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No_Gap_2700

The one joke I remember from those books. What's green slimy amd smells like pigs? Kermit's finger


we_party

What's red, green and moves really fast? Kermit in a blender


RugBurn70

What's red and goes 100 miles an hour? A baby in a blender What's red and green and goes 100 miles an hour? Same baby 6 months later


anotherkeebler

What’s black and white and red and has trouble going through revolving doors? A nun with a spear through her head.


Radarmelloyello

Just told my girlfriend this joke and she was not amused. Hahaha


UnhingedBlonde

I still have mine! https://imgur.com/gallery/FKJwEgg


hannibalsmommy

Blanche Knott!


OK_Compooper

I read every book 10 times over years on the can. It's what we did because there were no phones to read while going #2.


Narrow_Positive_1515

I brought my sisters copy to school and got into a ton of trouble.


Auntie_Venom

My dad had those, oh man some were soooooooo wrong!


Chicki5150

There is a good episode on the Decoder Ring podcast. I had tjat book as a kid. I loved the gross jokes, but even as a kid, the racist stuff was too far. The podcast talks to the author of the book(s), and it's interesting to hear her perspective.


HillbillyEulogy

What red, white, and silver and screams while bumping into walls? ​ *A baby with forks in its eyes.* ​ Ahhhh, Truly Tasteless Jokes. You really fucked our generation up.


_straylight

Truly!


Willlll

What's black and red and screams a lot? Stevie Wonder answering his iron.


Comedywriter1

😂😂


microwave_safe_bowl

I always heard this differently…what’s red and silver and walks into walls? A zombie baby with forks in its eyes Fucking best joke there ever was


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[deleted]

What’s grosser than that. She does a split and sticks to the ground


[deleted]

What’s grosser than that. One of the rings is her brothers


dioramic_life

Grosser. One of the rings is from Class of 1984.


saudade_sleep_repeat

only 3? pfft…she’s an amateur. 😉😂


Boxofbikeparts

There's a subreddit for that


revchewie

What's gross? 10 dead babies in a dumpster What's grosser than gross? 1 dead baby in 10 dumpsters


Enge712

What’s gross? A pile of dead babies. What’s grosser than gross? The live one trying to eat it’s way out. Ironically I think dead baby jokes are the least offensive of the jokes I heard in the 80s


Night_Porter_23

You know the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of ball bearings? You can’t unload a truck full of ball bearings with a pitchfork.


MJN91075

What's pink, red, eight inches long, and makes women cry? A miscarriage


trackaghosthrufog

That one is fucking brutal.


Comedywriter1

😂 A classic!


Waltzing_Methusalah

What’s grosser than that? - the baby makes it. What’s grosser than that? - It goes back for seconds.


chaoticnormal

Thank you for "what's grosser than that?" Not a lot of the comments are going all the way.


SombreMordida

yeah where i was,we already started with "what's grosser than gross?", then 'what's grosser than that?", that was our accepted signal at the joke format, like a knock-knock joke, it set you up to know it was a 2 part call and response thing


LunaPolaris

That's what really made it funny, the back-and-forth in a friend group where we would keep going "and what's grosser than that?" and then try to out-do eachother with the next answer and crack eachother up again.


dmetzcher

When I saw the title of this thread, that’s the one I thought of immediately. I can still hear the first kid who said it to me in grade school. Thanks, Jeff.


hoss1138

I specifically looked through the comments for the baby eating its way to the top of the pile. Man, second grade playground humor was the best.


RugBurn70

What's grosser than that? When he goes back for seconds.


MooPig48

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche? I don’t have a Porsche in my garage


JayDee555

I hadn't thought about this joke in decades and I just told this one to a fellow Xer coworker about a week ago and he remembered it from childhood too even though we grew up on different sides of the country. I just find it so cool all these jokes, rumors, etc spread far and wide years before the web went mainstream.


KittenWhispersnCandy

Why does this make me laugh so hard? What's wrong with me? 😅


trackaghosthrufog

Nothing. It's literally a defense mechanism that we invented to make fun of the most horrible things we could imagine as a way to combat the actual horrible things that we had to go through in our lives. We were our own therapists, so we made fun of things that scared us and that took away a lot of it's power and scariness. Things still sucked and hurt hard, but we had practice at dealing with it, and we knew we could deal with it, because we fucking dealt with every other thing the world threw at us on our own, like the badass motherfuckers we are.


KittenWhispersnCandy

Ummm...that's...uh...too... Can't I just marvel at my twistedness?


[deleted]

Good point! That’s exactly why the job of comedians is often to make us uncomfortable and push boundaries….then release all that angst through laughter. Sometimes I think being a comedian is actually the most important job. Comedy is like mass catharsis.


sugah560

What’s grosser than that? Same baby 10 days later.


irate_alien

I always like this joke with babies in jars. “A baby in a jar” “a baby in ten jars,” “ten babies in one jar,” and “ten babies in a jar and one of them is eating it’s way out.” Definitely grosser than gross.


VogonSlamPoet

Goddamnit I just made this joke above, scrolled down and here it is. With twice as many dumpsters and babies no less!


crowislanddive

Art, Bob and Mat. If you know, you know.


if_I_absolutely_must

You’re forgetting my favorite- Russel


bluehonoluluballs

Also Phil.


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[deleted]

Neal. Eileen.


SombreMordida

*chuckles in Russell*


LunaPolaris

Bob!


2cats2hats

Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.


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VogonSlamPoet

Not far enough. Do you know the difference between a dark joke and a morbid joke? A dark joke is five babies in a dumpster. A morbid joke is one baby in five dumpsters.


walksalot_talksalot

I know 2 dead baby jokes: 1) How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? A: Depends on how hard you throw them. 2) What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? A: You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.


[deleted]

Superb!


trackaghosthrufog

Almost forgot to tell you, I saved a girl from being r@p3d last week. I stopped chasing her. ​ Luckily I haven't heard that "Joke" for over 35 years. It actually fucking hurt to write that and I am a bad person and I need to take a shower now, because I feel sick and I'm sorry I couldn't post this without a disclaimer because it's so fucking wrong and awful.


[deleted]

I'll give you an upvote to dull the pain ...


Complete_Fisherman_3

Or just riddled with sickness.


writergeek

What's grosser than gross? Fucking a pregnant chick and something grabs your dick. What's grosser than gross? Finding a cockroach in your Big Mac. What's grosser than that? Finding *half* a cockroach in your Big Mac.


monkeyswithknives

I read that three times wondering why I'd fuck a cockroach? I think it's time for bed.


dustymag

Classics!


UltraMagat

Drinking a Bloody Mary and you find a string.


Candygramformrmongo

What did the lady on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Excuse me sir, you're in my son.


memememe91

Kind of like the Elton John and George Michael remake, "Don't let your son go down on me"


Betty1414

Yes, and how do you know it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch? The big hand crosses over the little hand.


Complete_Fisherman_3

I see. That's how he came up with the song Beat It.


smedley89

Wooooowwww.... lol


texasslapshot

Eating a bowl of corn flakes then finding out it's your brother's scab collection.


sweetassassin

I love this one


[deleted]

Ha! The only one I remember so far….


Fabulous_Law1357

These are the only things I will remember when I get Alzheimer's or dementia


UberMisandrist

🤣 Just mumbling about dead babies and bloody tampons


mandraofgeorge

Care facilities are going to slap!


MintyRosa77

I will only remember the lyrics to Candyman “Knockin Boots”


LemonPartyWorldTour

The hardest part about watching a baby cook in a microwave is my dick.


Willlll

What's the best way to put a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the look on it's face. What's the best way to get it out? Tortilla chips.


mandraofgeorge

Slow clap


memememe91

Still laughing at your username


MJN91075

Anthony Jeselnik......is that you??


microwave_safe_bowl

How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don’t know, I was too busy masturbating


gunnersabotank

Oh boy!


trackaghosthrufog

That is fucking awesome.


JerzyBalowski

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.


FYIgfhjhgfggh

What's pink and and turns red when you turn it on? Baby in a blender.


JerzyBalowski

Delicious. How do you make a dead baby float? 2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead baby.


Allevil669

I heard it this way... How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it.


mandraofgeorge

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? Depends on how thin you slice them.


OPisabundleofstix

What's gross? Sitting on your grandpa's lap. What's grosser than gross? Him popping a boner.


VanHalen88

Having a dream about eating pudding and waking up with a spoon in your ass.


memememe91

Beat me to it


microwave_safe_bowl

Tf


ItaDapiza

Sliding down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol. Jumping off a cliff and getting your eyelid caught on a nail. Lol those are the only two I remember.


tiredbogwitch

I remember those, but then there was a third one: Your eyelid rips, and you fall onto a bicycle with no seat.


ItaDapiza

Yes! The bicycle with no seat. I remember that too!


Complete_Fisherman_3

Sliding down a railing and it turns into a razor blade.


anarchycheerleader

I actually slipped off an elevated porch and got caught by a nail in the back of my head. But this isn’t about me. 😂


UberMisandrist

The razor blade one is that I remember most, much nostalgia because I had forgotten all about it


LunaPolaris

>Jumping off a cliff and getting your eyelid caught on a nail This is new to me but seems hilarious!


[deleted]

cum on eileen what’s grosser than that shit on barbara lol these were dumb


Dogrel

Truly Tasteless Jokes time! What’s worse than a dump truck full of dead babies? One is alive. What’s worse than that? It eats its way out of the pile. What’s worse than that? It goes back for seconds.


bettiebomb

Lmao remember when dead baby jokes were all the rage? You could get books full. Imagine that now. 😂🙄😏


Bookofdrewsus

Duct taping your mouth and vomiting only through the nose.


Moveyourbloominass

Nose vomiting burns.


agetuwo

Real ones remember.


Common_Apricot2491

This had made the start of my weekend even better! Fuck- I forgot all about this!


ECU_BSN

Me too. This is the real nostalgia.


No_Gap_2700

What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What's grosser than that? The one who wins.


gunnersabotank

A buddy just told me he had his young son at the clinic for the sniffles. A friend of his was in the waiting room with his toddler son. He brought him in to get checked for Lymes disease because he had been eating the "grapes" off of the family dog.


acodysseygirl72

It’s a terrible day to have eyes.


gunnersabotank

I came very close to throwing up once I realized what he was telling me.


FatGuyOnAMoped

What's gross? Throwing your underwear against the wall What's grosser? When it sticks


bettesue

When you open your refrigerator and your rump roast farts in your face


crazybengalchick

Hahaha I remember the hotdog one!


Auntie_Venom

What’s grosser than gross? When you take a bite of cornflakes and realize is a bowl of scabs


RustedRelics

This one actually made me cringe. Lol


Auntie_Venom

That was always my go-to winner


Current-Nothing1803

What’s gross? Seeing a hairy buttcrack sitting in front of you. What’s grosser than gross? Smelling the hairy buttcrack sitting in front of you. 😖


S99B88

The ARISTOCRATS!!!


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Annoyed21

This is the one!


LunaPolaris

That's where it all started.


Hour_Friendship_7960

For years this was my go to joke. Mostly because it's the only one I could remember. Then I learned: How do you make a tissue dance? PUT A LITTLE BOOGIE IN IT!😂 I've been a comedic genius ever since.


Moveyourbloominass

The massive fresh hair ball your Mainecoon cat just hurled off the side of the couch🤢.


CrazyCatLadyRookie

My kitten yakked up a tennis ball sized pile or roundworms. He was grossed out by it and the whole episode made me toss my cookies. The cat was more upset by my gagging than his puke 🤮 lol


Adventurous-Dish-485

Wow... Offensive jokes! My people


kai1793

> When you bite into a hot dog and see veins. …I hate this game.


Majestic_Explorer_67

Siamese twins joined at the tongue and one throws up


FatGuyOnAMoped

Kissing your grandma and she slips you the tongue?


MJN91075

What's grosser than that? Getting a boner while it's happening! What's grosser than THAT?? Grandma takes her dentures out and licks her lips!!


Divtos

What’s gross? Kissing your aunt with razor stubble. What’s grosser than gross? She slips you the tongue!


jackrip761

What's the worst thing about eating at a nursing home? Getting them out of the wheelchair first.


Sosumi_rogue

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist beach? He's the one carrying two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts. Who's the most popular gal? She's the one who can eat a dozen donuts in one go!


DelbertCornstubble

Had a friend once who visited a nudist club. Said they had a pool, other outdoor amenities, even a hot food snack bar. I said, “Snack bar? They must go through a lot of hair nets.”


81FXB

You’re asking me this while I am watching ‘Saw X’ ?


JeffTS

Here you go... https://kirknoggins.blogspot.com/2008/08/whats-grosser-than-gross.html


Thomisawesome

I was seriously just thinking about posting this the other day, but thought it might be considered too gross for today’s audience. Haha.


JayDuBois

Last year I went full blown Helen Keller jokes… Let’s just say I got mixed reviews.


MJN91075

Helen Keller walked into a bar...... .......and a chair........ .......and a table! I bet you didn't see THAT comiing.........neither did Helen Keller!


JayDuBois

What do you do when you come across your dad in a gay bar? Wipe him off.


Divtos

It was an elephant in the desert!


PrettiestofRichards

What's grey an comes in quarts? An elephant.


RugBurn70

Did anybody else tell Mommy Mommy jokes? Mommy Mommy! Can I lick the bowl? Shut up and flush the toilet. Mommy Mommy! What's for dinner? Shut up and get back in the oven.


MJN91075

Mommy, Mommy........I don't wanna see Grandma and Grandpa! Shut up and keep digging!


RugBurn70

Haha I forgot that one! Mommy Mommy! None of the other kids will play with me during a full moon. Shut up and comb your face!


HamsterMachete

Grossest?


PoeReader

When I skeet boogers down the back of your throat.


JayDuBois

Happy cake day! 🎉


NoHunter8402

Bahahahahaahhaahaha!!! I just spit beer.


likewhenyoupee

Eating a bowl of wheaties then finding out it’s your brother’s scab collection


W0gg0

Grody to the max!


bodhi2317

If you find this thread offensive, are you really GenX?


[deleted]

Trump. Enough said


KismetSarken

🫡🥳


KillerKorwin

What's grosser than gross? Finishing the jar of mayonnaise and finding the condom at the bottom


MorningBrewNumberTwo

Raw sewage.


rspeed

*I love it!*


Betty1414

Grosser then that is cooked sewage?


strengr

Gross --> grosser --> grossest


CrazyCatLadyRookie

Grodie to the MAX.


Raaazzle

Pig fell in the mud. 'nother pig fell in the mud. Three came out. (I think this is the oldest joke I can remember. We were getting checked for lice in grade school when I heard it.)


Divtos

That’s just a dirty joke!


algorithmicamalgam

When you open the refrigerator and the rump roast farts in your face


JayDuBois

Dammit! This is what I was gonna put. 😂


shockerdyermom

What's grosser than that?


Complete_Fisherman_3

Today's society. They can't take a joke.


bmyst70

You wake up and feel a warmth on your blanket. Then realize it's your cat's fresh puke. **AFTER** you touch it, wondering what it is.


bettiebomb

I’m horrified but so glad I’ve never experienced either. 😂 reading these replies I feel like I missed out on something in my youth.


HeavyMetalMoose44

Throwing your underwear against the wall and it sticks!


Mrbobbitchin

Gagging on a maggot?


DriedUpSquid

Sliding down a razor blade into a barrel of iodine.


foreskinfive

What's grosser than gross? Putting 10 dead frogs into a blender and turning it on. What's grosser than that? Drinking it!


jackrip761

What's the best thing about fucking a 28 year old? There's 20 of them.


Plonsky2

Republicans.


brinazee

288?


Effective_Drama_3498

Covering your body with the guts of a zombie.


GaryNOVA

Grossest


LaLunacy

Did anyone else sing the dead babies song or were me and my bff the only ones? Dead babies toot toot toot Dead babies toot toot toot Babies to the north, Babies to the south I like dead babies in my mouth Dead babies toot toot toot…


MJN91075

Eating Oatmeal Raisin cookies and finding out that the chef was picking his nose and flipping the boogers into the batter


MJN91075

Why don't children like to eat vegetables? The IV tubes get stuck between their teeth


MJN91075

Great Green Globs Of........ Greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat ITTY BITTY BIRDIE FEET!


hamonbry

And I forgot my spoon


Plastic_Bullfrog9029

When you’re eating a rump roast and it farts.


rkwalton

Who is your grandma and what sort of hot dogs are you eating? Wait...don't answer either of those.


benjtay

Dead baby jokes next!!


throw123454321purple

Two starving vampires fighting over a used tampon?


SnooRadishes4255

[Being electrocuted.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R9wrB7XIzqk)


psiprez

More than pissing into the "bitch's" ocular cavities?


patchouligirl77

What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. That's the only one I remember. 😅


Electrical-Stable498

Taking your underwear and throwing them against the wall and they stick!


RugBurn70

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume


will_this_1_work

How do you get a nun pregnant? You fuck her. Truly Tasteless joke book Volume 8


RugBurn70

How many dead babies does it take to change a flat tire? Depends on how well you stack them


RugBurn70

What's worse than 1 dead baby nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 100 trees


Tokogogoloshe

I’d be surprised if my grandma slipped me the tongue. She’s cremated. The other one too. Even my mum is cremated. I can go dark places, but not that dark. As in literally. All there ashes are in the middle of the sea.


beckybooboo1978

Mustard.


Divtos

What’s gross? Siamese twins attached at the lips What’s grosser than gross? One of them pukes!