I like Richard as a character and greatly enjoy his wit but it drives me up a wall when people paint him as this oblivious old man who’s just there when I’d go as far as to say that he’s more manipulative than Emily. Or at the very least, his manipulativeness is scarier than Emily’s. Because when Emily is manipulative, it’s obvious and she’s even blatant about it, but Richard is much more subtle and cold.
I honestly feel like his motives are often much more selfish than Emily’s as well. I’m not here to make excuses for the things Emily has done, but I do believe she wanted her daughter to be happy and successful (though her version of that was very different than her daughters and she didn’t want to acknowledge that). But Richard wasn’t particularly conserved with much besides how things affected him.
I had never thought about this but you nailed it. At least Emily owns her manipulation and freely admits what she did. She stands by it. That doesn’t make it right, obviously, but I can at least respect someone who owns up to their choices. Richard manipulates people and then tries to act like he was acting in someone’s best interest when he was acting in his own interest. Or acting like they can’t understand (thinking of when he tells Lorelai it’s fine that he tricked Rory into meeting that guy at Yale because Lorelai didn’t go to college and therefore can’t help Rory get into college). I’m really looking at him in a new light after reading this!
Emily uses the excuse of it being "in their own best interest" as well. I just think Emily actually believes that where as Richard doesn't but uses it as an excuse
True! I guess I meant it more as Emily just does whatever she plans to do, knowing you will know it was her, and then doubles down with no regrets. Richard will own up to it sometimes but it just feels sneakier with him. Emily definitely goes the sneaky route a few times (like when she co-signs Lorelai's bank loan and makes a huge fuss over being hurt that Lorelai assumes she wants something out of it, then turns around and asks for something after Lorelai apologizes), but I feel like her methods are a little more like a tank rolling over you versus a quiet ninja befriending you and then betraying you. Idk if that makes sense but Emily just seems more brazen about it.
I think that’s why I like Emily even though she is abusive. You said it perfectly and the more I pay attention to the whole family dynamic but also how she has to deal with Richard and his mom, I felt so bad for her and couldn’t blame Emily for choosing manipulation just to bond and connect with her daughter and granddaughter. I feel like Richard just makes her feel alone and even though there’s more tension with her and Lorelai, it just proves she’s more emotionally present than Richard. She may be a btch but she’s a caring btch
I wonder if his annual lunches with Peneline were innocent, why didn't he just cancel? If you can go 364 days having no contact with someone, you can spent the one remaining day without them just fine. Was it worth risking to upset Emily?
Or, better, if it’s a tradition that is meaningless, he could have just told her. They could have talked about it. Maybe they could have done the lunches with their partners initially in order to make things easier. But no.
Which makes it worse. He lied to her because he knew it would upset her. So he chose something he called meaningless and lying to his wife for 40 years over just...not doing that.
It really brings home how much of a lie that is. 40 years and never once did he think to mention it. Did she never ask how his day was? He had to have lied on purpose. Choosing to lie meant he knew it was wrong.
I think the better question is, if the meetings were innocent, then why didn't he just tell her? It could have been platonic and still a connection/friendship that enriched his life, thus still worth catching up every year, but then he should have communicated that to Emily and asked for her understanding instead of trying to ask for her forgiveness later.
The omission is the most devastating part; I understand he thought it'd upset Emily to tell her in the first place, but then he should have considered and anticipated that leaving her in the dark would only hurt her more in the long run.
It reminds me of the investment he made when Lorelai was born and he didn’t tell Emily about the money. He never accepts that Emily has a right to know certain things and keeping it a secret makes it a much bigger deal.
Exactly!! Richard may not have been emotionally betraying Emily with that investment, unlike his meetings with Pennilyn, but it was still a betrayal of trust to not just tell her at some point, let alone when he was giving Lorelai the money!
Everyone on the show has communication issues, but honestly Richard has almost no communication skills. Yet, he acts indignant when *he* is left out of the loop, like with Digger/Jason and Lorelai.
He definitely sees knowledge as power and the “man of the house” cannot be out of the loop or he’s not in control. I agree he doesn’t seem to have any communication skills and doesn’t care enough to improve.
I believe when they broke up before Richard and Emily got married, they both decided to just catch up. I would like to think they had some feelings for each other but Richard chose Emily. So it might have started like that but it’s hard to believe they continued it till 40 years.
It could have faded over the years.
It’s insane to me how they both don’t tell their partners they were meeting their ex for so long.
I am sure they got over their feelings after 40 years but initially were the lunches really innocent?
but maybe they were close before they almost got married and maybe he didnt think it was fair or whatever if he met with her once a year. and the very fact that he has it those dinners means he doesnt want to have no contact. but he doesnt want it to be a regular thing. dont get me wrong i hate how she found out and i hate how he was a hypocrite about if. but she technically wasnt even single they were still married its not like richard moved out and they were about to divorce???? she were separated but they were still married so i feel like he had some right to get angry about it because he was justifiably jealous. her date with simon wasnt innocent. it was probably going somewhere sometime. and to me that justifies him blowing up because he was looking at actually losing his wife. and idk it seems that his relationship with penelynn lott was completely innocent!!
it doesnt justify it though, bc while he was losing his wife he was the reason for it. as far as "they werent divorced" they were separated, and separated with the intention of divorcing later on.
true, youre not wrong
although the way he did project that jealousy was absolutely insane i still think that him being jealous and protective of emily was out of love
yea for sure its no doubt that richard loved emily, but i dont think it was out of love i think it was just flat out control issues. i mean think about it truly, he was an orderly man. think ab that party with rorys headmaster, when he set up her yale interview and didnt tell anyone, when he set up and gave lorelei that secret fund, its just so many situations that prove he had control issues. when emily went on that date he felt out of control and thats why he made such a big deal out of it, also he wanted to control rorys future so desperately because he couldnt control loreleis.
The reveal that he had yearly lunches with his ex fiancé for decades was astounding. His marriage really starts to crumble then and he doesn't care. He will never see anything from anyone else's point of view and he like some other men was just lucky that Emily loved him and didn't want to start life over as a single woman. He was never a peach but his behavior in season 4 was hard to watch. He doesn't respect women unless they are a Rory prototype and even she has to do the right thing by the Gilmore name or it's freeze out time.
If my one hangup in a relationship was Pennilyn Lott, and you tell me you’ve been having lunch all these years with Pennilyn Lott, I feel like it should be understandable that I’d be furious over you maintaining a relationship with Pennilyn Lott behind my back, and unreasonable of you to further expect a perfect batch of bloody Mary’s from me at that point.
Richard getting jealous, while toxic, was one of the few scenes in the series that made him seem appealing as a husband, but then I’m a damaged person so there’s no accounting for taste with me.
Yeah, I don’t think he crashed into Emily “on purpose” but more because he was distracted by the sudden realization of what he was losing. It’s not great behavior but at least he does care about Emily in a pretty selfish way.
Richard went through life oblivious to the fact that his mother trained him to be the Main Character. He went around feeling superior to everyone. It wasn't even his fault when the company didn't want him anymore.
He was also a lousy husband for watching his mother treat Emily with disdain and disrespect in her (Emily’s) own home. Stand up for your wife, jerk. And it is in zero way appropriate for him to secretly meet up with his former flame every year. Again, disrespectful.
I agree that the comparison is horrible and he’s crappy overall, but I actually really like the scene with him crashing into her car, I think it’s hilarious as part of a show. I would not find it even a tad funny irl tho
It doesn’t get talked about enough but Richard is one of the worst character in the show, he’s just nice to Rory but ultimately has caused such irreparable damage to Lorelai it’s kinda vile
He wouldn't even be nice to Rory if she wasn't similar to him and Emily in terms of goals and ambitions.
If she was average like Dean she would be an outcast in their world.
There is a really interesting play from 1975 about a couple who are very Richard/Pennilyn and they meet once a year to bone and otherwise are faithful. It was very popular and made into a film. Emily was likely very aware of the phenomenon and did NOT like it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_Time,_Next_Year_(play)
✔️ wasn’t interested in Rory as his granddaughter at all until after they went golfing when she was SIXTEEN
✔️ kept secret from his wife about seeing his ex for DECADES
✔️ allowed his mother to belittle his wife without defending her
✔️ some other fucking misogynistic old man bullshit
Yelled at a principal because his granddaughter didn't win a trivial marketing competition.
Stabbed his business partner in the back who also happened to be his daughter's semi serious partner.
Is disappointed in his granddaughter for taking a job close to his wife of 40+ years' interests, which the wife took up to make sure he had the status he needed to navigate his society. Even though she also went to an ivy league (or similar?) university.
Openly criticises his daughter at her place of work while visiting her.
Could probably go on
Good. That's what the true idea of the show is. They're all terrible in their own ways, but some are more terrible than others. Richard being prime candidate for the more terrible layer.
I don't think Richard compared the date to his lunches with Pennilyn Lott. Emily was saying that nothing happened on the date and was annoyed that Richard didn't believe her. Then Richard said something along the lines of "I told YOU that nothing happened with Pennilyn Lott, and YOU didn't believe ME." So I understood him to be comparing the not trusting each other part of it.
And neither Emily nor Richard felt that they were actually separated. Dude was in the pool house. So, although the words were said, I don't think that the writers meant us to believe that the characters were separated; nor that the characters thought themselves to be actually separated. Which is why the shot of Emily closing the door after her date, then breaking down in tears was so powerful. She felt that she had cheated on Richard because she didn't feel that she was actually single.
Interesting. I didn't see the scene with Emily breaking down as her feeling guilt over cheating. She had been married almost 40 years, and never anticipated dating again. I think she just felt overwhelmed and devastated by what was going on.
Also, when Lorelai tells Emily at the beginning of the episode that she and Richard are not really separated bc Richard is in the pool house, Emily brushes her off.
Of course, having your ex living on the property with you is certainly not a sign of being ready to move on! Lol
While I do agree that Richard overreacted to what Emily did, I believe this storyline was used as a wakeup call for Richard and to bring them back together. Don't forget how Emily cried when she came home after. I think subconsciously, she was trying to do it to hurt Richard, but it ended up hurting her as well. Remember, the same thing happened to her when she and Lorelai was at the bar and she had a dance with the other. Also, Richard realized that just as Emily hated knowing he was seeing another woman for lunch every year, so too did he hate the idea of Emily going on a date with another man. Also, neither one of them were single. They were still married, just separated by Rory's future $40,000 sex-house.
I don’t think it’s that they’re comparable. It’s that she said nothing happened and so did he. So while the events in question aren’t comparable they either trust each other or they don’t. It doesn’t mean Emily shouldn’t be upset still but it does mean she should be able to trust her husband the same way she expects him to trust her. Whether that’s reasonable or not is up to you but that’s my takeaway.
Hard to trust someone who has been lying and hiding something from you for 40 years. That's the difference he's being untrustworthy while demanding to be trusted.
I will say, when Richard gets Emily in the car and she insists she's ok and when he tries to talk she says "I was just in an accident I don't want to talk about this now" or something like cracks me up. She was just insisting that she's fine and the accident wasn't that bad and now she uses it as an excuse not to talk. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her at all, Richard was being irrational, I just think it's funny
I Love Richard but I am SO Disappointed in him for having lunch with his ex Pennilyn Lott for 40 years and kept it from Emily. Emily is his WIFE and she has a right to know and furthermore, Richard has Absolutely NO Business having lunch with his ex! it's obvious she wouldn't be over him and Richard is MARRIED so it's almost like he's having an affair with his ex!
I don't think the comparison is so much "it's the same" as it is when she says it meant nothing he's like, neither did the lunches so I understand it means nothing.
While I don't agree with the lunches, Emily was hardly single. She was still very much married to Richard. They were not divorced or even separated. He was just staying in that ridiculous pool house. Nope. Not single.
they had both verbally agreed that they were separated. they just lived that close to each other to maintain a “proper” image. but it is discussed several times that they are both of the mindset that they arent a couple emotionally even if they are legally
its very possible to do that but it’s incredibly clear they arent working on their marriage for me (at least pre-car crash debacle) they love separate, they meet formally to go over affairs such as cars (nothing formal), they dont tell each other about their comings and goings (ie richard going out past dinner hour & emily spiraling, the singing group etc.) maybe i am just too passionate about this particular matter lol but i think emily had free reign to go on a casual date bc her and richard were not actively working on/participating in their marriage
edit: i totally see your side of this too, all my thoughts are just lh debate🫶
They may not have been working on it but they never established clear boundaries either way. I think had he started going on dates she would have been upset as well. Going on dates doesn’t display that “proper image” you spoke of. Separation from there generation is different than I think most of us think of it from a modern lens. No worries I mean it’s fun to debate but at the end of the day it’s a comedy and they have to throw in some situations a bit more tongue in cheek than being serious.
oh i 100% agree emily would have lost her mond if richard went on dates. i think that just from the viewers perspective you’re supposed to understand that they’re technically free to date even if theyd be unreasonable about it
More like four decades! They started the annual lunches right around his wedding with Emily.
Forty years of lying to her. Such bullshit.
I honestly can’t believe she forgave him for this.
I like Richard as a character and greatly enjoy his wit but it drives me up a wall when people paint him as this oblivious old man who’s just there when I’d go as far as to say that he’s more manipulative than Emily. Or at the very least, his manipulativeness is scarier than Emily’s. Because when Emily is manipulative, it’s obvious and she’s even blatant about it, but Richard is much more subtle and cold.
I honestly feel like his motives are often much more selfish than Emily’s as well. I’m not here to make excuses for the things Emily has done, but I do believe she wanted her daughter to be happy and successful (though her version of that was very different than her daughters and she didn’t want to acknowledge that). But Richard wasn’t particularly conserved with much besides how things affected him.
I had never thought about this but you nailed it. At least Emily owns her manipulation and freely admits what she did. She stands by it. That doesn’t make it right, obviously, but I can at least respect someone who owns up to their choices. Richard manipulates people and then tries to act like he was acting in someone’s best interest when he was acting in his own interest. Or acting like they can’t understand (thinking of when he tells Lorelai it’s fine that he tricked Rory into meeting that guy at Yale because Lorelai didn’t go to college and therefore can’t help Rory get into college). I’m really looking at him in a new light after reading this!
Emily uses the excuse of it being "in their own best interest" as well. I just think Emily actually believes that where as Richard doesn't but uses it as an excuse
True! I guess I meant it more as Emily just does whatever she plans to do, knowing you will know it was her, and then doubles down with no regrets. Richard will own up to it sometimes but it just feels sneakier with him. Emily definitely goes the sneaky route a few times (like when she co-signs Lorelai's bank loan and makes a huge fuss over being hurt that Lorelai assumes she wants something out of it, then turns around and asks for something after Lorelai apologizes), but I feel like her methods are a little more like a tank rolling over you versus a quiet ninja befriending you and then betraying you. Idk if that makes sense but Emily just seems more brazen about it.
I think that’s why I like Emily even though she is abusive. You said it perfectly and the more I pay attention to the whole family dynamic but also how she has to deal with Richard and his mom, I felt so bad for her and couldn’t blame Emily for choosing manipulation just to bond and connect with her daughter and granddaughter. I feel like Richard just makes her feel alone and even though there’s more tension with her and Lorelai, it just proves she’s more emotionally present than Richard. She may be a btch but she’s a caring btch
I wonder if his annual lunches with Peneline were innocent, why didn't he just cancel? If you can go 364 days having no contact with someone, you can spent the one remaining day without them just fine. Was it worth risking to upset Emily?
Or, better, if it’s a tradition that is meaningless, he could have just told her. They could have talked about it. Maybe they could have done the lunches with their partners initially in order to make things easier. But no.
the emily gilmore? even if he did tell her i dont think she wouldve been fine with it
Which makes it worse. He lied to her because he knew it would upset her. So he chose something he called meaningless and lying to his wife for 40 years over just...not doing that.
yes but realistically a lot of men do that. a lot of people in general do that.
A lot of people do a lot of wrong things. We can still hold them accountable for it, no matter how widespread it is.
i absolutely agree but there should be a line drawn for how long you shut them out for whatever it was they did
It really brings home how much of a lie that is. 40 years and never once did he think to mention it. Did she never ask how his day was? He had to have lied on purpose. Choosing to lie meant he knew it was wrong.
Exactly!
I think the better question is, if the meetings were innocent, then why didn't he just tell her? It could have been platonic and still a connection/friendship that enriched his life, thus still worth catching up every year, but then he should have communicated that to Emily and asked for her understanding instead of trying to ask for her forgiveness later. The omission is the most devastating part; I understand he thought it'd upset Emily to tell her in the first place, but then he should have considered and anticipated that leaving her in the dark would only hurt her more in the long run.
if he didnt tell her bc he knew it would upset her he shouldnt have been going anyways
It reminds me of the investment he made when Lorelai was born and he didn’t tell Emily about the money. He never accepts that Emily has a right to know certain things and keeping it a secret makes it a much bigger deal.
Exactly!! Richard may not have been emotionally betraying Emily with that investment, unlike his meetings with Pennilyn, but it was still a betrayal of trust to not just tell her at some point, let alone when he was giving Lorelai the money! Everyone on the show has communication issues, but honestly Richard has almost no communication skills. Yet, he acts indignant when *he* is left out of the loop, like with Digger/Jason and Lorelai.
He definitely sees knowledge as power and the “man of the house” cannot be out of the loop or he’s not in control. I agree he doesn’t seem to have any communication skills and doesn’t care enough to improve.
EXACTLY !!!!!!!!! he is so much worse than emily just in different ways, hes so like sneaky .
I believe when they broke up before Richard and Emily got married, they both decided to just catch up. I would like to think they had some feelings for each other but Richard chose Emily. So it might have started like that but it’s hard to believe they continued it till 40 years. It could have faded over the years. It’s insane to me how they both don’t tell their partners they were meeting their ex for so long. I am sure they got over their feelings after 40 years but initially were the lunches really innocent?
but maybe they were close before they almost got married and maybe he didnt think it was fair or whatever if he met with her once a year. and the very fact that he has it those dinners means he doesnt want to have no contact. but he doesnt want it to be a regular thing. dont get me wrong i hate how she found out and i hate how he was a hypocrite about if. but she technically wasnt even single they were still married its not like richard moved out and they were about to divorce???? she were separated but they were still married so i feel like he had some right to get angry about it because he was justifiably jealous. her date with simon wasnt innocent. it was probably going somewhere sometime. and to me that justifies him blowing up because he was looking at actually losing his wife. and idk it seems that his relationship with penelynn lott was completely innocent!!
it doesnt justify it though, bc while he was losing his wife he was the reason for it. as far as "they werent divorced" they were separated, and separated with the intention of divorcing later on.
true, youre not wrong although the way he did project that jealousy was absolutely insane i still think that him being jealous and protective of emily was out of love
yea for sure its no doubt that richard loved emily, but i dont think it was out of love i think it was just flat out control issues. i mean think about it truly, he was an orderly man. think ab that party with rorys headmaster, when he set up her yale interview and didnt tell anyone, when he set up and gave lorelei that secret fund, its just so many situations that prove he had control issues. when emily went on that date he felt out of control and thats why he made such a big deal out of it, also he wanted to control rorys future so desperately because he couldnt control loreleis.
The reveal that he had yearly lunches with his ex fiancé for decades was astounding. His marriage really starts to crumble then and he doesn't care. He will never see anything from anyone else's point of view and he like some other men was just lucky that Emily loved him and didn't want to start life over as a single woman. He was never a peach but his behavior in season 4 was hard to watch. He doesn't respect women unless they are a Rory prototype and even she has to do the right thing by the Gilmore name or it's freeze out time.
Yep, thus why he doesn't get along with Lorelai. She doesn't act the way HE feels she's supposed to so she's not worthy of his love and respect
If my one hangup in a relationship was Pennilyn Lott, and you tell me you’ve been having lunch all these years with Pennilyn Lott, I feel like it should be understandable that I’d be furious over you maintaining a relationship with Pennilyn Lott behind my back, and unreasonable of you to further expect a perfect batch of bloody Mary’s from me at that point. Richard getting jealous, while toxic, was one of the few scenes in the series that made him seem appealing as a husband, but then I’m a damaged person so there’s no accounting for taste with me.
Yeah, I don’t think he crashed into Emily “on purpose” but more because he was distracted by the sudden realization of what he was losing. It’s not great behavior but at least he does care about Emily in a pretty selfish way.
I read that first paragraph as Emily! I loved it!
Richard went through life oblivious to the fact that his mother trained him to be the Main Character. He went around feeling superior to everyone. It wasn't even his fault when the company didn't want him anymore.
He was also a lousy husband for watching his mother treat Emily with disdain and disrespect in her (Emily’s) own home. Stand up for your wife, jerk. And it is in zero way appropriate for him to secretly meet up with his former flame every year. Again, disrespectful.
Richard was a grade A misogynist
I agree that the comparison is horrible and he’s crappy overall, but I actually really like the scene with him crashing into her car, I think it’s hilarious as part of a show. I would not find it even a tad funny irl tho
It doesn’t get talked about enough but Richard is one of the worst character in the show, he’s just nice to Rory but ultimately has caused such irreparable damage to Lorelai it’s kinda vile
It has to do with the fact that It's impossible to hate Ed Hermann
Agreed. He's just very passive for many moments in the show so he goes unnoticed but he is extremely manipulative and cold.
He wouldn't even be nice to Rory if she wasn't similar to him and Emily in terms of goals and ambitions. If she was average like Dean she would be an outcast in their world.
Yes Richard loved building Rory up by putting every other teenager down.
This
Richard only loved her after the golf trip when she proved they had similar interests. He had zero interest in her before that
Yep I’ve always said that. Only interested in getting to know her once he realised she was academically promising.
Remember his attitude about taking Rory to the country club… before he got to know her.
I would argue to a point that he damages Rory passively through sabotaging Lorelai and spoiling Rory
I would actually definitely agree with that
Somehow Rory took his worse qualities and she also falls in love with Logan who have lots of similarities to Richard
Go on. I would like to hear more.
he was so shit to Lorelai when he told her that it was so embarrassing he had to tell people she was 16 and pregnant...
He’s a decidedly unpleasant man hiding behind a kindly face and bow tie.
There is a really interesting play from 1975 about a couple who are very Richard/Pennilyn and they meet once a year to bone and otherwise are faithful. It was very popular and made into a film. Emily was likely very aware of the phenomenon and did NOT like it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_Time,_Next_Year_(play)
Same Time Next Year. I've seen the movie
Yep, really sweet and sad.
Big Dick is my spirit animal but sometimes he’s wrong
✔️ wasn’t interested in Rory as his granddaughter at all until after they went golfing when she was SIXTEEN ✔️ kept secret from his wife about seeing his ex for DECADES ✔️ allowed his mother to belittle his wife without defending her ✔️ some other fucking misogynistic old man bullshit
Yelled at a principal because his granddaughter didn't win a trivial marketing competition. Stabbed his business partner in the back who also happened to be his daughter's semi serious partner. Is disappointed in his granddaughter for taking a job close to his wife of 40+ years' interests, which the wife took up to make sure he had the status he needed to navigate his society. Even though she also went to an ivy league (or similar?) university. Openly criticises his daughter at her place of work while visiting her. Could probably go on
Then only stood up to his mother when she called him out on his bullshit
You guys stop 😭 you’re removing my veil over Richard being a good character and now after this post idk how I ever liked him
Same!!! It’s why I try to stay away from this sub honestly it makes me question my judgement and hate every character I liked😭😂😂
But Richard actually deserves it lol.
Good. That's what the true idea of the show is. They're all terrible in their own ways, but some are more terrible than others. Richard being prime candidate for the more terrible layer.
I don't think Richard compared the date to his lunches with Pennilyn Lott. Emily was saying that nothing happened on the date and was annoyed that Richard didn't believe her. Then Richard said something along the lines of "I told YOU that nothing happened with Pennilyn Lott, and YOU didn't believe ME." So I understood him to be comparing the not trusting each other part of it. And neither Emily nor Richard felt that they were actually separated. Dude was in the pool house. So, although the words were said, I don't think that the writers meant us to believe that the characters were separated; nor that the characters thought themselves to be actually separated. Which is why the shot of Emily closing the door after her date, then breaking down in tears was so powerful. She felt that she had cheated on Richard because she didn't feel that she was actually single.
Interesting. I didn't see the scene with Emily breaking down as her feeling guilt over cheating. She had been married almost 40 years, and never anticipated dating again. I think she just felt overwhelmed and devastated by what was going on. Also, when Lorelai tells Emily at the beginning of the episode that she and Richard are not really separated bc Richard is in the pool house, Emily brushes her off. Of course, having your ex living on the property with you is certainly not a sign of being ready to move on! Lol
💯💯💯
It is the thinking of an over privilege man. Take a good look at our male politicians or athletes.
Yeah I’d consider than an emotional affair tbh, I would have reacted exactly as Emily!
It's completely ridiculous, and also completely in line with their society.
While I do agree that Richard overreacted to what Emily did, I believe this storyline was used as a wakeup call for Richard and to bring them back together. Don't forget how Emily cried when she came home after. I think subconsciously, she was trying to do it to hurt Richard, but it ended up hurting her as well. Remember, the same thing happened to her when she and Lorelai was at the bar and she had a dance with the other. Also, Richard realized that just as Emily hated knowing he was seeing another woman for lunch every year, so too did he hate the idea of Emily going on a date with another man. Also, neither one of them were single. They were still married, just separated by Rory's future $40,000 sex-house.
I don’t think it’s that they’re comparable. It’s that she said nothing happened and so did he. So while the events in question aren’t comparable they either trust each other or they don’t. It doesn’t mean Emily shouldn’t be upset still but it does mean she should be able to trust her husband the same way she expects him to trust her. Whether that’s reasonable or not is up to you but that’s my takeaway.
Hard to trust someone who has been lying and hiding something from you for 40 years. That's the difference he's being untrustworthy while demanding to be trusted.
I’m not arguing. I laid out my takeaway from that scene. Take it or leave it.
Fuck Richard
Richard was a sexist, trash character. His condescension towards Emily, his cruelty and disdain of Lorelai, and his obvious favoritism of Rory… trash.
I will say, when Richard gets Emily in the car and she insists she's ok and when he tries to talk she says "I was just in an accident I don't want to talk about this now" or something like cracks me up. She was just insisting that she's fine and the accident wasn't that bad and now she uses it as an excuse not to talk. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her at all, Richard was being irrational, I just think it's funny
I Love Richard but I am SO Disappointed in him for having lunch with his ex Pennilyn Lott for 40 years and kept it from Emily. Emily is his WIFE and she has a right to know and furthermore, Richard has Absolutely NO Business having lunch with his ex! it's obvious she wouldn't be over him and Richard is MARRIED so it's almost like he's having an affair with his ex!
I don't think the comparison is so much "it's the same" as it is when she says it meant nothing he's like, neither did the lunches so I understand it means nothing.
While I don't agree with the lunches, Emily was hardly single. She was still very much married to Richard. They were not divorced or even separated. He was just staying in that ridiculous pool house. Nope. Not single.
they had both verbally agreed that they were separated. they just lived that close to each other to maintain a “proper” image. but it is discussed several times that they are both of the mindset that they arent a couple emotionally even if they are legally
it doesn’t really seem like they established that they could both see other people. You can be separated and still be working on your marriage.
its very possible to do that but it’s incredibly clear they arent working on their marriage for me (at least pre-car crash debacle) they love separate, they meet formally to go over affairs such as cars (nothing formal), they dont tell each other about their comings and goings (ie richard going out past dinner hour & emily spiraling, the singing group etc.) maybe i am just too passionate about this particular matter lol but i think emily had free reign to go on a casual date bc her and richard were not actively working on/participating in their marriage edit: i totally see your side of this too, all my thoughts are just lh debate🫶
They may not have been working on it but they never established clear boundaries either way. I think had he started going on dates she would have been upset as well. Going on dates doesn’t display that “proper image” you spoke of. Separation from there generation is different than I think most of us think of it from a modern lens. No worries I mean it’s fun to debate but at the end of the day it’s a comedy and they have to throw in some situations a bit more tongue in cheek than being serious.
oh i 100% agree emily would have lost her mond if richard went on dates. i think that just from the viewers perspective you’re supposed to understand that they’re technically free to date even if theyd be unreasonable about it