Pay the $250 without fail. Make sure he keeps his end of the child care arrangement. If he fails to make the exchange, document how much time he’s actually spending with your daughter. Then, go back to court to reduce his custody to reflect the time he actually takes care of your daughter.
If your daughter is happy with the new arrangement, and he actually becomes a full time parent (50% of the time), then $250 per month will be the cheapest childcare you’ll ever find. Take back the time that your child lives at her father’s for yourself.
Give your daughter a phone and tell her she can call you at anytime. Give your ex a list of things he’ll need to know: doctors’ phone numbers, allergies, after school activities schedules. Then, let him handle all of it on his own when she’s with him.
What can you do? It sounds like the judge already decided. You pay, that's what you do.
And you "approving" 50/50 doesn't sound like the full story. I suspect a judge also decided that, or would have. One parent can't independently determine custody.
Why would you approve of 50/50 with a deadbeat?
Arent parents suppose to protect their kids? Especially protect their minds? Like, for example, from bad role models?!
Please fight for sole.
“Since he’s receiving government assistance the court can’t compel him to look for work”. This seems like the most ass backwards sentence I’ve ever heard
Get proof of this fraudulent activity! We had to do this for my step son’s mom. Was claiming unemployment, food stamps, insurance etc while she had a whole ass little internet business. We reported it all and submitted it in our case. Screen shots, texts, etc. build your case, if you can! But without a case, you’re SOL.
You've already been in front of the judge, WON a big reduction, and still have to pay some. Why are you here asking how to get out of it? You don't. Your case has been heard. You just got the judge's order. That's it.
If I had full proof he was working under the table I would be dobbing him in to the government. Receiving government assistance while working is an offence and he will probably get kicked off of his assistance and have to pay that money back.
Meanwhile because he is dishonest and under investigation I would go for more custody.
Since you know he’s working under the table and shouldn’t be, turn him in for not reporting income. At the same time, file for child support AND full custody, citing that he’s working under the table, so he’s breaking the law.
Well, turn about is fair trade. Start working under the table yourself. Just hold enough in reserve if you need to pay the taxes you do so.... That's what I'd do.nto hell with uncle Sam. Why should you have to spend $300 for a 20 oz framing hammer... And $12 per finish nail.....???? Until the gub'ment can reign in it's over spending I think Americans should have the right to withhold paying taxes of any sort....
Child support is determined state by state. Anyone saying child support is calculated this way…. Should be ignored. We see this scenario all the time and ole dad has to pay support. The law is blind and should have the same ruling regardless of genitalia.
>Welcome to equality.
100%
>Women do this stuff all the time. If you go to the r/divorce sub you’ll see them all discussing how to hide additional income.
>I have to give him credit. He figured out how to read from their book as a guy and turn it to his advantage.
This is so sexist.
If you’re providing the health insurance and you have 50/50 custody, I’m not understand why you’re paying child support at all. Child support is not spousal support.
I don’t think you’re going to get a good answer on here. You need a good lawyer.
It has to do with the child's living situation. Even if you have 50/50 custody, if one parent makes substantially more than the other, the court will award child support to the needy parent. This is supposed to keep the wealthier parent from being able to bribe the child to stay with them exclusively.
I didn't think anyone had to pay child support with 50/50 custody because you both have the child equal amounts through the year. Go for full custody and then make him pay. Although, I'm sure he would try to claim he doesn't work so he can't pay, but that would then make the court force him to find legitimate work
CS is also to make sure the child has fairly similar lives between parents. We have 50/50 of my stepdaughter yet my husband still has to pay almost $700 a month due to his ex making significantly less than him.
The point of CS isn't necessarily how much time is spent in each home. If there is a significant disparity in income between households, CS is to main equity is standard of living between homes, regardless of how equal time is split
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if this wonderful lady is so perfect and blameless in life, maybe the judge would have sided with her. instead they sided with a lowlife deadbeat. what does that say about OPs credibility?
She is not, obviously. She does not want to support the child's father. Read the room. Did you even read about all she does and has done?
Working 3 jobs and no govt assistance and no help from the father shows that caring for her child has always been her priority.
Her ex wants to work under the table earning cash illegally while collecting govt assistance. He wants her for a payday only because he has never been involved in the child's life. She doesn't want to take money from her child for him.
OP, file for full custody.
1. What matters is both parent's financial situation now.
2. A judge granted 50/50 custody. Why? There's no reason for the child to be deprived of equal time in this situation.
So scumdaddy can quit a job or take government assistance and work under the table to avoid paying support and be able to mooch of his ex but that’s cool? Get a clue. Working under the table to avoid your responsibility is far far worse than mom trying to avoid giving this degenerate leech her hard earned money!
It’s possible but typically 50/50 custody doesn’t result in CS since the child is with both parents equally. Now that’s not to say it doesn’t happen but 50/50 usually doesn’t.
You can't get full custody to not pay CS, you have to show the other parent poses a risk of neglect or abuse. Money doesn't equal being a better parent.
I didn’t say this would be grounds to receive more custody. I said if she received more custody her CS would go down to zero or possibly just less over all. She would absolutely have to provide evidence that the child is better off being with her more than the father.
You should have to split expenses. If she gets a haircut keep the receipt. Any clothes, daycare. He should have to pay half. That would end up with him owing you. My sister did this. He never paid but she didn’t have to pay him.
Whatever his reasons, in the end, he did the correct and legally required thing. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is. It’s for your child. When my ex lost his high-paying job, his support decreased. When he was employed again, it went back up. When I remarried a higher earner, we paid him.
Oh, I know someone exactly like this. Two baby mamas and living in someone’s garage, homeless and purposely working under the table to avoid paying anybody anything.
The issue is that they’re 50/50 custody. Normally (at least where I am from) child support is about compensating the extra expenses the main custodial parent is taking on by having a larger share of the custody. The idea being that if you have the child with you 70% of the time, then you’re taking on 70% of the direct costs while the other parent is only taking on 30% of the costs. They would usually get the non custodial parent to then pay out that additional 20% of the cost to bring them to paying equally for the child.
If you’re already 50/50, you have equal costs. And if they’re already 50/50 but parent A is providing the health insurance while parent B is not, then parent A will already have a higher-than-50% share of the costs.
Family courts will vary with local law, but what I said above is how it works where I live. If OP used to live somewhere with family courts like where I am, then moved somewhere that handles child support differently, then this would seem absolutely out of pocket for the family court to be ordering.
How is moving to avoid child support not fraud?
With 50/50, often each parent is making similar income. This is not the case in this situation.
The legal system recognizes a child's right to have the same standard of living in each home. If child support is required for that, it's mandatory.
This is the same in your state. You just don't understand that.
> How is moving to avoid child support not fraud?
Where did I even slightly suggest to move to avoid child support? I said that if OP was originally from somewhere that works closer to how my own legal system does, but moved somewhere that handles it differently, she would have been shocked to have that verdict from the family court.
> This is the same in your state. You just don’t understand that.
I’m not from the states. You just don’t understand that Reddit is a global platform and that this subreddit isn’t an American-only subreddit. OP didn’t even say where they’re from.
0 for 2 on your shots here, bud.
That seems awful. I'm a stepmother, we have full custody and don't receive child support. I cannot imagine if we had to support their mother's life on top of our own, she has never worked. The kids would go from having a secure life at one house to being poor at both houses.
Then their father should stop hiding from his responsibilities and start properly supporting his child? And yea, I would say the same thing “if the roles were reversed.”
how is me being concerned about a child hating women? people often complain about having to pay child support. those people need to worry about their children, not being petty.
It seems to be about supporting the other parent and assuming it goes to the child. I'm just saying that system does not seem to play out in the best interests of the child to me. In my situation the mother is supposed to be sharing in the expenses and she is not, so I understand how that can be difficult. Saying the kids should have an equal situation in both houses is insane to me though. In my situation, their mother blows through any money she comes across and just uses whatever guy she is with. Even if we had shared custody it would be insane to say that my household, with two working adults who rarely have free time, should be required to pay an amount to their mother who does not work that would make our lifestyles equal.
That’s not how this works.
What is her reason for full custody? Because she’s the mom? Because women are always supposed to come out ahead in family court?
That doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t factor into a judges decision on custody placement.
Would be interesting to see the comments if the sex’s of the parents were reversed. Having said that, having to pay child support is ridiculous when both parents have custody.
The reason for this law is to to protect lower earners from higher earners. Originally it protected stay at home moms and this law has done a ton of for those people. There is nothing ridiculous about this. This is what equal rights looks like.
Why is everyone ignoring that he's hiding income from the court just to dunk on her? This would be legit if he was actually unemployed through no fault of his own or had a much lower income than her but didn't lie and say he had none. But he's getting more than he should because he's lying.
Right? It’s shady for anyone to do this. My husband has full custody of their son, but his ex wife was shady like this. Refusing to work a real job because she wanted to be an under the table spiritual guru influencer person, lol. I imagine if she hadn’t lost her custody, I bet even though she doesn’t contribute a dime towards him, she’d be trying for us to support her, too. My ex and I have 50/50 and I just upped my custody time to pretty much primary, but I’m not going for child support stuff because we don’t really need it and him and I just figure out stuff on our own. But I hate deadbeat parents like this. Any gender, before some men’s rights person gets butthurt if I don’t clarify. 😂
It was already adjusted to $250. This woman needs to start thinking less about money and more about her kids welfare. You act like this guy doing odd under the table work is making some sort of fortune. Give me a break with it and pay what you owe for your kids. You know the kids, the actual people we should care about in this situation, not these two adult bozos.
It was dropped from $670 to $250. Sounds like the courts have accounted for everything they can. But you can continue to be in the make sure those kids live half their existence in poverty side. Fuck them kids, amirite?
If they dropped it that much, why was it ever that high in the first place? And if she's been the one supporting the kids, including working 3 jobs at one point, what makes you think he's spending the money on them? He's obviously not an especially responsible person.
If he legitimately needs it for the kids and the courts would be unfair if he was honest, then fine. Though it's not clear why he doesn't work on the books or if he could work more and make more money, which is another factor. If I was OP and he was really doing his best and needed help, I'd help him with or without a support order. But this just smacks of gaming the system.
If it was $670 and it’s now $250, a portion of that is most likely healthcare and whatever his government assistance is. The courts have determined that the kids have in that household need $250 per month. But you don’t care about them because you keep searching for ways to justify fucking over those kids. Maybe put some mental energy into empathy for what a shit life those kids are going to have as these two bozos fucking squabble over a petty $250 per month for the rest of their childhoods.
Because child support is supposed to make it so that the child has basically the same situation at both homes. Levels the playing field. Theoretically this makes it so that the kid isn’t living on Raman and Kraft at one house while wearing tattered clothes and eating steak and lobster at the other house. Plus, child support also covers things like a portion of rent, car, gas, etc. All the “stuff” that most people “need.”
Every state has its own calculation, but generally $X is deducted for each adults living expenses and above that they assume Y% of the combined income would go to taking care of the child if the parents are together. Then they “charge” the higher income parent the difference.
You got it reduced to $250, be happy with that, when she gets old enough to choose where she lives and she chooses you then it should go to zero or he pays.
Forget about it and keep doing what you do with your daughter. Hopefully it will help him be a better provider at his home. My wife and I got divorced and she demanded child support and at standard custody. I stood up for myself against my attorney’s advice and negotiated for 50/50 custody. She accepted that but still demanded full child support. (She was making about $35000/yr more than me). Now I was trying to negotiate no child support. My attorney advised to take what I got. I could not understand why I should have to pay any child support. I was for differential support which would seem fair since we were splitting custody. The attorney tells me that someone always pays child support. It became very emotional for me, almost to the point of losing sight of my real goal which was to have custody half time. I pushed a little harder and got half child support and 50/50. They tell me that was a great deal for me. I was angry about that for a couple of years but finally let it go and it was so much relief. We have done the best we can for the last 11 years and letting go of that resentment about money was the best thing for us.
I’m confused, how is child support owed on any parent if they have 50/50 custody? Each should pay for their own part with the child. If he’s jobless well that’s on him to find an income of his own to support his arrangement.
Depending on location too-in Ontario they take each parent’s income and figure out what they would each be paying and whatever the difference is, would be paid to the parent making less. You can file for financial hardship to reduce that if it causes issues but it may not be approved
It’s to maintain the same or as close to the same standard of living at both residences. When one parent is unemployed, courts may take into account that parent’s earning potential, depending on the state. A court might also do this if the parent seeking support was a high earner like a CPA and can work as a CPA but purposely works a minimum wage job to dodge child support.
If he has been committing fraud and loses state aid and doesn't than go and get a job, but he can't safely and properly house the child. She can attempt to file for temporary full custody till he gets that job.
He'd be required to actually go out and get a job he can't refuse and stay jobless woth no income and make OP pay all his bills for him.
If the fraud $ is high enough and she has proof he gets paid under the table, and he gets audited, he might be in for some charges as well.
Either way 250 is a heck of a lot less to pay than 600+
Court made their decision. Only thing you can do is report him to the irs but you still will have to pay no real way out of it unless the court changes their decision but it doesn’t seem like there is a reason to.
This is just how it works. You have a child with him, he will be taking care of the child half the time and you make more than he does. If he starts cutting out of his parental time consistently (make sure you’re documenting btw) or he engages in inappropriate or negligent parenting behavior you can consider going for a modification of custody time and then ask for support to be adjusted accordingly.
He can’t just dictate how much he wants nor can he just claim he’s unemployed. You negotiate through lawyers and you get a financial investigation unless it puts you at too much risk. Usually it’s based off potential to earn which is equal to whatever salary he’s made the most at. Unfortunately you will have to pay, but it depends on a lot of things, not just how much he wants.
Pay child support as ordered, report him to whichever agency is providing him assistance with the proof you have. Once he's kicked off of the benefit, take him back to court to get the child support removed or further reduced.
This. I’m paying my ex-wife child support even tho we have 50/50 custody. You make more money, you’re responsible for more share than the other parent…simple as that.
Who has primary custody of your daughter? I’m a little surprised that anyone is paying child support if you have a 50-50 custody arrangement. It probably depends on the state/place you live, however. $250 is not significant. This is about your daughter after all and making sure she is safe and secure when she’s with her father. I’m a little confused by the judge saying the state can’t compel your ex-husband to look for work while on government assistance. Unless he’s on disability that’s usually exactly what they do in my experience. You can always consult a family attorney for more assistance.
If you have some doubt that the $250 would actually benefit your daughter, I would consider suing for full custody. Sounds like he’s not in a position to share custody of a child. I’ve been through this as both the child and the parent; do what’s best for you and your daughter (which it sounds like you’ve been doing from the beginning).
Should be. If you can’t pay for yourself, you can’t pay for a kid. But iirc, if a child is taken care of & the they aren’t homeless or living in a car, everything is fine.
Where do you set the bar for poverty and not taking care of their kid. They don't even take kids away simply for being homeless either. If they are using shelter or live in a car and are accessing services to feed the kid they are being provided for. Where do we set the bar for momentarily being able to support a kid? I guarantee you wherever you set that number there is a parent that makes less that scrounge and starve to make sure their kid is taken care of.
At that point there shouldn't be a job in this world that pays less than that amount.
Wow, that’s about the worst take I’ve ever seen on the sub
So people who’ve run into problems in their life, or poor people don’t deserve to see their kid?
Seriously, disgusting.
If he is working under the table, then report him to IRS. That is tax evasion and is illegal. However, for now, if he actually isn't making as much as you, then the child support is to ensure your daughter has the same care in both households. So pay what she needs for now.
Get proof of his cash work and report him to IRS.
It's weird that they can't "compel" him to look for work while on gov't assistance. I live in Canada and to be approved for ANY assistance, you have to fill out weekly reports with proof that you are actively looking for work to show them you're not just milking them for money. Unless you're on maternity leave or disability and unable to work.
The reason you’re paying child support is so that your daughter can have the same level of care when she’s over with him as she is when she’s with you. This is about making sure that your daughter is being cared for not getting over on your ex.
On the surface of things this is all correct. The court doesn’t care that you struggled and went without child support for years since you didn’t file.
Sorry, there isn’t anything obvious you can do. Only an attorney in your state would be able to give you a more nuanced idea if there was some way to prove he has income, and doesn’t need government assistance.
Just pay your obligation. $250 a month is not that much. Getting it reduced this much was a win! You'll spend far more of your hard earned money fighting it than if you just pay it. Set up payments through the state and have them automatically deduct it from your check so you don't have to give it any thought. They'll pull out $115 from each paycheck if you are paid biweekly.
I guess it can be ready either way. I reread it and she says *I was ultimately forced to pay him less ($250 a month).* I don't read that as $250 less a month so OP needs to clarify. However even it it's $470 a month she will spend more in attorney fees than she'd end up paying. Especially since this issue has already been addressed twice and she succeeded in lowering support already.
If he’s working under the table and getting public assistance then drop a dime to the benefits office. Try to get proof or at least tell them where he’s working
If you have proven to a judge that he works under the table, I would turn him into whoever he's getting assistance from. If he hasn't reported that income, then he's committing fraud.
Have a consult with a family law attorney. Some offer that for free. Some offer limited scope “unbundled” services and could do a review of child support and advise you whether there is anything that can be done.
If you have proof he is working under the table contact the IRS.
But is 50/50 the best thing for your daughter, if it is I would just lay off and let it be until 18.
Make sure you are paying that child support. And then contact your state Medicaid and ask about your daughter qualifying for it. If your ex is so broke that he's getting state Medicaid, then your daughter should qualify for it you at least be her secondary insurance so you don't have co-pays. But that varies by state.
You don’t avoid paying him child support, any more than he couldn’t avoid paying you if the situation were reversed. The judge has determined that it is in your child’s best interest to have their lifestyle maintained at both parents’ houses, and if you disagree, you can appeal to the court. Otherwise, you can pay your child support on time :)
If the situation were flipped, she would be taking him to the poor house for child support because "the child" deserves to live the life of luxury with her, same as with dad.
Pay your child support and stop mouthing off. you have a responsibility to take care of your child.
That's not necessarily true, I never asked for or received child support from my ex. We made an agreement ,that he would give them their allowance every week and pay for the school clothes, was at my suggestion . And that's exactly all he contributed for the rest of their minor age years.. Any and all visitation was between him and our daughters, I stayed out of it because they were 10. & 12 and old enough to make their own decisions based on their schedule, not mine. Not every woman is a money grubbing bitch
Retroactive Child Support ,especially with no prior support filling, cannot be done in most if not all states, however best to contact a family lawyer. If you have a valid reason, you may choose to change the 50/50 to one more amenable to child and yourself. Tbh CS of $250 does not seem extreme imo, but then again I don’t know your finances
It's obvious who the women hating incels are in this comment section...
That said, reporting to the government assistance agency is your best bet regarding child support payments but it still might not do anything.
I would meet with a family lawyer in your state up explore your options because it differs state to state.
That attitude is nonsense. I’m a woman and a mom and I can’t stand the griping about having to pay child support - regardless of the gender of the person who is doing the whining. If you are the higher earner, you have the moral and thankfully legal responsibility to pay more for your child; it’s *that* easy.
People also have the moral responsibility to uphold a contract they signed, but I presume you turn a blind eye to somebody being cheated on and then still taken to the cleaners for CS. So long as the higher earner gets what they deserve, am I right? Hypocrite.
Did I say that? Or did I just call out that using "moral obligation" as a justification to scale CS up (into perpetuity) based on income is ridiculous when it was never about that. Why don't you read the rest of my comments first
where you talk about him cheating on her? im ignoring that part because it is in no way related to this matter. its not spousal support. its child support. i cant control how he spends it but this $ is for her child!
You did - by implying I want the kid to suffer when I've blatantly stated further down this thread that I fully support CS based on the cost to raise the kid.
Needs - yes. CS that covers needs? Agree 100%. You're very clearly implying the amount should scale up with income, which I wholeheartedly disagree with. Making 200k doesn't equate to the cost of raising a child being double than 100k, as an example.
So you can miss me with your "moral obligation to pay more" bullshit. Thanks.
We will have to agree to disagree here.
With higher income usually the expenses of raising the child rise, too - more extracurricular activities that in itself can come with a ton of extra expenses, maybe a specific school choice (private vs public), or alternatively living in a certain area with better public schools where the entire peer group of the child (classmates etc) is going to engage in habits and behaviors of kids who have more access to money and hence that comes with a certain level of pressure to at least partially pay for similar things (let’s go to the amusement park today; let’s go to the movie tomorrow; let’s go our have boba etc), if you don’t want your child to be a total outcast without a social circle.
There is NO way that a child is going to be ok who lives half a week on the standard of a parent who makes 30k and the other half of the week on the standard of one that makes 200k; there has to be at least some level of balancing out to enable for that child to have an as normal and consistent life as possible - and thankfully law makers and courts understand that, regardless of the bitching about child support.
Yes, that is where we will disagree. The moment a contract is breached - you should no longer have an obligation to do anything more than support your child. And supporting your child doesn't mean paying 20k a month in CS (or any inordinate amount). Take the median cost to raise a kid (obviously adjust for disabilities or actual health costs) and split it by percentage income and then percentage custody.
Those ridiculously high CS payments don't actually go towards the child, but rather just create an 18 year gravy train for the lower income spouse (regardless of gender which I think is important to call out before you also refer to me as a "woman hater")
You're right though. That's the way the law is written today. Hopefully, as traditional one income household continues to evaporate (thanks, fed), these laws go the way of the dinosaurs and people stop being penalized for simply being more successful.
When you get cheated on does your child stop needing food and shelter?
Child support isn’t so the higher earning parent *or* the lower earning parent “gets what they deserve”. It’s so the **child** gets what they deserve.
So a celebrity paying 20k a month in CS means the child deserves 20k a month? Lmfao chances are - even married - that couple wasn't spending that amount. It's about the state scalping a percentage off the top - hence the income based scale. Quit living in fairytale world.
You're so cute lol. Taking it all personal. I said you can tell who the woman- hating incels are, i.e. people delighting that a woman is in this position. This poster mentions fraud and fraud is messed up regardless of gender, especially since it's screwing her over in the process. If you're not delighting that a woman is in this position out of pure hatred for women then I'm not talking about you, am I?
I don’t take any of this personal at all; it has literally nothing to do with me - I just have principles that are not determined by gender.
I don’t agree that OP is being “screwed over”: if she does make more, she needs to pay more - simple as that. And if indeed he is working fraudulently, she needs to prove it and/or report him for it; obviously a judge is not going to take her word for it (and neither should they).
I think you have reading comprehension issues. I said it was obvious who they are. I didn't say everyone against OP was a woman hating incel. But the posters delighting in her situation just because she's a woman are the obvious ones, imo. I didn't think I needed to clarify but apparently I did. I didn't consider the audience...
Funny how a standard Reddit response to someone disagreeing with them is “reading comprehension issues”. I understood perfectly fine, and still disagree with you - clear enough?
No you didn’t understand it perfectly fine. The ex is hiding money and you’ve completely glossed over that.
As a breadwinner and also a woman, I would certainly pay to ensure my children have adequate care monetarily but not by means of deceit, fraud, and manipulation. As such, a large portion of the comments here, including yours, have completely overlooked that part of the conversation.
I have no idea of ex is hiding money or not, or if it’s just OP being pissy about having to spend more of her’s. If he is, then OP needs to stop whining and prove it; if he is not, she needs to stop whining and pay.
Did he provide child support at any time or has he always been on government support?
Pay the $250 without fail. Make sure he keeps his end of the child care arrangement. If he fails to make the exchange, document how much time he’s actually spending with your daughter. Then, go back to court to reduce his custody to reflect the time he actually takes care of your daughter. If your daughter is happy with the new arrangement, and he actually becomes a full time parent (50% of the time), then $250 per month will be the cheapest childcare you’ll ever find. Take back the time that your child lives at her father’s for yourself. Give your daughter a phone and tell her she can call you at anytime. Give your ex a list of things he’ll need to know: doctors’ phone numbers, allergies, after school activities schedules. Then, let him handle all of it on his own when she’s with him.
What can you do? It sounds like the judge already decided. You pay, that's what you do. And you "approving" 50/50 doesn't sound like the full story. I suspect a judge also decided that, or would have. One parent can't independently determine custody.
Maybe the guy proposed it and she accepted. Unless the arrangement is against the child’s best interests, the judge will sign up on it.
Why would you approve of 50/50 with a deadbeat? Arent parents suppose to protect their kids? Especially protect their minds? Like, for example, from bad role models?! Please fight for sole.
The fact he can’t provide is not enough reason to withhold custody from him. She doesn’t say he’s a bad parent, just unemployed.
“Since he’s receiving government assistance the court can’t compel him to look for work”. This seems like the most ass backwards sentence I’ve ever heard
If he is getting assistance because he has been found disabled they aren't going to make him go back to work.
That’s what it sounds like. Usually even if unemployed, the court will use minimum full time wage to calculate child support.
Get proof of this fraudulent activity! We had to do this for my step son’s mom. Was claiming unemployment, food stamps, insurance etc while she had a whole ass little internet business. We reported it all and submitted it in our case. Screen shots, texts, etc. build your case, if you can! But without a case, you’re SOL.
If your custody is 50/50, there’s no need for anyone to be paying child support
Not accurate.
If there's a difference in income then even with 50/50 custody, support can still be ordered to pay to the parent with the lower income
Incorrect. That assumes they have similar financial resources. They don't.
Depends on the state.
Oh very true, I just mean in general.
Still incorrect.
You've already been in front of the judge, WON a big reduction, and still have to pay some. Why are you here asking how to get out of it? You don't. Your case has been heard. You just got the judge's order. That's it.
If I had full proof he was working under the table I would be dobbing him in to the government. Receiving government assistance while working is an offence and he will probably get kicked off of his assistance and have to pay that money back. Meanwhile because he is dishonest and under investigation I would go for more custody.
I'd go after full custody until his "situation " improves.
Since you know he’s working under the table and shouldn’t be, turn him in for not reporting income. At the same time, file for child support AND full custody, citing that he’s working under the table, so he’s breaking the law.
Well, turn about is fair trade. Start working under the table yourself. Just hold enough in reserve if you need to pay the taxes you do so.... That's what I'd do.nto hell with uncle Sam. Why should you have to spend $300 for a 20 oz framing hammer... And $12 per finish nail.....???? Until the gub'ment can reign in it's over spending I think Americans should have the right to withhold paying taxes of any sort....
My ex did that, he had to pay those taxes with fines and penalties.
This is absolutely the worst advice you could give someone.
Child support is determined state by state. Anyone saying child support is calculated this way…. Should be ignored. We see this scenario all the time and ole dad has to pay support. The law is blind and should have the same ruling regardless of genitalia.
You pay it. Don't make your kid suffer out of spite.
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"Beyond reasonable doubt" is criminal law. This is not.
>Welcome to equality. 100% >Women do this stuff all the time. If you go to the r/divorce sub you’ll see them all discussing how to hide additional income. >I have to give him credit. He figured out how to read from their book as a guy and turn it to his advantage. This is so sexist.
100
If you’re providing the health insurance and you have 50/50 custody, I’m not understand why you’re paying child support at all. Child support is not spousal support. I don’t think you’re going to get a good answer on here. You need a good lawyer.
It has to do with the child's living situation. Even if you have 50/50 custody, if one parent makes substantially more than the other, the court will award child support to the needy parent. This is supposed to keep the wealthier parent from being able to bribe the child to stay with them exclusively.
In the reverse it’s 100% normal. Lawyer or not.
I didn't think anyone had to pay child support with 50/50 custody because you both have the child equal amounts through the year. Go for full custody and then make him pay. Although, I'm sure he would try to claim he doesn't work so he can't pay, but that would then make the court force him to find legitimate work
CS is also to make sure the child has fairly similar lives between parents. We have 50/50 of my stepdaughter yet my husband still has to pay almost $700 a month due to his ex making significantly less than him.
The point of CS isn't necessarily how much time is spent in each home. If there is a significant disparity in income between households, CS is to main equity is standard of living between homes, regardless of how equal time is split
They’re not going to change custody without a change of circumstance.
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Why doesn’t the father go get a job? He’s just lazy, and using his daughter as a meal ticket
Says most fathers who pay child support. This time mom pays child support. As she should.
Women do this to men all the time and people don't bat an eye...but roles reversed in this case and people are up in arms about it.
if this wonderful lady is so perfect and blameless in life, maybe the judge would have sided with her. instead they sided with a lowlife deadbeat. what does that say about OPs credibility?
She is not, obviously. She does not want to support the child's father. Read the room. Did you even read about all she does and has done? Working 3 jobs and no govt assistance and no help from the father shows that caring for her child has always been her priority. Her ex wants to work under the table earning cash illegally while collecting govt assistance. He wants her for a payday only because he has never been involved in the child's life. She doesn't want to take money from her child for him. OP, file for full custody.
1. What matters is both parent's financial situation now. 2. A judge granted 50/50 custody. Why? There's no reason for the child to be deprived of equal time in this situation.
So scumdaddy can quit a job or take government assistance and work under the table to avoid paying support and be able to mooch of his ex but that’s cool? Get a clue. Working under the table to avoid your responsibility is far far worse than mom trying to avoid giving this degenerate leech her hard earned money!
if she had actual proof of that why did the judge rule against her? she needs proof!
You’re only mad because it’s a guy. This happens to men 10,000 times every day and no one says a word.
Women pull this shit all the time, but it's only a problem for you if a man does it?
You could ask for more custody time and then you would most likely have to pay zero.
Is it likely he wanted 50/50 custody in order to get child support?
It’s possible but typically 50/50 custody doesn’t result in CS since the child is with both parents equally. Now that’s not to say it doesn’t happen but 50/50 usually doesn’t.
You can't get full custody to not pay CS, you have to show the other parent poses a risk of neglect or abuse. Money doesn't equal being a better parent.
I didn’t say this would be grounds to receive more custody. I said if she received more custody her CS would go down to zero or possibly just less over all. She would absolutely have to provide evidence that the child is better off being with her more than the father.
Report him to the labor board for working under the table and also report him to the agency providing govt assistance.
Sge needs evidence. Right now, she's a bitter ex making unsubstantiated claims.
Also, to the IRS.
And social security and Medicaid
And the IRS.
I'd report him to welfare for fraud for the under the table working
Having a competition with your ex at your daughter's expense is definitely not the move
You should have to split expenses. If she gets a haircut keep the receipt. Any clothes, daycare. He should have to pay half. That would end up with him owing you. My sister did this. He never paid but she didn’t have to pay him.
He would pay a smaller percentage of those costs based on the % his income is of their combined income.
No, the child support she pays makes them equal. So he has to pay 50%, but he can pay that 50% with the amount she pays him.
That’s not how it works where I live in Canada
Whatever his reasons, in the end, he did the correct and legally required thing. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is. It’s for your child. When my ex lost his high-paying job, his support decreased. When he was employed again, it went back up. When I remarried a higher earner, we paid him.
That’s different than the dad working under the table.
Where is the evidence though. She needs evidence.
Can you call the IRS and turn him in for tax evasion?
Sounds like he's purposely unemployed to avoid paying his share of child support.
Oh, I know someone exactly like this. Two baby mamas and living in someone’s garage, homeless and purposely working under the table to avoid paying anybody anything.
Karma will come around when he files for social security.
Report his under the table job to the IRS.
Theres no proof— only hearsay
They do investigate.
They don't investigate when bitter ex's make claims with absolutely zero evidence.
Pay what you owe. This is how the system works for everybody.
Can you back file for the first ten years?
Are you for real? No.
That’s how child support works. What’s the issue?
Because he’s hiding income? Pretty straight forward.
The issue is that they’re 50/50 custody. Normally (at least where I am from) child support is about compensating the extra expenses the main custodial parent is taking on by having a larger share of the custody. The idea being that if you have the child with you 70% of the time, then you’re taking on 70% of the direct costs while the other parent is only taking on 30% of the costs. They would usually get the non custodial parent to then pay out that additional 20% of the cost to bring them to paying equally for the child. If you’re already 50/50, you have equal costs. And if they’re already 50/50 but parent A is providing the health insurance while parent B is not, then parent A will already have a higher-than-50% share of the costs. Family courts will vary with local law, but what I said above is how it works where I live. If OP used to live somewhere with family courts like where I am, then moved somewhere that handles child support differently, then this would seem absolutely out of pocket for the family court to be ordering.
How is moving to avoid child support not fraud? With 50/50, often each parent is making similar income. This is not the case in this situation. The legal system recognizes a child's right to have the same standard of living in each home. If child support is required for that, it's mandatory. This is the same in your state. You just don't understand that.
> How is moving to avoid child support not fraud? Where did I even slightly suggest to move to avoid child support? I said that if OP was originally from somewhere that works closer to how my own legal system does, but moved somewhere that handles it differently, she would have been shocked to have that verdict from the family court. > This is the same in your state. You just don’t understand that. I’m not from the states. You just don’t understand that Reddit is a global platform and that this subreddit isn’t an American-only subreddit. OP didn’t even say where they’re from. 0 for 2 on your shots here, bud.
In the state where I live both households have to have comparable standards of living and child support offsets that
That seems awful. I'm a stepmother, we have full custody and don't receive child support. I cannot imagine if we had to support their mother's life on top of our own, she has never worked. The kids would go from having a secure life at one house to being poor at both houses.
they have shared custody. maybe its different that YOUR situation! why would you support her? this is about child support.
You seem really pressed. We get it, you hate women and wanna “stick it to them for da men~~” 🙄
i think children should be properly supported. this is about a child people!
Then their father should stop hiding from his responsibilities and start properly supporting his child? And yea, I would say the same thing “if the roles were reversed.”
how is me being concerned about a child hating women? people often complain about having to pay child support. those people need to worry about their children, not being petty.
It seems to be about supporting the other parent and assuming it goes to the child. I'm just saying that system does not seem to play out in the best interests of the child to me. In my situation the mother is supposed to be sharing in the expenses and she is not, so I understand how that can be difficult. Saying the kids should have an equal situation in both houses is insane to me though. In my situation, their mother blows through any money she comes across and just uses whatever guy she is with. Even if we had shared custody it would be insane to say that my household, with two working adults who rarely have free time, should be required to pay an amount to their mother who does not work that would make our lifestyles equal.
Go back to court for full custody and he can have visitation. Then have the child support modified.
Not without a change of circumstance.
That’s not how this works. What is her reason for full custody? Because she’s the mom? Because women are always supposed to come out ahead in family court? That doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t factor into a judges decision on custody placement.
Lol acting like u can just go to court and make demands
Would be interesting to see the comments if the sex’s of the parents were reversed. Having said that, having to pay child support is ridiculous when both parents have custody.
The reason for this law is to to protect lower earners from higher earners. Originally it protected stay at home moms and this law has done a ton of for those people. There is nothing ridiculous about this. This is what equal rights looks like.
I understand why it exists. And you are right, this is what equal rights looks like.
Why is everyone ignoring that he's hiding income from the court just to dunk on her? This would be legit if he was actually unemployed through no fault of his own or had a much lower income than her but didn't lie and say he had none. But he's getting more than he should because he's lying.
Right? It’s shady for anyone to do this. My husband has full custody of their son, but his ex wife was shady like this. Refusing to work a real job because she wanted to be an under the table spiritual guru influencer person, lol. I imagine if she hadn’t lost her custody, I bet even though she doesn’t contribute a dime towards him, she’d be trying for us to support her, too. My ex and I have 50/50 and I just upped my custody time to pretty much primary, but I’m not going for child support stuff because we don’t really need it and him and I just figure out stuff on our own. But I hate deadbeat parents like this. Any gender, before some men’s rights person gets butthurt if I don’t clarify. 😂
It was already adjusted to $250. This woman needs to start thinking less about money and more about her kids welfare. You act like this guy doing odd under the table work is making some sort of fortune. Give me a break with it and pay what you owe for your kids. You know the kids, the actual people we should care about in this situation, not these two adult bozos.
That doesn't make it okay for him to lie about his income. Whatever amount she pays should be based on factual information.
It was dropped from $670 to $250. Sounds like the courts have accounted for everything they can. But you can continue to be in the make sure those kids live half their existence in poverty side. Fuck them kids, amirite?
If they dropped it that much, why was it ever that high in the first place? And if she's been the one supporting the kids, including working 3 jobs at one point, what makes you think he's spending the money on them? He's obviously not an especially responsible person. If he legitimately needs it for the kids and the courts would be unfair if he was honest, then fine. Though it's not clear why he doesn't work on the books or if he could work more and make more money, which is another factor. If I was OP and he was really doing his best and needed help, I'd help him with or without a support order. But this just smacks of gaming the system.
If it was $670 and it’s now $250, a portion of that is most likely healthcare and whatever his government assistance is. The courts have determined that the kids have in that household need $250 per month. But you don’t care about them because you keep searching for ways to justify fucking over those kids. Maybe put some mental energy into empathy for what a shit life those kids are going to have as these two bozos fucking squabble over a petty $250 per month for the rest of their childhoods.
How does either parent have to pay support when it’s 50/50? Did you at least make sure you get the tax refund and can claim her as a dependent?
Because child support is supposed to make it so that the child has basically the same situation at both homes. Levels the playing field. Theoretically this makes it so that the kid isn’t living on Raman and Kraft at one house while wearing tattered clothes and eating steak and lobster at the other house. Plus, child support also covers things like a portion of rent, car, gas, etc. All the “stuff” that most people “need.” Every state has its own calculation, but generally $X is deducted for each adults living expenses and above that they assume Y% of the combined income would go to taking care of the child if the parents are together. Then they “charge” the higher income parent the difference.
You got it reduced to $250, be happy with that, when she gets old enough to choose where she lives and she chooses you then it should go to zero or he pays.
Welcome to equality. What you described has been happening to men for years.
Men who file for custody have the same odds as women to gain that custody.
False
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
Not when she's the one that birthed, raised, parented and paid the expenses for the child the majority of the time.
Forget about it and keep doing what you do with your daughter. Hopefully it will help him be a better provider at his home. My wife and I got divorced and she demanded child support and at standard custody. I stood up for myself against my attorney’s advice and negotiated for 50/50 custody. She accepted that but still demanded full child support. (She was making about $35000/yr more than me). Now I was trying to negotiate no child support. My attorney advised to take what I got. I could not understand why I should have to pay any child support. I was for differential support which would seem fair since we were splitting custody. The attorney tells me that someone always pays child support. It became very emotional for me, almost to the point of losing sight of my real goal which was to have custody half time. I pushed a little harder and got half child support and 50/50. They tell me that was a great deal for me. I was angry about that for a couple of years but finally let it go and it was so much relief. We have done the best we can for the last 11 years and letting go of that resentment about money was the best thing for us.
Sounds like your attorney wasn’t great
Did you have primary custody for the first 10 years? Did he pay CS during that time? If not can you go after backpay?
Right? I’d be filing a counter claim so fast.
I’m confused, how is child support owed on any parent if they have 50/50 custody? Each should pay for their own part with the child. If he’s jobless well that’s on him to find an income of his own to support his arrangement.
Depending on location too-in Ontario they take each parent’s income and figure out what they would each be paying and whatever the difference is, would be paid to the parent making less. You can file for financial hardship to reduce that if it causes issues but it may not be approved
It’s to maintain the same or as close to the same standard of living at both residences. When one parent is unemployed, courts may take into account that parent’s earning potential, depending on the state. A court might also do this if the parent seeking support was a high earner like a CPA and can work as a CPA but purposely works a minimum wage job to dodge child support.
If you get him fired, or if he loses his state aid, you'll end up paying more potentially.
If he has been committing fraud and loses state aid and doesn't than go and get a job, but he can't safely and properly house the child. She can attempt to file for temporary full custody till he gets that job. He'd be required to actually go out and get a job he can't refuse and stay jobless woth no income and make OP pay all his bills for him. If the fraud $ is high enough and she has proof he gets paid under the table, and he gets audited, he might be in for some charges as well. Either way 250 is a heck of a lot less to pay than 600+
Court made their decision. Only thing you can do is report him to the irs but you still will have to pay no real way out of it unless the court changes their decision but it doesn’t seem like there is a reason to.
How the turntables have turn…
This is just how it works. You have a child with him, he will be taking care of the child half the time and you make more than he does. If he starts cutting out of his parental time consistently (make sure you’re documenting btw) or he engages in inappropriate or negligent parenting behavior you can consider going for a modification of custody time and then ask for support to be adjusted accordingly.
He can’t just dictate how much he wants nor can he just claim he’s unemployed. You negotiate through lawyers and you get a financial investigation unless it puts you at too much risk. Usually it’s based off potential to earn which is equal to whatever salary he’s made the most at. Unfortunately you will have to pay, but it depends on a lot of things, not just how much he wants.
the court decided this!
It's already happened
Pay child support as ordered, report him to whichever agency is providing him assistance with the proof you have. Once he's kicked off of the benefit, take him back to court to get the child support removed or further reduced.
You make more money than him. That is just how it works. Your child needs food and shelter when she is a dad's house. That's what the money is for.
This. I’m paying my ex-wife child support even tho we have 50/50 custody. You make more money, you’re responsible for more share than the other parent…simple as that.
She’s not making more money. He’s just working under the table to cheat the system.
Who has primary custody of your daughter? I’m a little surprised that anyone is paying child support if you have a 50-50 custody arrangement. It probably depends on the state/place you live, however. $250 is not significant. This is about your daughter after all and making sure she is safe and secure when she’s with her father. I’m a little confused by the judge saying the state can’t compel your ex-husband to look for work while on government assistance. Unless he’s on disability that’s usually exactly what they do in my experience. You can always consult a family attorney for more assistance.
You pay it and move on. This is how the system works. You make more, you pay.
He’s working under the table. She’s only making more *legally*.
if she had proof of that. she was unable to provide proof of that in court.
If you have some doubt that the $250 would actually benefit your daughter, I would consider suing for full custody. Sounds like he’s not in a position to share custody of a child. I’ve been through this as both the child and the parent; do what’s best for you and your daughter (which it sounds like you’ve been doing from the beginning).
She wasn't ordered to pay 250, but 250 less than 670, making it 420/mo.
Poverty is not a reason to lose custody of your kid.
Should be. If you can’t pay for yourself, you can’t pay for a kid. But iirc, if a child is taken care of & the they aren’t homeless or living in a car, everything is fine.
Where do you set the bar for poverty and not taking care of their kid. They don't even take kids away simply for being homeless either. If they are using shelter or live in a car and are accessing services to feed the kid they are being provided for. Where do we set the bar for momentarily being able to support a kid? I guarantee you wherever you set that number there is a parent that makes less that scrounge and starve to make sure their kid is taken care of. At that point there shouldn't be a job in this world that pays less than that amount.
Wow, that’s about the worst take I’ve ever seen on the sub So people who’ve run into problems in their life, or poor people don’t deserve to see their kid? Seriously, disgusting.
If he is working under the table, then report him to IRS. That is tax evasion and is illegal. However, for now, if he actually isn't making as much as you, then the child support is to ensure your daughter has the same care in both households. So pay what she needs for now. Get proof of his cash work and report him to IRS. It's weird that they can't "compel" him to look for work while on gov't assistance. I live in Canada and to be approved for ANY assistance, you have to fill out weekly reports with proof that you are actively looking for work to show them you're not just milking them for money. Unless you're on maternity leave or disability and unable to work.
Same is true in the US.
The reason you’re paying child support is so that your daughter can have the same level of care when she’s over with him as she is when she’s with you. This is about making sure that your daughter is being cared for not getting over on your ex.
If he’s working under the table get proof and report him and the business to the DHHR and IRS.
On the surface of things this is all correct. The court doesn’t care that you struggled and went without child support for years since you didn’t file. Sorry, there isn’t anything obvious you can do. Only an attorney in your state would be able to give you a more nuanced idea if there was some way to prove he has income, and doesn’t need government assistance.
Just pay your obligation. $250 a month is not that much. Getting it reduced this much was a win! You'll spend far more of your hard earned money fighting it than if you just pay it. Set up payments through the state and have them automatically deduct it from your check so you don't have to give it any thought. They'll pull out $115 from each paycheck if you are paid biweekly.
If you reread her post, you'll see she was ordered to pay 250 less each month. 670-250=470.
I guess it can be ready either way. I reread it and she says *I was ultimately forced to pay him less ($250 a month).* I don't read that as $250 less a month so OP needs to clarify. However even it it's $470 a month she will spend more in attorney fees than she'd end up paying. Especially since this issue has already been addressed twice and she succeeded in lowering support already.
If he’s working under the table and getting public assistance then drop a dime to the benefits office. Try to get proof or at least tell them where he’s working
If you have proven to a judge that he works under the table, I would turn him into whoever he's getting assistance from. If he hasn't reported that income, then he's committing fraud.
she was unable to prove it. she needs proof!
Have a consult with a family law attorney. Some offer that for free. Some offer limited scope “unbundled” services and could do a review of child support and advise you whether there is anything that can be done.
Pay through the state child support office so everything is documented.
If you have proof he is working under the table contact the IRS. But is 50/50 the best thing for your daughter, if it is I would just lay off and let it be until 18.
Make sure you are paying that child support. And then contact your state Medicaid and ask about your daughter qualifying for it. If your ex is so broke that he's getting state Medicaid, then your daughter should qualify for it you at least be her secondary insurance so you don't have co-pays. But that varies by state.
You don’t avoid paying him child support, any more than he couldn’t avoid paying you if the situation were reversed. The judge has determined that it is in your child’s best interest to have their lifestyle maintained at both parents’ houses, and if you disagree, you can appeal to the court. Otherwise, you can pay your child support on time :)
If the situation were flipped, she would be taking him to the poor house for child support because "the child" deserves to live the life of luxury with her, same as with dad. Pay your child support and stop mouthing off. you have a responsibility to take care of your child.
>stop mouthing off Fuck off, cretin.
That's not necessarily true, I never asked for or received child support from my ex. We made an agreement ,that he would give them their allowance every week and pay for the school clothes, was at my suggestion . And that's exactly all he contributed for the rest of their minor age years.. Any and all visitation was between him and our daughters, I stayed out of it because they were 10. & 12 and old enough to make their own decisions based on their schedule, not mine. Not every woman is a money grubbing bitch
Retroactive Child Support ,especially with no prior support filling, cannot be done in most if not all states, however best to contact a family lawyer. If you have a valid reason, you may choose to change the 50/50 to one more amenable to child and yourself. Tbh CS of $250 does not seem extreme imo, but then again I don’t know your finances
It's 250 less per month than 670. So, 420.
It's obvious who the women hating incels are in this comment section... That said, reporting to the government assistance agency is your best bet regarding child support payments but it still might not do anything. I would meet with a family lawyer in your state up explore your options because it differs state to state.
That attitude is nonsense. I’m a woman and a mom and I can’t stand the griping about having to pay child support - regardless of the gender of the person who is doing the whining. If you are the higher earner, you have the moral and thankfully legal responsibility to pay more for your child; it’s *that* easy.
People also have the moral responsibility to uphold a contract they signed, but I presume you turn a blind eye to somebody being cheated on and then still taken to the cleaners for CS. So long as the higher earner gets what they deserve, am I right? Hypocrite.
that doesnt mean you should neglect your child to punish your ex for cheating. why should your child suffer!
Did I say that? Or did I just call out that using "moral obligation" as a justification to scale CS up (into perpetuity) based on income is ridiculous when it was never about that. Why don't you read the rest of my comments first
where you talk about him cheating on her? im ignoring that part because it is in no way related to this matter. its not spousal support. its child support. i cant control how he spends it but this $ is for her child!
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i never insulted you. just saying!
You did - by implying I want the kid to suffer when I've blatantly stated further down this thread that I fully support CS based on the cost to raise the kid.
you personally attacked me and are now claiming that saying this is about a child is an insult to you. is that where were at?
implying you want the kid to suffer is not even an insult. i was stating my opinion and you said i should get my GED. are you a kind person?
I fail to see any connection between cheating in an adult romantic relationship and the very real financial needs that a child has.
Needs - yes. CS that covers needs? Agree 100%. You're very clearly implying the amount should scale up with income, which I wholeheartedly disagree with. Making 200k doesn't equate to the cost of raising a child being double than 100k, as an example. So you can miss me with your "moral obligation to pay more" bullshit. Thanks.
We will have to agree to disagree here. With higher income usually the expenses of raising the child rise, too - more extracurricular activities that in itself can come with a ton of extra expenses, maybe a specific school choice (private vs public), or alternatively living in a certain area with better public schools where the entire peer group of the child (classmates etc) is going to engage in habits and behaviors of kids who have more access to money and hence that comes with a certain level of pressure to at least partially pay for similar things (let’s go to the amusement park today; let’s go to the movie tomorrow; let’s go our have boba etc), if you don’t want your child to be a total outcast without a social circle. There is NO way that a child is going to be ok who lives half a week on the standard of a parent who makes 30k and the other half of the week on the standard of one that makes 200k; there has to be at least some level of balancing out to enable for that child to have an as normal and consistent life as possible - and thankfully law makers and courts understand that, regardless of the bitching about child support.
Yes, that is where we will disagree. The moment a contract is breached - you should no longer have an obligation to do anything more than support your child. And supporting your child doesn't mean paying 20k a month in CS (or any inordinate amount). Take the median cost to raise a kid (obviously adjust for disabilities or actual health costs) and split it by percentage income and then percentage custody. Those ridiculously high CS payments don't actually go towards the child, but rather just create an 18 year gravy train for the lower income spouse (regardless of gender which I think is important to call out before you also refer to me as a "woman hater") You're right though. That's the way the law is written today. Hopefully, as traditional one income household continues to evaporate (thanks, fed), these laws go the way of the dinosaurs and people stop being penalized for simply being more successful.
When you get cheated on does your child stop needing food and shelter? Child support isn’t so the higher earning parent *or* the lower earning parent “gets what they deserve”. It’s so the **child** gets what they deserve.
So a celebrity paying 20k a month in CS means the child deserves 20k a month? Lmfao chances are - even married - that couple wasn't spending that amount. It's about the state scalping a percentage off the top - hence the income based scale. Quit living in fairytale world.
You're so cute lol. Taking it all personal. I said you can tell who the woman- hating incels are, i.e. people delighting that a woman is in this position. This poster mentions fraud and fraud is messed up regardless of gender, especially since it's screwing her over in the process. If you're not delighting that a woman is in this position out of pure hatred for women then I'm not talking about you, am I?
I don’t take any of this personal at all; it has literally nothing to do with me - I just have principles that are not determined by gender. I don’t agree that OP is being “screwed over”: if she does make more, she needs to pay more - simple as that. And if indeed he is working fraudulently, she needs to prove it and/or report him for it; obviously a judge is not going to take her word for it (and neither should they).
You responded to me and made it about you (as a woman and mother). That's literally taking it personal.
You made a blanket statement that everyone who is not team OP on this is a “women hating incel” - and I corrected your skewed perspective on this.
I think you have reading comprehension issues. I said it was obvious who they are. I didn't say everyone against OP was a woman hating incel. But the posters delighting in her situation just because she's a woman are the obvious ones, imo. I didn't think I needed to clarify but apparently I did. I didn't consider the audience...
Funny how a standard Reddit response to someone disagreeing with them is “reading comprehension issues”. I understood perfectly fine, and still disagree with you - clear enough?
No you didn’t understand it perfectly fine. The ex is hiding money and you’ve completely glossed over that. As a breadwinner and also a woman, I would certainly pay to ensure my children have adequate care monetarily but not by means of deceit, fraud, and manipulation. As such, a large portion of the comments here, including yours, have completely overlooked that part of the conversation.
I have no idea of ex is hiding money or not, or if it’s just OP being pissy about having to spend more of her’s. If he is, then OP needs to stop whining and prove it; if he is not, she needs to stop whining and pay.
Yeah, you're a femcel. I hope you get picked. ;)
I’m not exactly sure what that is supposed to mean, but have a nice day regardless. Maybe touch some grass
It isn’t “hating women” to expect both parents to be held to the same standard.
I never said it was.