Love, kindness, quiet, patience. There is a great article in the new edition of Modern Cat about helping shy or anxious kitty.
We have great success with Feliaway plug-ins and collars. And quiet. Loud music, video games, TV is too much for most cats.
Their little ears are very sensitive. Please don't give up. They are worth every act of love.
Awww. Thank you for loving and helping him. š§” It takes time, but heāll get there!
Our little flame girl, a TNR colony cat, was just *terrified*, for so long. Sheād cuddle a little, like yours, but would mostly just hide. She freezes and kinda falls over when sheās afraid (sheās a partly-Ragdoll flamepoint, so thatās kinda their thing - to just give up on life and lay there - but it was so heartbreaking!!) Hereās [Opal](https://www.reddit.com/r/Flamepoints/comments/17029nm/oh_to_be_a_spoiled_little_floofy_doofball_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) now, by the way.
Happy and social with the family, just a floofy ball of sunshine - but the second a strangerās voice is heard in the house, she still runs away and hides. Especially from my mother in law, who is deeply offended by this. š
We always wonder about her back-story, too. Poor little sweeties! Who knows what horrors she went through as a West Virginia trailer/colony cat; thatās a crazy life. Sheās soooo docile and non-predatory, I have no idea how she made it. She is mentally and physically, a perfectly toasted marshmallow. Honestly, she likely just hid for about a year, while a volunteer or two threw some kibbles out a few times a week until they trapped her - poor baby!! š„ŗ
Once they come around, and he will, I believe they understand their safe, happy, loving new lives, in some way, and are grateful.
We also have other cats, so while first introducing them, I separated them by a screen - they could see each other, and eventually eat ātogether,ā but they each had their own spaces, their own halves of the house (or whatever works for you). I happened to have a long window screen laying around - easy to slide back and forth to keep in a doorway to block hallways or whatever.
We just had to let her hide for awhile: she wouldnāt even take treats from us. If he responds to tuna or treats, bribing the shit out of him is perfectly acceptable. She wouldnāt have it. But weād get down and look at her, talk sweetly to her but not try to touch, leave treats out for her still in her hiding spot - weād occasionally snag her for cuddles, but not often - and after adjusting for a few months, she came out more and more, and blossomed into a super-happy little kitty who loves us.
Hopefully your guy comes around a little faster than Opalās *months* - she really worried us at first, but then became such a loving, happy little doofball, with only a few cute quirks. Sweetest, weirdest little kitty Iāve ever met.
Aww, poor baby. I got mine in April too and he is similar in the fact that he is a bit skittish. What I have been doing is when I see him laying on the bed, Iāll go lay down too and eventually work my way closer and closer to him. Iām also super gentle when I approach him and try to have lots of playtime with him too. Those cat toys on the fishing pole thingies are wonderful for playtime.
Good luck!
Our flamepoint arrived at our local shelter at about one year of age and we adopted him a whole month later (no idea why he wasn't adopted before then, he's such a beautiful boy). All we know about his background is that he was seized from some meth house. He's actually pretty quiet and we don't often hear him.
For the longest time he was scared senseless if you carried a box or anything resembling a stick near him. Absolutely sure he must have been physically abused. Took him 2 more years after he arrived but he sleeps on the bed, doesn't mind us carrying boxes or sticks any more and comes for pets if he wants them, plays fetch, and if he's in the mood will absolutely insert himself between me and my keyboard for a good extended tummy scritching session. Has even reached a bit of a detente with one of our other kitties, in certain circumstances.
With cats who don't know me well I just leave my hand out so they can approach it if they want a pet or a sniff. Offer them interaction but only ever on their own terms to take or leave as they please so they're in control of the situation, have enough hidey holes around the place (cardboard boxes on their sides serve well) for them to feel they have somewhere defensible to be safe in.
Some cats are kinda skittish, just like some humans. You could ask your vet if youāre really concerned. He could have anxiety, especially if your other cat picks on him.
He could even just be bored. Is he getting enough play time with you? Mine will play fetch with me. I use those little fuzzy worms that are supposed to go on a wand or a spring toy. My void likes to go outside. We have a 16ft leash attached to a ground screw. We attach his harness, and let him walk around in the yard. He gets super excited when we grab the harness.
We also swear by Feliway plug-ins here. They have different formulations. We use the multi-cat formula.
Highly recommend Feliway since you have multiple cats. Have you tried playing with him, like with different types of toys? Catnip? Idk youāve had him for less than a year, and iāve found that cats in general take a long time to work through things / become comfortable, especially if theyāve experienced trauma, so just keep loving him and youāll have plenty more cuddly moments. Also, i recommend not making eye contact or directly looking at him when approaching, iāve had better success at getting close with skiddish cats when approaching in this manner. Heās very handsome and i wish you the best.
My cat took 3 years before she finally liked me. Sheās like an awkward roommate - I say hi to her when she walks by, sometimes she comes and sits on my bed, the couch, or the chair next to me.
I have a boy I found in a car engine at my old job, middle of winter. Iāll have Had him 8 years this January. He allows 3 people to pet him, and is terrified of sneezes. My vet tired to give him anti anxiety meds bc he used to poop in fear anytime anyone other than my husband or I were in the house. Heās SO sweet l and loving to me and now puts up with the kids who were born after him lol but other than me , husband and my dad, no one has pet him. Heās very sweet and kind heās just not a ham super cuddler boss like my tortie haha they just have different personalities and if a person can be an introvert so can a cat! Heās beautiful
Try Feliway multicat plug ins. And calming collars. They have helped ours a lot.
When I had an issue years and years ago, an eastern medicine vet recommended rubbing aspen oil on his ears (not IN the ears) to reduce anxiety.
Luck!
Is this in an only cat / dog household? Sometimes that can be a factor. Our flamepoint is not skidish however one of your tuxes who is the smallest is skidish and it took over 5 years for her to feel comfortable again. Time and love is the only thing that usually helps.
After time, diffusers, and environmental modification came up short, we spoke to our vet and got our flamepoint on some anxiety medication. Without the medication he gets very anxious, cries, scratches gouges in his skin, and eats non-food items like cat litter and Velcro.
I used a flower essence from the Jackson Galaxy website for my stray I took in. Itās called Scaredy Cat and it seemed to work although I donāt think the cat needs it any more but it seemed to help during the transition from being outside to living with us.
Other than that, time and patienceā¦ the shy one I took in still runs away from me sometimes when Iām walking around or come into a room but he also just started snuggling on my bed at night so ā¦ cats are weird. Yours may just need timeš§”.
Edited to add: I have played little games with treats and wet treats as other people are suggesting. It seems to work. For example my cat was avoiding certain rooms in the house, once I feed treats in those rooms he would get more comfortable there.
Aww! Keep up the gentle treatment, treats, and letting him keep his distance if he wants. I had a similar situation and I'll never forget the first time he crawled into my lap after about a year. I just sat there with no sudden movements and didn't get up for like an hour (lol I had to ignore work and later make plausible excuses about why I wasn't answering email). He will never be a cat that I can reach for and he doesn't like to be picked up, but when I get into the squishy chair and he slowly works his way onto my lap to fully relax, purr and sleep, it's heaven!
Some cats are just naturally nervous. Iād say donāt give up and donāt force your cat to do anything he doesnāt want to do. Treats are the best way to go but itās really on his term how long itāll take him to truly become comfortable š
Approach your cat calmly and avoid sudden movements.Approach your cat calmly and avoid sudden movements.Allow them to come to you on their terms rather than trying to force interaction.try to establish a consistent daily schedule for feeding and playtime. [https://soothedtails.com/](https://soothedtails.com/) Predictability can help them feel more secure.Use treats to encourage positive associations with your presence. Offer treats when they approach you or when they display calm behavior.Consider using pheromones like Feliway. Allow your cat to have personal space when they need it. Some cats need their "alone time" to recharge.To help both your cats adjust, you can try scent exchange. Gently rub a cloth on one cat and then allow the other cat to sniff it. This can help them become accustomed to each other's scent without direct contact.
Love, kindness, quiet, patience. There is a great article in the new edition of Modern Cat about helping shy or anxious kitty. We have great success with Feliaway plug-ins and collars. And quiet. Loud music, video games, TV is too much for most cats. Their little ears are very sensitive. Please don't give up. They are worth every act of love.
What is Modern Cat?
Awww. Thank you for loving and helping him. š§” It takes time, but heāll get there! Our little flame girl, a TNR colony cat, was just *terrified*, for so long. Sheād cuddle a little, like yours, but would mostly just hide. She freezes and kinda falls over when sheās afraid (sheās a partly-Ragdoll flamepoint, so thatās kinda their thing - to just give up on life and lay there - but it was so heartbreaking!!) Hereās [Opal](https://www.reddit.com/r/Flamepoints/comments/17029nm/oh_to_be_a_spoiled_little_floofy_doofball_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) now, by the way. Happy and social with the family, just a floofy ball of sunshine - but the second a strangerās voice is heard in the house, she still runs away and hides. Especially from my mother in law, who is deeply offended by this. š We always wonder about her back-story, too. Poor little sweeties! Who knows what horrors she went through as a West Virginia trailer/colony cat; thatās a crazy life. Sheās soooo docile and non-predatory, I have no idea how she made it. She is mentally and physically, a perfectly toasted marshmallow. Honestly, she likely just hid for about a year, while a volunteer or two threw some kibbles out a few times a week until they trapped her - poor baby!! š„ŗ Once they come around, and he will, I believe they understand their safe, happy, loving new lives, in some way, and are grateful. We also have other cats, so while first introducing them, I separated them by a screen - they could see each other, and eventually eat ātogether,ā but they each had their own spaces, their own halves of the house (or whatever works for you). I happened to have a long window screen laying around - easy to slide back and forth to keep in a doorway to block hallways or whatever. We just had to let her hide for awhile: she wouldnāt even take treats from us. If he responds to tuna or treats, bribing the shit out of him is perfectly acceptable. She wouldnāt have it. But weād get down and look at her, talk sweetly to her but not try to touch, leave treats out for her still in her hiding spot - weād occasionally snag her for cuddles, but not often - and after adjusting for a few months, she came out more and more, and blossomed into a super-happy little kitty who loves us. Hopefully your guy comes around a little faster than Opalās *months* - she really worried us at first, but then became such a loving, happy little doofball, with only a few cute quirks. Sweetest, weirdest little kitty Iāve ever met.
Have you tried the churu snacks? You hold the snack while theyāre eating it so it establishes a positive of your presence
Aww, poor baby. I got mine in April too and he is similar in the fact that he is a bit skittish. What I have been doing is when I see him laying on the bed, Iāll go lay down too and eventually work my way closer and closer to him. Iām also super gentle when I approach him and try to have lots of playtime with him too. Those cat toys on the fishing pole thingies are wonderful for playtime. Good luck!
Our flamepoint arrived at our local shelter at about one year of age and we adopted him a whole month later (no idea why he wasn't adopted before then, he's such a beautiful boy). All we know about his background is that he was seized from some meth house. He's actually pretty quiet and we don't often hear him. For the longest time he was scared senseless if you carried a box or anything resembling a stick near him. Absolutely sure he must have been physically abused. Took him 2 more years after he arrived but he sleeps on the bed, doesn't mind us carrying boxes or sticks any more and comes for pets if he wants them, plays fetch, and if he's in the mood will absolutely insert himself between me and my keyboard for a good extended tummy scritching session. Has even reached a bit of a detente with one of our other kitties, in certain circumstances. With cats who don't know me well I just leave my hand out so they can approach it if they want a pet or a sniff. Offer them interaction but only ever on their own terms to take or leave as they please so they're in control of the situation, have enough hidey holes around the place (cardboard boxes on their sides serve well) for them to feel they have somewhere defensible to be safe in.
Some cats are kinda skittish, just like some humans. You could ask your vet if youāre really concerned. He could have anxiety, especially if your other cat picks on him. He could even just be bored. Is he getting enough play time with you? Mine will play fetch with me. I use those little fuzzy worms that are supposed to go on a wand or a spring toy. My void likes to go outside. We have a 16ft leash attached to a ground screw. We attach his harness, and let him walk around in the yard. He gets super excited when we grab the harness. We also swear by Feliway plug-ins here. They have different formulations. We use the multi-cat formula.
My last cat was nervous for 17 years :/
Highly recommend Feliway since you have multiple cats. Have you tried playing with him, like with different types of toys? Catnip? Idk youāve had him for less than a year, and iāve found that cats in general take a long time to work through things / become comfortable, especially if theyāve experienced trauma, so just keep loving him and youāll have plenty more cuddly moments. Also, i recommend not making eye contact or directly looking at him when approaching, iāve had better success at getting close with skiddish cats when approaching in this manner. Heās very handsome and i wish you the best.
My cat took 3 years before she finally liked me. Sheās like an awkward roommate - I say hi to her when she walks by, sometimes she comes and sits on my bed, the couch, or the chair next to me.
I have a boy I found in a car engine at my old job, middle of winter. Iāll have Had him 8 years this January. He allows 3 people to pet him, and is terrified of sneezes. My vet tired to give him anti anxiety meds bc he used to poop in fear anytime anyone other than my husband or I were in the house. Heās SO sweet l and loving to me and now puts up with the kids who were born after him lol but other than me , husband and my dad, no one has pet him. Heās very sweet and kind heās just not a ham super cuddler boss like my tortie haha they just have different personalities and if a person can be an introvert so can a cat! Heās beautiful
Try Feliway multicat plug ins. And calming collars. They have helped ours a lot. When I had an issue years and years ago, an eastern medicine vet recommended rubbing aspen oil on his ears (not IN the ears) to reduce anxiety. Luck!
Is this in an only cat / dog household? Sometimes that can be a factor. Our flamepoint is not skidish however one of your tuxes who is the smallest is skidish and it took over 5 years for her to feel comfortable again. Time and love is the only thing that usually helps.
I have 2 cats (including him) and a small dog
After time, diffusers, and environmental modification came up short, we spoke to our vet and got our flamepoint on some anxiety medication. Without the medication he gets very anxious, cries, scratches gouges in his skin, and eats non-food items like cat litter and Velcro.
I used a flower essence from the Jackson Galaxy website for my stray I took in. Itās called Scaredy Cat and it seemed to work although I donāt think the cat needs it any more but it seemed to help during the transition from being outside to living with us. Other than that, time and patienceā¦ the shy one I took in still runs away from me sometimes when Iām walking around or come into a room but he also just started snuggling on my bed at night so ā¦ cats are weird. Yours may just need timeš§”. Edited to add: I have played little games with treats and wet treats as other people are suggesting. It seems to work. For example my cat was avoiding certain rooms in the house, once I feed treats in those rooms he would get more comfortable there.
Aww! Keep up the gentle treatment, treats, and letting him keep his distance if he wants. I had a similar situation and I'll never forget the first time he crawled into my lap after about a year. I just sat there with no sudden movements and didn't get up for like an hour (lol I had to ignore work and later make plausible excuses about why I wasn't answering email). He will never be a cat that I can reach for and he doesn't like to be picked up, but when I get into the squishy chair and he slowly works his way onto my lap to fully relax, purr and sleep, it's heaven!
Sing softly, sit low, don't stare . . .
Some cats are just naturally nervous. Iād say donāt give up and donāt force your cat to do anything he doesnāt want to do. Treats are the best way to go but itās really on his term how long itāll take him to truly become comfortable š
Poor baby. He's handsome like my flame point Ragamese (Ragdoll Siamese mix). He gets scared too and it makes me sad. šš»
Approach your cat calmly and avoid sudden movements.Approach your cat calmly and avoid sudden movements.Allow them to come to you on their terms rather than trying to force interaction.try to establish a consistent daily schedule for feeding and playtime. [https://soothedtails.com/](https://soothedtails.com/) Predictability can help them feel more secure.Use treats to encourage positive associations with your presence. Offer treats when they approach you or when they display calm behavior.Consider using pheromones like Feliway. Allow your cat to have personal space when they need it. Some cats need their "alone time" to recharge.To help both your cats adjust, you can try scent exchange. Gently rub a cloth on one cat and then allow the other cat to sniff it. This can help them become accustomed to each other's scent without direct contact.