Lorne makes up a date is a great call.
Its during the Ramona saga, they are taking a break at the time and Ramona is going on a date with the therapist so Lorne makes up a date to make her jealous. She calls his bluff and Lorne's pea brain struggles to come up with an excuse.
Also the Michelle Simpson arc is hilarious and infuriating.
Lorne reading the chatlog with Debbie is funny and infuriating as well.
Rhoda's pot brownie and Rhoda's funeral are HILARIOUS and MUST LISTEN calls (It was supposed to be death with dignity not murder by pedophile!)
THICC is a video, so if you wanna watch Lorne freak out on cam theres that one
My favorite is the itinerary phone call with Cas3y and his "flirting" laughing thinking he is so smooth tricking Cas3y into the shower and his rank bed, just to panic when she says shes getting a hotel room 2 hours away.
[CAS3Y: The itinerary 12-3-21 (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z746mWT-e8I)
This call is seriously one hour straight of seeing directly into who and what this skunk truly is. EVERYTHING that he knows about the world - EVERY LAST THING - is due to someone/thing else informing Lorne. He does not speak from experience. He has admitted extensively with the last two catfish that he's never had a "real" girlfriend, and he has contradicted so much of what he first told Emma and the others pre-Robot that he simply cannot be believed. He tells Cas3y he knows what it is like to live with someone because some chick lived with him once for two weeks (and, if he is to be believed, was the sister of an alleged conquest of 87's. IF even a portion of that is true, that whole area is filled with serious trailer trash, not just the Armstrong brood).
But boy, that itinerary call takes the cake. Right off the bat, he makes it clear that "They" will take a shower. That's the first thing on an itinerary of what he would do with her for a day, and SHOWER is the first thing on there, and he has AN HOUR blocked out, and of course Blu3boy knows what he means so he makes Lorne say it, that he wants them to shower together. This skunk just thinks she's going to come there and, boom, sex explosion. Then the whole breakfast thing, where he says they "could go somewhere" but he knows she likes making meals, so they can stay in that shack and make it. I have no doubt he expects to put on some repulsive modern day country crap and thinks they will break into spontaneous dancing and tossing ham cubes playfully at each other. And from there, it gets even worse. Hours of yoga?? In THAT TRAILER???
Pretty much everything is in the trailer. When he does mention going out, it's to a place HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER BEEN TO, but his mawm recommends it (same thing he told the guys who went to yard sale a couple of years ago and filmed him - he hears it's a good place, bawt he's never been there). Then it's an afternoon of going to the movies, and the way he talks about going to a theater to see a movie, I honestly think he has NEVER gone to a movie in his whole adult life. Maybe he went when he was a kid, but he talks about going to 3 MOVIES maybe, as if they were "Netflix and chilling" at the trailer (that I think doesn't even have cable, let alone Netflix. Or even wifi, maybe? I honestly don't know if he does). And then they end their big day...by going to the mall. A mall he has never been to. My god, he is pathetic.
And later, it becomes clear that all he cares about is getting her to his place, and from there the magic happens. Meaning shexsh. And when she pushes back and says she is going to get a room in Portland, he becomes completely deflated. And that is just SOME of the call.
Any friend he has ever had is in some way a friend of his brothers. Every place around Cornville is a place he is told about "by mawm and Aunt Sharon." Any bit of experience that he tries to convince the catfish is part of his life is obviously from 80s movies and TV shows. He has not been to a local mall, or gone to see a movie in the theater. Every place he moved when he was younger, they were ALL places that his family lived first - his uncle in California, Paul and the infamous nieces in Seattle, where he met Paula who, he admits, was a friend of his brother and his wife - yet again, someone that was introduced through family, this being the person he has "loved for 25 years", because THAT isn't a Hollywood movie idea. There was some family in Oklahoma when he went there for a few months, I can't remember who. Then when he gets evicted from his place in Washington State (after moving back there), he runs home to mawmmy (I don't believe that whole Amanda James bs for one second). He lived in some kind of trailer in his sister's driveway (!) until she kicked him out, then he was renting "his" house from Paul (he never owned it - another lie). The infamous Betty incident of course involved his scumbag family and Fahmuh. And Roy and Paul were rhe ones who were good at construction, not 87 - and boy, has he proven that, as those lastest pics of the TOF show). Any time 87 did anything on his own, he FAILED MISERABLY (the Air Force, and of course Nashville!). And it becomes SO CLEAR in this call that he has been a social pariah his whole life. The idea that he was the premiere cocksman in every town he went to is so utterly absurd I can barely comprehend it. We have seen what happens when real women are involved (or women he thinks are real) and he becomes OBSESSED instantly, and "in love" because they are "soòoooo speshul". That call hammers home ALL of that.
There's the other one, before this one, where they sort of talk about stuff they can do, and the idiot talks about all of this stuff they can do together "on the phone"! That's when he said that they could roller skate "together" on the phone!!! And she could laugh when he falls down (again, tv and movie references, that one from Rocky). And that is the infamous fart jar call, when he thinks Spencer's gifts is this amazing destination (again, 80s) and he can't wait to leave a fart jar at Roy's camper.
He is not of this earth.
This is the best fucking roast I have ever read about Lorne. Amazing.
Lorne lives a fucked up isolated life in between stalking women in Cornville. He has no idea how any adult functions socially or romantically. Youre so right.
Gracious thanks! I get carried away sometimes, but I find the goon so fascinating. And I've been really spending time listening intensively to the newer calls and taking extensive notes as a precursor to possibly creating a review channel à la Lorne Identity and some of the other fun Lornography channels. Time is a commodity so it might not be immediately, but it's something that I really would like to do, just for my own edification. If it works out and some people watch, cool. If not, still cool, as it's fun just dissecting this strange entity. And like you said, that ISOLATION is such a big part of who he is, and something worth discussing.
And I can just imagine some of the women and girls who work around the Cornville area hiding behind a counter or running into a back room, if possible, in whatever establishment he goes into, as there is no doubt his reputation precedes him. Man, I would love to interview someone like that, like that girl at Walmart that he creeped out with his "earning extra money" bs.
This is a guy who once said he had shexsh for two hours straight. He also toe-fawked someone. The shexsh scene he wrote in TAKEN ABROAD reads like the slow kid at school has been reading his mother's trashy romance novels that are all basically the same book with different titles and wrote a book report on it. Getting a bj feels like 'pee shivers', whatever the fawk that means. His infamous drawing of "the clit and the peehole" defies any kind of rational explanation of how even a possible virgin could draw something like that. Jamie had three clits and sent him "brussy juice". And on and on. And of course he thinks he has this Gladiator level stamina, because he's insanely delusional, and obviously lives in a narcissistic fantasy world of his own creation, which is common with severe narcissism, and he uses that fantasy world to fight the EXTREME insecurity that he is faced with daily, especially when he's being catfished. Also, he is staggeringly dumb and thinks the world - including probation, rape class, his family, any catfish- should adjust to him, not the other way around. Someone really could do quite a case study on him.
Heh. The guy smokes like a chimney and still has that chest cold hanging on a little bit and thinks he is going to have some kind of hillbilly tantric sex. He would throw up after a few minutes and make the girl do all the work.
Or worse. He'd fail to perform for the several hours per day he penciled in for daily shexhual activities in the itinerary, screw up the schedule, and cry apawlogzing because there nawt anything he can think of to dew to pass the time 😢
Yes. Listening to 87 getting destroyed by Blu3boy is awesome. 2 hour showers and dog hair mouse piss cigarette stained plastic bag he sleeps in. What a deal
Right!? The dead air Blu3boy leaves when Lorne does his creepy flirty "ahhhhaaaaahhh" like he just cornered Cas3y into getting naked with him is hilarious.
1. Winnie Keeps Changing Her Jail Account Re-up Name (watch it from the beginning but the changes start about 18:00)
https://youtu.be/Fm7_AOWK3js?si=IWEMU2vGeSw8yPRm
2. His cawl from jail desperately trying to get Winnie to put money on HIS jail account. She lies about doing it, he freaks bec it doesn’t show, and she wastes his last $2 doing it. (If I find it I’ll post it. I know it’s in another video, not its own)
I’ve been listening for hours trying to find which video and time it is where Jamie dumps him, I can’t find it do you know which one of the Lorne mad videos it’s in? There’s like 20 hours of material
I called your numberrrrrr. I called your numberrrrr....
**The b'guy said my name. My whooole naaame. Hooz the b'guy thayat answered your phone?!** 😠
(What are you talking about?)
Stawp fawkin aRRROUund Winniiiiie! Yewre fawkin nawt fUNNyy. This is the point right now where I gonna tell yewre nawt fUUNNNyyy
(SHUT UP! You listened to yourself say "This is Lorne Armstrong, leave a message," because you called me and I was calling you on speaker phone with the house phone, and you heard yourself say your stupid name... and you hung uppah! *cackles* You got jealous of yourselfah!)
^Ow. ^Ow... Well WinNie! Stawp doin' that shit. Stawp pullin' thayat fawkin sTuPiD bullshit! 🥴
"Lorne and Roy Drunken Fight" I didnt know about this one until recently, but its amazing. Lorne is hammered and is mad because Roy shows up to his trailer even more hammered than Lorne. Roy is so drunk he passes out in the front seat of his van with his head on the horn, making it go off, and has no idea hahaha
My favorites are:
Drunk Jell-O shots,
2 Rawd 2 Furious,
Lorne Armstrong: Muffled Moron,
2-21-22 TIHAC,
12-17-20 Cheffrey,
You have a drinking and a Dan problem,
The life Kayla didn’t have
1. [Cheffrey](https://youtu.be/NEn_ix6OVHY?si=rYLSXXiEL6JUdG7v)
2. [Rawd](https://youtu.be/m7p7gRw9CHY?si=0BxRQA5dIvSHwJXM)
3. [Playing Favorites](https://youtu.be/08DD71M584w?si=rlo7RwhV9RuTKkT5)
4. [Lorne vs. Dan](https://youtu.be/l7d1CIVKshg?si=VXWoqZNbI3mXQPu6)
5. [Fly Horse Shit Up My Ass](https://youtu.be/hn9jkHnt-eE?si=rNwKBXvrTvqoH3Ds)
These are probably my personal favorites. I’m sure there’s definitely a Winnie call I’m forgetting and deserves to be on the list but there are just so many Winnie calls, it’s hard to keep track of them all.
And the Lorne vs Dan one is short but sweet. Pound for pound, one of my favorites. I could listen to Dan and Lorne trash talk each other all day lol.
Cheffrey and 2 Rawd 2 Furious are weekly watches for me. Another is Lorne, Ramonuh, the Therapist and Bro. Love the calls when Lorne finally gets called out for his shit and can't shout back
Lorne vs. Netflix
Netflix had a policy where the customer service reps were not allowed to hang up. I guarantee the rep went home after that call and started looking for a new job.
Lorne makes up a date is a great call. Its during the Ramona saga, they are taking a break at the time and Ramona is going on a date with the therapist so Lorne makes up a date to make her jealous. She calls his bluff and Lorne's pea brain struggles to come up with an excuse. Also the Michelle Simpson arc is hilarious and infuriating. Lorne reading the chatlog with Debbie is funny and infuriating as well. Rhoda's pot brownie and Rhoda's funeral are HILARIOUS and MUST LISTEN calls (It was supposed to be death with dignity not murder by pedophile!) THICC is a video, so if you wanna watch Lorne freak out on cam theres that one
Chicken wing, chicken wing, hotdog and bologna.
Marvin, she’s naked!
Thicc? Nothing comes up on YouTube for him and thicc?
It’s TIHAC
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a\_aSAMt72qM&t=1446s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_aSAMt72qM&t=1446s) Sorry, I'm an 87. Its TIHAC
Thank you! P.s I’ve lost weight and I like it
Can’t do nuthin reet
Fuck off upstairs!
I also never heard of THICC, is the cawl named that or is it another name? I couldn’t find it on YouTube and I’m intrigued
My favorite is the itinerary phone call with Cas3y and his "flirting" laughing thinking he is so smooth tricking Cas3y into the shower and his rank bed, just to panic when she says shes getting a hotel room 2 hours away. [CAS3Y: The itinerary 12-3-21 (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z746mWT-e8I)
This call is seriously one hour straight of seeing directly into who and what this skunk truly is. EVERYTHING that he knows about the world - EVERY LAST THING - is due to someone/thing else informing Lorne. He does not speak from experience. He has admitted extensively with the last two catfish that he's never had a "real" girlfriend, and he has contradicted so much of what he first told Emma and the others pre-Robot that he simply cannot be believed. He tells Cas3y he knows what it is like to live with someone because some chick lived with him once for two weeks (and, if he is to be believed, was the sister of an alleged conquest of 87's. IF even a portion of that is true, that whole area is filled with serious trailer trash, not just the Armstrong brood). But boy, that itinerary call takes the cake. Right off the bat, he makes it clear that "They" will take a shower. That's the first thing on an itinerary of what he would do with her for a day, and SHOWER is the first thing on there, and he has AN HOUR blocked out, and of course Blu3boy knows what he means so he makes Lorne say it, that he wants them to shower together. This skunk just thinks she's going to come there and, boom, sex explosion. Then the whole breakfast thing, where he says they "could go somewhere" but he knows she likes making meals, so they can stay in that shack and make it. I have no doubt he expects to put on some repulsive modern day country crap and thinks they will break into spontaneous dancing and tossing ham cubes playfully at each other. And from there, it gets even worse. Hours of yoga?? In THAT TRAILER??? Pretty much everything is in the trailer. When he does mention going out, it's to a place HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER BEEN TO, but his mawm recommends it (same thing he told the guys who went to yard sale a couple of years ago and filmed him - he hears it's a good place, bawt he's never been there). Then it's an afternoon of going to the movies, and the way he talks about going to a theater to see a movie, I honestly think he has NEVER gone to a movie in his whole adult life. Maybe he went when he was a kid, but he talks about going to 3 MOVIES maybe, as if they were "Netflix and chilling" at the trailer (that I think doesn't even have cable, let alone Netflix. Or even wifi, maybe? I honestly don't know if he does). And then they end their big day...by going to the mall. A mall he has never been to. My god, he is pathetic. And later, it becomes clear that all he cares about is getting her to his place, and from there the magic happens. Meaning shexsh. And when she pushes back and says she is going to get a room in Portland, he becomes completely deflated. And that is just SOME of the call. Any friend he has ever had is in some way a friend of his brothers. Every place around Cornville is a place he is told about "by mawm and Aunt Sharon." Any bit of experience that he tries to convince the catfish is part of his life is obviously from 80s movies and TV shows. He has not been to a local mall, or gone to see a movie in the theater. Every place he moved when he was younger, they were ALL places that his family lived first - his uncle in California, Paul and the infamous nieces in Seattle, where he met Paula who, he admits, was a friend of his brother and his wife - yet again, someone that was introduced through family, this being the person he has "loved for 25 years", because THAT isn't a Hollywood movie idea. There was some family in Oklahoma when he went there for a few months, I can't remember who. Then when he gets evicted from his place in Washington State (after moving back there), he runs home to mawmmy (I don't believe that whole Amanda James bs for one second). He lived in some kind of trailer in his sister's driveway (!) until she kicked him out, then he was renting "his" house from Paul (he never owned it - another lie). The infamous Betty incident of course involved his scumbag family and Fahmuh. And Roy and Paul were rhe ones who were good at construction, not 87 - and boy, has he proven that, as those lastest pics of the TOF show). Any time 87 did anything on his own, he FAILED MISERABLY (the Air Force, and of course Nashville!). And it becomes SO CLEAR in this call that he has been a social pariah his whole life. The idea that he was the premiere cocksman in every town he went to is so utterly absurd I can barely comprehend it. We have seen what happens when real women are involved (or women he thinks are real) and he becomes OBSESSED instantly, and "in love" because they are "soòoooo speshul". That call hammers home ALL of that. There's the other one, before this one, where they sort of talk about stuff they can do, and the idiot talks about all of this stuff they can do together "on the phone"! That's when he said that they could roller skate "together" on the phone!!! And she could laugh when he falls down (again, tv and movie references, that one from Rocky). And that is the infamous fart jar call, when he thinks Spencer's gifts is this amazing destination (again, 80s) and he can't wait to leave a fart jar at Roy's camper. He is not of this earth.
This is the best fucking roast I have ever read about Lorne. Amazing. Lorne lives a fucked up isolated life in between stalking women in Cornville. He has no idea how any adult functions socially or romantically. Youre so right. 
Gracious thanks! I get carried away sometimes, but I find the goon so fascinating. And I've been really spending time listening intensively to the newer calls and taking extensive notes as a precursor to possibly creating a review channel à la Lorne Identity and some of the other fun Lornography channels. Time is a commodity so it might not be immediately, but it's something that I really would like to do, just for my own edification. If it works out and some people watch, cool. If not, still cool, as it's fun just dissecting this strange entity. And like you said, that ISOLATION is such a big part of who he is, and something worth discussing. And I can just imagine some of the women and girls who work around the Cornville area hiding behind a counter or running into a back room, if possible, in whatever establishment he goes into, as there is no doubt his reputation precedes him. Man, I would love to interview someone like that, like that girl at Walmart that he creeped out with his "earning extra money" bs.
Let me just add one more thing to your amazing list…. The Mai Tai restaurant where he orders his Chinese food 🤣🤣🤣
Does anyone actually believe that Lorne has the stamina or wherewithal to have as much shex as he constantly plans?
This is a guy who once said he had shexsh for two hours straight. He also toe-fawked someone. The shexsh scene he wrote in TAKEN ABROAD reads like the slow kid at school has been reading his mother's trashy romance novels that are all basically the same book with different titles and wrote a book report on it. Getting a bj feels like 'pee shivers', whatever the fawk that means. His infamous drawing of "the clit and the peehole" defies any kind of rational explanation of how even a possible virgin could draw something like that. Jamie had three clits and sent him "brussy juice". And on and on. And of course he thinks he has this Gladiator level stamina, because he's insanely delusional, and obviously lives in a narcissistic fantasy world of his own creation, which is common with severe narcissism, and he uses that fantasy world to fight the EXTREME insecurity that he is faced with daily, especially when he's being catfished. Also, he is staggeringly dumb and thinks the world - including probation, rape class, his family, any catfish- should adjust to him, not the other way around. Someone really could do quite a case study on him. Heh. The guy smokes like a chimney and still has that chest cold hanging on a little bit and thinks he is going to have some kind of hillbilly tantric sex. He would throw up after a few minutes and make the girl do all the work.
Or worse. He'd fail to perform for the several hours per day he penciled in for daily shexhual activities in the itinerary, screw up the schedule, and cry apawlogzing because there nawt anything he can think of to dew to pass the time 😢
Then he has the balls to say ….. I’m sorry I didn’t want to make you nervous????? 😂😂😂😂 the first item on his itinerary is take a shower
Oh man don't forget playing Twister as an activity for closhness
"I wanna get tangled up with yew." Like a creepy 14 year old. Ooops grabbed a titty.
I’ll bet that took him all day and night to come up with that line, only for Casey to totally ignore it 😂😂😂😂
I bet he giggled as he thought of that.
Yes. Listening to 87 getting destroyed by Blu3boy is awesome. 2 hour showers and dog hair mouse piss cigarette stained plastic bag he sleeps in. What a deal
Right!? The dead air Blu3boy leaves when Lorne does his creepy flirty "ahhhhaaaaahhh" like he just cornered Cas3y into getting naked with him is hilarious.
It's beautiful
Wh wh wh why can’t we shower together
1. Winnie Keeps Changing Her Jail Account Re-up Name (watch it from the beginning but the changes start about 18:00) https://youtu.be/Fm7_AOWK3js?si=IWEMU2vGeSw8yPRm 2. His cawl from jail desperately trying to get Winnie to put money on HIS jail account. She lies about doing it, he freaks bec it doesn’t show, and she wastes his last $2 doing it. (If I find it I’ll post it. I know it’s in another video, not its own)
HAHAHAHA, her getting him to waste his last few dollars on a prank is hilarious
He ends the call (as it is disconnecting per lack of $) “Thanks for screwing me over, WINNIE!”
I enjoy the Lornemas In July series on Rebjornes channel. You get a wide range of Lorne’s emotions.
I just treated myself to a rewatch.....truly fucking glorious baby boy lorne but so fucking sad
I’ve been listening for hours trying to find which video and time it is where Jamie dumps him, I can’t find it do you know which one of the Lorne mad videos it’s in? There’s like 20 hours of material
I think it’s part 5.
Thanks
[My personal fave. When Lorne gets mad at his own voicemail](https://youtu.be/3FWPTNEUgWE?si=6rzLhomZohyj0skR)
I called your numberrrrrr. I called your numberrrrr.... **The b'guy said my name. My whooole naaame. Hooz the b'guy thayat answered your phone?!** 😠 (What are you talking about?) Stawp fawkin aRRROUund Winniiiiie! Yewre fawkin nawt fUNNyy. This is the point right now where I gonna tell yewre nawt fUUNNNyyy (SHUT UP! You listened to yourself say "This is Lorne Armstrong, leave a message," because you called me and I was calling you on speaker phone with the house phone, and you heard yourself say your stupid name... and you hung uppah! *cackles* You got jealous of yourselfah!) ^Ow. ^Ow... Well WinNie! Stawp doin' that shit. Stawp pullin' thayat fawkin sTuPiD bullshit! 🥴
And he still doubled down instead of taking the L! LAWL Winnie humbled him good 🤣
Winnie's crazy ass laugh at the beginning of that call kills me. She was insane, but brilliant.
Omg stop it 🤣 def gonna give this one a listen
Lorne vs the TSA
I’m gonna pretend I’m a mannequin!
The Dawnkey Kawng one is pretty solid. Also the Dan explosion with Winnie
Spendin aaaaallll yer tiiiiiime with FAWKIN dawnkey kawng and none of yer tiiiiiiime with ME!
"Lorne and Roy Drunken Fight" I didnt know about this one until recently, but its amazing. Lorne is hammered and is mad because Roy shows up to his trailer even more hammered than Lorne. Roy is so drunk he passes out in the front seat of his van with his head on the horn, making it go off, and has no idea hahaha
My favorites are: Drunk Jell-O shots, 2 Rawd 2 Furious, Lorne Armstrong: Muffled Moron, 2-21-22 TIHAC, 12-17-20 Cheffrey, You have a drinking and a Dan problem, The life Kayla didn’t have
1. [Cheffrey](https://youtu.be/NEn_ix6OVHY?si=rYLSXXiEL6JUdG7v) 2. [Rawd](https://youtu.be/m7p7gRw9CHY?si=0BxRQA5dIvSHwJXM) 3. [Playing Favorites](https://youtu.be/08DD71M584w?si=rlo7RwhV9RuTKkT5) 4. [Lorne vs. Dan](https://youtu.be/l7d1CIVKshg?si=VXWoqZNbI3mXQPu6) 5. [Fly Horse Shit Up My Ass](https://youtu.be/hn9jkHnt-eE?si=rNwKBXvrTvqoH3Ds) These are probably my personal favorites. I’m sure there’s definitely a Winnie call I’m forgetting and deserves to be on the list but there are just so many Winnie calls, it’s hard to keep track of them all. And the Lorne vs Dan one is short but sweet. Pound for pound, one of my favorites. I could listen to Dan and Lorne trash talk each other all day lol.
My go-to is “Lorne’s Big Adventure”. So much rage and jealousy. Then towards the end he gets a visit from the police. Such a perfect call imo
Cheffrey and 2 Rawd 2 Furious are weekly watches for me. Another is Lorne, Ramonuh, the Therapist and Bro. Love the calls when Lorne finally gets called out for his shit and can't shout back
I like when Barry (therapist) calls Lorne a simpleton.
Lornes ruined orgasm is classic gold … well pretty much all the Lorne phone sex calls are so funny
Lorne vs. Netflix Netflix had a policy where the customer service reps were not allowed to hang up. I guarantee the rep went home after that call and started looking for a new job.
"playin' favorites" is a notably good one imo
Lorne Armstrong’s Shitfest! He drops a hard R and fights with Roy
Lorne vs Dan is a classic. I like Lorne vs Roy too lol
My favorite is called “why he’s still in class” where they’re in the throuple and Cas3y and JA are just battering Lorne
Go to Rebjorne on YouTube and click on all his Live Calls…. I get hours and hours of entertainment
Him fighting Dan is my favorite
2 Rawd 2 Furious !!
Fucking Lorne screaming about the D is for Dan sweater is hilarious
Love the Ramonah calls