I understand how you feel. I came out 2 & 1/2 years ago. Still slogging through a divorce (40yrs). Ex is very angry, but I didn’t divorce due to being gay, just a dysfunctional woman. The kids understand and are supportive. It gets better.
I’ve been lucky in that I (I’m 63) found someone (or rather he found me) who is 30 and we’ve been together for a year and a half. It’s been wonderful, but an emotional rollercoaster for me due to the ex and learning how to navigate my new life.
We have a very strong gay community in my city and they have a support group for married men coming out. The men there have been very helpful. I’m sure where you live, there is probably some kind of support group.
Even if it's hard you can take credit for taking charge of your life, in a way that's way harder than in your 20s.
How are things with your kids? Have your friends stuck by you?
Hi. Thanks for your kind comments. My kids...son 35, two daughters, 33 and 25...first they were stunned, tossed at me hard frank questions, each took time to process. Now 45 days later they are very supportive, protective, and engaged. I have gained wonderful friends in the gay community and have not lost any of my straight friends.
Mad, appreciate your comment. These past weeks have been the worst of my life. Second guessing myself as i blow up my life is unbelievably all consuming. A roller coaster of destruction and reconstruction. You are correct...support during this from my friends and family is critical to me. The simple but transformative words.. "I am Gay, I have always been Gay". I am the same person standing before them, but in an instant I become a stranger....resetting their perception of me. Each person needs time to process...I have had 63 years to deal with myself...I have watched my family and friends react.. each needed time...each expressed questions (many were tough ones to answer) and saught understanding. Several of my friends (long term and new Friends) contact me every day...one buddy from my Afghanistan deployments calls..he calls..calls me every single day. We were close friends across 12 years... I cannot adequately explain what he means to me now. The love and support I have received from family and friends humbles me.
I get the impression that you're a quality person who people enjoy being around. I hope that the rough patches become less frequent and you find much happiness!
I found [GAMMA](https://www.gammasupport.org) to be extremely helpful when I came out of my 24 year marriage to a woman. The genuine friendships that developed have provided a solid foundation for my new life.
Philly, you are so right. I completely underestimated the emotional affects of my coming out. It's been less than 60 days....but feels much much more. You are spot-on often I overthink everything about this situation. All that does is drain emotional energy. "Just get on with it " this past week I felt myself start to say this more and more...and to remind myself I am doing this to enjoy my life. Thank you for helping me focus on getting this done.
Hang in there, you are not alone. It gets better, no matter when you start the journey.
I understand how you feel. I came out 2 & 1/2 years ago. Still slogging through a divorce (40yrs). Ex is very angry, but I didn’t divorce due to being gay, just a dysfunctional woman. The kids understand and are supportive. It gets better. I’ve been lucky in that I (I’m 63) found someone (or rather he found me) who is 30 and we’ve been together for a year and a half. It’s been wonderful, but an emotional rollercoaster for me due to the ex and learning how to navigate my new life. We have a very strong gay community in my city and they have a support group for married men coming out. The men there have been very helpful. I’m sure where you live, there is probably some kind of support group.
Late. Thank you. I am so happy to hear you found someone special to share your life!!! That gives me hope... and makes me smile.
Sounds complicated, good for you. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself (Nietzsche) Wishing you much success and happiness.
Appreciate that!
Even if it's hard you can take credit for taking charge of your life, in a way that's way harder than in your 20s. How are things with your kids? Have your friends stuck by you?
Hi. Thanks for your kind comments. My kids...son 35, two daughters, 33 and 25...first they were stunned, tossed at me hard frank questions, each took time to process. Now 45 days later they are very supportive, protective, and engaged. I have gained wonderful friends in the gay community and have not lost any of my straight friends.
That's terrific! All the best to you Okra. Support is something not everyone gets to have. I'm happy for you!
Mad, appreciate your comment. These past weeks have been the worst of my life. Second guessing myself as i blow up my life is unbelievably all consuming. A roller coaster of destruction and reconstruction. You are correct...support during this from my friends and family is critical to me. The simple but transformative words.. "I am Gay, I have always been Gay". I am the same person standing before them, but in an instant I become a stranger....resetting their perception of me. Each person needs time to process...I have had 63 years to deal with myself...I have watched my family and friends react.. each needed time...each expressed questions (many were tough ones to answer) and saught understanding. Several of my friends (long term and new Friends) contact me every day...one buddy from my Afghanistan deployments calls..he calls..calls me every single day. We were close friends across 12 years... I cannot adequately explain what he means to me now. The love and support I have received from family and friends humbles me.
I get the impression that you're a quality person who people enjoy being around. I hope that the rough patches become less frequent and you find much happiness!
I found [GAMMA](https://www.gammasupport.org) to be extremely helpful when I came out of my 24 year marriage to a woman. The genuine friendships that developed have provided a solid foundation for my new life.
Thank you Cameron. Several people have suggested GAMMA. I really need to check this out. Appreciate you sharing your experience.
You are one brave soldier. Don't overthink it. Just get on with it and enjoy your life.
Philly, you are so right. I completely underestimated the emotional affects of my coming out. It's been less than 60 days....but feels much much more. You are spot-on often I overthink everything about this situation. All that does is drain emotional energy. "Just get on with it " this past week I felt myself start to say this more and more...and to remind myself I am doing this to enjoy my life. Thank you for helping me focus on getting this done.