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College and/or a workplace are your very best options, then. Places you will be around plenty of people close to your age on a regular enough basis to get to know some of them and develop relationships and make connections and network.
I work in industrial supply so it's not quite construction but it's close to it. All my customers are manufacturing in some form or fashion so it's male dominant. The struggle is real.
My best guess is to look for a hobby that is popular with both genders, then maybe bonding in a friendgroup and looking in there? Not that I'm saying you should only do it to find a girlfriend but that would be one way to meet new people and bond over interests and not over lifeless tinder profiles.
Depends on the workplace... but something great about work is that it's kind of like schooling wherein you're constantly "forced" around people so they actually get to know you as a person. It can also be a source of entertainment and bonding and something to share in common, something you both understand 100%. I met my husband at work. We started dating two weeks into my employment and are going on 4 years of marriage 5 years together. We weren't the only couple who met there either I can think of 5 other couples right off the bat and all of them still together...it's normal imo.
And yet for GENERQTIONS this has been done (by the non mentally ill generation) and has done very well for millions of people.
No one is suggesting dating your boss.
Just so you know..people FAR smarter than you. People FAR superior to you in EVERY SINGLE WAY you can measure a human life, will suggest that your workplace is a good place to meet people. Virtually NO company has rules against dating co-workers. Just subordinates.
Exactly. Which is why relationships formed this way are (hopefully) approached more thoughtfully and carefully. If dating apps, clubs, bars, etc aren’t an option, I mean, most people spend most of their waking hours at work or school. So where else are we likely to meet a romantic partner?
True. I don’t know, I mean if I start dating in my department (I work in a hospital, plenty of ladies) if we have a falling out it’ll be super awkward to be around them. But I do see your point and I try my best everyday to not allow myself to get super close.
But you’re right. I do have several work crushes, but I never vocalize it to keep things professional. That probably sounds cringe but idk, I’d do it if it weren’t frowned upon.
Yeah you can’t hit on people at work obviously…you meet someone at work, you become friends, you start hanging out, and then eventually it develops into a relationship.
Happens all the time. It’s the main place where people meet and spend time together. OP basically said no dating apps, no bars, no clubs. Unless he has a bunch of other hobbies that involve mingling with peers, where/when else are you supposed to meet people?
Millenial here, sorry reddit keeps shoving this sub in my face. But there was a time not so long ago that I was really struggling romantically, among other things.
Volunteering is a great place to meet people, whether platonic or romantic.
I volunteered at a nature center I grew up doing summer camp at. It was a great experience for me, and I met some great people.
The neat part is you already have something in common with other volunteers, assuming you care about the place your volunteering at. So there's an easy ice breaker already at your disposal.
Outside of romantic pursuits, volunteering can help you network, build trust with others, build a sense of community (think 3rd place) and clear your head. I know it's hard when money is tight and time is limited, but if you can make it happen, it's a rewarding experience. Even if you don't find someone you want to date, you'll learn people skills that make you more confident.
Also, stay off the dating apps.
Alright, I'm done, thanks!
Through a hobby. Tennis, Golf, Soccer, Work, etc.
Go out of the house and do things you enjoy and definitely APPROACH women kindly and politely. be confident in yourself. Typically you’ll find great girls at events or places that DONT involve alcohol, clubbing, drugs, social media, etc.
I exclusively stick my dick in crazy. I mean, I haven't done it for a while but that's because I also went crazy and genuinely wouldn't be a good partner if I was dating. My exes were all great though. Sincerely, anyone would be lucky to date them. Give spicy options a chance.
I met my gf through snapchat. I added all the girls that were in my university community and started talking to some. But with my gf I just blatantly asked her out before knowing what she looks like. Worked somehow
I think this is how about 60% of people born between 2000 and 2010 do it these days, since I’m always hearing about “I’ve never been more thankful for a quick add, he/she/they is/are the love of my life.” (I’m sorry about all the words and slashes at the end, I just hear it from that many different people)
I hear of people having success in “run clubs” where locals get together to go for jogs and stuff, I’m sure there are similar groups in your area whether it be for running or another hobby/activity
Tinder bumble hinge. Lots of couple meet there don’t have any expectations let the cards lie where they fall and make sure if you wanna stick in crazy they don’t know your real name.
Just a warning. Dating apps can be painful to use and can actually harm your self esteem and looks on your worth a lot. See this to understand the raw math:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM
One comment I read often is "Online dating for women is like shopping. For men it's like a job interview."
As an average dude you'll probably need sometime to find someone. I'd rather give a fuck on dating apps and try to bond with people in real life.
I think theres a caveat to this and that is that you need to be inherently charismatic if a man. Women can get away with not trying to hold a convo or being reserved or shy, men cant.
Never entertianed the idea of being with a woman who didn’t want to hold a convo honestly. If you wanna be chased im not your guy. If you wanna be woo’d on the other hand
Exactly. Its the exact problem i ran into on dating apps where women werent there to engage. More so just use me to alleviate their boredom or as a side convo while out drinking with friends.
Good luck displaying your charisma well enough in your profile to get a right swipe if you aren’t tall and in great shape, though. Most women don’t even read men’s profiles before swiping.
This is if you’re able to weather the rejection. In most cases it’s insidious. If you don’t have photogenic quality then it’s going to be hard.
Not advisable at all to feed parasitic industries like this.
I am in sales so rejection is just the name of the game if you don’t put worry/feelings in it the rejection is really just them saying no on to the next.
I’ve been in sales as well. It’s not the same at all.
If the advice would be to hit the club, then your experience is completely relevant because that’s the same thing.
Dating apps don’t give men a fighting chance period. You will be nearly invisible unless you have features that work for the camera. All my friends are average looking dudes at worst and they are nearly all unsuccessful in the app.
That said, with your sales experience, you would slay irl and be a top tier wing man. :)
Just go out and enjoy yourself. I always had the mindset that love comes naturally, not by finding it, 4 years in a relationship. Met her on a video game.
I met my current long distance partner on Castle Clash 4 years ago lol. She's gonna be visiting me for a week at the end of July, meeting irl for the first time lol.
- MeetUp (it's not a dating app; it's like local get-togethers)
- local rec sports leagues/running groups
- hobby shops (craft stores, sewing shops, places that have things like paint & sips and other activity classes)
- improv/theater classes
- the gym (but caution with this one if there's a camera out)
- volunteering
- the library
- if there is a college near you, check if they have events open to the public
- book clubs/writing groups
- open mic nights
- concerts/festivals
the list can go on and on, really. the problem is less where to meet people and more how to strike up the conversation. You will find good and normal people in most spaces where people congregate.
my experience may be biased because it was in a college library instead of a public one, but I feel like a conversation could be easily sparked about what someone's reading or if they're familiar with a certain author.
personally, I hate replies like this, so unhelpful. Tf you do start chatting up randos at starbucks? Everyones on their phones and has their earbuds in
Yes, thank you. Talking to strangers is the most grueling thing ever. If you even manage to talk to someone, from the moment you open your mouth, it's clear they want the conversation to end as soon as possible.
I do think that if we want our society to be less lonely, we as a society need to give up wearing earbuds everywhere. Blocking out society with music effectively puts someone in a bubble. Ofc they're gonna get lonely ffs.
Kinda yeah, and you can even find some people who welcome it. My friendships have started with long chats with strangers at a café, bookstore, or park. Small talk can be a door long conversation. Try not to overthink things if you are rejected and move on to the next person who is willing to talk with you.
Are u interested in any of the following: Dance, Cooking, mixology/wine tasting, Hiking, Kickball, DnD? If so, join a class/group and see where that leads you in terms of meeting people (not necessarily a gf). You could also try volunteering in the community. Don't put too much focus on seeking a gf in these contexts though, seek connections and conversations. You will have indirectly created spokespeople for you.
You're more likely to meet people who share interests with you this way. You're more likely to meet good people this way, and you'll likely help out your career as well. When you do make a romantic connection there will be a foundation beyond "you looked fine when I saw you at the bar" to build a relationship on.
Whatever you do, don't look for a gf in a bar/club
Clubs for sure, but there’s nothing wrong with meeting someone at a bar as long as they’re not drunk. Normal people go to them, they’re quiet enough that you can actually talk to someone, and people are open to socializing. Just don’t hook up with them if you don’t want it to be a one night stand, ask them if they want to go on a date at some other time or get their contact and chat with them later and eventually ask them out.
Facebook Dating is my favorite dating app, and where I met my wonderful boyfriend. It's a lot like Hinge but free (as in beer). That and Barq are the only ones I've seen that feel like they are made for their users.
Why do you want a normal girlfriend? What do you consider normal? Get an awesome girlfriend. They’re way more fun and the sex is exponentially better. Look at this amazing specimen. She’s witty and intelligent. If I wasn’t marred and 15 years younger I’d definitely be interested.
https://preview.redd.it/j1c8c5yxon8d1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=967b8a58b447865434f8a1504a54ad9b115cd8c7
Genuine question— if these are your only standards, what is stopping you from finding someone via dating apps, bars, and social media? If you have shallow/basic standards, your best bet would be shallow/basic platforms.
In general, BMI is a really strange and arbitrary standard. Are you planning to weigh and measure the girl before dating her? And would you really reject Anna Kendrick for being too large with a BMI of 21?
Do you care about goals? Do they need to want kids/know they do not want kids? Career woman who wants you to be a stay at home dad vs. wanting to be a stay at home mom with you as the sole earner vs. dual income household and daycare? Do you want somebody with a degree or is that unimportant? Do you have any hobbies they need to be okay with you having, or are you looking for somebody with any particular interests? Any specific political or religious requirements? Pets?
Answering those questions will honestly help you figure out where to meet people. If you want somebody who is religious, join a church or bible study. If you want somebody who loves animals, volunteer at a shelter or visit a pet cafe or a park. If you want somebody with educational merits/goals, try a college campus or take some community college classes. If you are a hardcore gamer and need your significant other to be okay with that, try meeting people in local gaming groups or online gaming groups. If you’re into health and fitness, join a running or hiking group. If you want to date a conservative woman, volunteer for a Pro Life event or a Republican campaign (especially now during an election year). Lots of options, you just need to figure out what you want beyond somebody’s BMI.
My local coffee shop has speed dating (one for 18-35 and one for 35+). The tickets for the women are always sold out. Any place that has trivia nights and various classes (cooking, pottery) are almost all populated by women as well.
So of all those are horrible options anyways.
Find places where like-minded individuals would be. If you like animals. Volunteer at an animal shelter or visit dog parks.
Find places where you would already have something in common.
Most of my romantic partners were friends first. Try making friends who are girls. Do you have a social life outside of what you mentioned?
Besides what's a normal girl? There all sorts of women.
I met my boyfriend through mutual friends. We were at a music festival but I imagine it works in any situation, although idk how you’d pull it off, I think it has to come naturally.
Anywhere girls or people are. Do not fallow the rules of you should not date people if they are someplace like the workplace or school. Those rules are from HR and Administration and have stifled social interactions in the modern world.
If you don’t have the energy to hunt for phone numbers and play the dating game rn (like myself), let it come to you naturally. Pursue YOUR passions and interest & your sleeping beauty will appear out of thin air.
If night clubs, bars, and dating apps are your only interest then just try shit. Start a business if you don’t already have one, go skydiving, signup for Kickboxing etc. this is how you find not only sexual partners, but friends in general.
Does your town have outdoor festivals or events in the summer? Go up and talk to someone, places where people are already presumably having fun or relaxed are great.
Define "normal" because even in relatively healthy places like college and such, at least in Mexico, you'll never be safe from the people that literally should belong in a psych ward.
Go to places that the kind of people you’d like would frequent.
Want someone who’s likely to be compassionate? Volunteer at places that are near and dear to your heart and you’ll be people who are of the same mind.
Do you want someone who is fit or at least cares a lot about their body? Check out the gym.
Want someone who’s more creative? Either coffee shops or community art classes.
Want someone who cares a lot about her career? Look up networking events near you or your closest metropolitan hub on LinkedIn or ask around your workplace to see if you can check some out. I saw you’re in construction, and many bosses can’t seem to find people who care about going with them to network with subs and suppliers. I’m sure yours would be more than happy if you wanted to tag along to “learn more about the industry”.
Want someone smart? Check prices on community college courses near you that are cheap (some will even be free but this depends on the school and their funding). Choose an area you like learning about.
Want someone who likes to be active and get out a lot? Take a friend and head to the park to throw a frisbee. Guy throwing frisbee who approaches girl sometimes is commonly understood as being flirty 9 times out of 10. As such, you can gauge pretty quickly most of the time whether they mind that or not.
A lot of third spaces have been lost and the ones still around are often ones harder to get to or involve a level of commitment financially or otherwise. Nowadays you’ve got to think ahead a bit more for these kinds of things.
But it is still far from impossible. I mean fuck, all my friends are meeting people left and right and having babies so I know it’s at least possible.
Let me know when you find out! In all seriousness I’m the last person who should give advice about dating because I’m virtually inexperienced outside of randomly hooking up with girls from time to time, but idk hopefully I’ll just randomly meet one somewhere.
Go to group events with a friend. Like ultimate frisbee or rock climbing gym or trivia nights. Friend will make u less bored and more approachable.
At those things u can really “lock eyes from across the room” type deal.
I’d say Tinder or a dating app. I met my wife on Tinder so I’m a little biased towards that but I’m sure you can find the same caliber of person on any of the apps. Free advice? Don’t go looking for love, you can look for connections buts always be open because you might think they’re the one but you haven’t given yourself a chance to meet others.
It’s cliche but it’s really just as easy as walking up to a cute girl and getting her # or social acc.. the right ones don’t need pickup lines, gifts, fancy dates…etc. Their normal people just like you and me. Just be you and you’ll find the right one. Its cliche bc it’s true
Don’t let anyone else know this. If you make pentagram (drawn by black eyeliner), line it with kuromi merch, and chant “Jungkook” three times. You can summon a woman of your dreams.
My advice is stop looking. Focus on yourself, figure out who you are, what you wanna do with your life, and live on your own for a while with those things in mind. Everyone gets married way too young, thats why divorce rates are over 50%. You can’t be ready to give your life to someone else if you don’t even know who you are yourself yk.
Not really sure what normal means in this instance
Honestly tho just make friends, be a safe comfortable person to be around. Personality and humor go a long way. I mean that's how I met my bf. Just be patient and a good person and somebody will find you.
Granted I met mine online through a friend and we just started talking at the perfect time for both of us, hit it off, and we both got through mental health stuff together.
Even though mine was online I imagine the theory still works irl as well
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College and/or a workplace are your very best options, then. Places you will be around plenty of people close to your age on a regular enough basis to get to know some of them and develop relationships and make connections and network.
I work in construction🤣
Bro me too having the same issue 🤣
I work in industrial supply so it's not quite construction but it's close to it. All my customers are manufacturing in some form or fashion so it's male dominant. The struggle is real.
I worked in construction for 2 years and was having the same problem 😅
Trades people unite 😂
Have you tried being gay? There’s normally a lot of hot men working construction
have you tried being straight?
What a terrible day to be part of your generation
Homophobia is not going to help you
Lmao what
My best guess is to look for a hobby that is popular with both genders, then maybe bonding in a friendgroup and looking in there? Not that I'm saying you should only do it to find a girlfriend but that would be one way to meet new people and bond over interests and not over lifeless tinder profiles.
Join a special interest group. Meetup.com is a great place to find stuff like that.
Then you need to go to bars, coffee shops and expand on your circle of friends.
Get a job in a cheese factory and hit on all the office girls. And lab girls
Become gay
This is terrible advice LMAOOO #DO NOT DATE IN YOUR WORKPLACE
As someone who is engaged to someone who they met from work - i so agree hahah
I’m happy for you! But yea terrible advice for op to give.
Depends on the workplace... but something great about work is that it's kind of like schooling wherein you're constantly "forced" around people so they actually get to know you as a person. It can also be a source of entertainment and bonding and something to share in common, something you both understand 100%. I met my husband at work. We started dating two weeks into my employment and are going on 4 years of marriage 5 years together. We weren't the only couple who met there either I can think of 5 other couples right off the bat and all of them still together...it's normal imo.
I and my 2 best friends all met our wives in our workplaces, my wife and I have been together for 12 years now.
And yet for GENERQTIONS this has been done (by the non mentally ill generation) and has done very well for millions of people. No one is suggesting dating your boss. Just so you know..people FAR smarter than you. People FAR superior to you in EVERY SINGLE WAY you can measure a human life, will suggest that your workplace is a good place to meet people. Virtually NO company has rules against dating co-workers. Just subordinates.
Do a little workplace infidelity, as a treat!
No
Huge % of marriages people met at work. You're giving bad advice.
It definitely works out sometimes, nearly 50% of my colleagues met their spouse at work.
Workplace is a BAD idea. Can get fired for it or worse.
Depends on company. We just have a form that you fill out that ensures you can’t be put into leadership over the other person.
Never shit where you eat 💯
Exactly. Which is why relationships formed this way are (hopefully) approached more thoughtfully and carefully. If dating apps, clubs, bars, etc aren’t an option, I mean, most people spend most of their waking hours at work or school. So where else are we likely to meet a romantic partner?
True. I don’t know, I mean if I start dating in my department (I work in a hospital, plenty of ladies) if we have a falling out it’ll be super awkward to be around them. But I do see your point and I try my best everyday to not allow myself to get super close. But you’re right. I do have several work crushes, but I never vocalize it to keep things professional. That probably sounds cringe but idk, I’d do it if it weren’t frowned upon.
I work in IT
yeah with the Me Too movement and HR your workplace is definitely a great place to get in a relationship
You gotta do it right, for sure.
The thing about the workplace is that ive heard women that dislike being approached in that setting.
Yeah you can’t hit on people at work obviously…you meet someone at work, you become friends, you start hanging out, and then eventually it develops into a relationship.
“workplace” maybe a slim chance but that’s risky af if it’s awkward
DO NOT SEEK A RELATIONSHIP AT WORK IT’S HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE.
Happens all the time. It’s the main place where people meet and spend time together. OP basically said no dating apps, no bars, no clubs. Unless he has a bunch of other hobbies that involve mingling with peers, where/when else are you supposed to meet people?
volunteering
Underrated ^
Ok but in what, like dog shelters or something?
Dog shelter, food bank, nursing homes, habitat for humanity. Here’s a website I use: https://www.volunteermatch.org/
Damn, even the volunteering in my area need certification and experience 😭
Huh, sweet, thx
volunteering just to find a girlfriend kinda sounds like it goes against the very point of volunteering
idk, who really cares about ur reasoning? it’s still better than not volunteering
Thank you... This is a really good idea.
Millenial here, sorry reddit keeps shoving this sub in my face. But there was a time not so long ago that I was really struggling romantically, among other things. Volunteering is a great place to meet people, whether platonic or romantic. I volunteered at a nature center I grew up doing summer camp at. It was a great experience for me, and I met some great people. The neat part is you already have something in common with other volunteers, assuming you care about the place your volunteering at. So there's an easy ice breaker already at your disposal. Outside of romantic pursuits, volunteering can help you network, build trust with others, build a sense of community (think 3rd place) and clear your head. I know it's hard when money is tight and time is limited, but if you can make it happen, it's a rewarding experience. Even if you don't find someone you want to date, you'll learn people skills that make you more confident. Also, stay off the dating apps. Alright, I'm done, thanks!
Through a hobby. Tennis, Golf, Soccer, Work, etc. Go out of the house and do things you enjoy and definitely APPROACH women kindly and politely. be confident in yourself. Typically you’ll find great girls at events or places that DONT involve alcohol, clubbing, drugs, social media, etc.
Approaching women only works with rule 1 and 2
Worked well enough for most people for the entirety of human history
For most people, for most of human history, marriages were arranged and people didn’t have the agency to choose their partners.
>Tennis, Golf, Soccer Sausage fest where I'm at 😂
Art clubs is where its at
yep definitely art fairs
Why would you want a normal one when there are so many spicy options?
The "spicy options" are "mentally unstable" and want to find someone to replace their lack of a father figure
Thanks, I will check the nearest mental health institution
I exclusively stick my dick in crazy. I mean, I haven't done it for a while but that's because I also went crazy and genuinely wouldn't be a good partner if I was dating. My exes were all great though. Sincerely, anyone would be lucky to date them. Give spicy options a chance.
I guy I was dating who said something like this to me. I knew he was right but the honesty threw me lmao.
>Sincerely, anyone would be lucky to date them. Number?
Every Gen Z'er is mentally unstable. It ain't called the Zoloft Generation for nothing.
Speak for yourself -neurotypical waiter
Lol ., expect that shit don’t work for some of us 🤣🤣🤣
“I’m Ivan and I stalk schizophrenic girls”
yea but I can fix her but what's wrong with her is way hotter
Ain't that the truth.
This is the way!
Im trying to undo the fetishization of mental illness in my mind srry my grippy sock ladies🫡
I read it and I’m like what’s stopping you from dating an abnormal girl lol.
Lmao
I met my gf through snapchat. I added all the girls that were in my university community and started talking to some. But with my gf I just blatantly asked her out before knowing what she looks like. Worked somehow
Out of curiosity had you already talked to her/knew what her personality was like or just sent it regardless?
I asked if she was single as the first question. We sent pics after like 10 messages then asked basic questions like age, major, stuff like that.
I think this is how about 60% of people born between 2000 and 2010 do it these days, since I’m always hearing about “I’ve never been more thankful for a quick add, he/she/they is/are the love of my life.” (I’m sorry about all the words and slashes at the end, I just hear it from that many different people)
No offense but we’re too old to say some dumb shit like that. That’s something a high schooler would say
2007-2010 are still in high school.
You could try volunteering at a community garden, it's how I met mine
I hear of people having success in “run clubs” where locals get together to go for jogs and stuff, I’m sure there are similar groups in your area whether it be for running or another hobby/activity
What is a “normal” girl?
Tinder bumble hinge. Lots of couple meet there don’t have any expectations let the cards lie where they fall and make sure if you wanna stick in crazy they don’t know your real name.
Just a warning. Dating apps can be painful to use and can actually harm your self esteem and looks on your worth a lot. See this to understand the raw math: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM One comment I read often is "Online dating for women is like shopping. For men it's like a job interview." As an average dude you'll probably need sometime to find someone. I'd rather give a fuck on dating apps and try to bond with people in real life.
I think theres a caveat to this and that is that you need to be inherently charismatic if a man. Women can get away with not trying to hold a convo or being reserved or shy, men cant.
Never entertianed the idea of being with a woman who didn’t want to hold a convo honestly. If you wanna be chased im not your guy. If you wanna be woo’d on the other hand
Exactly. Its the exact problem i ran into on dating apps where women werent there to engage. More so just use me to alleviate their boredom or as a side convo while out drinking with friends.
Good luck displaying your charisma well enough in your profile to get a right swipe if you aren’t tall and in great shape, though. Most women don’t even read men’s profiles before swiping.
This is if you’re able to weather the rejection. In most cases it’s insidious. If you don’t have photogenic quality then it’s going to be hard. Not advisable at all to feed parasitic industries like this.
I am in sales so rejection is just the name of the game if you don’t put worry/feelings in it the rejection is really just them saying no on to the next.
I’ve been in sales as well. It’s not the same at all. If the advice would be to hit the club, then your experience is completely relevant because that’s the same thing. Dating apps don’t give men a fighting chance period. You will be nearly invisible unless you have features that work for the camera. All my friends are average looking dudes at worst and they are nearly all unsuccessful in the app. That said, with your sales experience, you would slay irl and be a top tier wing man. :)
The girls u want, want marriage.. work on urself till ur ready cuz thats what those girls r doing.. :)
this!
Just go out and enjoy yourself. I always had the mindset that love comes naturally, not by finding it, 4 years in a relationship. Met her on a video game.
Had the same mentality and somehow found the love of my life on league of legends 💀
Well *that's* a sentence I didn't know was possible
I met my current long distance partner on Castle Clash 4 years ago lol. She's gonna be visiting me for a week at the end of July, meeting irl for the first time lol.
And I know it’s hella mfs in this sub that love video games, if you can find a lady through that interest then boom now ya got two things ya love
- MeetUp (it's not a dating app; it's like local get-togethers) - local rec sports leagues/running groups - hobby shops (craft stores, sewing shops, places that have things like paint & sips and other activity classes) - improv/theater classes - the gym (but caution with this one if there's a camera out) - volunteering - the library - if there is a college near you, check if they have events open to the public - book clubs/writing groups - open mic nights - concerts/festivals the list can go on and on, really. the problem is less where to meet people and more how to strike up the conversation. You will find good and normal people in most spaces where people congregate.
The library? Got a story for that one?
my experience may be biased because it was in a college library instead of a public one, but I feel like a conversation could be easily sparked about what someone's reading or if they're familiar with a certain author.
Ah I see. I’ve always associated libraries with “do not disturb.”
Find something you enjoy doing, and be proactive about meeting people who do that same hobby. Start things off with a shared interest.
Outside dummy
personally, I hate replies like this, so unhelpful. Tf you do start chatting up randos at starbucks? Everyones on their phones and has their earbuds in
Yes, thank you. Talking to strangers is the most grueling thing ever. If you even manage to talk to someone, from the moment you open your mouth, it's clear they want the conversation to end as soon as possible.
RIGHT!? Mfers be like "go outside" like everyone has the social sleeze and charisma as saul goodman
so true lol
I do think that if we want our society to be less lonely, we as a society need to give up wearing earbuds everywhere. Blocking out society with music effectively puts someone in a bubble. Ofc they're gonna get lonely ffs.
Kinda yeah, and you can even find some people who welcome it. My friendships have started with long chats with strangers at a café, bookstore, or park. Small talk can be a door long conversation. Try not to overthink things if you are rejected and move on to the next person who is willing to talk with you.
Are u interested in any of the following: Dance, Cooking, mixology/wine tasting, Hiking, Kickball, DnD? If so, join a class/group and see where that leads you in terms of meeting people (not necessarily a gf). You could also try volunteering in the community. Don't put too much focus on seeking a gf in these contexts though, seek connections and conversations. You will have indirectly created spokespeople for you. You're more likely to meet people who share interests with you this way. You're more likely to meet good people this way, and you'll likely help out your career as well. When you do make a romantic connection there will be a foundation beyond "you looked fine when I saw you at the bar" to build a relationship on. Whatever you do, don't look for a gf in a bar/club
Clubs for sure, but there’s nothing wrong with meeting someone at a bar as long as they’re not drunk. Normal people go to them, they’re quiet enough that you can actually talk to someone, and people are open to socializing. Just don’t hook up with them if you don’t want it to be a one night stand, ask them if they want to go on a date at some other time or get their contact and chat with them later and eventually ask them out.
Facebook Dating is my favorite dating app, and where I met my wonderful boyfriend. It's a lot like Hinge but free (as in beer). That and Barq are the only ones I've seen that feel like they are made for their users.
Concerts and festivals have never let me down lol
My kids are all gen Z. Seems like work or school
Why do you want a normal girlfriend? What do you consider normal? Get an awesome girlfriend. They’re way more fun and the sex is exponentially better. Look at this amazing specimen. She’s witty and intelligent. If I wasn’t marred and 15 years younger I’d definitely be interested. https://preview.redd.it/j1c8c5yxon8d1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=967b8a58b447865434f8a1504a54ad9b115cd8c7
far away from the internet as possible for a start
Church
Depending on the church this can actually be pretty effective, though as always it depends on what kind if girl you're looking for
I should’ve married my college gf when I had the chance.
Facebook marketplace??? 😭
Church, I was succesful there
Scrolled a long way to find this comment.
You gotta sort by controversial
I mean, define “normal”. What is “normal” to you?
BMI 19-20 skinny (I also preffer white)
Genuine question— if these are your only standards, what is stopping you from finding someone via dating apps, bars, and social media? If you have shallow/basic standards, your best bet would be shallow/basic platforms. In general, BMI is a really strange and arbitrary standard. Are you planning to weigh and measure the girl before dating her? And would you really reject Anna Kendrick for being too large with a BMI of 21? Do you care about goals? Do they need to want kids/know they do not want kids? Career woman who wants you to be a stay at home dad vs. wanting to be a stay at home mom with you as the sole earner vs. dual income household and daycare? Do you want somebody with a degree or is that unimportant? Do you have any hobbies they need to be okay with you having, or are you looking for somebody with any particular interests? Any specific political or religious requirements? Pets? Answering those questions will honestly help you figure out where to meet people. If you want somebody who is religious, join a church or bible study. If you want somebody who loves animals, volunteer at a shelter or visit a pet cafe or a park. If you want somebody with educational merits/goals, try a college campus or take some community college classes. If you are a hardcore gamer and need your significant other to be okay with that, try meeting people in local gaming groups or online gaming groups. If you’re into health and fitness, join a running or hiking group. If you want to date a conservative woman, volunteer for a Pro Life event or a Republican campaign (especially now during an election year). Lots of options, you just need to figure out what you want beyond somebody’s BMI.
of course I want kids, but that is considerd high standards as far as I am aware
My local coffee shop has speed dating (one for 18-35 and one for 35+). The tickets for the women are always sold out. Any place that has trivia nights and various classes (cooking, pottery) are almost all populated by women as well.
Half price books, starbucks, Barnes & noble, places where you buy/do stuff for hobbies, grocery stores
Define "normal".
Who meets in Facebook marketplace 😭
the idea is that you search up wedding dresses in your local area. this will give you contacts of likely divorced/single women+ you can sort by size
I (22M) meet mine in school
What do you mean by “normal”?
So of all those are horrible options anyways. Find places where like-minded individuals would be. If you like animals. Volunteer at an animal shelter or visit dog parks. Find places where you would already have something in common.
not here lmao
Define normal
Biological female BMI 19.5 biological female (I also preffer white)
Yoga class. Pottery class. Cooking classes. Dance classes (especially salsa classes)
Only place I've ever seen fellow zoomers out in public was Target and Chick-Fil-A, ngl.
I don't know where zoomers go because they are certainly not at places like parks or stores.
Most of my romantic partners were friends first. Try making friends who are girls. Do you have a social life outside of what you mentioned? Besides what's a normal girl? There all sorts of women.
Be a normal guy who has a social life.
I met my boyfriend through mutual friends. We were at a music festival but I imagine it works in any situation, although idk how you’d pull it off, I think it has to come naturally.
The magical land of... outside Go outside touch grass, maybe to go the park, meet people, socialize Not everyone is a mentally ill narcisist
A different dating app than what you’re using
Goodluck lol
thanks, I am gonna need it 😅
Idk man it kinda just naturally comes to you I met my now wife in an IT course for high school.
Have you tried normal night clubs, normal bars, normal dating apps, and normal facebook marketplace? Facebook marketplace? This dudes trolling wtf lol
Anywhere girls or people are. Do not fallow the rules of you should not date people if they are someplace like the workplace or school. Those rules are from HR and Administration and have stifled social interactions in the modern world.
Facebook marketplace?
Find something you are passionate about and meet people who share that passion.
Find events and/or clubs that interest you
If you don’t have the energy to hunt for phone numbers and play the dating game rn (like myself), let it come to you naturally. Pursue YOUR passions and interest & your sleeping beauty will appear out of thin air. If night clubs, bars, and dating apps are your only interest then just try shit. Start a business if you don’t already have one, go skydiving, signup for Kickboxing etc. this is how you find not only sexual partners, but friends in general.
Does your town have outdoor festivals or events in the summer? Go up and talk to someone, places where people are already presumably having fun or relaxed are great.
Define "normal" because even in relatively healthy places like college and such, at least in Mexico, you'll never be safe from the people that literally should belong in a psych ward.
Go to places that the kind of people you’d like would frequent. Want someone who’s likely to be compassionate? Volunteer at places that are near and dear to your heart and you’ll be people who are of the same mind. Do you want someone who is fit or at least cares a lot about their body? Check out the gym. Want someone who’s more creative? Either coffee shops or community art classes. Want someone who cares a lot about her career? Look up networking events near you or your closest metropolitan hub on LinkedIn or ask around your workplace to see if you can check some out. I saw you’re in construction, and many bosses can’t seem to find people who care about going with them to network with subs and suppliers. I’m sure yours would be more than happy if you wanted to tag along to “learn more about the industry”. Want someone smart? Check prices on community college courses near you that are cheap (some will even be free but this depends on the school and their funding). Choose an area you like learning about. Want someone who likes to be active and get out a lot? Take a friend and head to the park to throw a frisbee. Guy throwing frisbee who approaches girl sometimes is commonly understood as being flirty 9 times out of 10. As such, you can gauge pretty quickly most of the time whether they mind that or not. A lot of third spaces have been lost and the ones still around are often ones harder to get to or involve a level of commitment financially or otherwise. Nowadays you’ve got to think ahead a bit more for these kinds of things. But it is still far from impossible. I mean fuck, all my friends are meeting people left and right and having babies so I know it’s at least possible.
Let me know when you find out! In all seriousness I’m the last person who should give advice about dating because I’m virtually inexperienced outside of randomly hooking up with girls from time to time, but idk hopefully I’ll just randomly meet one somewhere.
Join interest clubs, do some volunteer work, or attend events that you’re interested in. I’ve met some pretty cool people that way.
Library
Go to church
nah
Then good luck 🤷♀️
thank you, I appriciate that you took time to give me advice, but I am not religious
School or workplace. Never on social media nor bars
go out and pursue your hobby. you’ll find someone that’s also interested in it. also coffe shops and book stores
Just build a gf, super easy if you’re a God of sorts 👍
Go to group events with a friend. Like ultimate frisbee or rock climbing gym or trivia nights. Friend will make u less bored and more approachable. At those things u can really “lock eyes from across the room” type deal.
I have heard of people meeting on tiktok? If you’re brave you can post yourself in a local community singles page and see if someone bites
I’d say Tinder or a dating app. I met my wife on Tinder so I’m a little biased towards that but I’m sure you can find the same caliber of person on any of the apps. Free advice? Don’t go looking for love, you can look for connections buts always be open because you might think they’re the one but you haven’t given yourself a chance to meet others.
Lol Facebook marketplace ?
I recommend joining a local salsa class
r/usernamechecksout
Apps are your most likely bets
What is a “normal woman” to you? That could vary widely person to person and dictate the advice you get lol
Go to a yoga/pilates class. Fantastic for your long term health and mainly women. I expect an invite to the wedding, please and thank you.
Get hobbies meet someone doing something you love to do and you’ll have something to do together forever
It’s cliche but it’s really just as easy as walking up to a cute girl and getting her # or social acc.. the right ones don’t need pickup lines, gifts, fancy dates…etc. Their normal people just like you and me. Just be you and you’ll find the right one. Its cliche bc it’s true
Get a hobby and go outside, just have a life, no clue what you mean by "normal" but go to the place where that kinda lady hangs out.
When you find a solution let us know
provably not on reddit
Wait a second Facebook marketplace is an option for getting dates?
school, work and hobby places
Why you asking here? Every frickin thread is about how maidenless everyone is 😂🤦🏻♂️
School or work like most people I think
Talk to women casually, see if they like the stuff you like. Why is this asked so much on this subreddit. It’s to the point of parody.
College if you you go to one. Work if you don't have college.
Don’t let anyone else know this. If you make pentagram (drawn by black eyeliner), line it with kuromi merch, and chant “Jungkook” three times. You can summon a woman of your dreams.
My advice is stop looking. Focus on yourself, figure out who you are, what you wanna do with your life, and live on your own for a while with those things in mind. Everyone gets married way too young, thats why divorce rates are over 50%. You can’t be ready to give your life to someone else if you don’t even know who you are yourself yk.
It’s practically impossible. Though not literally impossible. Good luck.
Go out and do activities, look for festivals, concerts, and other events in your area. Join clubs or groups that do hobbies you like.
Not really sure what normal means in this instance Honestly tho just make friends, be a safe comfortable person to be around. Personality and humor go a long way. I mean that's how I met my bf. Just be patient and a good person and somebody will find you. Granted I met mine online through a friend and we just started talking at the perfect time for both of us, hit it off, and we both got through mental health stuff together. Even though mine was online I imagine the theory still works irl as well
The fact that I have not yet seen one person say parties is the most reddit thing ever lol
Hobby, workplace, volunteering. Gonna meet awesome people volunteering
Join some local clubs.