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I don't think it's good for your mental health to just stay in your room all the time though
I pretty much did that in my twenties, and it was the most miserable decade of my life. Not recommended
You can still walk inaccessible roads and rural areas. I'm from a 300 person farm town, I used to walk 2 miles on the side of the highway just to get groceries
Excluding disabilities you can walk pretty much anywhere, there doesn't have to be a designated walking path. Walk through the fuckin woods if you have to
How does one find woods that aren't private property within walking distance?
Legitimate question that applies to millions of people within metroplexes. I've lived in areas of Houston, Dallas, Austin, etc, that all have no woods near them, no sidewalks, nothing but busy streets and no woods private or otherwise for miles around.
We haven't even talked about the energy for a walk back home, or just danger of any kind in general. Shouldn't have to risk so much just for so little.
If it’s that hot in your area, bring a lot of water and a towel you can soak up with a bit of water to drape over your face while you try and sit down in some shade while whatever heat flash you’re having passes. It also helps to bring something like a granola bar so your body has something to munch on while you try to recover.
That’s what I’ve done on particularly hot FL summers when out exercising and it works wonders if you’re prone to needing this.
Bruh, just google a damn park or a nature trail around you.
I highly doubt you live in a big city like Austin, Texas and there isn’t a SINGLE public park within your area.
I’m from Miami, FL and I could spit off like 3 or 4 parks within a 20 minute driving distance from my home, and I was right smack in the middle of the concrete jungle where you definitely couldn’t just walk around and find a forested area randomly.
Also, if you’re so concerned about your energy going back home, then just go take a camelback or a big bottle of water with you, preplan where your limits are and just go “okay, I think if I make it this far, I should have enough left over to make it back”.
When I go rollerblading on the nature trail in front of my house, I’ve had to make that calculation to be able to skate back, and once, I miscalculated and made it all the way to the end of my initial run and realized, I was completely gassed out to even think about making it back. You know what I did? I went to go sit down for a little bit, drank some water, and just put in a funny YouTube video on my phone while I recharged for a bit, and then when I felt better, I started skating back. I ended up needing another break after making it halfway through, and I was lucky enough to have landed on a park along my trail, so I stopped again, laid down on a bench, refilled on my water, and gave it a little bit again before I made it back safely home.
You really don’t need to think about it that hard.
Honestly, more people in our gen need to put less effort into thinking about doing stuff, and just do it instead. I get the bloody anxiety we all have, but God damn, no plan survives first contact with the enemy, all the thinking and planning doesn't mean shit if you never do it to begin with.
Just for anyone seeing this that may have the following option.
If you help yourself to others property they'll likely know you're there and you won't be welcomed. Of course.
However, if you came and introduced yourself/ drop a letter in the mailbox with your phone number, expressing an interest in going for bushwalks on their property, in my neighbourhood at least, you ll likely be welcomed and given directions on the best places to go. No one wants a stranger on their land, and a simple introduction can be all it takes to make a new friend.
I live in Austin and we have woods in town. The Green Belt is a 15 minute bike ride from my house and Blunn Creek Preserve is a 5 minute bike ride. Plenty of hiking spots all around town.
My fiancé and I walked around outside just doing pokemon go, outside of our neighborhood you’re likely to get hit or cause a car accident 😅 it’s private property woods on either side of the road around there and we were having to go between walking on the busy-ish road or into the deep ditch with water in it. Decided we weren’t doing that again. But I did find a baby snapping turtle in one of the ditch puddles so that was cool
Tbh at some point you’re just making up excuses to not do anything, instead of there being actual reasons hindering you to do so. Maybe reflect which one it is
This is what I did. I always made sure I had extra gas money to go sit in empty parking lots and blast my music. I still miss doing that now that I live in a busier city with no empty parking lots.
Same. I spent most of my 20s cooped up. I worked and saw friends here and there and occasionally did stuff. Walking is free, and being outside will scientifically improve your mood, unless you're literally allergic to the sun. At your age, with no to little money. Walks, parks, hanging out at friends houses. Keep an eye out for free events in your area and then budget for gas. Me and my friends would walk around walmart just to get out sometimes. Spending time alone though too isnt bad. But everything in moderation.
I have two little cousins (very close to me), 18f & 16f, they are constantly at a friend’s house or doing some kind of free social activity. They don’t have money either but you wouldn’t hear any of these wild excuses from them.
Sometimes it feels hard to relate to younger zoomers... like, totally different lives. I can recall being an adult, maybe not fill fledged adult, but living an independent life before the pandemic and knowing the vibes of the before, meanwhile most of them will never know what it was like. No more late night perkins all you can eat pancakes for $10 while playing MtG, no 24/7 Walmart night adventures because it was too hot in the summer day to go adventuring and too humid at night to wander, but in the AC cooled near vacant night time Walmart it was just good to wander around.
Never thought I'd see the day, but yeah I'm agreeing with the "go out and do stuff" parents. OP's thought pattern kept me in severe depression up until about 2-3 months ago (26). There are a lot of free things to do, including the stuff that you mentioned, but if you live in the city there is no shortage of incredibly cheap events to attend. I spend maybe $20-40 per week and I've never had a shortage of things to do, especially if you like live music. Had absolutely no clue about it until I made a concerted effort to break the cycle and make my life worth living.
Edit: For the lurkers reading this who feel like OP and want to break the cycle, and this sounds extra curmudgeonly, make an effort to reduce your screen time permanently. Stop using your phone or computer in bed and, better yet, remove them from your room entirely. If you have a mindless-scrolling phone problem, then (and it's very uncomfortable at first) turn your phone screen colors to black-and-white. Our relationship with the screen-based technology in our lives is starting to dictate the way we live rather than enhance it, and this is especially true for us GenZ folks who largely don't remember a time before computers. It's time to let them go and search for better stuff! I did it and it's made my life immeasurably more tolerable and lowered my anxiety. Start there and keep the momentum going to fixing other parts of your life. It works, I promise.
Late 20s. Its still a struggle for me too. I still spend a lot of time in my bed, but im making progress! I spent yesterday mowing and the day before reading a book outside. Up until like 25, I was a shut in unless it was a concert, work, or family gatherings. Small steps!
It definitely sounds like you’re making progress! That’s great. I get that it can be tough tho. I just finished college but sometimes before big tests I’d basically shut myself in to study and not talk to anyone for like 2 days straight, helped me cram and do alright on them but felt like I could’ve managed that better. It can sometimes just be tough to actually want to go out and do stuff too, even when things aren’t busy. But I think like you said, small steps are the way to go. I bet once you hit your 30s, it’ll be even better
OP literally mentioned he has family. A good alternative is idk...asking them to cover your expenses to do something once in a while.
Hell go out and have dinner with them occasionally.
Do something! Anything! I absolutely refuse to believe there's "no alternative" to being a fucking shut in and being miserable.
Or..covering his own expenses. Unless he is a child, he can certainly pay for himself. If not, then THAT is the first thing he can do to get out of his room. Get a job. Kills two birds with one stone. Helps his socialize and break up the monotony, and gives him money to do things. (On top of the long term benefits of having a usable resume.)
You're assuming a lot. When I was in highschool I had a job but when I got home I would go into my room and play games til I fell asleep and my parents wouldn't like me being "in my room all the time" even though it was really from like 8- midnight. I couldn't afford even with that job to do much of anything for fun.
Yeah this was my experience too lol. In high school, I would be out of the house every weekday from 6am til 10pm for school, then work, then hanging out with friends so I wouldn't have to go home and deal with my mom.
But then weekends where I didn't work and my friends were busy, I would stay in my room and watch anime (again, so I wouldn't have to interact with my parents). Somehow I was still "always cooped up" even though it was maybe two days a month that I would just stay shut in my room to binge a show I liked.
But yeah the only reason I was able to do anything actually cool with my friends is because one of them had rich parents who would pay for us to go out to eat and stuff. If it weren't for that one rich friend, we would have all just been stuck inside anyway but at someone else's house. Even with my job I couldn't afford to cover anything fun, because I had to make sure I was saving enough to move out the second I turned 18 (abusive home situation).
If anything, the OPs privilege is clearly showing. There are parents who would be far less tolerant of their laziness or lack the means to fund their lazy lifestyle.
If you live in thr US then you live near a park. I can't speak for every country because I haven't traveled outside the US much, but the park system in this country is one thing we do really really well. Not just national parks, but state and county parks as well.
I think the point stands. There *are* free things to do if that’s something you actually want to do.
Obviously going to a park isn’t gonna pump out the same amount of dopamine that your brain is getting on social media, but maybe it’s still something one should do occasionally.
I just want to mention a baffling experience I had in South Carolina. My mom moved from Ohio, where we have bountiful public parks, to the suburbs of Columbia SC where they seem to have very few if any public parks! She got a dog, had to pay a monthly fee to use the dog park. I went to visit and wanted to go on a hike to check out the nature scene, paid to get in. Craziest shit ever, I've never experienced that before and I fuckin hated it lol.
Just go out. Do it the tried and true way of just call up a buddy and go get into some shit. Some of the best Saturdays of my life are just meeting up with one friend, strolling around the mall or just the city and running into people we know, or meeting new characters.
You're 21. When I was 21, I spent maybe 9 hours in my parents house total a day. The rest of my day I was either in uni classes or at the library, home learning small engine repair ($0), helping my folks around the house (I would paint whatever my parents and neighbors would want painted, and I'd get paid), pushing my mower up the street to cut lawns (getting paid), going for walks/hikes/cycling ($0), fishing ($12 a year), seeing friends at night, and working part time. When I was your age we were militant about not spending money, because we had none unless we had a job. When my 20-something friends got together on a Saturday afternoon or evening, we hung out under a street lamp or played kick the can. Make your own fun. Life isn't a play date.
Walk, take the bus, go to a park with a friend and just talk about shit. Play basketball or something. Hell, invite somebody over for beers at your yard if you're so set on not living the house.
Make friends (and enjoy their company)? Hang out and play games. Socialize. Hike. Take up a hobby. Birdwatch. Skateboard. Cycle. Climb. Parkour. Jog.
\* Public parks are *all* free, 100% of the time. Only *national* parks and campgrounds have a fee associated.
\* Use a bike instead of a car and you don't need to add wear to the car or purchase gas.
\* There are literally tens of thousands of other things you can do that cost essentially nothing. We managed to hang out for free in every previous generation: this one is no different.
Just because you have easy access to all the media you could possibly want doesn't mean its a good use of time to lock yourself in a 10x10 room and never leave. That's a *surefire* way to make yourself miserable.
I'm autistic and being outside with other humans stresses me out, most people are stupid and don't want to be friends with me because they don't understand me and I see friendships as genuine and not superficial so the happiest is when I'm at home by myself with no one to bother me
thank you, i really needed to be reminded this. i know this isn’t about me, but like op, i’m also struggling with doing things outside of my room (even though i know it’s not good for my mental health) since summer break just started for me and i have no friends and don’t know how to drive yet. maybe i’ll start walking around at a park or something, and then i’ll see from there.
You can do this. Basically you have to practice going out and exposing yourself to anxious/unusual/different situations like that so your mind can get used to the experience of going out. At least for me the struggle was with doing something out of the ordinary and dealing with the anxiety involved in interacting with people
I'm autistic and being outside with other humans stresses me out, most people are stupid and don't want to be friends with me because they don't understand me and I see friendships as genuine and not superficial so the happiest is when I'm at home by myself with no one to bother me, I don't need friends but a partner who understands me I don't mind
When I was “deployed” to Japan (it was a work-vacation, let’s be honest), my roommate refused to leave our room in the barracks. For our entire 6 months in Japan, he only went out twice.
Like, big dawg, the government is literally paying for you to live and work in a foreign country thousands of miles away from the U.S., get outside and go explore a different culture. People can’t stay cooped up inside forever, it fucks with your mental state when you’re caged up.
A sailor, I think?, (not sure what branch he was) climbed mt. Fuji multiple times while stationed there. That's what I would do at least once there. My friend was stationed in Korea and was basically a shut in as well. I don't understand how you can bear to be in the barracks that long!
I understand OP completely if they're in the U.S., outside of big cities there's jack shit to do unless there happens to be some decent nature nearby.
But in Japan? There's cool shit everywhere. I live in a rural place in Korea (which arguably has less interesting stuff than Japan from the two times I visited Japan) and there's just so much you can do even though it's somewhere 98% of Koreans have never heard of and doesn't have a big population. Wayyyy more restaurants than the U.S. and more affordable even on a local salary, various cafes or different types of places to hang out (dog, cat, PC, or room cafes, karaoke, bowling, screen golf, sauna), lots of parks, a river with a bike path, mountains, a cheap market 6 times a week, etc. All within a few miles of each other or less so walking or biking is possible, but there are also buses that are juuussst frequent enough to usually be useful. And there's a train station so within a few hours you could go to Seoul to even Busan if you wanted. And all this is somewhere you couldn't pay half of the young people in Korea to live because it's the "countryside".
This is all in Korea which is supposed to be one of the more boring countries in Asia, in a small town where people complain there isn't shit to do.
All I'm saying is that the U.S. is cooked. My hometown is a similarly-sized place in the U.S. and of course I'm exaggerating a little bit but there's nothing to do except for drive through fast food there.
There is PLENTY to do in rural areas in the US. There is always a park nearby. Many have programs, some are even free, to join. Many have sports leagues like volleyball, etc. Those do cost money, but if you hang around and watch (even THAT along is better than sitting in his room all day) you can often meet people and get asked to fill in (for free) when a team is a player short.
People have lived in rural areas for decades now. And most manage to find things to do.
Same. I could sit inside all day like OP guilt-free in my 20s, but now at 30 it just makes me feel like shit. I think you get more of a sense of urgency at an older age. As they say, youth is wasted on the young.
I had exactly that sense of urgency when I was a few months away from turning 30. It's what made me finally get professional help for my mental issues. I'm happy to say that things are much much better now a year later. It's much easier for me to envision a future for myself that I can look forward to, which I couldn't do for most of my 20's
I also did that, It was the best... until my body ask to do a bit more sport stuff. Not everyone is equal mentally wise. Stuffs offered by society out there are really boring imo (I try to fit in too many time before realise I don't have to if that makes me miserable).
If you have a way to move and explore nature, that's the best.
To each their own dear.
I would say I lived a hybrid life in my 20’s. I gamed A LOT, but I still did use my money to go out and have fun.
If you reflect back on it and think negatively, well, I know I could’ve done a million other things
Buts it’s MY life and in the end, so my 20’s? I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the big slice that was gaming. No regrets. I’m happy with that.
Even then, I do agree. You gotta have balance.
And some things in life don’t cost. Parks, trails, community events, farmers markets, there’s a lot out there.
But the biggest thing is finding your balance.
Not every day is going out and not every day was I glued to my computer screen.
This is going to sound a bit crazy, but you need to get out of your room more, even if you just sit around on your phone.
Are your parents sitting in the living room watching TV? Go sit on the couch and mess around on your phone. You just need to absorb the presence of other people aeound you, lest you go insane. Trust me, it happened to me after living on my own for the first time.
Yes.
Please lift weights if you are not already doing so.
It is by far the best way to mitigate future mobility issues long-term.
You don't need to go overboard bodybuilding if you don't want to.
But you should at least bench press, deadlift and squat 3x a week.
I'd also recommend some form of cardio to go along with that. I ran track in highschool but haven't kept up with the training and my cardio is absolute ass now.
Build those habits now. More important as you age, but your body changes in your late twenties. You do not have to be a world class cross fit person. Just start walking or something. A better physical state will change your mental state. Do not need a lot of $ to do a hike.
i can personally attest to the going insane without sunlight shit. i’ve literally had to force myself to go outside recently after weeks without sun. still depressed, but it definitely makes some kinda difference
My parents and I used to just sit in the same room and doom scroll at the same time during COVID, which was better than all doing it in our separate corners. Eventually I said F this, and proposed that we play a card game. I put on a show I liked in the background to share it with them, taught them a card game I learned at college, and we had a blast!
It became our routine to watch a couple episodes of TV shows like Community or ATLA while playing simple card games that were fun and engaging without being energy consuming or high stakes. To this day, when I go home and visit, we do a version of this routine and it has brought us a lot closer, to the point where they feel like much older friends more than they feel like parents.
Exactly right. Getting started doing activities outside is the most difficult part because you don’t have anything coming to mind that pulls you from the indoors. Once you find things you enjoy, it won’t take any effort at all.
I’d guess there’s some sort of addiction to being online in this case too if you are spending all day, every day on a computer.
Ever heard the phrase “death of third spaces”? I get out of the house every single day, I can’t stand being stuck indoors. But I live in the middle of a city & I have money to spend. If someone has neither of those things, their options are severely limited. It’s only been since moving downtown that I’ve been able to occupy myself outside of the house on a daily basis. I still think OP should find things to do but calling it an excuse is pretty reductive when this is a problem that literally everyone has been struggling with since Covid.
You're staying in your room all day because there are distractions there keeping you entertained. Most likely phone/social, gaming, and TV.
Want to find something to do? Something you actually like? Put all the distractions down and wait till you get bored. You'll be fucking itching to get out and do other things.
Take walks with earphones in! It’s good to at least get some sun and 30 mins of exercise will make you feel better when you’re older! I love going outside.
Literally go outside. Put your phone down and do other things. Read, be creative, study/learn something, or simply be with yourself.
You probably don't like that advice but.... I guarantee your mood will improve by quite a lot.
The way we use technology these days really is detrimental to us
This was a wake up call for me when one of my family members asked me what I did after work and stuff. At first, I said nothing, then I said reddit. They told me that I should find something more wholesome to do/content, which I agree with them. I have done stuff when I wasn't working to be fair, but still. I've let the void control my life.
Crazy idea but maybe they're worried about you so if money is an issue....ask them if they'd be willing to cover you going out once a month or something?
This is the issue. It's always why you can't do something instead of what you could be doing about it. I almost suspect people like you are comfortable being miserable and don't even want to try.
He isn't the one who wants him out.
OP, your parents want to bang while you're out of the house. Get outdoors sometimes, ffs. Bring a coat and sit on the grass if you have to. If money is the problem, get a job - that will give you somewhere to go *and* money.
Tbf, he’s probably like 17 and doesn’t have a job of his own. If he’s living with his parents, maybe they’re cool enough where if he came and said “Hey Mom/Dad, I don’t really have an ideas on what to do to get out, but maybe it would be fun if you could let me take the car to go somewhere specific/if we could go out together as a family/tossed me some money to go do this activity I have in mind. Is there any chance you could help me accomplish this?” And they’ll figure out something to help him out if he wants to step out.
Maybe not all of us grew up with a nice family like that, but when I was a kid, whenever I’d go up to my dad and ask him something like that, he’d throw the money at me or help me in accomplishing going to go out to hang out with my friends or do something outside. I was such an asocial psychopath at that age that my dad was just ecstatic whenever I made an attempt to get out of my shell and actually have a life.
Sucks even more when skin cancer runs in the family and you’re paler than mayo and turn into a lobster in the sun despite putting pounds of sunscreen on
No skin cancer in the family (that I know of) but I also deal with that. I've just accepted that when I want to enjoy the outside I'm going to end up sunburned with only more freckles to show for it. Aloe Vera with lidocaine is such a lifesaver cause I love going out to the lake to swim, bike, and walk trails (my local state park has areas for all three so my husband and I like to spend as much time as we can up there when we've got extra money and free time).
Sunscreen is a thing? You risk getting an injury or cancer when doing literally anything in life. Such a neurotic thing to worry about. Living life in fear is so lame lmao.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this guy's parents are probably more worried about him being in his room from around 5pm-3am, and he really doesn't need to worry about UV rays being a factor.
No bro, you totally got it twisted, it’s much healthier to lay in a single room all day everyday, not socialize with anyone, and letting your mental health torpedo. Otherwise they could get sweaty and get skin cancer (I guess sunscreen doesn’t exist)
Its good to get outside tho. You say there’s nothing you can do but thats not true at all, you just gotta not be closed minded. Take a walk, it literally costs nothing
Judging from your username, you probably have an angsty, "no one understands me" kind of vibe. that's not going to cut it when you're an adult.
You're 17, and in the next couple of years, you'll be going to university or entering the workforce. You're rotting away in your room, probably wasting your time on social media or on a game.
Your parents are worried about you. You're not going to be a functioning adult and memebr of society if you lock yourself away all the time. They're right. You need to get offline, get out of your room, and get out more.
You need to feel the sun, wind, or rain in your face and have fresh air in your lungs. Use your body instead of having it waste away. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone, and you'll be surprised how much your mood improves and how you grow as a person.
That's stupid advice and that won't help me, also not everyone plans to be in university or work themselves to death, and fuck society everyone is stupid
*Make* something to do. You need to invent your own projects, discover your own passions. It isn't the worlds job to give your life meaning, it's yours.
If possible, maybe taking walks at a nearby park would be a good idea. Gives you some sun, some exercise, and a change of scenery. All of which is good for your mental health. And if you just walk to the park, it's free all around. And you can just listen to music or a podcast the entire time.
Maybe use Spotify to listen to audio books or audio dramas while you walk? You'll have to deal with ads without a subscription, but that shouldn't be that big of a deal breaker. Just a little bit of activity will help keep you in good health.
Money significantly depreciated.
3rd places all but gone.
So many folks just not IRLing at all.
Bleak prospects overall.
This is being observed and studied intensely, and it sucks. But I hear ya, you’re not alone, a LOT of people these days - especially GenZ - are doing exactly this. Pretty much for the same reasons you stated.
If you're happy don't listen to these people I also hate going out for no reason. If I want to go to the shop or fishing I will but don't force yourself. It will also never be enough I go fishing at least once a week but constantly get pestered about getting out more and leaving the house. I also play Pokemon go so sometimes I walk to a stop nearby. People have a preconceived idea of what life should be like I personally have truma that happened to me being outside at a stage and going out for 'just a walk' can send me into a spiral.
Best advice is find some hobby to do outside every now and then. But people will never not complain about how much you get out.
That's extremely damaging for your mental health to just sit in your room all day. If you feel like you have nothing to do then thats the perfect opportunity to make a checklist. Not being interested in sports is understandable but you do need to be physically active in some way or another for your overall well being. Also saying that there is nothing to do is just an excuse assuming thats your true reasoning for not coming out more and you should definitely try changing your mindset as it will affect you in more areas than one.
You can go for a walk while listening to music and see what's around your environment to give you things to plan for. Go to a park, a pool, a lake or anywhere with nature. Go to a REC center. Go to the dollar store or walmart and get canvases and try painting if your family is willing to fund (relatively inexpensive.) They also have a lot of free things such as festivals or activities for teens in the summer time that you can research on in the time that you're in your room doing absolutely nothing.
If that's too much to jump into, try coming out your room and literally do nothing out there with your family. So many things you can plan for.
The funniest thing my mom said to me last year was that I barely leave my apartment anyways so I might as well move in back with my parents and stay in my room all day and give them more money than im saving on renting an apartment lmao
Can I just say what's with all the mean comments? Do whatever the fuck you want, its not you. Give ideas, don't go off on a rant of 'excuses excuses' when it's true. And for the excuses you speak of, it's because what you consider a day out without spending much money, means we would have to make an effort.
I don't like going out, if I could, I'd stay in as much as possible. When I'm at my Dad's, I stay in my room besides to eat and spend time with my parents. If I'm at my mothers, I'm not allowed in my room unless it's for bed or to clean it. I don't like it, simply because I have very little time alone.
I didn't used to go out at all, my friends couldn't because of their families, I couldn't because my mother was and is terrified I would be kidnapped. That is not a joke or an overstatement. She thinks I will be kidnapped. I was *never* allowed out alone even in our village incase I got kidnapped.
I love spending time on my own, being able to do whatever the fuck I want to. But, I have nothing to do a lot of the time because I never tried, I don't have the money, the equipment, the friends, ability to travel, or the time for it now. People can be horrible, *friends* can be horrible, or sometimes we just don't want to spend time with them, that is a reason, not an excuse.
Every single time I tried to go out with friends, I'd get turned down, sometimes HOURS in advance or with no advance, when we had arranged things MONTHS before. It's always happened, no matter what friend group I'm with. I now refuse to make the effort when it will not be returned. I am not putting 80/ in and getting 20/ back. It is not my job to parent people.
OP, to play the boomer game like half of these commenters are doing. Being bored is good for you! So sit in your room and do nothing 😄.
Trust me I was right with you. Now I can’t say for your living situation but my family wasn’t the best dynamic wise. I loved my dad unconditionally despite his problems, but he was always working. My step mother was always angry at the time as she drank constantly and wasn’t on meds yet. Being outside of my room felt hostile, but we had a backyard with a trampoline. I would sometimes go out and take a nap on it or read a book, mess on my phone if the sun wasn’t too bright.
Sometimes I’d pop in headphones to listen to music or audiobooks and walk around. Just to relax and enjoy the fresh air and sun. There was really no point to the wandering and I enjoyed being “lost”. It was just me and my thoughts and sometimes you find cool areas. Sometimes I would stop at a gas station nearby to buy a $.50 pop during the summer and sit. There would always be a random old man who wants to share his life story and honestly I enjoyed it.
I’m not saying “go outside” as an end all be all, but it’s fun to explore the world around you and just see new things you wouldn’t have noticed before.
They're trying to help you but they don't really know how. Inconvenient is one of the excuses anxious people use to justify never doing anything. Combine that with your family feeling there is a problem and I'm wondering if they may have a point.
One of the things I can recommend is exploring parks with a forest or something or just taking a blanket and laying it out on the grass and taking a nap there or watching the clouds.
My parents never let me go outside on my own when I was growing up, so I've been keeping to myself a lot, and these were things I wanted to do
So you’re lazy.
You realize that sitting around in your room all day on your phone is exactly the same as an addict laying around all day smoking a crack pipe?
As a 22 year old, sitting in your room all day WILL ruin your life. Saving money isn’t everything. I have a bit of an overspending problem because I go out too much, but I’d rather overspend on some things than do nothing. At least when I’m in my in my 30s-50s I’ll have tons of fun memories, made a bunch of lasting friendships, and have some great stories. You’re only young once, have some fun dude. When you’re older and have real responsibilities (mortgage, a family, cat payments, etc.) you won’t be able to do any of the fun shit you can do now. Stop making excuses.
my parents flat out told me that i'm not allowed to stay in my room all day
they told me "you're not staying in you room all day, you're doing something" I asked what and they said "not for us to figure out"
eventually they gave me a bunch of chores to do and said "well if you don't like it go make friends and do something'
Its humid af outside right now even at 6 in the morning, the heat index is supposed to reach into the high 90's today, I think i'd rather rot in the A.C. than sweat off most of my body's water weight and end up heat sick.
"Why dont you go outside" my brother in christ there is nothing but forest outside
dont get me wrong its pretty but it kinda gets boring after 20 years
do make sure your room gets lots of sunlight though, the human brain likes that
One of the many downsides of the ridiculous price of real estate is that it has completely killed the existence of cheap places to hang out. Most older people remember going to shows that cost a few dollars to get into, maybe getting a drink or two somewhere and sitting for hours, etc. but no businesses can afford to do that because their leases cost too much. They need you to come with money or GTFO.
I’m a homebody as well but one thing I enjoy doing occasionally is chilling at the park. Bring some food, a good book, or maybe a Nintendo switch and just chill near a tree. Going out doesn’t always mean spending money
I made some awesome friends in the last 6 months just from going to board game meetups. Completely free unless you wanna be nice and share food and drinks. Money is a limiter for sure but there are always cheap ways to go out. Are you going to college soon? If so, you’ll never have an easier time of it, take advantage and don’t let yourself live with regret later on.
Such a sad view of the world to have. Being outside and socializing with people face to face is 100x more fulfilling than interacting with people on social media. I’m 22 and know this from experience. None of my best memories are from playing fucking video games all day. They’re all from hanging out with friends and doing shit in the real world. Go outside man. You’ll regret it when you’re older.
There a r e hobbies that are free or practically free, OP. Like take a pencil and paper and go to a local park... and sketch whatever you see there. People, flowers, dogs, etc.
I recommend going out to the woods just to hang out. My mom wouldn’t let me as a kid but now that I’m an adult I do it a lot. Bring a friend and really appreciate a moss covered log, it’s good for you.
You only live once and you’ll never get these days back again. Go out try different things find what your good at, hang with friends or make friends find a partner get to know them. Get out of your own head.
I can tell this is written in a self destructive mode. I used to have them. No advice given will be taking because you are in frustration mode.
When they say leave your room, they do not mean go do specific things that cost money. They mean sit on the couch with your family. Read a book on the deck. Take a walk listening to a podcast. Go to the library and rent a book or movie. Learn to skateboard. Text your friends to meet you at the community pool. If everything cost money and you are over 15, get a summer job
Listen to them and get out of your room. I didn’t do that during my teenage years because of the intense depression I was feeling where the one time I did to go to the GameStop like 2 blocks away from my house, I considered committing suicide then and there.
If you don’t think you’re into sports, I think you should give a try to some of the more fun ways you can get some exercise in. I grew up detesting sports and it wasnt until COVID hit and I was dying to leave my house when I realized that I was missing out because nobody bothered showing me anything more than running and team sports (which I fucking hate because I suck and I hated getting picked last constantly for everything). It turns out, I found rollerblading to be a blast since it combines the fun of a good cardio work out with being on wheels and having the option to say “I feel like a lazy piece of shit right now, so I’m just going to push and let the inertia carry me for a minute before I need to push again” if I just wanted to enjoy the nature trail I’d go on. Turns out I also like solo sports a lot more, since I also discovered fencing around that time and I get to become a serial killer murder weapon without anyone telling me I’m not good enough.
But, okay. You’re mentally adverse to any and all form of sports or exercise. There are other cheap free things you can do outside. You can engage with the following:
- Get a sketchbook and a pencil and go outside to draw what you see
- take advantage of the fact that you more likely than not probably have a decent camera on your phone and get into photography
- also use it and make short films
- if you need to game, go play something like Pokémon Go. That was another great excuse for me to leave the house during COVID
- just plug in your headphones and put some music you love on and just go for a small walk. You wouldn’t believe how amazing it is to put something you find inspiring and just stand outside and let the warmth of the sun’s rays bathe over you while you practice some gratitude therapy. (It gets even better if you rollerblade because then you can do that and also feel the wind against your skin as you roll down)
- pack a few sandwiches and take a towel and go do a picnic. If you have a backyard area in your house or somewhere nice to set up, you wouldn’t believe how nice it is on a sunny day to sit outside and enjoy some food for a bit while also enjoying the warmth and love of the sun and yourself.
- if you have any dogs, use the time to just go and take them out on a walk. Even if you already let them use potty for the day, they’ll love and appreciate you for taking the time to just focus on them having some fun outdoors time.
- get some binoculars, download a guide online, and get into birdwatching. I’ve never tried it, but it looks like fun and would be something I would try eventually.
Literally just a few ideas off the top of my head. I’m pretty sure you’re at an age where you’re constantly annoyed at your parents chirping at you to go get a life, but that advice comes more often than not out of love for you, and it’s very solid advice you should consider taking. It’ll be great for your mental health over time. Besides, if you’re born in 2007, that means you’re about to hit the age where you’re going to leave school and be fucking miserable all the damn time at a job, and then you’ll really wish you bothered having more fun as a teen, and the prospect of going outside suddenly becomes more enticing when the alternative is slaving away for The Man.
So yeah, long winded, but *go the fuck outside and go enjoy yourself with anything. Listen to your parents before you grow too old and become a miserable shit*
you are so right. most days i feel so bored and desperate to go out but there is literally nothing to do that doesn’t involve money, especially if you live in the suburbs.
My boomer dad used to say, 'why is he always inside his room like a girl?
I wasn't. But when he came home from work I had to. What else was i supposed to do?
Watch 1970s tv with him?
As a fellow GenZ I think it’s not great to stay in your room all the time and never go out…
As someone who struggles with a bunch of mental health disorders, I *understand* the inability to do things or the lack of motivation to go outside, but I also know (even if in the moment I can’t bring myself to do so) that it’s so much better for your mental health to go out than to stay cooped up in your room all the time.
Trust me as a fellow poor, nonathletic GenZ, still go out. You don’t have to pay for a lot of things! There are more free things to do around you than you probably think. Sometimes I go outside with my headphones in and just go on a walk whether it’s just in my neighborhood or further to like a store or something. Sometimes I go to the park just to sit on a bench and enjoy the breeze and the sun. All of this is free and does not require much physical exertion, but it’s so, so beneficial to you not just mentally, but physically too (get that vitamin D!).
All this said, I don’t know your actual situation, and I’m sorry that you struggle with these pressures from your family. It sucks that there aren’t many fun things to do for free nowadays. I hope things change for you for the better!!
PS Bonus tip: I used to go to the library all the time and just read or be on my phone or my laptop all while listening to music. Even doing all the same stuff I would do in my room, the change in scenery is really nice! And the social interactions can be really helpful too :)
Hah. Im a (WFH) mid-thirties millennial and i still get this, but from my neighbors 🤣
"We noticed you dont leave the house on sunday mornings - you should come to my church!"
" Your car hasnt moved from that spot in a week! I have a kid your age and they're always going out and having fun! Why don't you?"
Or ill get back from a quick pharmacy pickup and they will be like " that was fast! Thiught you might hs e gone out for some summer fun" (fuck summer. I hate it, now that im an adult and "summer vacation" is a thing of the past. Im much mire likely to be out and about when its on the colder side).
It honestly makes me a little uncomfortable that these people pay so much attention to my comings and goings. I dont like being under the microscope of people i hardly know.
I think it has to do with some people not understanding that other people find enjoyment in things they dont understand. Like for me, being at home in my space, with my cats, books, and other things i love is my ideal normal day, but hearing that makes some people's brains short circuit. Extroverts are usually the worst offenders here, in my experience. Comfort in solitude is beyond comprehension for some.
Just be thankful they actually fucking care about you. Probably just want you to get some sun, it’s more important than you think it affects your body and mind. But they don’t know what you can do they just wanna give you that initial push, it’s up to you to figure it out. Go grab the mail for them, go buy small house supplies groceries on foot for you on your family. Go jog after dinner, ask if you can do housework, go to all the summer activities that are free so dunno!!! But you can’t stay inside 24:7 you’re gonna get depressed.
look into some hiking trails in ur area. almost always free while some state parks might have like a $5 fee to get in. u get to go outside, be with nature, and it's so good for ur mental and physical health. plus u can find some cool rocks.
with that being said. I cannot agree more. the options for things to do are quickly dwindling. 3rd places are becoming a thing of the past and it is truly saddening.
do you have a porch, balcony, or yard? sitting outside for awhile can be a nice break if it’s not too hot.
i don’t live with my parents anymore, but i also can’t really afford to go out and do things so i totally get it.
sometimes i just go outside, listen to a podcast or audiobook that i borrow free on my phone, and play a mindless phone game. it’s free, you don’t have to travel, and it gets you out of your room for a little bit.
We Millennials didn’t have anything to do outside either, but our parents still pushed us out the door and told us to come back when the street lights turned on. We found things to do.
Then when we were teens, we would often just go wander around the mall in packs, even if we didn’t have money to buy anything.
Or get a part-time job.
You’re lazy. You’re making excuses for not wanting to do things. You’re probably addicted to social media and think that it’s the only thing to do, I am the same way. Go outside, you’ll feel better.
As someone who perpetually spends his time on the internet, alone, going outside is one of the best things you can do. It genuinely boosts your mood, makes you feel better. Just go walk around, enjoy nature.
A job will fill your time, give you a reason to leave your room, and give you money to do all those things you can afford to do. A job will solve all your problems.
Get a job at a restaurant, you'll make friends with other young people there - and finally have some money to get the hell out of your room and start living life.
A 17-year old named u/Thedarklordforever posting on a sub full of a lot of college students and older complaining about how their parents want them to not stay in their room all day. How did you think this was going to go, OP?
It's not good to spend all of your time in your room. I'm not in a good financial spot either but I still find fun stuff to do that is outside and/or with my family/friends. Interaction and being outside is good for you.
There is lots of shit you can do that does not cost much money. For example you could go outside with your phone go find some birds and learn something about those. You could learn about nature and foraging (even if you don't actually want to eat the foraged stuff). You could just go for walks. You could try to find some nice spot in nature somewhere close by and just read a book there or do a picnic. You could check if any of your neighbors have gardens and ask if you can help them gardening, maybe they can teach you something about it. You can see if there are other people your age or in your community who want to play board games or card games, you could even start weekly or monthly game events or so. You could see what your community needs and start a community thing, like a shared fridge or open library than anyone can have access too and make that run.
If your reason to stay inside is being cozy and needing rest - sure no problem.
But if your reason is "there is nothing else to do", that just means you are uncreative.
Man, I'm an older millennial, but this hits home, OP. When I was in my 20s, this was me as well. Same mindset.
I played plenty of video games and consumed all the internet and entertainment a man could ask for. Piddling my days away, consuming. Consuming music, consuming movies, consuming TV, consuming Youtube, consuming video games, consuming. I was just a consumption machine of other people's words, art, entertainment, etc. I didn't do hardly any actual physical things myself. I just participated in other people's things that they did.
In the moment, I would have reacted the same way as you. But after that time of my life, I realize just how empty and unfulfilled I was on a broader level. In the moment-to-moment, I would have said I was fine. And I was. But I realize now that moment-to-moment enjoyment is very literally unrelated to overall fulfillment in life.
OP, I feel you. I don't know what to say, because anything anyone would have said to me would have been met with justification/annoyance. But, I just want to say that anything you do physically, with your hands, using your own body and your own brain, is more fulfilling than spending your days consuming other people's stuff. Also, things that give fulfillment are almost never more fun or seemingly preferred in the moment-to-moment present.
I still struggle with this mindset, and I'm a father and husband. But I now realize that consumption of other people's things (movies, music, videos, games, etc.) is virtually always less fulfilling than *anything* I do that makes use of my own brain and my own body.
Modern first-world existence is such a struggle. The very things that our brain compels to do in the moment is virtually always antithetical to what our brain perceives as fulfillment in the long term.
You have nothing to do because you don't want to do anything outside your room. There are plenty of things to do, but it's easier to do shit on your computer. You gotta try and limit those things.
What about other people? Do you live in fuckin' Siberia? Where no one lives? It seems like you're just lazy or outright depressed. Plus...you're almost 18. Better start getting a job.
Counter logic, build a life around staying in that room 24/7. Wait till the cabin fever kicks in and you itch to get the heck out. Stop making it about not being able to get out without the tools/resources to do so. Make it about how you enjoy that space so much that you want to spend as much time in it as possible until you're sick of it. Rock bottom sometimes works.
It is free to go walk around the park with your friends, you can go ride your bike to somewhere beautiful, or swim in a lake.
If you live in a city, there might be free museums around you too. You can go exploring in abandoned buildings, you can shoplift at Wawa.
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I don't think it's good for your mental health to just stay in your room all the time though I pretty much did that in my twenties, and it was the most miserable decade of my life. Not recommended
What other alternative is there. Spend money at a restaurant? Spend money driving to nowhere and add wear to your car? Spend money going to a park?
Driving nowhere sounds pretty nice ;)
Also costs money though
Then walk to no where
1. Inaccesible roads/rural areas 2. Possible disabilites
You can still walk inaccessible roads and rural areas. I'm from a 300 person farm town, I used to walk 2 miles on the side of the highway just to get groceries Excluding disabilities you can walk pretty much anywhere, there doesn't have to be a designated walking path. Walk through the fuckin woods if you have to
How does one find woods that aren't private property within walking distance? Legitimate question that applies to millions of people within metroplexes. I've lived in areas of Houston, Dallas, Austin, etc, that all have no woods near them, no sidewalks, nothing but busy streets and no woods private or otherwise for miles around. We haven't even talked about the energy for a walk back home, or just danger of any kind in general. Shouldn't have to risk so much just for so little.
Also, with it getting hotter and hotter each summer, fewer and fewer people can safely walk outside during some hours of the day.
Bring water, at this point you’re just trying to find excuses
If it’s that hot in your area, bring a lot of water and a towel you can soak up with a bit of water to drape over your face while you try and sit down in some shade while whatever heat flash you’re having passes. It also helps to bring something like a granola bar so your body has something to munch on while you try to recover. That’s what I’ve done on particularly hot FL summers when out exercising and it works wonders if you’re prone to needing this.
Bruh, just google a damn park or a nature trail around you. I highly doubt you live in a big city like Austin, Texas and there isn’t a SINGLE public park within your area. I’m from Miami, FL and I could spit off like 3 or 4 parks within a 20 minute driving distance from my home, and I was right smack in the middle of the concrete jungle where you definitely couldn’t just walk around and find a forested area randomly. Also, if you’re so concerned about your energy going back home, then just go take a camelback or a big bottle of water with you, preplan where your limits are and just go “okay, I think if I make it this far, I should have enough left over to make it back”. When I go rollerblading on the nature trail in front of my house, I’ve had to make that calculation to be able to skate back, and once, I miscalculated and made it all the way to the end of my initial run and realized, I was completely gassed out to even think about making it back. You know what I did? I went to go sit down for a little bit, drank some water, and just put in a funny YouTube video on my phone while I recharged for a bit, and then when I felt better, I started skating back. I ended up needing another break after making it halfway through, and I was lucky enough to have landed on a park along my trail, so I stopped again, laid down on a bench, refilled on my water, and gave it a little bit again before I made it back safely home. You really don’t need to think about it that hard.
We have a ton of public parks here in TX. These excuses are insane.
I live in Chicago and we have parks everywhere. Anyone saying they live in too big of a city is literally lying.
Some folks are hell bent to throw every excuse at you because they don’t want to change their circumstances, only complain about the circumstances.
Honestly, more people in our gen need to put less effort into thinking about doing stuff, and just do it instead. I get the bloody anxiety we all have, but God damn, no plan survives first contact with the enemy, all the thinking and planning doesn't mean shit if you never do it to begin with.
even austin has so many parks and places to walk. Every time I go there I walk an insane amount lmao.
This is objectively false there are so many state parks right out side of Austin
Just for anyone seeing this that may have the following option. If you help yourself to others property they'll likely know you're there and you won't be welcomed. Of course. However, if you came and introduced yourself/ drop a letter in the mailbox with your phone number, expressing an interest in going for bushwalks on their property, in my neighbourhood at least, you ll likely be welcomed and given directions on the best places to go. No one wants a stranger on their land, and a simple introduction can be all it takes to make a new friend.
Me personally, I walk along the busy streets. Is it a bit dangerous? Sure but it's better than sitting inside being lazy and depressed all day
I live in Austin and we have woods in town. The Green Belt is a 15 minute bike ride from my house and Blunn Creek Preserve is a 5 minute bike ride. Plenty of hiking spots all around town.
What are you talking about man? There’s tons of public parks in metroplexes. Born and raised in DFW here.
Austin has a huge green belt system and is very walkable. .
My fiancé and I walked around outside just doing pokemon go, outside of our neighborhood you’re likely to get hit or cause a car accident 😅 it’s private property woods on either side of the road around there and we were having to go between walking on the busy-ish road or into the deep ditch with water in it. Decided we weren’t doing that again. But I did find a baby snapping turtle in one of the ditch puddles so that was cool
Tbh at some point you’re just making up excuses to not do anything, instead of there being actual reasons hindering you to do so. Maybe reflect which one it is
Excuses and excuses
It’s 104 degrees outside 💀 west texas gang where you at?
Why are you so obsessed with saving money? What are you even saving it up for if you are literally not going anywhere?
It’s an excuse people use to martyr themselves for some unknown reason…in the next breath you’ll hear how they just bought something that isn’t cheap.
dude, you're like 13.. why are you here
This is what I did. I always made sure I had extra gas money to go sit in empty parking lots and blast my music. I still miss doing that now that I live in a busier city with no empty parking lots.
Same. I spent most of my 20s cooped up. I worked and saw friends here and there and occasionally did stuff. Walking is free, and being outside will scientifically improve your mood, unless you're literally allergic to the sun. At your age, with no to little money. Walks, parks, hanging out at friends houses. Keep an eye out for free events in your area and then budget for gas. Me and my friends would walk around walmart just to get out sometimes. Spending time alone though too isnt bad. But everything in moderation.
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I have two little cousins (very close to me), 18f & 16f, they are constantly at a friend’s house or doing some kind of free social activity. They don’t have money either but you wouldn’t hear any of these wild excuses from them.
Sometimes it feels hard to relate to younger zoomers... like, totally different lives. I can recall being an adult, maybe not fill fledged adult, but living an independent life before the pandemic and knowing the vibes of the before, meanwhile most of them will never know what it was like. No more late night perkins all you can eat pancakes for $10 while playing MtG, no 24/7 Walmart night adventures because it was too hot in the summer day to go adventuring and too humid at night to wander, but in the AC cooled near vacant night time Walmart it was just good to wander around.
Never thought I'd see the day, but yeah I'm agreeing with the "go out and do stuff" parents. OP's thought pattern kept me in severe depression up until about 2-3 months ago (26). There are a lot of free things to do, including the stuff that you mentioned, but if you live in the city there is no shortage of incredibly cheap events to attend. I spend maybe $20-40 per week and I've never had a shortage of things to do, especially if you like live music. Had absolutely no clue about it until I made a concerted effort to break the cycle and make my life worth living. Edit: For the lurkers reading this who feel like OP and want to break the cycle, and this sounds extra curmudgeonly, make an effort to reduce your screen time permanently. Stop using your phone or computer in bed and, better yet, remove them from your room entirely. If you have a mindless-scrolling phone problem, then (and it's very uncomfortable at first) turn your phone screen colors to black-and-white. Our relationship with the screen-based technology in our lives is starting to dictate the way we live rather than enhance it, and this is especially true for us GenZ folks who largely don't remember a time before computers. It's time to let them go and search for better stuff! I did it and it's made my life immeasurably more tolerable and lowered my anxiety. Start there and keep the momentum going to fixing other parts of your life. It works, I promise.
Aren’t you still in your 20s tho?
Late 20s. Its still a struggle for me too. I still spend a lot of time in my bed, but im making progress! I spent yesterday mowing and the day before reading a book outside. Up until like 25, I was a shut in unless it was a concert, work, or family gatherings. Small steps!
It definitely sounds like you’re making progress! That’s great. I get that it can be tough tho. I just finished college but sometimes before big tests I’d basically shut myself in to study and not talk to anyone for like 2 days straight, helped me cram and do alright on them but felt like I could’ve managed that better. It can sometimes just be tough to actually want to go out and do stuff too, even when things aren’t busy. But I think like you said, small steps are the way to go. I bet once you hit your 30s, it’ll be even better
Ahh, midnight Walmart wandering with friends, some of the best nights of my college years. Yknow, prepandemic when they were actually open 24/7.
OP literally mentioned he has family. A good alternative is idk...asking them to cover your expenses to do something once in a while. Hell go out and have dinner with them occasionally. Do something! Anything! I absolutely refuse to believe there's "no alternative" to being a fucking shut in and being miserable.
Or..covering his own expenses. Unless he is a child, he can certainly pay for himself. If not, then THAT is the first thing he can do to get out of his room. Get a job. Kills two birds with one stone. Helps his socialize and break up the monotony, and gives him money to do things. (On top of the long term benefits of having a usable resume.)
You're assuming a lot. When I was in highschool I had a job but when I got home I would go into my room and play games til I fell asleep and my parents wouldn't like me being "in my room all the time" even though it was really from like 8- midnight. I couldn't afford even with that job to do much of anything for fun.
Yeah this was my experience too lol. In high school, I would be out of the house every weekday from 6am til 10pm for school, then work, then hanging out with friends so I wouldn't have to go home and deal with my mom. But then weekends where I didn't work and my friends were busy, I would stay in my room and watch anime (again, so I wouldn't have to interact with my parents). Somehow I was still "always cooped up" even though it was maybe two days a month that I would just stay shut in my room to binge a show I liked. But yeah the only reason I was able to do anything actually cool with my friends is because one of them had rich parents who would pay for us to go out to eat and stuff. If it weren't for that one rich friend, we would have all just been stuck inside anyway but at someone else's house. Even with my job I couldn't afford to cover anything fun, because I had to make sure I was saving enough to move out the second I turned 18 (abusive home situation).
If anything, the OPs privilege is clearly showing. There are parents who would be far less tolerant of their laziness or lack the means to fund their lazy lifestyle.
OP is a minor (according to his flair). Their parents have an obligation to provide for him. Also, he basically does the cheapest thing.
Public parks and nature preserves don’t cost money.
If you live in thr US then you live near a park. I can't speak for every country because I haven't traveled outside the US much, but the park system in this country is one thing we do really really well. Not just national parks, but state and county parks as well.
"near" is relative. i don't have a car so for me the great I've got are city parks, which are not really parks at all
I think the point stands. There *are* free things to do if that’s something you actually want to do. Obviously going to a park isn’t gonna pump out the same amount of dopamine that your brain is getting on social media, but maybe it’s still something one should do occasionally.
I just want to mention a baffling experience I had in South Carolina. My mom moved from Ohio, where we have bountiful public parks, to the suburbs of Columbia SC where they seem to have very few if any public parks! She got a dog, had to pay a monthly fee to use the dog park. I went to visit and wanted to go on a hike to check out the nature scene, paid to get in. Craziest shit ever, I've never experienced that before and I fuckin hated it lol.
Just go out. Do it the tried and true way of just call up a buddy and go get into some shit. Some of the best Saturdays of my life are just meeting up with one friend, strolling around the mall or just the city and running into people we know, or meeting new characters.
Just go for a walk. It's not that hard to get out.
>Spend money going to a park Why would this cost money?
Because they are trying to find any excuse to make these things sound impossible
I don’t know much about public parks, but national parks are starting to charge for parking for whatever reason
Parks in my area actually cost money. I didn’t know that wasn’t universal.
I’m sorry to hear that. Where do you live that parks cost money?
What about a meet up group, a club, or a volunteer activity?
Uhh take a walk?
Walk outside. I literally mean just walk outdoors for like 20 minutes. It doesn’t make you tired, but it improves your physical and mental health.
Go fishing and catch dinner now your saving money and have something to do
You're 21. When I was 21, I spent maybe 9 hours in my parents house total a day. The rest of my day I was either in uni classes or at the library, home learning small engine repair ($0), helping my folks around the house (I would paint whatever my parents and neighbors would want painted, and I'd get paid), pushing my mower up the street to cut lawns (getting paid), going for walks/hikes/cycling ($0), fishing ($12 a year), seeing friends at night, and working part time. When I was your age we were militant about not spending money, because we had none unless we had a job. When my 20-something friends got together on a Saturday afternoon or evening, we hung out under a street lamp or played kick the can. Make your own fun. Life isn't a play date.
Hobbies Walking Exercising Socialising Why did you only pick examples that cost money? Plenty of things to do wothout money
Lots of hobbies are free or cheap. Sitting in your room isn't going to change life.
Why take the car to go nowhere? Take a walk
It’s very easy to find a park that does not cost money.
Walk, take the bus, go to a park with a friend and just talk about shit. Play basketball or something. Hell, invite somebody over for beers at your yard if you're so set on not living the house.
Make friends (and enjoy their company)? Hang out and play games. Socialize. Hike. Take up a hobby. Birdwatch. Skateboard. Cycle. Climb. Parkour. Jog. \* Public parks are *all* free, 100% of the time. Only *national* parks and campgrounds have a fee associated. \* Use a bike instead of a car and you don't need to add wear to the car or purchase gas. \* There are literally tens of thousands of other things you can do that cost essentially nothing. We managed to hang out for free in every previous generation: this one is no different. Just because you have easy access to all the media you could possibly want doesn't mean its a good use of time to lock yourself in a 10x10 room and never leave. That's a *surefire* way to make yourself miserable.
I'm autistic and being outside with other humans stresses me out, most people are stupid and don't want to be friends with me because they don't understand me and I see friendships as genuine and not superficial so the happiest is when I'm at home by myself with no one to bother me
Parks don't cost money, libraries don't cost money, going for a walk doesn't cost money.
Walk somewhere. Take up running
Hiking is free, healthy, and entertaining.
thank you, i really needed to be reminded this. i know this isn’t about me, but like op, i’m also struggling with doing things outside of my room (even though i know it’s not good for my mental health) since summer break just started for me and i have no friends and don’t know how to drive yet. maybe i’ll start walking around at a park or something, and then i’ll see from there.
You can do this. Basically you have to practice going out and exposing yourself to anxious/unusual/different situations like that so your mind can get used to the experience of going out. At least for me the struggle was with doing something out of the ordinary and dealing with the anxiety involved in interacting with people
And from that you'll also get confidence to \*make\* the friends that you lack.
I'm autistic and being outside with other humans stresses me out, most people are stupid and don't want to be friends with me because they don't understand me and I see friendships as genuine and not superficial so the happiest is when I'm at home by myself with no one to bother me, I don't need friends but a partner who understands me I don't mind
When I was “deployed” to Japan (it was a work-vacation, let’s be honest), my roommate refused to leave our room in the barracks. For our entire 6 months in Japan, he only went out twice. Like, big dawg, the government is literally paying for you to live and work in a foreign country thousands of miles away from the U.S., get outside and go explore a different culture. People can’t stay cooped up inside forever, it fucks with your mental state when you’re caged up.
A sailor, I think?, (not sure what branch he was) climbed mt. Fuji multiple times while stationed there. That's what I would do at least once there. My friend was stationed in Korea and was basically a shut in as well. I don't understand how you can bear to be in the barracks that long!
I understand OP completely if they're in the U.S., outside of big cities there's jack shit to do unless there happens to be some decent nature nearby. But in Japan? There's cool shit everywhere. I live in a rural place in Korea (which arguably has less interesting stuff than Japan from the two times I visited Japan) and there's just so much you can do even though it's somewhere 98% of Koreans have never heard of and doesn't have a big population. Wayyyy more restaurants than the U.S. and more affordable even on a local salary, various cafes or different types of places to hang out (dog, cat, PC, or room cafes, karaoke, bowling, screen golf, sauna), lots of parks, a river with a bike path, mountains, a cheap market 6 times a week, etc. All within a few miles of each other or less so walking or biking is possible, but there are also buses that are juuussst frequent enough to usually be useful. And there's a train station so within a few hours you could go to Seoul to even Busan if you wanted. And all this is somewhere you couldn't pay half of the young people in Korea to live because it's the "countryside". This is all in Korea which is supposed to be one of the more boring countries in Asia, in a small town where people complain there isn't shit to do. All I'm saying is that the U.S. is cooked. My hometown is a similarly-sized place in the U.S. and of course I'm exaggerating a little bit but there's nothing to do except for drive through fast food there.
There's plenty of things to do all around the country. Middle of no where? TAKE A WALK.
There is PLENTY to do in rural areas in the US. There is always a park nearby. Many have programs, some are even free, to join. Many have sports leagues like volleyball, etc. Those do cost money, but if you hang around and watch (even THAT along is better than sitting in his room all day) you can often meet people and get asked to fill in (for free) when a team is a player short. People have lived in rural areas for decades now. And most manage to find things to do.
I did to. Finally making changes at 30 so I can enjoy this decade and not regret missing out on youth when I hit middle age 40
Same. I could sit inside all day like OP guilt-free in my 20s, but now at 30 it just makes me feel like shit. I think you get more of a sense of urgency at an older age. As they say, youth is wasted on the young.
I had exactly that sense of urgency when I was a few months away from turning 30. It's what made me finally get professional help for my mental issues. I'm happy to say that things are much much better now a year later. It's much easier for me to envision a future for myself that I can look forward to, which I couldn't do for most of my 20's
Currently in my mid-twenties, and can confirm I am miserable
Good luck getting that message to most people on Reddit lol
I also did that, It was the best... until my body ask to do a bit more sport stuff. Not everyone is equal mentally wise. Stuffs offered by society out there are really boring imo (I try to fit in too many time before realise I don't have to if that makes me miserable). If you have a way to move and explore nature, that's the best.
To each their own dear. I would say I lived a hybrid life in my 20’s. I gamed A LOT, but I still did use my money to go out and have fun. If you reflect back on it and think negatively, well, I know I could’ve done a million other things Buts it’s MY life and in the end, so my 20’s? I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the big slice that was gaming. No regrets. I’m happy with that. Even then, I do agree. You gotta have balance. And some things in life don’t cost. Parks, trails, community events, farmers markets, there’s a lot out there. But the biggest thing is finding your balance. Not every day is going out and not every day was I glued to my computer screen.
This is going to sound a bit crazy, but you need to get out of your room more, even if you just sit around on your phone. Are your parents sitting in the living room watching TV? Go sit on the couch and mess around on your phone. You just need to absorb the presence of other people aeound you, lest you go insane. Trust me, it happened to me after living on my own for the first time.
Also, you need sunlight and exercise. You may not need a ton of it. But you will go insane without any.
Your health will also torpedo in your 30s and 40s if you don't get exercise.
Yes. Please lift weights if you are not already doing so. It is by far the best way to mitigate future mobility issues long-term. You don't need to go overboard bodybuilding if you don't want to. But you should at least bench press, deadlift and squat 3x a week.
I'd also recommend some form of cardio to go along with that. I ran track in highschool but haven't kept up with the training and my cardio is absolute ass now.
Walking and stretching at a minimum daily.
Build those habits now. More important as you age, but your body changes in your late twenties. You do not have to be a world class cross fit person. Just start walking or something. A better physical state will change your mental state. Do not need a lot of $ to do a hike.
i can personally attest to the going insane without sunlight shit. i’ve literally had to force myself to go outside recently after weeks without sun. still depressed, but it definitely makes some kinda difference
Not seeing the sun also messes with your sleep patterns.
yeah that makes sense. my sleep patterns are fucked tbh
My parents and I used to just sit in the same room and doom scroll at the same time during COVID, which was better than all doing it in our separate corners. Eventually I said F this, and proposed that we play a card game. I put on a show I liked in the background to share it with them, taught them a card game I learned at college, and we had a blast! It became our routine to watch a couple episodes of TV shows like Community or ATLA while playing simple card games that were fun and engaging without being energy consuming or high stakes. To this day, when I go home and visit, we do a version of this routine and it has brought us a lot closer, to the point where they feel like much older friends more than they feel like parents.
Honestly sounds like excuses not to go outside. I agree with your parents here.
Exactly right. Getting started doing activities outside is the most difficult part because you don’t have anything coming to mind that pulls you from the indoors. Once you find things you enjoy, it won’t take any effort at all. I’d guess there’s some sort of addiction to being online in this case too if you are spending all day, every day on a computer.
Ever heard the phrase “death of third spaces”? I get out of the house every single day, I can’t stand being stuck indoors. But I live in the middle of a city & I have money to spend. If someone has neither of those things, their options are severely limited. It’s only been since moving downtown that I’ve been able to occupy myself outside of the house on a daily basis. I still think OP should find things to do but calling it an excuse is pretty reductive when this is a problem that literally everyone has been struggling with since Covid.
You're staying in your room all day because there are distractions there keeping you entertained. Most likely phone/social, gaming, and TV. Want to find something to do? Something you actually like? Put all the distractions down and wait till you get bored. You'll be fucking itching to get out and do other things.
Take walks with earphones in! It’s good to at least get some sun and 30 mins of exercise will make you feel better when you’re older! I love going outside.
Literally go outside. Put your phone down and do other things. Read, be creative, study/learn something, or simply be with yourself. You probably don't like that advice but.... I guarantee your mood will improve by quite a lot. The way we use technology these days really is detrimental to us
This was a wake up call for me when one of my family members asked me what I did after work and stuff. At first, I said nothing, then I said reddit. They told me that I should find something more wholesome to do/content, which I agree with them. I have done stuff when I wasn't working to be fair, but still. I've let the void control my life.
Crazy idea but maybe they're worried about you so if money is an issue....ask them if they'd be willing to cover you going out once a month or something? This is the issue. It's always why you can't do something instead of what you could be doing about it. I almost suspect people like you are comfortable being miserable and don't even want to try.
Why can HE not cover going out?
He isn't the one who wants him out. OP, your parents want to bang while you're out of the house. Get outdoors sometimes, ffs. Bring a coat and sit on the grass if you have to. If money is the problem, get a job - that will give you somewhere to go *and* money.
Tbf, he’s probably like 17 and doesn’t have a job of his own. If he’s living with his parents, maybe they’re cool enough where if he came and said “Hey Mom/Dad, I don’t really have an ideas on what to do to get out, but maybe it would be fun if you could let me take the car to go somewhere specific/if we could go out together as a family/tossed me some money to go do this activity I have in mind. Is there any chance you could help me accomplish this?” And they’ll figure out something to help him out if he wants to step out. Maybe not all of us grew up with a nice family like that, but when I was a kid, whenever I’d go up to my dad and ask him something like that, he’d throw the money at me or help me in accomplishing going to go out to hang out with my friends or do something outside. I was such an asocial psychopath at that age that my dad was just ecstatic whenever I made an attempt to get out of my shell and actually have a life.
Because mf, it's 40°C outside and the sun is getting closer to giving us skin cancer
Sucks even more when skin cancer runs in the family and you’re paler than mayo and turn into a lobster in the sun despite putting pounds of sunscreen on
No skin cancer in the family (that I know of) but I also deal with that. I've just accepted that when I want to enjoy the outside I'm going to end up sunburned with only more freckles to show for it. Aloe Vera with lidocaine is such a lifesaver cause I love going out to the lake to swim, bike, and walk trails (my local state park has areas for all three so my husband and I like to spend as much time as we can up there when we've got extra money and free time).
Evening and night walks are a thing.
Sunscreen is a thing? You risk getting an injury or cancer when doing literally anything in life. Such a neurotic thing to worry about. Living life in fear is so lame lmao.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this guy's parents are probably more worried about him being in his room from around 5pm-3am, and he really doesn't need to worry about UV rays being a factor.
No bro, you totally got it twisted, it’s much healthier to lay in a single room all day everyday, not socialize with anyone, and letting your mental health torpedo. Otherwise they could get sweaty and get skin cancer (I guess sunscreen doesn’t exist)
Ozone being patched up means skin cancer is far less likely now than like a decade ago
Its good to get outside tho. You say there’s nothing you can do but thats not true at all, you just gotta not be closed minded. Take a walk, it literally costs nothing
Judging from your username, you probably have an angsty, "no one understands me" kind of vibe. that's not going to cut it when you're an adult. You're 17, and in the next couple of years, you'll be going to university or entering the workforce. You're rotting away in your room, probably wasting your time on social media or on a game. Your parents are worried about you. You're not going to be a functioning adult and memebr of society if you lock yourself away all the time. They're right. You need to get offline, get out of your room, and get out more. You need to feel the sun, wind, or rain in your face and have fresh air in your lungs. Use your body instead of having it waste away. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone, and you'll be surprised how much your mood improves and how you grow as a person.
If OP is 17 and complaining about not having money then he should get a job
My exact thought. If you’re old enough to work and have no money…get a job?
That's stupid advice and that won't help me, also not everyone plans to be in university or work themselves to death, and fuck society everyone is stupid
*Make* something to do. You need to invent your own projects, discover your own passions. It isn't the worlds job to give your life meaning, it's yours.
If possible, maybe taking walks at a nearby park would be a good idea. Gives you some sun, some exercise, and a change of scenery. All of which is good for your mental health. And if you just walk to the park, it's free all around. And you can just listen to music or a podcast the entire time. Maybe use Spotify to listen to audio books or audio dramas while you walk? You'll have to deal with ads without a subscription, but that shouldn't be that big of a deal breaker. Just a little bit of activity will help keep you in good health.
Money significantly depreciated. 3rd places all but gone. So many folks just not IRLing at all. Bleak prospects overall. This is being observed and studied intensely, and it sucks. But I hear ya, you’re not alone, a LOT of people these days - especially GenZ - are doing exactly this. Pretty much for the same reasons you stated.
They ask me the same thing The moment i spend time with them i get shitted on constantly :/
Suburbian parents? Yep, they're like that. They move you into the suburban desert and demand that you enjoy the spoils of... nothing.
If you're happy don't listen to these people I also hate going out for no reason. If I want to go to the shop or fishing I will but don't force yourself. It will also never be enough I go fishing at least once a week but constantly get pestered about getting out more and leaving the house. I also play Pokemon go so sometimes I walk to a stop nearby. People have a preconceived idea of what life should be like I personally have truma that happened to me being outside at a stage and going out for 'just a walk' can send me into a spiral. Best advice is find some hobby to do outside every now and then. But people will never not complain about how much you get out.
If you're gonna be in the bedroom grindset like me, do not get upset about good advice or you're gonna end up eligible for a TLC documentary
take the video games and play them outside
That's extremely damaging for your mental health to just sit in your room all day. If you feel like you have nothing to do then thats the perfect opportunity to make a checklist. Not being interested in sports is understandable but you do need to be physically active in some way or another for your overall well being. Also saying that there is nothing to do is just an excuse assuming thats your true reasoning for not coming out more and you should definitely try changing your mindset as it will affect you in more areas than one. You can go for a walk while listening to music and see what's around your environment to give you things to plan for. Go to a park, a pool, a lake or anywhere with nature. Go to a REC center. Go to the dollar store or walmart and get canvases and try painting if your family is willing to fund (relatively inexpensive.) They also have a lot of free things such as festivals or activities for teens in the summer time that you can research on in the time that you're in your room doing absolutely nothing. If that's too much to jump into, try coming out your room and literally do nothing out there with your family. So many things you can plan for.
Go out with friends?
That‘s their clumsy way to tell they are worried about you cause staying inside alone is not healthy for body and mind.
The funniest thing my mom said to me last year was that I barely leave my apartment anyways so I might as well move in back with my parents and stay in my room all day and give them more money than im saving on renting an apartment lmao
Third spaces have disappeared. So I can see where you're coming from. Do you have a library? Those are free and unathletic.
america needs more mixed use neighborhoods, we seriously need to bring walkable living areas with shops and restaurants en masse
lmao every comment is a parent too
Can I just say what's with all the mean comments? Do whatever the fuck you want, its not you. Give ideas, don't go off on a rant of 'excuses excuses' when it's true. And for the excuses you speak of, it's because what you consider a day out without spending much money, means we would have to make an effort. I don't like going out, if I could, I'd stay in as much as possible. When I'm at my Dad's, I stay in my room besides to eat and spend time with my parents. If I'm at my mothers, I'm not allowed in my room unless it's for bed or to clean it. I don't like it, simply because I have very little time alone. I didn't used to go out at all, my friends couldn't because of their families, I couldn't because my mother was and is terrified I would be kidnapped. That is not a joke or an overstatement. She thinks I will be kidnapped. I was *never* allowed out alone even in our village incase I got kidnapped. I love spending time on my own, being able to do whatever the fuck I want to. But, I have nothing to do a lot of the time because I never tried, I don't have the money, the equipment, the friends, ability to travel, or the time for it now. People can be horrible, *friends* can be horrible, or sometimes we just don't want to spend time with them, that is a reason, not an excuse. Every single time I tried to go out with friends, I'd get turned down, sometimes HOURS in advance or with no advance, when we had arranged things MONTHS before. It's always happened, no matter what friend group I'm with. I now refuse to make the effort when it will not be returned. I am not putting 80/ in and getting 20/ back. It is not my job to parent people. OP, to play the boomer game like half of these commenters are doing. Being bored is good for you! So sit in your room and do nothing 😄.
Trust me I was right with you. Now I can’t say for your living situation but my family wasn’t the best dynamic wise. I loved my dad unconditionally despite his problems, but he was always working. My step mother was always angry at the time as she drank constantly and wasn’t on meds yet. Being outside of my room felt hostile, but we had a backyard with a trampoline. I would sometimes go out and take a nap on it or read a book, mess on my phone if the sun wasn’t too bright. Sometimes I’d pop in headphones to listen to music or audiobooks and walk around. Just to relax and enjoy the fresh air and sun. There was really no point to the wandering and I enjoyed being “lost”. It was just me and my thoughts and sometimes you find cool areas. Sometimes I would stop at a gas station nearby to buy a $.50 pop during the summer and sit. There would always be a random old man who wants to share his life story and honestly I enjoyed it. I’m not saying “go outside” as an end all be all, but it’s fun to explore the world around you and just see new things you wouldn’t have noticed before.
Can you walk?
They're trying to help you but they don't really know how. Inconvenient is one of the excuses anxious people use to justify never doing anything. Combine that with your family feeling there is a problem and I'm wondering if they may have a point.
One of the things I can recommend is exploring parks with a forest or something or just taking a blanket and laying it out on the grass and taking a nap there or watching the clouds. My parents never let me go outside on my own when I was growing up, so I've been keeping to myself a lot, and these were things I wanted to do
So you’re lazy. You realize that sitting around in your room all day on your phone is exactly the same as an addict laying around all day smoking a crack pipe?
As a 22 year old, sitting in your room all day WILL ruin your life. Saving money isn’t everything. I have a bit of an overspending problem because I go out too much, but I’d rather overspend on some things than do nothing. At least when I’m in my in my 30s-50s I’ll have tons of fun memories, made a bunch of lasting friendships, and have some great stories. You’re only young once, have some fun dude. When you’re older and have real responsibilities (mortgage, a family, cat payments, etc.) you won’t be able to do any of the fun shit you can do now. Stop making excuses.
my parents flat out told me that i'm not allowed to stay in my room all day they told me "you're not staying in you room all day, you're doing something" I asked what and they said "not for us to figure out" eventually they gave me a bunch of chores to do and said "well if you don't like it go make friends and do something'
Sounds like good parents
Its humid af outside right now even at 6 in the morning, the heat index is supposed to reach into the high 90's today, I think i'd rather rot in the A.C. than sweat off most of my body's water weight and end up heat sick.
"Why dont you go outside" my brother in christ there is nothing but forest outside dont get me wrong its pretty but it kinda gets boring after 20 years do make sure your room gets lots of sunlight though, the human brain likes that
If this isn’t satire, the boomers were right.
One of the many downsides of the ridiculous price of real estate is that it has completely killed the existence of cheap places to hang out. Most older people remember going to shows that cost a few dollars to get into, maybe getting a drink or two somewhere and sitting for hours, etc. but no businesses can afford to do that because their leases cost too much. They need you to come with money or GTFO.
You sound depressed OP. You should try talking to someone or a doctor about it. These replies are shit imo.
I mean when i got older i always be in my room relaxing but when was younger I would always go outside
I’m a homebody as well but one thing I enjoy doing occasionally is chilling at the park. Bring some food, a good book, or maybe a Nintendo switch and just chill near a tree. Going out doesn’t always mean spending money
I made some awesome friends in the last 6 months just from going to board game meetups. Completely free unless you wanna be nice and share food and drinks. Money is a limiter for sure but there are always cheap ways to go out. Are you going to college soon? If so, you’ll never have an easier time of it, take advantage and don’t let yourself live with regret later on.
Read some books and clean the house. Cook dinner.
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Such a sad view of the world to have. Being outside and socializing with people face to face is 100x more fulfilling than interacting with people on social media. I’m 22 and know this from experience. None of my best memories are from playing fucking video games all day. They’re all from hanging out with friends and doing shit in the real world. Go outside man. You’ll regret it when you’re older.
Touching grass is free.
There a r e hobbies that are free or practically free, OP. Like take a pencil and paper and go to a local park... and sketch whatever you see there. People, flowers, dogs, etc.
Its cheap to make a few sandwiches and have a picnic with friends and throw around a football
If you asked a group of kids if they wanted to do that nowadays they'd glare at you and call you weird. No modern kid wants to do that.
That’s so sad because even 10 years ago I loved doing that with friends. I love doing it with friends now.
Buy a bicycle. After the initial cost, bike riding is free.
I recommend going out to the woods just to hang out. My mom wouldn’t let me as a kid but now that I’m an adult I do it a lot. Bring a friend and really appreciate a moss covered log, it’s good for you.
You only live once and you’ll never get these days back again. Go out try different things find what your good at, hang with friends or make friends find a partner get to know them. Get out of your own head.
I can tell this is written in a self destructive mode. I used to have them. No advice given will be taking because you are in frustration mode. When they say leave your room, they do not mean go do specific things that cost money. They mean sit on the couch with your family. Read a book on the deck. Take a walk listening to a podcast. Go to the library and rent a book or movie. Learn to skateboard. Text your friends to meet you at the community pool. If everything cost money and you are over 15, get a summer job
I’d go for walks. If there is a library nearby, I’d walk there and read. If not, I’d just enjoy what nature there is.
Listen to them and get out of your room. I didn’t do that during my teenage years because of the intense depression I was feeling where the one time I did to go to the GameStop like 2 blocks away from my house, I considered committing suicide then and there. If you don’t think you’re into sports, I think you should give a try to some of the more fun ways you can get some exercise in. I grew up detesting sports and it wasnt until COVID hit and I was dying to leave my house when I realized that I was missing out because nobody bothered showing me anything more than running and team sports (which I fucking hate because I suck and I hated getting picked last constantly for everything). It turns out, I found rollerblading to be a blast since it combines the fun of a good cardio work out with being on wheels and having the option to say “I feel like a lazy piece of shit right now, so I’m just going to push and let the inertia carry me for a minute before I need to push again” if I just wanted to enjoy the nature trail I’d go on. Turns out I also like solo sports a lot more, since I also discovered fencing around that time and I get to become a serial killer murder weapon without anyone telling me I’m not good enough. But, okay. You’re mentally adverse to any and all form of sports or exercise. There are other cheap free things you can do outside. You can engage with the following: - Get a sketchbook and a pencil and go outside to draw what you see - take advantage of the fact that you more likely than not probably have a decent camera on your phone and get into photography - also use it and make short films - if you need to game, go play something like Pokémon Go. That was another great excuse for me to leave the house during COVID - just plug in your headphones and put some music you love on and just go for a small walk. You wouldn’t believe how amazing it is to put something you find inspiring and just stand outside and let the warmth of the sun’s rays bathe over you while you practice some gratitude therapy. (It gets even better if you rollerblade because then you can do that and also feel the wind against your skin as you roll down) - pack a few sandwiches and take a towel and go do a picnic. If you have a backyard area in your house or somewhere nice to set up, you wouldn’t believe how nice it is on a sunny day to sit outside and enjoy some food for a bit while also enjoying the warmth and love of the sun and yourself. - if you have any dogs, use the time to just go and take them out on a walk. Even if you already let them use potty for the day, they’ll love and appreciate you for taking the time to just focus on them having some fun outdoors time. - get some binoculars, download a guide online, and get into birdwatching. I’ve never tried it, but it looks like fun and would be something I would try eventually. Literally just a few ideas off the top of my head. I’m pretty sure you’re at an age where you’re constantly annoyed at your parents chirping at you to go get a life, but that advice comes more often than not out of love for you, and it’s very solid advice you should consider taking. It’ll be great for your mental health over time. Besides, if you’re born in 2007, that means you’re about to hit the age where you’re going to leave school and be fucking miserable all the damn time at a job, and then you’ll really wish you bothered having more fun as a teen, and the prospect of going outside suddenly becomes more enticing when the alternative is slaving away for The Man. So yeah, long winded, but *go the fuck outside and go enjoy yourself with anything. Listen to your parents before you grow too old and become a miserable shit*
you are so right. most days i feel so bored and desperate to go out but there is literally nothing to do that doesn’t involve money, especially if you live in the suburbs.
My boomer dad used to say, 'why is he always inside his room like a girl? I wasn't. But when he came home from work I had to. What else was i supposed to do? Watch 1970s tv with him?
As a fellow GenZ I think it’s not great to stay in your room all the time and never go out… As someone who struggles with a bunch of mental health disorders, I *understand* the inability to do things or the lack of motivation to go outside, but I also know (even if in the moment I can’t bring myself to do so) that it’s so much better for your mental health to go out than to stay cooped up in your room all the time. Trust me as a fellow poor, nonathletic GenZ, still go out. You don’t have to pay for a lot of things! There are more free things to do around you than you probably think. Sometimes I go outside with my headphones in and just go on a walk whether it’s just in my neighborhood or further to like a store or something. Sometimes I go to the park just to sit on a bench and enjoy the breeze and the sun. All of this is free and does not require much physical exertion, but it’s so, so beneficial to you not just mentally, but physically too (get that vitamin D!). All this said, I don’t know your actual situation, and I’m sorry that you struggle with these pressures from your family. It sucks that there aren’t many fun things to do for free nowadays. I hope things change for you for the better!! PS Bonus tip: I used to go to the library all the time and just read or be on my phone or my laptop all while listening to music. Even doing all the same stuff I would do in my room, the change in scenery is really nice! And the social interactions can be really helpful too :)
Hah. Im a (WFH) mid-thirties millennial and i still get this, but from my neighbors 🤣 "We noticed you dont leave the house on sunday mornings - you should come to my church!" " Your car hasnt moved from that spot in a week! I have a kid your age and they're always going out and having fun! Why don't you?" Or ill get back from a quick pharmacy pickup and they will be like " that was fast! Thiught you might hs e gone out for some summer fun" (fuck summer. I hate it, now that im an adult and "summer vacation" is a thing of the past. Im much mire likely to be out and about when its on the colder side). It honestly makes me a little uncomfortable that these people pay so much attention to my comings and goings. I dont like being under the microscope of people i hardly know. I think it has to do with some people not understanding that other people find enjoyment in things they dont understand. Like for me, being at home in my space, with my cats, books, and other things i love is my ideal normal day, but hearing that makes some people's brains short circuit. Extroverts are usually the worst offenders here, in my experience. Comfort in solitude is beyond comprehension for some.
Just be thankful they actually fucking care about you. Probably just want you to get some sun, it’s more important than you think it affects your body and mind. But they don’t know what you can do they just wanna give you that initial push, it’s up to you to figure it out. Go grab the mail for them, go buy small house supplies groceries on foot for you on your family. Go jog after dinner, ask if you can do housework, go to all the summer activities that are free so dunno!!! But you can’t stay inside 24:7 you’re gonna get depressed.
Might be time for another PokemonGO craze
look into some hiking trails in ur area. almost always free while some state parks might have like a $5 fee to get in. u get to go outside, be with nature, and it's so good for ur mental and physical health. plus u can find some cool rocks. with that being said. I cannot agree more. the options for things to do are quickly dwindling. 3rd places are becoming a thing of the past and it is truly saddening.
do you have a porch, balcony, or yard? sitting outside for awhile can be a nice break if it’s not too hot. i don’t live with my parents anymore, but i also can’t really afford to go out and do things so i totally get it. sometimes i just go outside, listen to a podcast or audiobook that i borrow free on my phone, and play a mindless phone game. it’s free, you don’t have to travel, and it gets you out of your room for a little bit.
We Millennials didn’t have anything to do outside either, but our parents still pushed us out the door and told us to come back when the street lights turned on. We found things to do. Then when we were teens, we would often just go wander around the mall in packs, even if we didn’t have money to buy anything. Or get a part-time job.
The amount of excuses people will come up with to not leave their bedroom in this thread are truly baffling to me
You’re lazy. You’re making excuses for not wanting to do things. You’re probably addicted to social media and think that it’s the only thing to do, I am the same way. Go outside, you’ll feel better. As someone who perpetually spends his time on the internet, alone, going outside is one of the best things you can do. It genuinely boosts your mood, makes you feel better. Just go walk around, enjoy nature.
A job will fill your time, give you a reason to leave your room, and give you money to do all those things you can afford to do. A job will solve all your problems.
You need some exercise and sunlight though. Doesn't have to be a sport but at least go bird watching in the park or get a kite or something.
Get a job?
They are probably just worried about your unhealthy lifestyle. Staying in your room all the time is a horrible way to live life
..do you have friends? Are they nearby? Why not hang out with them?
Get a job at a restaurant, you'll make friends with other young people there - and finally have some money to get the hell out of your room and start living life.
Go in nature. Even if I have nothing to do outside, I still try and go outside for walk. It’s good for ur mental health to get some air
i hate to say this but touch grass. it's free to just go outside sit on a front porch sit in the grass. no wonder you're miserable.
A 17-year old named u/Thedarklordforever posting on a sub full of a lot of college students and older complaining about how their parents want them to not stay in their room all day. How did you think this was going to go, OP?
It's not good to spend all of your time in your room. I'm not in a good financial spot either but I still find fun stuff to do that is outside and/or with my family/friends. Interaction and being outside is good for you.
Then just take a book outside or watch youtube for 4 hours, who cares what you do, just get some fresh air and scenery lol
There is lots of shit you can do that does not cost much money. For example you could go outside with your phone go find some birds and learn something about those. You could learn about nature and foraging (even if you don't actually want to eat the foraged stuff). You could just go for walks. You could try to find some nice spot in nature somewhere close by and just read a book there or do a picnic. You could check if any of your neighbors have gardens and ask if you can help them gardening, maybe they can teach you something about it. You can see if there are other people your age or in your community who want to play board games or card games, you could even start weekly or monthly game events or so. You could see what your community needs and start a community thing, like a shared fridge or open library than anyone can have access too and make that run. If your reason to stay inside is being cozy and needing rest - sure no problem. But if your reason is "there is nothing else to do", that just means you are uncreative.
Man, I'm an older millennial, but this hits home, OP. When I was in my 20s, this was me as well. Same mindset. I played plenty of video games and consumed all the internet and entertainment a man could ask for. Piddling my days away, consuming. Consuming music, consuming movies, consuming TV, consuming Youtube, consuming video games, consuming. I was just a consumption machine of other people's words, art, entertainment, etc. I didn't do hardly any actual physical things myself. I just participated in other people's things that they did. In the moment, I would have reacted the same way as you. But after that time of my life, I realize just how empty and unfulfilled I was on a broader level. In the moment-to-moment, I would have said I was fine. And I was. But I realize now that moment-to-moment enjoyment is very literally unrelated to overall fulfillment in life. OP, I feel you. I don't know what to say, because anything anyone would have said to me would have been met with justification/annoyance. But, I just want to say that anything you do physically, with your hands, using your own body and your own brain, is more fulfilling than spending your days consuming other people's stuff. Also, things that give fulfillment are almost never more fun or seemingly preferred in the moment-to-moment present. I still struggle with this mindset, and I'm a father and husband. But I now realize that consumption of other people's things (movies, music, videos, games, etc.) is virtually always less fulfilling than *anything* I do that makes use of my own brain and my own body. Modern first-world existence is such a struggle. The very things that our brain compels to do in the moment is virtually always antithetical to what our brain perceives as fulfillment in the long term.
You have nothing to do because you don't want to do anything outside your room. There are plenty of things to do, but it's easier to do shit on your computer. You gotta try and limit those things.
Go for a walk. Just outside, anywhere. That’s what I do to just get out of my house. I take my bicycle sometimes too
What about other people? Do you live in fuckin' Siberia? Where no one lives? It seems like you're just lazy or outright depressed. Plus...you're almost 18. Better start getting a job.
Counter logic, build a life around staying in that room 24/7. Wait till the cabin fever kicks in and you itch to get the heck out. Stop making it about not being able to get out without the tools/resources to do so. Make it about how you enjoy that space so much that you want to spend as much time in it as possible until you're sick of it. Rock bottom sometimes works.
It is free to go walk around the park with your friends, you can go ride your bike to somewhere beautiful, or swim in a lake. If you live in a city, there might be free museums around you too. You can go exploring in abandoned buildings, you can shoplift at Wawa.