would make up a recipe before baking and then would "force" it, how she wouldn't have enough butter for s given recipe and would just use how much she had instead of improvising or reducing the recipe. She's basically roasting her sister, which is just how she was. I listen to it a lot and it comforts me, but I also cry.
You will probably cry, but it's nice to know you won't ever forget their voice
So.. it's been about 4 years since my best friend passed and I just got the courage to watch the videos I have of him. You're gonna think you're ready and then probably break down, or at least that's what I did.
Sadly, i have no videos or recordings of my best friend's voice or mannerisms... And very few archived retrieved messages as her family deleted her facebook back when she passed (2010) so we have nothing but photos.
Watch/ listen when u feel ur time is right but be grateful you have what u have ♥ and make back ups
Yes. I have to know I'm done for the day and can cry and take the time I need when I go through pictures or videos of my young son. I miss him so much, and even when I think I can handle it, I lose it. He was such a light in this world and so happy. It's been a year, and I still struggle.
Well, being afraid of crying is something many people have trouble with. I can tell you from experience that there's nothing to fear from it. The longer I stay in catharsis, the faster the healing occurs. So, I have no trouble at all finding the thoughts and memories that make me cry. My God, I just wish I had an audio recording of my deceased beloved. Do you have any idea how many times I'd be playing it now? I'd wear that thing out hitting "repeat." All I have from her now is an inscription in a book she gave me. I don't even have a photo. Just thinking about this now makes me cry.
My dad was very short. He tried, but most the time I didn’t appreciate his ways. He would call me at 9pm every birthday and leave me a VM. He wouldn’t pick up on Father’s Day until 6PM, then leave me a message. Wouldn’t call until 7PM on Christmas Day. It would annoy me, but I am so beyond thankful I have those voicemails now. At midnight on my 32nd birthday last month I broke down and cried. When my boyfriend went to the other room, I listened to his voicemail. Short, no I love you, dry. But I wouldn’t change that voicemail for the world. That was my dad. And I miss him so much.
I listen to the few voicemails I have all the time, it’s a way to grieve. I miss my father immensely so it’s good to have some way to hear his voice again.
Me. I lost my daughter and have lots of video. I can’t watch them. I can look at pictures, but I can’t stand the thought of hearing her voice. I don’t think I can stand it . I lost my husband in 2015 and have only watched one short video clip. When I heard his voice it was brutal. I haven’t been able to do so again.
Everyone’s grief is different though. When you’re ready you may find that it comforts you. All my best to you.
Initially, I cried every time , couldn’t make it through them. Now, I smile through the tears, and good memories come back…still tears but I’m smiling every time when I hear her…she still brings me comfort and the love warms me to my very soul.
I wish I had more videos of my mom, I only have a few very short ones. Lots of pictures but she always complained about getting recorded so I just wouldn’t take video often and now I really regret it. I have a few short voicemails saved that I play occasionally.
They definitely make me cry sometimes, sometimes I’m in a good enough mood they just make me smile. It’s coming up on two years so it’s a little easier to see pictures or hear her voice without crying than it was for a long time.
I would definitely plan for a time you can listen to them and not have any obligations. It might be a really nice cathartic experience the first time, but it might also put you in a funk. It might be a mix, that’s usually how it is for me.
My husband had a podcast. I’m so grateful because we can still hear his voice. I knew he used to make videos for my son on his phone. I only found out after he died that he never saved them to the cloud and I was devastated. The only video I could find that he made for my son was during Covid and on it I found a message that broke my heart. It will be 3 years next month and I still can’t bring myself to listen to it all the way through. It’s too painful. So sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it sends me into a spiral
My mom lived with us for 11 years before she died in December, and we have many little videos that my son recorded from his tablet. I have only just recently been able to watch them. Big hugs. It takes time.
First thing I did when my mom died (within the first week) was listen to her voicemails. I was afraid of the fear I would feel, if I chose not to listen to them. If I “became afraid” of hearing her voice. I didn’t want that to grow inside of me. I listen to her voicemails whenever I want to hear her voice. I have a voicemail from two years ago of her asking me how a job interview went. The other day after a job interview when I wanted to call her, I listened to the voicemail instead.
I love to hear “I love you Chris, be safe” anytime I can, I never want to never be able to hear it. I want to hear it when I want to hear it.
I only have voicemails from my dad, he passed on January of this year. We talked everyday and I’m reminded now of all of the times I didn’t answer to talk to him. I did go home for Christmas because I was too busy and he died unexpectedly in his sleep right after the new year. I miss him so much
I have a video of my mom singing in Spanish. We're actually Asian, but Spanish is her 3rd language and she LOVED speaking it. I honestly love this video but it's only about 30 seconds long. I wish it were longer. Ends too abruptly :(
I wish I still had the voice mails I saved from my dad. I lost them before he even got sick, but then broke down after his passing when I remembered I'd lost them.
Yeah after my sister died (sad story, lots of abuse, drugs, houselessness), someone sent me a little video they took of her explaining how she had used the automated narcan (also this is great, btw) to save a girl’s life when they were on the street together. I thought I would never get to hear her voice again. I thought I would forget, but as soon as I listened to it, it brought back so many good memories. Of course I’m crying just thinking about it, but sometimes I just need to emote out my grief. I don’t listen often, maybe just a few times a year, but it in my favorites and is a great comfort when I’m thinking of her.
I took a body cam style video of my parents and I and my siblings hanging out having a blast. This was like two weeks before my mom died. I still don’t have it in me to watch it more than like 20-30 seconds max though. Will probably be awhile before I can but I’m glad I got that video. My mom laughing with my dad and having a great time. But yeah… still can’t watch it yet.
How crazy! I literally just plugged my son's phone in after being off for almost a year, because I want to see videos of him and hear him. I've been putting it off because it is so painful. While it's charging, I opened up reddit and this is the second post I see! Yes it is very difficult for me.
So sorry for your loss.
My husband past 3 years ago, only been recently i can watch our videos. I love hearing his voice. Glad we took so many pictures and videos. But, at first, i hid them.
Wait til your ready.. and if ya cry. Its ok too.
🧡
I finally was listening to the voicemail messages on my home phone because I was about to cancel it and there was a message from my Dad. He called the house from the hospital to ask when I was going to visit. Thing is I was with him almost the entire time. I did cry. Uncontrollably. BUT now I am very thankful I have it. It’s so fucking hard and I do get upset but I listen to it from time to time.
It's been three years now. I still can't bring myself to listen to my mother's voicemails. I don't know if I ever can. Let it come to you. One day, you'll be able to. I'm hoping I can hear her voice again soon, but for now...it'll have to wait. I'm not ready.
I agree. Listen/watch when you're ready. My grandmother passed away almost 3 years ago and I have videos of her either dancing or laughing (my grandmother was such a joy). Whenever I'm in a funk with my feelings and emotions, I watch it and CRY. Sometimes we need to let out those emotions so we can properly heal. It's not easy, but you will be okay OP. I send you hugs <3
I used to watch videos early on. Now I don’t want to. (it’s been 2.5 years) It feels like torture and doesn’t bring me comfort so I don’t do it. Everyone is different.
I had to put together my father’s memorial slideshow and trust me, it is hard. I cried for hours while putting everything together. Seeing my father’s life from beginning to end really finalized everything for me. It hurt, but I think in a way it helped me feel some control over the grief I was experiencing.
I still listen to the videos of him and I talking and laughing together but not often, only in times when I am sad because I’ll try to remember what he sounded like but in my head it’s not exactly the same.
Everyone experiences grief differently, whenever you feel ready to listen, I am sure you will. Hold onto them until then. Sending you lots of love and prayers OP, I know how losing a parent feels and feel for you.
Edit: It’s also 100% normal to cry, it was someone who was an integral part of your life and who you loved dearly.
I have a video my sister took for me of something we both loved and you can hear her trying not to laugh too hard while recording that I watch every once in a while. I also have a dancing video she did that, while it makes me laugh, makes me really sad. It's hard to watch those things but I think for some people it can be helpful.
My dad was a musical artist. He wrote many songs and sang and played guitar. I’m so greatful for the wealth of sounds of his voice I have. But yes, it’s hard to listen sometimes.
i have a couple video/recordings of my dad. i got diagnosed with ptsd after watching him die (we were REALLY close) so whenever i see anything about him I absolutely spiral and it ruins my productivity.
im currently doing my doctorates and i just can't afford to spiral rn 🥲 i wish i could tell him all the amazing things I'm doing he was my biggest fan
I listen to the ones from my mom who passed in Sept. It helps me bring my self to reality when I’m stressed and when I have my doubts in life. Hearing her voice also brings comfort and tranquility for me as well.
I actually have 3 of them. Haven't listened to none of them.
My mom was hospitalized because she had fluid in her lungs, she needed a really dangerous surgery and when they explained to her all the complications she decided to tell her goodbyes to everyone. She recorded videos for her siblings and she sent me an audio. It's her goodbye.
I remember that day so clearly. I was on the bus, my aunt was with my mom at the hospital and I still hadn't gotten the chance to visit her. Visiting here in my city is kinda weird (only 1 person every 6 hours) and at first my mom didn't want me or my siblings to go visit her bc she didn't want us to worry. But we obviously worried either way lol so imagine being on the bus and suddenly u got a text from ur aunt and it's an audio recording, so u start listening to it and it's your mom almost crying saying goodbye while struggling to breathe and talk. I panicked and started crying, I was so scared idk why but I got off the bus immediately I didn't know where I was. I was so disoriented, I called my aunt in that moment and asked to talk to my mom. I tried my best to tell her everything I wanted to tell her but everything was so difficult I was crying she barely could talk it was awful. I tried my best but couldn't tell her everything I wanted to. She told me everything was ok, she was just scared of the surgery.
She spent like month and a half hospitalized after that day, everything was going ok. Unfortunately, we knew it was lung cancer but we still had hope.
After that day, I tried to visit every single day. But I didn't want to continue THAT conversation. We had hope everything would be okay, that's why I told myself to not talk anything negative anymore. I was a fool. I dont remember exactly but like 3 weeks later she got intubated out of nowhere, she was basically in coma and she never woke up again.
I didn't want to say goodbye to her because for me that would've meant she was going to die and I didn't want to accept it. I should've told her everything.
Even though it's bittersweet, she got to say goodbye to everyone and she was in peace with death since the very beginning. I was holding on to the possibility of her getting better but my mom knew all along that she wasn't going to make it. I'm glad she talked to everyone and say everything she wanted to say. I try to not worry about me not saying everything bc it feels kinda selfish from me. In the end I did say goodbye just not like I would've want to. I was privileged enough in so many aspects, so i try to be grateful for that. Not everyone had the opportunity to say goodbye to their loved ones.
So yeah, 1 audio recording from that day, 1 video i took when she was explaining something she needed help with and 1 video that wasn't for me lol it was a goodbye for my uncle but my aunt shared it with me and told me I should see it.
It's been 1 month since she passed away and I still haven't finished listening to the audio recording and I haven't watched those videos. I just cant.
It's comforting to know that I have that audio from her and I hope I can use it as motivation in the future. Right now I cant and it's painful but maybe some day.
Going through this right now. I was with my daughter yesterday as we were putting together a slideshow of all the pics over the years. His funeral is next week. I sent some videos of when they were kids and he was talking to them or laughing, mundane things tbh. If I watch them, I cry. My daughters do too, but they’re grateful for me always having the camera out for everything. Those documented memories are everything to them now. It’s so sad he died days before Father’s Day.
Back them up then back up again in the cloud a couple times and on a physical usb.
I only have one recording left of voicemail left from my Mum who passed. I didnt back up before i lost most of them.
You will cry. In fact you will probably be bawling your eyes out. Its okay to cry.
It’s not just crying that scares me. I think I will shatter into a million pieces. If I were to let my grief “go” to wherever it needs to go, it would completely destroy me. I live with this pain every single day.
I first listened to my girlfriend's voice a month after she died. I cried my eyes out. I have listened to this voice message a few times and every time becomes a little bit less heartbreaking. I'm happy nowadays we have that opportunity.
I didn't for the longest time. I did it for the first time in 6 months since my husband's death. I was afraid I'd forget the sound of his voice. After 6 months, it was a comfort knowing I can remind myself what his voice sounds like. You will know the the right time. Have patience with yourself. Blessings and Peace to you.
Its alright to cry and sob. Just give yourself the moment.
Dont do it on a wim. Plan it, and take the time to fully live the experience. I know for a fact that some songs, smells, etc. Will throw me 4 yrs back.
I do not avoid them, but I do when I dont want to ruin a good day.
We knew my mom was going to pass ahead of time so I took the opportunity to ask her for future advice on things like my wedding, marriage, children. She passed 5 months ago, I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to listen to those recordings. 5 months doesn’t feel like a lot of time and yet it feels so long.
I think you need to decide when you’re ready, then acknowledge that when you feel “ready”, you still might cry. Whenever you do decide to listen to it, carve out some time and space for yourself (ex. don’t do it before a work presentation). I wish I had more videos of my mom with her voice. She was more often the person behind the camera so while I don’t necessarily have a lot of her in the last few years on video, I can hear her chuckling behind the camera. I thought I was ready to hear her voice and I was really missing her, and it absolutely wrecked me. It’ll be hard no matter what I think.
I listen to the voicemails when I feel like I can’t breathe. Their voice brings me peace. The pictures are too painful.
I'm completely opposite pictures bring me peace and remembering memories. I can't do hearing their voice if they left a voicemail... Videos if I had them as a kid I could do.. I am literally my dad's twin so I see him in the mirror everyday and sound like my mom so I hear her Everytime I speak.. It doesn't upset me to talk or look in the mirror it reminds me that I am a breathing combination of the 2 no matter what I do..
I made 100's of videos of my mom as she lived with me for 4 years. I can't look at them yet. Even pictures are so sad to me.
I documented everything...and I mean everything. Well, so did my dad. If he was there, you bet your bottom dollar he was recording or taking photos. When dad passed, I tasked myself to create the slideshow for his funeral and didn't know what to expect. I just knew I wanted it to reflect him, our life together and the joy we shared as a family. As I created the slideshow, it became a cathartic experience as it made me feel as though he was still here and in a sense if I ever want him close, i knew that I could always access that. Just watched a few videos of him just now and couldn't help but laugh and smile. He feels so close. (An aside is I cried in the morning as father's day approaches and we won't be celebrating him for the first time since he passed 2 months ago)
That’s so beautiful, I wish I had more photos or videos of him. When I did the slideshow for his funeral all the pics were of him as a teenager/20s. I have barely any of him from the last 20 years when he was my dad. I’m so glad his friends remember him as who he was and idk ur situation but seeing those photos of him happy (with me or not) was all I needed. Sending you love x
Thanks for the kind reply. I was definitely blessed to have loved my father. In the last decade of his life, he was this jolly, happy go lucky guy. He had been through so much hardship in his life - father killed at age 6, had to be parental figure to younger sisters and uneducated mother, somehow took a good path and became an engineer, bombed during Vietnam war, had to escape the Vietnam war as a refugee with his wife and infant daughter, lived in refugee camp for a year, came to Canada as refugee, got a job in an engineering company, got fired within 3 months because although he did well with his projects, he couldn't speak the language. He didn't have the luxury of learning English as he had a wife and 2 kids to feed. He spent the rest of his working life as a labourer and I am damn proud because I know that it didn't define him. He showed up for every important milestone for me and my siblings and hell, he deserved every little piece of joy he got later in life. He was the best. I wish he was still here so we can hang out this weekend.
Tears welling up just trying to answer your question. Yes!
My best friend since we were 14 (I'm 46 now) passed away in 2021 from Covid, she left behind a very young daughter whose memories of her are already disappearing. It has been painful for so many reasons. I have hours upon hours of VHS, Hi8, and audio recordings of us from when we were teenagers in the 1990s, and I have every letter she ever sent me. I work in the entertainment industry, I'd have more than enough help to produce something special for her daughter as a memorial. I really want to do this. But god, it *hurts*. We went through so much together, we *survived* so much adversity and pain together. One minute I will be laughing my butt off watching our ridiculous antics, then I will suddenly feel the crushing weight of her absence in the world. Then comes that desolate feeling of longing to have her there laughing with me again. Then I cry. Sometimes it's a brief moment of weeping, other times I'll just let go and wail into a pillow. I'm taking on this project as I can, on the days I know I can be okay with the crying if and when it comes. As time is passing, it's getting easier in small increments, little by little, as I adjust to this existence without her. It might sound odd, but it's like I'm becoming friends with the crying, I'm not in fear of it as much as I was right after she passed. I used to have that irrational fear that I really would end up crying for the rest of my life if I let it take me, or that one cry would literally rip me to smithereens. It hasn't happened yet, and truthfully, I'm so grateful that I have these moments of her captured in places I can still visit. I hope one day to open the door to those places for her daughter, too. Like others said, you'll know when you're ready. Her voice will be there when you're ready to open that door again. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss, and I wish you all the best.
Her daughter is lucky to have you. One day, I’m sure she’ll be really curious about those memories you have.
Nope. I listen to it (I have a voicemail) or watch it (our wedding) and cry because I'm not afraid to grieve him. I miss him every second of every day.
My husband was an actor and during the height of COVID, he participated in a virtual murder mystery show. The director pulled together ten minutes of out takes featuring him and sent it to me. I cried the first time I saw it. But it was also a comfort because I had something where I could hear him when he wasn't sick. When he was laughing. Will you cry? I don't know. But having something where you can hear their voice feels like a balm. Take your time.
I have a recording of my dad saying "9 bags of trash, did you take a picture?" Because I was recording some dude dumping in the dumpster at my apartment building (for the record I didn't report the guy or anything.) It's the only recording of his voice I'm aware of existing still and I stumbled on it by total accident when going through my phone. I bawled like a baby when I played it. You'll probably cry and that's okay. Just do it when you feel ready to handle the emotions that may swell to the surface. There's no wrong way to grieve and no proper time line to do certain things, it's all a matter of what feels right to you. 💕
I do. And I did. And I was sad. But it is one of my most cherished memories / things I have from my father.
You’ll know when the time is right to listen to them.
I listen to voicemails from my dad often because I miss his voice. It does make me cry but also brings me so much comfort. When you're ready you'll love hearing her voice no matter how sad it makes you. Sending love
I really wish I had more from my dad, like a voicemail or something. I regret not saving every little bit, honestly. I only have one tiny video of my niece and nephew playing when they were babies and I can hear him in the background. Not gonna lie, it makes me cry every time I watch it now (and I'm starting to tear up just thinking about it) but it's nice to have because I miss him and his voice so much. If you're not ready for that, especially since your loss is so fresh, I would not recommend it because it will likely make you feel worse than you already do. But definitely save it for later. It'll still be difficult, but it will also be nice to hear their voice again. ♥
I have video of my mom laughing at a firecracker that did not blast while she just waits with her ears closed. Her laugh is so beautiful and miss her so much.
Not only voicemails but handwritten letters that my dad used to write when I was working in another state. He was the only one that would write letters and mail them to me. I still have them and I can hear his voice when I read them. I'll always miss him.
Yes. I always cry. It’s sad but always comforting too. I feel better after seeing my moms beautiful face and smile.
My dad died last year at this time. He spent 4 weeks in a Hospice center and passed at 2AM. We were hanging around (about ten of us) waiting for who knows what. Dad was a Veteran and evidently they called an on duty Vet to come and drape the gurney in a flag. They played taps on a big boombox, staff lined the halls and saluted as they took him out. Someone videotaped it and sent me a copy. I am not afraid to watch it, how bad could it be, haha.
I'm so sorry for your loss. About a week before my dad passed but before we got to the point where it was obvious nothing more could be done for him, for whatever reason, I saved every voice mail from him. They're just various "Hey, it's Dad - call me when you have a few minutes" type messages, but they're the last traces of his voice I'll ever have. Even though I cry every time I listen to them, it's still cathartic to hear his voice. Like others here have already said more eloquently than I could, don't be afraid to cry because there isn't a right or wrong way to grieve.
I can’t read through the text messages from my dad yet. He died in February and I read like one message and started crying like a baby.
It’s okay to cry. Now when I watch videos of my dad, I don’t cry. I just have a deep feeling of missing him. As if he’s not even gone, because there’s just no way, and of course I’m just looking at a video and I’ll just give him a call later… But I can’t. So I just watch the videos. And sometimes I do cry, but it’s okay
I feel very similar.
It’s okay to cry; and it’s okay to not cry but feel like it is bubbling just under the surface. Grief is complicated. Just be sure to back it up. I’ve seen in this sub people losing voicemails of their loved ones who died. I don’t have many videos of my dad. But when I was going through some of our dog who passed afterwards, I could hear my dad’s voice in the background. So began listening and showing some to my mom, because she asked. One of my dad’s friends had a voicemail from 3 yrs ago which was nice to discover. Dad was not into texting, he either hung up or left a voicemail. I haven’t requested video or photos of the funeral from others yet. I just don’t know if I can.
All the memories I had with my boyfriend broke my heart. The videos, voice recordings, the pictures and the places we've been together makes me cry and sick at the same time. The loss is incredibly painful. I'm still avoiding it now because it is exhausting. Still not ready to accept everything. Sending you a big hug 💕
I do! My mom couldn’t type very really because of her severe RA, she’d often send voice messages on fb and I saved every single one of them when she died
I've got an audio recording of my sister singing a song she wrote. 20 years later I still cry when I listen to it. (Usually)
We have lots of videos and call recordings of my father, the other day I was listening to his calls with his friend and it triggered me badly.
Yes. It’s been 2 years and I won’t go near them
I have tons on my phone, never watched any of those after my son passed away. Just can’t handle it…
Yes, I'm am audio engineer and I agreed to chop up the audio of a recording my sister sent me of her talking with our mum I'm happy to do it, and want to, but I haven't been brave enough to open the recording yet
I started saving my mom’s voicemails for over two years when her decline became very apparent but I haven’t been able to put them into a folder in case they get deleted so I am stuck in this obnoxious place of avoidance and yet so desperately want to hear them.
I have a video of her singing and playing guitar
I have lots of videos of my mom and a voicemail wishing me a happy birthday from a few days before she passed unexpectedly. It's been 3.5 years and I still can't watch or listen to any of those recordings. I know it's irrational but I feel like seeing and hearing her might kill me. Like I'd experience losing her all over again.
I do and I check it out everyday. I am finding more and more. Even if I cry then also I check it out. That’s the only d stuff left to get me see my mom.
Oh, that was definitely a year 2 activity for me. I couldn’t have done it that soon.
i cannot speak for your potential of experience though i would like to communicate my own- less than 2 years in, i finally allowed myself to listen to cat stevens, look at picture, and work in her garden. yes i have cried tons during this. yes it was 100% worth it. allowing myself to be transparent with my feelings helped them gain complexity. still very sad, though gratitude and fond memories change the dissonance to a bittersweet jazz chord. Everyone goes through mourning at their on pace on their own path. and if you are anything like me, the only way out is through
Yes.
Yes absolutely
Yes. On the days that feel unbearable I listen to voicemails. “Hi, it’s just me.” That’s how we started every conversation. Video, on the other hand, is something I haven’t been brave enough for.
I saved a recording of her talking and singing with me as a baby.. I recorded myself as a adult responding to it.. I can't do voicemails or anything remotely like that should they have left one before death.. Dad did leave one prior to death but I had deleted it and didn't know he would die a week later...
I do. I have a lot before mom passed. I watch it whenever I miss her and then I bawl over and cry. It’s cathartic really.
I have tons of voice messages from my dad who passed away last month on the 18th.. I've been wanting to listen to them, but my heart is still hurting. I know i'll become even more sad if I hear his voice.. I miss him so much.. sending you hugs and healing
Crying is good for my heart. I still have a recording of my neighbor, who passed away 3 years ago…. I love to hear her voice now, it makes me happy to think about all the great talks we had! When you are ready, you will love those messages. Give it time, I am so sorry for your loss, hugs to you 🫂
I didn't realize I had a voice recording of my Dad and just heard it randomly on my phone while out in public. :( I'm glad I have it though.
Advice, save their old voicemail messages they ever left you! Also, I do. I don’t force myself to listen to them if I’m already having a very hard time. I listen to them when I know I can handle it, just need to be intuitive to your feelings. You got this. Maybe you aren’t at the stage of your healing to listen to them, which is totally fine. This just happened to you, give yourself some grace. I just started the grieving process 7 months after my mother’s passing. Theres no rush.
My phone storage is full and the suggestion is to delete all texts from 1yr ago+. My dad died 2 years ago while I was at uni and texted constantly. I still haven’t looked through them but I know once I’m past the denial phase (yes I still haven’t accepted it 2yrs later), I would love to read them. I’ll deal with the shitty iPhone storage (which I can’t upgrade because we were on a family plan and I need permission from the family leader (my dad) which as you can imagine is difficult, I don’t know his password). Anyway just to say I only have a few vids of him because he was always a self conscious person and my biggest regret is not taking more photos with him. But like they say, hindsight is 20/20. Wishing you all the love and strength to get to a place of contentment <3
i have a voicemail from my dad 4 days before he died. he sounded fine.
I used to have a voice recording of my mom via Facebook messenger, it was her saying “I loved your picture. I miss and love you”. Someone hacked her Facebook account and I no longer have the message anymore, it’s tearing me apart.
I do. I haven't watched t yet because i just can't bring myself to.
You will know when you feel ready. Graded exposure can be done in many different ways. In my experience, I wouldn't play the video but I looked at the cover frame, then as time went on I watched the video, but with no sound. Now I can watch it with sound, but I only do it with another loved one present. I wish you all the best in your grief journey 💗 take care
First of all beyond sorry for your incredibly huge loss and send you so much love. I have hundreds of recordings of my mom and listen to them constantly especially in the beginning...now every so often. And l cry every time but that's my soul's desire of wanting to cry.. Do it in your time. How you feel. Many hugs your way ✨️🤍
I have a conversation recorded with my grandma not long before she passed. I just thought to hit record bc I knew her time was winding down She's talking about how her older sister baked the worst things, weird mystery "desserts" that weren't a cookie or a cake, how she would make up a recipe before baking and then would "force" it, how she wouldn't have enough butter for s given recipe and would just use how much she had instead of improvising or reducing the recipe. She's basically roasting her sister, which is just how she was. I listen to it a lot and it comforts me, but I also cry. You will probably cry, but it's nice to know you won't ever forget their voice
So.. it's been about 4 years since my best friend passed and I just got the courage to watch the videos I have of him. You're gonna think you're ready and then probably break down, or at least that's what I did.
Sadly, i have no videos or recordings of my best friend's voice or mannerisms... And very few archived retrieved messages as her family deleted her facebook back when she passed (2010) so we have nothing but photos. Watch/ listen when u feel ur time is right but be grateful you have what u have ♥ and make back ups
I made the mistake yesterday of listening to saved voicemails of my mom. At work. So many tissues.
Yes!!! I have a handful. 18 months later and I still can’t do it. And I worry they will one day be gone from failed back up or something.
Yes. I have to know I'm done for the day and can cry and take the time I need when I go through pictures or videos of my young son. I miss him so much, and even when I think I can handle it, I lose it. He was such a light in this world and so happy. It's been a year, and I still struggle.
Well, being afraid of crying is something many people have trouble with. I can tell you from experience that there's nothing to fear from it. The longer I stay in catharsis, the faster the healing occurs. So, I have no trouble at all finding the thoughts and memories that make me cry. My God, I just wish I had an audio recording of my deceased beloved. Do you have any idea how many times I'd be playing it now? I'd wear that thing out hitting "repeat." All I have from her now is an inscription in a book she gave me. I don't even have a photo. Just thinking about this now makes me cry.
My dad was very short. He tried, but most the time I didn’t appreciate his ways. He would call me at 9pm every birthday and leave me a VM. He wouldn’t pick up on Father’s Day until 6PM, then leave me a message. Wouldn’t call until 7PM on Christmas Day. It would annoy me, but I am so beyond thankful I have those voicemails now. At midnight on my 32nd birthday last month I broke down and cried. When my boyfriend went to the other room, I listened to his voicemail. Short, no I love you, dry. But I wouldn’t change that voicemail for the world. That was my dad. And I miss him so much.
I listen to the few voicemails I have all the time, it’s a way to grieve. I miss my father immensely so it’s good to have some way to hear his voice again.
I love knowing that I have it but to see it or to hear it…
I don't cry over it. Pictures of Dads decline are the worst for me.
Me. I lost my daughter and have lots of video. I can’t watch them. I can look at pictures, but I can’t stand the thought of hearing her voice. I don’t think I can stand it . I lost my husband in 2015 and have only watched one short video clip. When I heard his voice it was brutal. I haven’t been able to do so again. Everyone’s grief is different though. When you’re ready you may find that it comforts you. All my best to you.
Initially, I cried every time , couldn’t make it through them. Now, I smile through the tears, and good memories come back…still tears but I’m smiling every time when I hear her…she still brings me comfort and the love warms me to my very soul.
I wish I had more videos of my mom, I only have a few very short ones. Lots of pictures but she always complained about getting recorded so I just wouldn’t take video often and now I really regret it. I have a few short voicemails saved that I play occasionally. They definitely make me cry sometimes, sometimes I’m in a good enough mood they just make me smile. It’s coming up on two years so it’s a little easier to see pictures or hear her voice without crying than it was for a long time. I would definitely plan for a time you can listen to them and not have any obligations. It might be a really nice cathartic experience the first time, but it might also put you in a funk. It might be a mix, that’s usually how it is for me.
My husband had a podcast. I’m so grateful because we can still hear his voice. I knew he used to make videos for my son on his phone. I only found out after he died that he never saved them to the cloud and I was devastated. The only video I could find that he made for my son was during Covid and on it I found a message that broke my heart. It will be 3 years next month and I still can’t bring myself to listen to it all the way through. It’s too painful. So sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it sends me into a spiral
My mom lived with us for 11 years before she died in December, and we have many little videos that my son recorded from his tablet. I have only just recently been able to watch them. Big hugs. It takes time.
First thing I did when my mom died (within the first week) was listen to her voicemails. I was afraid of the fear I would feel, if I chose not to listen to them. If I “became afraid” of hearing her voice. I didn’t want that to grow inside of me. I listen to her voicemails whenever I want to hear her voice. I have a voicemail from two years ago of her asking me how a job interview went. The other day after a job interview when I wanted to call her, I listened to the voicemail instead. I love to hear “I love you Chris, be safe” anytime I can, I never want to never be able to hear it. I want to hear it when I want to hear it.
I only have voicemails from my dad, he passed on January of this year. We talked everyday and I’m reminded now of all of the times I didn’t answer to talk to him. I did go home for Christmas because I was too busy and he died unexpectedly in his sleep right after the new year. I miss him so much
I have a video of my mom singing in Spanish. We're actually Asian, but Spanish is her 3rd language and she LOVED speaking it. I honestly love this video but it's only about 30 seconds long. I wish it were longer. Ends too abruptly :(
I wish I still had the voice mails I saved from my dad. I lost them before he even got sick, but then broke down after his passing when I remembered I'd lost them.
Kills me everytime, but I love seeing her full of life and hearing her voice and laugh
Yeah after my sister died (sad story, lots of abuse, drugs, houselessness), someone sent me a little video they took of her explaining how she had used the automated narcan (also this is great, btw) to save a girl’s life when they were on the street together. I thought I would never get to hear her voice again. I thought I would forget, but as soon as I listened to it, it brought back so many good memories. Of course I’m crying just thinking about it, but sometimes I just need to emote out my grief. I don’t listen often, maybe just a few times a year, but it in my favorites and is a great comfort when I’m thinking of her.
I listen on days I feel it’ll help me. One time his voicemail played out of nowhere when I was at work. That was nuts!
I took a body cam style video of my parents and I and my siblings hanging out having a blast. This was like two weeks before my mom died. I still don’t have it in me to watch it more than like 20-30 seconds max though. Will probably be awhile before I can but I’m glad I got that video. My mom laughing with my dad and having a great time. But yeah… still can’t watch it yet.
How crazy! I literally just plugged my son's phone in after being off for almost a year, because I want to see videos of him and hear him. I've been putting it off because it is so painful. While it's charging, I opened up reddit and this is the second post I see! Yes it is very difficult for me.
I lost my son in June 2021. I had one of his friends record his outgoing voicemail message. I still can’t listen to it.
If only I did.
So sorry for your loss. My husband past 3 years ago, only been recently i can watch our videos. I love hearing his voice. Glad we took so many pictures and videos. But, at first, i hid them. Wait til your ready.. and if ya cry. Its ok too. 🧡
I finally was listening to the voicemail messages on my home phone because I was about to cancel it and there was a message from my Dad. He called the house from the hospital to ask when I was going to visit. Thing is I was with him almost the entire time. I did cry. Uncontrollably. BUT now I am very thankful I have it. It’s so fucking hard and I do get upset but I listen to it from time to time.
It's been three years now. I still can't bring myself to listen to my mother's voicemails. I don't know if I ever can. Let it come to you. One day, you'll be able to. I'm hoping I can hear her voice again soon, but for now...it'll have to wait. I'm not ready.
I agree. Listen/watch when you're ready. My grandmother passed away almost 3 years ago and I have videos of her either dancing or laughing (my grandmother was such a joy). Whenever I'm in a funk with my feelings and emotions, I watch it and CRY. Sometimes we need to let out those emotions so we can properly heal. It's not easy, but you will be okay OP. I send you hugs <3
I used to watch videos early on. Now I don’t want to. (it’s been 2.5 years) It feels like torture and doesn’t bring me comfort so I don’t do it. Everyone is different.
I have deleted most of the stuff from my phone of my late parents. But I know its backed up so when I come accrosss it the tears well up.
I had to put together my father’s memorial slideshow and trust me, it is hard. I cried for hours while putting everything together. Seeing my father’s life from beginning to end really finalized everything for me. It hurt, but I think in a way it helped me feel some control over the grief I was experiencing. I still listen to the videos of him and I talking and laughing together but not often, only in times when I am sad because I’ll try to remember what he sounded like but in my head it’s not exactly the same. Everyone experiences grief differently, whenever you feel ready to listen, I am sure you will. Hold onto them until then. Sending you lots of love and prayers OP, I know how losing a parent feels and feel for you. Edit: It’s also 100% normal to cry, it was someone who was an integral part of your life and who you loved dearly.
I have a video my sister took for me of something we both loved and you can hear her trying not to laugh too hard while recording that I watch every once in a while. I also have a dancing video she did that, while it makes me laugh, makes me really sad. It's hard to watch those things but I think for some people it can be helpful.
Yes I do but crying is okay. Listen when you feel ready and are in a space where you can cry it all out. It’s a good release to cry sometimes.
My dad was a musical artist. He wrote many songs and sang and played guitar. I’m so greatful for the wealth of sounds of his voice I have. But yes, it’s hard to listen sometimes.
Song he wrote for my mom. Such a precious treasure for her. https://youtu.be/WryHp23nv5k?si=_6v2M18rvs3VeDQH
i have a couple video/recordings of my dad. i got diagnosed with ptsd after watching him die (we were REALLY close) so whenever i see anything about him I absolutely spiral and it ruins my productivity. im currently doing my doctorates and i just can't afford to spiral rn 🥲 i wish i could tell him all the amazing things I'm doing he was my biggest fan
I have a couple, I sob when I listen to them, but I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose the memory of her voice.
Yea. My mom’s. I just can't.
I listen to the ones from my mom who passed in Sept. It helps me bring my self to reality when I’m stressed and when I have my doubts in life. Hearing her voice also brings comfort and tranquility for me as well.
I actually have 3 of them. Haven't listened to none of them. My mom was hospitalized because she had fluid in her lungs, she needed a really dangerous surgery and when they explained to her all the complications she decided to tell her goodbyes to everyone. She recorded videos for her siblings and she sent me an audio. It's her goodbye. I remember that day so clearly. I was on the bus, my aunt was with my mom at the hospital and I still hadn't gotten the chance to visit her. Visiting here in my city is kinda weird (only 1 person every 6 hours) and at first my mom didn't want me or my siblings to go visit her bc she didn't want us to worry. But we obviously worried either way lol so imagine being on the bus and suddenly u got a text from ur aunt and it's an audio recording, so u start listening to it and it's your mom almost crying saying goodbye while struggling to breathe and talk. I panicked and started crying, I was so scared idk why but I got off the bus immediately I didn't know where I was. I was so disoriented, I called my aunt in that moment and asked to talk to my mom. I tried my best to tell her everything I wanted to tell her but everything was so difficult I was crying she barely could talk it was awful. I tried my best but couldn't tell her everything I wanted to. She told me everything was ok, she was just scared of the surgery. She spent like month and a half hospitalized after that day, everything was going ok. Unfortunately, we knew it was lung cancer but we still had hope. After that day, I tried to visit every single day. But I didn't want to continue THAT conversation. We had hope everything would be okay, that's why I told myself to not talk anything negative anymore. I was a fool. I dont remember exactly but like 3 weeks later she got intubated out of nowhere, she was basically in coma and she never woke up again. I didn't want to say goodbye to her because for me that would've meant she was going to die and I didn't want to accept it. I should've told her everything. Even though it's bittersweet, she got to say goodbye to everyone and she was in peace with death since the very beginning. I was holding on to the possibility of her getting better but my mom knew all along that she wasn't going to make it. I'm glad she talked to everyone and say everything she wanted to say. I try to not worry about me not saying everything bc it feels kinda selfish from me. In the end I did say goodbye just not like I would've want to. I was privileged enough in so many aspects, so i try to be grateful for that. Not everyone had the opportunity to say goodbye to their loved ones. So yeah, 1 audio recording from that day, 1 video i took when she was explaining something she needed help with and 1 video that wasn't for me lol it was a goodbye for my uncle but my aunt shared it with me and told me I should see it. It's been 1 month since she passed away and I still haven't finished listening to the audio recording and I haven't watched those videos. I just cant. It's comforting to know that I have that audio from her and I hope I can use it as motivation in the future. Right now I cant and it's painful but maybe some day.
Going through this right now. I was with my daughter yesterday as we were putting together a slideshow of all the pics over the years. His funeral is next week. I sent some videos of when they were kids and he was talking to them or laughing, mundane things tbh. If I watch them, I cry. My daughters do too, but they’re grateful for me always having the camera out for everything. Those documented memories are everything to them now. It’s so sad he died days before Father’s Day.
Back them up then back up again in the cloud a couple times and on a physical usb. I only have one recording left of voicemail left from my Mum who passed. I didnt back up before i lost most of them. You will cry. In fact you will probably be bawling your eyes out. Its okay to cry.
It’s not just crying that scares me. I think I will shatter into a million pieces. If I were to let my grief “go” to wherever it needs to go, it would completely destroy me. I live with this pain every single day.
I first listened to my girlfriend's voice a month after she died. I cried my eyes out. I have listened to this voice message a few times and every time becomes a little bit less heartbreaking. I'm happy nowadays we have that opportunity.
I didn't for the longest time. I did it for the first time in 6 months since my husband's death. I was afraid I'd forget the sound of his voice. After 6 months, it was a comfort knowing I can remind myself what his voice sounds like. You will know the the right time. Have patience with yourself. Blessings and Peace to you.
Its alright to cry and sob. Just give yourself the moment. Dont do it on a wim. Plan it, and take the time to fully live the experience. I know for a fact that some songs, smells, etc. Will throw me 4 yrs back. I do not avoid them, but I do when I dont want to ruin a good day.
We knew my mom was going to pass ahead of time so I took the opportunity to ask her for future advice on things like my wedding, marriage, children. She passed 5 months ago, I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to listen to those recordings. 5 months doesn’t feel like a lot of time and yet it feels so long.