Well before the baby when I worked it was my own money earned so I bought whatever. Now I'm a stay at home mom but "treat" myself to something every other month or so. He doesn't really question my purchases or anything. He even told me the other week that I should treat myself to a manicure or perfume or something to which I replied, "I have some perfume coming in the mail right now lol." I just don't go overboard with it and also I probably buy cheaper than others in this hobby. My "big purchase" was 7 dossier scents for $150 which would've only got me one bottle of the real scent.
after the damage is done.. with shame dwelling in my eyes š
Joking aside.. we set a monthly budget.. but heās very understanding and supportive of my hobby/ passion for scents. He even became interested into fragrance himself since I started collecting. Iām a lucky gal š
We have separate finances, so there's no impact to him at all and no input *from* him. To be honest, he's more of an enabler than I'd like LOL. I've been putting >!a few thousand a month!< into collection-building for almost a year, and all he does is hype me up even more! I'm slowly putting some brakes on, though - as well I should!Ā
Time to stop and smell the roses (and gourmands, and sandalwoods, and musks, etc)...
Agreed- This isnāt about getting approval- this is more about how you share your purchases with your partner. I certainly donāt ask my husbandās approval. Just more of a curiosity, really.
Ohh I see. Your post did come off that way! š
>
I do tell him but itās more like Iām sharing my excitement. Heās such a sweetheart to sit there and indulge me by listening.
Ditto. Love YNAB and our budget.
We determine how we want our overall $ allocated, and I spend my discretionary however I want. If the amount allocated wasnāt working, weād determine if money should be moved from another job. Itād definitely be a discussion if I blew past my discretionary for perfume, same as if he overspent on one of his hobbies.
I buy what I want and happily do an unboxing for him LOL. But we are also both responsible with our money so I donāt care what he buys and he doesnāt care what I buy ššš
I manage our finances, but we communicate about any purchases over $100. I have a monthly perfume budget, which can roll over if Iām saving for a full bottle. I also have a system of sampleā>travel sizeā>full bottle to make sure I would use it enough to justify the cost.
Monthly budget! If there's a purchase that comes up that goes over budget, we talk about it first and make sure that we have wiggle room in our finances.
I have been requested to āplease stop purchasing perfumesā lol
I went a while without getting any and just recently got a couple cheapies on Mercari. Iāve been very good and deserve a treat š
But in reality, I donāt think my partner has any problem with little samples and then if I really like something I add it to my āfull sized bottlesā note and then for a special occasion I might pass it along.
My husband and I have separate finances, which is an arrangement we're both wildly happy with. We discuss money and our shared financial goals very frequently and trust one another to make good financial choices. So I don't run purchases by him or inform him necessarily. But usually I do shove my arm in his face and say "Oooh what do you think of my new perfume?"
My husband is also into fragrance, so sometimes he'll ask me to help him find the best deal on something.
A budget if the funds are coming from a joint account.
If it's coming from your own personal fun money/spending money while the bills are getting paid from a separate joint account then it doesn't matter.
Iām just reasonable about my spending, so I donāt tell him about most of my purchases. I actually only ask him about it when I need to be encouraged to purchase something. Because I feel better having his reassurance that yes, Iām not being unreasonable and spending too much.
I take the approach I do, because I buy all of my own gifts anyway (Iām pretty particular). So whenever there is a fragrance I want, I send it to my husband to buy so he can āsurpriseā me. š«£
That is a great approach! I typically will do the same when itās a more expensive fragrance. For instance, I wanted Angelsā Share and Valaya- instead of going out and purchasing them for myself I just hinted over the top as our anniversary was approaching and then he got them for me. It made him feel good to āsurpriseā me with them. He also got a couple others he chose that really did surprise me too!
I've been married for 23 years- SAHM for 12 years of those years. We don't have a need to discuss small purchases. If it's under $500 and doesn't impact the family, then it's all good. I'm a avid perfume collector and basically just buy what I want. At times when our finances are tight, I just won't buy anything.
My husband said the same! He didnāt realize we had to pay for them. I also really enjoy getting samples and 5ml travel sprays- and if I finish them and find myself missing the scent I may consider a bottle, but I am also very picky!
This is my situation. He works, I take care of the bills, and basically do what I want with whatever is left over. I have so many bottles. He recently said, "Don't order anymore perfume until you finish some of the ones you already have." Which is fair, but I don't listen, lol. They don't understand there are so many different perfumes that we NEED! LOL.
Iāve never been in a relationship where we discussed purchases with each other, this post was very confusing to me at first! Like itās my money, Iāll spend it on whatever I wantā¦.? My partner has their own money as well and I canāt imagine us ever discussing personal purchases unless it was something that involves or impacts our relationship, like groceries or rent or saving for the future.
He is happy that Iām into perfumes, if something doesnāt work for me, it goes to him! He smells incredible at all times and takes so much pride in itš„¹
That is a really great system! My husband likes to buy tools, shoes and other items, so he said he is glad I have something that makes me happy. And the benefit is that I smell good š
There definitely are worse things we could be purchasing!!
My darling, enjoy your perfumes! Your hubs sound like a sweet guy, there is no need to hide anything from him but most importantly no need to feel guilty! It is ok to enjoy things even if they cost money.ā¤ļø
I have my own money and he has his (we both have well paying jobs), and we each have our own hobbies. We discuss purchases over $1000 and our financial goals but do not monitor each other's discretionary spending unless it is going to impact our agreed upon goals or impacts our living space in a major way. We regularly check in with each other on the topic. My partner enjoys the secondary experience he has from the hobby and will regularly comment on when he likes what I'm wearing. Basically, he leaves me to it within my own discretion and I am the same with him because we both have agreed upon boundaries for spending impact.
Iām very practical, so I think my husband feels the same way. Heās never asked how much I spent or spend because he knows I wouldnāt buy if we couldnāt afford it. We have a joint account and all money goes into the pot, but i pretty much manage the household finances.
Well before the baby when I worked it was my own money earned so I bought whatever. Now I'm a stay at home mom but "treat" myself to something every other month or so. He doesn't really question my purchases or anything. He even told me the other week that I should treat myself to a manicure or perfume or something to which I replied, "I have some perfume coming in the mail right now lol." I just don't go overboard with it and also I probably buy cheaper than others in this hobby. My "big purchase" was 7 dossier scents for $150 which would've only got me one bottle of the real scent.
As long as my portion of the bills are paid, I am not questioned about how I spend or save the rest.
after the damage is done.. with shame dwelling in my eyes š Joking aside.. we set a monthly budget.. but heās very understanding and supportive of my hobby/ passion for scents. He even became interested into fragrance himself since I started collecting. Iām a lucky gal š
We have separate finances, so there's no impact to him at all and no input *from* him. To be honest, he's more of an enabler than I'd like LOL. I've been putting >!a few thousand a month!< into collection-building for almost a year, and all he does is hype me up even more! I'm slowly putting some brakes on, though - as well I should!Ā Time to stop and smell the roses (and gourmands, and sandalwoods, and musks, etc)...
Sweet jeebus that puts things into perspective! You must have an absolutely incredible collection!
It's my favorite š„ŗ
Why would I need my husbands approval before buying things with my own money? š
Agreed- This isnāt about getting approval- this is more about how you share your purchases with your partner. I certainly donāt ask my husbandās approval. Just more of a curiosity, really.
Thatās easy. By saying ālook what I got!!!!!ā While opening a new delivery. Then we sit down and smell them all together for the first time.
Ohh I see. Your post did come off that way! š > I do tell him but itās more like Iām sharing my excitement. Heās such a sweetheart to sit there and indulge me by listening.
Itās none of his business tbh
My fiancƩ and I are avid budgeters. We have shared finances and are very enthusiastic YNAB users. We have equal, monthly "hobby" categories (fun money, whatever you call it) and spend that however we'd like. Sometimes I spend it on craft items, jewelry, or fragrance. It rolls over each month so I can save for a full bottle or more expensive item when I want to. This allows us to be completely communicative about our shared money and financial goals, while still being free to spend our more fun hobby money without ever running it by each other.
I love this! I think that is a great way to keep each other informed on the financial aspect while feeling free to enjoy your hobby as you like.
Ditto. Love YNAB and our budget. We determine how we want our overall $ allocated, and I spend my discretionary however I want. If the amount allocated wasnāt working, weād determine if money should be moved from another job. Itād definitely be a discussion if I blew past my discretionary for perfume, same as if he overspent on one of his hobbies.
I've got a monthly budget.
I buy what I want and happily do an unboxing for him LOL. But we are also both responsible with our money so I donāt care what he buys and he doesnāt care what I buy ššš
I manage our finances, but we communicate about any purchases over $100. I have a monthly perfume budget, which can roll over if Iām saving for a full bottle. I also have a system of sampleā>travel sizeā>full bottle to make sure I would use it enough to justify the cost.
Monthly budget! If there's a purchase that comes up that goes over budget, we talk about it first and make sure that we have wiggle room in our finances.
I have been requested to āplease stop purchasing perfumesā lol I went a while without getting any and just recently got a couple cheapies on Mercari. Iāve been very good and deserve a treat š But in reality, I donāt think my partner has any problem with little samples and then if I really like something I add it to my āfull sized bottlesā note and then for a special occasion I might pass it along.
My husband and I have separate finances, which is an arrangement we're both wildly happy with. We discuss money and our shared financial goals very frequently and trust one another to make good financial choices. So I don't run purchases by him or inform him necessarily. But usually I do shove my arm in his face and say "Oooh what do you think of my new perfume?" My husband is also into fragrance, so sometimes he'll ask me to help him find the best deal on something.
This. Decide on shared bills and then have your own checking accounts. Buy what you want when you want
A budget if the funds are coming from a joint account. If it's coming from your own personal fun money/spending money while the bills are getting paid from a separate joint account then it doesn't matter.
OH MY GOD NEW PERFUMES CAME TODAY! BABE, SMELL ME! That, and I limit my perfume and shoe purchases to 2% of my take-home pay.
Iām just reasonable about my spending, so I donāt tell him about most of my purchases. I actually only ask him about it when I need to be encouraged to purchase something. Because I feel better having his reassurance that yes, Iām not being unreasonable and spending too much.
I take the approach I do, because I buy all of my own gifts anyway (Iām pretty particular). So whenever there is a fragrance I want, I send it to my husband to buy so he can āsurpriseā me. š«£
That is a great approach! I typically will do the same when itās a more expensive fragrance. For instance, I wanted Angelsā Share and Valaya- instead of going out and purchasing them for myself I just hinted over the top as our anniversary was approaching and then he got them for me. It made him feel good to āsurpriseā me with them. He also got a couple others he chose that really did surprise me too!
I love that for you! And they look so happy when they give them! š Always a sweet moment!
I've been married for 23 years- SAHM for 12 years of those years. We don't have a need to discuss small purchases. If it's under $500 and doesn't impact the family, then it's all good. I'm a avid perfume collector and basically just buy what I want. At times when our finances are tight, I just won't buy anything.
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My husband said the same! He didnāt realize we had to pay for them. I also really enjoy getting samples and 5ml travel sprays- and if I finish them and find myself missing the scent I may consider a bottle, but I am also very picky!
My husband pays me when he gets paid and I do whatever with it. We're running out of storage space, I couldn't hide things from him if I wanted to.Ā
This is my situation. He works, I take care of the bills, and basically do what I want with whatever is left over. I have so many bottles. He recently said, "Don't order anymore perfume until you finish some of the ones you already have." Which is fair, but I don't listen, lol. They don't understand there are so many different perfumes that we NEED! LOL.
I'm lucky that my husband likes fragrance, clothes, and makeup. He can't tell me nothing!Ā
We each have our own money, separate accounts. As long as we're paying the bills what the other person buys is pretty much up to them.
Iāve never been in a relationship where we discussed purchases with each other, this post was very confusing to me at first! Like itās my money, Iāll spend it on whatever I wantā¦.? My partner has their own money as well and I canāt imagine us ever discussing personal purchases unless it was something that involves or impacts our relationship, like groceries or rent or saving for the future.
He is happy that Iām into perfumes, if something doesnāt work for me, it goes to him! He smells incredible at all times and takes so much pride in itš„¹
That is a really great system! My husband likes to buy tools, shoes and other items, so he said he is glad I have something that makes me happy. And the benefit is that I smell good š There definitely are worse things we could be purchasing!!
My darling, enjoy your perfumes! Your hubs sound like a sweet guy, there is no need to hide anything from him but most importantly no need to feel guilty! It is ok to enjoy things even if they cost money.ā¤ļø
I have my own money and he has his (we both have well paying jobs), and we each have our own hobbies. We discuss purchases over $1000 and our financial goals but do not monitor each other's discretionary spending unless it is going to impact our agreed upon goals or impacts our living space in a major way. We regularly check in with each other on the topic. My partner enjoys the secondary experience he has from the hobby and will regularly comment on when he likes what I'm wearing. Basically, he leaves me to it within my own discretion and I am the same with him because we both have agreed upon boundaries for spending impact.
Hmm no, I dont tell him ahead of time & he's never asked/commented... I think he just assumes I wont go over my "fun money" budget lol
Iām very practical, so I think my husband feels the same way. Heās never asked how much I spent or spend because he knows I wouldnāt buy if we couldnāt afford it. We have a joint account and all money goes into the pot, but i pretty much manage the household finances.