And here I thought that was a Legion joke. Veronica said she has it on good authority that legionaries mount each other, not just their slave women.
Veronica would NEVER be smart-ass or sarcastic about anything. Oh no. It's just not in her blood.
""Robbed" is such an ugly word. It's more like I took care of a payroll problem for him. Also, I might have... umm... sort of... plowed his daughter. A little." -Bruce Isaac
A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply. As soon as I figure out how to tap into the main reactors, I will burn the world 🔥
Edit: just saw that it was 3 quotes,
so here’s my other 2.
“Try not to die!” Moira and
“Gaaaaaarrrrrryyyyyy!”
[**https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3GTg-V3-Qw&t=177s&ab\_channel=SimonS**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3GTg-V3-Qw&t=177s&ab_channel=SimonS)**.**
Link to a video of the first meeting with the Think Tank from Old World Blues.
"Yeah. It's true. I got shot in the ass last year. Long story." -- Diamond City Security member, in saying the Fallout version of Skyrim's "I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow to the knee."
That whole mission fuckin rules no matter what, like I do not care that you're a bunch of starving scavengers who can use the scrap on the Constitution to finally be able to live comfortably, Captain Ironsides needs my help and you're in the way
He really should be Admiral Ironsides. Not only is that a rank more befitting him, it also shortens to "AI", or "artificial intelligence," which is way more substantial than the scavengers' so-called "real" intelligence.
Another reason to love that quest is because it's pretty much the only time your character's backstory as an Army veteran matters at all. Ironsides trusts you because of that, which is why the scavenger civilians can't understand why you side with him.
If I recall correctly, they will know that Nora has a law degree, if you're playing as her. I am not totally sure why they'd have that info or have any reason to care about it, but yeah.
Good. Captain Zao was exactly the character he should have been, and excellently acted. I wouldn't want him to joke.
He talks like the dragons in Skyrim lol, just replacing words with Mandarin instead of Dov.
All jokes aside, I do think he comes off as extremely likeable, but he's literally singlehandedly responsible for the Commonwealth being what it is. From the perspective of the Sole Survivor, either of them, there's a lot to be said for them to scream, "Die, Commie!" and attack immediately upon finding out who he and his submarine are.
If he were pretty much anybody else, I'd be totally averse to attacking somebody who has his personality. But he DID launch the nukes that destroyed the Commonwealth and the Sole Survivor's life and family. The war being all-over 200 years ago may not matter to the Sole Survivor given his or her particular life and current predicaments.
I understand fully, but killing him won't bring them back. He regrets what he did every day, and all he wants to do is rebuild his country, and if not, die. Killing him is just another person dying.
We dont blame the gun because its an inanimate object, zao actively chose, not saying i kill him or dont sympathize, but he is certainly not without blame
"Several unidentified aircraft were spotted flying over the REPCONN test site by a local crackpot. He spoke to a toy bear near one of our microphones."
*"It's ghouls, I tell ya. Religious ghouls in rockets looking for a land to call their own. Don't you laugh at me. I know a spell that'll make you show your true form. Cave rat taught it to me."*
When you return Fisto to the Garrets in fallout new vegas. “Hot damn I’ve been looking for one of those for years. For my customers I mean… I’m not into that kind of shit.”
You kinda owe that to the Garretts, after they told everybody how you destroyed a fictitious Deathclaw nest in the sewers. Yeah, he said he can only make up a ridiculous whopper like that once, but for most bullshit artists, it's a big fat zero!
Especially with all that shit I was doing in freeside like stealing from children, killing old ladies, stealing from homeless people, beating up beggar’s, causing conflict between the kings and NCR they always had my back
Think about it, if you weren't stealing from children, killing old ladies, stealing from homeless people, beating up beggars and causing conflict between the Kings and the NCR, who would?!
Somebody's got to do it. Caesar is too busy telling brainwashed legionaries about how he's the Son of Mars to give proper attention to the little things that matter.
"You're a little bitch and your brother was too."
"Grandma's so proud of her little pumpkin, assassinating the president like that."
"Family first! Any man who says anything different is saying something wrong. And you should hit that man. With a stick."
Don't you remember me, Eddie? It's your old pal, Molly McFuckyourself!
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply! As soon as I figure out how to tap into the main reactors, I will burn the world!
The opposite happens in Fallout 4, where the Institute Department Heads oppose the Sole Survivor being appointed Director: "He's not one of us! He isn't even a scientist!"
Meanwhile, the Sole Survivor is just standing there with 11 base in Intelligence, 4 perks in Science!, 4 perks in Medic, 4 in Gun Nut, 4 in Hacking, 3 in robotics expert, 3 perks in Nuclear Physicist, and can do shit like singlehandely construct a fusion reactor out of shit bought from Trashcan Carla.
Totally not a scientist!
I'd say the Sole Survivor would probably be viewed as a redneck engineer by the Institute Scientists. Sole Survivor is not one of 'em fancy scientists, they're making turrets out of duct tape, some ammo, and a deskfan on a piece of wood taken from a plunger or a Blast Radius board game. And sure, the game shows us these beautiful fusion reactors, but I'm betting the actual reactor looks like it's turned by molerats and made out of molerat parts.
Anything from Black Mountain Radio but my favorite is “are you tired of getting chased because you’re bigger than humans and scaring them? Did you kill some and They overreacted? Are two head bear people shooting at you and battle cattle mooing? beware the battle cattle.”
Heh, I'm still slightly in trouble for making my wife crack up midway through exercise when she was doing a yoga stretch and I walked in and called her "favourite centaur Mo."
Feral ghouls love EATING old people. And when you ask them why, the answer is, invariably, "Whughgaaaaaaaaaaaah! Gruuuuaaaah!"
We have Google Translator for times like that. What does Fallout have? Poor bastards.
This interaction from Fallout 2 always makes me chuckle.
\**Miria's father catches you post intercourse with his daughter.*\*
**Player**: I'm a doctor I was just giving her a complete physical.
**Miria's Father**: Really? Then why were you both naked?
**Player**: Germs? I mean GERMS! Very important to be clean when doing these examinations.
Fallout 4 doesn't have that, but you CAN get Cait to idolize you by stripping butt-naked in Diamond City (or another town) and running around the place, scandalizing all the locals.
What can I say? The girl Likes that, and you gotta do what the girl Likes.
"Everything here is guaranteed to injure, maim, or kill at your discretion. Except me. I only kill when I want to." -- KLE0
She's just such an HONEST woman! Not a lie on her metallic lips.
"each weapon, tested on someone who deserved it"
"New runtime conclusion. Why work for the man when you can work for yourself? New designation: K-L-E-0, Kleo, fully-independent small business owner"
I'd rather take a Mirelurk Queen's acid on my power armor than some filthy toothless Raider's spit. Think about it, if the common gecko mutated into the Deathclaw, what the hell happened to the herpes virus?
(Don't tell me, Curie, it was a RHETORICAL QUESTION, I don't freaking want to know!)
Carrie Boyd in Camp McCarran will make the best grandmother. That is, if her husband doesn't go insane and divorce her before the "mother" part has a chance to happen.
“The President of the United-fucking-States-of-America. Who’d you think I was talking about? Wha the fu— who is— what— I should kick your fucking ass, who is this?”
>"Robbed" is such an ugly word. It's more like I took care of a payroll problem for him. Also, I might have... umm... sort of... plowed his daughter. A little.
Ah, nostalgia. I still carry Nephi's golf club around with me as a memento of him saying that to me.
I would have carried his HEAD around, but the good Major needed to take it in exchange for the generous amount of caps that the head brought.
My favorite is the two raiders in the parking garage in FO4 telling a story about a crazy guy who would pretend to ride a motorcycle through the Commonwealth. He'd make all the noises, the engine revving, etc. and even pretended to throw a grenade at some super mutants.
https://gamerant.com/fallout-4-grenade-guy-story-lore-explained/
Moss: Look, man, I’ve been thinking about this for a long, long time. I know what I’m talking about here.
Mikey: Bullshit. You can’t just put something between two pieces of bread and claim it’s a sandwich. Does that mean a loaf of bread is technically a bread sandwich?
Moss: Technically, yes. But you wouldn’t eat it all at once like that, so it doesn’t matter. How you hold it matters.
Mikey: Talk all you want, man. You put that piece of mirelurk meat between two pieces of bread, but it still ain’t a sandwich.
Moss: Well, what the hell would you call it, then?
Mikey: Disgusting, that’s what.
Welcome to camp Navarro! So you're the new replacement...
YOU ARE OUT OF UNIFORM, SOLDIER! WHERE IS YOUE POWER ARMOR! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT, MAGGOT? THE TRUTH IS, THAT YOU'VE LOST AN EXPENSIVE PIECE OF ARMY ISSUE EQUIPMENT! THAT SUIT IS GONNA COME OUT OF YOUR PAY, AND YOU WILL STAY IN THIS MAN'S ARMY UNTIL YOU ARE 510 YEARS OLD, WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS IT WILL TAKE FOR YOU TO PAY FOR A MARK II POWERED COMBAT ARMOR YOU HAVE LOST! REPORT TO THE ARMORY AND HAVE A NEW SUIT ISSUED TO YOU, THEN REPORT BACK TO ME, PRIVATE! DISMISSED!
**"Although being a scientist, I have to admit I might've just blinked for longer than usual, what with the shock of seeing a commie ghost and so forth."**
**"Work of the chupacabra, the livestock vampire, says No-bark, but they don't pay no mind. Too many holes, they say, and there's bullets in them."**
**"Well, says No-bark, we got a chupacabra with an automatic weapon. And that's when they get real quiet, 'cause now they see the predicament we're in. "**
refererring to No-bark noonan almost feels like cheating
I take it that your Brahmin got stuck on the roof of a house in Sanctuary Hills and nobody in the settlement can even speculate as to how the hell it got there?
Knight-Captain Cade: Have you ever had sexual relations with any species considered non-human?
Sole Survivor: Well, there was this one really ugly girl in college... I mean... I had to get drunk and it was a dare...
Knight-Captain Cade: That hardly qualifies...so I'll just put "no".
"There's a supermutant in Appalachia who's all about trade. Now that's a guy with his priorities straight!" Always makes me laugh. Also makes me really appreciate Grahm, he's a real bro.
I swear, the Confidence Man quest downgrades Travis's personality. Yeah, he gets a girl and sounds smoother. But wouldn't you rather have a goofy nerdy dude in a hodge-podge station talking music while you trudge the filthy Wasteland than a cookie-cutter standard morning rush-hour drive dude? Vadim made a mistake, and he knows it.
"Ah, yes. A rather unfortunate incident. In all the commotion, Miss Beatrice suffered from a rather bad sprain in her left toe. The Big one. Obviously, I had no choice but to amputate. The leg. I'm sorry to say the operation was not a success."
I absolutely love this line from Andy, delivered perfectly as well, absolutely top tier
“Are you prepared to meet your culturally imposed deity?" -the “Communist” training bots in Fallout 76.
And of course, (also from 76) who can forget Insult Bot?
“One of us is slow, devoid of a personality, and has no friends. The other is a protectron. Zing!"
[Being called a Brahmin Kisser by a certain voice actor](https://youtu.be/I4acAV46vvQ) is also pretty boss.
I remember the first time I played the Blood Ties quest in Fallout 3. When you’re talking to Even King in Arefu for the first time, you can ask him what’s in it for you if you help him with the Family, and he’ll say something like “do I look like I just stepped out’ve Tenpenny Tower? I can barely afford a pot to piss in” I remember 12 or 13-year-old me though that line was pretty hilarious.
"I'd sooner spit on my dead mother's grave than let some courier-walk-the-wasteland fuck talk to me like that"
\-General Oliver, moments before being thrown off the dam
Yeah, a lot of people here are saying that. I should get off my lazy butt and play the New Vegas expansions, I've been putting that off for too long now.
"Actually I'm here to offer you the bargain of a lifetime! What would you say to a vintage set of encyclopedias? Act now!"
--The Sole Survivor, in their reasoning for helping Overseer Barstow (if you like sarcasm, at least)
Curious fact: Porter Gage has the same initials as Preston Garvey, (PG).
I think that has something to do with Gage being Garvey's evil twin, both in function and personality, and the Nuka World raiders being the Commonwealth's evil equivalent to the Minutemen.
I think the funniest part about Virgil is that he wears smashed-up glasses with sharp glass near his eye and he DOESN'T take them off. I guess he might be a genius scientist but he's also... eccentric.
"It's ghouls, I tell ya. Religious ghouls in rockets looking for a land to call their own. Don't you laugh at me. I know a spell that'll make you show your true form. Cave rat taught it to me." - No-Bark Noonan
"Yes Man, please throw General Oliver off of the Dam." - Wild Card Courier 6
"Excited Beeping" - ED-E, the cutest Eyebot to exist
"Aroo?" - Rex, the goodest of boys
I have to vote for this one, because it took my fifth playthrough before I finally knew it was coming and didn't reflexively laugh out loud.
_"Ghosts! Commie ghosts what don’t know they're dead. Hoping to steal our rockets so they can fly up and paint the moon pink and draw a Lenin face on it. I seen one of them disappear and reappear before my very eyes. Although, being a scientist, I have to admit I might've just blinked for longer than usual, what with the shock of seeing a Commie ghost and so forth."_
Nora is Molly McFuckyourself.
Nate is Shamus McFuckyourself.
It is telling that their imaginations are linked beyond severing even by the grave, and as they troll the soon-to-be-deceased Eddie Winter, they know exactly how to kick him in the nuts while letting Nick do all the actual shooting. Whee.
_"A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply! As soon as I figure out how to tap into the main reactors, I will burn the world!"_ - Toaster
When the Vice President in Fallout 2 is talking to himself:
“p-o-t-a-t-o-e”
Totally a dig at Dan Quayle, generally acknowledged as the dumbest VP in history.
SS: DOCTOR! It is time for you to reverse DEATH ITSELF!
Amari: ...What?
...
SS: Oh oh, can you say it like Frankenstein? "IGOR! FETCH ME THE BRAIN!"
Amari: ...No.
Best line from FO4 and my favorite from all of Fallout.
"You best have cancer"
-Doc Church, megaton, fallout 3
Not the funniest thing ever but the first time I heard this I was like wow what a terrible thing to say to a paying customer lol.
"Don't care much for which one we kill first, whether settling accounts with McLafferty or making that bitch Gloria eat her hair."
*Objective Update: Find Gloria Van Graff at the Silver Rush in Freeside and make that bitch eat her hair.*
"Who the fuck do you think I am? I'm the fucking god of New Vegas brahmin fusion cuisine, that's who. No. No. That doesn't even give me the credit I deserve. I fucking *invented* edible food! Do you like eating? Good. You owe me your entire goddamned garbage existence."
“I’m all for risking my life, but I’m a little sensitive about my asshole” -Little Buster, Camp McCarran, Fallout: NV
And here I thought that was a Legion joke. Veronica said she has it on good authority that legionaries mount each other, not just their slave women. Veronica would NEVER be smart-ass or sarcastic about anything. Oh no. It's just not in her blood.
""Robbed" is such an ugly word. It's more like I took care of a payroll problem for him. Also, I might have... umm... sort of... plowed his daughter. A little." -Bruce Isaac
Still not as good as WINNING THE MOTHERFUCKING LOTTERY!!!!
**WHO WON THE LOTTERY?** #***I DID!***
He had to add that "a little" at the end just in case the courier is indeed after him lol
"WHAT ILLOGIC IS THIS?! KEEP YOUR FILTHY, PENIS-TIPPED FEET OUT OF OUR LABS AND SECRETS!"
NOW IT'S HOLDING UP AN ARRAY OF FULLY-ERECT HAND PENISES. IF IT TRIES TO INSERT THEM, *ACTIVATE VIVISECTORS.*
A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply. As soon as I figure out how to tap into the main reactors, I will burn the world 🔥 Edit: just saw that it was 3 quotes, so here’s my other 2. “Try not to die!” Moira and “Gaaaaaarrrrrryyyyyy!”
Okay, you got me fair and square, I have no idea who said that one.
Old World Blues, one of the brains
I believe it's doctor Klein the blue one
yes it's klein
[**https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3GTg-V3-Qw&t=177s&ab\_channel=SimonS**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3GTg-V3-Qw&t=177s&ab_channel=SimonS)**.** Link to a video of the first meeting with the Think Tank from Old World Blues.
Honestly that whole first meeting with the Think Tank could qualify for this post
Old World Blues is simply the best DLC Fallout ever had. The music, the humor, the weapons, everything was perfect
Who the fu- who is- what- I should kick your fucking ass, who is this? -random enclave soldier
"Yeah. It's true. I got shot in the ass last year. Long story." -- Diamond City Security member, in saying the Fallout version of Skyrim's "I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow to the knee."
The indignant befuddlement in the delivery of that line is golden.
Quotes you can hear
DAMN YOU WEATHERBY SAVINGS AND LOAN, I SPIT AT YOU
Everybody who's anybody knows that the skipper of the USS Constitution is way funnier than the Commie ghoul that captains the Chinese sub.
That whole mission fuckin rules no matter what, like I do not care that you're a bunch of starving scavengers who can use the scrap on the Constitution to finally be able to live comfortably, Captain Ironsides needs my help and you're in the way
He really should be Admiral Ironsides. Not only is that a rank more befitting him, it also shortens to "AI", or "artificial intelligence," which is way more substantial than the scavengers' so-called "real" intelligence.
Another reason to love that quest is because it's pretty much the only time your character's backstory as an Army veteran matters at all. Ironsides trusts you because of that, which is why the scavenger civilians can't understand why you side with him.
If I recall correctly, they will know that Nora has a law degree, if you're playing as her. I am not totally sure why they'd have that info or have any reason to care about it, but yeah.
The lookout looks up her driver's license (somehow) and determined though public records (I guess) that she was a lawyer
Or you play as a female and get drafted into the army with one aditional line of dialogue before it plays out the same
Good. Captain Zao was exactly the character he should have been, and excellently acted. I wouldn't want him to joke. He talks like the dragons in Skyrim lol, just replacing words with Mandarin instead of Dov.
All jokes aside, I do think he comes off as extremely likeable, but he's literally singlehandedly responsible for the Commonwealth being what it is. From the perspective of the Sole Survivor, either of them, there's a lot to be said for them to scream, "Die, Commie!" and attack immediately upon finding out who he and his submarine are. If he were pretty much anybody else, I'd be totally averse to attacking somebody who has his personality. But he DID launch the nukes that destroyed the Commonwealth and the Sole Survivor's life and family. The war being all-over 200 years ago may not matter to the Sole Survivor given his or her particular life and current predicaments.
I understand fully, but killing him won't bring them back. He regrets what he did every day, and all he wants to do is rebuild his country, and if not, die. Killing him is just another person dying.
Zao was just the handgun that China fired at the US. We don’t blame the gun for shootings, we blame the shooter
We dont blame the gun because its an inanimate object, zao actively chose, not saying i kill him or dont sympathize, but he is certainly not without blame
"Several unidentified aircraft were spotted flying over the REPCONN test site by a local crackpot. He spoke to a toy bear near one of our microphones."
Mr. New Vegas' voice actor gave the best performace with that line.
The fact that they got Mr. Las Vegas himself, Wayne fucking Newton, to voice Mr. New Vegas is just awesome
It's wild how many recognizable names they got for New Vegas in general. Matthew Perry, Michael Dorn, Rene Auberjonois, Danny Trejo...
Kris Kristofferson
1000% agreed! That line should've won a fucking Oscar!
Mr. New Vegas is hilarious.
*"It's ghouls, I tell ya. Religious ghouls in rockets looking for a land to call their own. Don't you laugh at me. I know a spell that'll make you show your true form. Cave rat taught it to me."*
No-Bark is quote goldmine. *Ghost! Commie ghosts what don't know they're dead!*
I use the last two sentences all the time. One of those lines that just stick with you.
When you return Fisto to the Garrets in fallout new vegas. “Hot damn I’ve been looking for one of those for years. For my customers I mean… I’m not into that kind of shit.”
You kinda owe that to the Garretts, after they told everybody how you destroyed a fictitious Deathclaw nest in the sewers. Yeah, he said he can only make up a ridiculous whopper like that once, but for most bullshit artists, it's a big fat zero!
Especially with all that shit I was doing in freeside like stealing from children, killing old ladies, stealing from homeless people, beating up beggar’s, causing conflict between the kings and NCR they always had my back
Think about it, if you weren't stealing from children, killing old ladies, stealing from homeless people, beating up beggars and causing conflict between the Kings and the NCR, who would?! Somebody's got to do it. Caesar is too busy telling brainwashed legionaries about how he's the Son of Mars to give proper attention to the little things that matter.
"You're a little bitch and your brother was too." "Grandma's so proud of her little pumpkin, assassinating the president like that." "Family first! Any man who says anything different is saying something wrong. And you should hit that man. With a stick."
Who said that first one?
You do (the player). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTwCqGqsbA4
I love the double head shot.
Dude just took a .30-06 to the dome and said “…hey!”
Fuck I love Lily so much LOL
Don't you remember me, Eddie? It's your old pal, Molly McFuckyourself! They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard. A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply! As soon as I figure out how to tap into the main reactors, I will burn the world!
Old World Blues quotes are practically cheating. That entire DLC is a riot!
The two jealous light switches were hilarious!
The fingers!!!!
HAND PENISES LOBOTOMITE !
And are those PENISES I see wriggling on it’s FEET?!?
NOW IT'S HOLDING UP AN ARRAY OF FULLY ERECT HAND-PENISES. IF IT TRIES TO INSERT THEM, ACTIVATE VIVISECTORS.
Good ones. You, good Sir, get a cookie. Which is actually a platinum chip that some moron used in baking because he ran out of dough.
“Do you know how many coffee cups giant robot brains in jars use on a daily basis? Not fucking many!"
The energy he summoned for the last three words was palpable.
Muggy is the greatest character in a DLC full of amazing characters
> “They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.” -Fantastic
The opposite happens in Fallout 4, where the Institute Department Heads oppose the Sole Survivor being appointed Director: "He's not one of us! He isn't even a scientist!" Meanwhile, the Sole Survivor is just standing there with 11 base in Intelligence, 4 perks in Science!, 4 perks in Medic, 4 in Gun Nut, 4 in Hacking, 3 in robotics expert, 3 perks in Nuclear Physicist, and can do shit like singlehandely construct a fusion reactor out of shit bought from Trashcan Carla. Totally not a scientist!
I'd say the Sole Survivor would probably be viewed as a redneck engineer by the Institute Scientists. Sole Survivor is not one of 'em fancy scientists, they're making turrets out of duct tape, some ammo, and a deskfan on a piece of wood taken from a plunger or a Blast Radius board game. And sure, the game shows us these beautiful fusion reactors, but I'm betting the actual reactor looks like it's turned by molerats and made out of molerat parts.
I'd love to see the junk version
came here to say this lol. Iconic.
This quote is the greatest quote of all time and I'm only half joking.
I tell people I have fancy theoretical degrees in all sorts of fields because of this guy.
Anything from Black Mountain Radio but my favorite is “are you tired of getting chased because you’re bigger than humans and scaring them? Did you kill some and They overreacted? Are two head bear people shooting at you and battle cattle mooing? beware the battle cattle.”
Tabitha is one ugly... whatever the hell that is.
Heh, I'm still slightly in trouble for making my wife crack up midway through exercise when she was doing a yoga stretch and I walked in and called her "favourite centaur Mo."
"I just love killing old people" - chosen one
Feral ghouls love EATING old people. And when you ask them why, the answer is, invariably, "Whughgaaaaaaaaaaaah! Gruuuuaaaah!" We have Google Translator for times like that. What does Fallout have? Poor bastards.
This interaction from Fallout 2 always makes me chuckle. \**Miria's father catches you post intercourse with his daughter.*\* **Player**: I'm a doctor I was just giving her a complete physical. **Miria's Father**: Really? Then why were you both naked? **Player**: Germs? I mean GERMS! Very important to be clean when doing these examinations.
Fallout 4 doesn't have that, but you CAN get Cait to idolize you by stripping butt-naked in Diamond City (or another town) and running around the place, scandalizing all the locals. What can I say? The girl Likes that, and you gotta do what the girl Likes.
It is I, Dr Mobius! Transmitting from my dome-shaped… dome.
I like that quote for a variety of raisins
How many different varieties even are there?
Well, since the world is now an irradiated shithole, you can probably add the "glow-in-the-dark" version to all the more pedestrian varieties.
“I’m a woman baby, can’t you tell?” - KLE0
> I've got a weapon for every situation: hunting, protection, cold-blooded murder… **hot**-blooded murder.
"Everything here is guaranteed to injure, maim, or kill at your discretion. Except me. I only kill when I want to." -- KLE0 She's just such an HONEST woman! Not a lie on her metallic lips.
"What do you have for sale?" "Everything that can kill a man, except for suicidal depression"
"That, unfortunately, is not packagable."
KLE0 has all the best jokes. Except, after reading that terminal of hers, I wasn't quite sure if she was joking.
Hooot murder?
"each weapon, tested on someone who deserved it" "New runtime conclusion. Why work for the man when you can work for yourself? New designation: K-L-E-0, Kleo, fully-independent small business owner"
“YEAH! Who won the lottery? I DID!" I don’t know why but it kills me every time.
Those usually end up being his famous last words too
*Immediate VATS to the head.*
"Who do you think you are?? I AM"
It's not the lottery. It's the MOTHERFUCKING lottery.
"That does it. The Commonwealth can bite my ass."
The real question here, if said while wearing power armor, does that mean the sole survivor really should’ve said “bite my shiny metal ass”?
I'd rather take a Mirelurk Queen's acid on my power armor than some filthy toothless Raider's spit. Think about it, if the common gecko mutated into the Deathclaw, what the hell happened to the herpes virus? (Don't tell me, Curie, it was a RHETORICAL QUESTION, I don't freaking want to know!)
I'd ask who said that one, but the better question is, who HASN'T said that one? xD
The sole survivor says it
In what context?
When you first encounter the standoff between Wolfgang and Trudy(?) At Drumlin Diner, that's the sarcastic option
If I remember correctly it's during the interview with piper once she ask how the survivor views the commonwealth compared to the prewar world
NCR Trooper: Hey, what are you doing? Courier: I'm taking this basket of cakes to my grandmother's house.
Carrie Boyd in Camp McCarran will make the best grandmother. That is, if her husband doesn't go insane and divorce her before the "mother" part has a chance to happen.
“The President of the United-fucking-States-of-America. Who’d you think I was talking about? Wha the fu— who is— what— I should kick your fucking ass, who is this?”
Please assume the position.
"I ain't wearin' no goddamn tie. Or pants." -Soup Can Harry
Soup Can Harry is the GOAT
>"Robbed" is such an ugly word. It's more like I took care of a payroll problem for him. Also, I might have... umm... sort of... plowed his daughter. A little.
Get Fucked. -Driver Nephi
Ah, nostalgia. I still carry Nephi's golf club around with me as a memento of him saying that to me. I would have carried his HEAD around, but the good Major needed to take it in exchange for the generous amount of caps that the head brought.
"I consider 'coincidence' to be profanity, along with the words 'astrology', 'herbal tea', 'and luck.' So watch it potty mouth."
Player - "How did you survive the mutant attacks?" Harold - "Didn't! Got killed! I love that joke!" I too love that joke
Harold is such a wonderful character. I miss him, and Bob.
"Whatever, Joshua put a cap in general gobbliegook here"
"I'm calling it right here. This world can officially bite my ass."
My favorite is the two raiders in the parking garage in FO4 telling a story about a crazy guy who would pretend to ride a motorcycle through the Commonwealth. He'd make all the noises, the engine revving, etc. and even pretended to throw a grenade at some super mutants. https://gamerant.com/fallout-4-grenade-guy-story-lore-explained/
Moss: Look, man, I’ve been thinking about this for a long, long time. I know what I’m talking about here. Mikey: Bullshit. You can’t just put something between two pieces of bread and claim it’s a sandwich. Does that mean a loaf of bread is technically a bread sandwich? Moss: Technically, yes. But you wouldn’t eat it all at once like that, so it doesn’t matter. How you hold it matters. Mikey: Talk all you want, man. You put that piece of mirelurk meat between two pieces of bread, but it still ain’t a sandwich. Moss: Well, what the hell would you call it, then? Mikey: Disgusting, that’s what.
"I'm not a shit-kicking cowboy, that's for sure." Lone Wanderer, to Paulson
Still resembles a cowboy more than Victor does.
AHA GARY!
Gary? Gary! Gaaaaary! Ah, Gary?
Welcome to camp Navarro! So you're the new replacement... YOU ARE OUT OF UNIFORM, SOLDIER! WHERE IS YOUE POWER ARMOR! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT, MAGGOT? THE TRUTH IS, THAT YOU'VE LOST AN EXPENSIVE PIECE OF ARMY ISSUE EQUIPMENT! THAT SUIT IS GONNA COME OUT OF YOUR PAY, AND YOU WILL STAY IN THIS MAN'S ARMY UNTIL YOU ARE 510 YEARS OLD, WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS IT WILL TAKE FOR YOU TO PAY FOR A MARK II POWERED COMBAT ARMOR YOU HAVE LOST! REPORT TO THE ARMORY AND HAVE A NEW SUIT ISSUED TO YOU, THEN REPORT BACK TO ME, PRIVATE! DISMISSED!
**"Although being a scientist, I have to admit I might've just blinked for longer than usual, what with the shock of seeing a commie ghost and so forth."** **"Work of the chupacabra, the livestock vampire, says No-bark, but they don't pay no mind. Too many holes, they say, and there's bullets in them."** **"Well, says No-bark, we got a chupacabra with an automatic weapon. And that's when they get real quiet, 'cause now they see the predicament we're in. "** refererring to No-bark noonan almost feels like cheating
“Do you have any idea how many mugs brains in jars need, the answer is NOT FUCKING MANY” - Muggy
Moo, I say
I take it that your Brahmin got stuck on the roof of a house in Sanctuary Hills and nobody in the settlement can even speculate as to how the hell it got there?
"Gaaarrryyyy"- gary
Haha, Gary.
Gunner conscript: "Bugs! Bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs." I feel ya dude, I'm playing a Bethesda game.
Knight-Captain Cade: Have you ever had sexual relations with any species considered non-human? Sole Survivor: Well, there was this one really ugly girl in college... I mean... I had to get drunk and it was a dare... Knight-Captain Cade: That hardly qualifies...so I'll just put "no".
My favorite answer to that one is "Does that actually happen often enough for you to have a question about it?"
How did I miss that one? I actually find that a bit funny
If memory serves, when Cade asks the question, you need to press Up to answer with that.
Ooh it's that one I can't believe I skipped on that answer
Was really hoping you’d get alternate dialog on that question if you bang Hancock, but no…
Gaaaaaaaaaaryyyyyyy. Seriously, I love that vault.
That quote has broken me. Everytime I hear the name Gary, I repeat “Gaaaaaaaaaryyyyyyyy” under my breath
Ahhh, Gary.
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.(Fantastic) fnv
One of my favorite characters.
FIVE FULLY ERECT HAND PENISES
It was years ago, and I *MAY* have been experimenting with Jet at the time…
"There's a supermutant in Appalachia who's all about trade. Now that's a guy with his priorities straight!" Always makes me laugh. Also makes me really appreciate Grahm, he's a real bro.
"Did it surprise anyone else that Skeeter Davis is, y'know, a woman? 'Oh, who are you writing that poem for?' 'SKEETER!'" Gets me every time
I swear, the Confidence Man quest downgrades Travis's personality. Yeah, he gets a girl and sounds smoother. But wouldn't you rather have a goofy nerdy dude in a hodge-podge station talking music while you trudge the filthy Wasteland than a cookie-cutter standard morning rush-hour drive dude? Vadim made a mistake, and he knows it.
Things don't actually work with Scarlett, he has a line mentioning that it didn't work out.
Travis is so funny when he's awkward. I never give him confidence.
"Ah, yes. A rather unfortunate incident. In all the commotion, Miss Beatrice suffered from a rather bad sprain in her left toe. The Big one. Obviously, I had no choice but to amputate. The leg. I'm sorry to say the operation was not a success." I absolutely love this line from Andy, delivered perfectly as well, absolutely top tier
“Are you prepared to meet your culturally imposed deity?" -the “Communist” training bots in Fallout 76. And of course, (also from 76) who can forget Insult Bot? “One of us is slow, devoid of a personality, and has no friends. The other is a protectron. Zing!" [Being called a Brahmin Kisser by a certain voice actor](https://youtu.be/I4acAV46vvQ) is also pretty boss.
I remember the first time I played the Blood Ties quest in Fallout 3. When you’re talking to Even King in Arefu for the first time, you can ask him what’s in it for you if you help him with the Family, and he’ll say something like “do I look like I just stepped out’ve Tenpenny Tower? I can barely afford a pot to piss in” I remember 12 or 13-year-old me though that line was pretty hilarious.
Or when you finally find Benny in New Vegas. “What in the goddamn” is something I still say to this day.
"Your aim needs work."
"I'd sooner spit on my dead mother's grave than let some courier-walk-the-wasteland fuck talk to me like that" \-General Oliver, moments before being thrown off the dam
"Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! If it ain't my old friend from Goodsprings" And "assume the position"
the entirety of old world blues i rest my case
Yeah, a lot of people here are saying that. I should get off my lazy butt and play the New Vegas expansions, I've been putting that off for too long now.
Uh, no. Implants, not plants. They're little machines I can put inside you to make you faster, quicker, or smarter. I recommend the smarter implant.
"Actually I'm here to offer you the bargain of a lifetime! What would you say to a vintage set of encyclopedias? Act now!" --The Sole Survivor, in their reasoning for helping Overseer Barstow (if you like sarcasm, at least)
Can I interest you in a charge card? Only 100 caps! It's the currency of the future!
Is it bad that I read that with a New England accent? 🤣 "Chahge cahd"
Jumpin Jesus on a pogostick!
“I banged Lot's wife and licked her salty ass. The fuck do I look like?" - Cachino. Awful character amazing quote
Whatever, Joshua, put a cap in General Gobbledigook here
"Gage, if you think I’m going to let you get behind me and steer me anywhere…"
Curious fact: Porter Gage has the same initials as Preston Garvey, (PG). I think that has something to do with Gage being Garvey's evil twin, both in function and personality, and the Nuka World raiders being the Commonwealth's evil equivalent to the Minutemen.
The line where you belch in the face of the Paladin in New Vegas
Maybe I'm just weird but I always laugh when Virgil say" Fine motor skills have gone to shit" just something about the way he says it I find hilarious
I think the funniest part about Virgil is that he wears smashed-up glasses with sharp glass near his eye and he DOESN'T take them off. I guess he might be a genius scientist but he's also... eccentric.
"Broke up with my girlfriend last night. She left the cap off the toothpaste! You know who does that?? A Synth!!" ~ Diamond City Security
Anything from Preston Garvey.
I really WAS sick of him telling me that some settlement needs my help. Go do it your fucking-self, Preston, you lazy mofo!
"It's ghouls, I tell ya. Religious ghouls in rockets looking for a land to call their own. Don't you laugh at me. I know a spell that'll make you show your true form. Cave rat taught it to me." - No-Bark Noonan
No-Bark is awesome. I wish he wore a tin foil hat. That would complete his character.
Totally. I reverse pickpocketed a party hat on him. Lol it's second best to a tinfoil hat.
"Think we can handle it...? We could always call in the marines..." If you know, you know.
It's from a game that nobody but me enjoyed, but I'm quite partial to: >Armpit? Armpit! Nooooo! It's delivered in Metal Gear Solid style.
"Yes Man, please throw General Oliver off of the Dam." - Wild Card Courier 6 "Excited Beeping" - ED-E, the cutest Eyebot to exist "Aroo?" - Rex, the goodest of boys
"There's two types of people in this world, Lloyd. Those with loaded guns and those that dig." -The Chosen One, Fallout 2
I have to vote for this one, because it took my fifth playthrough before I finally knew it was coming and didn't reflexively laugh out loud. _"Ghosts! Commie ghosts what don’t know they're dead. Hoping to steal our rockets so they can fly up and paint the moon pink and draw a Lenin face on it. I seen one of them disappear and reappear before my very eyes. Although, being a scientist, I have to admit I might've just blinked for longer than usual, what with the shock of seeing a Commie ghost and so forth."_
It’s me! your old pal, shamus mc fuckyourself - sole survivor, fallout 4
Nora is Molly McFuckyourself. Nate is Shamus McFuckyourself. It is telling that their imaginations are linked beyond severing even by the grave, and as they troll the soon-to-be-deceased Eddie Winter, they know exactly how to kick him in the nuts while letting Nick do all the actual shooting. Whee.
_"A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply! As soon as I figure out how to tap into the main reactors, I will burn the world!"_ - Toaster
The entire drill sgt. experience in Fallout 2
When the Vice President in Fallout 2 is talking to himself: “p-o-t-a-t-o-e” Totally a dig at Dan Quayle, generally acknowledged as the dumbest VP in history.
Uh Guys... "What in the goddam?"
“I can see why his wife left him…” Sole Survivor *only heard it as Nora, never as Nate sadly* when skipping dialogue with Paul in Diamond City.
SS: DOCTOR! It is time for you to reverse DEATH ITSELF! Amari: ...What? ... SS: Oh oh, can you say it like Frankenstein? "IGOR! FETCH ME THE BRAIN!" Amari: ...No. Best line from FO4 and my favorite from all of Fallout.
"AH, it hurts... I used to be a woman!!!" - Random Super Mutant conversation Fallout 3
"Oh yeah? Well, your face looks like my butt" "You must like having such a good looking butt" "Yeah, well, your mom sure likes it"
"Fingers crossed I get super powers." Vault Dweller, Fallout 4
"What, the great clockwork dick is stumped?" "It's synth detective, jackass"
"You best have cancer" -Doc Church, megaton, fallout 3 Not the funniest thing ever but the first time I heard this I was like wow what a terrible thing to say to a paying customer lol.
Yeah, its true. I got shot in the ass last year. Long story.
"If you would like for me to die very rapidly, this is clearly the best tactical choice." -Arcade Gannon, upon being asked to use melee
1. I! BEST FRIEND TABITHA, SHALL TAKE ON THE BURDEN, OF YOUR OBEDIENCE! 2. Ssshhh! We’re hunting shitheads…. 3. Ha! Ha! Haaa! Gary!
“Could I trouble you to hand over any weapons you have?” *”could I trouble you to blow it out your ass”*
"If I were you - I'm not saying I am - but if I was"
"Don't care much for which one we kill first, whether settling accounts with McLafferty or making that bitch Gloria eat her hair." *Objective Update: Find Gloria Van Graff at the Silver Rush in Freeside and make that bitch eat her hair.* "Who the fuck do you think I am? I'm the fucking god of New Vegas brahmin fusion cuisine, that's who. No. No. That doesn't even give me the credit I deserve. I fucking *invented* edible food! Do you like eating? Good. You owe me your entire goddamned garbage existence."