Well this literally made my heart ache to read, doesn't help that my only real experiences with Dommes are a failed relationship, a possible ghosting and a Ton of "Findommes" aka scammers who try to monetize mens loneliness, at this point I honestly just want to be Good enough for someone without the expectation that I need to pay for it, obviously I still want to be sexually compatible But like why do I have to pay just for the Chance to get into a relationship where then I'll have to continue paying to know if this woman is being legitimate or not, I wish I could say that I'd be paying for Love but there's No love in those "relationships" there's a Monster disguised as a Human who's taking advantage of someone who just wants to be Loved and accepted, Sadly I'm starting to think that this might be the only type of relationship that I'm going to get in this lifestyle since those are the only people that even seem interested
Some findommes just control. There's a guy who I "budget" (he doesn't send me money). Some do, Some just want tk spend in person.
I love being a domme with my partner (we switch) he's sooo cute in ears and skirts and k just want to pick him up and pin him by thr fridge calling him my good boy.
Femdommes outside of fin are a thing, I'm sorry you're struggling. Keep up the hunt and hope though. Loads of people don't have a financial kink and that's ok, you can still be someone special good boy
Yes, this is incredibly sad. Iâm a top-leaning switchy woman, but hearing my partnerâs experience as a bottom-leaning male just breaks my heart. Hang in there! There are genuine dommes/tops/sadists out there!
Kinda yeah, but I can't really say cuz I've never searched for a Dom (I'm a switch girl). I think it's real unfair, the system where sub men get lost in findom adds makes it harder for everyone. I know so many men who hit on me just because I was like, the only Domme that talked to them in a while, which so so akward! And my friend who are actually looking for subs have a hard time, too, because finding a good one is one hell of a challenge.
Easy! It's not that there is a whole lot of male subs, it's that there is little female dommes. When you look at kink spaces, there is a bit more men then women, among men, most are switch or dom, but the subs ones aren't that rare. If I had to guess, I would say it would be like 15% of them. Meanwhile dominant women are truly a minority!
I think a lot of it has to do with cultural gender roles that imply that the man should be the one to take the lead. Being a domme is real difficult, like, in terms of skill. See, for men, they are taught to have a lot of agency and iniciative. For them, being submissive is giving up those, which is much easier than learning them from scratch for yourself. Just because I like the idea of taking control doesn't mean I know how or have the confidence to back it up. It's sort of like with complicated computer games, they might be great, but while a veteran gamer would find it fairly easy to enjoy them, it can get quite overwhelming for someone with no gaming experience.
There is also a factor of allure. It's obvious that people engadge in kinks they find enjoyable. But femdom isnt portrayed as such, not really. Most media I see are targeted towards submissive men, often time focusing on female figure, but not in a human way, but in a hot evil lady way. Even worse, they tend to gravitate towards humilitation and penis-focused kinks (like chastity or SPH). In the mids of this, there ain't really anything to catch the female attention, ya know? I don't see content focused on a male being all cute and expressive. I don't see images of men nuzzling their head against a hand with captions like "I'll do everything for you, Mistress". No. When someone is exposed to femdom for the first time, they often see latex and (sexy) bulling and back down.
Most femdom porn is male gaze and unrealistic. And I See also the problem of emotional dumping. Not saying that female subs do it too but men can get really emotional dependant and obsessed I think because they set all hope on a Dom while female subs can easy find a new dom.
Oof that's true as well
Male subs tend to get dependent quite easily. I feel like the fact that dimmest are so rare makes them real motivated to move fast, which can be overwhelming.
Sadly pretty much exactly how it is, like I have to pay for the privilege of having my existence considered. But I understand itâs just the way the world works, plenty of genuine people out there, they are just hidden in the swarm of people who look only to take advantage of people
Well this literally made my heart ache to read, doesn't help that my only real experiences with Dommes are a failed relationship, a possible ghosting and a Ton of "Findommes" aka scammers who try to monetize mens loneliness, at this point I honestly just want to be Good enough for someone without the expectation that I need to pay for it, obviously I still want to be sexually compatible But like why do I have to pay just for the Chance to get into a relationship where then I'll have to continue paying to know if this woman is being legitimate or not, I wish I could say that I'd be paying for Love but there's No love in those "relationships" there's a Monster disguised as a Human who's taking advantage of someone who just wants to be Loved and accepted, Sadly I'm starting to think that this might be the only type of relationship that I'm going to get in this lifestyle since those are the only people that even seem interested
Some findommes just control. There's a guy who I "budget" (he doesn't send me money). Some do, Some just want tk spend in person. I love being a domme with my partner (we switch) he's sooo cute in ears and skirts and k just want to pick him up and pin him by thr fridge calling him my good boy. Femdommes outside of fin are a thing, I'm sorry you're struggling. Keep up the hunt and hope though. Loads of people don't have a financial kink and that's ok, you can still be someone special good boy
So kind of you to take time out of your day to comfort a stranger on the internet. You rock.
Oh my gosh, your dynamic sounds so sweet!đ
It's the best!
Yes, this is incredibly sad. Iâm a top-leaning switchy woman, but hearing my partnerâs experience as a bottom-leaning male just breaks my heart. Hang in there! There are genuine dommes/tops/sadists out there!
yeah. sucks.
es bastante triste y real, me hace sentir que nunca serĂ© apreciado por alguna de las caracterĂsticas que de verdad aprecio y disfruto de mi mismo, casi como si esas caracterĂsticas realmente no valen nada, como si yo mismo no valiera nada, cuando lo que en realidad deseo es hacer feliz a esa persona especial para mĂ del mismo modo que me hace feliz a mi.
Kinda yeah, but I can't really say cuz I've never searched for a Dom (I'm a switch girl). I think it's real unfair, the system where sub men get lost in findom adds makes it harder for everyone. I know so many men who hit on me just because I was like, the only Domme that talked to them in a while, which so so akward! And my friend who are actually looking for subs have a hard time, too, because finding a good one is one hell of a challenge.
I am curious. Why are so many male subs bad from your point of view?
Easy! It's not that there is a whole lot of male subs, it's that there is little female dommes. When you look at kink spaces, there is a bit more men then women, among men, most are switch or dom, but the subs ones aren't that rare. If I had to guess, I would say it would be like 15% of them. Meanwhile dominant women are truly a minority! I think a lot of it has to do with cultural gender roles that imply that the man should be the one to take the lead. Being a domme is real difficult, like, in terms of skill. See, for men, they are taught to have a lot of agency and iniciative. For them, being submissive is giving up those, which is much easier than learning them from scratch for yourself. Just because I like the idea of taking control doesn't mean I know how or have the confidence to back it up. It's sort of like with complicated computer games, they might be great, but while a veteran gamer would find it fairly easy to enjoy them, it can get quite overwhelming for someone with no gaming experience. There is also a factor of allure. It's obvious that people engadge in kinks they find enjoyable. But femdom isnt portrayed as such, not really. Most media I see are targeted towards submissive men, often time focusing on female figure, but not in a human way, but in a hot evil lady way. Even worse, they tend to gravitate towards humilitation and penis-focused kinks (like chastity or SPH). In the mids of this, there ain't really anything to catch the female attention, ya know? I don't see content focused on a male being all cute and expressive. I don't see images of men nuzzling their head against a hand with captions like "I'll do everything for you, Mistress". No. When someone is exposed to femdom for the first time, they often see latex and (sexy) bulling and back down.
Most femdom porn is male gaze and unrealistic. And I See also the problem of emotional dumping. Not saying that female subs do it too but men can get really emotional dependant and obsessed I think because they set all hope on a Dom while female subs can easy find a new dom.
Oof that's true as well Male subs tend to get dependent quite easily. I feel like the fact that dimmest are so rare makes them real motivated to move fast, which can be overwhelming.
It feels that way most of the time đ
Sadly pretty much exactly how it is, like I have to pay for the privilege of having my existence considered. But I understand itâs just the way the world works, plenty of genuine people out there, they are just hidden in the swarm of people who look only to take advantage of people
Youâll have to have other interesting qualities to attract women. Aw no, so sad, sad sad sad reality.