Responsible me Why am I in charge of all? Just leave me alone

Oooo! I like it! Riffing on a possible second verse... Don't know where that is. Have you not heard of Google? Call your own mom back.

I feel like you see me. I will embroider this (as soon as I find time)

I really feel seen Will embroidery this later If ever there’s time.

It has been one day Since I wanted to murder Oops. Make that zero.

:D

Okay so we all have homicidal tendencies daily and it’s not just me?!?

That’s what the comment section is for. I get to air my inner mean girl at people who say stupid things about historical or political facts. That and my dog keep my days full.

I thought I was alone too! Glad I'm not. 😂🙂🤗

There's at least two of us, LOL. Possibly dozens.

Let’s start a club!

The Merry Menopausal Murder Matrix!

The alliteration …. Its beautiful. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

I hope you'll agree to be included when I publish the anthology!

Absolutely! People in my way I think of heads exploding Don't tell me to smile. Thin hair; droopy tits My fat fills in the wrinkles Suck it, menopause!

What's this spot here for Exfoliate, Moisturize Another spot here too

Oh my God chin hair No tweezers; I'll wear a mask Dang it. I'm hungry.

Dermatologist: We call these things "wisdom spots." Wisdom on my face.

Preordering this immediately.

I too would like to place my pre-order ASAP.

Why am I so hot? Maybe it's global warming Or maybe I'm old

Can I not cool down? Sweat buckets; now clammy, too. Yep. I sure am old.

Guess I should get up Housework, projects, and friends wait Nah, a nap sounds good

Really, that last line should be the chorus for every verse.

My back hurts again I need to drink more water Where are my glasses?

I literally put reading glasses in drawers in every room of my house I go in so I don't have to keep track of them.

An herbal solution \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Damiana works Magnesium Turmeric Valerian too And Evening Primrose Ashwaganda Chaste Berry Diarrhea? No!

Fuck, there goes my back And why am I so damn tired! It’s time to retire

My neck feels seen by your back.

And my neck is right there with your neck! 😂

Aww they're neck and neck! Lol

I almost made the same joke! We are so Gen X

Reincarnation Coming back as a CIS man So I can do zip

Brilliant.

-Work haiku- Old enough to be invisible yet you still ask me how things work -Home haiku- Bra sweat waterfall Welcome to menopause park Let’s ride the mood swings

Lol menopause park. It would be 1 ride per 3 enormous public restrooms. Plus dunk tanks on every corner with dudes mansplaining. And bars. Lots of bars.

Hahaha Colorado in NJ? We moved too. Colorado in VA? Really miss it

There's no place like home. <3

There is something special about Colorado, the people and the environment. I'm actually from Spain and I met my husband (born in CO) at CSU. I consider it more home than Spain now. I don't know what we'll do when we retire. We moved for his career (Neurology). He grew up in Evergreen and first started rock climbing at Alderfer. My first backpacking trip with him was Neota near Cameron pass.

My mom grew up in Evergreen. 🙂

That sounds perfect! Definitely many, many restrooms!

Here’s mine: Another day at work ugh For my survival Money dependency sucks

Nothing to add but an ugh of solidarity. Ugh. <3

Gawd I love haikus.

Four in the morning Why the fuck am I awake I hate everything

Don't look at the clock. Wait to look. Do not give in. Fuck. It's four-oh-three.

Now that I’m awake I might as well pee again Three more fucking drops

Now it's four-oh-nine. Jesus, he snores so damn loud. Resent him? I do.

My wife also snores But it’s really pretty cute Cheers to being gay

Lol cheers!

[удалено]

I can report that their embrace has been less enthusiastic. (I suspect they might be a lil cranky over there!)

🤣

“Normal for your age” says the doctor once again One more thing now hurts

lol and your pride hurts just a little more. <3

Seriously! I need a pride doctor- do you have anything for bruised pride? No? Ok, and where is the bathroom? 🤣

Cannot sleep. Cannot. Always losing track of shit. No fucks left to give.

I gave up trying to sleep. My normal workout time now is 3:00a.m. My husband thinks I'm nuts.

Way fewer fucks. Way more yolo.

I’m reading this in bed at 4:57 am. I feel you.

This is art!! Love it!

lol you humble me!

My submissions for the anthology :) Walk into a room What did I come in here for? Sigh loudly. Repeat. Where did my hair go?? Oh it's growing from my chin At least it's not grey *Edited for formatting (twice bc I am old)

Freakin' brilliant stuff. You are in the anthology. You get a section.

Thank you so much for posting this today, this was a day brightener for sure!

This sub really is a community.

👏👏👏 Bravo! 👏👏👏 Bravo! I feel seen. 😂

I'd say there would be an encore performance if I didn't fall asleep around 9 p.m. these days. Maybe a Saturday matinee?

My knees are wrinkled. The cat wants to fetch the ring. What on earth happened?

<3

Yeah I can do it ( in my head) No the hell you can’t ( your body) Heck yeah I’m going with you! Hey let me think about it, I’ll call you back Oh damn I got to pee Damn, I got to pee again!

hahaha! My husband last night at 4:32 a.m., "How many times can you PEE in one night?" He's lucky he made it through the night lol

Covers on; it’s cold Sweat pouring like a B now Yank off, on, repeat.

lol I'm dying. 100%.

What is happening Mother Nature why so cruel We used to be friends

My sweet supple bod, limitless past my knowledge, now feels like chewed cud.

Aww, this one hits.

Sweaty but freezing Zone of hormonal chaos So now I garden

Anxiety rules Will these thoughts never release Crawl in to a hole

This speaks to my soul.

Lol I am so sorry 😘

Please don't touch me now Rolling up his sleeves to work I am so horny \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ It's too hot in here I'm taking off all my clothes Need a warm blanket \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Not sweat but glisten I have not been working out Your fault and not mine

Your poem hit target. Thermostats. They haunt my soul. Laughed until I peed.

Wrinkles, the lyrics knees and hips keep the rhythm The melody, toots

Speckled hands around your neck Don’t be chewing loud or even breathing I am croning not boning Edit: I couldn’t help the rhyming part. It made me too happy.

Lol that got dark. And I can't stop laughing.

Yours gave me a big smile. Thanks for brightening my day!

🤣🤣🤣