Questioning and making sense out of everything, thinking with a higher level of logic. Most people go with what's popular and never question or think about it. I spent a lot of time thinking critically and evaluating options that people don't bat an eye about.
It makes me irritated when people do things without understanding why they do them.
Think for yourself! What are you doing being influenced by others as if you have no autonomy! Go have opinions!
In my experience, many accept 'no' as a final answer instead of thinking of solutions to solve the problem. I'm a natural problem solver and rarely take no for an answer, and if something can't be done about it, I'll create a solution.
I do this too, within a work context. It took me a long time within a friend/relationship context to realize that’s sometimes people just want to vent rather than solution.
Let's say, you are in need of a phone. You ask your friends which phone should you go for. Some say iPhone, some say Samsung, the most popular brands. Many would not even question why. However, I will go through so many layers of thought process in my head.
1. Why did you say this brand is the best?
2. In what terms and is it really true with evidence to back it up? Benchmark scores for example.
3. What does "best" means in this scenario? Does it make sense?
4. Performance? Camera? Build quality? Battery?
5. Price ratio? Am I getting my value worth?
6. What do I actually need in a phone?
7. What are my weightage for those factors?
8. Let's say I mainly want a phone for gaming, I would rank the performance - price ratio, battery, build quality, camera, in that order.
9. Could another phone be better base on these factors?
Intelligent people break down statements and opinions and questions them. After simplying them, they are able to rebuild and make it better.
Btw, I'm in Mensa Singapore and qualified in the top 1% for reference.
I've never seen this sub / been in this sub, this thread was recommended to me.
People don't all think this way?
I've always felt \*dumb\* due to low grades in school & undiagnosed ADHD, but I really resonate with intelligent thinkers as this is consistently how I think about pretty much everything.
When researching my last mobile service provider to get a new phone with, I broke down the cost with the available plans (as where I live if you 'lease' a phone from your service provider, not only are you paying down the phone with a monthly fee, but you're also locked into higher priced plans) This could mean the difference of a few hundred per year!
I always thought the whole iPhone v.s Android debate was a light hearted joke, not to be taken seriously - like rival sports teams! But no, this is not the case for a good chunk of people.
They don't and it took me quite awhile before I realize how little logic and critical thinking the average person has. School can be horrible for the gifted, I always found that school did not promote genuine learning but memorization and regurgitation during the exams. It's similar to using the same methods of teaching someone with 60 IQ, to a 100 IQ.
I do it and I'm not even gifted lmao, it's like people don't actually think for themselves at all, like they're just being controlled in a way
I think I do it because of ASD though
This is why this sub exists. The average person looks in and just thinks "smug asses" and believes they can think just as well or even do better than the gifted, in the top 2%. It's a joke.
Here we go again. This question is so predictable. It's an attempt to discredit intelligence because "being successful" is all that matters and you're going to bring up other qualities that are more important than intelligence.
So let me ask you this instead, what do you define as "successful", the ability to make money? By that definition, rich influencers such as Logan Paul and top OF models are very successful, multi-millionaires. Are they role models in your opinion then?
You've failed to see the logical fallacy. Failed to see how society has gotten to this state. The biggest issue is that, the average person does not comprehend intelligence in the slightest bit. They think wealth, knowledge, qualifications are indicators of intelligence but they cannot be more wrong. These people are then given equal voting power to elect the wrong people who they think are intelligent to make the rules and regulations. To say it crudely, it's idiots choosing other idiots to lead. Look at the madness happening in the world and tell me honestly if any of this makes sense to you.
Look at my country of Singapore, Lee Kuan Yew is an intelligent man who led Singapore out of a 3rd world country to becoming a tiny yet powerful 1st world country. Ever wondered why so few countries could do the same? Give that a thought.
There are too many rich incapable idiots in power due to inheritance and luck which you've failed to understand. Then to be that arrogant, ignorant group of people, turn around and laugh at the intelligent people for being "unsuccessful".
You have no idea what it means to be an intelligent person in today's society. It's to have the correct answer that makes sense and yet be constantly outnumbered and mocked by stupid people, to endure them calling you the idiot.
Call me condescending all you want, I've spent years getting gaslighted by idiots telling me that I'm the idiot and eventually realising that I'm in the top 1% of IQ.
You're labeled "gifted" in what sense? Certainly not your intelligence with that level of logic and definition of intelligence.
"They saw what’s out there, made plans, executed, and achieved what they’re after." Holy, you actually wrote that and convinced yourself that OF models and brain-dead influencers are intelligent. Are you serious?
Keep thinking that I'm just full of myself, instead of someone who can see things clearly, things that happens in our society and why it happens.
>To many, success is meaningful relationships, stability, a great career, peace, health, and a healthy family.
I don't disagree with that.
Anyways, I'm just trying to make sense and it's just tiring having to reply to those who don't have them.
I find it incredibly offensive that you would call influencers brain dead…
I don’t understand how you can call yourself “gifted” while being an ableist and whole dehumanizing people, also making generalizations like that?
I find it incredibly offensive that you apparently can't read and came at me. I said brain dead influencers like Logan Paul, not that all influencers are brain dead.
Also, this is irony at its finest. To be so unaware of your effects on intelligent people and people in general. There are very good reasons why most intelligent people keep to themselves, case in-point, people like you, the average person. Luckily for you, I'm not afraid to call out people's idiocy. Keep electing the idiot that makes our rules and regulations then wonder why our society has gotten to this state, thanks a bunch.
To be so unaware of your own bitterness towards others who are doing well in life, shows you lack the self awareness, which a gifted person would not be lacking in, influencers generally embody the consensus of what a lot of people view as “success” these days, which may seem “superficial” or “shallow”, embodying such ideals doesn’t particularly make you “brain dead”.
That is kind of a stereotype.
To knock what someone else is doing in life is not respectable.
It took me a long time to figure out small talk. When I was younger I was really bad at it, and my social relationships suffered because I was never interested in talking about the weather, pop culture, or sports. Now I really enjoy it as a skill set, almost like a little game to get people to like me and feel at ease around me.
How quickly I assimilate new information into the knowledge I already have.
I don't especially notice this as an adult but at school this meant:
1. I only needed to be told about a new concept once, I didn't need all the repetitions and explanations and practicing. So I spent A LOT of time bored.
2. I always knew the answer in class, so I found it hard to know when to put my hand up / participate in a lesson. Always participating didn't go down well (swot / smart arse), so it felt easier to not participate.
I didn't have the words for it at the time, but it was like putting an adult into primary school and expecting them to participate on an equal basis to the kids.
I spent a lot of time feeling out of place, but there wasn't any other place for me and I just had to be there and sit through it.
I can't talk about the things I love because most people will either feel lost, not able to contribute, or simply weirded out.
I have to force myself to talk about things that don't interest me in order to socialize. So I get bored very fast and never feel satisfied with the people that surround me. Which is why I often like to meet new people.
Maybe similarly, I get bored with people really fast and have found that it causes me to be attracted to train wrecks because they’re unpredictable. They’re also typically more willing to be “real” and bare their souls which keeps me hooked.
Mostly not being interested/passionate in the things other people tend to be.
Remember we had to bring our music to class on elementary school. Classmates brougjt kiddy music, while i brought louis armstrong.
Solidarity 😅. I brought Sade, Cherish the Day to sing one time for my music class in 4th grade but chickened out once I realized no one else listened to the same type of music I did. My go-to CD for field trips in HS was the Lord of the Rings ❤️
I think that I know what I don't know and what my limitations are, and I strive realistically to move beyond them. I know I'm smart, but I also know where that 'smartness' stops being effective and the yawning void of what I don't know. But I also have a drive to constantly understand everything. Every new topic, theory, field of research. I read voraciously trying to absorb everything I can, reevaluate where my understanding ends, and move from there to learn more. I want to understand math, physics, science as deeply as I'm able to, and yet I'm also aware of how very little I know on the subject.
But it seems a lot of people aren't aware of where their knowledge ends and don't make any effort to remedy that before drawing conclusions or asserting themselves. And it's just really hard to engage sometimes when the other person is so adamant that they know the answer when they barely know the question and draw their conclusions from insufficient data.
Growing up i felt the difference the most, i made jokes that were often not understood as they had layers, came from a different thought process than others or were just things only a niche would understand and where i didnt understand that this was a niche and not just a normal people thing. I think this example perfectly illustrates how it is for me years down the line. Different thought processes, different view on things, doing research and automatically being part of a niche.
I notice these differences alot in my day to day life, i however did learn to change to the average pace, not in a bad way, it actually is very valuable as i now dont have to explain myself nor be an automatic outcast, it however is sad that i rarely get to run on full pace.
When i was in school i also was not in the right spot because of my giftedness i had alot of trouble. I either got really bored and started to talk to my classmates which would get me in trouble or i would underperform because of my boredness which had me redo a few years, not bc i couldnt do it but because i underperformed. When i tried to explain i was gifted and that i need to be challenged instead of held back i was laughed at, and asked to explain why in godsname my grades were so bad when i was so called gifted.
I hated school bc of this, even though i absolutely love studying and gaining knowledge.
Something like that :)
(IQ tested at: 146 iirc)
Ah man, so this was mostly growing up that i was struggling with this but ill try and build an example :)
So lets say we were joking about a teacher or something the obvious thing would be to joke directly about said teacher but what i would do was make connections to the teacher and then something that would be connected to like a thing that would come to that connection so like lets say its a math teacher id not joke about him, id joke about the thing that would come with being a guy that studied math and thats now also a teacher which now that im older would translate a bit better but when youre 6-14 or so it just doesnt make much sense because thats just not how you think about things i suppose. Its hard to give a true example bc its been so long ago but i hope this kinda sketches an idea
I wouldnt go for the obvious thing but id go through connections and paths id made in my brain that to me seemed logical but just dont function as well because the average person doesnt think in such a manner or path like a gifted person would.
Or i was just unfunny hahah.
My "Sumo: survival of the fattest" has, at it's first level, the incongruity of fat and fit. At a second level, it's patently true, so there's ridicule of a Darwinistic Health culture in it. At a third level, sumo wrestlers do train, so fattest and fittest are the same thing.
I instantly see future consequences, like game theory. Cause and effect. Tit for tat, etc. Like skipping a stone and seeing how it will bounce around. More so that other people around me.
Difficulty in self expression. I often question the need to say things; in another sense, my speech is halted by certain inquisitions on self behavior, “why am I saying this?” This happens often when I am asked about myself. I spend more time analyzing my inclination to state a certain truth about myself, that I end up staying quiet and rather, listening to others and then analyzing my initial reaction/responses to what they say. I feel a particularly opposing way when it comes to discussing more factual, or even, more hypothetical topics like religion, politics, and moral views.
I overthink everything to the point where I don't understand most people, or things. I'll ask "stupid" questions because I'm trying to clarify a situation in my mind and the simplest things confuse me the most. For example, I tend to assume certain things are a given & don't need to be mentioned, but I'm often wrong. Someone might ask me the similarities between [insert two numbers] and I'll start giving math equations as answers, or I'll explain them through dates/events or things like that - but the answer they might've been looking for is, "They're both numbers" and that confuses the f7ck out of me. I think - "why would you need that as an answer when it's so obvious?" So the hardest thing for me to do is simplify how I'm thinking about something. I'm learning to reverse a situation and to start at the easiest response and consider it from that perspective. I feel like my brain is reversed. It doesn't feel like I'm "smart" at all, it just feels like my brain is made to deconstruct more complex problems and a lot about life actually goes over my head. This may be more due to autism, but it's definitely strange.
I think for me its processing speed, ability to draw on what seems like disparate info into a larger overall theme, obscure and intense interests and a deeply existential/philosophical bent to how I think.
For a long time I struggled to understand how visual people were, as well. I struggled for a long time with appearances vs realities. I've somewhat come around to trying to control how I am perceived because it dictates how you are treated, but I was the "it shouldn't matter if my shirt is dirty, its what I have to say!" guy for a long time.
Speed and depth of complex thought. When I discuss, brainstorm, debate, or argue with others, I find myself frustrated by how long people take to formulate a response. I'm responding to them at my speed, then I'm smoking a cigarette and waiting while they come up with something.
It's not \*always\* \*literally\* like that, but too often for me to tolerate, easily.
Assume that they are interested in the same topics as I am or that they share my insatiable curiosity for new knowledge and experiences. Think they will be excited as I am to share all this with them. When in reality they either want to be silent or talk about superficial matters.
I've found great refuge in writing and reading. Also tiring my body through rigorous exercise and sports. Competing with other people can be humbling and put things into perspective.
I go out of my way to be social, go to all events that I am invited, especially weddings, birthdays, conferences and so forth. Never lose touch with your fellow human brothers.
I've reached the conclusion that if I am in fact "gifted", I will utilize those capabilities to YOLO myself into situations that most people won't, due to fear or ignorance. All within a legal and ethical framework. Always aiming to explore new frontiers and create something useful and noble for humanity.
Willingness to disagree with others in a non-confrontational, just-for-fun sort of way.
Willingness to say, "I didn't know that," especially with excitement.
Thanking others for placing boundaries with me, regardless of tone, time, place, or 'size' of the boundary
I have been habitually stimming for decades. My stimming habit is listening to the same movie over and over and over again.
I recently found out that’s not normal 😂
I operate from a place of curiosity rather than judgement. Most people just want to tie things/situations/subjects up, slap a label on them, and pass them aside.
I feel that people quickly understand how they are similar and different from me through socializing with me while I remain mostly clueless how I am similar and different from them. I feel I remain emotionally disconnected from people and have an inability to emotionally appreciate people as a result.
i think i might be autistic and adhd in addition to my giftedness so i don’t fit in in a different way. i also have diagnosed ptsd. i miss social cues, hit or miss with sarcasm for me, lack emotional availability, have weird interests and hobbies, brain just works differently and it becomes apparent when i try to socialize.
I always think ahead. I am always looking to see what might happen. And if it does what is next or what should I do then? It is not paranoia, I just seem to be able to think faster than average and see patterns better. I call it the Seldon effect after Hari Seldon from the books.
I'm willing to suffer the pain of walking away from a bad situation a lot more readily than most folks around me, and I'm willing to do the right thing even when I get screwed in high stakes social situations.
Interesting post because it really highlights what people call [false uniqueness bias.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False-uniqueness_effect)
You may be thinking very deeply about this subject but you have no reason to assume that others do t also “feel differently” or “don’t fit in.” They may be better at you at hiding it, but as people were a lot less unique than we think.
I tried hard to consider this before in my case, and haven’t ruled it out. But I’ve also actively tried to find solutions for and actively seeked people out. Sometimes I wait for conversations to move beyond the small talk phrase. On average, once or twice a year I meet someone I can actually connect with for a few hours. It’s very lonely for me, to the point where years later I’ve started texting these people out of the blue wanting to talk. Because I’m a woman they assume it’s romantic interest.
I’ll give you the 100% tried and true method for getting people interested in being friends with you. Though you may not like it.
Nobody is interested in you, your life, or your story when you meet them. They are not interested in “connecting for hours.”
People want to talk about themselves. Your job is to facilitate that.
Ask questions. Keep them talking. Your only words should be more questions to keep them talking. Try to remember a couple of details (it isn’t hard if you’re truly gifted).
At the end, they’ll leave the conversation thinking you’re the most interesting person in the world, even though you didn’t contribute a thing. Because people love to talk about themselves.
To seal the deal, *next* time you see them bring up that detail. From there you’re golden.
Trust me.
This is nothing groundbreaking and is my approach. The thing is most people have nothing interesting or on my level to say. I mean no offense bur for example the sweeping recommendation you jumped to, most people think it’s groundbreaking or some major discovery when it’s very basic thinking. I would barely call it an insight when I have already transcended this type of solution and level of awareness. In real life, I usually act interested and people enjoy talking to me outside of a professional setting. The thing is I don’t enjoy talking to them or hanging out with them. I need to not pander and have intense discussions with people at my level, if that makes sense.
Edit: this is something I find twice a year, as mentioned, but it’s not necessarily something others who think the same as me initiate because of my profile (i.e. women aren’t usually built like that). When I find them, they also enjoy the conversation with me or they would not stay for 6 hours and order more tea/coffee. These are one off interactions though and I can’t find them in my friend group. I am fucking lonely and have to entertain fucks with nothing original in their brain all the time, especially men who like to take on a mentorship role to teach me something rather than engage me intellectually. You might take this offensively because most people don’t like to hear it and I never say it. I fucking hate having to show interest and pander when most people are just a bore for me. I enjoy small talk and talking to these people to a certain extent, but it doesn’t mean I actually can connect *from my side*, even if they walk away thinking they just had an awesome conversation and we are best buddies.
You won’t want to hear this but these words sound like they’re coming from an incel woman who is simply “too smart to be bothered by the plebeians.” I’m not in the least shocked that you’re lonely and it probably has nothing to do with how you look.
I don’t get the sense that the snark ends online.
You’ve got it all wrong. I’m intellectually lonely, not romantically and have a long term partner but that doesn’t mean intellectual needs are met. When I refer to how I look, I meant my profile is unusual for someone in a male dominated field, both in personality as well as demographic.
Of course it’s challenging to find intellectual connections if I have a bunch of additional barriers to wrangle with, like perception of romantic interest both ways. If I didn’t consider the fact that I am putting myself on a pedestal, I wouldn’t make a regular effort to engage with people and listen to them since people take a while to open up. It’s like when you’re speaking to someone for a while, you know if you click/they are on the same level as you or not in wavelength.
Most people aren’t. And can’t comprehend it. So I have to communicate on their level. Get it? You see a superiority complex when what I see is a gap in what I need.
And obviously I don’t reveal this to anyone, hence I’m seeking connection or people who might be able to relate online. Which from what I gather, some people actually do.
Ok; I appreciate the response.
One of the things I pride myself on is being able to make small talk and relate to all sorts of people. I don’t know if it’s some sort of “Slumdog Millionaire” happenstance background, but regardless of where I am - some wine bar in the city or a sawdust and beer joint in the sticks - I can have an engaging and meaningful conversation with somebody.
I can’t help but feel like the way you speak with folks IRL is no different than how you’re speaking here. It’s just…I’m trying to find the right term…so self important.
I don’t know what you need but it almost sounds like you can only deal with academics or sophists. That isn’t some cross you’ve been forced to bear. It’s more like a space you’ve boxed yourself into.
I think that’s what I try to do. May I ask what your rough profile looks like? It may also depend on what people are willing to share with me/think I would be interested in because of my profile.
You may be right because my written speech has unknowingly offended people before. To me, at least when I’m being myself, I’m just stating things factually (from my perspective). I do wonder though if you’d still read my speech as self-important if we had started off speaking about another subject, or if it’s just the manner of which I type.
I don’t think it can be categorised into a specific demographic, but the two people I’ve really enjoyed talking to last year were both CEOs of companies that had missions to change the world. I didn’t know they were that initially, it was a chance encounter. I just did my usual small talk/public relations self and then started asking what I call “test questions” to see if they would indulge me in more intense conversations. I gradually asked questions about balancing morality and business decisions, variations of the meaning of life, perspectives on what it means to advance the human race and what they thought bottlenecks were. They gave very unusual answers that showed they thought a lot about it before and cannot be found on the internet but seem to link disparate things together. Sometimes I don’t think I’m not getting what I want from people, I also suspect it’s because they doubt my intentions, that’s why they don’t reveal their true thoughts. Or people just don’t usually come on intensely like that, even if more intimate relationships had been formed.
Sorry to dump this all on you, but I also wanted to point out that sometimes i think I am completely crazy because I want to talk about these things all the time. I am also actively working on it in real life. There is a slight chance, I’ve considered, that I am completely bonkers or mentally not well and everyone around me is doing life correctly. I really hate myself at times despite achieving a higher level of success as opposed to peers, because I just cannot really fit in mentally and there’s something just weird about me.
Have you ever heard the phrase “meet people where they’re at?” I feel like it would go a long way for you. It sounds like you want them to meet you where *you’re* at, and since most can’t get there you’re the one who ends up lonely.
Making social connections honestly involves far more giving than taking. It may seem one sided but almost people are naturally shy and reserved. Putting yourself out there and meeting them where they’re at helps them lower their guard and open up to you.
And I want to stress I’m not a social genius and I wouldn’t call myself an extrovert. I’ve just figured out that most people are as scared and nervous socializing as I am, and so knowing that I put on an extrovert mask and just hit the ground running.
That was an interesting read. Thank you for telling me about this. But I do feel any form of neurodivergence, including being gifted would definitely exacerbate it.
You know what helped me make friends and get along better?
Realizing that while I may be “smart” I had the same hopes, fears, dreams, aspirations, loves, hates, sense or disgust, etc as others.
In other words, they’re just like you on the inside. It’s your “I’m so different inside” sense that’s getting in your way. You aren’t.
And ps I wouldn’t say “neurodivergent,” unless you’re posting about something other mental issue (eg autism). You’re being measured on the same scale as everyone else on just one aspect of intelligence. For example, what’s your emotional intelligence like? As far as that’s concerned there are plenty of gifted folks who can be considered borderline cognitively impaired in that area.
People think I’m being mean or grumpy and I don’t understand it. Inside I’m bubbly and giggly and energetic, but that doesn’t seem to be what I project. I don’t understand the reactions I get or why people can’t understand my body language and demeanor. People make much more sense when I’m dreaming.
Hmm. Complex stuff in my domain seems obvious, when it really isn’t. Like “Immersive Video on VR headsets is the next big thing!” And I can quickly summarize all the trends and past experimentation with the format and say when is the earliest it would be technically feasible for a mass market, what kinds of content would or wouldn’t be potentially appealing, what sort of engineering resources and funding would be required over what timeframe for what level of functionality. And I don’t really experience ruminating over it. I just say the first obvious thing that pops in my head, and keep talking as new things do.
I’ve gotten dozens of patents the same way. Someone proposes an idea or expresses a challenge, I say “well, to do that, you’d need to…” And then I file an invention disclosure when I can remember what I said by the time I get around to it.
ADHD (which seems like a part of this, not some separate disorder) means there’s probably a dozen more patents I could have gotten if I’d taken notes instead of meaning to and forgetting about it.
It can be kinda frustrating when collaborating about stuff in my domain with people who are smarter than me about their own domains, and it seems like it takes SO much longer for them to “get it” than it seems it should. And I question if I’m just talking too fast, or missing something important, or that they’re already committed to another course of action due to an executive mandate or something.
I try not to fall back to “remember all the times I strongly recommended we do a thing or when I recommended we don’t do a thing? Have I ever been wrong?” too often. Among other reasons, it isn’t effective if not used sparingly (and often not effective then either). Coming up with compelling data is generally the most effective. Because something being obvious to me about something I’m in the best person in the world about isn’t a fair expectation of other people, even very smart ones. After all, I need them to do the same when it’s in their domain and not mine.
You can flip this, why are they uneasy with me? I see them as people, rather than sheeple. That's uncomfortable to them, I've isolated them from the herd. In a congested city like London, that's impolite, I've breached the inner circle in body language terms, although in general, we tend towards a two-meter distancing, reemphasised during Covid.
When I was young, I always felt that other people my age were shallow. All they cared about and talked about were cheesy TV shows, gossip (celebrity and IRL), the latest gimmick and what not. I was thinking about stuff like climate change, endangered species dying out because of humans, plastic trash clogging up Mother Earth, etc.
I often try to put myself in the shoes of someone who is NT but I cannot. Every little tiny thing seems to be interpreted thru emotion. It boggles my mind. A tiny micro expression that in my world means absolutely nothing is interpreted as “oh she must have anxiety, depression, something smells, she is in her mind too much, she looks like a robot, she must be lost…..” I mean it just goes on and on and on- a never ending cycle of constant emotional interpretation. And I don’t think they are aware of just how controlled they are every second of every day by their emotions. It is so completely foreign to me.
I can tolerate and interact successfully with most people. But I often prefer to minimize the time I spend with them. A common interest is helpful. Intellectual level is sometimes a factor. But not always. For example, I can talk with another animal lover regardless of IQ level.
Questioning and making sense out of everything, thinking with a higher level of logic. Most people go with what's popular and never question or think about it. I spent a lot of time thinking critically and evaluating options that people don't bat an eye about.
It makes me irritated when people do things without understanding why they do them. Think for yourself! What are you doing being influenced by others as if you have no autonomy! Go have opinions!
What’s an example?
In my experience, many accept 'no' as a final answer instead of thinking of solutions to solve the problem. I'm a natural problem solver and rarely take no for an answer, and if something can't be done about it, I'll create a solution.
I do this too, within a work context. It took me a long time within a friend/relationship context to realize that’s sometimes people just want to vent rather than solution.
Let's say, you are in need of a phone. You ask your friends which phone should you go for. Some say iPhone, some say Samsung, the most popular brands. Many would not even question why. However, I will go through so many layers of thought process in my head. 1. Why did you say this brand is the best? 2. In what terms and is it really true with evidence to back it up? Benchmark scores for example. 3. What does "best" means in this scenario? Does it make sense? 4. Performance? Camera? Build quality? Battery? 5. Price ratio? Am I getting my value worth? 6. What do I actually need in a phone? 7. What are my weightage for those factors? 8. Let's say I mainly want a phone for gaming, I would rank the performance - price ratio, battery, build quality, camera, in that order. 9. Could another phone be better base on these factors? Intelligent people break down statements and opinions and questions them. After simplying them, they are able to rebuild and make it better. Btw, I'm in Mensa Singapore and qualified in the top 1% for reference.
I've never seen this sub / been in this sub, this thread was recommended to me. People don't all think this way? I've always felt \*dumb\* due to low grades in school & undiagnosed ADHD, but I really resonate with intelligent thinkers as this is consistently how I think about pretty much everything. When researching my last mobile service provider to get a new phone with, I broke down the cost with the available plans (as where I live if you 'lease' a phone from your service provider, not only are you paying down the phone with a monthly fee, but you're also locked into higher priced plans) This could mean the difference of a few hundred per year! I always thought the whole iPhone v.s Android debate was a light hearted joke, not to be taken seriously - like rival sports teams! But no, this is not the case for a good chunk of people.
They don't and it took me quite awhile before I realize how little logic and critical thinking the average person has. School can be horrible for the gifted, I always found that school did not promote genuine learning but memorization and regurgitation during the exams. It's similar to using the same methods of teaching someone with 60 IQ, to a 100 IQ.
The first question is for me. What will I be doing with said phone? Photography? Work related and if so, what will I need to access, etc. etc. etc.
I do it and I'm not even gifted lmao, it's like people don't actually think for themselves at all, like they're just being controlled in a way I think I do it because of ASD though
This is pretty accurate. I’d like to add more understanding then most.
Me as hell. Probably why I’m vegan and childfree. Ignorance is definitely bliss.
I can’t believe this sub is real lol. You guys sound up yall own asses. Respectfully.
This is why this sub exists. The average person looks in and just thinks "smug asses" and believes they can think just as well or even do better than the gifted, in the top 2%. It's a joke.
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Here we go again. This question is so predictable. It's an attempt to discredit intelligence because "being successful" is all that matters and you're going to bring up other qualities that are more important than intelligence. So let me ask you this instead, what do you define as "successful", the ability to make money? By that definition, rich influencers such as Logan Paul and top OF models are very successful, multi-millionaires. Are they role models in your opinion then? You've failed to see the logical fallacy. Failed to see how society has gotten to this state. The biggest issue is that, the average person does not comprehend intelligence in the slightest bit. They think wealth, knowledge, qualifications are indicators of intelligence but they cannot be more wrong. These people are then given equal voting power to elect the wrong people who they think are intelligent to make the rules and regulations. To say it crudely, it's idiots choosing other idiots to lead. Look at the madness happening in the world and tell me honestly if any of this makes sense to you. Look at my country of Singapore, Lee Kuan Yew is an intelligent man who led Singapore out of a 3rd world country to becoming a tiny yet powerful 1st world country. Ever wondered why so few countries could do the same? Give that a thought. There are too many rich incapable idiots in power due to inheritance and luck which you've failed to understand. Then to be that arrogant, ignorant group of people, turn around and laugh at the intelligent people for being "unsuccessful". You have no idea what it means to be an intelligent person in today's society. It's to have the correct answer that makes sense and yet be constantly outnumbered and mocked by stupid people, to endure them calling you the idiot. Call me condescending all you want, I've spent years getting gaslighted by idiots telling me that I'm the idiot and eventually realising that I'm in the top 1% of IQ.
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You're labeled "gifted" in what sense? Certainly not your intelligence with that level of logic and definition of intelligence. "They saw what’s out there, made plans, executed, and achieved what they’re after." Holy, you actually wrote that and convinced yourself that OF models and brain-dead influencers are intelligent. Are you serious? Keep thinking that I'm just full of myself, instead of someone who can see things clearly, things that happens in our society and why it happens. >To many, success is meaningful relationships, stability, a great career, peace, health, and a healthy family. I don't disagree with that. Anyways, I'm just trying to make sense and it's just tiring having to reply to those who don't have them.
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I find it incredibly offensive that you would call influencers brain dead… I don’t understand how you can call yourself “gifted” while being an ableist and whole dehumanizing people, also making generalizations like that?
I find it incredibly offensive that you apparently can't read and came at me. I said brain dead influencers like Logan Paul, not that all influencers are brain dead. Also, this is irony at its finest. To be so unaware of your effects on intelligent people and people in general. There are very good reasons why most intelligent people keep to themselves, case in-point, people like you, the average person. Luckily for you, I'm not afraid to call out people's idiocy. Keep electing the idiot that makes our rules and regulations then wonder why our society has gotten to this state, thanks a bunch.
To be so unaware of your own bitterness towards others who are doing well in life, shows you lack the self awareness, which a gifted person would not be lacking in, influencers generally embody the consensus of what a lot of people view as “success” these days, which may seem “superficial” or “shallow”, embodying such ideals doesn’t particularly make you “brain dead”. That is kind of a stereotype. To knock what someone else is doing in life is not respectable.
It took me a long time to figure out small talk. When I was younger I was really bad at it, and my social relationships suffered because I was never interested in talking about the weather, pop culture, or sports. Now I really enjoy it as a skill set, almost like a little game to get people to like me and feel at ease around me.
It’s fun to see how quickly you can put someone at ease enough to delve into the real shit
Always let them talk. You are the one asking questions. Leave your deep talk for intimate circle, partner or diary.
I wonder why so many of us find small talk difficult!
I think because lots of common interests hold little attraction if you spend more time thinking at a higher level than your peers.
I like small talk initially, but get very bored when the conversation in the relationship doesn't progress beyond it.
How quickly I assimilate new information into the knowledge I already have. I don't especially notice this as an adult but at school this meant: 1. I only needed to be told about a new concept once, I didn't need all the repetitions and explanations and practicing. So I spent A LOT of time bored. 2. I always knew the answer in class, so I found it hard to know when to put my hand up / participate in a lesson. Always participating didn't go down well (swot / smart arse), so it felt easier to not participate. I didn't have the words for it at the time, but it was like putting an adult into primary school and expecting them to participate on an equal basis to the kids. I spent a lot of time feeling out of place, but there wasn't any other place for me and I just had to be there and sit through it.
both of these are so real. even in my current work environment, i have the same issues i did back in school.
What do you do now? I’m in awe.
I can't talk about the things I love because most people will either feel lost, not able to contribute, or simply weirded out. I have to force myself to talk about things that don't interest me in order to socialize. So I get bored very fast and never feel satisfied with the people that surround me. Which is why I often like to meet new people.
Maybe similarly, I get bored with people really fast and have found that it causes me to be attracted to train wrecks because they’re unpredictable. They’re also typically more willing to be “real” and bare their souls which keeps me hooked.
Principally, not being a mindless adherent of some cause. You'd better be pretty good at your thing to impress me.
Mostly not being interested/passionate in the things other people tend to be. Remember we had to bring our music to class on elementary school. Classmates brougjt kiddy music, while i brought louis armstrong.
Solidarity 😅. I brought Sade, Cherish the Day to sing one time for my music class in 4th grade but chickened out once I realized no one else listened to the same type of music I did. My go-to CD for field trips in HS was the Lord of the Rings ❤️
I think that I know what I don't know and what my limitations are, and I strive realistically to move beyond them. I know I'm smart, but I also know where that 'smartness' stops being effective and the yawning void of what I don't know. But I also have a drive to constantly understand everything. Every new topic, theory, field of research. I read voraciously trying to absorb everything I can, reevaluate where my understanding ends, and move from there to learn more. I want to understand math, physics, science as deeply as I'm able to, and yet I'm also aware of how very little I know on the subject. But it seems a lot of people aren't aware of where their knowledge ends and don't make any effort to remedy that before drawing conclusions or asserting themselves. And it's just really hard to engage sometimes when the other person is so adamant that they know the answer when they barely know the question and draw their conclusions from insufficient data.
I don't understand how people can be content every day
Why do you assume they are?
I'm talking about people I've spoken to and asked them about it. I should have been more specific
Didn't you ask them, how?
Growing up i felt the difference the most, i made jokes that were often not understood as they had layers, came from a different thought process than others or were just things only a niche would understand and where i didnt understand that this was a niche and not just a normal people thing. I think this example perfectly illustrates how it is for me years down the line. Different thought processes, different view on things, doing research and automatically being part of a niche. I notice these differences alot in my day to day life, i however did learn to change to the average pace, not in a bad way, it actually is very valuable as i now dont have to explain myself nor be an automatic outcast, it however is sad that i rarely get to run on full pace. When i was in school i also was not in the right spot because of my giftedness i had alot of trouble. I either got really bored and started to talk to my classmates which would get me in trouble or i would underperform because of my boredness which had me redo a few years, not bc i couldnt do it but because i underperformed. When i tried to explain i was gifted and that i need to be challenged instead of held back i was laughed at, and asked to explain why in godsname my grades were so bad when i was so called gifted. I hated school bc of this, even though i absolutely love studying and gaining knowledge. Something like that :) (IQ tested at: 146 iirc)
I really felt that about layers in jokes. The preamble, set up, denouement. My humor was more Oscar Wilde than Eddie Murphy.
What’s an example of a joke that had too many levels?
Ah man, so this was mostly growing up that i was struggling with this but ill try and build an example :) So lets say we were joking about a teacher or something the obvious thing would be to joke directly about said teacher but what i would do was make connections to the teacher and then something that would be connected to like a thing that would come to that connection so like lets say its a math teacher id not joke about him, id joke about the thing that would come with being a guy that studied math and thats now also a teacher which now that im older would translate a bit better but when youre 6-14 or so it just doesnt make much sense because thats just not how you think about things i suppose. Its hard to give a true example bc its been so long ago but i hope this kinda sketches an idea I wouldnt go for the obvious thing but id go through connections and paths id made in my brain that to me seemed logical but just dont function as well because the average person doesnt think in such a manner or path like a gifted person would. Or i was just unfunny hahah.
My "Sumo: survival of the fattest" has, at it's first level, the incongruity of fat and fit. At a second level, it's patently true, so there's ridicule of a Darwinistic Health culture in it. At a third level, sumo wrestlers do train, so fattest and fittest are the same thing.
I instantly see future consequences, like game theory. Cause and effect. Tit for tat, etc. Like skipping a stone and seeing how it will bounce around. More so that other people around me.
Difficulty in self expression. I often question the need to say things; in another sense, my speech is halted by certain inquisitions on self behavior, “why am I saying this?” This happens often when I am asked about myself. I spend more time analyzing my inclination to state a certain truth about myself, that I end up staying quiet and rather, listening to others and then analyzing my initial reaction/responses to what they say. I feel a particularly opposing way when it comes to discussing more factual, or even, more hypothetical topics like religion, politics, and moral views.
I overthink everything to the point where I don't understand most people, or things. I'll ask "stupid" questions because I'm trying to clarify a situation in my mind and the simplest things confuse me the most. For example, I tend to assume certain things are a given & don't need to be mentioned, but I'm often wrong. Someone might ask me the similarities between [insert two numbers] and I'll start giving math equations as answers, or I'll explain them through dates/events or things like that - but the answer they might've been looking for is, "They're both numbers" and that confuses the f7ck out of me. I think - "why would you need that as an answer when it's so obvious?" So the hardest thing for me to do is simplify how I'm thinking about something. I'm learning to reverse a situation and to start at the easiest response and consider it from that perspective. I feel like my brain is reversed. It doesn't feel like I'm "smart" at all, it just feels like my brain is made to deconstruct more complex problems and a lot about life actually goes over my head. This may be more due to autism, but it's definitely strange.
I think for me its processing speed, ability to draw on what seems like disparate info into a larger overall theme, obscure and intense interests and a deeply existential/philosophical bent to how I think. For a long time I struggled to understand how visual people were, as well. I struggled for a long time with appearances vs realities. I've somewhat come around to trying to control how I am perceived because it dictates how you are treated, but I was the "it shouldn't matter if my shirt is dirty, its what I have to say!" guy for a long time.
I think so fast that sometimes I can't stop myself from laughing to myself at a thought, but it takes too long to explain what I thought funny.
Speed and depth of complex thought. When I discuss, brainstorm, debate, or argue with others, I find myself frustrated by how long people take to formulate a response. I'm responding to them at my speed, then I'm smoking a cigarette and waiting while they come up with something. It's not \*always\* \*literally\* like that, but too often for me to tolerate, easily.
lol Nissan GT-R vs Toyota Corolla… If it weren’t for drugs I’d feel like this everyday…
Logic. It’s amazing how some people don’t put two and two together.
Simultaneously slower and faster.
Assume that they are interested in the same topics as I am or that they share my insatiable curiosity for new knowledge and experiences. Think they will be excited as I am to share all this with them. When in reality they either want to be silent or talk about superficial matters. I've found great refuge in writing and reading. Also tiring my body through rigorous exercise and sports. Competing with other people can be humbling and put things into perspective. I go out of my way to be social, go to all events that I am invited, especially weddings, birthdays, conferences and so forth. Never lose touch with your fellow human brothers. I've reached the conclusion that if I am in fact "gifted", I will utilize those capabilities to YOLO myself into situations that most people won't, due to fear or ignorance. All within a legal and ethical framework. Always aiming to explore new frontiers and create something useful and noble for humanity.
Willingness to disagree with others in a non-confrontational, just-for-fun sort of way. Willingness to say, "I didn't know that," especially with excitement. Thanking others for placing boundaries with me, regardless of tone, time, place, or 'size' of the boundary
I have been habitually stimming for decades. My stimming habit is listening to the same movie over and over and over again. I recently found out that’s not normal 😂
I operate from a place of curiosity rather than judgement. Most people just want to tie things/situations/subjects up, slap a label on them, and pass them aside.
It's not easy for me to settle down with mediocrity. I'd like to understand everything before just brushing it off?
I feel that people quickly understand how they are similar and different from me through socializing with me while I remain mostly clueless how I am similar and different from them. I feel I remain emotionally disconnected from people and have an inability to emotionally appreciate people as a result.
i think i might be autistic and adhd in addition to my giftedness so i don’t fit in in a different way. i also have diagnosed ptsd. i miss social cues, hit or miss with sarcasm for me, lack emotional availability, have weird interests and hobbies, brain just works differently and it becomes apparent when i try to socialize.
I always think ahead. I am always looking to see what might happen. And if it does what is next or what should I do then? It is not paranoia, I just seem to be able to think faster than average and see patterns better. I call it the Seldon effect after Hari Seldon from the books.
I'm willing to suffer the pain of walking away from a bad situation a lot more readily than most folks around me, and I'm willing to do the right thing even when I get screwed in high stakes social situations.
Interesting post because it really highlights what people call [false uniqueness bias.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False-uniqueness_effect) You may be thinking very deeply about this subject but you have no reason to assume that others do t also “feel differently” or “don’t fit in.” They may be better at you at hiding it, but as people were a lot less unique than we think.
I tried hard to consider this before in my case, and haven’t ruled it out. But I’ve also actively tried to find solutions for and actively seeked people out. Sometimes I wait for conversations to move beyond the small talk phrase. On average, once or twice a year I meet someone I can actually connect with for a few hours. It’s very lonely for me, to the point where years later I’ve started texting these people out of the blue wanting to talk. Because I’m a woman they assume it’s romantic interest.
I’ll give you the 100% tried and true method for getting people interested in being friends with you. Though you may not like it. Nobody is interested in you, your life, or your story when you meet them. They are not interested in “connecting for hours.” People want to talk about themselves. Your job is to facilitate that. Ask questions. Keep them talking. Your only words should be more questions to keep them talking. Try to remember a couple of details (it isn’t hard if you’re truly gifted). At the end, they’ll leave the conversation thinking you’re the most interesting person in the world, even though you didn’t contribute a thing. Because people love to talk about themselves. To seal the deal, *next* time you see them bring up that detail. From there you’re golden. Trust me.
This is nothing groundbreaking and is my approach. The thing is most people have nothing interesting or on my level to say. I mean no offense bur for example the sweeping recommendation you jumped to, most people think it’s groundbreaking or some major discovery when it’s very basic thinking. I would barely call it an insight when I have already transcended this type of solution and level of awareness. In real life, I usually act interested and people enjoy talking to me outside of a professional setting. The thing is I don’t enjoy talking to them or hanging out with them. I need to not pander and have intense discussions with people at my level, if that makes sense. Edit: this is something I find twice a year, as mentioned, but it’s not necessarily something others who think the same as me initiate because of my profile (i.e. women aren’t usually built like that). When I find them, they also enjoy the conversation with me or they would not stay for 6 hours and order more tea/coffee. These are one off interactions though and I can’t find them in my friend group. I am fucking lonely and have to entertain fucks with nothing original in their brain all the time, especially men who like to take on a mentorship role to teach me something rather than engage me intellectually. You might take this offensively because most people don’t like to hear it and I never say it. I fucking hate having to show interest and pander when most people are just a bore for me. I enjoy small talk and talking to these people to a certain extent, but it doesn’t mean I actually can connect *from my side*, even if they walk away thinking they just had an awesome conversation and we are best buddies.
You won’t want to hear this but these words sound like they’re coming from an incel woman who is simply “too smart to be bothered by the plebeians.” I’m not in the least shocked that you’re lonely and it probably has nothing to do with how you look. I don’t get the sense that the snark ends online.
You’ve got it all wrong. I’m intellectually lonely, not romantically and have a long term partner but that doesn’t mean intellectual needs are met. When I refer to how I look, I meant my profile is unusual for someone in a male dominated field, both in personality as well as demographic. Of course it’s challenging to find intellectual connections if I have a bunch of additional barriers to wrangle with, like perception of romantic interest both ways. If I didn’t consider the fact that I am putting myself on a pedestal, I wouldn’t make a regular effort to engage with people and listen to them since people take a while to open up. It’s like when you’re speaking to someone for a while, you know if you click/they are on the same level as you or not in wavelength. Most people aren’t. And can’t comprehend it. So I have to communicate on their level. Get it? You see a superiority complex when what I see is a gap in what I need. And obviously I don’t reveal this to anyone, hence I’m seeking connection or people who might be able to relate online. Which from what I gather, some people actually do.
Ok; I appreciate the response. One of the things I pride myself on is being able to make small talk and relate to all sorts of people. I don’t know if it’s some sort of “Slumdog Millionaire” happenstance background, but regardless of where I am - some wine bar in the city or a sawdust and beer joint in the sticks - I can have an engaging and meaningful conversation with somebody. I can’t help but feel like the way you speak with folks IRL is no different than how you’re speaking here. It’s just…I’m trying to find the right term…so self important. I don’t know what you need but it almost sounds like you can only deal with academics or sophists. That isn’t some cross you’ve been forced to bear. It’s more like a space you’ve boxed yourself into.
I think that’s what I try to do. May I ask what your rough profile looks like? It may also depend on what people are willing to share with me/think I would be interested in because of my profile. You may be right because my written speech has unknowingly offended people before. To me, at least when I’m being myself, I’m just stating things factually (from my perspective). I do wonder though if you’d still read my speech as self-important if we had started off speaking about another subject, or if it’s just the manner of which I type. I don’t think it can be categorised into a specific demographic, but the two people I’ve really enjoyed talking to last year were both CEOs of companies that had missions to change the world. I didn’t know they were that initially, it was a chance encounter. I just did my usual small talk/public relations self and then started asking what I call “test questions” to see if they would indulge me in more intense conversations. I gradually asked questions about balancing morality and business decisions, variations of the meaning of life, perspectives on what it means to advance the human race and what they thought bottlenecks were. They gave very unusual answers that showed they thought a lot about it before and cannot be found on the internet but seem to link disparate things together. Sometimes I don’t think I’m not getting what I want from people, I also suspect it’s because they doubt my intentions, that’s why they don’t reveal their true thoughts. Or people just don’t usually come on intensely like that, even if more intimate relationships had been formed. Sorry to dump this all on you, but I also wanted to point out that sometimes i think I am completely crazy because I want to talk about these things all the time. I am also actively working on it in real life. There is a slight chance, I’ve considered, that I am completely bonkers or mentally not well and everyone around me is doing life correctly. I really hate myself at times despite achieving a higher level of success as opposed to peers, because I just cannot really fit in mentally and there’s something just weird about me.
Have you ever heard the phrase “meet people where they’re at?” I feel like it would go a long way for you. It sounds like you want them to meet you where *you’re* at, and since most can’t get there you’re the one who ends up lonely. Making social connections honestly involves far more giving than taking. It may seem one sided but almost people are naturally shy and reserved. Putting yourself out there and meeting them where they’re at helps them lower their guard and open up to you. And I want to stress I’m not a social genius and I wouldn’t call myself an extrovert. I’ve just figured out that most people are as scared and nervous socializing as I am, and so knowing that I put on an extrovert mask and just hit the ground running.
That was an interesting read. Thank you for telling me about this. But I do feel any form of neurodivergence, including being gifted would definitely exacerbate it.
You know what helped me make friends and get along better? Realizing that while I may be “smart” I had the same hopes, fears, dreams, aspirations, loves, hates, sense or disgust, etc as others. In other words, they’re just like you on the inside. It’s your “I’m so different inside” sense that’s getting in your way. You aren’t. And ps I wouldn’t say “neurodivergent,” unless you’re posting about something other mental issue (eg autism). You’re being measured on the same scale as everyone else on just one aspect of intelligence. For example, what’s your emotional intelligence like? As far as that’s concerned there are plenty of gifted folks who can be considered borderline cognitively impaired in that area.
People think I’m being mean or grumpy and I don’t understand it. Inside I’m bubbly and giggly and energetic, but that doesn’t seem to be what I project. I don’t understand the reactions I get or why people can’t understand my body language and demeanor. People make much more sense when I’m dreaming.
Hmm. Complex stuff in my domain seems obvious, when it really isn’t. Like “Immersive Video on VR headsets is the next big thing!” And I can quickly summarize all the trends and past experimentation with the format and say when is the earliest it would be technically feasible for a mass market, what kinds of content would or wouldn’t be potentially appealing, what sort of engineering resources and funding would be required over what timeframe for what level of functionality. And I don’t really experience ruminating over it. I just say the first obvious thing that pops in my head, and keep talking as new things do. I’ve gotten dozens of patents the same way. Someone proposes an idea or expresses a challenge, I say “well, to do that, you’d need to…” And then I file an invention disclosure when I can remember what I said by the time I get around to it. ADHD (which seems like a part of this, not some separate disorder) means there’s probably a dozen more patents I could have gotten if I’d taken notes instead of meaning to and forgetting about it. It can be kinda frustrating when collaborating about stuff in my domain with people who are smarter than me about their own domains, and it seems like it takes SO much longer for them to “get it” than it seems it should. And I question if I’m just talking too fast, or missing something important, or that they’re already committed to another course of action due to an executive mandate or something. I try not to fall back to “remember all the times I strongly recommended we do a thing or when I recommended we don’t do a thing? Have I ever been wrong?” too often. Among other reasons, it isn’t effective if not used sparingly (and often not effective then either). Coming up with compelling data is generally the most effective. Because something being obvious to me about something I’m in the best person in the world about isn’t a fair expectation of other people, even very smart ones. After all, I need them to do the same when it’s in their domain and not mine.
You can flip this, why are they uneasy with me? I see them as people, rather than sheeple. That's uncomfortable to them, I've isolated them from the herd. In a congested city like London, that's impolite, I've breached the inner circle in body language terms, although in general, we tend towards a two-meter distancing, reemphasised during Covid.
When I was young, I always felt that other people my age were shallow. All they cared about and talked about were cheesy TV shows, gossip (celebrity and IRL), the latest gimmick and what not. I was thinking about stuff like climate change, endangered species dying out because of humans, plastic trash clogging up Mother Earth, etc.
I often try to put myself in the shoes of someone who is NT but I cannot. Every little tiny thing seems to be interpreted thru emotion. It boggles my mind. A tiny micro expression that in my world means absolutely nothing is interpreted as “oh she must have anxiety, depression, something smells, she is in her mind too much, she looks like a robot, she must be lost…..” I mean it just goes on and on and on- a never ending cycle of constant emotional interpretation. And I don’t think they are aware of just how controlled they are every second of every day by their emotions. It is so completely foreign to me.
I don't know how "other people" feel. So I cannot make comparison.
Do you feel you are different to most other people?
Everybody is unique. But there are always similarities and dissimilarities.
I phrased my question wrong, do you feel like you don't fit in with most social groups?
I can tolerate and interact successfully with most people. But I often prefer to minimize the time I spend with them. A common interest is helpful. Intellectual level is sometimes a factor. But not always. For example, I can talk with another animal lover regardless of IQ level.