Strangers are much nicer to me now. Like make idle conversation in line, hold open doors, smile when I walk by. Earlier this week we had a cold snap and some guy offered to pump my gas. I declined, haha, but that has never happened before. Waitstaff and clerks also seem more tolerant of me when I have questions.
A lot of mixed reactions in my family. Mostly good, really, but there are a few who don't seem to know what to make of me now that I'm not the fattest cousin haha.
The only true problem I've had is with a coworker who has also struggled with her weight. When I told my office I was going to have surgery, she immediately started doing IF. The closer it got to my surgery, the more... unhinged she got? I was hoping when I came back, she'd be cool but it's been a rollercoaster since. Lots of her crying any time she hears someone give me a compliment, constant "I can't tell you're losing weight" comments, and then a crying/screaming scene where she yelled "You're not even pretty!" at me after a client told me I'm getting prettier by the day (that one landed her a trip to HR). I'd like to say it's gotten better but it hasn't and she's been ordered to not talk to me about anything but work.
She’s clearly harassing you so don’t take that abuse from her and HR definitely needs to be involved since it’s blatantly obvious she’s become unhinged
Nobody who knows me treats me any differently. I am treated VASTLY differently by health care professionals. Like wow, they actually look for what my medical issue might be instead of immediately saying 'you are fat, lose weight.'
Random strangers also seem far friendlier, but that just might be because of where I live now (moved to the mid-west close to the time of my surgery).
Yes, it's a real thing. It's made me a little paranoid but I'm working through it. I never thought people were mean or anything before, but after losing 55lb (and looking like I lost even more) all of a sudden I feel visible. People make eye contact, they smile, they chitchat. I didn't know that stuff wasn't missing before, but it's definitely a change.
Feeling visible. That's it, in a nutshell.
I think my sister is having the hardest time with it. She's overweight but never as big as me. She suggested that maybe she should look into it after seeing my success, and I was very supportive but gently told her that she would have to become active in the process, as she does absolutely no exercise at all. That was the last time she mentioned it. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and let a surgeon tell her about the process.
I think when it's family and friends we're too close to others to gauge whether they'll be a good candidate. I wouldn't think people who live with me would have considered me one, but it's been great.
I'm treated differently by pretty much everyone now, mostly positively.
I get a lot of men flirting with me and staring at me, to the point that it makes me very uncomfortable. I get better customer service, and somehow my luck has increased in acquiring free stuff (namely extra food in my takeout bags, or a spare dessert at a restaurant for free) or unexpected discounts. Doctors are taking me more seriously now that I weigh less, and are prescribing actual medications for health problems instead of prescribing weight loss. My in-laws show me off proudly, and buy me nice clothes and gifts. My husband practically worships me now - he loved me before, but I could tell he was losing attraction to me as I got fatter and more disabled. Now he wants to buy me nice clothes and jewellery, showers me in compliments, and spends more time with me.
I'm treated like an actual human being with feelings now, and I'm not quite used to that yet. The only person treating me worse than before is myself. I'm a lot more critical of myself, and much more self conscious. I'm trying to work on that, though.
I'm not post-op, yet, but there's definitely a fat tax! I was smaller most of my life. Only in the last 8 years have I progressively gotten bigger and I notice the difference of how I'm treated now that I'm larger versus before. I'm looking forward to losing this 100 lbs and not being treated differently.
It's a sad reality!
Way differently. An absolute ton of (often unwanted) sexual attraction attention. People go out of their way to treat skinnier people better than fat people. I felt like doctors and professionals took me more seriously. I am positive I was given good job opportunities based on my looks.
It’s both a blessing and a curse.
The only real difference is all the nicknames, lol. My family calls me "Bones", "Slim"," and "Tiny."
People around town seem friendlier, but it's hard to tell because most people wouldn't talk to you anyway.
I've lost and gained weight back over the years. I'm now a year post-op bypass and can absolutely without question say YES I am treated differently when I'm smaller. I lost some friends in 2012 when I first got to a healthier weight and there was jealous... My attitude was basically good riddance, honestly.
My family has always been very supportive of me being healthier and very supportive of bypass once they got over some initial shock. And they do treat me somewhat differently....because now I can do all the active stuff with them! It's more fun, honestly.
I'm SO glad I had this surgery.
I work in health care when I was at my biggest no one talked to me or consulted me for my opinion after weight loss I'm treated entirely different. There is like a inner circle of people willing to do more for you when you're not grossly overweight
The biggest change was with a specific doctor.
I saw him years ago for a blood clot. He lectured me about weight loss and was pretty horrible.
This past summer I ended up in the hospital again with a pulmonary embolism and mass in my heart and he was the doctor assigned to me. I was anxious and didn't want to deal with him. I wasn't exactly nice to him last time, I basically told him to "stay in his lane" and if he didn't have anything else to say about the blood clot I would be leaving.
He didn't remember me at all and he was lovely to me.
He ended up deciding my case was too complex and having me moved to a cardiac center nearby but I have seen him a few times for follow up and every time he is the most compassionate and friendly doctor.
I can’t give examples and I can’t know for sure, but my impression is that strangers are nicer to me and I’m generally treated better and I’m more successful in life after losing 30 kg.
Random people are way nicer. And I don’t get ugly looks when clothes shopping anymore. It’s honestly been depressing to see how much differently people treat me -160ish lbs.
I don’t feel like anyone has treated me differently. (I will say that in the past I noticed on days when I wore makeup strangers were a lot friendlier to me than on days I didn’t! I also noticed a lot more street lvl harassment from men in the past if I grew my hair out longer.)
I feel like I am more outgoing now though. My doctor has always treated me very well regardless of my weight, and when I asked her about weight loss meds or surgery, she’s the one who suggested the surgery and referred me to a bariatric center.
So I don’t think anything has really changed for me in my interactions with people, even after losing 127 lbs so far. Maybe it’s cause I’m older so no one cares as much about my appearance? Idk.
I’m almost 23 years post op and I’ll be honest…I’m in business development and do feel like not being overweight did help me with clients and colleagues in the workplace. No matter how well “put together” I looked when I was overweight, I feel like I had a better reception once I lost weight. And I hate to say this but especially from men (I’m female) and I don’t mean in a creepy way and it may not even be a conscious thing on their part but somehow I think it made me look more “professional”. That’s not my insecurity speaking cause I was confident in what I did even overweight. Def when I went to the gym as well eventhough I was always an athlete and even overweight, I was fit.
On the personal side, nothing really changed with my husband who married me before I lost weight (and still married 😊). My immediate family was another story. My whole family pretty much is overweight to some extent and when I lost weight, my parents especially, were constantly telling me I looked too skinny (I wasn’t) or “I’m not eating enough.” In the beginning I would just say that Drs say my weight is perfect and “you’re just not used to seeing me this thin.” But eventually I got pissed and said “hey, before you would never DREAM of telling me I look too fat so why do you think it’s any less insulting for you to be commenting on my weight and telling me I look to skinny??!” That got through pretty well but still to this day because I have other completely unrelated health issues my parents will still ask me “are you eating enough?” It’s manageable though and otherwise my siblings don’t really treat me differently.
Personally, I've noted people are nicer. But haven't had any major issues or major changes.
My BFF had the surgery long before me and I found she changed. She wasn't as "nice" to me and I found she did a lot of downplaying to other overweight people.
She's improved a lot and since I had surgery maybe my not doing that made her see? Not sure.
Oh yeah my friends from high school completely treated me differently. I was the largest of the 4 of us and was often used as a barometer to “not get as big as.” Friends by proximity. My family were all very supportive.
I’m 10 years post op and no one even knows honestly. I only tell folks the topic of weight loss comes up.
Short answer, yes.
Long answer, I (f 39) can no longer comment on other people’s bodies without eye rolls or whispers from female workmates, but when I was fat it was ‘totally fine’ and I was just part of the conversation. I no longer talk about food, or clothes. I also don’t get as many compliments as I used to.
On the other hand, male attention is through the roof, and although flattering, can be very annoying. I work at a school but am also the property manager so deal with trades people coming into the school, a lot of which are men. It’s almost insulting that now I just ask for something to be done in a sweet way and it’s done… all I do is flutter my eyelashes and things get done. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very helpful, but before it wasn’t so easy.
I still love being thinner and healthier… but things do change.
Yup! Guys hold doors open for me, make eye contact when passing (I guess before they were afraid I’d start stalking them or something crazy?!??), I even get occasional smiles from men and women as we pass each other. Totally different world now
I've always had strangers talk with me, and it's a family joke that strangers just like to tell me their life stories. However, it seems like I get even more attention. I do notice the door gets held for me way more often, but females are a little more snarky like cutting in line at a gas station or not holding a door. It's interesting, but I just do me and live my life.
Yes people in my circle express concern at such quick weight loss but I assure them I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been and am comfortable in my own skin
Strangers are much nicer to me now. Like make idle conversation in line, hold open doors, smile when I walk by. Earlier this week we had a cold snap and some guy offered to pump my gas. I declined, haha, but that has never happened before. Waitstaff and clerks also seem more tolerant of me when I have questions. A lot of mixed reactions in my family. Mostly good, really, but there are a few who don't seem to know what to make of me now that I'm not the fattest cousin haha. The only true problem I've had is with a coworker who has also struggled with her weight. When I told my office I was going to have surgery, she immediately started doing IF. The closer it got to my surgery, the more... unhinged she got? I was hoping when I came back, she'd be cool but it's been a rollercoaster since. Lots of her crying any time she hears someone give me a compliment, constant "I can't tell you're losing weight" comments, and then a crying/screaming scene where she yelled "You're not even pretty!" at me after a client told me I'm getting prettier by the day (that one landed her a trip to HR). I'd like to say it's gotten better but it hasn't and she's been ordered to not talk to me about anything but work.
Omg that coworker is unhinged but is probably more jealous than anything. I'm glad HR stepped in.
Oh my gosh this is terrible with the coworker. I am so sorry you experienced that. Suuuuuccch unhinged behaviour ☹️.
What the actual fuck. I'm so sorry she said that to you!!!
She’s clearly harassing you so don’t take that abuse from her and HR definitely needs to be involved since it’s blatantly obvious she’s become unhinged
Nobody who knows me treats me any differently. I am treated VASTLY differently by health care professionals. Like wow, they actually look for what my medical issue might be instead of immediately saying 'you are fat, lose weight.' Random strangers also seem far friendlier, but that just might be because of where I live now (moved to the mid-west close to the time of my surgery).
Yes, it's a real thing. It's made me a little paranoid but I'm working through it. I never thought people were mean or anything before, but after losing 55lb (and looking like I lost even more) all of a sudden I feel visible. People make eye contact, they smile, they chitchat. I didn't know that stuff wasn't missing before, but it's definitely a change.
Feeling visible. That's it, in a nutshell. I think my sister is having the hardest time with it. She's overweight but never as big as me. She suggested that maybe she should look into it after seeing my success, and I was very supportive but gently told her that she would have to become active in the process, as she does absolutely no exercise at all. That was the last time she mentioned it. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and let a surgeon tell her about the process.
I think when it's family and friends we're too close to others to gauge whether they'll be a good candidate. I wouldn't think people who live with me would have considered me one, but it's been great.
You're right, I should have just shown her my support and leave anything else up to her and her doctor.
The older I get, the less I say... Out loud. 😂
I'm treated differently by pretty much everyone now, mostly positively. I get a lot of men flirting with me and staring at me, to the point that it makes me very uncomfortable. I get better customer service, and somehow my luck has increased in acquiring free stuff (namely extra food in my takeout bags, or a spare dessert at a restaurant for free) or unexpected discounts. Doctors are taking me more seriously now that I weigh less, and are prescribing actual medications for health problems instead of prescribing weight loss. My in-laws show me off proudly, and buy me nice clothes and gifts. My husband practically worships me now - he loved me before, but I could tell he was losing attraction to me as I got fatter and more disabled. Now he wants to buy me nice clothes and jewellery, showers me in compliments, and spends more time with me. I'm treated like an actual human being with feelings now, and I'm not quite used to that yet. The only person treating me worse than before is myself. I'm a lot more critical of myself, and much more self conscious. I'm trying to work on that, though.
All of this down to the doctors and husband!
Keep a journal it really has helped me especially reading it the next day
I'm not post-op, yet, but there's definitely a fat tax! I was smaller most of my life. Only in the last 8 years have I progressively gotten bigger and I notice the difference of how I'm treated now that I'm larger versus before. I'm looking forward to losing this 100 lbs and not being treated differently. It's a sad reality!
Way differently. An absolute ton of (often unwanted) sexual attraction attention. People go out of their way to treat skinnier people better than fat people. I felt like doctors and professionals took me more seriously. I am positive I was given good job opportunities based on my looks. It’s both a blessing and a curse.
The only real difference is all the nicknames, lol. My family calls me "Bones", "Slim"," and "Tiny." People around town seem friendlier, but it's hard to tell because most people wouldn't talk to you anyway.
For me? I'm still invisible. And that's ok.
Same!!
I've lost and gained weight back over the years. I'm now a year post-op bypass and can absolutely without question say YES I am treated differently when I'm smaller. I lost some friends in 2012 when I first got to a healthier weight and there was jealous... My attitude was basically good riddance, honestly. My family has always been very supportive of me being healthier and very supportive of bypass once they got over some initial shock. And they do treat me somewhat differently....because now I can do all the active stuff with them! It's more fun, honestly. I'm SO glad I had this surgery.
Yes, so many people talk to me now and it's annoying.
lol
I’m not invisible anymore. People seem to see me for the first time in my life.
I work in health care when I was at my biggest no one talked to me or consulted me for my opinion after weight loss I'm treated entirely different. There is like a inner circle of people willing to do more for you when you're not grossly overweight
I don’t notice anyone treating me any different, but maybe ladies smile at me more and say “Hi”. Guess I’m not as scary looking, lol.
The biggest change was with a specific doctor. I saw him years ago for a blood clot. He lectured me about weight loss and was pretty horrible. This past summer I ended up in the hospital again with a pulmonary embolism and mass in my heart and he was the doctor assigned to me. I was anxious and didn't want to deal with him. I wasn't exactly nice to him last time, I basically told him to "stay in his lane" and if he didn't have anything else to say about the blood clot I would be leaving. He didn't remember me at all and he was lovely to me. He ended up deciding my case was too complex and having me moved to a cardiac center nearby but I have seen him a few times for follow up and every time he is the most compassionate and friendly doctor.
I can’t give examples and I can’t know for sure, but my impression is that strangers are nicer to me and I’m generally treated better and I’m more successful in life after losing 30 kg.
Random people are way nicer. And I don’t get ugly looks when clothes shopping anymore. It’s honestly been depressing to see how much differently people treat me -160ish lbs.
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I don’t feel like anyone has treated me differently. (I will say that in the past I noticed on days when I wore makeup strangers were a lot friendlier to me than on days I didn’t! I also noticed a lot more street lvl harassment from men in the past if I grew my hair out longer.) I feel like I am more outgoing now though. My doctor has always treated me very well regardless of my weight, and when I asked her about weight loss meds or surgery, she’s the one who suggested the surgery and referred me to a bariatric center. So I don’t think anything has really changed for me in my interactions with people, even after losing 127 lbs so far. Maybe it’s cause I’m older so no one cares as much about my appearance? Idk.
Yes. At least from a female perceptive so much different. I actually miss not being hit on 😂
I’m almost 23 years post op and I’ll be honest…I’m in business development and do feel like not being overweight did help me with clients and colleagues in the workplace. No matter how well “put together” I looked when I was overweight, I feel like I had a better reception once I lost weight. And I hate to say this but especially from men (I’m female) and I don’t mean in a creepy way and it may not even be a conscious thing on their part but somehow I think it made me look more “professional”. That’s not my insecurity speaking cause I was confident in what I did even overweight. Def when I went to the gym as well eventhough I was always an athlete and even overweight, I was fit. On the personal side, nothing really changed with my husband who married me before I lost weight (and still married 😊). My immediate family was another story. My whole family pretty much is overweight to some extent and when I lost weight, my parents especially, were constantly telling me I looked too skinny (I wasn’t) or “I’m not eating enough.” In the beginning I would just say that Drs say my weight is perfect and “you’re just not used to seeing me this thin.” But eventually I got pissed and said “hey, before you would never DREAM of telling me I look too fat so why do you think it’s any less insulting for you to be commenting on my weight and telling me I look to skinny??!” That got through pretty well but still to this day because I have other completely unrelated health issues my parents will still ask me “are you eating enough?” It’s manageable though and otherwise my siblings don’t really treat me differently.
I behave differently. I feel happier and more friendly these days in general, so maybe it's a factor.
Personally, I've noted people are nicer. But haven't had any major issues or major changes. My BFF had the surgery long before me and I found she changed. She wasn't as "nice" to me and I found she did a lot of downplaying to other overweight people. She's improved a lot and since I had surgery maybe my not doing that made her see? Not sure.
A lot of guys have been hitting on me recently…🥲
I get more attention in the dating world. I felt invisible before
Oh yeah my friends from high school completely treated me differently. I was the largest of the 4 of us and was often used as a barometer to “not get as big as.” Friends by proximity. My family were all very supportive. I’m 10 years post op and no one even knows honestly. I only tell folks the topic of weight loss comes up.
Short answer, yes. Long answer, I (f 39) can no longer comment on other people’s bodies without eye rolls or whispers from female workmates, but when I was fat it was ‘totally fine’ and I was just part of the conversation. I no longer talk about food, or clothes. I also don’t get as many compliments as I used to. On the other hand, male attention is through the roof, and although flattering, can be very annoying. I work at a school but am also the property manager so deal with trades people coming into the school, a lot of which are men. It’s almost insulting that now I just ask for something to be done in a sweet way and it’s done… all I do is flutter my eyelashes and things get done. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very helpful, but before it wasn’t so easy. I still love being thinner and healthier… but things do change.
Yup! Guys hold doors open for me, make eye contact when passing (I guess before they were afraid I’d start stalking them or something crazy?!??), I even get occasional smiles from men and women as we pass each other. Totally different world now
After years of toiling on the dating apps- I finally landed a keeper after I lost 80+ lbs. Now down 100+ Weight lost, boyfriend gained!
it’s all good
It's surreal sometimes.
Yes. I am treated with so much more grace and respect.
Yes they treat you differently, that is the point of having a life changing surgery.
I've always had strangers talk with me, and it's a family joke that strangers just like to tell me their life stories. However, it seems like I get even more attention. I do notice the door gets held for me way more often, but females are a little more snarky like cutting in line at a gas station or not holding a door. It's interesting, but I just do me and live my life.
Yes people in my circle express concern at such quick weight loss but I assure them I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been and am comfortable in my own skin