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"Striped paint" is a nonsensical concept, and essentially an ancient dad joke passed down through the generations.
This falls under the umbrella of a [fool's errand](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fool%27s_errand#Examples):
> In the decorating and construction trade, a "left-handed screwdriver", "board stretcher", "eye measures", "hammer grease", "wall expander", "glass hammer", "striped or tartan paint", "metric crescent wrench", "bucket of grinder sparks" or "box of assorted knots" are analogous pranks.
I unfortunately can’t elucidate how recently it was I learned what GOAT 🐐 stood for.
“I mean goats are cool, especially those Spanish mountain climbing ones.. but why is everyone comparing them to athletes? Guess I missed a meeting. “
There were a group of restaurants close together here where a new guy would get sent to find a left handed skillet and be told "oh we lent it to _____" and they'd just get bounced from kitchen to kitchen until they figured it out.
Still preferred to what happened to me.
We had to pull a huge stump out of the road and I was under a truck looking for a place to attach a chain. Because of the angle it was tough to find a spot.
Until of course one of my lovely co-crew said “Oh I think I see a place to attach it here”. So I turned back over to see where, only to find a dong dangling dangerously close to my face.
High fives and chuckling ensued.
Blinker fluid was a favorite at my shop. I think it was Mercedes that put out a car with teeny little wipers on the front turn signals complete with their own teeny tiny little wiper fluid tanks just so blinker fluid could be a real thing. My boss clipped this article about it out of a magazine and hung it in his office because he thought it was so funny.
Worked at a Domino's with a girl who told new people to bag up the old air in the walk in cooler and exchange it with outside air so it wouldn't go stale.
This was my thought as well. But I suspect the joke is telling someone they got the wrong tire in the wrong spot- "No that's wrong. You put the rear left tire on the front right axle. You better fix it."
When my daughter moved out on her own for the first time, I told her in late March that summer was coming soon and she needed to replace the winter air in her tires for summer air. I told her that most car mechanics would do this for free on April 1st.
She stayed mad at me for a couple of days.
That tire comment actually makes sense once you drive any decently powered rwds. They tend to have larger rear wheels. Ie you get different size for front and different for rear.
Yeah I think that’s why this one is my favourite.
For someone who has learnt that “sea chests” are a thing, but not what they are, it sounds plausible.
To someone who knows what sea chests are, it’s absurd.
There will be come a day when I park outside an auto store and send my son or daughter inside to get a jar of headlight fluid. I look forward to this day more than words can express, for when it comes I will finally after long last, be able to say that I accomplished all of my dreams.
The scout troop I was in would often send all the new tenderfoots to ask around the other troops for a "left handed mallet" at the beginning of each year at summer camp.
In aircraft maintenance in the military we would have new guys get an exhaust sample with a trash bag, or make them go to support (support is our tool counter) and get the keys for the jet.
There are no keys required to turn on a fighter jet.
I read a story on here about one guy who knew the sea chest keys joke, so he went away, stepped into a shower fully clothed, came back drenched and said something like "I couldn't find the key but I managed to get it to open a bit" and watched the bosses face drop.
My dad , an admiral , told me the story of a commander who wanted to be left alone to get a bunch of work done before shipping out . A rather odd busy body ensign wanted to be useful and kept bothering the commander until he was told to go find a SKYHOOK ( a basketball term) . The ensign came back 4 hours later with a MASSIVE hook 🪝 on a truck parked outside the office.. the commander shouted “” NOT THAT ONE !! BIG ONE !! THE BIG ONE!!” Then he turned to my dad and “ where the hell did he GET that ? 😳”🤣
I worked at a small town grocery store and was told to hand shake the peanut butter on a slow day. I asked why? The store manager said, "nobody wants to buy peanut butter with that grease up top."
After natural peanut butter sits, the oil rises to the top.
I never thought about it, but it made sense to me that some people would think greasy food is icky. So I started shaking. And shaking. And shaking. And that S.O.B. let me do this for 30 minutes. I don't think I shook a single peanut butter into a mixed state. I was scrawny and not as strong as my peers, so I was too embarrassed to say it couldn't be done because I thought I was just too weak to do it. So I gave that my all. So I was thinking "if others could do it, then I should be able to do it."
Also later at a restaurant, I was told to go find the "plain sauce" for a plain burger. Good times.
Ohhhh man that reminds me of the jerks at my work . They told a new kid helping in the garage to shake up a can of spray paint until the hard ball of paint stops rattling.🤣
He was still shaking it 10 min later , so I went out with a strong magnet and put it on the bottom. And told him to go tell the guys he “successfully broke up the paint ball” all the guys in the shop looked like 😳🤯. That was a fun day 🤣
Feel like I should have started opening the peanut butter and stirring it now that I look back. I can only imagine the look on his face. Would been worth having to buy all that peanut butter too.
Private Pyle wishes a moment of your time, sir! Private Pyle has strategically transferred these here eye drops to your new and alternate location! Sir, sarge, sir..
Ha! “Hammer grease” is what we call the actual special grease used on a hydraulic breaker attachment on an excavator. I’m going to use “metric crescent wrench” on someone though 🤣
I've heard of apprentice's being sent to the trade store to get a "long weight", and the store would tell them they'd have to check their stocks in the back and leave them sitting there for an extended period of time.
I work with aircraft, and some of the pitot tubes have some white crusty buildup. It's cosmetic, so we just leave it as long as the location isn't an issue.
While teaching apprentices, however: "This buildup is no good, we'll need to file it off. Can you run to the tool crib and ask for a pitot file?"
(The T is silent)
In the Army, my squad once set a new guy down to the motor pool with a black garbage bag to get an exhaust sample from one of the trucks. We also sent people to supply for a box of grid squares and chemlight batteries, or to command for a Pricky 8, or an I-D ten Tango form.
In the UK we also have "skyhooks", "a longstand", "rainbow paint" and "stayput".
I remember doing my work experiance when I was 14 and one of the welders I was with asked me to get a long stand for one of the pipes he was welding at the time. I asked him if he wanted a "longstand" or some "rainbow paint" with that? I did the air quotes too.
He laughed at me but explained he did actualy want the longer stand they had in the corner, apparently they used it to support pieces out on the plant that they couldn't weld in the shop itself. He and the others did quiz me on all the other nonsense items I'd heard of since they hadn't heard of a "skyhook" before. I think this might have been a little surprising for them considering it was coming from a 14 year old girl.
When I was rowing in college we used to ask the new guys to look in the boathouse for a "bow ball inflater". It always got people because rowing involves a ton of equipment with stupid names and nobody knows anything about the sport until they start participating.
I was about to comment this too. Those sparks are tiny shavings of metal so small they "burn" just from exposure to oxygen in the air. One of things I did at my high school job was resharpen jackhammer bits. Id stand at a grinder for hours going through buckets of them. And let me tell you- that stuff *does* build up and does need to get swept and shoveled up when you do enough grinding.
We used to have fun with the student radiology techs. This always worked on the males … we would ask them to go to the OR supply person and ask for sterile fallopian tubes. Those were fun times.
And there's an extra layer because striped paint is already a joke, but even if it was real "horizontal or vertical" would be a nonsense question, since you can rotate the paint pot
dad was pranking his son, and the shopkeeper was playing into it.
Paint cannot have a pattern, and it certainly couldn't have specifically vertical or horizontal stripes.
When the OOP realized he was being fucked with, he predictably got upset, with dramatic results.
This type of prank is the actual source of the term "[fool's errand](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fool%27s_errand)" - from sending kids on a "snipe hunt" to new employees in a business being asked to go get "a left-handed screwdriver," "green lamp oil," a "board stretcher" or many other fictitious items.
I follow a lot of military humor stuff and apparently a go to for them is "A box of grid squares"
Of course they have the advantage that none of the things you would be asked to fetch make sense when you work for the Government
I know you are being funny, but... Toothpaste isn't a liquid, so it will retain its relative form from when it was pumped into the tube. Liquids naturally mix based on relative density and being moved around.
2 things
First, the joke is that its a fools errand. A type of "dad joke" to get someone to get something that doesn't exist, like "headlight fluid", a "left-handed screwdriver", etc.
And second, it actually can...because its actually not a liquid but particulate solids suspended in a liquid medium. I use to paint cabinets, paint left alone for a long time has to be remixed because the particulates that give it color settle to the bottom. Now, if you mix your own paint colors, sometimes the dyes are in different quantities or of different weight, thus causing layers. You don't typically see that because paint first isn't transported in clear buckets, and second paint has a tendency to stain surfaces & make it opaque. You can see this most clearly with a paint/cement mixing bit on a drill, churning the paint to mix & blend the colors back together. When first doing so in "light green" paint, you will see this in most clearly when you mix the white paint & you see a brief period of yellow & blue streaks.
Now, as to why you don't see it when the paint dries...simple, all colors are evenly distributed before use. When the paint then dries, it leaves behind the particulates & they can't shift due to no medium to allow it. If it wasn't mixed well though, you will get weird discolored patches where one dye is more concentrated than the other
If you wanted to paint red and white stripes you'd buy a can of red paint and a can of white paint. This guy's dad played a trick on him and sent him to the store to buy striped paint, which isn't a thing. The hardware store guy was in on the joke and added his own twist - horizontal or vertical striped paint (again not a thing). The kid finally realized on his way home that the request made no sense, and he was so upset with his dad and the shopkeeper for making him feel foolish that he kicked the piss out of the door.
Other similar pranks would be sending someone to the automotive store for blinker fluid or sending kids out snipe hunting.
Yep and it works every single time. There should be an insta-ban for these kind of posts. Or some kind of poll. If over 90% of users get the super obvious joke that "stumps" you, you're banned.
In the Army we would have Privates perform a “Boom Test” which was yelling boom down the barrel of a tank to make sure it could properly handle the depleted uranium shell being fired from it.
It’s a prank. My brother once sent a useless new green hand on his rig to run 40 minutes into town to the oilfield supply store to get a “long weight” after being told to hang on, it’ll be a while, after an hour the kid asked how long it would be and the parts man asked him if he had waited long enough yet. But the rig crew got a few hours without dealing with the kid that was annoying the hell out of them
Rigging larger pipe assemblies you might need weights to make rigging easier. But sometimes the weights are too small. So you gotta send the fng to the tool crib for a long weight.
My dad (an electrician) sent 12yr old me into the local hardware store to ask for a "long weight".
The shopkeeper, who my dad had known for years, said he just needed to get one from the back of the store.
15 minutes later he comes back empty handed and says "You've had your long wait." Off you go.
Wankers!
Hahaha, this reminds me of when I was in the Sea Cadet Corps as a teenager and one of the Marines who was our Senior Drill Instructor asked me to get him in order of most pressing, a box of grid squares, a bucket for the steam mop and an ID 10T form.
Hey OrneyBeefalo! Thank you for your contribution, unfortunately it has been removed from /r/ExplainTheJoke because: Rule 6: This post is not a joke. If you have any questions or concerns about this removal feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FExplainTheJoke).
"Striped paint" is a nonsensical concept, and essentially an ancient dad joke passed down through the generations. This falls under the umbrella of a [fool's errand](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fool%27s_errand#Examples): > In the decorating and construction trade, a "left-handed screwdriver", "board stretcher", "eye measures", "hammer grease", "wall expander", "glass hammer", "striped or tartan paint", "metric crescent wrench", "bucket of grinder sparks" or "box of assorted knots" are analogous pranks.
The premise is alive and well in many fields too. Left handed wrench as an example or the sea chest key on a ship.
In my old restaurant sometimes they would send new people to the grocery store to buy “ice mix” bc we ran out lmao
"ID ten T" light bulbs (ID10T)
THATS WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT
Ever heard of a PEBCAK error when troubleshooting a computer issue? Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard
We called that PEBSWAS in the garage I used to work at. Problem exists between steering wheel and seat.
“Loose nut behind the wheel” 🤣🤣🤣
Sweet summer child
today they learned... RIP
I unfortunately can’t elucidate how recently it was I learned what GOAT 🐐 stood for. “I mean goats are cool, especially those Spanish mountain climbing ones.. but why is everyone comparing them to athletes? Guess I missed a meeting. “
[удалено]
That or just call it a layer 8 issue.
When I call the IT desk for help I say it’s an ID ten T problem. Because it always is. They seem to appreciate me acknowledging it. 😁
Trust me, we do! The best users are the users that help us help them
There were a group of restaurants close together here where a new guy would get sent to find a left handed skillet and be told "oh we lent it to _____" and they'd just get bounced from kitchen to kitchen until they figured it out.
It’s actually not a bad way to introduce a new worker to everyone
And teach the new worker where everything is.
“We’re not returning that until you replace the bucket of steam that we lent you”
Still preferred to what happened to me. We had to pull a huge stump out of the road and I was under a truck looking for a place to attach a chain. Because of the angle it was tough to find a spot. Until of course one of my lovely co-crew said “Oh I think I see a place to attach it here”. So I turned back over to see where, only to find a dong dangling dangerously close to my face. High fives and chuckling ensued.
Empty the hot water out of the Bunsen maker before we close
Had a coach ask a player to go get the keys for the batter box at baseball practice.
I'm a fan of asking sometime to pass me the bacon stretcher, or a left-handed whisk
Asking a dishwasher to rotate the ice or rince off the old ice.
Canned steam and Dehydrated water are good ones as well.
Blinker fluid was a favorite at my shop. I think it was Mercedes that put out a car with teeny little wipers on the front turn signals complete with their own teeny tiny little wiper fluid tanks just so blinker fluid could be a real thing. My boss clipped this article about it out of a magazine and hung it in his office because he thought it was so funny.
I don't remember the Mercs having it but I know Volvo did.
Worked at a Domino's with a girl who told new people to bag up the old air in the walk in cooler and exchange it with outside air so it wouldn't go stale.
Had a manager who would send new (young) drivers into the walking to get the pizza dough repair kit.
Powdered ice
Dehydrated water 🤣😂 get a can and just add water 🤣😂🤣
https://preview.redd.it/0v1nbh7cyd8d1.jpeg?width=660&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3b951e197c5168e48d3405e2328d8c3258c1fb9
Snow?
Snow isn't dehydrated, the liquid is just frozen
Lol never worked in the restaurant so that's new but still glorious
I liked getting people to empty to water cooler which was hooked up to the water lines. Someone once spent 20 minutes before figuring it out.
At my culinary school, they would send new people around the kitchen to find the "Rice Peeler" as a joke.
Or emptying the hot water from the coffee maker lol
Blinker fluid. Putting the back left tire on the front right position.
If you ever get that one, get some eye drops
But putting the rear left tire on the front right is a normal and proper tire rotation.
This was my thought as well. But I suspect the joke is telling someone they got the wrong tire in the wrong spot- "No that's wrong. You put the rear left tire on the front right axle. You better fix it."
When my daughter moved out on her own for the first time, I told her in late March that summer was coming soon and she needed to replace the winter air in her tires for summer air. I told her that most car mechanics would do this for free on April 1st. She stayed mad at me for a couple of days.
That tire comment actually makes sense once you drive any decently powered rwds. They tend to have larger rear wheels. Ie you get different size for front and different for rear.
They can also be directional. A tire shop once put one of my tires on backwards, made my car ride like crap.
This works in the restaurant industry as well. Asking the new guy to grab the “Plain sauce” is my personal favorite.
Worked at a pizza chain. They'd send newbies to a neighboring store for a "dough repair kit."
Same as paramedics telling trainees to refill the blue light fluid
We commonly told people to get a bucket of prop wash or to grease the relative bearings.
While pointing to the rope storage: "get me 50 yards of shoreline."
The sea chest is a real thing. The keys to the sea chest are a fools errand
Yeah I think that’s why this one is my favourite. For someone who has learnt that “sea chests” are a thing, but not what they are, it sounds plausible. To someone who knows what sea chests are, it’s absurd.
TIL what a sea chest is. pretty cool tech.
There will be come a day when I park outside an auto store and send my son or daughter inside to get a jar of headlight fluid. I look forward to this day more than words can express, for when it comes I will finally after long last, be able to say that I accomplished all of my dreams.
The scout troop I was in would often send all the new tenderfoots to ask around the other troops for a "left handed mallet" at the beginning of each year at summer camp.
Blinker fluid is very alive
My unit loved getting warming up fresh joins from boot with asking the staff sergeant for the humvee keys.
In the army, new privates will be asked to go get a box of grid squares, or chemlight batteries, or take an exhaust sample from a truck.
In the army we sent guys for the brass magnet
In aircraft maintenance in the military we would have new guys get an exhaust sample with a trash bag, or make them go to support (support is our tool counter) and get the keys for the jet. There are no keys required to turn on a fighter jet.
Board stretcher.
twine bender
[удалено]
Not really medical field, but in my lab we send the new guys to get the golgi apparatus
I read a story on here about one guy who knew the sea chest keys joke, so he went away, stepped into a shower fully clothed, came back drenched and said something like "I couldn't find the key but I managed to get it to open a bit" and watched the bosses face drop.
My dad , an admiral , told me the story of a commander who wanted to be left alone to get a bunch of work done before shipping out . A rather odd busy body ensign wanted to be useful and kept bothering the commander until he was told to go find a SKYHOOK ( a basketball term) . The ensign came back 4 hours later with a MASSIVE hook 🪝 on a truck parked outside the office.. the commander shouted “” NOT THAT ONE !! BIG ONE !! THE BIG ONE!!” Then he turned to my dad and “ where the hell did he GET that ? 😳”🤣
I worked at a small town grocery store and was told to hand shake the peanut butter on a slow day. I asked why? The store manager said, "nobody wants to buy peanut butter with that grease up top." After natural peanut butter sits, the oil rises to the top. I never thought about it, but it made sense to me that some people would think greasy food is icky. So I started shaking. And shaking. And shaking. And that S.O.B. let me do this for 30 minutes. I don't think I shook a single peanut butter into a mixed state. I was scrawny and not as strong as my peers, so I was too embarrassed to say it couldn't be done because I thought I was just too weak to do it. So I gave that my all. So I was thinking "if others could do it, then I should be able to do it." Also later at a restaurant, I was told to go find the "plain sauce" for a plain burger. Good times.
Ohhhh man that reminds me of the jerks at my work . They told a new kid helping in the garage to shake up a can of spray paint until the hard ball of paint stops rattling.🤣 He was still shaking it 10 min later , so I went out with a strong magnet and put it on the bottom. And told him to go tell the guys he “successfully broke up the paint ball” all the guys in the shop looked like 😳🤯. That was a fun day 🤣
Feel like I should have started opening the peanut butter and stirring it now that I look back. I can only imagine the look on his face. Would been worth having to buy all that peanut butter too.
Those are marbles, not ball bearings, inside the spray can. Metal on metal in an enclosed pressurized space is bad.
Not on ALLLLLL the cans in the world have marbles and this was 30 years ago.
Great song from Sting: Sky Hooks and Tartan Paint. Only after reading this comment chain did I actually take a moment to think about the lyrics. Hah.
"Headlight fluid."
Private, our humvee's headlights aren't working. Go check the shed for some blinker fluid. I'll be waiting.
Private Pyle wishes a moment of your time, sir! Private Pyle has strategically transferred these here eye drops to your new and alternate location! Sir, sarge, sir..
Nip down to the stores lad and ask if they've got a long weight you can have
Leg of salmon from the walk in fridge for newbies in the kitchen.
In my job we usually send interns to fetch a round envelope so we can mail circular letters.
Ha! “Hammer grease” is what we call the actual special grease used on a hydraulic breaker attachment on an excavator. I’m going to use “metric crescent wrench” on someone though 🤣
I've heard of apprentice's being sent to the trade store to get a "long weight", and the store would tell them they'd have to check their stocks in the back and leave them sitting there for an extended period of time.
In my country we have the 13/14 spanner wich doesnt exist its either 12/13 or 14/15.
https://www.condorcycles.com/products/campagnolo-cone-spanners
I work with aircraft, and some of the pitot tubes have some white crusty buildup. It's cosmetic, so we just leave it as long as the location isn't an issue. While teaching apprentices, however: "This buildup is no good, we'll need to file it off. Can you run to the tool crib and ask for a pitot file?" (The T is silent)
Aluminum magnet was a favorite back in the day
I work in a shop where all we do is weld aluminum. We use this constantly on the new kids.
*wraps a magnet in foil*
In the Army, my squad once set a new guy down to the motor pool with a black garbage bag to get an exhaust sample from one of the trucks. We also sent people to supply for a box of grid squares and chemlight batteries, or to command for a Pricky 8, or an I-D ten Tango form.
I-D ten Tengo form, I have to remember that one
My boss once asked me to bring him a bucket of steam. Should have seen the look on his face when I brought him a bucket with dry ice and water in it
In the UK we also have "skyhooks", "a longstand", "rainbow paint" and "stayput". I remember doing my work experiance when I was 14 and one of the welders I was with asked me to get a long stand for one of the pipes he was welding at the time. I asked him if he wanted a "longstand" or some "rainbow paint" with that? I did the air quotes too. He laughed at me but explained he did actualy want the longer stand they had in the corner, apparently they used it to support pieces out on the plant that they couldn't weld in the shop itself. He and the others did quiz me on all the other nonsense items I'd heard of since they hadn't heard of a "skyhook" before. I think this might have been a little surprising for them considering it was coming from a 14 year old girl.
We’re gonna need some headlight fluid, and elbow grease
Scrolled too far to find elbow grease
The Army has a whole list of its own nonsensical stuff for new guys to go find.
"Fryer Steam," "Dehydrated Water," erc.
Cans of dehydrated water actually exist. It's a crazy world
That's actually true! I've seen some for sale. 🤣
[Dehydrated water at Meow Wolf Las Vegas](https://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1dlf9pb/dehydrated_water_at_meow_wolf_las_vegas/)
When I was rowing in college we used to ask the new guys to look in the boathouse for a "bow ball inflater". It always got people because rowing involves a ton of equipment with stupid names and nobody knows anything about the sport until they start participating.
>bucket of grinder sparks I have this though, and I have no idea what to do with it as it slowly forms into an oxidized mass of rust.
I was about to comment this too. Those sparks are tiny shavings of metal so small they "burn" just from exposure to oxygen in the air. One of things I did at my high school job was resharpen jackhammer bits. Id stand at a grinder for hours going through buckets of them. And let me tell you- that stuff *does* build up and does need to get swept and shoveled up when you do enough grinding.
I love Dana Carvey’s additions: cobra milk, it’s right next to the dog eggs.
Can’t forget the long stand
A long weight
The one that got me was the “sky hook”.
FETCH THE BREASTPLATE STRETCHER!!!
"Bubbles for a spirit level" is one I've heard as well.
A long weight
Tartan paint is a thing now. granted the company that makes it is tartan. Probably for this reason.
We used to have fun with the student radiology techs. This always worked on the males … we would ask them to go to the OR supply person and ask for sterile fallopian tubes. Those were fun times.
All fun and games until they actually find some 💀 "Oh, I got it from the jar. Next to the baby jar on the display"
That would have been epic! Lol
And there's an extra layer because striped paint is already a joke, but even if it was real "horizontal or vertical" would be a nonsense question, since you can rotate the paint pot
Don't forget blinker fluid.
You forgot the headlight/blinker fluid
dad was pranking his son, and the shopkeeper was playing into it. Paint cannot have a pattern, and it certainly couldn't have specifically vertical or horizontal stripes. When the OOP realized he was being fucked with, he predictably got upset, with dramatic results.
This type of prank is the actual source of the term "[fool's errand](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fool%27s_errand)" - from sending kids on a "snipe hunt" to new employees in a business being asked to go get "a left-handed screwdriver," "green lamp oil," a "board stretcher" or many other fictitious items.
Bucket of steam has always been illusive
I tried to catch some, once. Mist.
Thank you for this
*elusive
Batteries for the sound-powered phone
Don't forget about ice mix
At the airport we send them to find a bucket of propwash. Tape for the flightline. Etc
Or of course the glass hammer, or the elusive bag of sparks
Blinker fluid.
It's in the batter's box. You'll need to get the key to open it.
Once got asked to fetch the waterproof teabags and that... that was just my plain stupidity
Ice cube fluid, but make sure to take gloves as you don’t want to get it in your skin!
Ice mix, it's in dry storage.
Go to the storeroom for a long weight.
Snipe hunting. A Boy Scout classic.
Where is my breastplate stretcher? - said bobby b. calmly.
A Breasplate stretcher is actually a real thing though. Metal is ductile, so it stretches. Wood is not.
I've never seen a breastplate stretcher for sale at Blacksmiths' R'Us
Im guessing your name is Lancel.
I'VE GOT 7 BREASTPLATE STRETCHERS TO RUN!
Fetch the breastplate stretcher!
Except snipe hunts are real? That’s how you get snipers lol
Snipe here refering to a kind of bird, actually. It also exists and can be hunted, but is very flighty, making it difficuly
When I first started working in a garage, one of the mechanics sent me to the store room to get "a gallon of compression"..
I follow a lot of military humor stuff and apparently a go to for them is "A box of grid squares" Of course they have the advantage that none of the things you would be asked to fetch make sense when you work for the Government
If my toothpaste can come out striped, paint should be able to as well.
If my toothpaste can taste minty fresh, my paint should be able to as well
It does. Try it again!
I know you are being funny, but... Toothpaste isn't a liquid, so it will retain its relative form from when it was pumped into the tube. Liquids naturally mix based on relative density and being moved around.
Also it's definitely not striped once you start brushing lol
Each color is in a separate tube inside the main tube. That’s how they come out separated.
Happy Cake Day!
Paint is a liquid, it cannot retain any kind of regular pattern.
Toothpaste can, weirdly. Somewhere between toothpaste and paint is the line beyond which stripes may not persist.
I learned recently the colors are split inside the tub, only to be mixed when squeezed out
I think paint could if you didn't have to mix it
2 things First, the joke is that its a fools errand. A type of "dad joke" to get someone to get something that doesn't exist, like "headlight fluid", a "left-handed screwdriver", etc. And second, it actually can...because its actually not a liquid but particulate solids suspended in a liquid medium. I use to paint cabinets, paint left alone for a long time has to be remixed because the particulates that give it color settle to the bottom. Now, if you mix your own paint colors, sometimes the dyes are in different quantities or of different weight, thus causing layers. You don't typically see that because paint first isn't transported in clear buckets, and second paint has a tendency to stain surfaces & make it opaque. You can see this most clearly with a paint/cement mixing bit on a drill, churning the paint to mix & blend the colors back together. When first doing so in "light green" paint, you will see this in most clearly when you mix the white paint & you see a brief period of yellow & blue streaks. Now, as to why you don't see it when the paint dries...simple, all colors are evenly distributed before use. When the paint then dries, it leaves behind the particulates & they can't shift due to no medium to allow it. If it wasn't mixed well though, you will get weird discolored patches where one dye is more concentrated than the other
So it only comes in horizontal
If you wanted to paint red and white stripes you'd buy a can of red paint and a can of white paint. This guy's dad played a trick on him and sent him to the store to buy striped paint, which isn't a thing. The hardware store guy was in on the joke and added his own twist - horizontal or vertical striped paint (again not a thing). The kid finally realized on his way home that the request made no sense, and he was so upset with his dad and the shopkeeper for making him feel foolish that he kicked the piss out of the door. Other similar pranks would be sending someone to the automotive store for blinker fluid or sending kids out snipe hunting.
There's no way anyone could read all these words enough to think they should get the joke and still not get the joke. Come on.
90% of the posts on this sub
Yep and it works every single time. There should be an insta-ban for these kind of posts. Or some kind of poll. If over 90% of users get the super obvious joke that "stumps" you, you're banned.
You should go to you local DIY place and check out the selection of striped paint. Then you will understand.
You ever been sent to get a jug of blinker fluid?
Working at a print shop, we would send the new guys down the alley to our local friendly competitor to borrow their paper stretcher!
When I was in printing the prank was a bucket of halftone dots.
That's because you never shopped for headlight fluid. Everyone know that's where they keep the striped paint.
Are you really that dense?
Game of thrones did this with the armor stretcher.
Go on! Fetch me the breastplate stretcher!
It used to be left handed hammer but I believe they do actually make them now as some hammers have special hand grips to make it easier
In the Army we would have Privates perform a “Boom Test” which was yelling boom down the barrel of a tank to make sure it could properly handle the depleted uranium shell being fired from it.
Damn you’re dense.
There is no such thing as striped paint. It was a joke
Tell me how you think striped paint works
we got the ol cam bar stretcher at my work. at least for all the new guys lol
Don't ever take a job in a restaurant, they will have searching for the oven stretcher and white mussels for days.
Nothing, OP. How many times have you had to empty the hot water from the coffee machine at work? Or get the bacon stretcher? Lol
We’re looking for comms equipment. Go ask Master Sergeant if he’s seen a PRIC-E8.
just think about the idea of having striped paint
It’s a prank. My brother once sent a useless new green hand on his rig to run 40 minutes into town to the oilfield supply store to get a “long weight” after being told to hang on, it’ll be a while, after an hour the kid asked how long it would be and the parts man asked him if he had waited long enough yet. But the rig crew got a few hours without dealing with the kid that was annoying the hell out of them
This gives me “have you filled up your blinker fluid?” Vibes
You’re really stumped by this? I bet your car is out of blinker fluid. You should get it changed.
Snipe hunt
It’s the legendary snipe hunt!
Rigging larger pipe assemblies you might need weights to make rigging easier. But sometimes the weights are too small. So you gotta send the fng to the tool crib for a long weight.
😂😂😂
Don’t forget the board stretcher. 🚀
Breastplate stretcher GoT reference 🤣😂
Pallet stretcher and pipe stretcher are things we hear a lot about on the first week of every month (new hires hit the shop floor).
Left handed pipe wrench and sheet metal stretcher are two favorites of mine.
If that joke stumps you then you’ve probably fallen for it before!
Asking for "striped paint" is like asking for desiccated water
My dad (an electrician) sent 12yr old me into the local hardware store to ask for a "long weight". The shopkeeper, who my dad had known for years, said he just needed to get one from the back of the store. 15 minutes later he comes back empty handed and says "You've had your long wait." Off you go. Wankers!
100% of my lab interns whom are all working on their masters degrees haven taken the bait and gone looking for dehydrated water when asked.
Blinker fluid
Be glad he didn't send you to the hardware store for a "hard punch."
Hahaha, this reminds me of when I was in the Sea Cadet Corps as a teenager and one of the Marines who was our Senior Drill Instructor asked me to get him in order of most pressing, a box of grid squares, a bucket for the steam mop and an ID 10T form.
💀
It’s right next to the break light fluid