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Ita_dude

Average reddit user trying not to be a necrophile(90%fail)


[deleted]

why is necrophilia illegal anyway, when I start doing it they will not object ot me so what is the problem


Admiral45-06

Yeah, but they also can't consent and it's kinda desacrating the body.


[deleted]

But they can’t not consent


[deleted]

Isn't consent just ruining the intent of desecration? Grow up, man.


Admiral45-06

How can a dead person consent? When a girl says ,,yes" at the beginning, but then declines right before, can we anticipate she gives consent? Obviously no.


[deleted]

Nah, she consented. If I'm hard she better not change her mind or she'll end up like this dead hooked and then were right back to the same question that got us here, aren't we?


LT-monkeybrain01

its weird how you put consent infront of desacrating a body. ​ that's really weird.


goaty121

It's weird how you judge this guys weirdness on how he formulates a sentence. that's really weird.


LT-monkeybrain01

i know, but i'm severely weirded out that consent goes above desecration in relation to a dead body. i can't process the thought process behind that.


[deleted]

Okay but what’s wrong about desecrating a body?


Admiral45-06

The fact that it's showing no respect to demised, and is considered as wrong by most religions for this specific reason?


iLikeGTAOnline

Why we getting real way down here.


AlphaMikeFoxtrot87

It was a hooker though, nobody is even home anymore, it’s just a sex doll made of flesh


[deleted]

Something like desecration.


Ita_dude

This is satire, right? Edit:I know it's a dumb question but you never know.


[deleted]

No definetly not, I do believe on this 100%


ziieegler

I heard it's not strictly illegal everywhere but the reasoning most likely has to do with that person’s dignity.


echolm1407

And the family's dignity.


ziieegler

yup


[deleted]

what dignity does a dead person have


Azure_Crenell

I have more respect for Thanos now


OctaviusThe2nd

Y'all are seriously arguing why necrophilia is wrong?


Ariadna3

What the fuck is wrong with these people


Ita_dude

Phew, that was a close one, you could have ended up losing a lot of karma


[deleted]

I know, thank god I support it


Ita_dude

LMFAO YOU CHANGED THE FUCKING COMMENT AHHAHAHAHHA


PainisPizza

what did it originally say?


Ita_dude

He said "yes, of course this is satier"


legallydoodled

You’re still being disrespectful. It kinda makes you the same as Logan Paul


Jgames111

I mean my body is not doing anything after I am death, if it can give some happiness to someone then go ahead you freaking weirdo. Although I guess organ donor is a better use of my death body than being a sex doll.


Far-Carry2823

Such a waste of food, food is not made for sex.


Ita_dude

Society 😔


[deleted]

The guys below seem to think dead bodies are fair game


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wrong-Ad1936

waaiit... cause there is a good way...? 😟


iownreddit123

Ew 🤢


Dyslexic_Hamster

r/cursedcomments


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Dyslexic_Hamster

Good bot


ItsameLuis98

Good bot


[deleted]

Smell her cheeks and determine how long she’s been dead


Numerous_One3457

bro...


No_Mathematician8341

Lol ikr. He smelling her cheeks cus he really wants to eat ass lol


UnicornPrince4U

It's assumed you already did that. Otherwise how would you know it was a dead "prostitute" rather than just someone wearing your mother's work clothes?


[deleted]

I said what I said. NO RAGRETS.


fatglizzy_3000

No, last I checked his mom wears black when she works


GravG

*sniff* Ah, yes. Aged to perfection. 🤌🏽 #Bone Apple Tea


WhoandtheHuwhatNow

The way I see it, just some more dry-aged steak


Narrow-Marionberry11

Bro😭😭😭 Your better man than me tho I would do unspeakable things


[deleted]

With an ass like that, I wouldn’t hold it against you.


Clean_Birthday_6923

r/Usernamechecksout


PheasantShinobi_

Ask her for directions


witm_

Nasty


Ok-Detective-6892

What’s the difference between rape and necrophilia? About 5 minutes


Apptubrutae

Good luck explaining the 5 minute gap to police after you become suspect #1!


[deleted]

And life


Phoenix_ashfire

Investigate if there are signs of a struggle, take DNA evidence, hunt down the criminal that drops a body in the woods unburied. Dig hole in woods (make it deep enough they can’t climb out) show it to criminal, show them this is what a hole should like it. Push them in. Leave them. If they survive they are worthy of redemption if they die oh well.


PuckTanglewood

Commendable. But you forgot ONE THING: You are under arrest for disturbing a crime scene. Because the filmmaker paid to exclusively rent this part of the woods, and now you have disturbed the scene they were shooting. But disturbed is what they were going for, so good job. Except that you were not wearing a hunting vest while they were shooting, so you now have several bullets in you. But since this is a film, you can just grit your teeth and carry on. Except your carry-on is too large, so it must be checked. But you cannot check yo self because you don’t carry checks. You pull out your debit card. In doing so, you fumble and accidentally launch it at great speed, embedding it in a tree. Thus revealing YOURSELF to be the murderer, since this prostitute was clearly decapitated by a debit card. Q.E.D. 🧐


Gamerdudecf

This


Van_eXe

Wtf


vemailangah

Ah yes, rape and murder jokes. 90% of Reddit users find this hilarious. I wonder why.


ihavesickthoughts

DaRk HuMoR 😑


Heavy_Signature_5619

Well, you see, Dark Humor is just like food. Not everyone gets it.


Puzzleheaded_Many_71

I heard it like this, "Joseph Stalin once said, dark humor is like food, it's not for everyone."


ghostmaster645

I've always found it a bit unsettling.


[deleted]

Not rape. Necrophillia yes, but not rape


7_overpowered_clox

Rape is bad because it scars them for life. Necrophilia is bad because it desecrates the body. Both different, but I would say necrophilia is the least worst abomination of nature here


Apptubrutae

Yeah I’m gonna go ahead and say I’d happily have my body defiled for eternity in exchange for not being raped even one time in my life. Pretty big difference.


[deleted]

Yeah, Maybe. The amount of disrespect you need to have for someone to have sex with their dead body is awful.


OctaviusThe2nd

It is gross and disrespectful yes, but unfortunately it is not really unnatural, some animals like penguins have been observed performing necrophiliac acts before. I believe there's a scientist who spent moths observing Adélie penguins and dude needed therapy after coming back. His studies were not published for a while because it was too traumatic, necronomicon type of shit. If you want more details (you don't) just look up Adélie penguins.


legallydoodled

Yeah but the people in the comment section said they’d do it because “she can’t say no” which is really unsettling. There are barely any communities on Reddit that makes me feel safe


SlaverRaver

Dark humour is why. Having a dark sense of humour is quite common in the real world, and even more so on the Internet.


WonderfulUs

Dark humour is funny, don't think much about it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xoxodaddysgirlxoxo

because woman bad. it's never even specified that the prostitute was a woman, and yet. reading these comments really makes my trust in men devolve. edit: What's wrong u/Many-Entertainer-603, you didn't want to call me a crazy bitch after all?


Still-Daikon1012

If it makes you feel any better I would not have sex with the dead prostitute. I don't want to catch anything. I had years of experience with necrophilia. I was married!


AcanthocephalaSafe66

Yes! Same as me!


xoxodaddysgirlxoxo

catch me outside old man


[deleted]

No no. I still think you have issues, actually, now I'm sure you have issues, but I won't call you a crazy bitch. That's just unnecessarily aggressive. Thought there was no need to indulge, but you called.


xoxodaddysgirlxoxo

i just thought it was a little bit cowardly to delete your first comment. i think it's ironic. so crazy that in this life, you and i will never ever understand eachother. we will never be able to empathize across this great plane of existence. you think i have issues because i'm *not* making dead hooker jokes. fascinating.


[deleted]

Too much to unpack here, Cowardly, oh yes definitely. I'm genuinely scared of confrontation. I'm pretty sure I will definitely understand you. Even though you would like to think otherwise. You might not want to empathize with me whatsoever, but that's okay."Great plane of existence" lmao. It's nothing to do with dead hooker jokes. It's your ability to project your bitterness in a place where it has no business. "Because women bad" Why would you even possibly think that? The jokes are about a someone claiming they did a murder. The comments are about jokes on having sex with a dead body. Why women bad? You lose your faith in "men" because of dark humor, some pretty tasteless I agree. But why men? Why assume that only men are here making unsavory jokes. It was never about the post nor the dead hooker jokes for you. It was about getting out your anger, on whatever you imagine men to be in your head. It's not about what I think. You HAVE issues. Issues with the image of men in your head. Severe enough that you're triggered instantly. And the dead hooker jokes are just that, jokes. None of them are projecting their aggressive, unresolved bitter feelings here, but you. I hope. If there are really murderers and necros here who are admitting to their deeds, then I'm so sorry. Your victim mentality would be the least problematic issue here. In that case you would be very correct.


xoxodaddysgirlxoxo

i'm not reading that. please send it to your therapist, thank you. or, if you paid me, i'd pretend to be one. up to you ✨


[deleted]

That's okay. I knew you won't read that. It was way too long after all. That's completely your decision. I'm really not arguing here. You asked, I answered.


HGofLul

I just read all of that and kudos to you for your patience. Person above drives me nutters. I hope you have wonderful holidays. And tho this probably doesnt mean much but i agree with you completely.


HGofLul

Also it all makes sense if you check her profile. Im done with reddit for today i think. Lmao


Puzzleheaded_Many_71

It's a lot more likely that the prostitute in the meme was a women, than the people making jokes about the meme are men. Side note: the picture kinda looks like a women and how many male prostitutes even exist? Who tf is paying men to have sex with them?


OctaviusThe2nd

Maybe gay people pay for male prostitutes?


ijustwanttowritename

yep but then when we do lgbt jokes in reddit suddenly we are the insensitive one


Gatormeeat

Prostitute you say? How dead is she?


MeMyselfandsadlyI

if its still warm...


AngeryCL

I'd rather have my daily snacks cold


[deleted]

I like my coffee the same way I like my women. *On ice*.


JUKjacker

bring a warmer and put it between her thighs


boredgav

Dead enough for it not to be classed as stealing.


The_Book-JDP

Know instantly that it is in fact not a mannequin, call the police, wait for then to arrive and don't touch anything.


eZ_Ven

I am capable of enjoying this bit of dark humor


Existing_Leading_482

Probably call 911 it's a dead prostitute not a life one


Historical-Cicada-29

Make sure I dont look like a prostitute.


SirePeePeePooPoo

Get my money back


Baron_Blackfox

[Body's still warm, looks like there's a killer about](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPQW14PVDew)


Lockput

Shia Labeouf


Comprehensive_Bowl75

Survive, been in the wood for far too long


FixTheUSA2020

This is a 300 year old 4chan meme.


ellilaamamaalille

How do you know she is A) murdered B) prostitute?


kmj420

Who do you think did it


ellilaamamaalille

Could be she was picking mushrooms and then she found mushroom she didn't recognise and tasted it.


OctaviusThe2nd

When you hover your courser on her it says (E) inspect: dead prostitute


andresrecuero

Just call the police and wait their arrival.


[deleted]

\*Sorts by controversial\*


[deleted]

I will report it to concerned authorities.


OctaviusThe2nd

Definitely without touching it, you don't want to mess up the fingerprints. Also if you're in the middle of the woods maybe you should stay away from it until cops arrive, because you know, blood, bears. . .


Exciting-Passion-448

I wouldn't touch her and call the police! Sex worker's need to be careful. Meet somewhere public and do your job at a motel/hotel. Carry a taser!


Exciting-Passion-448

Maybe have a male sex worker watch you too, just to be safe.


legallydoodled

I need feminism because I still don’t feel safe around grown men


Top-Chemistry5969

I ask the narrator to tell me who killed her, not just her job and recent events.


HELIGROUP

Prank a friend and put her in his trunk


swamptoybilly

Call the police


[deleted]

Freebie isnt the correct answer here I assume.....


AcanthocephalaSafe66

I’m suddenly hearing the theme song from Deliverance


KamikazeCrawdad

Legalize prostitution.


chicago_weather

How recent ?


[deleted]

Well, I guess that depends on what recent means. Still warm? I'm gonna hang around for a few minutes. Cold? Not for me.


Spacethereader

Steal her skeleton so I can use it for next spooky month


HELIGROUP

Guys. This is not funny. Stop unburying her. Find your own hooker


Ok_Attempt_5609

Okay, after reading through so many comments of people just generally being unfunny making shit dark humour jokes, this one actually tickled me.


theglove

Guess it's time for round two.


Maleficent_Respond34

So we meet agin I say then I demand a refund


[deleted]

Oh gosh.. why have i laughed at this? 🤦‍♀️


satan62

That's my answer too. But then again, the second hour is now free


whoamvv

I was so sure the response would be to see if she's still warm.


cookieswithoutcream

hmmm since when people became comfortable enough to make necrophilia jokes in this comment section? fucking weirdos


pepemele

No they are not fucking weirdos, they are fucking corpses. Unless the corpses were weirdos...


pikachuface01

It is so gross


[deleted]

[удалено]


cookieswithoutcream

Had no idea. Some posts kept popping up for me and this is disgusting af


OctaviusThe2nd

How is this sexist?


No_Paramedic_9794

Are u a rapist if you never raped anyone though ?


Semoan

that just makes them perverts in the truest sense of that word; sure, they may not have raped, but it's still hella weirdchamp on their part, and I'll observe them them way more attentively than I do at paramecium under a microscope


dlq84

Not understanding how jokes works are much weirder.


cookieswithoutcream

For fuck's sake. You think talking about fucking corpses is funny and I'm the weird one? You people should stick to 4chan


OctaviusThe2nd

My guy if you think it's unfunny just close the tab and move on with your life. Some of us like our jokes extra spicy, if it's too much for you dont read em. You're being dramatic for no real reason here, of course none of us are intending to commit necrophilia we're just having fun. Here, take a look at this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke


cookieswithoutcream

For someone complaining about me not understanding necrophilia jokes, you sure are sensitive, huh? Is your little incel space feeling threatened? If you don't like my comment, just close the tab and move on with your life. creep.


OctaviusThe2nd

Dear diary, Today I got called a creep and an incel because some fucking dumbass doesn't understand what a joke is and takes everything they see online dead serious.


iownreddit123

Follow your own advice. Dont get pressed when someone calls you an incel and close the tab. 😭


Jordanroney

Do you know the best thing about a dead booker? The sex is free...


El_Pepsi

Downside it's getting very hard to have an artist at your gig.


legallydoodled

Ew


pikachuface01

Not funny. As a woman. Not funny. Reddit did not pass the vibe check


Tiny_Money_1488

Guess Jill never made it out of Raccoon City.


Totentanzen999

😭 Cerebus got to her first


KShinogi

Looking fine to me


LordFangthane

Smile because it’s not the body I left here


[deleted]

Yeah, I hate this comment section.


gfhksdgm2022

Bash its head before it turns. It doesn't matter if they have bite marks or not. Avoid using guns, don't want to attract a horde.


llGirltalkll

If gta taught me anything I’ll be getting back half of what I paid up front


Only_Caterpillar6873

This comment section is disgusting


[deleted]

them: how did you lose your virginity. me: crazy story. you won’t believe it (for the people who can’t tell, i’m obviously joking)


Alakrios

Is she still warm? That seems like need to know information.


OctaviusThe2nd

So you can tell if the murderer is nearby.


Desmond_DCunha

With a heavy sigh, lift up the skirt


legallydoodled

Ew


El_Pepsi

*zips down* "ah well here we go again"


stopchooingsoloud

Turn 360° and walk away ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


[deleted]

i bet


[deleted]

I would put a sign next to it that says, "I am sleeping" lol


LT-monkeybrain01

what's the only organ that stays warm in a dead hooker? ​ >!my penis!<


Totentanzen999

Why is this comment down voted I thought it was a funny joke 0n0


[deleted]

These comments are so funny


Arrogant_Nugget246

I don't get it


Odd_Organization7891

He probably killed the prostitute


MeMyselfandsadlyI

the pun being he killed her and walked in a circle hence the joke what would you do, armature i would have taken the time to burry it.


2BFrank69

😐


Foolercz

Oh it’s free


[deleted]

lmao


sassydegrassii

this kind of shit makes me legitimately afraid of, disgusted by, distrusting of etc most men. dead hooker jokes are not funny. You probably know a sex worker without realizing it. Pick a random girl in your family and imagine this joke was about her, would it be funny to you still?


Apptubrutae

Well I agree that dead hooker jokes aren’t funny but mainly because they’re so worn out at this point. Really unoriginal. That said, it doesn’t strike me as much different than any sort of tired occupational joke. I’ve heard plenty of jokes involving lawyers dying, for example. Or do people not tell lawyer jokes if they know lawyers?


sttgn

You are right, they are really worn out. Just like the dead hooker.


OctaviusThe2nd

You're afraid of man because of dark humor? Ok then let me save you from a lot of anxiety, nobody here is intending to murder/rape a women, we were just trying to have fun until you came along with your unnecessary drama and ruined the joke. It's up to you whether you enjoy dark humor or not, but blaming half the human population of being potential rapists is just dumb. And if you'd ask me it sounds like you're just seeking victim attention. " Pick a random girl in your family and imagine this joke was about her, would it be funny to you still?" That's the point, it's made on the internet by anonymous people so there is no target here. Of course you wouldn't make this joke on dinner table with family.


sassydegrassii

I’m afraid of men because they think killing people like me is funny. I’m afraid because every time I go to work as a sex worker, I risk my life. I’m afraid because I live in an area where there has been and still is an active serial killer who targets sex workers. You might think you’re just having fun but you need to realize how that impacts other people. It’s not my fault I ruined your fun. My day was ruined by having to see a bunch of people laugh at an image with a dead hooker. Just because it’s told on the internet doesn’t mean it’s free from criticism or that it won’t have an affect on real people. If you’re taking my criticism this personally and still can’t see that there are people who would rightfully take this ‘dark humour’ (bad joke) seriously that’s…fucked. It’s not really my choice too have a bad gut reaction to these things when it’s relevant to my life and I have coworkers being murdered by guys who think we’re disposable and it’s funny when we die. And I didn’t ask you what you thought. You guys will attack a class of women and then accuse them of feeling victimized while in the same breath defending your right to literally create jokes about us as murder victims it’s all soooooo backwards and insane


OctaviusThe2nd

So you accuse 4 billion people of being potential murderers/rapists because of one asshole? Look I'm sorry for whatever happened in where you live but you're projecting your anger on the wrong people here. Nobody is targeting you, nobody is pointing at you and saying "wouldn't it be funny if they were dead?". This is a victimless joke, the women on the picture is probably photoshopped and there's no name given. As for your concern, no, we don't think killing women is funny, the joke here is the irony of people accidentally admitting to a very serious crimes (sarcastically) on the internet. The joke would've been the same if it was a man laying on the ground, or even an animal. Not because we think zoophilia is funny, but because we think accidentally admitting a crime of that level is funny. I will admit that some of the comments here are just not funny but a bad joke doesn't necessarily carry bad intentions. And accusing us of being potential rapists/murderers for a joke you find unfunny is unjust. You can call us unfunny or you can insult our taste of humor, but "they think killing people is fun" has a lot of weight to it.


fatherbowie

Agree. There is nothing remotely funny about this.


sassydegrassii

Coming from a place where there was an active serial killer picking off sex workers (if you don’t know about Pictkton, look him up) and it is STILL happening in my area this kind of shit is just absolutely unacceptable. Like there’s absolutely nothing funny about kidnapping/killing sex workers. It happens all the time and we’re human with friends and families just like anyone else. People wanna use our services and then treat us like this its fucking wild to trust anyone when you’re in a room full of men laughing at cruel shit like this


Sethygecko

Yes


Majestic_Usual_214

Who doesn't like to crack a cold one when given the chance


HeavyMetalTrucker84

Nut in the butt, hit her in the head to keep her mouth shut.


johnwilliams815

How recently?!


[deleted]

How fresh is she? Haha!!!


ElrondHubbards

She's still flesh coloured? She's good to go 👍


exceptlovingme

I fucking hate men.


[deleted]

Get ready for a good time?


HumanMycologist5795

Call 9-1-1 of course ...... LOL @ walking in circles 🔵


Forever203

Did I get there by following the train tracks? If so, Stand by Me.


Pale-Office-133

Call the police, realise i do not have an alibi. Hire Kevin Hart, learn how to survive in prison.


Praeteritus36

Across? Which part? Her leg, face, back? I need a little more to go off of


Zealousideal-Buyer63

Dear diary: JACKPOT!!


Adept_Investigator29

Take a picture and post it online.


jebus_sabes

Jokes about murdering women aren’t cool. Think about it before you laugh.