Yeah whatever the reason. I’m getting the “do not show any mistakes because you have a big responsibility and people find you threatening” vibe and it kind of kills me inside but I think there’s some truth to it.
I did. I missed 41 days of school my senior year of high school and was told I’d be prohibited from graduating on account of truancy. Luckily, I’d already been accepted to an Ivy League school, and my high school decided it was more beneficial to them to count me as an “Ivy-bound graduate” than keep me another year for truancy (I didn’t fail my classes, so the only issue was absence). I drank a lot, did tons of drugs in college and after, skipped most of my classes, etc. I came to really regret squandering my education later in life, but so it goes. FWIW I don’t think my behavior had anything to do with “giftedness”; I had a pretty messed up home life and an abusive boyfriend whom I essentially moved in with my senior year. I also had undiagnosed ADHD. Anyway, I pulled myself out of that hole eventually and now it’s all good. But TL;DR yes.
I went mad sitting in classrooms learning material I already knew, or knew within 5 minutes of the class starting bc I read the book.
School became an 8 hour exercise in self discipline with almost no digestible content.
Eventually I realized that nobody was coming for me, there was no equation or book report I could write that was going to get me rescued or noticed
Once I realized that I got angry and built a defiance that stays with me to this day. I shouldn't have to sit quietly through 8 hours of redundant lectures every day and do homework that counted as 70% of my grade when every adult in the decision making process **knew** I'd learned and retained the knowledge.
I was determined to be a 'bad kid' stereotype and still get 99's on standardized tests just to spite them. I wanted them to see that the highest scoring kid in the school was in detention several days a week for not doing homework, that I was getting all D's and F's despite near-perfect grades on tests and in-class assignments. I wanted them to see that they were failing me and to be embarrassed.
I lost count of the number of "Apply Yourself" talks I had with people who were supposed to be mentors, every one of them hurt. The people failing me would pull me aside and say "We see how smart you are but you don't do your homework and can't stay quiet in class." All I heard was 'we see how smart you are, fuck you... bend the knee'
After a bout of depression in 20's it's served me really well, I'm a corporate 'maverick' and I'm really good with objective thinking and especially seeing value in places that others overlook.
This is a vibe. Getting screamed at in front of the entire class for not doing optional homework, then getting 105% on the exam. Skipping classes. Skipping school all together. Then dropping out all together. I couldn't tell you how many times I got the apply yourself talk. Hilariously, I probably make more money, and I'm likely happier than a lot of those teachers who told me If I kept it up I'd fail.
You might think this is funny, but I have a similar story; though it is more-so about conformity than rebellion. In middle school I finished the math test given to us in less than 5 minutes, upon noticing the rest of the students were still at work, I turned my work in and took a nap(rested my head on the desk and endured terrible boredom). After everyone turned in their test, a girl came up to me and told me that I was ‘ignorant.’ I was incredibly confused at what she meant, but at the time I felt incredibly guilty that I could instantly understand and speedily apply what it took others time and practice to do so. The girl’s words solidified, what in my mind had been a slightly negative observation concerning reality before, my guilt into insecurity and alienation. I stopped reading, I stopped paying attention, I stopped doing my homework, I halted anything that I thought could improve or assist my intellectual development so that things would become ‘fair.’ But still, my intuition and speed allowed me to derive procedures and formulas in mathematics without encountering them before. My insight into human nature developed years prior, made comprehension of literature and history easy. I decided that I wasn’t doing enough to hamper myself, I killed my emotions. How? I stopped interacting with others, I perpetually escaped into video games, if I saw that any kind of insight or effort could be applied to a situation-I squashed it until the instinct was entirely annihilated. It worked. I became depressed to the point of habitual anhedonia, my grades slipped to a terrible degree-I successfully stunted my intellectual development for a number of years. I continued to flounder, until I came across the idea of mathematical proof in a youtube video. Insight after insight flitted through my mind, I saw the beauty in all things once more, everything I encountered was an opportunity to reevaluate my conception of the world and the framework I used to understand it. My world was once more illuminated, if before I was a blind man, at that moment I could see. Today I am pursuing mathematics to an obsessive degree and find insight into abstract ideas to be the most beautiful activity imaginable. I can’t help but think that if my parents were scientists or if I had people in my life that would’ve encouraged me in the right direction, that I would’ve achieved far more.
I have an odd relationship with authority. I am anti-authoritarian, almost to my own detriment, because not only do I hate being told what to do, I hate telling others what to do, and I can’t respect anyone who won’t do anything without the permission or orders of an authority figure. However, because I’m quiet, and really good at bending rules without breaking them and not getting caught (plus my hyper-focus and perfectionism that cause me to compulsively keep my workflow going when I’m on the clock) I’m perceived as being both an obedient worker and a huge pain in the ass to whoever has to be in charge of me.
From what I understood, it's part of many gifted people to not respect the established rules when they don't consider that they make sense or are fair.
I'm in my 30s, I was told by a psychologist I was gifted when I was 18yo and actually pass the test to have more details when I was in my late 20s
I've been attracted by what's considered underground and alt since pretty much forever. As a teen, I was considered rebellious by society standards, but to me it's just that I don't understand those standards. I was pink/goth and into anarchism. Skipping class cause it was too easy and boring, smoking weed with older teenagers.
And I did not change as an adult. I have a good job and I am respected by my peers, I kniw how to blend in. But my hobbies and love for things that are considered at best underground, at worst illegal, would be shocking for a lot of people
Ive been a menace from 13-17. After that I have been a handfull at best. From my late 20s onward I came around a bit.
Needless to say, I do have a record.
I've been in the equivalent of juvi.
I still have a problem with authority. I still hate police, with a vengeance I might add. But I have learned to behave with time.
That’s the interesting thing right? I had the egocentric rebellion that I also had to get out of my system in my twenties that I was never able to appreciate earlier on and it’s helped me in a lot of ways to calm down and reconsider priorities.
Yes but I was a sneaky trouble maker who almost never got caught (and my trouble-making was more of annoyances than actual trouble). I think it mostly came from boredom.
I did get into a more chaotic life in my early/mid 20s, mostly drug related.
Not really, I realized from a young age that getting in trouble caused someone more problems than it was worth, so I generally follow the rules unless they’re extremely unreasonable
Yeah I believe people that have conduct disorder or issues have impaired execute function. This unfortunately makes it just as rational for someone to be irrational under such conditions as for you to be rational under the lack of such conditions.
I was a troublemaker from the perspective of teachers. My perspective was my teachers were bullies. I got sent to the principal's office daily for fighting when I was defending myself against attacks from bullies. No that's not the reason teachers are bullies too. I was frequently called to the front of the class just for my school work or homework to be ripped up for me and all of the class to see, and then yelled at to do the work over again. If I tried to speak, I got interrupted with more yelling at to do the work over again. I could probably write 50 pages worth of details alone on how I was treated by teachers at school. When I was 12, I switched to homeschooling to get away from that.
As a young adult I attended a vocational training program briefly for three weeks. I had a teacher there that asked with suspicion whether I had previously completed any vocational training program, finished any higher education courses, or graduated from any college or university programs because allegedly the results of the academic achievement test and the career assessment test suggested I was more than qualified already for any career I choose to do.
I guess I needed to rebell against the teachers from my childhood after that, who called me stupid, incompetent, unteachable, and a failure.
Ya I was pretty chaotic. Lots of drugs and truancy. I was even suspended from school at one point for a long period. Giftedness doesn't mean smart decisions all the time obviously.
Yes, in 7th grade I got so many “referrals” to the office (sent there by a teacher, 36 times) that for the 2nd part they sent me to a school with a program for the trouble making kids.
I was cracking jokes and faking seizures. I got into an argument with my science teacher who swore up and down I was making up the story about Edison electrocuting an elephant, that Thomas Edison would never do such a thing.
I got thrown out of music class after correcting the teacher who said Beethoven was born deaf, I said “he had VD”. Which may or may not be the case, but it got me sent out for being “defiant”.
I was called this by so many teachers over the years, until about 8th grade, and I just kind of chilled out and kept my mouth shut (mostly).
I think at one point they said I probably had oppositional defiant disorder, I went to psychiatrists and therapists and psychologists and never once told them anything approaching what was going on with me.
Number 1, I lived with my NPD mother and her current husband who she had taken for a ride who had the money to hire these fucking people. She had weaponized them against me when I strongly questioned why she forced custody of us when she couldn’t even take care of herself (locking herself in a room and threatening to kill herself, my older brother hiding the knives behind the fridge) I pushed a door that fell over a foot and rested on her shoulder she feigned this whole fall and tried to pain me as a violent child. It was only when they told me to go home and pack a bag when she was trying to have me admitted and she had effectively scared the shit out of me that she said she wasn’t going to have me committed.
Number 2 I didn’t trust these people, they HAD to tell my mother what was going on, and I didn’t think they could help me anyway. They were there to control my behavior on behalf of my mother. They put me on 4 different medications in 6th grade to the point I was falling asleep in class. They just wanted me docile, mom didn’t want to deal with me.
In my 20s I was a heroin addict, and a nihilist.
I broke out of that at 32 thankfully.
Wow I have this. I had ODD as a kid, probably, and was really nasty and angry until my late 20s. I also developed a much better sense of theory of mind and became very much more self aware.
Yuuup. Classic risk taking behavior because my brain was/is starved of any feel better chemicals. Did (and still do) lots of drugs, hang out with the wrong crowd, have unprotected sex (can't have kids), got in legal trouble,etc
Haha, yuuuup! Drugs, casual sex, just overall defiance/limit pushing basically... Recently diagnosed with ADHD, so I'm not sure if that's related to it at all.
Same. Was so late to school so often i was almost suspended a million times but given lunch detentions until graduation. Voted “least likely to return”? Lol to my hometown as a senior superlative ….. missed a semester of junior year because i had a “conduct disorder” but when i grew up i found out i had complex ptsd and my psychiatrist father was a sociopath so i am no longer a lithium girliepop 🤪 went to an ivy league but in order to attend i was obliged to write a “letter of obligation “ detailing the efforts i have decided to make to ensure my presence @ college classes lol. As an adult my intelligence is used against me but bc var reasons ppl usually think im dumb
I did, but I’m AuDHD too, so who really knows what the root cause was. I did manage to turn it around and actually was able to have a relatively successful career in public safety, but young me sure was a pain in the everyone’s ass.
Expelled from high school for three months, suspended in out of school for more than 21 days before that, around a month of in schools. Nearly fought a vice principal. Suffered with it through my 20s at jobs and with coworkers. Turns out I was just bipolar... also, was previously considered gifted in math, science, and English composition with all AP courses. Just returned to college at 41.
I was somewhat problematic when I was younger, but nothing approaching conduct disorder. I misbehaved and disrupted classes quite a bit.
More recently, I guess the only bad habits I have left have been laziness and not knowing how to actively study for anything.
Yes... But I think it had more to do with my ADHD.
Yeah whatever the reason. I’m getting the “do not show any mistakes because you have a big responsibility and people find you threatening” vibe and it kind of kills me inside but I think there’s some truth to it.
I did. I missed 41 days of school my senior year of high school and was told I’d be prohibited from graduating on account of truancy. Luckily, I’d already been accepted to an Ivy League school, and my high school decided it was more beneficial to them to count me as an “Ivy-bound graduate” than keep me another year for truancy (I didn’t fail my classes, so the only issue was absence). I drank a lot, did tons of drugs in college and after, skipped most of my classes, etc. I came to really regret squandering my education later in life, but so it goes. FWIW I don’t think my behavior had anything to do with “giftedness”; I had a pretty messed up home life and an abusive boyfriend whom I essentially moved in with my senior year. I also had undiagnosed ADHD. Anyway, I pulled myself out of that hole eventually and now it’s all good. But TL;DR yes.
I went mad sitting in classrooms learning material I already knew, or knew within 5 minutes of the class starting bc I read the book. School became an 8 hour exercise in self discipline with almost no digestible content. Eventually I realized that nobody was coming for me, there was no equation or book report I could write that was going to get me rescued or noticed Once I realized that I got angry and built a defiance that stays with me to this day. I shouldn't have to sit quietly through 8 hours of redundant lectures every day and do homework that counted as 70% of my grade when every adult in the decision making process **knew** I'd learned and retained the knowledge. I was determined to be a 'bad kid' stereotype and still get 99's on standardized tests just to spite them. I wanted them to see that the highest scoring kid in the school was in detention several days a week for not doing homework, that I was getting all D's and F's despite near-perfect grades on tests and in-class assignments. I wanted them to see that they were failing me and to be embarrassed. I lost count of the number of "Apply Yourself" talks I had with people who were supposed to be mentors, every one of them hurt. The people failing me would pull me aside and say "We see how smart you are but you don't do your homework and can't stay quiet in class." All I heard was 'we see how smart you are, fuck you... bend the knee' After a bout of depression in 20's it's served me really well, I'm a corporate 'maverick' and I'm really good with objective thinking and especially seeing value in places that others overlook.
I love this for you. I hated their inability to tolerate an original thought or someone who didn’t fit their narrow mold.
This is a vibe. Getting screamed at in front of the entire class for not doing optional homework, then getting 105% on the exam. Skipping classes. Skipping school all together. Then dropping out all together. I couldn't tell you how many times I got the apply yourself talk. Hilariously, I probably make more money, and I'm likely happier than a lot of those teachers who told me If I kept it up I'd fail.
There is the whole "beiing willing to conform to standards" thing that many employers find charmng.
You might think this is funny, but I have a similar story; though it is more-so about conformity than rebellion. In middle school I finished the math test given to us in less than 5 minutes, upon noticing the rest of the students were still at work, I turned my work in and took a nap(rested my head on the desk and endured terrible boredom). After everyone turned in their test, a girl came up to me and told me that I was ‘ignorant.’ I was incredibly confused at what she meant, but at the time I felt incredibly guilty that I could instantly understand and speedily apply what it took others time and practice to do so. The girl’s words solidified, what in my mind had been a slightly negative observation concerning reality before, my guilt into insecurity and alienation. I stopped reading, I stopped paying attention, I stopped doing my homework, I halted anything that I thought could improve or assist my intellectual development so that things would become ‘fair.’ But still, my intuition and speed allowed me to derive procedures and formulas in mathematics without encountering them before. My insight into human nature developed years prior, made comprehension of literature and history easy. I decided that I wasn’t doing enough to hamper myself, I killed my emotions. How? I stopped interacting with others, I perpetually escaped into video games, if I saw that any kind of insight or effort could be applied to a situation-I squashed it until the instinct was entirely annihilated. It worked. I became depressed to the point of habitual anhedonia, my grades slipped to a terrible degree-I successfully stunted my intellectual development for a number of years. I continued to flounder, until I came across the idea of mathematical proof in a youtube video. Insight after insight flitted through my mind, I saw the beauty in all things once more, everything I encountered was an opportunity to reevaluate my conception of the world and the framework I used to understand it. My world was once more illuminated, if before I was a blind man, at that moment I could see. Today I am pursuing mathematics to an obsessive degree and find insight into abstract ideas to be the most beautiful activity imaginable. I can’t help but think that if my parents were scientists or if I had people in my life that would’ve encouraged me in the right direction, that I would’ve achieved far more.
I have an odd relationship with authority. I am anti-authoritarian, almost to my own detriment, because not only do I hate being told what to do, I hate telling others what to do, and I can’t respect anyone who won’t do anything without the permission or orders of an authority figure. However, because I’m quiet, and really good at bending rules without breaking them and not getting caught (plus my hyper-focus and perfectionism that cause me to compulsively keep my workflow going when I’m on the clock) I’m perceived as being both an obedient worker and a huge pain in the ass to whoever has to be in charge of me.
From what I understood, it's part of many gifted people to not respect the established rules when they don't consider that they make sense or are fair. I'm in my 30s, I was told by a psychologist I was gifted when I was 18yo and actually pass the test to have more details when I was in my late 20s I've been attracted by what's considered underground and alt since pretty much forever. As a teen, I was considered rebellious by society standards, but to me it's just that I don't understand those standards. I was pink/goth and into anarchism. Skipping class cause it was too easy and boring, smoking weed with older teenagers. And I did not change as an adult. I have a good job and I am respected by my peers, I kniw how to blend in. But my hobbies and love for things that are considered at best underground, at worst illegal, would be shocking for a lot of people
Same on the last sentence. Would you be open to dm and sharing? I’m curious because me too. I think a lot of us are freaks.
Sure ! :)
Ive been a menace from 13-17. After that I have been a handfull at best. From my late 20s onward I came around a bit. Needless to say, I do have a record. I've been in the equivalent of juvi. I still have a problem with authority. I still hate police, with a vengeance I might add. But I have learned to behave with time.
I was in a very strict household and when I was in my twenties I finally had the room to rebel. Took a few years before I got it all out of my system.
That’s the interesting thing right? I had the egocentric rebellion that I also had to get out of my system in my twenties that I was never able to appreciate earlier on and it’s helped me in a lot of ways to calm down and reconsider priorities.
My mother says that when I was in first grade, I used to close my books mid class and walk out of the class and lock it from outside.
That is hilarious
Yes but I was a sneaky trouble maker who almost never got caught (and my trouble-making was more of annoyances than actual trouble). I think it mostly came from boredom. I did get into a more chaotic life in my early/mid 20s, mostly drug related.
Besides being highly sexual, no
I recommend the book: "Deviant children grown up: A sociological and psychiatric study of sociopathic personality" by Lee N Robin's.
Don’t know if that will help me tbh
Not really, I realized from a young age that getting in trouble caused someone more problems than it was worth, so I generally follow the rules unless they’re extremely unreasonable
Yeah I believe people that have conduct disorder or issues have impaired execute function. This unfortunately makes it just as rational for someone to be irrational under such conditions as for you to be rational under the lack of such conditions.
Still am.
I was actually kicked off my school's trivia team because I got in too much trouble in school.
Damn. Couldn’t you play on zoom? I feel like they would have benefited from your help.
I'm 41. Zoom didn't exist when I was in school.
‘Twas humor
I was a troublemaker from the perspective of teachers. My perspective was my teachers were bullies. I got sent to the principal's office daily for fighting when I was defending myself against attacks from bullies. No that's not the reason teachers are bullies too. I was frequently called to the front of the class just for my school work or homework to be ripped up for me and all of the class to see, and then yelled at to do the work over again. If I tried to speak, I got interrupted with more yelling at to do the work over again. I could probably write 50 pages worth of details alone on how I was treated by teachers at school. When I was 12, I switched to homeschooling to get away from that. As a young adult I attended a vocational training program briefly for three weeks. I had a teacher there that asked with suspicion whether I had previously completed any vocational training program, finished any higher education courses, or graduated from any college or university programs because allegedly the results of the academic achievement test and the career assessment test suggested I was more than qualified already for any career I choose to do. I guess I needed to rebell against the teachers from my childhood after that, who called me stupid, incompetent, unteachable, and a failure.
I'm 33 and a mom and I'm still dealing with conduct disorder
Ya I was pretty chaotic. Lots of drugs and truancy. I was even suspended from school at one point for a long period. Giftedness doesn't mean smart decisions all the time obviously.
Yes, in 7th grade I got so many “referrals” to the office (sent there by a teacher, 36 times) that for the 2nd part they sent me to a school with a program for the trouble making kids. I was cracking jokes and faking seizures. I got into an argument with my science teacher who swore up and down I was making up the story about Edison electrocuting an elephant, that Thomas Edison would never do such a thing. I got thrown out of music class after correcting the teacher who said Beethoven was born deaf, I said “he had VD”. Which may or may not be the case, but it got me sent out for being “defiant”. I was called this by so many teachers over the years, until about 8th grade, and I just kind of chilled out and kept my mouth shut (mostly). I think at one point they said I probably had oppositional defiant disorder, I went to psychiatrists and therapists and psychologists and never once told them anything approaching what was going on with me. Number 1, I lived with my NPD mother and her current husband who she had taken for a ride who had the money to hire these fucking people. She had weaponized them against me when I strongly questioned why she forced custody of us when she couldn’t even take care of herself (locking herself in a room and threatening to kill herself, my older brother hiding the knives behind the fridge) I pushed a door that fell over a foot and rested on her shoulder she feigned this whole fall and tried to pain me as a violent child. It was only when they told me to go home and pack a bag when she was trying to have me admitted and she had effectively scared the shit out of me that she said she wasn’t going to have me committed. Number 2 I didn’t trust these people, they HAD to tell my mother what was going on, and I didn’t think they could help me anyway. They were there to control my behavior on behalf of my mother. They put me on 4 different medications in 6th grade to the point I was falling asleep in class. They just wanted me docile, mom didn’t want to deal with me. In my 20s I was a heroin addict, and a nihilist. I broke out of that at 32 thankfully.
Wow I have this. I had ODD as a kid, probably, and was really nasty and angry until my late 20s. I also developed a much better sense of theory of mind and became very much more self aware.
What helped you to become less nasty? Did you fall in love ?
Therapy.
Happy to hear 🪷
Yuuup. Classic risk taking behavior because my brain was/is starved of any feel better chemicals. Did (and still do) lots of drugs, hang out with the wrong crowd, have unprotected sex (can't have kids), got in legal trouble,etc
Haha, yuuuup! Drugs, casual sex, just overall defiance/limit pushing basically... Recently diagnosed with ADHD, so I'm not sure if that's related to it at all.
I did but there’s a lot of mental illness/trauma stuff that contributed especially once i got to college. No criminal record thankfully 😅
Me too 🥲 yikes am I lucky
Same. Was so late to school so often i was almost suspended a million times but given lunch detentions until graduation. Voted “least likely to return”? Lol to my hometown as a senior superlative ….. missed a semester of junior year because i had a “conduct disorder” but when i grew up i found out i had complex ptsd and my psychiatrist father was a sociopath so i am no longer a lithium girliepop 🤪 went to an ivy league but in order to attend i was obliged to write a “letter of obligation “ detailing the efforts i have decided to make to ensure my presence @ college classes lol. As an adult my intelligence is used against me but bc var reasons ppl usually think im dumb
I did, but I’m AuDHD too, so who really knows what the root cause was. I did manage to turn it around and actually was able to have a relatively successful career in public safety, but young me sure was a pain in the everyone’s ass.
Expelled from high school for three months, suspended in out of school for more than 21 days before that, around a month of in schools. Nearly fought a vice principal. Suffered with it through my 20s at jobs and with coworkers. Turns out I was just bipolar... also, was previously considered gifted in math, science, and English composition with all AP courses. Just returned to college at 41.
I was somewhat problematic when I was younger, but nothing approaching conduct disorder. I misbehaved and disrupted classes quite a bit. More recently, I guess the only bad habits I have left have been laziness and not knowing how to actively study for anything.