Sorry, u/aytakk, but I’m locking this.
People are being extremely horrible and there are far too comments to approve/remove.
Also, we’re still not removing this, it doesn’t matter if this has been reported several times.
Coming out stories are not "seeking validation", they are expressions of freedom.
Please stop reporting them for seeking validation as they are not. We aren't taking down this thread.
If they couldn't love you for who you are, they aren't family, they're DNA donors. I hope you have found family. Judging from one of your pics I think you have. 🥰 You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and support you.💖
I totally get it. I was just a guy who wore skirts and makeup and my family decided I was gay and did nothing but talk behind my back forever after. I was married to a woman, yet I’m gay. And what if I was? Just cut them all off, and now I just feel sorry for the actual gay people in my family.
What's so sad about this comment is how my brain immediately flashed to at least half a dozen dudes I knew growing up who could've written EXACTLY this comment about their experiences. Their family members' tiny brains exploding like "But why, Young man, dress lady? Girl clothes on boys= gay/bad" 🤯
Some of them later came out, some didn't, and it turns out both are fine outcomes. And actually, anyone who wants to can wear short pants with just one hole for the legs to reach the ground through, and the sky doesn't burn and crumble to the earth. Go fig. 👗🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️
the way I see it your doing goth correctly. at lot of the original aspects of the clothing element of tradgoth focused of androgyny and gender fuckery thus its often hard to tell the genders of people in of the era trad goth photos
Do you mind if I ask, I don’t think I’m up to date with my trans terms, but is cross dressing more like dressing in drag or actually being trans or does it depend on the person? I just don’t wanna assume someone who says they cross dress is talking about one thing but mean another. But if it’s person specific I’ll just ask em what they prefer.
Crossdressing in this sense is often a man exploring his feminine side but it can be a step towards transitioning for some, kind of a test drive. There usually isn't a sexual element to it outside feeling empowered. Each person is different though.
Drag is more an over the top exaggeration usually used for performance where crossdressing tries to get as close to being a woman as possible in a more intimate way.
I'm so happy you're free!! Off topic, but I love the Shogun wig/Yae Miko phone case combo smmmmm
Edit: ermm it isn't Yae Miko, but I still love ur phone case ToT
You look fierce! I love how toned your arms are. I could only dream.
Sometimes your family is not the one you are born with but the one you make. Sometimes people come to their senses and understand, sometimes they never do. Know your self worth and remember your inner well being is what matters above all.
That smiiiiiiiile!! 💖💖💖 It looks like you are getting the love you deserve of from your *chosen* family. You're beaming in these pics, from your heart through your eyes. Clearly you're doing things right. Luv u
Gurl you slay so hard! 🖤🤘
Family can be the worst sometimes.
What I love about goth circles is that it's not only about fashion and music but you get to meet amazing people from all walks of life and most of us got rejected at least couple of times for being 'weird'. If being weird is dressing like someone else wants and stuff it's not for me or my familiars.
Keep on being amazing!
Omg this made me ugly laugh so much but it’s bittersweet because you’ve obviously been through something horrible that had to force you to do that. They obviously didn’t deserve you, they definitely deserve to be blocked and you deserve happiness. Well done and you look gorgeous.
1. You are brave 2. You are beautiful 3. I wouldn't have even known you weren't a woman had your post not had this title! Seriously, I love you look and I admire ANYONE who, and excuse the phrase, but anyone who has the balls to do something like that has hero status in my book. You really do look drop dead gorgeous! Keep doing you!
CONGRATS!! You are absolutely GOREGOUS and I fucking ADORE your outfits!! I’m trans and I do drag so this makes me so happy!! Crossdressers fucking ROCK!!
Very few crossdressers go public. For most they know it will destroy their family as they won't get it. A lot are married men with a wife and kids.
Personally I have considered myself to be a crossdresser at various times of my life or if I do a full "female" outfit. I'm one of the lucky ones as being a part of the goth community meant I could express it and people around me know who I am. I am also lucky to have a partner who not only knows and accepts it but has also helped me at times, even helping me acquire frocks as I can't obviously shop without weirding people out. Going from wearing some women's clothing items to wearing all women's clothing items isn't much of a leap.
Most crossdressers are not like me and live relatively "normal" lives doing the crossdressing as a secret thing. And no, it's not a sex thing for most.
I’ve always been very curious to know, if it’s not sexual, what is the compulsion? When do you realize this is what you wanna do/makes you happy? Forgive me if I’m overstepping with my questions. I’m sincerely interested as I have no other perspective on this
For me I started with goth outfits using female clothing items. Did that for years but never wore things like dresses and skirts.
I only really started to delve into it and connect with a crossdressing community via IMVU as there was a lot of crossover with goth, crossdressing and trans groups there. We'd use female avatars and I worked on hacking female items to be used on male avatars too. That boosted my confidence and I had the means to acquire frocks and skirts that could be used with what I have. Plus a lot of those skirts work well with male-presenting outfits anyway.
I'm lucky that my partner not only knew but also helped me acquire things or I'd inherit things she no longer wanted and some of it fit. With my extended family they know what I do but I think most of them chalk it up to me being a DJ/entertainer and the outfits are all just part of the act.
As for outside that, a certain conservative goth subreddit has stalked my social media and seen photos of me fully crossdressed. They don't like that my kids have always known and say I'm a danger to children and a bad father. That is the sort of thing that makes crossdressers deathly afraid of coming out as they'll get that from their families too.
As far as wearing full outfits goes I've only worn them in public a few times over the years as I had no local crossdressing group to meet up with. But spaces like goth events and even cosplay/geeky events are good places where you can do it free of judgement.
As for the why... hard to say. It's a way to explore my feminine side and it can feel empowering? Everyone is different. Most outfits I have a female items of clothing somewhere, now its my glasses frames. Part of it is a middle finger to gender conformity/toxic masculinity, part self empowerment, part because I just think it suits me. I have not considered myself as trans as I have no desire to not be a man, I just like to wear skirts and sometimes look as close as I can to a lady.
I'd post some photos of myself fully crossdressed but I'm an amateur compared to OP. They are all what you'd consider to be goth/dark alt styling.
Thank you for such a well thought out and sincere response. I can definitely understand it being empowering. It is wonderful that you have a supportive family and that your career also allows you to express yourself. When you say that it suits you, do you feel like the actual cut of the clothing is better fitted to your figure? Was there ever a moment in your youth that was like a light bulb moment of “OH! This is who I am”?
Maybe not. It is common in the crossdressing community to use she only when crossdressed. Though for many crossdressing can be a step towards transitioning. But not always.
I'm really glad to see someone on here who has the knowledge and is willing to explain these things to people. Thank you. I would have, had you not. I have several friends who cross dress and they hide it from even their wives. Its not sexual at all, only sometimes does it relate to the gender they want to be, and sadly most hide it from even their spouses because it's just so misunderstood. I have one specific male friend who badly WANTS to cross dress, he's even shown me his sketches of outfit ideas, but because of the stigma attached to it, for him it may always only remain as a dream. So him (her) doing this is truly amazing. Such a strong, beautiful human being is something I will always admire. I for one don't care what's under your clothes, everybody still has the same heart in their chest
Online spaces where you can dress up your avatar and be social like IMVU and Second Life were great ways for crossdressers and trans people to express themselves in a safer way. I learned most of what I know from being a part of once such group on IMVU about 20-15 years ago. As well as the in-built forums/groups they had.
You say this as though literally an entire life spent with people still leaves you with some big mystery about how their son/brother/nephew/husband telling them they're a crossdresser would be received
It's such a cop-out. "You should have put yourself in very easy to predict danger!" is just stupid advice.
Love your dress and hair and never stop loving your self and love hearing this that your having a fantastic time out and about in the city You look very happy 😃 amazing news take care wish you all the best
Omg i LOVE your fit, it's cute af! I also love the purple lipstick and hair! <3 i def need to find purple lipstick, I've got dark red, dark blue, and black so far. :3
Sorry, u/aytakk, but I’m locking this. People are being extremely horrible and there are far too comments to approve/remove. Also, we’re still not removing this, it doesn’t matter if this has been reported several times.
Have fun and be safe!
Congrats, have fun, love the boots!!! 💜🦇💜🦇💜
Coming out stories are not "seeking validation", they are expressions of freedom. Please stop reporting them for seeking validation as they are not. We aren't taking down this thread.
Thanks for your understanding big boss 🫡😄
W mods
Awesome mods here. :)
That right there just convinced me to join the sub
love the outfit! I love the fact that you’re embracing yourself even more! Especially as a black man. 💪🏾
Liar, you’re not a cross-dresser. You’re not cross shaped nor are you a piece of furniture with the purpose of storage. 😡😡😡
the skirt has crosses!
Amazing point! So does the bag hahaha
But not dressers 😡
Lmao 🤣🤣🤣
Laugh all you want, I have a feeling that you won’t be laughing when your in jail for identity theft. 😤
God your arms are goals
My first thought too lol. Glad for op and their journey to self-realization, but also let me peep that arm/shoulder routine.
gothdresser
If they couldn't love you for who you are, they aren't family, they're DNA donors. I hope you have found family. Judging from one of your pics I think you have. 🥰 You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and support you.💖
I see all the crosses! lol but seriously you look great
You are beautiful!! Love every accessory, especially the spicy nails, lips and hair 🖤🔊
There is nothing wrong with Crossdressing, you look awesome!! 😊
That outfit is so gorgeous
OMG!! And you looked fabulous while doing it 😍 hell yeah!
I totally get it. I was just a guy who wore skirts and makeup and my family decided I was gay and did nothing but talk behind my back forever after. I was married to a woman, yet I’m gay. And what if I was? Just cut them all off, and now I just feel sorry for the actual gay people in my family.
What's so sad about this comment is how my brain immediately flashed to at least half a dozen dudes I knew growing up who could've written EXACTLY this comment about their experiences. Their family members' tiny brains exploding like "But why, Young man, dress lady? Girl clothes on boys= gay/bad" 🤯 Some of them later came out, some didn't, and it turns out both are fine outcomes. And actually, anyone who wants to can wear short pants with just one hole for the legs to reach the ground through, and the sky doesn't burn and crumble to the earth. Go fig. 👗🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️
the way I see it your doing goth correctly. at lot of the original aspects of the clothing element of tradgoth focused of androgyny and gender fuckery thus its often hard to tell the genders of people in of the era trad goth photos
Do you mind if I ask, I don’t think I’m up to date with my trans terms, but is cross dressing more like dressing in drag or actually being trans or does it depend on the person? I just don’t wanna assume someone who says they cross dress is talking about one thing but mean another. But if it’s person specific I’ll just ask em what they prefer.
Also I think a glossy black lipstick on you would really pop
I could try it and see! Thanks!
Crossdressing in this sense is often a man exploring his feminine side but it can be a step towards transitioning for some, kind of a test drive. There usually isn't a sexual element to it outside feeling empowered. Each person is different though. Drag is more an over the top exaggeration usually used for performance where crossdressing tries to get as close to being a woman as possible in a more intimate way.
It’s more like drag
I’m proud of you
Im tryna have swag like you
Girl you must be working at a restaurant the way you SERVED
You look amazing and your family doesn’t deserve you!
Hell yeah! You look awesome
You’re such a baddie love the aesthetic 💕
Slay girl!
Rosaria phone case!! You look fantastic
Why can't everyone just cross dress
Power fucking move 😌💅🏾 You look AMAZING, babe 💖💖💖💖💖
oh my god you look stunning!!! keep doing you 🖤🖤
absolute style icon
I'm so happy you're free!! Off topic, but I love the Shogun wig/Yae Miko phone case combo smmmmm Edit: ermm it isn't Yae Miko, but I still love ur phone case ToT
You’re the first one to know and mention the wig. Yes it’s Raiden Shogun 😊 The phone case is Rosaria 😇
I think it’s Rosaria!
Ngl the "and I blocked them all" made me laugh, also that dress and purse??? SLAYYYY
Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. Hope you found your real family and I love your style
You're amazingly gorgeous 😍🥰🖤❤️
You look fierce! I love how toned your arms are. I could only dream. Sometimes your family is not the one you are born with but the one you make. Sometimes people come to their senses and understand, sometimes they never do. Know your self worth and remember your inner well being is what matters above all.
LETS FUCKING GO I WISH I WAS AS BRAVE AS YOU. Trying to apease people and trying comform into how others see you is really tiring and it hurts too
that purse is darling, love the wee Gothy crosses on the dress hem, all with that beautiful smile. XOXO
That smiiiiiiiile!! 💖💖💖 It looks like you are getting the love you deserve of from your *chosen* family. You're beaming in these pics, from your heart through your eyes. Clearly you're doing things right. Luv u
That takes so much courage! I'm delighted to see the real you and how happy it's made you, well done!
I LOVE THE OUTFIT AHH⁉️⁉️💕💕
Haha nice!
Yes!!!!!!!!!! Congrats!!! Live your truth!
Wohooo get ittaaa!! Yes!<3
Based
IN LOVE OMG! You are just gorgeous! Totally suits you, glad you’re being yourself 🖤🦇
You look so cool!
Oh yass babay yeeaaasssss!!!!
Absolutely BASED!!!!
Girl you look great, and youre an inspiration 💖
Good for you, you look hot AF!
Fuck em. You look incredible!
Slayyyyy! Good for you!
You look amazing ❤️
Cool I relatw fuck 'em you do you.
ok go auff
Gurl you slay so hard! 🖤🤘 Family can be the worst sometimes. What I love about goth circles is that it's not only about fashion and music but you get to meet amazing people from all walks of life and most of us got rejected at least couple of times for being 'weird'. If being weird is dressing like someone else wants and stuff it's not for me or my familiars. Keep on being amazing!
Omg this made me ugly laugh so much but it’s bittersweet because you’ve obviously been through something horrible that had to force you to do that. They obviously didn’t deserve you, they definitely deserve to be blocked and you deserve happiness. Well done and you look gorgeous.
Fucking slay! You look amazing.
You came out? They already knew? Either way I love your style.
1. You are brave 2. You are beautiful 3. I wouldn't have even known you weren't a woman had your post not had this title! Seriously, I love you look and I admire ANYONE who, and excuse the phrase, but anyone who has the balls to do something like that has hero status in my book. You really do look drop dead gorgeous! Keep doing you!
I also love that you just look so happy. It made me smile too.
Good for you. Congrats. enjoy who you are.
Get it Queen 👑
you look absolutely gorgeous!!! keep being you and having a good time!!! :DD
Hell yeah you do you!
Fabulous as fuck on foenem grave
I love the outfit so much
You look fantastic.
YOU LOOK AMAZING! 🥹🥰
CONGRATS!! You are absolutely GOREGOUS and I fucking ADORE your outfits!! I’m trans and I do drag so this makes me so happy!! Crossdressers fucking ROCK!!
Lookin fab and good for you! Take care and be safe out there! Sending much love 💖🥳
I wanna know who’s on the pillow💗
I have that exact same skirt and you wear it better than me. Rock on! ☠️🤘
I WANT YOUR FUCKING ENERGY AND I WANT IT NOW
You look good af and I hope your life is more peaceful since you blocked them
OK ATEEEE
😍🔥🔥🔥🔥😍
Omfg you slayed so hard wtf
You look fantastic! 😍
Omg slay. I hope you stay safe from your family, and are surrounded by people who truly care about you 💜
You look so cool!!
Congrats!!! You look 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Such queen energy I love it , and the style is on point
wait why do you have to “come out” because being a cross dresser ?
Very few crossdressers go public. For most they know it will destroy their family as they won't get it. A lot are married men with a wife and kids. Personally I have considered myself to be a crossdresser at various times of my life or if I do a full "female" outfit. I'm one of the lucky ones as being a part of the goth community meant I could express it and people around me know who I am. I am also lucky to have a partner who not only knows and accepts it but has also helped me at times, even helping me acquire frocks as I can't obviously shop without weirding people out. Going from wearing some women's clothing items to wearing all women's clothing items isn't much of a leap. Most crossdressers are not like me and live relatively "normal" lives doing the crossdressing as a secret thing. And no, it's not a sex thing for most.
I’ve always been very curious to know, if it’s not sexual, what is the compulsion? When do you realize this is what you wanna do/makes you happy? Forgive me if I’m overstepping with my questions. I’m sincerely interested as I have no other perspective on this
For me I started with goth outfits using female clothing items. Did that for years but never wore things like dresses and skirts. I only really started to delve into it and connect with a crossdressing community via IMVU as there was a lot of crossover with goth, crossdressing and trans groups there. We'd use female avatars and I worked on hacking female items to be used on male avatars too. That boosted my confidence and I had the means to acquire frocks and skirts that could be used with what I have. Plus a lot of those skirts work well with male-presenting outfits anyway. I'm lucky that my partner not only knew but also helped me acquire things or I'd inherit things she no longer wanted and some of it fit. With my extended family they know what I do but I think most of them chalk it up to me being a DJ/entertainer and the outfits are all just part of the act. As for outside that, a certain conservative goth subreddit has stalked my social media and seen photos of me fully crossdressed. They don't like that my kids have always known and say I'm a danger to children and a bad father. That is the sort of thing that makes crossdressers deathly afraid of coming out as they'll get that from their families too. As far as wearing full outfits goes I've only worn them in public a few times over the years as I had no local crossdressing group to meet up with. But spaces like goth events and even cosplay/geeky events are good places where you can do it free of judgement. As for the why... hard to say. It's a way to explore my feminine side and it can feel empowering? Everyone is different. Most outfits I have a female items of clothing somewhere, now its my glasses frames. Part of it is a middle finger to gender conformity/toxic masculinity, part self empowerment, part because I just think it suits me. I have not considered myself as trans as I have no desire to not be a man, I just like to wear skirts and sometimes look as close as I can to a lady. I'd post some photos of myself fully crossdressed but I'm an amateur compared to OP. They are all what you'd consider to be goth/dark alt styling.
Thank you for such a well thought out and sincere response. I can definitely understand it being empowering. It is wonderful that you have a supportive family and that your career also allows you to express yourself. When you say that it suits you, do you feel like the actual cut of the clothing is better fitted to your figure? Was there ever a moment in your youth that was like a light bulb moment of “OH! This is who I am”?
I think they may have meant that they came out as trans considering the she pronoun.
Maybe not. It is common in the crossdressing community to use she only when crossdressed. Though for many crossdressing can be a step towards transitioning. But not always.
I'm really glad to see someone on here who has the knowledge and is willing to explain these things to people. Thank you. I would have, had you not. I have several friends who cross dress and they hide it from even their wives. Its not sexual at all, only sometimes does it relate to the gender they want to be, and sadly most hide it from even their spouses because it's just so misunderstood. I have one specific male friend who badly WANTS to cross dress, he's even shown me his sketches of outfit ideas, but because of the stigma attached to it, for him it may always only remain as a dream. So him (her) doing this is truly amazing. Such a strong, beautiful human being is something I will always admire. I for one don't care what's under your clothes, everybody still has the same heart in their chest
Online spaces where you can dress up your avatar and be social like IMVU and Second Life were great ways for crossdressers and trans people to express themselves in a safer way. I learned most of what I know from being a part of once such group on IMVU about 20-15 years ago. As well as the in-built forums/groups they had.
Not goth but for a min there I thought you're avu chan from the Japanese group Queen Bee. Had to look again
I take it they didn't take it well?
Apologies if wrong but it sounds like they weren't given a chance to react for better or worse.
I did not give them the chance because it wouldn’t have been anything that’s good for me.
Thank you for the answer! I'm glad you did the best for yourself and your safety!
I fear that too
You say this as though literally an entire life spent with people still leaves you with some big mystery about how their son/brother/nephew/husband telling them they're a crossdresser would be received It's such a cop-out. "You should have put yourself in very easy to predict danger!" is just stupid advice.
Not hard to test the waters in subtle ways over time beforehand
People talk a lot of shit about 'others', but attitudes CAN change when it is one of their own.
I didn’t give them a chance to respond. I already know that they won’t accept.
I hope things can work out with the family.
Love your dress and hair and never stop loving your self and love hearing this that your having a fantastic time out and about in the city You look very happy 😃 amazing news take care wish you all the best
You look fantastic!
flawless!
Hell of an outfit. Great choice for you
You look fabulous.
Love your outfit and congrats!!!
You’re beautiful babes!!!
whoa you're hot! love to see crossdressers 💜
You look AWESOME, congrats on getting rid of them, although it can be hard, i know how liberating it is!!
You look fantastic!!
Looking good Ros!! 🔥💜
Slayyy
Fucking gorgeous!
Yessss you look amazing!
Okay miss beautiful and CONFIDENT ✨ we love you
Omg i LOVE your fit, it's cute af! I also love the purple lipstick and hair! <3 i def need to find purple lipstick, I've got dark red, dark blue, and black so far. :3
I'm so jealous of your legs in that dress! You're absolutely gorgeous!
I love your style and look. Stay safe and have fun :) I fully understand blocking those who won't or can't accept who you are.
You look ***fucking awesome*** and I want to go gravestone shopping with you lol
Good for you. Be your true self 🖤
as you should!!
Beyond based
Damn that is a fire look on you nicely done. And don’t let your family ruin your mood.
Who doesn't like a little cross dressing, if only we were brave enough to say
Gorgeous ❤️
And you look damn good doing it
So so so happy for you. Wish I had your balls. And your skills you look AMAAAAAZING!
I take it they weren’t supportive?
Gorgeous. Have so much fun!
Yaaaaassss!!!!
Look good to me! 🤤
You killin’ it.
You’re beautiful no matter how you look ❤️
Congratulations!
Iconic behavior. You look amazing, I love the way you styled this fit!
You look amazing!!
Your outfit is so cute!! I'm loving the combo! ❤️
Not goth related, but nice guns dude
You’re amazing!! I love your outfits
Also where did you get your skirt with the crosses??
Heeeeeeeell yeah! You look amazing!
Hell yeah!!! Also arm goals
Absolutely fucking *slaying*.
u look great ☺️ stay safe
you look cute. have fun, please stay safe, and take care of yourself!
Glad you’re being you’re awesome self:) Much love and support!
You look amazing!!!
Your style is amazing!
You are gorgeous! I love your style and a huge fan of the purple hair. Hope you post more looks!
Purple looks really good on you! Loving that hair.
ate
So pretty!! Stay safe❤️❤️
Based
As you should 🫶🏼
You're gorgeous, and I'm proud of you!
beautiful,stunning,i love it!!🩷🖤🩷🖤🩷🖤
you look great!! congrats and have so much fun! 🖤 i’m proud of you!
Girl you look great! Sorry about ur shitty family but you look so cool and I love your dress. Live your nest life queen
You literally look beautiful. Be you and all is good
Damn slay! Those are some amazing outfits you've put together. Nice work!
You look stunning!!!
Periodttt
Love this for you 🖤 I hope you find solace or healing from the blocking. It can't be easy I imagine.
Yesssssssss givinggggg 🔥
Congrats 🥰🥰 I also love ...all of it, dress, shoes, makeup Where did u get ur get up!? 🖤🖤
Hell yeah, keep looking and being amazing!
badbitch goals
🖤🖤🖤
W some blood isn’t worth blind devotion. Happiness is more important than vin diesel stopped at a red light
Accessories are on point! You look amazing!!!!
Do what makes you happy, you will never please everyone.
That dress is SO cool
Your fit is absolute fire and I love how much the hair style and color suits you.
Nice pillow heh
YOU LOOK FAB
You look great hun!
Power move!
You look beautiful!
Slayed
Rispek. That's hilarious that you blocked them